The Humourous Poetry of the English Language James Parton The Humourous Poetry of the English Language Table of Contents The Humourous Poetry of the English Language..................................................................................................1 James Parton..................................................................................................................................................2 PREFACE....................................................................................................................................................13 MISCELLANEOUS.................................................................................................................................................14 TO MY EMPTY PURSE.............................................................................................................................15 TO CHLOE..................................................................................................................................................16 TO A FLY,...................................................................................................................................................17 MAN MAY BE HAPPY. PETER PINDAR...........................................................................19 ADDRESS TO THE TOOTHACHE...........................................................................................................21 THE PIG......................................................................................................................................................22 SNUFF. ROBERT SOUTHEY...............................................................................................24 A FAREWELL TO TOBACCO. CHARLES LAMB............................................................25 WRITTEN AFTER SWIMMING FROM SESTOS TO ABYDOS............................................................29 THE LISBON PACKET. BYRON.........................................................................................30 TO FANNY. THOMAS MOORE..........................................................................................32 YOUNG JESSICA. THOMAS MOORE................................................................................33 RINGS AND SEALS. THOMAS MOORE..........................................................................34 NETS AND CAGES. THOMAS MOORE.............................................................................36 SALAD. SYDNEY SMITH....................................................................................................37 MY LETTERS. R. HARRIS BARHAM...............................................................................38 “Litera scripta manet.”—Old Saw..............................................................................................................39 THE POPLAR. R. HARRIS BARHAM.................................................................................42 SPRING......................................................................................................................................................43 ODE.............................................................................................................................................................45 SCHOOL AND SCHOOL−FELLOWS. W. MACKWORTH PRAED................................48 THE VICAR. W. MACKWORTH PRAED..........................................................................50 THE BACHELOR'S CANE−BOTTOMED CHAIR. W. M. THACKERAY........................53 STANZAS TO PALE ALE. PUNCH.....................................................................................55 “CHILDREN MUST BE PAID FOR.” PUNCH....................................................................56 [Illustration: William Cullen Bryant]...........................................................................................................57 TO THE LADY IN THE CHEMISETTE WITH BLACK BUTTONS. N. P. WILLIS........59 COME OUT, LOVE. N. P. WILLIS......................................................................................61 THE WHITE CHIP HAT. N. P. WILLIS...............................................................................62 YOU KNOW IF IT WAS YOU N. P. WILLIS.....................................................................63 THE DECLARATION. N. P. WILLIS...................................................................................64 LOVE IN A COTTAGE. N. P. WILLIS.................................................................................65 TO HELEN IN A HUFF. N. P. WILLIS...............................................................................66 THE HEIGHT OF THE RIDICULOUS. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES.........................67 THE BRIEFLESS BARRISTER. A BALLAD. JOHN G. SAXE..........................................68 SONNET TO A CLAM. JOHN G. SAXE Dum tacent CLAMant.........................................70 ......................................................................................................................................................................73VENUS OF THE NEEDLE.........................................................................................................................71 NARRATIVE............................................................................................................................................................74 TAKE THY OLD CLOAK ABOUT THEE...............................................................................................75 KING JOHN AND THE ABBOT. [AN OLD ENGLISH BALLAD—LONG VERY POPULAR.] PERCY RELIQUES..............................................................................................................77 THE BAFFLED KNIGHT, OR LADY'S POLICY [A VERY FAVORITE ANCIENT BALLAD.] PERCY RELIQUES..............................................................................................................80 TRUTH AND FALSEHOOD. A TALE. MATTHEW PRIOR...................................................85 i The Humourous Poetry of the English Language Table of Contents The Humourous Poetry of the English Language FLATTERY. A FABLE. SIR CHARLES HANBURY WILLIAMS........................................87 THE PIG AND MAGPIE. PETER PINDAR.........................................................................89 ADVICE TO YOUNG WOMEN, OR, THE ROSE AND STRAWBERRY. PETER PINDAR......................................................................................................................................................90 ECONOMY. PETER PINDAR..............................................................................................92 THE JEWESS AND HER SON...................................................................................................................93 THE COUNTBY LASSES. PETER PINDAR.......................................................................94 A STORY.....................................................................................................................................................95 THE PILGRIMS AND THE PEAS. PETER PINDAR..........................................................97 ON THE DEATH OF A FAVORITE CAT, DROWNED IN A TUB OF GOLDFISHES. THOMAS GRAY.......................................................................................................................................99 THE RETIRED CAT. WILLIAM COWPER.......................................................................101 SAYING NOT MEANING. WILLIAM BASIL WAKE.....................................................104 JULIA. SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE........................................................................106 A COCK AND HEN STORY. ROBERT SOUTHEY........................................................107 PART III....................................................................................................................................................112 PART IV....................................................................................................................................................114 [Illustration with caption: BURNS]...........................................................................................................118 THE SEARCH AFTER HAPPINESS; OR, THE QUEST OF SULTAUN SOLIMAUN. SIR WALTER SCOTT........................................................................................................119 THE DONKEY AND HIS PANNIERS. THOMAS MOORE.............................................127 MISADVENTURES AT MARGATE. A LEGEND OF JARVIS'S JETTY. B. HARRIS BABHAM.................................................................................................................................128 THE GHOST. R. HARRIS BARHAM.................................................................................131 A LAY OF ST. GENGULPHUS. R. HARRIS BARHAM..................................................138 SIR RUPERT THE FEARLESS. A LEGEND OF GERMANY. R. HARRIS BARHAM.................................................................................................................................................147 LOOK AT THE CLOCK. R. HARRIS BARHAM..............................................................156 [Illustration: LAMB.].................................................................................................................................164 THE BAGMAN'S DOG. R. HARRIS BARHAM................................................................165 It's a great many years ago—mine then were few— Since I spent a short time in