COMPASSION PRACTICE (FOUR IMMEASURABLES) SESSION 4: Exchanging Self With Others COURSE STRUCTURE Schedule 1. Mon Nov 23 – Loving-kindness (& dealing with attachment) 2. Wed Nov 25 – Compassion (& dealing with anger) 3. Wed Dec 02 – Empathetic joy & equanimity 4. Mon Dec 07 – Exchanging self with others 5. Wed Dec 09 – Tong-len (giving & taking) Recommended reading • Four Immeasurables – Alan Wallace • Buddhism with an Attitude – Alan Wallace MEDITATION Settling body, speech & mind SESSION 4: EXCHANGING SELF WITH OTHERS 1. Review 2. Bodhicitta 3. Meditation – great loving-kindness 4. Exchanging self with others 5. Meditation – disadvantages of self-cherishing 6. Dispelling misconceptions 7. Q&A 8. Dedication 1. REVIEW Two wings of practice Theravada Mahayana 1. Prajna (wisdom) – vipashyana 3 marks of existence emptiness 2. Upaya (method) – compassion 4 immeasurables bodhicitta Four Immeasurables 1. Loving-kindness (maitri) “May all living beings have happiness & it’s causes.” 2. Compassion (karuna) “May they be free of suffering & it’s causes.” 3. Empathetic joy (mudita) “May they never be separated from the happiness that is free from suffering.” 4. Equanimity (upeksha) “May they abide in equanimity, free of attachment & aversion to those near & far.” 1. REVIEW Compassion training • Four Immeasurables (foundation) 1. Loving-kindness Session 1 2. Compassion Session 2 3. Empathetic joy Session 3 4. Equanimity Session 3 • Exchanging self with others Session 4 (building on the foundation) • Tong-len (giving & taking) Session 5 • Dealing with attachment Session 1 • Dealing with anger Session 2 • Integrating into daily life Session 5 1. REVIEW “Those desiring to escape from suffering hasten right toward their own misery. And with the very desire for happiness, out of delusion they destroy their own well-being as if it were the enemy.” Shantideva (8C) Loving-kindness (Sanskrit: maitri; Pali: metta) • the wish/aspiration for ourselves & others to have happiness & it’s causes • 2 types of happiness – pleasure (temporal) & inner well-being (genuine) • causes of happiness – three higher trainings (ethics, concentration, wisdom) Compassion (Sanskrit & Pali: karuna) • the wish/aspiration for ourselves & others to be free of suffering & it’s causes • 3 types of suffering (duhkha) – suffering, change, all pervasive • causes of suffering – three poisons (ignorance, attachment, aversion) 1. REVIEW Attachment • definition of attachment: a mental factor that sees its object as attractive, exaggerates the object’s attractiveness and thus wishes to possess and hold it • 2 extremes – attachment & detachment (arising due to distorted view of reality) • middle way – non-attachment (ie. engaging without attachment) • dispelling misconceptions – need attachment to enjoy things, to have a relationship, to be creative Anger • definition of anger: a mental factor that sees its object as unattractive, exaggerates the object’s unattractiveness and thus wishes to harm the object • dispelling misconceptions – need anger, patience, compassion is sign of weakness • cognitive fusion – bad person vs person doing bad action 1. REVIEW Dealing with anger/attachment (also applies to other mental afflictions) 1. clear understanding of anger/attachment • what it is and how it leads to suffering 2. cultivating view of genuine happiness (preliminaries) • underlying source of suffering/happiness lies within the mind 3. using mindfulness (shamatha) • simply observing anger/attachment as it arises • and hence free of it (no power from its own side to harm us) • anger/attachment will simply dissipate by itself (not need to fight with it) 4. applying antidotes – eg. impermanence, emptiness (vipashyana) Practicing these methods in meditation and then applying them in daily life. 1. REVIEW Empathetic joy (Sanskrit & Pali: mudita) • the wish/aspiration for ourselves & others never to be separated from happiness (ie. a rejoicing in our own & others joys and virtue) • helps provide balanced view of ourselves and others • avoiding cognitive fusion (praising action not the person) Equanimity (Sanskrit: upeksha; Pali: upekkha) • the wish/aspiration for ourselves & others to abide in equanimity, free from attachment & aversion to those near & far (ie. an impartial/unbiased attitude) • now biased (attachment to friends, apathy to strangers, aversion to enemies) • basis for immeasurable loving-kindness, compassion & empathetic joy 1. REVIEW Dealing with near enemies (integrated approach) loving-kindness compassion (attachment) (despair) equanimity empathetic joy (indifference) (meaningless rejoicing) End of day review • one negative action –> regret, reliance, remedy & resolve (compassion) • one positive action –> rejoicing & resolve (empathetic joy & loving-kindness) • one thing you received –> gratitude (empathetic joy) 2. BODHICITTA Two wings of practice Theravada Mahayana 1. Prajna (wisdom) – vipashyana 3 marks of existence emptiness 2. Upaya (method) – compassion 4 immeasurables bodhicitta Door of entry 1. Dharma – refuge (3 Jewels – Buddha, Dharma, Sangha) 2. Theravada – renunciation (nihsarana – wish for liberation from suffering) 3. Mahayana – bodhicitta 4. Vajrayana – empowerment • basis is renunciation, bodhicitta & emptiness 2. BODHICITTA Bodhicitta (bodhi – enlightenment, citta – mind) • definition: aspiration for enlightenment for the benefit of others • basis is renunciation Two types of bodhicitta 1. aspiring (wishing to go) 2. engaging (actually going) – six perfections Two bodhicittas 1. Conventional – aspiration for enlightenment for the benefit of others 2. Ultimate – realization of emptiness sustained by conventional bodhicitta 2. BODHICITTA Two main methods to cultivate bodhicitta 1. Seven cause and effect 2. Equalizing and exchanging self with others Seven cause and effect 1. Seeing everyone as your mother (potential difficulties – rebirth, mother issues) 2. Remembering their kindness 3. Wishing to repay their kindness 4. Great loving-kindness 5. Great compassion 6. Altruistic intention 7. Bodhicitta 2. BODHICITTA Great loving-kindness “Why couldn’t all sentient beings have happiness & its causes?” (question) “May we all have happiness & its causes!” (aspiration) “I shall make it so!” (commitment) “May my guru and personal deity bless me that I may be able to do so.” (blessings) Great compassion “Why couldn't all sentient beings be free of suffering & its causes?” (question) “May we all be free of suffering & its causes!” (aspiration) “I shall make it so!” (commitment) “May my guru and personal deity bless me that I may be able to do so.” (blessings) 3. MEDITATION Great loving-kindness 4. EXCHANGING SELF WITH OTHERS Equalizing and exchanging self with others • exchanging the self-cherishing attitude with the attitude of cherishing others • self-cherishing = selfish, self-centered attitude that sees my happiness as more important than the happiness of others • transforms attachment & aversion into loving-kindness & compassion Five step process 1. Equalizing self with others 2. Reflecting on disadvantages of self-cherishing 3. Reflecting on advantages of cherishing others 4. Exchanging self with others 5. Tong-len (giving & taking) 4. EXCHANGING SELF WITH OTHERS 1. Equalizing self with others • we are all equal in wanting to be happy & wanting to be free from suffering 2. Disadvantages of self-cherishing • obsessed about my suffering –> fear, anxiety, stress (medical study), hypersensitivity, loneliness • obsessed about my happiness –> craving, frustration, dissatisfaction • exaggerated sense of self-importance –> lack of consideration/respect for others –> jealousy, competitiveness, arrogance • harming others who stand in the way of our happiness –> guilt, low self-esteem • biased attitude – attachment to friends, apathy to strangers, aversion to difficult people –> difficult to cultivate loving-kindness & compassion 4. EXCHANGING SELF WITH OTHERS 3. Advantages of cherishing others • not obsessed about my suffering –> lack of (fear, anxiety, stress, hypersensitivity, loneliness) • not obsessed about my happiness –> lack of (craving, frustration, dissatisfaction) • no exaggerated sense of self-importance –> consideration/respect for others –> helping others instead of jealousy, competitiveness, arrogance • not deliberately harming others in the pursuit of our happiness • unbiased attitude –> easier to cultivate loving-kindness & compassion for all 4. EXCHANGING SELF WITH OTHERS 4. Exchanging self with others • based on the understanding the disadvantages of self-cherishing and the advantages of cherishing others • when self-cherishing arises exchanging it with the attitude of cherishing others “When I am hungry give me someone that I can feed. And when I am thirsty give me someone who needs a drink. When I am cold give me someone to keep warm. And when I grieve give me someone to console.” (Mother Theresa) “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” (Einstein) 5. Tong-len (giving & taking) – next session • imagining taking on the suffering of others & giving them our happiness 5. MEDITATION Disadvantages of self-cherishing 6. DISPELLING MISCONCEPTIONS Three common misconceptions 1. “If I just cherish others won’t people just take advantage of me.” • compassion without wisdom –> getting taken advantage of • compassion + wisdom –> not allowing this to happen 2. “Won’t I just end up with compassion burnout.” • compassion burnout is actually empathy burnout (Matthieu Ricard article) • empathy without wisdom (empathic distress) –> burnout • empathy + wisdom