Chapter 1 Discovering Relaxation In This Chapter ▶ Uncovering the basics of relaxation ▶ Seeing how relaxation benefits all aspects of your life ▶ Making relaxation part of your daily routine he phrase ‘just relax’ sounds so simple. To relax you really just need to Tstop ‘doing’. And yet ‘stopping doing’ is easier said than done. Your life has probably got more demanding over time. In those few moments that you have for yourself, relaxation may seem elusive. You may ask yourself ques- tions like ‘How do I relax?’, ‘What’s the best way to relax?’ or ‘Why am I so stressed all the time?’ In this chapter, I help you begin your journey from anxiety and worry to dis- covering ways to find greater ease and peace in your life. Understanding Relaxation Relaxation is a state of mental calm and focus, free from unnecessary bodily tension. Relaxation is associated with a feeling of peace and tranquillity. You can achieve greater relaxation in two main ways: ✓ Using relaxation techniques, such as meditation, progressive relaxation or guidedCOPYRIGHTED imagery. MATERIAL ✓ Doing relaxation activities, such as taking a bath, going for a walk, improving your time management skills or playing a sport. Relaxation techniques reduce your stress and put you into a state of body and mind where you’re deeply relaxed. This effect is called the relaxation response and is the opposite of feeling stressed. When your relaxation response is turned on, positive changes take place in your body and mind. You’re better able to digest food and fight disease. You feel calm and at peace. 006_9781119999096-ch01.indd6_9781119999096-ch01.indd 9 111/21/111/21/11 22:04:04 PPMM 10 Part I: Introducing Relaxation Relaxation activities help to reduce stress rather than put you into a state of relaxation. Most relaxation activities don’t engage your relaxation response unless they encourage a calm focus of your attention, such as stroking a cat or doing a hobby that requires gentle attention. You may not be good at relaxing at the moment, but you can definitely get better at relaxation. Relaxation is a skill and improves with practice. Learning relaxation techniques requires some time and effort, and you get the hang of them through trial and error, just like learning anything new. Most people say activities like watching TV, having a cup of tea and chatting to a friend are relaxing. These activities do reduce stress and are certainly valuable, but they don’t turn on your relaxation response so they’re stress- reducing but not deeply relaxing. The state of relaxation isn’t sleeping. If you use a relaxation technique and you fall asleep, that’s fine but after you fall asleep, you don’t get any better at relaxing – you’re just asleep. In true relaxation you feel calm and free of ten- sion, but quite focused too. Living a relaxed lifestyle requires relaxing activities, regular practice of relax- ation techniques and a relaxed attitude, as I show in Figure 1-1. Attitude Components Figure 1-1: of Relaxation Three com- ponents of a relaxed lifestyle. Techniques Activities Discovering the relaxation response When you’re stressed, your body turns on your stress response (see Chapter 2). Your blood pressure rises and your body prepares to run or fight. This is 006_9781119999096-ch01.indd6_9781119999096-ch01.indd 1010 111/21/111/21/11 22:04:04 PPMM Chapter 1: Discovering Relaxation 11 a process that’s automatic and hard-wired in your body once triggered. No effective drug currently exists to counteract the harmful effects of chronic stress, so the best way to counteract stress with no known side effects is to regularly elicit your relaxation response. The relaxation response is the opposite of the stress response. It is also automatic once triggered in the brain, releasing chemicals in your body that counteracts the stress response. When your relaxation response is activated, the following changes take place in your body and mind: ✓ Your muscles relax. ✓ Your blood pressure goes down. ✓ Your breathing slows down. ✓ You use less energy. The part of your nervous system that controls stress and relaxation is called the autonomic nervous system. This system controls your heart rate, diges- tion, breathing rate, salivation, perspiration, pupil size, libido and urination. Some of these things are partly under your direct control, such as breathing, but some aren’t, such as your pupil size and perspiration. The autonomic nervous system has two sides: one side causes you to be stressed, and the other side causes you to relax: the sympathetic nervous system triggers your stress response – it’s like your accelerator. The para- sympathetic nervous system triggers your relaxation response – it’s like your brake. The relaxation techniques in this book are designed to turn down the stress response, controlled by your sympathetic nervous system, and turn up your relaxation response, controlled by your parasympathetic nervous system. You can think of these two systems as sides of a seesaw, as I show in Figure 1-2. The purpose of relaxation is to bring your seesaw back into balance. If you’re too stressed at the moment, by putting in some relaxation techniques or doing your everyday activities with a more relaxed attitude, these will help to bring greater ease in your life. Nobody is perfectly balanced all of the time. That’s unnatural and an unhelp- ful aim to have. However, you can become better at noticing when you’re leaning too far towards stress, and discover ways to shift the balance back, quickly and effectively. Using unhelpful coping strategies to manage your stress, such as isolating yourself, ignoring your problems or drinking exces- sive alcohol can end up leaning you further towards stress. 006_9781119999096-ch01.indd6_9781119999096-ch01.indd 1111 111/21/111/21/11 22:04:04 PPMM 12 Part I: Introducing Relaxation RELAXATION Parasympathetic nervous system Switches on your: Relaxation Response STRESS Making you feel more: Using relaxation techniques and relaxed activities can help you Sympathetic to find balance in your nervous system life if you’re too Figure 1-2: stressed. Switches on your: The Stress Response autonomic nervous Making you feel more: system balances stressed between stress and relaxation. Benson, father of the relaxation response Herbert Benson MD, pioneer in mind–body Benson discovered the relaxation response medicine, coined the term ‘relaxation response’ because he was repeatedly approached by in the 1970s. Interestingly, he discovered the meditators using a technique called transcen- relaxation response in the exact same room in dental meditation (TM). When he finally agreed which Walter Cannon discovered the fight-or- to test them, which he was nervous about flight (stress) response 50 years earlier! because he was a respected Harvard scien- tist and didn’t want to get a reputation of being The stress response takes place when a part of associated with esoteric ideas, he discovered the brain called the hypothalamus is stimulated. that the meditators did relax well. They man- Benson found that when a different part of the aged to reduce their blood pressure. But the brain was activated, the opposite of the stress meditation used a secret word, called a mantra. response occurred. He described the relaxation He tried the technique with a different word but response as ‘a physical state of deep rest that the effect was the same. He eventually found changes the physical and emotional response to that any word, phrase or object that you focus stress, such as lowered heart rate, blood pres- on with a passive attitude could trigger the sure, muscle tension, and rate of breathing.’ relaxation response. 006_9781119999096-ch01.indd6_9781119999096-ch01.indd 1212 111/21/111/21/11 22:04:04 PPMM Chapter 1: Discovering Relaxation 13 Figure 1-3 shows the different functions that the autonomic nervous system controls, and what happens when the stress response or the relaxation response are triggered. Effect of Effect of Relaxation Response Stress Response Parasympathetic Sympathetic Nervous System Nervous System Reduces pupil Enlarges to normal size pupil Stimulates Reduces flow flow of saliva of saliva Slows Accelerates heartbeat heartbeat Constricts Dilates bronchi bronchi Stimulates Inhibits peristalsis peristalsis and secretion and secretion Figure 1-3: The Releases autonomic Stimulates release of bile sugar into nervous bloodstream system, showing the Secretion of effects of adrenaline and the stress Contracts bladder noradrenaline response and the relaxation Inhibits response. bladder contraction 006_9781119999096-ch01.indd6_9781119999096-ch01.indd 1313 111/21/111/21/11 22:04:04 PPMM 14 Part I: Introducing Relaxation Considering different dimensions of relaxation You can think of relaxation in three dimensions – body, mind and spirit, as I show in Figure 1-4. Effective relaxation operates on all three dimensions. Each of the dimensions is like the legs of a three-legged stool. The stool is balanced in the way that your life feels. If you took a leg out, the stool would be unbalanced. In the same way, if you didn’t give each dimension your proper attention, your life would feel out of balance and stress would creep in more easily. ✓ Physical relaxation (body): Using techniques to ease the tension from your body. ✓ Psychological relaxation (mind): Using ways of calming your mind, reducing anxiety. ✓ Holistic relaxation (spirit): Reflecting on your own meaning and pur- pose in life, living your life according to your own values, feeling as if you’re making a positive contribution in the world, and developing a sense of ‘wholeness’ in your life. Spirituality certainly does not require a religious belief. Physical Three Dimensions Figure 1-4: of Relaxation The three dimensions of relax- ation. Psychological Holistic Looking at the main ways to relax In this section, I give a brief overview of the main techniques you can use to relax your body, mind and spirit.