ENACTED IDENTITIES: A NARRATIVE INQUIRY INTO TEACHER WRITERLY BECOMING _______________________________________ A Dissertation presented to the Faculty of the Graduate School at the University of Missouri-Columbia _______________________________________________________ In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy _____________________________________________________ by CHRISTY GOLDSMITH Dr. Amy Lannin, Dissertation Supervisor MAY 2018 The undersigned, appointed by the dean of the Graduate School, have examined the dissertation entitled ENACTED IDENTITIES: A NARRATIVE INQUIRY INTO TEACHER WRITERLY BECOMING presented by Christy Goldsmith, a candidate for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy, and hereby certify that, in their opinion, it is worthy of acceptance. ________________________________________________________________ Professor Amy Lannin ________________________________________________________________ Professor Roy Fox ________________________________________________________________ Professor Carol Gilles ________________________________________________________________ Professor Lily Gurton-Wachter ________________________________________________________________ Professor Martha Townsend ii Acknowledgements I owe my largest debt of gratitude to my five committee members who, in varying stages of their own academic careers, undertook the time and effort to mentor me in my academic becoming. Dr. Amy Lannin, when I first approached you (in my typical panicky fashion) to ask if you’d become my committee chair in light of Dr. Fox’s retirement, you responded with your characteristic kindness and took me on even though you’d never had me as a student. In these last three years, you have generously involved me in every aspect of your work—the Campus Writing Program, the teaching of Reading and Writing in the Content Areas, and the Missouri Writing Project. You hastened my scholarly becoming by inviting me into these spaces and trusting my often hesitant expertise. More importantly, though, you demonstrated to me that there is room for kindness and scholarship in academia. You provided me models for dealing with students, colleagues, and peer reviews with grace. Every August, we talk about how much we miss public school teaching, and you remind me that I can—and should—still proudly wear the title of English Teacher. I’m so grateful that I get to continue learning from you post-PhD through our work in the Conley House. Dr. Roy Fox, it seems serendipitous that I arrived at the University of Missouri at the end of your tenure. How much I would’ve missed out on had I not had the opportunity to learn from you. You showed me that a serious scholar need not sound overwrought, and you led me to find my own writer’s voice in our Teaching, Reading, and Writing History course. I remember the first time I asked you if what I was doing was real research, and you responded, “Of course it is. What iii else would it be?” You provided me many models of scholarship, and I often hearken to Facing the Sky to remind me that, yes, I am doing real research here. Your comments on my dissertation work not only made me a better writer—they made me a better thinker. Thank you for mentoring me to the end. Dr. Carol Gilles, when you agreed to join my committee, I knew that you would help me remember what is most important about education scholarship—the students and teachers. Throughout our classes and work together, you encouraged me to create a research agenda which celebrates teachers. You’ll never know how much I valued our impromptu meetings in your office. Whether you were reassuring me that I was a strong candidate for a job or giving me tips on writing a section of this dissertation, I always knew that you supported me as a student, but more importantly, as a person. I tell every new doctoral student I meet that you are the best teacher in the College of Education. I have learned how to be a college professor from you. Dr. Lily Gurton-Wachter, when I stumbled into your Essay as Experiment class my first semester at MU, I had no idea that the ideas we explored would become instrumental not only to my doctoral study but also to my thoughts around writing—thoughts which ultimately lead to this dissertation topic. I was nervous to be an English Education PhD student surrounded by English literature PhD students, but you made it obvious that you valued my pedagogical knowledge and encouraged my education-centric approaches to literature. Thank you for asking me the good questions, for introducing me to Montaigne and Benjamin, and for finishing this journey with me. iv Dr. Marty Townsend, you are—without a doubt—my biggest cheerleader. My career trajectory would’ve been drastically different had I not met you during your last WAC/WID seminar. You provided me with the language of Writing Across the Curriculum and Writing in the Disciplines, and in doing so, you opened up an area of scholarship I didn’t know existed. Thank you for joining my committee even in your retirement and for constantly encouraging me to think bigger—and to think better of myself. To the five high school teachers who embarked on this work with me, I am eternally grateful. You let me into your histories and your classrooms, allowing yourselves to be honest and vulnerable in this strange space of research. I sincerely hope that I have completely and accurately shared your stories. Glen, after I met you, I knew my teaching would never be the same. There is no pair of colleagues who talk faster about more dense topics than us. You push me to answer the why questions, and you lead me to problematize all that I know to be true. You are my thought-leader in this work. Aspen, I will never forget your smiling face popping into my classroom on my first teacher workday. From the start, I was drawn to your kindness and your brilliance. Through our years of teaching together, working out together, and drinking together, you became one of my dearest friends. I am a better person because of your presence in my life and teaching. Sylvie, when you came to our school, I quickly knew I would learn more about teaching writing from you than you would from me. Your quiet presence and v creative approaches to Techniques of Writing gave me a model to follow. Thank you for embarking on this journey with me. Neal, I will never forget dragging you to meetings you’d otherwise miss or when you called me your “work wife” in front of the entire faculty. As a hesitant young teacher, you inspired me to think outside of the box. When you invited me into your home for dinner, you showed me what intellectual discourse looks like. Your impact on my teaching is immeasurable. To Ginny and Stu McMains, thank you for supporting me in each step of the last few years. Ginny, your thoughtful celebrations of even the smallest milestones encouraged me to keep going. Stu, your earnest questions about my research and teaching—and your celebration of the education profession—supported my scholarly becoming. You asked earnest questions, and you reminded me to be kind to myself. How lucky I am to have you as my second set of parents. Mom and dad, thank you for, well, for all of it. For indulging my love of reading, for supporting my dreams of becoming a teacher (even when some folks told me I was “too smart” to just be a teacher), and for holding my hand while I jumped into this unknown world of doctoral study four years ago. Even though I’m an only child, I’ve never felt alone because of the many books you surrounded me with and because I’m the sole recipient of your limitless love. Jacob, you are the reason I even made it this far. Actually, you’re the reason I even started this journey in the first place. When we met almost a decade ago, I mentioned to you my dream of “teaching English teachers how to teach,” and, throughout the years, you gently reminded me of this goal until five years ago, you vi badgered me into taking the plunge. When I came home from class my first semester in tears because I didn’t think I was smart enough to do this work, you mixed me a drink, gave me a hug, let me recover, and then told me to keep going. A year later, when I was throwing papers around my office in frustration over my statistics course, you mixed me a drink, gave me a hug, and then told me to keep going. This process has been a reoccurring cycle in our lives, and I’m eternally grateful for your love. I’ve almost made it, and I haven’t yet broken any dinner plates. Thank you and Beans for your patience, support, and mostly, for the cuddles. vii Table of Contents Acknowledgements ii List of Figures xix List of Tables xx Abstract xxi Chapter 1: Introduction to the Inquiry 1 Inquiry Rationale 2 Definitions of Terms 4 Teacher/Teacherly identity 4 Writer/Writerly Identity 5 Writer-Teacher/Teacher-Writer 6 Writer-teacher 7 Teacher-writer 7 Research Methodology 8 Research Questions 9 Participants and Data 11 Participant selection and recruitment 11 Data collection 12 Analyzing the Data 14 Conclusion 16 viii Chapter 2: Review of the Literature and Theoretical Framework 18 Literature as the Beginning of English Teachers’ Stories 19 Reading as transactional and transformative 20 Reading and identification 20 Reading and academic discourse 22 Reading/teaching connections 23 Breaking down binaries 24 The History of Narrative 25 Narrative ways of knowing 25 The narrative turn 26 Four themes of the narrative turn 27 Theme 1: A closer researcher/participant relationship 27 Theme 2: An expansion what counts as data