This book is dedicated to my husband, Bill Allen – my true love guru. 1 “If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man’s superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self- sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more affective appeal to the heart than woman?” - Mahatma Gandhi 2 LOVE IS IN THE STARS The Wise Woman’s Astrological Guide to Men Getting Started: How This Book Can Help You “Courteous Reader, Astrology is one of the most ancient Sciences, held in high esteem of old, by the Wise and the Great. Formerly, no prince would make War or Peace, nor any General fight in Battle, in short no important affair was undertaken without first consulting an Astrologer.” - Benjamin Franklin Once upon a time... You’re at a cocktail party in your sexiest black dress and strike up a conversation with a handsome stranger at the martini bar. He’s charming and smart and within minutes lets you know that he’s terribly interested in you. You’re having so much fun; you haven’t met anyone this adorable in forever. He asks for your phone number. Wow – this might actually go somewhere. You playfully ask him his birthday, trying to find out his astrological sign. “Please don’t let him be a Scorpio!” you beg the universal powers that be, remembering your promise to yourself (and all of your girlfriends) that you’d never date another born under that heartbreakingly sexy Sun sign ever again. “It’s November 10th,” he says smiling. “Why?” 3 Your face falls. Another Scorpio. Crap! Forget it. You aren’t up for more pain. You make up a lame excuse about having no business cards, grab your girlfriend, and slink out of the back door. Months go by. You meet someone else – miraculously, he’s a Sagittarius, which is supposed to be your “best” sign for love – at least, that’s what an astrology book you skimmed through in a bookstore said. And it certainly seems to be true - you really like him. During several dates over a handful of weeks, the feelings appear to be mutual. You share similar values and interests and the chemistry is HOT. Even your friends like him; in fact, they’d gladly take your place! One night you muster the courage to ask for his birth data – the date, time and place of his arrival on earth, so you can peer into his astrological romantic future and see if you’re in it! Within days he willingly provides the information you’ve requested, even calling his mother to be sure. You’re so excited! You can’t wait to check out his stars with a popular astrological website and calculate your compatibility in mere minutes. This same site had previously warned you about those evil Scorpios, you just didn’t listen! But you will now, ‘cause you’re sure it will confirm what you already know – he’s YOUR GUY. You race to the computer. A lengthy astrological report of your potential relationship is ready in a flash of keystrokes. Your eyes anxiously skim to the ending and fall on the last line that reads: The combination of these two people is not romantically recommended and will ultimately lead to disappointment and heartbreak. You try to go back but don’t understand the rest – something about squares and sextiles, whatever that means, and that his Saturn is opposing your something or other. It makes no sense to you, but what do you care? Your blossoming love is doomed, because clearly YOU are doomed – doomed to 4 endure a cruel fate you can do nothing about, one in which you’re going to die alone. And you’re so confused, what with his being a Sagittarius and all... Does any of the above sound familiar? Perhaps you’ve had the OPPOSITE happen – you were dating a wonderful man and consulted an astrologer or automated report that told you he was your “ideal” match – that you were astrologically “two peas in a pod” and should, therefore, have a bright romantic future. But the relationship ultimately fell apart, leaving you disappointed and hurt, making you doubt if you should ever consult the stars again. Smart, educated, and savvy women fall prey to misinformation about astrology all the time. Perhaps you’ve been one of them. If so, don’t be ashamed. Instead, be GLAD you’ve found this book because it contains the truth about astrology as it relates to RELATING, while dispelling misuses of this ancient knowledge that are prevalent and compelling, such as: - The most important thing to determine a man’s relationship potential and his compatibility with you is his Sun sign. - Astrological compatibility with a man is the most important thing to being in a successful relationship with him. - Your monthly or daily horoscope can predict when you’ll meet HIM. These false ideas get in the way of you being open to people that are right for you, cause you to give more energy than you should to people who are wrong for you, or worse – create seeds of doubt that cloud relationships that are otherwise going very well. The Star-Studded Truth Astrology is a vast, mysterious, and complex body of knowledge. Virtually every great civilization has studied the 5 influence of the stars on human affairs including the Hebrews, Persians, Celts, Mayans, Tibetans, Chinese, Egyptians, Babylonians, Greeks, and Hindus of India. Governed by rigorous rules and formulas, astrology is every bit as cerebrally challenging as chemistry, physics, biology, or any other branch of science. A sincere study of it takes many years of intense learning and practice, and requires an incredible dedication to the memorization and understanding of its laws. In earlier times astrology was accessible only to royalty or those in positions of power. The average person couldn’t afford astrological advice, as astrologers would spend months contemplating the heavens, pouring over their handwritten astronomical calculations, taking a great deal of time and care before making any official assessments, declarations, or predictions. But today, thanks in large part to the miracle of modern technology, astrology is common fare, available to all of us. Something so powerful and beneficial can only stay suppressed for so long. But mass market doesn’t always mean mass quality. Books, newspapers, and magazines, have conspired to create “pop” astrology, watering down its intricacies, making it seem simple, snappy, and easily understood by anyone with a smattering of knowledge or just a little bit of reading under their belt. While daily or monthly horoscopes, astrology websites that provide personalized reports, and those “Hey Aquarius – here’s what to expect in the new year” kinds of publications can be entertaining and provide good insights, they don’t do the breadth and depth of astrology justice, and often contain just enough misinformation to discredit the whole field, and promote those romantically dangerous lies I’ve been ranting about. My experience and expertise comes from studying and practicing the ancient system of India called “Jyotish,” also known as Hindu or Vedic astrology. 6 A little back-story… Vedic astrology is believed to be thousands of years older and more predictive than Western or Tropical astrology (which is the system in virtually all of the newspapers and magazines of the West). The most significant difference between the two systems involves the calculations of positions of the planets and signs, resulting in most people being considered born under a different Sun sign, Moon sign, and rising sign from one system to the next. While that may sound alarming, I’ve had many clients find this a relief – even die-hard fans of Western astrology will often respond, “It never made sense to me that I was a Virgo – I’m a slob!” or “I knew I couldn’t be a Scorpio – my sex drive is too low. I thought something must be wrong with me.” The different calculations of Vedic astrology are more observable in the night sky and satisfy most astronomers’ arguments against astrology in general.* But don’t worry – this book is for anyone interested in any kind of astrology. I’ll be discussing the foundational philosophies inherent to all the varied systems – not just that of India. And I fully recognize that many systems work! All roads lead to Rome, as the saying goes... Finding Out If You Are Celestial Sweethearts… Or Star-Crossed Lovers That said, a powerful strength of the Indian system is the techniques for understanding personal relationships. Obviously, the issue of romantic compatibility is an essential component for any healthy marriage, no matter what part of the world you live in. But traditional cultures, like that of India, have treated this topic with deep respect, understanding that the success of a village, city, or nation, depends on the foundation of the family. (For an excellent explanation of the history of astrology and the differences between the Vedic and Western systems and their distinct calculations, see http://en.Wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindu_astrology). 7 For thousands of years, the Hindus have arranged the vast majority of their marriages (a common practice to this day); astrology has been and remains one of the critical factors used in the selection of brides and grooms by families at every level of society. It’s their crystal ball, if you will, for determining which candidates will match favorably for the long haul.