Sex. Sex and swimsuits. more appealing than a Waple in a Because the <> Sex, swimsuits, and wrestling. swimsuit. readership is growing at a tremen- What personifies these “3 S’s” Beavis and Butt-head are dous rate, this notice will almost better than a Waple in a swimsuit? more appealing than a Waple in a always be here. If you’ve already Well, just about anything. swimsuit. read this, just ignore it, otherwise... An apple, for instance. A Your family room wall First, the name. The ‘a’ in ripened apple hanging off the end after you whack a cockroach into Waple is NOT ‘a’ as in apple, or of a branch on a warm summer a pool of goo with a pair of wood ‘a’ as in waffle, but IS ‘a’ as in day is more appealing than a shoes is more appealing than a maple. Just say Way-Pull. Got it? Waple in a swimsuit. Waple in a swimsuit. Well, okay then. Supermodel Kathy Ireland A 7-hour bout with the Just so you know, every- in a swimsuit is more appealing Hershey-squirts and dry-heaves is thing in this newsletter is either than a Waple in a swimsuit. more appealing than a Waple in a fictional or true. There are no right A slug on the sidewalk swimsuit. or wrong answers to anything said after you’ve poured salt on it is Having to kiss someone more appealing than a Waple in a with a festering, puss-covered herein and we are exempt from all swimsuit. canker sore on each lip is more litigations brought against us by A bowl of lard with a hair appealing than a Waple in a way of this disclaimer. If we ever in it is more appealing than a swimsuit. accidentally hurt the feelings of Waple in a swimsuit. Homosexuality is more anyone in this publication, we are A dog with worms, appealing than a Waple in a regretfully sorry and don’t want running through the dirt with its swimsuit. any trouble, so let me just apolo- butt dragging the ground is more Well, that last one was gize now... greatly. appealing than a Waple in a stretching it a bit, but you get the Now that that’s over with... swimsuit. picture. Enjoy. let the festivities begin. Yee ha. A raging case of herpes is What They’re Saying About the Sudden Disappearance of Bill Waple: The Head Guy: Bob The Not-So-Head Guy: Chris “I’m scared... real scared.” “He was short as a wrestler, and Helpful Little Creative Guy: "B" Chic Waple, Brother even shorter as a person.” Other Writing Guys: Larz Wapleton, Leonard Perkins, Fan Dirxque Starbuck Waplepotomus, and posthumously, Chet Wapleboxer “It seems like just two weeks and 3 days ago we Photographer: Robert Waplethorpe were playing tunnel-tag, and now he’s gone. Graphic Artwork: Bob I’ll miss ol’ what’s-his-name” Special Thanks to: Supermodel Alex, The Biff Waple, Brother Wonderful Waple Family, Joe and Bonnie, “It’s probably for the best.” and Every Wrestler Anywhere. Chet Waple, Late Brother “Who gives a f*ck!” WAPLEworld is a monthly publication focusing on Wally “Walla” Waplestaph, Mngr. local wrestling events, and is not affiliated with any during a seance particular wrestling organization. All written materi- al, illustrations and the WAPLEworld name are prop- erty of the Wonderful Waple Brothers and the Wonderful Waple Brothers are property of the pub- lisher. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any way without written consent of the publisher. To order WAPLEworld or to see other WAPLEcrap, visit All character and event names may be the property of their owners. Use of trademarked names in fictitious www.wapleworld.com works are used for satire purposes and not meant to cause harm or humiliation. Well here it is, Wrestlemania Eve, Corporation clash and cause a Hogan. Still others have given up and everyone in Waple World is screw job ending, the match will be completely on the two big federa- anxious to see whether or not the a major failure. Hopefully, tions and worship the ECW out of WWF can take its next big step for- Wrestlemania XI will mark the Philadelphia. As far as this ward. The Diesel/ Shawn Michaels beginning of another decade of wrestling fan is concerned, I hope match and The Smoking Gunns/ WWF excellence.... The WCW has that any and every wrestling show I Owen & ???? match should both be not been doing so well recently. watch is entertaining. To me, the excellent. The other matches Their Pay Per View buy rates have fans are the true winners when two (except the Undertaker/ King Kong been very low, and many fans have or more federations compete to Bundy match) show a lot of been disappointed in the quality of provide the best wrestling around. promise as well. However, the the wrestling since a certain I hope that both the WWF and the match that could make or break the wrestler (we all know who) arrived WCW have a great year, and that entire event is the L.T./ Bam Bam on the scene last June. However, the ECW and SMW come on the match. If L.T. can actually wrestle, things may be turning around for air in Atlanta real soon so I can and he and Bam Bam put several the WCW. Stunning Steve Austin enjoy those promotions as well.... good moves on one another, the is back, Ric Flair may be allowed One last thing before I go: Diesel match will be considered, in my to wrestle again, and Dustin is no longer my hero. He has humble opinion, to be a success. Rhodes won’t be wrestling anytime betrayed bodyguards everywhere However, if L.T. just does a few soon (a big plus!!!). There is also by continuing to hog the spotlight football tackles, or his All-Pro the possibility that both the during his so-called “reign as Team and the Million Dollar Steiners and the Road Warriors will WWF champion.” Shawn’s new be returning in June to make the tag bodyguard, on the other hand, is team situation interesting again. someone I can look up to. Even Add to all of that a possible new though most fans know that he’s Four Horsemen, and the WCW is vicious, they call him Psycho Sid on its way to being entertaining up in New York. Staying with that again.... I’ve noticed that a lot of theme, I’ve decided to rename wrestling fans have been taking myself... LOONEY LARZ!!!!!! sides lately. Some praise Vince It’s my duty to protect Biff Waple, McMahon and the WWF and criti- the Wind-Break Kid. Hahahaha- cize Eric Bischoff and the WCW. hahahahahahahaha...I’ll get back in Others believe Hulkamania is alive my cell now. Ciao for now. and well and that the worst thing the WWF ever did was lose Hulk Dewey Defeats Truman! (Bill Waple Has Disappeared) As an underpaid staff notice. We are quite upset and spent on a bounty hunter. We have member of WAPLEworld, my somewhat hurt by the mysterious hired the bounty hunter to find our work is often read, but rarely am I and deliberate disappearance. We beloved Bill. We believe this man myself allowed to write non-struc- are just starting to get over the is the best in the business, (the tured, non-article material. This trauma of losing him to those sear- bounty hunter, not Bill.) This man issue will be different, and I wish ing jaws of ice that have grown to has been hired by people a lot bet- it could have been so for more life in the Waple freezer. After we ter than us to find things a lot pleasant reasons. (such as a little finish dealing with that, we have more important than Bill. This guy more creative license from the edi- to go back into group therapy and was once hired by the evil Darth tor in chief.) I regret to inform start the healing process again so Vaple to locate a rebellious bunch you, the loyal readers with fully that we can deal with Bill’s sud- of punks that blew up his pad. Yes, paid subscriptions, that our dear den thaw. Now it looks as if we WAPLEworld has hired Wapa Fett brother Bill has gone away. have another day to block out on to seek out and safely return one I probably wouldn’t tell our calendar. A day that will be Bill Waple, (we don’t care which you where he went even if I knew. used to cope with the loss of a one.) It’s not that you’re not allowed to man (so to speak) that was not So, since this is our first know; it’s just that I don’t really only a brother, but a friend. color issue, for those of you that know any of you. (although I do We will not take this loss were willing to lighten the white know your checking account and lying down. We here at knuckle death grip on your wallets credit card numbers.) As far as I WAPLEworld are known for our and horke up the extra fundage, know, and I’m not trying to start legendary courage in the face of we thought we that we should any rumors, Bill might have run despair. We are rumored to have dedicate it to the loving memory off on a sexual tryst with Dirxque taken some money from our of Bill Waple, a brother, a Starbuck’s mom.