The Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training Foreign Affairs Oral History Program Foreign Service Spouse Series PENELOPE (PENNE) LAINGEN Interviewed by: Jewell Fenzi Initial interview date: March 27, 1986 TABLE OF CONTENTS Mrs. aingen accompanied her husband, Ambassador owell Bruce aingen, on his State Department Assignments in Washington, DC and abroad. Personal Background Born in Michigan Randolph Macon College )eorge Washington University Married William Bruce aingen 19,7 The role of the Foreign Service wife Unhappiness with 197. Directive on Spouses Change in responsibilities of wives of Ambassadors Treatment of junior wives 0Radical chic1 views Dangers of e2cess privilege Supporting the 0policy line1 0How to be an Ambassador3s wife1 manual Spouse Report The 0dragon lady1 ambassador3s wife Washington separation allowance No more wives3 0efficiency reports1 Tandem assignments Present lack of 0partnership1 0Married to the Ambassador1, not 0the Ambassador3s wife1 Women3s Action )roup 5WAO6 198, Spouse Report Family iaison Office 5F O6 etter to State Maga8ine Foreign Service Associates 9unior and senior officers3 wives role Role of the husband in marriage 1 Washington, DC 19,7-1960 Karachi, Pakistan 1960-1964 American Women3s Club charitable activities Health problems iving difficulties Environment Visit of 9ackie Kennedy Washington, DC 1964-1966 Washington, DC 1967-1968 Kabul, Afghanistan 1968-1970 American Women3s Club activities ocal hospital assistant Washington, DC 1971-1976 Red Cross Driver Church and school activities Founder, Family liaison Action )roup 5F A)6 Philanthropic organi8ation activities Many activities with the Association of American Foreign Service Wives 5AAFSW6 State Department meeting on FSO wives3 at post Hierarchy among spouses Valetta, Malta 1977-1979 Head, charitable and social organi8ations and activities Honorary Member of Maltese Societies F O Community iaison Officer Comments on 0new1 role of wife of Ambassador ocal customs and diplomatic protocol Washington, DC, Husband at Teheran Embassy 1979-1981 ChargA 5Ambassador6 aingen held hostage in Teheran Personal views of Iran Hostage crisis Iran Hostage Task Force Center Family iaison Action )roup 5F A)6 Cellow ribbon campaign Public attitude re hostage crisis Personal feeling of responsibility Failed rescue attempt . Restrictions on foreign travel of wives of hostages iaison with State Department Handling the media Publication of message to President Carter Family Politics Responsibilities to families of hostages Anger and despair Personal diary Hostages in ebanon Need for leadership ack of State Department support )eorgetown Symposium Spouse Report Chapman Co2 Foundation financial support Hostages3 welcome home Iran Working )roup 0Uncaring31 trend Washington, DC 1981-1986 Post Career Counseling Course INTERVIEW Sub/ectE The role of the spouse in the Foreign ServiceE The Iran Hostage Crisis Q: Penne filled tw sides f tw ne-h ur tapes. She talked fr m 10 'cl ck until after 12, and I am hardly n the tape at all. She did m st f the talking. She was articulate and em ti nal. I'd never met her bef re, and it was a charming e,perience f r me, because she was the first pers n that I d n t kn w wh I interviewed. AIN)ENE A lot of women feel very strongly and theyFve had to be Guiet, because of the new ways that are coming along in the Foreign Service. They are out -- they are retired -- yet they feel very strongly 5about certain changes6. Q: But that's when y u can speak ut...when y ur sp use has n career vulnerability. AIN)ENE 5laughs6 IFm waiting. This is premature. Q: .ell, actually, if he's retiring ne,t year, this /interview0 w n't g int print until after he's ut f the Service, and we d guarantee every ne. AIN)ENE But the funny thing is that the older I get I donFt really care. I mean, I do feel 3 wives can make a difference, but I donFt think they can make or break their husbandsF careers. If heFs got it, heFs got it. If he doesnFt...itFs too bad. Cou know, a lot of wives are much smarter than their husbandsH No, what I was going to say about Malta 5where my husband was ambassador6 was that we were the last family there, in a country that is 100I Catholic and very family- oriented. 5We were succeeded by a woman ambassador without family and then a male ambassador who was divorced. I used to think that more care should be taken in the kind of representation we send to various countries, which would show a certain sensitivity to the host government and culture6. We were a family 5which was important to the Maltese6, and even though it was in 1977 and I had, more or less, been told that I had been given my freedom -- I didnFt have any responsibilities even though I was the ambassadorFs wifeJ they werenFt my responsibilities, they were my husbandFs. Cou know, that was the attitude of the seventies -- I nevertheless went ahead with what I had to do and with what I was asked to do. But I didnFt reali8e the seething anger that I was feeling, until finally F O came along and they said there was some talk about rewriting the Directive. I think it came out of the Forum Report of 1977 where people were so unhappy with the Directive. So, the ladies in the American community 5in Malta6 and I sat down and wrote a paper to F O, and we felt, yes, the Directive should be rewritten to include those of us who really didnFt have the freedom that others had 5to do Kour own thingK6. Now, I notice in this paper of yours, here, which I thought was very interesting, where you say one lady talked to the ChargA3s wife and you told her that she cannot take over the C O position until the ambassador comes. In other words, an ambassadorFs wife is still locked out of having employment. Is that... Q: Apparently s . I d n't have the 23O's Standard Operating Pr cedures, but as I recall I researched that bef re I put it in that letter and it did say that the wife f the 2hief f Missi n c uld n t be 23O. And I tell y u why. It w uld be c nflict f interest, because she w uld be w rking f r her husband. AIN)ENE Well, I know, but see how hypocritical that is -- the official policy -- in regard to ambassadorsF wives particularly. And this is what really stuck in my craw, because if weFre being told in 197. that weFre as free as anybody else to be our own person and this is being encouraged in society when youFre at home, to get out and get your own job, your own financial base, the Cinderella Couple and all this, but you have been preparing for twenty years to take over this role of leadership and suddenly -- how can you be a leader when the troops have mutiniedL ThereFs nobody to lead and 5thereFs no recognition that an ambassadorFs wife does not have the same options that others do6. ItFs a very hypocritical situation. I was sort of amused, in a way, by the incident recently when the 5Canadian6 AmbassadorFs wife slapped her social secretary. It was very interesting to me, because it recalled a time, going way back to my beginning in the Foreign Service. I mean, perhaps 4 that slap should have been placed on the jowls of the Ambassador or the visiting 5Canadian6 Prime Minister or even, symbolically speaking, on the System. Because the social secretary is paid to get it right, but the ambassadorFs wife, if something goes wrong, gets the blame. So, thereFs something wrong with that System, it seems to me. But, anyway, it reminded me of when I was in Pakistan, which was really my most difficult post. I had never been overseas. We went with a two-year-old and I had a baby there and a miscarriage. I had every kind of parasite known to man. I was going to name my children after them, you know -- Amoebia-sis, )iardia -- I thought they were lovely namesH 5laughs6 Q: Did y u name them6 AIN)ENE Noooo 5laughs6. Q: Of which they are eternally grateful /laughs0. AIN)ENE And the servants were just rock bottom as far as training and cultural differences. It was the most difficult postH And I remember a particular day the electricity went off all over town and stayed off all day, so therefore the air-conditioning was out. Our kitchen was 1.0 degrees and it looked like the Black Hole of Calcutta, because it had a kerosene stove which I couldnFt cook on and I didnFt know how to and the walls were covered with soot. My si2th cook had Guit that day when I asked him to rinse out some table napkins. He said KI donFt do dhobi workK and he walked out. My two-year-old had five-inch worms coming out of his little bottom, which made me weak in the knees, my baby had a staph infection, which he had picked up in the hospital, great big sores all over him at three weeks old, I had a breast infection, so I didnFt feel so hot, and the bossFs wife had called me and reprimanded me for being late the day before to a party at the Residence and the toilet had backed up and was flowing into the front yard, 5it was an absolute cess pool6. Well, it was just one thing after another, when my husband called from the air- conditioned Embassy and he informed me that he was bringing out Tish Baldridge that evening for dinner.