EVAGRIUS PONTICUS A.D. 345–399 THE NOONDAY DEMON IN OUR DISTRACTED AGE WHAT TO DO WHEN A NETFLIX BINGE BRINGS YOU MORE JOY THAN GOD’S CALLING. BY J.!L. AIJIAN CTP_S20_Aijian P12.indd 12 2/18/20 1:28 PM ‘‘ The spirit of acedia drives the monk out of his cell, but the monk who possesses perseverance will ever cultivate stillness. A person a!icted with acedia proposes visiting the sick, but is fulfilling his own purpose. A monk given to acedia is quick to undertake a service, but considers his own satisfaction to be a precept. FROM ON THE EIGHT THOUGHTS IN THE FIRST YEAR of my PhD program, I was 21, lonely, disoriented, utterly out of my depth, and unwilling to admit it. Instead of running to my professors for help or diving in at the library, I found myself avoiding homework altogether. I told myself I wasn’t working because I didn’t care about my classes, but the truth was, the fear of failure was too much to bear. I knew God had called me to this task, but as the di!culty of the work set in, my call became a source of sadness instead of joy. I first heard the term acedia—what Thomas Aquinas defines as “sad- ness at an interior or spiritual good”—as a graduate student working as a teacher’s assistant for an intro to ethics course. I didn’t think much of it at first, but over time I realized this ancient Christian concept was at the center of my daily experience. When my PhD program ended, my fight with acedia didn’t. Instead, it shifted to a realm I never expected: my relationship with my kids. It’s impossible to describe the joy of being a parent or the love you suddenly 13 CTP_S20_Aijian P12.indd 13 2/18/20 1:29 PM feel toward the tiny human who has been put into your were sometimes drawn away by recurring thoughts of care. However, in the daily grind of early mornings, dia- food and bodily comforts, sexual desires, anger toward pers, cleaning, and endless negotiations, parenthood others in their community, and sadness at their own can seem onerous instead of joyful. Even now I occa- failures. Evagrius systematized these thoughts into a sionally find myself looking for escapes from the life list of eight, and, with a few changes, these became the that’s meant to be my calling and God’s gift. seven deadly sins we know today. The term acedia has faded from popular use, but if Acedia is unusual in this list because it doesn’t appear you’ve been in ministry for long, there’s a good chance to have a consistent focal point like the other sins. Glut- you recognize the feeling of dread when faced with cer- tony is always about bodily pleasure, vainglory is always tain tasks or the desire to distract yourself with easier about how a person is perceived by others, but acedia can or more pleasant work. Instead of feeling joy at the min- manifest as almost anything. Evagrius describes it as a istry you’ve been called to, you avoid it. And nowadays, general in an army, dispatching temptations strategically the rivals for our attention seem endless: Podcasts fill to drive its victim from the spiritual battle. the silence of our daily commutes, and push notifica- When I describe acedia in my classes, I often use the tions break our concentration and keep us reaching example of a student who has a major paper to write for our phones. When God’s calling to ministry loses by morning. The student sits down to write but soon its luster, apps like Zillow and Indeed remind us of the finds herself drifting down the hallway for a snack “to homes and jobs we could have instead. help her concentrate,” checking her email, cleaning her Still, the fight against acedia isn’t hopeless. Just as desk, or looking up the lyrics to that great song she just a physician diagnosing a disease can pave the way for heard on Spotify. treatment, naming this malady and examining its ori- The diverse experiences of acedia described by Eva- gins may help a"icted pastors tune out the distractions grius are easy to recognize in contemporary settings. and return with full vigor to their ministry work. Acedia can begin as boredom—a long, slow day that makes the su!erer think ahead to all the long, slow days stretching endlessly in front of him. It may arise A FAILURE TO CARE as a grass-is-greener fantasy about a di!erent town, The concept of acedia began its life in Greece. Its mean- job, or marriage. It can also come as a one-two punch: ing, “a failure to care,” was applied specifically to the After an experience of spiritual failure, the su!erer context of a deceased body. Acedia was at stake in Anti- doubts that any of his e!orts have made a di!erence gone, for instance, when the brave sister defied the king in his spiritual life. Maybe it isn’t worth the work, he in order to give her brother a proper burial; and in the thinks. Acedia hurls thoughts like these at its victims Iliad, when the Greeks, led by Achilles, fought fiercely in a strategic e!ort to get them to stop pursuing their to recapture and honorably bury the body of Patroclus. spiritual vocations. Evagrius Ponticus, a fourth-century ascetic and scholar well versed in Greek philosophy and literature, ACTIVISM GROWN WEARY chose this term to describe the distraction experienced by Egyptian monks seeking holiness and divine con- Acedia can be especially dangerous for those in voca- templation in the desert. The temptation of a monk to tional ministry because it attacks the thing that likely abandon his spiritual vocation was, for Evagrius, like drew them to ministry in the first place: caring—about failing to care for a deceased family member. He tied people, personal growth and health, and their very call- the term to the “Noonday Demon,” a personification of ing. “When life becomes too challenging and engage- the pestilence described in Psalm 91:5–6: “You will not ment with others too demanding, acedia o!ers a kind fear the terror of night . nor the plague that destroys of spiritual morphine: you know the pain is there, yet at midday.” Acedia, according to Evagrius, described can’t rouse yourself to [care],” writes Kathleen Norris a particular demonic attack aimed at disrupting the in Acedia & Me. attention and inner quietness of a devout Christian. In Evagrius’s day (A.D. 345–399), many Christians That it hurts to care is borne out in etymology, for chose a monastic life modeled on Christ’s 40 days care derives from an Indo-European word meaning in the wilderness. They moved to the desert to free “to cry out,” as in a lament. Caring is not passive, but themselves from distractions so they could do battle an assertion that no matter how strained and messy against the sinful tendencies of their flesh. Yet monks our relationships can be, it is worth something to 14 CTPASTORS.COM SPRING 2020 CTP_S20_Aijian P12.indd 14 2/18/20 1:29 PM ‘‘ EVAGRIUS PONTICUS THE SPIRIT OF ACEDIA DRIVES THE MONK OUT OF HIS CELL, BUT THE MONK WHO POSSESSES PERSEVERANCE WILL EVER CULTIVATE STILLNESS. ” be present, with others, doing our small part. Care Kearney eFree Church in Nebraska, in an article for is also required for the daily routines that acedia Leadership Journal. “It’s about a stage of life in which would have us suppress or deny as meaningless I, as a pastor, have been tempted to exchange my call- repetition or too much bother. ing for a paycheck.” In most English translations of the deadly sins, Acedia’s manifestations may seem innocuous next to acedia is translated as sloth, but the two words don't sins like wrath or lust, but it is no less deadly, because mean the same thing. Acedia can manifest as a lack it draws ministers away from the noble mission of com- of productivity, but it can also become hyperactivity. munion with Christ. Evagrius wrote about monks who “Hyperactivity and sloth are twin sins,” writes Richard went to visit the sick not because they felt true compas- John Neuhaus in Freedom for Ministry. “They are both sion, but as a way of escaping their rooms and the rigors escapes from the daily renegotiation of our ambassa- of prayer and study. “The main issue is not television dorship, from the daily resumption of the pursuit of or Netflix per se,” wrote Adrian Boykin, lead pastor of holiness. Acedia is activism grown weary.” 15 CTP_S20_Aijian P12.indd 15 2/18/20 1:29 PM ACEDIA CAN While a monk may have strained at his window in hopes that someone might visit him, I have a whole MANIFEST AS internet’s worth of distractions available to me when- ever I choose. Not only that, but many of us work in A LACK OF ministry spaces that glorify busyness, rewarding the PRODUCTIVITY, acedious person and quietly disparaging someone who “wastes” too much time in prayerful meditation. BUT IT CAN How can we respond to these temptations to be busy without reason and to escape the di!cult call of God ALSO BECOME for something easier? HYPERACTIVITY. The desert fathers o"er sage advice. Their first rec- ommendation was that the monk su"ering from acedia stay put.