“Understanding Nonverbal Communication” The Importance of Nonverbal Communication • The Secret Language of Success • Learn how to tell if someone is lying to you. • Understand how to appear confident, when nervous • Recognize the hidden power of your handshake. • Identify gender communication differences between men and women. • Learn to develop articulate/positive body language during presentations. • Understand acceptable and unacceptable cultural body language. • Explore sensitivities in various cultures. • Turn a job interview into a job by recognizing positive body language signals. • Identify power plays for successful self-selling. an Latiolais Hargrave teaches you the ways in Louisiana Attorney General’s Office, and various legal Jwhich your body communicates to the world around Bench and Bar Associations across the country. you. Her information could help you to “read” your The Cajun French Ms. Hargrave was born to French- customers, your family, your students, your associates, Acadian parents in the unique “Joie de Vivre” (Joy in fact, everyone around you. Author of Let Me See of Life) culture of southwest Louisiana and as a Your Body Talk, Freeway of Love, Judge The Jury result, sprinkles her captivating presentations with and Strictly Business Body Language, this popular entertaining Ragin’ Cajun folkloric tales. Jan received speaker, distinguished educator, talk-show guest of her Bachelor’s degree, Master’s degree and Specialist The Lifetime Channel, Fox News, The Maury Povich degree in Business/Psychology from the University of Show, The Montel Williams Show, Great Day Houston, Louisiana at Lafayette. She is presently CEO of Jan E-Entertainment Television and The Ricki Lake Show, Hargrave & Associates, a Houston-based consulting describes for you all “hidden messages” you use in your firm, and served as an Adjunct Professor at the everyday life and shows you how to stop the lies and University of Houston for eight years. uncover the truth—in any conversation or situation. Nonverbal communication—“Body Language”— Working with thousands in the field of personal growth often communicates a different message from the and self-expression through seminars and workshops spoken word. Jan proves with her contagious warmth, for the past 10 years, Ms. Hargrave continues to wit, and humor that there is a method, and a style, to inspire many of today’s leading corporations, such as success. Bring your body, your curiosity, your sense of Lockheed Martin, Merrill Lynch, Starbucks, Rockwell, humor and learn what your body—and the body of ESPN, Sun Life Financial Distributors, Exxon, Chase others—is communicating to the world. Manhattan Bank, NASA, El Paso Energy, Bank of America, and at the USA MWR Training and Development Center in Heidelberg, Germany. Her expertise concerning nonverbal communication in the courtroom and witness preparation, plus her membership in the American College of Forensic Examiners, proves to be the topics of interest in her presentations to the Honolulu Police Department, the JAN HARGRAVE & ASSOCIATES Motivational/Educational Presentations www.janhargrave.com Author of: Let Me See Your Body Talk, Freeway Of Love, Judge The Jury, Strictly Business Body Language, and Poker Face. CEO of Jan Hargrave & Associates, a Houston-based consulting firm. Talk-show guest of: The Steve Harvey Talk Show The Montel Williams Show ABC News; Fox News The Maury Povich Show Great Day Houston The Learning Channel E! Entertainment Television Contributing author to: New York Post Golf Magazine The Forensic Examiner Cosmopolitan Magazine Redbook US Weekly In Touch Weekly Life Style Washington, D.C.’s People’s Voice Radio Credentials: Bachelor’s Degree, Master’s Degree, Education Specialists’ Degree from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Member of the American College of Forensic Examiners. Sample client list: Starbucks, Cisco Systems, Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceutical, The Boeing Company, MARS Chocolate, NASA Johnson Space Center, BlackRock Investments, Johns Hopkins Space Telescope Institute. UNDERSTANDING NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Jan Hargrave Shaking Hands A firm handshake indicates confidence. A limp handshake indicates a person who is ill at ease. Downward facing palms indicate control; upward facing palms show submissiveness. A double clasp (using both hands) indicates sincere feelings for another. Defensiveness Arms crossed on chest, scowl on face; also a sign of disagreement Closed fists; also a sign of nervousness Sitting with a leg over the arm of a chair; also a sign of indifference Crossed legs; moving of the crossed leg in a slight kicking motion signifies boredom or impatience Openness Open hands with palms facing upward A man, who is open or friendly and feels agreement is near will unbutton his coat and then take it off. Arms and legs not crossed Evaluation Hand-to-cheek gestures; an interested person will lean his body forward and slightly tilt his head. A critical evaluation is given when the hand is brought to the face, the chin is in the palm, the index finger is extended along the cheek, and the remaining fingers are positioned below the mouth. A head tilt is a definite sign of interest. Back and forth stroking of the chin signals a person who is deep in thought or seriously evaluating a situation. Direct eye contact indicates interest and a positive awareness of the speaker. Suspicion and Secretiveness Left-hand gestures are typically associated with dishonesty. A person who avoids eye contact while speaking is likely concealing information. Touching or rubbing the nose, usually with the left index finger, is a sign of doubt or non-truth on the part of the speaker. Rubbing behind or beside the left ear with the left index finger when weighing an answer, indicates doubt. Tugging at the left eye with the left index finger says, “Do not see very clearly what I’m saying, because I’m lying to you.” Fake cough or yawn; increased swallowing, increased face touching, mouth shrugs; all indicate unpleasant truths. Watch for an increase in emblems (gestures used in place of words); a decrease in illustrators (gestures used to illustrate speech) and an increase in manipulators (unnecessary gestures). Honesty/Trustworthiness Right hand over heart Palms-up gestures, uncrossed arms Direct eye contact Anchoring gestures Feet flat on floor or pointed toward target Frustration Short breaths; a person who is angry will take short breaths and expel air through his nostrils “Tsk”; the sound usually made to communicate disgust Tightly clenched hands Wringing of the hands Kicking the ground or an imaginary object while walking Confidence Steepling (hands or arms brought together to seemingly form a church steeple) Hands joined together at waist behind back Feet placed up on desk Erect posture, direct eye contact, genuine smile, no self touching Boredom Drumming on table Tapping with feet Head in hand Doodling Nervousness Clearing throat “Whew” sound Whistling Smoking cigarettes Fidgeting in a chair Tugging at pants while sitting Jingling money in pockets Tugging at ear Clenching fists Wringing of the hands Playing with pencils, notebooks, or placing eyeglasses in mouth Frequent self touching while speaking Avoiding eye contact or looking down Rocking, slouching, twisting hair Become a Skillful Communicator Perfect your handshake; always extend your hand first. Provide nonverbal feedback (nod, smile, mirror, vary vocal pitch) based on your meeting partner’s preferred learning style (visual, auditory, or action). Redirect questions if your meeting partner signals doubt—ask open questions, restate definites, and continue to display positive, supportive gestures. Create clear symmetry in your face and body; shoulders straight, weight balanced equally on both feet, arms to the sides. Use gestures to punctuate specific points; try to keep hands within an imaginary box that stretches from hipline to chin and shoulder to shoulder. Selected Bibliography: Eisenberg, Abne M. and Ralph R. Smith, Jr.: Nonverbal Communication, New York: The Bobbs-Merrill Company, Inc. 1971 Ekman, Paul: Telling Lies, New York: W.W. Norton, & Company, Inc. 1992, 1985 Fast, Julius: Body Language, New York: J.B. Lippincott, Inc. 1970 Hargrave, Jan L.: Let Me See Your Body Talk, Iowa: Kendall/Hunt, Inc. 1994 Freeway of Love, Iowa: Kendall/Hunt, Inc. 1999 Judge the Jury, Iowa: Kendall/Hunt, Inc. 2000 Strictly Business Body Language, Iowa, Kendall/Hunt, Inc. 2008 Knapp, Mark L.: Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction, New York: Holt, Rienhart, and Winston, Inc. 1972 Nierenberg, Gerald I., and Henry H. Calero: How to Read a Person Like a Book, New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc. 1971 Rosenthal, R. and L. Jacobson: Pygmalion in the Classroom, New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Winston, Inc. 1968 Jan Hargrave & Associates P.O. Box 460065, Houston, Texas 77056-8065 Tel: (713) 622-9400 * Fax: (713) 622-9401 www.janhargrave.com NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION REVIEW Message Sent and Received Body Movement _____ 1. Self-confident, proud A. Straddling chair, arms resting on back _____ 2. Thinking, evaluating B. Legs crossed, foot quickly kicking _____ 3. Superiority, readiness C. Steepling (holding fingertips together to resemble a church steeple) _____ 4. Defensive position D. Coat buttoned, hands in pockets, mouth turned downward _____ 5. Domineering E. Rubbing left eye and behind left ear with left index finger _____ 6. Openness F. Stroking chin _____ 7. Bored, impatient G. Wringing or clenching hands _____ 8. Dislike H. Hiding hands in pocket or behind back _____ 9. Self-control I. Leg over arm of chair _____ 10. Tension, pressure J. Locked ankles, clenched hands _____ 11. Indifference K. Chin thrust out, hands joined behind back _____ 12. Lying L. Shuffling along, hands in pocket, eyes on floor _____ 13. Authority M. Arms folded across chest _____ 14. Sincerity N. Palms up, extended outward _____ 15. Feeling guilty O. Right hand over heart _____ 16. Dejection P. Hands on hips Jan Hargrave www.janhargrave.com 713-622-9400 .