The Informer Cistercian Preparatory School Volume 46, Issue 5 3660 Cistercian Rd. Irving Tx 75039 January 2015 How to Build a Snowman: Texas Edition It is that time of year again, when the trees have no leaves Blame Global Warming—the polar ice maps are melting (which and the chilly, winter air has often forced us to stay inside and means the polar bears can’t find their way around town anymore) huddle together like penguins. The best thing about this season is, and C levels are rising (which means you need to study harder to of course, snow! The only bad thing about snow is that we never get at least a B-minus). Gone are the days when Texans could go get any. But have hope, because here at the Informer we are all outside after it snowed and scrape together a tiny snowball from about making the best out of what we have! We’ve come up with a the thin layer of frost that accumulated through the night. Re- few ways you can make a snowman this winter season using easily member: Suffering is redemptive, and we must suffer under clear accessible materials: blue skies while all those New Yorkers get to enjoy three feet of snow per day. Method 1: Import Snow from New York I hope that you, dear readers, have found these methods to Pull out your wallets, dear readers, because shipping & be incredibly helpful in solving the problem that is Texas snow (or handling is going to cost a bit. Those Yankees have more snow lack thereof). The Informer is not responsible if you cannot find than they can handle, so why not get a few dozen crates of snow your rogue Yankee snowmen, overdose on imagination, are not off Broadway? Right now, they are keeping all of the blizzards enchanted by pseudo-snow, or release an excessive amount of liq- and snowstorms to themselves—don’t you think that they should uid sadness from your eyes. If you are still bored, go read a book. share? Warning: If you build a snowman out of snow from New After all, having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card. York, it will develop a taste for three-million-dollar apartments, it will never say “good morning”, “excuse me” or “thank you”, it will -William Song ‘15 claim that your pizza is not real pizza, and it will grow a scraggly wants to thank the beard and wear thick-rimmed glasses while judging you for having Academy and Mr. Joseph clothes and gadgets that are too mainstream. Method 2: Imagination Who needs real snow? Simply go outside and pretend that all of the dirt and mud around you is slightly-discolored snow. With a shovel and the right attitude, you will have built a not- actually-made-of-snow snowman in no time! You will find that a snowman made of dirt is just as easy to make, lasts twice as long, and is three times as eco-friendly as a real snowman! Just make sure you get permission before you dig up your neighbors’ lawns for resources (and if they ask, tell them it’s for Science). Method 3: Real Science If Bill Nye the Science Guy has taught us anything, it is that science rules. Drop by your location marketplace or chemistry lab and pick up a few hundred pounds of Sodium Polyacrylate salt. Spread it over your yard and then spray water all over it. Then, for reasons that are above my pay grade, the Sodium Polyacrylate will absorb the water, expand, and become artificial snow! Scoop up that science-magic and enjoy! Method 4: Let It Go Do you want to build a snowman? Yes? Well, too bad, be- cause the harsh reality is that you will never ever see snow again. InsIde Scott Sklar ‘15 discusses the end Joshua Maymir ‘15 and Max William Song ‘15 interviews Pokemon of the Cowboys’ season and recaps Schommer ‘15 throw down over master Pearce Blend ‘16 about the season as a whole on page 4 Affirmative Action on page 7 his recent tournament on the back Page 2 Muckracker The Informer January 2015 Earthquakes in Irving On May 22, 1960, a massive earthquake wrecked Valdivia, The Muckracker Chile and surrounding cities. Measuring at 9.5 on the Richter scale, this was the largest earthquake ever recorded. Even this earth- quake’s foreshocks and aftershocks were massive, measuring at 7.0 The coming of the New Year has brought many on the Richter scale on average. Recently, Irving, Texas has also had expectations, hopes, and earthquakes. As you make your its fair share of earthquakes. Of course, these earthquakes have only way through the third quarter, take a gander at this new measured around 2.5 on the Richter scale, the strongest one being a and brilliant issue of the Informer! Read the intense 3.6. Irving has had about 21 earthquakes in the last month, and 48 discussion between my fellow editor and another senior earthquakes in the last year, according to earthquaketracker.com. about affirmative action and all the sports news that I am These statistics show a worrying increase of earthquakes in the last definitely aware of. Ever wonder what your classmates’ month. In fact, according to ABC 13, the USGS (U.S. Geological Survey) has decided to increase the surveyed risk for earthquakes New Year’s resolutions were, or how you can actually in North Texas and to add earthquakes believed to be caused by build a snowman in Texas? We have all the answers, as human actions on its National Seismic Hazard Map. According to always. Tune in next month for stories about Valentine’s ABC 13, “Southern Methodist University seismologists have linked Day, Fig Newtons, and the true meaning of life. two local earthquake clusters with wastewater injection wells, where companies dispose of chemical-laced fluids used in the hydrau- lic fracturing process. One cluster began in 2008 near Dallas-Fort William Song Worth International Airport. The second occurred near Cleburne in 2009.” According to CBS Local, ““There is evidence that some A new year means a new issue of your favorite central and eastern North America earthquakes have been triggered newspaper with a new sudoku and a new prize for the or caused by human activities that have altered the stress condi- first to solve it. It means new resolutions, new ways to tions in earth’s crust sufficiently to induce faulting,” USGS said, in build snowman, new perspectives on affirmative action, a statement. “Activities that have induced felt earthquakes in some and afterthoughts on a couple of big games. So we, the geologic environments have included impoundment of water be- hind dams, injection of fluid into the earth’s crust, extraction of editors, writers, and editors’ assistants, invite you to fluid or gas, and removal of rock in mining or quarrying opera- enjoy the our newest edition of the Informer. tions.” In short, most people think that the recent earthquakes have been caused by fracking, or the use of highly pressurized liquids Joshua Maymir to crack layers of shale beneath the earth to release natural gas. Of course, the USGS has also said that the link between these two phe- nomenons has not been proved and that further study is necessary. Regardless of what causes the earthquakes, we can be sure that they Do you have a poll idea? A suggestion for Informer will keep occurring and that they present little to no danger to those Rates? A better way to build a snowman or a comeback who live in the area. to a writer’s zinger of your football team? Tell us about -Alonso Medina ‘18 desperately wants it! Email the editors at [email protected] Best Costume Design or tweet your response @cpsinformer. And while you’re on twitter, follow us. We’re not desperate. We just need February Calendar Tuesday 3rd Swimming @ Green- Monday 9th some friends. Anyone besides Phong. 7th White/Black/ hill JV Soccer @ ESD 8th B Basketball @ St. Marks Friday 6th Tuesday 10th 7th/8th Soccer @ 8th Basketball @ 7th White/Black/8th St. Marks SPC North Tourna- /8th B/9th/JV Bas- 9th/JV/V Basketball ment ketball vs HSAA vs St. Marks JV/V Basketball vs V Basketball vs JV/V Soccer vs Casady CHANT faculty advisors/ St. Marks 9th/V Soccer vs THE INFORMER writers censors Joshua Maymir 15 Jason Joseph ‘32 Casady Thursday 12th STAFF William Song ‘15 Wednesday 4th V Basketball/Soccer Aidan Noel ‘15 9th Soccer vs Trinity Jack Chadwick ‘15 Saturday 7th @ Winter SPC Chief editors Scott Sklar ‘15 Valley 8th Basketball @ William Song ‘15 Phong Nguyen ‘15 JVB Basketball vs SPC North Tourna- Friday 13th Joshua Maymir ‘15 William Henry ‘16 THESA Luke Maymir ‘17 ment Upper School Recess Emmanuel Adesanya ‘17 JV/V Basketball vs V Basketball/Soccer Layout editor Alonso Medina ‘18 Thursday 5th Holland Hall Carson Ariagno ‘15 Will Novinski ‘18 Je suis Charlie @ Winter SPC Matthew Sawtelle ‘19 8th Basketball @ V Soccer vs Holland Peter Novinski ‘21 DFW Classic Hall Monday 16th Sports editor Admissions Testing Scott Sklar ‘15 8th Soccer vs All Winter Break photographers Saints & artists Politcs editor John Dudasko ‘15 Scott Sklar ‘15 Fr. Anthony Will Novinski ‘18 Exodus Staff Asistant to Write for the Infomer! Middle School editor Don Painter Photography the editors Matthew Sawtelle ‘19 Phong Nguyen ‘15 Email [email protected] with any article submissions. Chances are you’ll see them in the next issue. That includes you, Middle Schoolers! Page 3 Columns The Informer January 2015 You know that you yourself exist because “cogito ergo sum.” But can you prove if anyone else exists? No! By The Numbers Win it with What if they’re all just figments of your imagination? Nguyen Why should you be the one who must change and better yourself? You could easily be the only intelligent being that exists.