10 • The Coconut Telegraph • October 2015 October 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 11 of music from classic rock performed his rousing har- Common MythConceptions John Popper Hooks Crowd at Gilbert’s favorites to Limp Bizkit. monica rendition of the Star WORLD'S MOST CONTAGIOUS FALSEHOODS By Rob LeBrun After a short break, The Spangled Banner, to a stand- Regs took the stage and ing ovation. The Vomitorium Oil stops pasta from sticking Napoleon was short Missing persons reports fine-tuned the sound before Island Rock Entertain- Not a room Romans used for Nope. But it can stop the water A tall tale. He was actually Police don't demand a 24-hour John performed. The crowd ment and Gilbert‛s Resort Bacchanalian binges, but the name foaming or boiling over. above average height for a French- period before accepting a missing cheered wildly when Popper have worked tirelessly to for the entrance to a stadium. Bats are blind man of the time, persons report. took the stage, most in disbe- bring Rock Stars like Joe Don't be fact-blind! Bats can Black holes Bananas grow on trees Body heat & the head lief that a rock star of this not only see. They can also use Lynn Turner, Carmine Appice, Not really 'holes' but hugely Actually grow on massive herbs Only in infants is most heat lost magnitude was at Gilberts Buck Dharma, and John dense objects with massive gravi- echolocation. That's why they're so that resemble trees. Bet you didn't through the head. Or if the head is performing for them, for Popper to Gilbert‛s over the tational pull. awesome! know that the only uncovered part of the free nonetheless. Popper- summer. More concerts are Don't eat & swim! body. Great Wall of China Vikings wore horned helmets joined the Regs on songs like Doesn't increase risk of being planned for the fall and Not visible from space. Myth. Actually created by a costume Iron maidens “Folsom Prison,” “Higher winter months. Check out Now stop saying it! cramps; alcohol is the biggest risk designer for a 19th-century Wagner Never were medieval torture increaser. But a full stomach make Ground,” “Imagine,” and Gilberts facebook page or Dogs sweat by salivating opera. devices, but 18th- century fakes you short of breath. “Roadhouse Blues.” John sang visit Gilberts on the web at No. They regulate tempera- Don't touch baby birds! created for sensational circuses. MSG gives you headaches his hits “But Anyway,” “Hook,” www.gilbertsresort.com for ture I through panting. They Birds have a limited sense of We have 5 senses No proof, just anecdotal and “Run Around.” He also the entertainment schedule. actually sweat through footpads. smell so won't abandon babies who We actually have close to 20, John Popper of Blues Traveler performs at Gilberts with The Regs. evidence implicating flavour 'smell' of humans. including balance, pain, movement, Einstein failed math 'enhancer' monosodium glutamate. Nope. He failed an entrance "Yes, I'm a cop" hunger, thirst, etc. Nothing could stop John drive by Benny Harrison and a Chastity belts exam for a school but still excelled US undercover police do not Humans & dinosaurs Popper from performing at member of The Regs, John Not anti-adultery devices. in math. have to identify themselves as cops. Despite 41% of US adults Gilbert‛s. Not the forecast Popper was waiting to go Instead invented by prudes in the A Hollywood-induced myth- thinking they coexisted, we actually of rain, or hundreds of motor- onstage for the crowd. Goldfishes‛ 3-sec. memory 19th century to prevent 'dangerous missed each other by -63 million While not the smartest, masturbation. Evolution is a 'theory' cycles heading back from Key Island Rock Entertain- goldfish boast a memory span of In science, a 'theory' is years. West, making Gilbert‛s a ment promised a great show, Shaving thickens hair 3 months... better than most anything more than a conjecture. Glass is a liquid standing room only affair. and they didn‛t disappoint. Regrown hair isn't thicker, politicans. Usually an extensively tested idea Actually an 'amorphous solid' Transportation logistics tried Local favorites “Colbert” coarser or darker, it just appears so uniting data from many observa- 'But that's why stained-glass We evolved from chimps because its no longer tapered. to throw a wrinkle in the started the show off with a No. Along with bonobos, they tions. windows are thicker at the show, but after a 10-hour bang, delivering a wide array A huge crowd awaits John Popper after a stellar set by Colbert the Band. Left & right brain are our closest living genetic rela- Caffeine dehydrates you bottom.'Nope, it's just badly made No solid division between tives. A shared ancestor lived 5-8 Not really. The diuretic effect glass. talents of each hemisphere; left million years ago. of caffeine is offset by the amount Vaccines cause autism brain can learn 'right brain' func- of water in a caffeinated drink. Groundless fears based on Sugar causes hyperactivity tions & vice-versa. Studies have disproved this. Dropped pennies kill fraudulent research that's been We only use 10% of brain ADHD and poor behaviors still Terminal velocity of a penny is shown to have been manipulated. Misunderstood metaphor. occurs in children with sugar-free 30-50 mph, which isn't fast enough. Alcohol keeps you warm Proportion of our brain 'firing' is diets. It would hurt though. Dilates warm blood vessels near task-dependent. Ultimately, all cells the skin, creating the impression of The three wise men are important. A fatwa is a death sentence Nowhere in the New Testament It actually means 'non-binding warmth. It can drop core body Alcohol kills brain cells does it specify there were three. legal opinion'. temp. Only in heavy users & alcoholics Milk increases mucous Satan rules Hell who rely on alcohol to get most of Salty water boils quicker Nope. It just straight doesn't Doesn't actually say this their calories. Adding a sprinkle of salt to anywhere in the Bible. fresh water makes no difference. There's no need to avoid dairy if Flushed water rotation Huge, sea-level amounts do. you have a cold. 7 years to digest gum Does not rotate the other way Jihad is 'holy war' The chewy base of gum is in the Southern hemisphere. The No sex before the game! It actually translates as indigestible & passes straight Coriolis effect doesn't affect water No evidence sex impairs 'struggle' though it does come in through. The remainder is in toilets. athletic performance. Could even absorbed. help athletes due to increased ‘lesser and greater' flavors. Martyrs & 72 virgins await testosterone. Washington & weed Sharks don‛t get cancer A matter of debate in Islam. He grew hemp to make rope & Oh yes they do get cancer. Nowhere in the Koran, but is Different tongue parts clothes, but there's no evidence he Particularly skin cancer. reported in other texts. There are no different sections for each taste: bitter, sour, salty, smoked a phat one, most nights. Bulls hate red Electric fan at night Bulls are color-blind. They sweet & umami (savory/meaty). Big myth in South Korea that Research: James Kennedy, Miriam Quick, actually react to motions of the this is deadly. Very unlikely to harm Don‛t wake sleepwalkers? Ella Hollowood, Pearl Doughty-White. bull fighter's cloth as a perceived They'll be really confused, but you, unless you put the fan in the www.InformationIsBeautiful.net threat. bed. its okay. They're more likely to hurt sources: http://en.wikipedia-org themselves if they're not wakened. /wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions Snopes.com, NYTlmes, StraightDope Wewereshockedtoreadsomeofthese,too,butinspotchecking,couldnotfindonethatwasfalse! data: bit.ly/KIB_Mythconception.