INTRODUCING MIAMI & THE KEYS THIS IMAGE IS NOT AVAILABLE DUE TO COPYRIGHT RESTRICTIONS Miami Beach (p57), bound by waters emerald and azure Little known fact: on the Eighth Day, God shook all the eccentrics of America into the nation’s Southeast corner pocket. And They Became South Florida. And It Was Weird. Here’s how it works: cruise down I-95 from the northeast corridor and at some point, near Rich- mond, you cross the invisible line separating the North from the South. Now go further, all the way to America’s tip. Somewhere around Orlando, you crossed another line, separating the rest of Florida from reality. Here in Miami, the Everglades and the Keys, things are a little Alice in Sweaty Wonderland. It’s the weather, y’know; all the humidity and hurricanes drive everyone a little crazy. And the alligators. And the mosquitoes, goddamn them. And the people, of course. What was once a citrus farming town is now a pan-American mosaic, the most Latin city in the world north of Mexico. Throw in enterprising Caribbean immigrants, Jewish Holocaust survivors and their children, a fantabulous gay party scene, mad rednecks, the cast-off spawn of the dinosaur age cruising local waterways, and a South Beach celebrity scene that would make OK! magazine wee itself in joy, and, well…Look guys: it’s weird here. And beautiful. Think of those clean lines slimming down a deco hotel on Miami Beach. The impossibly sexy people lining up at a Fort Lauderdale club. That pale full moon making love to the Everglades on a dank, sweaty night. Which isn’t to say modern Miami lacks problems. This international city has both the cheerful energy and hungry Third World edge of the Caribbean and Latin America. Economic inequality is rampant, and the grandiose spirit of American capitalism has mixed with Miami’s Latin/Medi- terranean flair, making the gulf between the haves and have-nots here seem particularly vast. 2 But that shimmering mirage of wealth and sex is also what makes this town so fun and fast. ‘The World is Yours’ was the iconic catchphrase of Scarface, a movie that captured the highs and lows of Miami’s hyperextravagant 1980s, and the citizens of this town have taken that motto to heart. West of here is the Everglades, possibly the most unique ecosystem in North America, a flooded wetland that feels like nature’s own musty womb. To the north, Fort Lauderdale sips a martini by its yachting fleets. Down south stretch the mangrove islands and sultry sandbars of the Florida Keys, islands of both exile and refuge for those nonconformists who are too out there for even South Florida’s misfit mentality. Sounds good? Come on down. The air feels like a silk kiss and the beach smells like lotion and hormones. Welcome to Miami. The party started five minutes ago. You gonna dance? CITY LIFE Today, middle-class Miamians dream of being able to live in Miami. The ‘Magic City’ has become a murderously expensive one, and buying a good home in Miami proper is often beyond the means of teachers, policemen and other essential workers. Far-off areas like Kendall are now fast-growing residential neighborhoods; the incredibly distant SW 200 blocks are today’s outer suburbs. To re-center the city and compete for tourists with ever-popular Miami Beach, the city of Miami wants to turn ragged Downtown into an urban center that will be the envy of other American cities. In South Beach, deco architecture has become a vehicle of urban rebirth. Downtown Miami is pin- ning its hopes on cultural venues: the Arsht Center for the Performing Arts, Cisneros Fontanal Arts Foundation and the conversion of blighted Bicentennial Park into Museum Park, which will house new art and science museums. A fresh stadium for the new ‘Miami’ Marlins will replace the old Orange Bowl and (city officials hope) spruce up Little Havana, but the biggest new arrival could be thousands of Cubans, depending on when, if ever, the Castro brothers’ regime comes to a close. Miami feels like a city on the edge. Political changes in Latin America continue to have repercussions in this most Latin of cities. Economically, it seems Miami will become either a town split between patricians and poverty, or a first-class city that lets its own citizens in on the good life it promises to the rest of the world. Sunshine, blue skies, palm trees and blades...welcome to Ocean Drive, Miami Beach (p57) 3 GETTING STARTED Miami is a city made for tourists, staffed by folks who abase themselves before tourists as if they were Greek Gods. As long as you can pay, expect some serious tropical coddling and cuddling. Unfortunately, this town still manages to aggravate. There can be snooty and/or self-absorbed attitude at some hotels and restaurants (although even the most upscale joints have realized that you don’t make money by pissing off potential customers). Driving through heavy traffic and around frequent construction sucks almost as much as the state of the city’s public transportation. In general, as in many things American, you can expect a very high level of service off the bat, although long-term consideration is sometimes lacking. GETTING STARTED The Keys are more laid-back, although their small size makes advance booking for lodging and eating advisable. WHEN TO GO FESTIVALS Learn this word: snowbird. That’s Florid- No matter when you choose to make your way WHEN TO GO TO WHEN ian for ‘folks who migrate south to escape to Miami, you’re bound to find something fun the northern winter’, and we have a feel- going on – especially in high season, when ing you’ll be joining the flock. Yes, there’ll folks flock here to escape the cold and play in be crowds, but consider fighting them, as the sun. For information on official holidays, Miami’s year-round heat and humidity gets see p246. And see p155 for more extensive infor- downright hellish come summer. Tempera- mation on arts and entertainment festivals. tures regularly top 90°F (32°C) from about June through September, and local mosqui- January toes have a series of fecund orgies, which is The beginning of the new year also happens to why the tourism industry experiences a lull be the height of the tourist season in these parts. during this time. It’s not unusual, though, Expect fair weather, crowds of visitors, higher for Miami to experience bouts of chilliness prices than usual and a slew of special events. (though locals and weather presenters alike New Year’s Eve brings fireworks and festivals to keep this info close to their chests). In mid- South Beach and Downtown’s bay front. winter, temperatures can often dip into the low 40s at night, and hover in the barely warm 50s during the day – despite unwaver- FEDEX ORANGE BOWL FOOTBALL ing forecasts that claim ‘tomorrow will bring GAME highs in the 70s!’ If it’s between December %305-341-4700; www.orangebowl.org; Pro Player and February, don’t believe that until you Stadium, 2269 NW 199th St, Opa-Locka feel it, and be sure to pack for a variety of In early January, flocks of football fanatics possibilities. descend on Pro Player Stadium in Opa- HURRICANE FORECASTING Though Miami has been lucky in recent years, the threat of a hurricane, during a season that lasts from June through November, is always looming – and memories of past destruction make that a very scary threat indeed. The most devastating hurricane to ever rip through town was back in 1926, when a mighty storm destroyed much of the city (leaving around 300 people dead). Other biggies were on Labor Day in 1935, killing 400 people, and 1992’s Hurricane Andrew. While a nasty series of storms wreaked serious havoc on most of South Florida in 2004, Miami got off easy with just minimal damage. But is the worst still to come? If so, the National Hurricane Center (NHC) hopes to minimize the damage, as it’s focused on tracking these storms as early as possible and then issuing warnings, allowing folks to prepare. The NHC uses sophisticated tracking methods, including satellite photography and advanced computer systems; as of 2005 these systems became faster than ever, with strong backups and a processing speed that has jumped from 450 billion calculations per second to a whopping 1.3 trillion. It’s heady stuff, but comforting, especially to the residents of the vulnerable Miami area. Just ask those folks who were evacuated in time from the disastrous flooding that swamped the Keys during Hurricane Wilma. 12 Locka for the Orange Bowl, the Superbowl lonelyplanet.com of college football. ART DECO WEEKEND %305-672-2014; www.artdecoweekend.com; Ocean Dr between 1st & 23rd Sts UNIQUE EVENTS This weekend fair featuring guided tours, King Mango Strut ( p15 ) Old-school Coconut concerts, classic-auto shows, sidewalk Grove: wacky and fun. cafés, and vendors of arts and antiques is South Florida Dragon Boat Festival ( p15 ) Chow held in mid-January. on lo mein and watch festive dragon boats race along the waterway. KEY BISCAYNE ART FESTIVAL Carnaval Miami ( p14 ) Early March brings this festival – 10 days of parades, fashion shows and %305-361-0049; Crandon Blvd, Key Biscayne GETTING STARTED Held in late January since the early 1960s, concerts, ending with an over-the-top fest along this is a showcase of more than 150 local Calle Ocho. artists, from painters to glass blowers. Goombay Festival ( p14 ) Skip the Bahamas and head to Miami in the first week of June for this colorful Caribbean food and arts fest.