University of Montana ScholarWorks at University of Montana Graduate Student Theses, Dissertations, & Professional Papers Graduate School 2003 "And I never looked back": Adolescent girls and women who end a dating relationship after a single violent assault Alison M. Cobb The University of Montana Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.umt.edu/etd Let us know how access to this document benefits ou.y Recommended Citation Cobb, Alison M., ""And I never looked back": Adolescent girls and women who end a dating relationship after a single violent assault" (2003). Graduate Student Theses, Dissertations, & Professional Papers. 5443. https://scholarworks.umt.edu/etd/5443 This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate School at ScholarWorks at University of Montana. It has been accepted for inclusion in Graduate Student Theses, Dissertations, & Professional Papers by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks at University of Montana. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Maureen and Mike MANSFIELD LIBRARY The University of Mmtamai Permission is granted by the author to reproduce this material in its entirety, provided that this material is used for scholarly purposes and is properly cited in published works and reports. **Please check "Yes" or "No" and provide signature** Yes, I grant permission No, I do not grant permission Author's Signature: Any copying for commercial purposes or financial gain may be undertaken only with the author's explicit consent. 8/98 ‘And I never looked back”: Adolescent Girls and Women who End a Dating Relationship after a Single Violent Assault by Alison M. Cobb B.A., Hood College, 1993 presented in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts The University of Montana 2003 Approved by: nrperson Dean, Graduate School Date UMI Number: EP40907 All rights reserved INFORMATION TO ALL USERS The quality of this reproduction is dependent upon the quality of the copy submitted. In the unlikely event that the author did not send a complete manuscript and there are missing pages, these will be noted. Also, if material had to be removed, a note will indicate the deletion. Diwmstto WMsMfig UMI EP40907 Published by ProQuest LLC (2014). Copyright in the Dissertation held by the Author. Microform Edition © ProQuest LLC. All rights reserved. This work is protected against unauthorized copying under Title 17, United States Code ProQuest LLC. 789 East Eisenhower Parkway P.O. Box 1346 Ann Arbor, Ml 48106- 1346 Abstract Cobb, Alison M., December 2003 Psychology “And I never looked b a cAdolescent k Girls and Women who End a Dating Relationship after a Single Violent Assault (165 pp.) Director: Jennifer Waltz, Ph.D. j y ' of While there has been much research on why women stay in abusive relationships, little is known about why some leave immediately, after a single violent incident. This qualitative study takes a grounded theory approach to explore this question through interviews with ten female undergraduate students. Their aggregate story is of a troubled relationship; a verbally abusive boy; a confident girl who suffered a self-esteem blow during the relationship but is regaining her independence; an incident that is severe enough to prompt her to critically examine her relationship and to seek help from friends or parents; and a break-up that boosts her self-esteem. Important factors uncovered in this study provide focus for future quantitative research, and findings such as the importance of social support have implications for prevention and intervention programs. Acknowledgments I have many people to thank for their help in bringing my research to this point. My thesis committee members, Drs. Kim Wallace, Chris Fiore, and Bari Burke, expressed enthusiasm for my nascent idea and gave wise counsel throughout the research and writing process. Dr. Jennifer Waltz, my advisor and committee chair, was the first to suggest that single-incident violence is an area deserving of research. Although this quantitative psychologist felt that thinking about qualitative research was “like putting on someone else’s underpants,” she supported me wholeheartedly in my method of choice. She has guided me well through the entire process. Whether our editing sessions were on the floor of her new son’s nursery, in my living room, or in an actual office, they were always encouraging, challenging, and fun in equal parts. I have much gratitude to the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation and the University of Montana Coalition on Sexual Assault for their financial support, and to the Montana AAUW members who greeted my research with so much excitement. I also thank the other groups I spoke to about this study; their questions always gave me perspective and their engagement in the idea renewed my own passion. I thank my three classmates and fellow Fail-to-Rejects, Jayde Pryzgoda, Wendy Rothman, and Donna Ryngala, for their moral support and curiosity about my work. I thank my mother, who taught me the “one strike and you’re out” policy on dating violence when I was in high school, and my father, who suggested a key question be added to my interview protocol. Pat Ortmeyer, who has been editing my work for most of the last decade, was an enormous help. She caught typos, showed me computer tricks to improve my graphics, and asked insightful questions that forced me to take a new perspective on my work. I thank Kathy Vaughan, for all the dinners cooked and dishes washed so I could stay in my office and write, and for persuading me to interrupt my coding to marry her. Finally, I thank the fourteen women who shared their stories with me. They allowed me to probe, pick apart and analyze some of their most private experiences, out of a conviction that it would help other women. For their generosity I am deeply grateful. It was just a lot of regret.. .and then I got mad and said, you know, screw that, it’s not my fault, it’s his fault. And I was never gonna give him a chance to do that, ever again. —Nora You do not hit people. —Deb This research was conducted with the support of the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation and The University of Montana Coalition on Sexual Assault. Table of Contents Abstract ..................................................................................................................................ii Acknowledgments ...................................................................................................................... iii List of Tables and Figures ....................................................................................................... viii “Teen Dating Violence” Defined...........................................................................................1 Prevalence................................................................................................................................ 2 How TDV Changes Relationships........................................................................................ 4 Predictors of Leaving..............................................................................................................7 Definition of Acceptable Behavior................................................................................... 8 Relationship Commitment............................................................................................... 11 Expectations of Recurrence............................................................................................. 14 Severity...............................................................................................................................15 Role Models.......................................................................................................................16 Self-esteem......................................................................................................................... 19 Assertiveness......................................................................................................................20 Perpetrator Factors............................................................................................................22 Summary of the Literature................................................................................................... 23 Additional Factors of Interest..............................................................................................24 Purpose of the Current Study...............................................................................................25 A Qualitative Approach........................................................................................................26 Analytical Approach.............................................................................................................28 The Researcher’s Perspective..............................................................................................28 M ethod........................................................................................................................................29 Overview................................................................................................................................ 29 v Participants.............................................................................................................................30 Recruitment Strategies......................................................................................................30