LONG.223X.cp15.213-228 7/13/06 11:07 AM Page 213 1515 Varying Your Sentences CULTURE NOTE Edgar Allan Poe Known as the father of modern mystery, Edgar Allan Poe entertained and disturbed readers through both poetry and prose. In famous stories such as “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “The Tel l - T ale Heart” and poems such as “Annabelle Lee” and “The Raven,” Poe includes elements of doppelganger (double), despair, and decay. Because his influence is so great, a current NFL team—the Baltimore Ravens—is named in his honor. Horror in Edgar Allan Poe OBSERVE YOUR WORLD Critically renowned, Edgar Allan Poe is famous for including elements of the macabre in his work. How popular ar e terrifying themes today? Pay attention to the subject matter of popular movies, television programs, and top news stories over the next few days. To what extent is horror or violence featured? Write a few sentences about whether or not you think people enjoy horror . 213 LONG.223X.cp15.213-228 7/13/06 11:07 AM Page 214 214 Part Three Writing Essays Recognizing Your Writing Style You may not realize it, but your writing has a style. Your style may be short, d i rect, and to the point, or it may be flowery, descriptive, and wandering. Whatever your style is, it’s yours alone. The style of writing is what makes people like to read it. If the words flow together seamlessly, and if the words and sentences are balanced between short and long ones, your writing will be more interesting to read. For instance, which of the two short para- graphs below is more enjoyable to read? Paragraph 1 Known as the father of modern mystery, Edgar Allan Poe enter- tains and disturbs readers through both poetry and prose. In famous stories such as “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “The Tell-Tale H e a rt” and poems such as “Annabelle Lee” and “The Raven,” Poe includes elements of doppelganger (double), despair, and decay. Because his influence is so great, a current NFL team, the Baltimore Ravens, is named in his honor. Paragraph 2 Edgar Allan Poe is known as the father of mystery. The mystery is modern. Poe entertains readers through poetry and prose. Poe disturbs readers through poetry and prose. Poe includes elements in famous stories. Poe includes elements in famous poems. The sto- ries are “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “The Tell-Tale Heart.” The poems are “Annabelle Lee” and “The Raven.” The elements are doppelganger (double), despair, and decay. Poe’s influence is great. A current team is named in his honor. The team is an NFL team. The team is the Baltimore Ravens. Paragraph 1 is more interesting. Even though both paragraphs use the same words, paragraph 1 has greater sentence variety. Paragraph 1 also connects ideas with conjunctions and dependent words. This chapter explores techniques you can use to make your writing mo r e balanced and varied. Specifically, you can use three strategies to make your sentences more interesting. ■ Adding an equally important idea (coordination) ■ Adding a less important idea (subordination) ■ Combining your sentences for brevity and variety LONG.223X.cp15.213-228 7/13/06 11:07 AM Page 215 Chapter 15 Varying Your Sentences 215 Coordination: Adding an Equally Important Idea Co o rd i n a t i o n is joining two complete, equally important ideas to form one sentence. If the sentences in a paragraph are all short, they will sound the same even if their content is diffe r ent. For instance, the following sentences ar e variations of sentences from a story by Edgar Allan Poe titled “The Cask of Amontillado.” Fortunato injured me. He insulted me. I tried to be patient. I vowed revenge. You probably have no trouble understanding these sentences. Each is a simple, correct sentence that communicates a single idea. Many developing writers actually try to write simple sentences to avoid making errors. While this strategy makes sense, it can lead to boring writing. To make your writing mo r e interesting, you can add a second simple sentence to the first. By doing so, you create a compound sentence, which joins two independent clauses. Notes on Style Although many styles of writing can be effective, choosing wh e n to use certa i n styles is important. Writing short, simple sentences works very well for children ’ s stories, but it is not the most effective way to communicate in college writing. Si m i l a r l y , a writer who uses long, difficult sentences to communicate will prob a - bly be more effective in reaching an audience of educated adults than in rea c h - ing young children or people unfamiliar with his or her subject. Consider the following revisions of the earlier sentences. Fortunato injured me, but I tried to ignore his harm. He insulted me, so I decided I would get even with him. I tried to be patient, or at least I told myself I was patient. I vowed revenge, and this vow made me happy. Each of these sentences contains the original idea expressed in the first simple sentence, but the writer has added another complete idea to each sentence. The result is four sentences that are more interesting to read. Remember that combining two complete ideas requires a comma and a coordinating conjunction (one of the FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so). For more on Coordinating Conjunctions, see Chapter 35. LONG.223X.cp15.213-228 7/13/06 11:07 AM Page 216 216 Part Three Writing Essays EXERCISE 1 C O O R D I N ATION: ADDING ANOTHER IDEA TO A SIMPLE SENTENCE Add a complete idea to each of the simple sentences below using a comma and one of the FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so). Answers will vary. Example: You should read some scary stories. You should read some scary stories, or you can see Revision: ______________________________________________a horror movie. 1. Studying can be interesting. Revision: _____________________________________________________Studying can be interesting, but it can also be boring. 2. I’m happy to be advancing to the next level. I’m happy to be advancing to the next level, for I’ve worked Revision: _____________________________________________________hard. 3. Registering for classes can be frustrating. Registering for classes can be frustrating, and it can take a long Revision: ______________________________________________________time. 4. Practice helps improve nearly any skill. Practice helps improve nearly any skill, but talent plays a role in Revision: ______________________________________________________success. 5. Watching television can be educational. Revision: ______________________________________________________Watching television can be educational, so I plan to watch often. EXERCISE 2 C O O R D I N ATION: COMBINING TWO E Q U A L LY IMPORTANT IDEAS Each item below contains two simple sentences. Combine the sentences into a single sentence using a comma and a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so). Answers will vary. Example: Edgar Allan Poe’s life was filled with sadness. His stories reflect his dark outlook on life. Combined: ______________________________________________Edgar Allan Poe’s life was filled with sadness, and ______________________________________________his stories reflect his dark outlook on life. 1. Poe’s father abandoned him when he was a baby. LONG.223X.cp15.213-228 7/13/06 11:07 AM Page 217 Chapter 15 Varying Your Sentences 217 His mother died before he was three. Combined: ____________________________________________________Poe’s father abandoned him when he was a baby, and his mother______________________________________________________________ died before he was three. 2. He was taken in as a foster child by a man named John Allan. He quarreled later in life with Allan. Combined: ____________________________________________________He was taken in as a foster child by a man named John Allan, but______________________________________________________________ he quarreled later in life with Allan. 3. Poe wanted to please his foster father. Poe also attended different colleges, including West Point. Combined: ____________________________________________________Poe wanted to please his foster father, so he attended different colleges,______________________________________________________________ including West Point. 4. Poe let himself be dismissed from West Point. He realized he would never be reconciled with his foster father. Combined: ____________________________________________________Poe let himself be dismissed from West Point, for he realized he would______________________________________________________________ never be reconciled with his foster father. 5. Poe went to live with his aunt. He married his thirteen-year-old cousin. Poe went to live with his aunt, and he married his thirteen- Combined: ____________________________________________________ year-old______________________________________________________________ cousin. Subordination: Adding A Less Important Idea Combining two equally important ideas is a good first step toward making your writing more interesting. Another technique to vary your sentences is s u b o rd i n a t i o n. S u b o rdination is the process of joining two ideas, but making one of them less important than the other. Specifically, subord i- nation involves making one idea an independent clause and the other a dependent clause (a group of words having a subject, verb, and a LONG.223X.cp15.213-228 7/13/06 11:07 AM Page 218 218 Part Three Writing Essays dependent word such as although, because, since, or u n t i l .) Though dependent clauses have a subject and a verb, they do not make sense all by themselves. Thus, they are less important than independent clauses in the same sentence. Common Dependent Words after before since until although even though though when because if unless while L e t ’s now use subordination to vary the simple sentences from earlier in the chapter. Fortunato injured me until I could stand it no longer.