Composer Richard Einhorn writes about his sudden hearing loss and how, with his clever uses of existing technology, he continues to work and live well with hearing loss. Richard Einhorn Composing and Living to the Hilt after No Compromise Hearing Loss I love sound, all sounds—loud sounds, fairly straightforward devices, I can hear hearing loss has not been permitted to soft sounds, sad sounds, beautiful reasonably well (but not perfectly) in very seriously harm my life. sounds, funny sounds, glorious sounds. nearly every situation I encounter in Although I certainly don’t enjoy I experience the world primarily through my life, from meals with my family and having a hearing loss—and I know I’m my ears, not through my eyes. Ever since friends to rehearsals and performances not alone—I did enjoy piecing together I was 15 when I realized that I was a of orchestral concerts of my music. my hearing assistance kit and find it composer, I have spent nearly every day Obviously, everyone’s hearing loss invaluable both in my musical and of my life trying to find ways to hear is different, and obviously, everyone isn’t personal life. The first question that better, working hard to continue to train that comfortable with modern technol- came to my mind was: my hearing and to keep up with the ogy. That said, there is one thing I can After my hearing loss, could I still amazing audio technology of our time. say for certain: compose music? Forty-two years later, when I sud- It is vitally important that people I quickly learned that the answer denly lost most of my hearing, and after with hearing loss stop trying to hide their was yes. I recovered from the shock, I applied hearing loss. There is absolutely nothing my love of sound plus my lifetime to be gained by doing so, and so much Figuring Out My Hearing Loss involvement with pro audio to the to lose. Hearing losses are always complicated. incredibly difficult communication I have met no one, including some Before I could work to improve my problems caused by my serious hearing of the best musicians and most competi- hearing, I first had to understand what loss. True, my hearing is damaged, tive executives I’ve worked with, who I was hearing. I began by reviewing but I certainly haven’t lost the ability cared a whit that I was obviously using my history: to analyze, understand, and improve hearing assistance to listen to a rehearsal On June 15, 2010—one of the what I am still able to hear. or to participate in a meeting. Besides, worst days of my life—I woke up to I’m still learning a lot, but I’ve after my sudden hearing loss, it was so find that my right ear had gone com- come up with some techniques and obvious that I couldn’t hear properly pletely deaf, with virtually no warning devices that work extremely well for that I realized I couldn’t go stealth even at all. This is a condition called Idio- me. None of them is perfect, but I’ve if I wanted to. Because my hearing pathic Sudden Sensorineural Hearing found that by keeping my expectations assistance—which I don't try to hide— Loss. It’s considered a medical emer- reasonable; by continuing to experiment makes it relatively easy for me to par- gency, doctors treat it with steroids, and and practice; and by piecing together ticipate as actively as ever at meetings, if you’re lucky, your hearing might come a hearing assistance “kit” with a few dinners, and concerts, my very serious continued on page 12 10 HearingHearing Loss Loss Magazine Magazine Richard at work at the Peabody Conservatory Dyer © Cindy of Music with vocalists Stephen Campbell, Phoenix, AZ; Rachel Grider, Modesto, CA; and Nola Richardson, Sydney, Australia May/June 2012 11 No Compromise from page 10 It is vitally important that well as lower sounds. I could still hear people with hearing loss far below and—crucially—far above back over the course of two anxious “ every note on a piano keyboard. As I weeks. I wasn’t lucky. stop trying to hide their knew many people with hearing loss However, during those two weeks, I hearing problems. There is who couldn’t hear the top range of the started to notice tiny scratching sounds absolutely nothing to be piano at all, I counted myself extremely in my right ear whenever anyone spoke fortunate. gained by doing so, and to me in a voice louder than a whisper. Now, what would I have to do to These scratchy noises became louder so much to lose. hear better? What kind of gadgets would and louder until they were absolutely I need? From my long experience work- unbearable. When I listened to speech would dare to operate on my” only hear- ing in sound, I knew immediately that with my right ear, it sounded like I was ing ear. one solution would not fit all. I would listening to an infuriatingly-loud robot I studied my audiograms and, while need multiple techniques, multiple from a bad 1950s sci-fi film. Speech useful, I’ve found that my own ability devices. was utterly incomprehensible in my to hear is the best judge of what my ears right ear. are doing. Emotionally, it was heart- The Composer Analyzes Sound This problem—inability to hear wrenching to listen coldly and clinically Composing has always been a central speech, excessive volume, and extreme to what my damaged ears were produc- part of my life; it is the means by which distortion—is called “recruitment” or ing—I used to hear so well!— but I I orient myself to the world and express “hyperacusis” and I developed a very shoved aside my sense of being treated my deepest thoughts and feelings. I’ve severe case of it. I started wearing an terribly unfairly by life and just listened, always used whatever current technol- earplug in my right ear whenever I and then listened some more. Then I ogy I could find to help me write. Like ventured outside my apartment. tried to understand, on my own terms, many music composers, I rarely use a With my right ear worse than being what was going on. Here, oversimpli- piano but work instead on computers deaf, I was now dependent solely on my fied, was what I was dealing with: and digital simulations of musical instru- left ear in order to hear the world. My right ear was totally dead, ments. I then copy the music out—on Unfortunately, my left ear already worthless, there was no usable sound. my computer, of course—and give suffered from a middle ear problem My left ear was down 70 percent in the parts to musicians to perform. called otosclerosis. Everything sounded terms of volume. Without hearing as- Would all this equipment—some much too soft. In fact, my left ear was sistance, I was now functionally deaf. of the most advanced audio technology operating at just 30 percent the level of But the closer I listened to my left ear, available today—be flexible enough, and a normal ear. While surgery can correct the more I realized that its frequency powerful enough, to be able to work the problem, it was now too danger- response was still relatively flat. That is, around my hearing loss? After all, it had ous to perform. No American surgeon I could still hear high sounds equally as been designed for people with great hear- ing, not for people who needed serious hearing assistance! I used to love listening to music over loudspeakers. After numerous tests, I was disappointed to discover that I would have to use earphones instead of my beautiful-sounding (and very expen- sive) recording studio speakers in order to hear well enough to write. The room am- bience of my studio simply muddied up the sound now; also, the volume needed for listening irritated my right ear recruit- ment. I would simply have to use some kind of headphone for my left ear. My right ear, I decided, was beyond hope. Over the years, I’d purchased a fairly large collection of headphones and earphones in a variety of styles. I quickly noticed that I could easily tell the differ- © Cindy Dyer © Cindy ence between the sound of cheap phones, Richard Einhorn (right) works with students from the Peabody Conservatory of Music: like the Apple earbuds, which I just from left: Nicholas Dogas, Stephen Campbell, Rachel Grider and Nola Richardson threw away, and a more expensive pair. I 12 Hearing Loss Magazine also realized that a sealed, in-ear design invisible. There was very little truly my life was never an option, I would just delivered by far the best sound for me. detailed information about how hearing have to develop ways to hear better in Since I wanted to hear as well as I aids processed sound (but plenty of public. I chose to concentrate on restau- possibly could, I researched high-end vague assurances that hearing aid X had rants first. earphones. I raided my bank account the best sound). This seemed backwards: My long experience as a recording and bought an “in-ear monitor” for all I wanted to do was to hear well! I engineer and producer told me that in my left ear. It was manufactured by a couldn’t have cared less about the style, a noisy environment like a restaurant, company that caters to top rock stars.