09-10_facebook:a_chandler_kafka 2/13/2011 8:45 PM Page 9 SUNSTONE nephi’s facebook Search LEHI: Wow, crazy dream last night. Midnight LAMAN: kind of likes it in the desert. The pickles or revelation? bugs, the heat, the cold, the lack of food. Yeah. I could get used to this. LAMAN: Great. Dad’s got that look in his eye, LAMAN: WTFLIP? Dad wants me to be like unto again. Grab the nearest heresy, and hang on! a river???? LEHI: took the LEMUEL: Dad wants me to be like unto a valley. “What Kind of LAMAN: Rivers are better than valleys. Prophet Are LEMUEL: Nuh uh! Rivers are dumb! You?” quiz. LAMAN: Rivers MAKE valleys, stupid. Without me, you’d be NOTHING! My result: The Kind of Prophet LEMUEL: My valley caves in on your Who Needs an Entire Flippin’ river, and you DIE! Continent to Himself. LAMAN: Jerk. LEMUEL: Loser. Sheesh, have you no people skills? Even if your whole city is going to be destroyed because of wickedness, surely you could SARAI: Forgot the plates. Now what will we eat sugarcoat the message a little. You should really go live som on? place without people. Preferably on the other side of the planet. SARAI: is wishing U-Haul operated out of LEHI: Forgot the plates. Now what will I read? Jerusalem. NEPHI: Should I pack my dumbbells? LAMAN: Why? Aren’t you enough? LAMAN, LEMUEL, and SAM LEMUEL: LOL! joined NEPHI’S Robbers. They are looking for: LEHI: changed his residence to “tent.” Plates of Brass Laban MARCH 2011 PAGE 9 09-10_facebook:a_chandler_kafka 2/13/2011 8:45 PM Page 10 SUNSTONE LAMAN: How very prudent and foresightful of NEPHI: took the “What my dear brothers to choose their strongest and Kind of Angel Watches most experienced sibling to DO THEIR DIRTY Over You?” quiz. WORK! My Result: ANGEL OF LABAN: Just beat Laman at a game of DESTRUCTION WORDTWIST. HOLY FREAKING COW! Your angel is the kind that totally whales on your brothers when they’re mean to you! We’re talking divine Hurtsville here! Repentance, anybody? NEPHI: OK, gang, here’s the plan. Daphne, LABAN: Boy, howdy, is my head going to hurt Velma, and I will check out the old ware- tomorrow. house. Scooby and Shaggy, you two go to the spooky old mansion on the hill. NEPHI: Stay the heck outta my account, Laman! LAMAN: Zoinks! It’s the Preacher! Run for NEPHI: Just scored 125,000 points on it, Scoob! BEHEADED. Can you beat him? Lemuel: ROTFL! Preacherrrrrrrr ... PREACHERRRRRRR! LEMUEL: Laban can have our gold and silver and precious things, but he is NOT getting Mr. Bun- LABAN: Is offline. bun! LAMAN: We really oughta bring Laban a casserole while we’re at it. Maybe a Jell-O salad. LAMAN: What Nephi won’t do for a new outfit . sheesh. LEMUEL: DOBERMANS?!!!!!!! sent via Facebook for iNePhone NEPHI and ZORAM are now friends. LABAN: The dogs seemed to enjoy their exercise more than usual today. I think they like it when their prey scream like little girls. SARAI: Boys, please pick up a jug of milk on your way home. Thx. LEMUEL: Write this in your diary! LOL! SAM: Hold on a sec! What am I, chopped liver? I was totally left out of this story! FEMALES: Poor Sam. Kicking the Socks Offa Priss Boy Source: www.jeru-tube.com PAGE 10 MARCH 2011.