B O O M E R A N G DIALOGUE CONTINUITY PRINTED IN USA B O O M E R A N G WOMAN #1: Hi, Marcus. MARCUS: Hey, you. Yo, I left something on your desk for you yesterday. Yo, man! BONY-T: Yo, Marcus, man, when we gonna hang out? MARCUS: We gonna hang out soon. Slow down with that thing, Bony. Good morning, ladies. LADIES: Hi, Marcus. TYLER: So I'm there, right? I'm like this. GERARD: Yo, man, I'm trying to work. MARCUS: Hey, what's up? GERARD: Hey, what's up? TYLER: Yo, what's up? MARCUS: I'll see y'all at lunch. GERARD: Okay. MARCUS: Peace. MARCUS: Good morning. Hey, stranger. Nice to see you again. SECRETARY #1: (OFF) Good morning. MARCUS: Good morning, cuteness. Hey, hey, hey. How you doing? What's up? Hey, mornin'. Mornin'. Good morning. MARCUS: Good morning... SECRETARY #2: Good morning. MARCUS: Hey, you. WOMAN: Hello. MARCUS: Good morning, Noreen. MARCUS' SECRETARY: (OFF) Good morning, Marcus. BOOMERANG Page 2 MARCUS: Hey, do me a favor and send a single long stem rose to Carrie, Tracy, Miranda, Cassandra, Alegra, Shirrel, and Mai-lai. MARCUS' SECRETARY: With the usual card? MARCUS: Yeah. "Thinking only of you." MARCUS' SECRETARY: Right. Oh, you have a meeting with Lady Eloise tomorrow at nine. MARCUS: Cool. MARCUS' SECRETARY: Nelson's waiting for you. And Anita called. MARCUS: Oh, I knew I forgot to do something. Will you get her on the phone for me? MARCUS' SECRETARY: Sure. MARCUS: Thank you. MARCUS: Nelson... NELSON: (OFF) Hello, Marcus. NELSON: I can't wait to show you this. I've re-cut the Kissable spot. MARCUS: Oh, you re-cut it. But is it sexy? NELSON: Is it sexy? (LAUGHS) It is sex-sational. COMMERCIAL: Kiss, kiss. Kiss me once, kiss me twice. Oh, yeah. Oh, la, la. Kiss me... NELSON: (CHUCKLES) NELSON: Whoooh. COMMERCIAL: Kiss, kiss, kiss. Kiss me once, kiss me twice. Oh, yeah. COMMERCIAL: Oh, la, la. Kiss me oh... COMMERCIAL: ...so nice, baby. Kissable... COMMERCIAL: ...oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. COMMERCIAL: Kiss me. Kissable. Yeah, yeah, yeah... Kissable! NELSON: (CHUCKLES) MARCUS: (OFF) I like it. BOOMERANG Page 3 NELSON: Good. MARCUS: (OFF) I like the orange... NELSON: (OFF) Yeah... MARCUS: ...and I like the ice cream. You gotta get rid of the cherries, and lose... MARCUS: (OFF) ...the banana. NELSON: Cherry and banana? But that's a little Bunuel, a little Dali, a little... You know. MARCUS: No, it's a little too overt, you know. We should go... MARCUS: (OFF) ...a little more subtle. I think someone might get offended. NELSON: All right. MARCUS: It's not done yet. I dug...I dug it. Don't make that "He didn't dig it" face. I dug it. It just got a little nasty, like you always do. (CHUCKLES) NELSON: (OFF) All right. NELSON: Okay. MARCUS: (OFF) All right. The nasty Nelson. NELSON: That's me. MARCUS: (OFF) We don't want no sausages in this one. NELSON: (LAUGHS) MARCUS: Yeah? SECRETARY: (OVER TELEPHONE) Anita on line one. MARCUS: Great. MARCUS: (INTO TELEPHONE) Hey, you. Now, don't be mad. Let me... Can I explain to you what happened? Haven't you been watching the news? Oh, then you haven't been watching BOOMERANG Page 4 the news. The big accident they had in mid- town, where the cabs busted into the other cab and knocked into the bus, and the water main busted. I was in that. You haven't seen it? It's on the news right now. What...Oh, it just went off. Channel Four, it just went off. Yeah, but I was... No, I'm cool. I'm, I'm all right, yeah. My neck's a little stiff, that's all. No, actually, a massage sounds kind of fly. Yeah, I'm all with that. Oh, that, too. Well, can I call you next week? Cool. Later. MARCUS: What's next? MARCUS' SECRETARY: (OVER TELEPHONE) Casting for the body lotion spot. MARCUS: Ah, tell the fellas I might be a little late for lunch today. TYLER: Yo, man, I saw somethin' on cable last night freaked me. There was this woman, right? Baby had bo-dy. She was lyin' there, totally naked, right? You could see everything. But she had a dick, man. TYLER: (OFF) Fucked me up! TYLER: It was a...a...Nine Seven Six number for hermaphrodytes... GERARD: Are you talking about 9-7-6-D-I-C-K, ah...Chicks With Dicks? MARCUS: Eeeeuuuh! MARCUS: How could you put something like that in your mental rolodex? MARCUS: (OFF) He's a closet freak. BOOMERANG Page 5 MARCUS: You got problems, man. TYLER: You're coming out! MARCUS: Yeah. GERARD: No, man. I was...you know, kidding. TYLER: Oh, man. Yo, that ain't regular, man. TYLER: See, sometime I feel like there's a whole world out there we don't know about. Like the shit you read about in Penthouse. Man, stuff like that never happens to me. GERARD: Man, stuff like that never happens to anybody, except for Marcus. MARCUS: Hey, wait a minute. The only reason stuff like that happens to me all the time is because I pay attention to women. Y'all don't pay attention to women. TYLER: Whoa, Marcus...I pay attention. MARCUS: Yo, you have to watch them and study their moves and... GERARD: Man, get out of here, Marcus. MARCUS: It's an art form, too. GERARD: You know, I can't do that, man. TYLER: That's why you don't get no pussy, man. MARCUS: Exactly. GERARD: Hey, Tyler... GERARD: (OFF) ...there's other things in life besides sex. GERARD: Come on. How about sharing, commitment. You, you got to get in touch with your feminine side, like me. MARCUS: You're startin' to sound a little on the soft side. But... MARCUS: (OFF) ...I understand soft, man. BOOMERANG Page 6 TYLER: Borderline bitch. GERARD: You know what your problem is? You need more romance and less Doberman Pinscher. That's what you need. MARCUS: (OFF) That's true. That is true. MARCUS: You have too much dog and no romance in your life. TYLER: Whoa, Marcus, don't even try that, all right? You ain't got no romance. MARCUS: Ah...Ah...Excuse me. Excuse me. I am the most romantic cat both of you know. MARCUS: When I meet a woman, I am flowers, I am candy, I am soft music... GERARD: And Mr. Milkbone. MARCUS: No, but I am Mr. Romance when I meet a woman, then once I hit it, I lose interest, but that ain't my fault. GERARD: Oh, so, in other words, right at the moment of orgasm, just all the romance just skeets right out of you. Just... MARCUS: (OFF) No, that... But you can't put that... MARCUS: ...on me. That's not... The onus is not on me. WOMAN IN BLUE: (INTERRUPTING) Hi. MARCUS: Hey, how are you? WOMAN IN BLUE: Good. Thank you. MARCUS: You have a beautiful accent. Where are you from? WOMAN IN BLUE: I'm from Holland. MARCUS: Oh. WOMAN IN BLUE: Nice meeting you. BOOMERANG Page 7 MARCUS: Nice meeting you, too. WOMAN IN BLUE: Bye. MARCUS: Bye bye, cuteness. GERARD: I'm...I'm from Detroit. TYLER: (OFF) Shit, that just makes... TYLER: ...me mad, man. Bitches never do that to me, man. MARCUS: Well, maybe it's because you call them bitches all the time. GERARD: Yeah, man. You need to straighten up. Show some... GERARD: ...respect. Man, come on. TYLER: Yo, man... Excuse me. Excuse me, waitress? WAITRESS: Yeah? TYLER: Look, uhm...I ordered the duck. Right? Uhm...What, ah...vegetable comes with that? WAITRESS: Oooh. That's a good one. It's sauteed asparagus spears and it is good. It's our special. MARCUS: Oh, yes. WAITRESS: (FACE OFF) Delicious. MARCUS: That sounds good. WAITRESS: (FACE OFF) You'll love 'em. MARCUS: Oh, God. WAITRESS: All right. MARCUS: That sounds good. Thank you. WAITRESS: Okay, then. TYLER: That sounds good. Come on. MARCUS: What? TYLER: Why don't... TYLER: ...she just come out, man...and say it. Call us jungle bunnies, man. BOOMERANG Page 8 MARCUS: What? TYLER: (OFF) Asparagus... TYLER: ...spears! MARCUS: What? TYLER: If we were white, it would have been asparagus tips. Racial, man. Racial! MARCUS: Aw, man, you're tripping now. TYLER: No, you're tripping. MARCUS: (OFF) Definitely. MARCUS: Definitely. No, you definitely... GERARD: (OFF) Come on, calm down. You need... GERARD: (OFF) You've got to process... GERARD: (OFF) ...some of this anger, man. MARCUS: (OFF) Yo, ah... MARCUS: Y'all excuse me for a minute. GERARD: (OFF) You know what you need to do, man? GERARD: You need to get in touch with Tyler, man. Say "Tyler, I love you, man." TYLER: What? Nigger, please! WIFE: Go take your walk. MARCUS: I'll give you twenty dollars for that leash! HUSBAND: Take it, fool. HUSBAND: Turn down that good money. CHRISTIE: Yes, baby. MARCUS: (OFF) Kirby? MARCUS: (OFF) Kirby? Come here, Kirb... MARCUS: Kirby! CHRISTIE: Did you lose your dog? MARCUS: Oh, yeah, I lost a white Springer Spaniel with brown spots on him. Named Kirby. MARCUS: Real energetic happy dog. Did you see him? CHRISTIE: Oh, I haven't seen him. BOOMERANG Page 9 MARCUS: Man, I only took him off the leash for a couple of seconds. I can't believe this happened. Kirby? CHRISTIE: Oh... MARCUS: He's like a family member, you know? CHRISTIE: Oh, I know.