First Edition Copyright © 2008 Kevin Cummings Cover Art by Kevin Cummings All rights reserved. No part of this work covered by the copyright hereon may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means without written permission of the author. Trademarks All terms mentioned in this book that are known to be trademarks or service marks have been appropriately capitalized. The author cannot attest to the accuracy of this information. Use of a term in this book should not be regarded as affecting the validity of any trademark or service mark. www.shortcomingsaudio.com Dedication To my wife for giving me the necessary kick- in-the-seat-of-the-pants to start podcasting, to my sons for providing material, to the podcasting community for encouragement and support, and to my listeners who have been both kind and generous with their praise and support. Table of Contents Introduction................................................................................................................................. 1 Three...Two...One...Contacts! selected by Grammar Girl.............................................................................................................................. 3 Secret Agent Dad! selected by The Eclectic Review................................................................................................................... 8 Civic Planning selected by Comedy4Cast............................................................................................................................ 13 A Rebellious Nature selected by You Are The Guest.................................................................................................................. 18 Return to Romance selected by KidsWifeWorkLife (Chris)...................................................................................................... 24 Cleaning the Fridge selected by KidsWifeWorkLife (Mike)....................................................................................................... 29 Rough Roads Ahead selected by Dancing With Elephants......................................................................................................... 34 Hiking Tips selected by 101 Uses for Baby Wipes......................................................................................................... 39 Parking Mad selected by Tech Talk for Families............................................................................................................. 44 Improperly Motivated selected by Pizza Go Here........................................................................................................................... 49 Irritable Dad Syndrome selected by The Zedcast............................................................................................................................... 54 Random Acts of Giving selected by Tokyo Calling............................................................................................................................ 59 The Mighty Crackberry selected by The Sonic Society (Shannon).................................................................................................. 64 Average, Ordinary, Everyday Superheroes selected by The Sonic Society (Jack).......................................................................................................... 69 Anniversary Presence selected by Short Cummings Audio........................................................................................................... 74 Introduction Let me tell you how I started podcasting...by completely misunderstanding the field. Really. I had taken some lessons in voice acting from Scott Shurian (www.voscott.com) and thought I'd like to take a stab at getting involved in the business. My work schedule wasn't really compatible with building a career in voice acting, so I thought I could strike out on my own. Podcasting seemed to be a good place to start. I figured I could set-up a website, put out a podcast as a sort of calling card, and then offer to record short snippets for podcasters at low prices. I did enough research to find out that there were a few people doing that. What I didn't realize is that a lot of podcasters are doing voice work for each other for free. The only way to charge is if you are really, really good...Don LaFontaine or Harlan Hogan good. I’m not in that league. By the time I realized this, I'd already written the essays for my first ten or so podcasts and I'd recorded the first three. It seemed a shame to go that far and not start releasing the episodes so I took the leap and started the podcast. The podcasting community – particularly the good folks at the Podcast Pickle – were incredibly generous and tremendously helpful. They gave suggestions on everything from content to production to audio quality to release 1 schedules to promotion. I couldn’t have asked for a more helpful bunch of folks when I was starting out. So, when I began contemplating how I might mark my 100th episode, it seemed only natural that I turn to them again. I invited them to choose their favorite episodes for inclusion in this book. As I expected, they responded kindly and this book was shaped by their decisions. Before each essay, I’ve included a brief introduction to the podcaster and provided their web address. All of them produce wonderful, entertaining, and interesting shows and I encourage you to visit their websites to find out more. 2 Three...Two...One...Contacts! selected by Grammar Girl www.quickanddirtytips.com Mignon Fogarty, creator and host of Grammar Girl and founder of the QDNow Network, is a podcaster’s podcaster. A science and technical writer by trade and training, she was one of the first to embrace the power of new media. Her initial podcast was an interview and news program called Absolute Science. With a running time of thirty minutes per episode, producing Absolute Science was no small task. In time, Mignon found that she had to give it up to pursue her freelance career. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to entirely abandon podcasting. Drawing on her experience as a writer, she decided the world was ready for a short podcast on grammar and writing. As it turned out, the world was more than ready...it was eager. In just a few months Mignon had amassed over a million total downloads, gained national press attention, and appeared on Oprah. She parlayed that popularity into an entire sponsor-supported network and a multi-book publishing contract. 3 For the record, any errors in grammar or style you find in this book or on my podcast are entirely my own fault. Listening to Mignon is only half the battle...you’ve also got to apply what you learn. For her selection for this book, Mignon chose Three...Two...One...Contacts! ▫ ▫ ▫ My life is a blur these days. Really. I've traded my reliable (but stodgy) glasses for less reliable (but far more exciting) contacts. Like a lot of guys who try to trade up, I think I may have simply swapped one set of problems for another. I slipped solidly into geekdom at the age of ten when I was fitted with a pair of black-rimmed glasses that had all of the aesthetic appeal and elegance of a spork at formal dinner party. Years passed and my eyes stabilized until I landed on the big square labeled '40' and I couldn't read any more. The nice eye doctor wrote me a prescription for progressives. Through a miracle of modern manufacturing, progressives have two different kinds of lenses forcibly melded into one ineffectual whole; sort of like a compass with a whistle in it, a tent trailer, or low-fat, sugar-free ice- cream. Actually viewing the world through a pair of progressives involves tipping your head back-and-forth, left- and-right until you find the sweet spot for focusing. It's easy to identify progressive-wearers – they're the ones bobbing their heads like demented sand cranes and then fixating on a spot hoping to make the focus last as long as possible. 4 In theory, all you need to do to read with them is tip your nose down toward the page and rotate your eyes in their sockets. In practice, I found it easier to hold the page up high, tip my head back, and stare down over my nose. While holding that posture, I was giving everyone in the room a panoramic tour of my nostrils. As you can imagine, I'm not often invited to give public readings. The indignity of it all didn't bother me as much as the conviction that progressives meant I must be getting old. Like all middle-aged men, I accepted my situation with grace and class by immediately plotting ways to clutch desperately at my fading youth. For two years I flirted with the idea of wearing contacts. My glasses had been my companions through thick and thin for more than three decades. They'd stood up with me at my wedding for crying out loud, but I was willing to toss them aside without a second's thought if it made me feel younger. Contacts were young, hip, sexy – I'd stop hiding behind the double-glazing and face the world openly. All I had to do was figure out how to get the contacts in. Putting on glasses involved one quick, well-practiced motion; swing 'em up, settle 'em on my nose, and I was out the door. In military terms it was a lightning surgical strike. Putting in contacts is more of an extended military campaign which involves air support, ground support, and a modest quantity of chemical weapons. Installing contacts requires carefully removing a contact from its case, matching it to the appropriate eye, squirting it with cleaning solution, rubbing it, carefully balancing