Dominican Scholar Collected Faculty and Staff Scholarship Faculty and Staff Scholarship 2010 Parental Leadership: The Mary Poppins Metaphor Brad Van Alstyne Department of Communication and Media Studies, Dominican University of California, [email protected] Survey: Let us know how this paper benefits you. Recommended Citation Van Alstyne, Brad, "Parental Leadership: The Mary Poppins Metaphor" (2010). Collected Faculty and Staff Scholarship. 285. https://scholar.dominican.edu/all-faculty/285 This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Faculty and Staff Scholarship at Dominican Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in Collected Faculty and Staff Scholarship by an authorized administrator of Dominican Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Parental Leadership Journal of Conscious Evolution Volume 5, 2010 Parental Leadership: The Mary Poppins Metaphor Brad Van Alstyne1 Dominican University of California Existing theories on leadership are usually based on efforts we are familiar with in which leaders are easily defined (work, war, sports, etc). Little analysis to date has been placed on the role of parents as leaders outside of the social sciences where the focus of the research is usually an offshoot of psychology or childhood development. The parent as leader is a unique focus in that there are several qualities of the parent role that are quite different from that of the typical supervisory roles we normally discuss, while at the same time it would be foolish to think of parents as anything but leaders. The disconnect in this idea is evident in the ways western society regards employment as it relates to parenthood, specifically pregnancy and the inequities with which “stay-home” parents are regarded. Few job sites provide adequate pregnancy leave, or childcare opportunities, and western society in general tends to regard stay at home parents with contempt in terms of their contribution to our vocation oriented society in which accolades are usually work achievement oriented. Society in general The list below attempts to highlight a few significant differences which merit discussion. Permanence-the role of parent is non-reversible-Regardless of how a parent sees themselves, there is no way to undo parenthood. This is very different from most leadership roles, in which one can simply resign or choose to stop leading. Newness-the role of parent is always new and previously non-existent. By this I mean that the situation in which a new parent finds himself, is always different from any other situation encountered by any other parent, as the children in question are new and previously non-existent prior to birth. Partnership-the role of parent requires a partner. Even if parents aren’t biologically related to their offspring, the act of birth always requires two (egg from one, sperm from the other). Even if the original biological entities are not involved, the children carry genetic material that will in some way be a likeness of the original donors. Uniqueness-the role is always unique from the role of either parent in as much as every second of every minute of every day is different with different individuals in the mix. Human experience is always unique and unrepeatable. 1 [email protected] Parental Leadership Subordinate/supervisor relationship-in the case of parenting, regardless of how the supervisor (parents) or subordinates (children) see it, the roles of each are forever. This is not unusual to work settings in terms of required performance, but the unique difference here is that the role of “caretaker” is rarely written down and agreed to and is completely contingent on societal and individual expectations based on the nature of the relationship. I may dislike my parents and disagree with the way I was raised, but it is acknowledged that a time will come when our roles may be reversed and I will become parent (caretaker) to my parents. Regardless of this change in the status of our relationship, my parents will always be my parents and I will always be their child. Protection/survival-the only role I can think of where a significant portion of the relationship focuses on actual survival as the subordinate in unable to take care of their basic needs for quite some time. Because of these obvious differences not only in the role of parenting and the ways we recognize leadership, but also in the ways society regards parenthood, Parents, I would argue, are forced to look to metaphors which are based in fantasy. Though reality is the norm, there are few models that can be followed that are actually appropriate for the unique challenges that a parent faces. For this reason I will be looking at the movie Mary Poppins in terms of the fantasy leadership metaphor is provides for parents and specifically the role of Mary Poppins as perfect parent. Though in the movie, Mary is a nanny, she embodies many of the roles western society teaches us a parent must be, yet implicitly relies in fantasy to create the persona so many parents strive to be. The Mary Poppins metaphor (MPM), as I refer to it is made up of several facets by which modern parents can be defined. Below I will begin with a brief summary of the movie’s theme and follow by stating each of these facets and explain how they work as a model of parental leadership. In the Walt Disney movie “Mary Poppins”, Mary is a nanny that comes to an embattled home in which there are two children (Jane and Michael Banks) that are passed off on their nannies as their parents, Winifred and George, focus on their own individual pursuits (George as an executive of a bank and his wife Winifred as an advocate and active participant in the women’ s rights movement). The movie takes place in England in 1910 as focuses on Mary’s relationship with the children in their parent’s absence. Throughout a series of events, Mary manages to convince both the children and parents that they need each other, and the movie concludes with the family united as a happy foursome or model family. The events and characters that play a role in this transformation, are all part of what I consider the MPM and will be discussed here. 1. The problem-The existing situation to which Mary is introduced can be easily seen as problematic. The ease of this analysis lends itself to a good vs. bad scenario where it is not difficult to arrive at a better answer for everyone: get the parents and children to realize they need and love each other. In parenthood, there are no perfect solutions. The fluid nature of the role dictates that several solutions Parental Leadership be enlisted in a “trial and error” format, in which the first solution is rarely the best and may well never be used again in a similar situation. 2. Mary as part of the heavens-Mary’s place of origin is in the clouds above England. The movie opens with a scene of Mary actually sitting on a cloud waiting to descend to the home that needs her. One immediately thinks of the heavens and the role of creation and how it plays into the life of a parent. This is of course speculation on my part based on my interpretation of the scene, but what is inarguable is that childbirth is creation. Regardless of your religion, the birth of children, your own or others, is the only time we can witness the creation of our species. Just like Mary, we see our children as special and from another place where everything is individual and unique. Mary descends from the heavens and is officially not o this world, yet we hope to do the same things in the lives of our children that she does. It is an unrealistic expectation doomed for failure. 3. Busy schedules are still the norm-The Banks are a busy, modern family. Much like any of us, they are forced to focus on their pursuits at the expense of their children, even unknowingly. They have two full time servants and even a nanny for the children. It is interesting to note that the children, even being of school age, never actually go to school during the movie, presenting them as even a greater obstacle. This is actually one of the parts of the movie that is still true to form for most western families. Survival dictates that we leave the care of our children to some other individual, even though we know we are supposed to be the ones that actually perform childcare. 4. Mary as mystic-aside from the fact that she descends form the clouds, the perfect childhood companion also separates herself from us mortals by being able to jump into chalk paintings and have them come to life, levitate and lift other objects, speak with animals and animated characters, and change the existing states of objects. Here is one of the places where our problems as parents begin. Mary is the ideal companion for our children, but to be so, she needs to be magical 5. Mary is the champion of god vs. evil. In order to save the children form being ignored by their parents, Mary must, in many ways, take on many of societies established institutions. Particularly, her actions cause a run on the bank, the workplace of he children’s father, resulting in him being fired. Again, difficulties for the modern parent striving to be Mary. We are more entrenched in our institutions in order to ensure the survival of our children. We can’t afford to lose our jobs and spend time with our children instead.