EMBRACING NEURODIVERSITY A Compassionate Guide for Parents of children with Autism & Adhd WRITTEN BY ALICIA TRAUTWEIN COPYRIGHT @2017 THE MOM KIND Themomkind.com 1 Embracing Neurodiversity By Alicia Trautwein Table of Contents Prelude…… pg.2 Introduction……pg 6 Why would you want to “cure” autism?......pg 9 What is Neurodiversity? ......pg 10 Embracing Neurodiversity? ......pg 13 What is Autism? ......pg 21 What is ADHD? ......pg 25 What to do after a Diagnosis? ......pg 28 Explaining Autism to your child? ......pg 34 Empowering your child to share their diagnosis on their terms. ......pg 40 Is it wrong to be sad about my child’s diagnosis? ......pg 44 Conclusion......pg 48 Connect with The Mom Kind ......pg 51 2 Prelude: Embracing Neurodiversity is a book that derives from our own experiences. I first set out sharing our journey via our blog, The Mom Kind. With the realization of the lack information out there, it became clear that this concept needed to be offered as an all in one resource to families everywhere! I never thought growing up, that I would one day become an advocate for special needs. After our two youngest were diagnosed with autism just a couple months a part, my life's purpose was finally made clear to me. I found myself front and center in bringing awareness to autism and teaching neurodiversity. There are many websites and books that tell you about raising one child on the spectrum. There are a few that explain neurodiversity, all be it in an overly clinical fashion. Yet almost none exist on raising multiple children on the spectrum or teaching families to embrace neurodiversity! 3 Having a neurodiverse family comes with its own set of dynamics, routines, ups and downs to figure out. Every day is a new adventure for us. Within our family of six, we have the following diagnosis: Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, ADD, Bipolar Disorder, General Mood Disorder, Anxiety, and Speech Delay. As you can see, we overly qualify as a neurodiverse family! Now imagine if you even have a fraction of those recently diagnosed in your home? It can be very overwhelming, maybe you are going through that right now. That’s why my website and this book exist. As an ongoing resource for families in the same boat. Whether you read this all in one setting, or you read bits and pieces while hiding in the bathroom away from you children, my hope is that is not only brings you information, but comfort that you are not in this journey alone! Please, if you ever have any questions or need to vent, reach out to me! I seriously love connecting with my readers and covering ne topics based of their thoughts! I look forward to connecting with you soon! 4 Yours Truly, Alicia Trautwein 5 6 Embracing Neurodiversity “When you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism” – Author Unknown Neurodiversity is not a brand-new concept, yet I knew nothing of it until my two youngest children were diagnosed with autism. Even autism itself, I knew very little about when it comes to the grand scheme of things. Now I find myself front and center with not only the concept of neurodiversity, but teaching others about it to. If you’ve made it this far into this book, I can reasonably assume you have recently discovered the concept of neurodiversity. Simply put, neurodiversity is the most amazing word ever brought into my vocabulary. When you are done with this book, it will be the same for you! 7 Chances are, you may have already been scouring the internet trying to find out everything you can about autism, adhd, or neurodiversity. You have probably found a ton of basic information on the first two, and very little on the third. Thankfully, a lot that you have found on autism/adhd will probably have been empowering. Some of it might have been depressing, other things may have made you down right angry. I get it. It was in those feelings that led me the discovering neurodiversity and realizing that I already embraced the concept within my everyday life. Though I embraced this concept now known as neurodiversity, many do not. I do not believe that it is because they are against neurodiversity, autism, adhd, or any other neurodiverse mind. I truly believe it is because of a lack of knowledge. How can you embrace something you know nothing about? 8 9 Why would you want to “cure” autism? Never once have I thought of trying to “cure” my children of their autism or adhd. The purpose of gaining a diagnosis was to provide them with the proper resources to be successful in life. Through therapies, educations, and medication for co-existing diagnosis. I fully admit that the concept that someone could even separate autism from the person is very abstract to me, and unrealistic. With our son, there has never been a moment in his life where we didn’t believe autism existed. Whether you call it intuition, God’s intervention, or something else, I just knew. So, the concept of trying to separate our son from autism just sounds absurd. He is the most awesome little guy I have ever met. (Note: I may be slightly biased here, lol!) His quirks and bluntness are what make him unique and amazing. With our daughter, she was eight by time we knew she had autism. We had known something was 10 different about her. Funny part was, it had never once crossed anyone’s mind that she was autistic. Her uncle is autistic, and her Nana didn’t even realize it. Autism is extremely different in girls, but that’s a whole other book! Anyways, she had been seeing doctors for over three years by time we found one who told us she had autism. Once we received that diagnosis, it just made sense. Her love of art and creating things, her lack of understanding of sarcasm, her goofy quirky personality that makes anyone smile. It’s because autism is a mark of her genetic makeup and who she is. Once again, it never crossed my mind to try to “cure” her autism. Autism is just as much a part of who they are as their hair color and eye color. Sure, would life be easier on them if they didn’t have any “differences”, probably. That’s just not the reality though. Autism is a part of who they are and it gives them some awesome strengths that many don’t have! So why would you want to “cure” the autism from them? I have always known that the way I think is different than most. I see a lot of things as “black 11 and white.” My brain has always worked much like a puzzle. I come across as bossy, blunt, and harsh at times. I am also very loving, considered highly intelligent, and very kind. It was through researching autism and neurodiversity that I realized I myself am on the autism spectrum. So, it kind of makes sense how I don’t understand why you would want to “cure” autism. It also makes sense on why I am much more inclined to not only embrace neurodiversity, but to explain it to others. 12 13 What Is Neurodiversity? Neurodiversity, is the shortened term for neurological diversity. This term is the diversity of the human mind and all variations of cognitive functioning. This covers Autism Spectrum Disorder (Asperger’s, Autism, PDD-NOS), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Dyslexia, Dysplasia, and others. In Layman’s terms: We all know that skin tone, hair color, and eye color are all normal variances of people. Just like biodiversity, and like cultural diversity, neurodiversity is an acceptance that all neurological status are also normal variances. It is about accepting our differences, and finding ways to work together. 14 Neurodiversity Movement The Neurodiversity movement is an international civil rights movement that helps to promote self- advocacy of neurodiverse individuals. The largest influencing group of this campaign is the autism rights movements. The Neurodiversity Movement was started by autistic individuals who stood to oppose the idea that autism and other such disorders are something to be cured. Those who advocate for neurodiversity work to have neurodiverse individuals involved can live their lives as they are instead of changing to societal norms and ideals. Neurodiverse Families 15 The core focus of neurodiverse families is to celebrate the strength and abilities of each family member. Though there are families that contain primarily neurotypical individuals and one non- neurotypical, it is nor the majority. Most families that have one neurodiverse family member, normally have others as well (sometimes with very different diagnosis!). Let’s use our family as an example: “I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and recently discovered I myself have Aspergers. My husband was diagnosed with ADD as a child. We have four children in our home. His oldest has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Our oldest together is ADHD, our middle daughter has Autism and ADHD, and our toddler son has Autism. We are a VERY neurodiverse family” 16 Embracing Neurodiversity Parents and Caregivers who embrace neurodiversity can stop looking for a cure or reason, and start working on encouraging their children strengths and help balance working with the weaknesses. Instead of having your child conform to other’s standards, you’re able to help them achieve success in their lives. Many neurodiverse children (and adults) are reminded so often of the limitations surrounding their diagnosis. An unintentional outcome of this is these children rarely get the chance to achieve.