Non-Monogamies and the Space of Discourse Theorizing the Intersections of Non/Monogamy and Intimate Privilege in the Public Sphere Nathan Rambukkana A Thesis In the Department of Communication Studies Presented in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements For the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy at Concordia University Montréal, Québec, Canada January, 2010 © Nathan Patrick Rambukkana, 2010 Library and Archives Bibliothèque et 1*1 Canada Archives Canada Published Heritage Direction du Branch Patrimoine de l'édition 395 Wellington Street 395, rue Wellington Ottawa ON K1 A 0N4 Ottawa ON K1A 0N4 Canada Canada Your file Votre référence ISBN: 978-0-494-67364-5 Our file Notre référence ISBN: 978-0-494-67364-5 NOTICE: AVIS: The author has granted a non- L'auteur a accordé une licence non exclusive exclusive license allowing Library and permettant à la Bibliothèque et Archives Archives Canada to reproduce, Canada de reproduire, publier, archiver, publish, archive, preserve, conserve, sauvegarder, conserver, transmettre au public communicate to the public by par télécommunication ou par l'Internet, prêter, telecommunication or on the Internet, distribuer et vendre des thèses partout dans le loan, distribute and sell theses monde, à des fins commerciales ou autres, sur worldwide, for commercial or non- support microforme, papier, électronique et/ou commercial purposes, in microform, autres formats. paper, electronic and/or any other formats. The author retains copyright L'auteur conserve la propriété du droit d'auteur ownership and moral rights in this et des droits moraux qui protège cette thèse. Ni thesis. Neither the thesis nor la thèse ni des extraits substantiels de celle-ci substantial extracts from it may be ne doivent être imprimés ou autrement printed or otherwise reproduced reproduits sans son autorisation. without the author's permission. In compliance with the Canadian Conformément à la loi canadienne sur la Privacy Act some supporting forms protection de la vie privée, quelques may have been removed from this formulaires secondaires ont été enlevés de thesis. cette thèse. While these forms may be included Bien que ces formulaires aient inclus dans in the document page count, their la pagination, il n'y aura aucun contenu removal does not represent any loss manquant. of content from the thesis. ¦+¦ Canada p? Abstract Non-Monogamies and the Space of Discourse: Theorizing the Intersections of Non/Monogamy and Intimate Privilege in the Public Sphere Nathan Rambukkana, Ph.D. Concordia University, 2010 This dissertation uses genealogical discourse analysis to unpack recent Western conceptions of monogamy and non-monogamy in the public sphere. Beginning from the premise that discourses surrounding monogamy and non-monogamy (taken together as a system of non/monogamy) have come into particular prominence in recent years, this dissertation deploys a thread of queer theory focused on the study of broader conceptions of "intimacy" to explore the ramifications of such a prominence in the public sphere. More specifically, drawing on theorizations of spatiality (Temporary Autonomous Zones, Mapping/Reterritorialization, Heterotopia) and the concept of "privilege", I formulate the theoretical lens of "intimate privilege" to explore how non/monogamy is distributed throughout, takes up, and creates forms of intimate space. In exploding the overly-simple notion that monogamous sexuality is societally privileged, while non-monogamies are marginalized, I show how while there is a societal meta-narrative that centres monogamy, it is really the intersectionality of non/monogamy with other forms of privilege/oppression that truly locates a subject practicing (or connected to) non-monogamous intimacy as having intimate privilege, defined as the emergent state in which one's intimacies hold societal privilege. Engaging in theoretical and discursive analyses of the contemporary public sphere presences of three major forms of non-monogamy (adultery, polygamy and polyamory) through texts such as journalistic articles, policy documents, self-help literature, television iv programs and Internet sites, I continue the academic discussion surrounding non- monogamies that is just beginning to come into its own in the fields of social science and humanities, as well as to complicate less-nuanced discourses on non/monogamy that are circulating more broadly in the public sphere. V Acknowledgements This would not have been possible without the many people and organizations who have helped, pushed, prodded, listened, read, put up with, edited, funded, accepted, inspired, enraged, frustrated, cooked, leant, shared and informed in multiple senses and capacities throughout the research and writing of this project. Though too numerous to thank individually, you all know who you are, and this exists because of you. In particular I would like to thank my supervisor Dr. Chantal Nadeau, who I am thoroughly convinced never stopped thinking about my project and turning the pieces over and over in her mind since the day I pitched it to her so many years ago. Chantal, your insights were always spot on, well thought through and productive, even when delivered by video link from an entirely different country. It was an honor to be one of your academic "children", thank you! I would also like to thank the rest of my inspiring defence committee, Drs. Maria Nengeh Mensah, Gada Mahrouse, Line Grenier and Monika Kin Gagnon. Nengeh, it was exciting to meet you and hearing you put my work in your words has sparked entirely new directions of inquiry for me. Gada, my frustration at having not discovered your writing on privilege in time to mobilize its insights has been swept away by the satisfaction of being able to engage with them now. Line, you have been there throughout my time in the Joint Ph.D. in so many ways, thank you. And Monika, thank you for visiting me in Toronto when I was feeling estranged from Concordia and worried that I would never get the project finished, and for taking on all the bureaucratic arrangements for getting me to defence, and for everything else you have done over the years to help and support me. I would also like to specifically thank my family members, both old and new, for supporting me in countless ways throughout the years. And finally I would like to thank my partner Zahra Murad, without whose insights and patience this project would have never taken its current shape, let alone been finished. I would also like to acknowledge the support of Concordia University, the Social Science and Humanities Research Council of Canada (SSHRC) and the Fonds Québéquois de la Recherche sur la Société et la Culture (FQRSC) who collectively provided financial support for this project. Vl Dedication For my Mother, who taught me about feminism, for my Father, who was always there, for my Grandmother, who always believed in me, and for Zahra, who taught me to be critical. Vil Table of Contents List of Figures x Introduction: Non/Monogamy and Intimacy in the Public Sphere 1 /- contextuahzing the cusp ».... 1 Unpacking Non-Monogamy 5 Problematic, Argument, and Methodological Trajectory 7 Theoretical Positioning: Queer Theory, Intimacy, Non/Monogamy and The Public Sphere 12 Queer Theory and the Exploration ofIntimacy 12 The Non/Monogamy System 17 The Intimate Public Sphere 20 II- Breakdown of Chapters 22 Chapter 1 The Space of Privilege: Situating Non/Monogamy and Intimate Privilege 27 Introduction: The Fluid Relation of Non-Monogamy and Privilege 27 The Logic of Privilege and the Dynamics of Space 31 Privilege, Intimacy and Space in the Public Sphere 51 Non/Monogamy and Intimate Privilege: The Angba Case Revisited 53 Chapter 2 The Adultery Industry: Autonomy, Heteronormativity and the Political Economy of Cheating 66 Introduction: Pro-Adultery Discourse in the Intimate Public Sphere 66 Intimacy and Space Revisited: Space Creating Intimacy 70 The Industrial Production of Infidelity, and Heteronormative Capitalist Autonomy 72 viii Pro-Adultery Discourse and the Language of Affairs 85 J- "The Fashionable Vice": OnKipnis's Against Love 87 II- "How Best to Stray So You Don 't Have to Pay": On Brandt's The 50 Mile Rule 96 III — "When Monogamy Becomes Monotony": On AshIeyMadison.com 105 Autonomous Capitalist Individualism as Privileged Intimacy 114 Chapter 3 Overdetermining the Map of Polygamy: The Discursive Reterritorialization of Plural Marriage 118 Introduction: Approaching Polygamy Through Theory 118 On Maps, Discourse and Overdetermined Reterritorialization 123 The Discursive Reterritorializing of Polygamy in the Public Sphere 130 I- The Figure ofthe "Slippery Slope" in Polygamy and Same-Sex Marriage Discourse 133 II- Overdetermination in Coverage ofBountiful, B.C. and the FLDS Custody Battle 142 III - Primetime Polygamy: Unpacking Big Love's Prominence in the Public Sphere 160 Reframing the Polygamy Debate 168 Chapter 4 The Fraught Promise of Polyamory: Is "Responsible Non- Monogamy" a New Intimate Ethics or Heterotopian Enclave? 171 Introduction: Challenging the Notion of a Universifiable PoIy Ethics 171 On Heterotopian Space, Difference and the Politics of the Enclave 176 Intersections in Non-Monogamous Space: Polyamory, Polygamy and Adultery in the Intimate Public Sphere 184 IX Polyamory Through a Lens of Intimate Privilege: Challenging the Politics of the Heterotopia as Enclave 191 I- Problematizing Heinlein 's Stranger in a Strange Land as Precursor to Poly Discourse 194 Z/- Unpacking "The Bible ofPolyamory": Reading Ethical Slut Against the Grain 205 III - Between Privilege and Marginalization: Reading the Polyamorous Public Sphere 216 Towards Spaces of Anti-Oppressive Heterotopian Polyamory 223 Conclusion: Non/Monogamy, Privilege and the Space of Discourse 225 Lines of Flight: Directions for Future Research 234 Final Thoughts 240 Works Cited 243 Appendix A: Expanded List of Engagements with Non-Monogamy in the Public Sphere 287 Appendix B: Samples of Ashley Madison Agency Advertising 295 Appendix C: Canada's Criminal Code (C.26) Statutes Regarding Bigamy and Polygamy 298 X List of Figures Fig 1. "Ashley Madison Banner Ad." 109 Fig 2. "Ashley Madison Affiliates Advertisement." 295 Fig 3. "Ashley Madison Print Ad 3." 296 Fig 4.