JANUARY 2010 VOLUME 29 NUMBER 1 THE NEWSLETTER OF THE IN DE PEND ENT WRITERS OF CHICAGO EARS Stet 30 Y JANUARY MEETING FOR Introducing Twitterature: The Short of the Long of Lit BY DAVID EPSTEIN f you never could get eration? And what, to give (or, in Tweetish, #s—wch OMMUNITIES through the reading this a bit more focus, best savs 4 chars). Aciman and lists in college … If you expresses the souls of 21st Rensin blended Twitter with C I really want to clear five feet century Americans?” the Grt Wrks of Wrld Lit of dusty shelf space, but you Here’s and lo—they brought forth can’t bear to dump your a less Twitterature! Great Books set until you’ve exalted sce- An inspiration to more read them all … If you want nario: Two verbose to discover a creative short- University scribblers, cut to writing a best seller of Chicago Aciman and ATIONWIDE … Then you simply must sophomores Rensin have not miss IWOC’s January 12 Rensin are sitting in captured the N meeting, which will be the their dorm essence of very first stop on our speak- suite near midnight, after a the classics AND ers’ national book tour. grueling all-day study ses- Aciman in one 224- Alexander Aciman and sion. Finals start in two days, pg papbk Emmett Rensin, coauthors and their room is stacked (jst pub by Penguin on Dec of the just-released (in the floor to ceiling with thick 29)—at a mere 20 Tweets per U.S.) Twitterature: The World’s unread tomes of the world’s book. And all while master- Greatest Books Now Presented greatest literature. They ing demanding courses at In Twenty Tweets Or Less, will ask themselves: If verbose the University of Chicago. reveal their writing secrets. writing is so terrible, why You should see their term Their methods are way do great authors go on and papers—so quick’n’easy for HICAGOLAND more useful for writers than on—and on? their profs to grade! speed-reading and short- Like, instead of beat- Twitterature beats Reader’s C hand combined. ing around the bush, why Digest Condensed Books According to Aciman didn’t Dante just say, “I’m all hollow. Using narrative and Rensin, this is how havin’ a midlife crisis. Lost nanotechnology, more than Twitterature was born: in the woods. Shoulda 80 of the greatest heroes, vil- “Like any good revolution, brought my iPhone.” Why ERVING lains, and victims of western this one started in a college didn’t Milton’s Lucifer come literature—from Beowulf to S dormitory. Sitting in our straight to the point with: Virginia Wolf, with Kafka’s suite at the end of another “OH MY GOD, I’M IN giant cockroach squashed long day at the University of HELL”? And as for Virgil, in between—each shrink Chicago, we had an epipha- “Well, yeah, Rome coulda their stories into a series ny of the sort that many men been built in a day, but first, of 140-character tweets. wait for until their golden lemme tell ya … “ English teachers often praise years, and which for too Enter Twitter—the free Hemingway’s concise style, many others never comes web forum where we can but see how Aciman and before the grave. What, broadcast our deepest earth- Rensin have scaled down we asked, are the grandest shattering insights in <= ventures of our or any gen- 140 chars incldng spaces Continued on page 5. Independent Writers of Chicago Officers PRESIDENT’S COLUMN/ROGER RUEFF President: Roger Rueff 630/428-3857 [email protected] Executive Vice President: Catherine Rategan 312/266-8146 Treasurer: Special Relativity Barbara Dillard 312/642-3065 Secretary: Jennifer Lyng 773/769-5291 Parliamentarian: Harry Karabel 219/921-0877 very year about this stitutes your entire life. On miles from my house instead Board of Directors time, I find myself your second birthday, how- of on an isolated highway Charles Coffin 847/674-2906 E thinking, “Where did ever, it’s only half of your in Georgia or in the middle David Epstein 708/567-9705 that last year go? I turned life—so it seems shorter. of an Indiana snowstorm. Jim Hodl 773/777-5710 around and schwoop! It was Your third year spans merely The fact that I got to ring Joen Kinnan 708/366-8573 Danielle Schultz 847/864-2761 gone.” And every year, the a third of your life, and when in the new year with 14 feeling is slightly stronger you pass 50, each year is less good friends on the eastern Committees than it was the year before… than two percent of your shore of Lake Michigan Directory: and the one before that… life… which feels like not and to christen it with a Chair open. and before that. The years fly very much. champagne-laced kiss from Marketing: by, and the older I get, the It’s a good, sound theory my lovely fiancée. A recent Cathy Dusberger 312/382-1808 chair faster their wings seem to that makes as much uptick in writing work that Tom McCauley 224/636-7713 flap. I prefer to sense to might be a good and hope- Publicity: Michelle Beuscher 773/478-6778 chair take the me filled omen for 2010. Katherine Mikkelson 847/253-3681 positive now The year-ahead things Laura Stigler 773/248-0158 tack and as it have mostly to do with the Membership: assume did knowns of what’s on tap for Chair open. they’re 2010. The tour of my play in Jeff Steele 773/481-0010 Katie Valentino 630/946-9500 migrating Spain. Its opening in Lisbon Programs: to warmer and subsequent tour of Becky Maginn 773/935-8410 chair climes. Portugal. A writing project Social Media At the heart that will take me to Brussels Jay Rodriguez 312-515-9459 chair of this annual in the spring and Naples when Jim Kepler end-of-year after that. The premiere of I first Seminars: feeling is the a new play in Florida and Chair open. heard it. issue of time-scale per- another here in Chicagoland. Benefits: Is it true? Who knows? ception—why time seems to My son returning from a Chair open. In a broad sense, it works Writers’ Line: slip by more quickly as we year and a half away to well enough. Someone some- Dianne Rowland 630/834-0209 chair grow older. My first recol- attend college nearby. A where is probably right now Ellen Krupp 815/578-0295 lection of addressing that Cubs season without Milton Karleen McCallester 847/644-2524 penning a doctoral thesis question goes back to fourth Bradley in the outfield. on the matter, but until it’s grade and my science teach- A wedding in October. Web Site: www.iwoc.org published, reviewed, and Joen Kinnan, webmaster er, Mr. Johnson—a friendly, So much to plan on, hope accepted by the scientific [email protected] rational man against whom for, look forward to. So community, I’m sticking with my parents developed a deep much to look back on next Mr. Johnson as my expert. Stet is published 11 times per year grudge when they found out year at this time—as this He seemed ancient enough at by the Independent Writers of that he was teaching my old- year is carried away on the the time to have known what Chicago, PMB 119, 1800 Nations est brother that humans once wings of time. Drive, Suite 117, Gurnee, IL 60031, he was talking about. lived in trees… and I don’t Of course, like the impuri- 847/855-6670. Internet address: www. The other things I think iwoc.org. Copy submissions and mean the ones in the Garden ties in corundum that give about this time of year have advertising materials are due by the of Eden. Mr. Johnson had a sapphires their color, it’s to do with right now and the 15th of the month preceding pub- theory about why the years the unknowns that will ulti- lication. All submissions and ideas year ahead. The right-now seem to pass more quickly mately flavor the year ahead will be considered. The subscription things tend to take the form as we grow older—a theory and leave its final taste in rate of $1 per year is included in the of counted blessings. My annual membership dues. Copyright based on simple fractions. my mouth. Here’s hoping son and his girlfriend driv- ©2009 by Independent Writers of When you reach your first I embrace those, too… and Chicago. ing safely here from South birthday, he reasoned, the think of them as gems. Carolina for the holiday—his year that just passed con- Happy New Year. Editor: car breaking down a mere 10 Joen Kinnan Contributors: Dave Epstein, Richard Eastline, Joen Kinnan, Roger Rueff, Don Talend 2 NOVEMBER RECAP Your Website: If You Optimize It, They Will Come SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION (SEO) TIPS AND TRICKS TO GET TOP BILLING BY DON TALEND hen it comes to Why optimize site expo- “crawling” technology seeks ate buzz—and traffic, he helping the uni- sure? Grosspietsch displayed unique combinations of key- said. Press releases should W verse find one’s results from a 2007 survey words in ranking sites, he not begin with pedestrian website, Jim Grosspietsch indicating that SEO provides stressed. phrases such as “Company says don’t settle for second the biggest marketing “bang Grosspietsch urged attend- X is pleased to announce…,” best. At IWOC’s November for the buck.” He pointed ees to avoid using Flash however.