---- -~~--~---~ December 1987 Among Friends •dltor-Man~~..,. Vinton Deming As ..stent •dltor Melissa Kay Elliott Art Director 'Tis the Season Barbara Benton Graphic Design~ Daniel Leisen Advertising Manag~ e got the jump on the Christmas season again this year as Tim Back we posed together in late October for our staff Circulation Man~~..,. photograph-our annual tradition for the past six years. Carolyn Terrell W Advertl.. ng and Circulation A... stant Long-time subscribers will note on the next page the presence of Gay Nicholson Typesetting Services some new faces from a year ago. James Rice and Denise-Nanette Robinson It seems too early to get in a Christmas mood, somehow, but I Secretarial Services Jeanne G. Beisel realize that the season soon will be upon us. At least my two sons Bookkeeper have started talking about it. Simeon, who will be five this month, James Neveil has started choosing Christmas stories at bedtime: Andrew, nearly Yolunt~ seven (and still a strong believer in Santa Claus) suggested this week Jane Burgess, Frank Bjornsgaard, Emily Conlon, and Amy Weber that we'll have to stop using our woodstove soon so the chimney will be a safe place for Christmas eve; and I caught both boys stepping Board of Managers 1985-1988: Teresa J. Engeman (Secretary), Elizabeth off the best place in our family room to put up a tree. B. Watson There are some, of course, who rather dread the many pressures of 1986-1989: Jennie Allen, Dean Bratis, Helen Morgan Brooks, Mark Cary, Sol A. Jacobson, Leonard the holidays. There are those perennial crises of decision making, for Kenwonhy, Mary Mangelsdorf, Linell McCurry instance, that most families must face: should greeting cards (or (Clerk), Janet Norton, Elizabeth S. Williams 1987-1990: Frank lljornsgaard, Emily Conlon family letters) be sent? Will Christmas be spent at home or visiting (Assistant Clerk), Mary Howarth, Marcia Paullin, parents/children? For whom should gifts be purchased/ made/ sent? William D. Strong (Treasurer), Allen Terrell, Mary Wood To which Quaker and other organizations should contributions be Honorary Managers sent before year's end? And for those of us working parents with Eleanor Stabler Clarke, Mildred Binns Young school-age children there's the task of juggling work schedules during FiuENDs JoURNAL (ISSN 0016-1322) was school holidays. It's no wonder that many of us begin the new year established in 1955 as the successor to The in a state of exhaustion. Friend (1827-1955) and Friends lntelligencer (1844-1955). It is associated with the Religious Mother Teresa was once asked by a newspaper reporter, "Tell me Society of Friends, and is a member of the something that will change my life." And her simple response was, Associated Church Press. "Smile. It's easy to smile at strangers. Smile at the people you live • FiuENDs JouRNAL is published monthly by with." Such good advice. So in this spirit, let me offer these bits of Friends Publishing Corporation, 1501 Cherry St., Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497. (215) 241-7277. Quaker humor to buoy you in the busy weeks ahead: Second-class postage paid at Philadelphia, P A. • Subscriptions: one year $I 5, two years $29, three years $43. Add $6 per year for postage • From a meeting newsletter comes this interesting slip of the pen: a outside United States, its " possessions," public letter from the meeting mentions the "Friends Historic Peace Canada, and Mexico. Foreign remittances should be in U.S. dollars or adjusted for currency Testimoney" (a costly commitment, to be sure); differential. Sample copies $1 each; back issues • From the monthly meeting notes in another newsletter: "The $2 each. meeting adopted the clerk's suggestion that at 2:55 p.m. it examine • Information on and assistance with advenising is available on request. Appearance the remaining agenda to determine the urgency of continuing beyond of any advenisement does not imply 2:00 p.m." (yes, we've all experienced such meetings); endorsement by FiuENDS JouRNAL. Copyright © 1987 by Friends Publishing • A young man attending Philadelphia Yearly Meeting last spring Corporation. Reprints of articles available at (casually dressed with flowing, shoulder-length hair) reported: "I nominal cost. Permission should be received before reprinting excerpts longer than 200 words. think sometimes we are too parochial in our view of our meeting. I Available in microfilm from University was in the men's room and observed there two Friends-one Microftlms International. classically old-fashioned, wearing a black hat and traditional Quaker dress, and the other rather mod with a Mohawk haircut. I smiled at them and said, 'You two really are a scene!' The old-fashioned Postmaster: Friend smiled slightly and replied, 'Thee makes three!' " send address changes to Friends .loumal, Keep the humor coming, Friends-and a merry and good holiday 1501 Cherry St., Philadelphia, PA season to one and all. 1.102-14.7. 2 December 1987 FRIENDS JoURNAL December 1987 FRIENDS Volume 33, No. 15 JOURNAL Features Departments 6 The Camp 2 Among Friends Solveig Dale Eskedahl A reminiscence from a Christmas in Norway during 4 Forum World War II 5 VIewpoint 8 A Mother's GHts 22 Witness Karen Burdette Family Christmas traditions often start 24 News of Friends in unexpected ways. 24 Bulletin Board 9 The Lono Tiki 26 Reports Dorothy DiRienzi Some timely thoughts on gifts given and received 28 Books Milestones 10 Mass for Christmas 31 Grace Yaukey 32 Calendar A Friend reflects on the wonder of that first Christmas. 32 Classlfleds 11 Holy Experiences, Sacred 34 Meetings Commitments, and Secular Delusions Thomas H . Jeavons What are Friends' attitudes towards the sacraments and other religious rituals and customs? 14 Quietly the Ministers Among Us Barry Morley Some glimpses of different forms that ministry might take in our meetings. 17 FWCC at Mid-Century Errol Elliott The organization is 50 years old. What challenges may lie ahead for Friends? 20 Quaker Women and Religious Leadership Kathryn Damiano What are the unique aspects of leadership offered by FRIENDS JOURNAL staff: (First row left to right) Quaker women? Barbara Benton, Carolyn Terrell, Danni Robinson; (Second row) Jeanne Beisel, Gay Nicholson, Jim Rice; (Third row) Vinton Deming, Tim Back, Jim Neveil, Front cover illustration by Daniel Leisen Melissa Elliott; (Top) Daniel Leisen. FRIENDS JouRNAL D ecember 1987 3 Forum of f~ling that light. Therefore, the sug­ nuclear weapons systems cost New Other Causes ... gestion to try is as useless, and as cruel Hanover County's 112,000 people I have read with great interest Larry as urging a blind person to try to see. ' $26,044,640 a year and Brunswick County's Miller's article "Spiritual Aspects of While the suggestion to try may have a 27,436 people, $6,371,635 a year. Depression" (FJ Sept). He fails to men­ ~egative impact on anyone with depres­ Isn't it time to let our legislators know tion the hereditary factor of depression. Sion, I see it as particularly confusing for we want a mutual, verifiable nuclear My mother was in and out of clinics children who have clinical depression. freeze? Plus, after that-or at the same for depression and drinking while I was Children can and do have depression; ac­ time-step by step, verifiable reduction growing up in France. Her father was cording to the American Mental Health of conventional weapons coordinated alcoholic, and eventually died in delirium Fund, twelve million children suffer from with development of a worldwide bill of tremens (D.T.'s). depression and other mental illnesses; I rights and worldwide peace-keeping The scars her selt-destruction left me was one of these. institutions. with will probably never heal, and all the Thankfully, traditional antidepressant Betty Stone facts prove there is a genetic weakness I medication (imipramine) and psycho­ Wilmington (N.C.) Star News have inherited, as I have suffered from therapy have enabled me to live a con­ depression since I was 15 (I am 43 now). tent, even happy life, something I did not Others might try computing these figures think would ever be possible a number of Depress~on is truly hell on earth, very years ago when I attempted suicide. I for their areas and using them in letters well descnbed by Sheila Bovell's quo­ to local newspapers and politicians. -Ed. tation in Larry Miller's article. would suggest that others suffering from Drugs have not proved effective in my depression first try traditional therapies case, but I must say that the depression for a trial period-it may take from Taxing Concerns has lessened over the years, probably due several weeks to a month or two before to my very strong spiritual life. I have the medication becomes effective. If, after a sufficient trial period, the medica­ No doubt the overwhelming majority accepted the possibility that I may be of Friends pay income tax, and most of depressed off and on for the rest of my tion is not effective, then I would suggest that others cautiously explore the new that majority have that tax withheld by life. I also believe in another possibility: employers. How mariy of this number are with the grace of God, I will heal therapies. It may be helpful to know that others with this illness have gotten better. disturbed by the fact that more then 53% completely. of that tax dollar is used to pay for cur­ Helena Valery rent military programs and past "adven­ Maui, Hawaii Joan Downs · Hartford, Connecticut tures"? Of this percentage, those who object to paying for war as a matter of conscience may look to the enactment of .And Other Solutions the Peace Tax Fund bill, under which Ministry of Affirmation 3711Jo of current military expenditures will I am deeply troubled by the fmal be channeled into projects with peaceful paragraph of Larry Miller's article The affirming and loving presentations aims.