Happy New Year From The AOKA January 2009 By Grandmaster Mitch Kobylanski, AOKA President Well 2009 has arrived and as we look around it is very easy to get sucked into the vortex of Martial Inspiration doom and gloom. The economy has hit a new low and many of our instructors, black belts and students are facing uncertainty in the job market. Popcorn Please Without much effort, we can all get on the bandwagon and agree that this is going to be a bad, depressing year. This is where I will have to disagree. I see this as a very good year Just Do It! for Isshinryu and the AOKA in particular. The martial art that we have all chosen, has made each and everyone of us accomplish things that none of us even conceived possible Warrior College just a short time ago. Summit With that being said, this year will without a doubt be challenging. Many of our students or their parents will lose their jobs or have their working hours cut back. This will have a po- tential negative impact on your dojo’s membership unless you use some innovative ways to help them during these trying times. One way could be to have a special class once a month or twice a month where these stu- dents can come at either no cost or very little cost to keep their techniques and katas honed. This could maintain their level of expertise and not lose sight of everything that they have accomplished so far. It will also keep them in the wings until things turn around. As an organization, the board has decided to divide up responsibilities so that we have a more concentrated effort. Grand Master Young will be working with international dojos interested in joining the AOKA, Grand Master Mady will concentrate on working with and bringing in new dojos in Canada and I will work with dojos in the U.S. Although we will be heading up the effort, in turn we will enlist help from other high ranking Dans. In closing, life is what we make of it. We all should make the decision that no matter what The Makiwara is published we face, we will approach it like a warrior and fight until we win. Please join me in once every two months or as making this a year to remember. required by the AOKA. The Makiwara is property of the AOKA. Contents may not be Black Belt in Parenting reproduced or used in another By Master HC Butch McLaughlin, Rokudan, Charlotte, NC publication without express written permission from the When we think about earning a black belt we of course are reminded of the trials and rigors AOKA. Deadline for submis- that a martial arts student endures to reach that coveted prize. We might even think of the sion is the end of the month business world that has taken to using this icon of achievement to give accolade to those prior to publication. AOKA members of all levels are in- who have mastered the art of Six Sigma quality management strategies. vited to submit articles for The Makiwara. But can you become a black belt in parenting? First of all disavow yourself from any no- Please send questions, com- tion that a black belt is someone that knows everything. So with that burden gone, visualize ments or contributions to the what you would like to see your relationship with your child be like. Quality time spent Newsletter Committee to have sharing…respectful… friendly… loving… etc. In this article series you will explore what answered in the next edition: this means, using martial arts principles of training you will earn your black belt in parent- ing. [email protected] (Continued on page 2) The Makiwara Page 2 (Black Belt in Parenting -Continued from page 1) and faster and, as parents, many view their children as “smarter then they.” In turn this message is conveyed to There are a number of steps to take towards these goals. the child. While it may be true in some cases the child The first is to establish a relational hierarchy. Too often does not yet possess the experience or wisdom to make as parents we let ourselves get pulled into a “friendship” decisions on behalf of themselves or other members of relationship far too soon in the child’s development. their family; therefore, regardless of the child’s IQ, the Once the relationship is solidified, the love and respect hierarchy must remain, the parent must make a decision loses the unconditional quality that exists between parent and the child must trust the parent and follow those direc- and child. When you then attempt to modify that rela- tions. Trust has to be cultivated. tionship in order to properly address punishable behavior, the respect has never cultivated and the act will cause the What If I’ve already started this habit? same grief as the loss of a friend, through a move. Break it immediately. Be very matter of fact with the In the martial arts, a structural hierarchy is used in terms child. “I’ve realized that I haven’t been parenting you as of belt ranks, as well as assistant instructors, instructors, much as I’ve tried to be your friend. As much as I love teachers and masters. In doing this the student under- you this isn’t the best way for our family to function.” stands their role at all times. The expectations of that role Then explain how things will change. Start in areas that are very clear, and it enables them to grow and flourish. often cause conflict and arguments (bed time, homework, Verses an unstructured hierarchy leads a student to ques- practice, etc.). tion authority based on incomplete knowledge. Children crave structure and despite rebelling against it As parents, if a lack of hierarchy exists, and children see from time to time they prefer it. Would you want to play themselves on the same level as the parent, it can lead to football with no rules? No officials? Maybe, as long as disobedience, disrespect, and danger to the child. Each things are going your way! As soon as problems arise, successive generation seems to gain knowledge sooner there has to be structure to restore order. Musings on Finding a Sensei By Robert Judd, Ikkyu, Charleston, SC Finding a Sensei can be a very trying experience. In Mar- at least for me. After beginning my Isshinryu training al- tial Arts mythology, the Sensei is a titanic individual: a most 26 years ago, I have finally found my Sensei. I have person of great strength, strong morals, vast martial finally found the person who I trust well enough to allow knowledge, great fighting prowess, and the ability to leap him to break pine boards over my arm, leg, and stomach. tall buildings. Most of the time people are disappointed when they realize that their teacher, while proficient in the Martial Arts, is not able to leap tall buildings and As part of my Ikkyu test, I was required to perform San- fight off an army angry ninjas. When the wool is re- chin kata and to have Sensei break boards over me. When moved from their eyes, these students often stop their I would tell people that I was preparing for this part of the training. They will come up with a myriad of excuses. test, they would shake their heads and ask, “Why are you However, seldom will they state the truth: reality did not letting him do that to you? Are you nuts?” At first, I did- meet their expectations. n’t pay much attention to the comments. I was too caught up in my prep. However, late at night, with my gi hang- ing near my futon, my mind would dwell on the question, I have always felt that the relationship between a Sensei “Why are you letting him do that to you?” For a couple and a student should be a two-way street. Neither should of nights, the question ate at me. I could come up with a hold ridiculous expectations of the other. The Sensei will bunch of reasons: I need to do this for the next rank; not walk on water and the student will not worship the every other Ikkyu went through this; Sensei went through ground upon which the Sensei walks. Rather, this and I have to. None of these answers really helped quiet my mind. there should be mutual respect and trust. The key is trust, (Continued on page 3) Page 3 The Makiwara (Musings on Finding a Sensei - Continued from page 2) also had to trust himself and his own judgment. I had to do the same: I had to trust myself. Then it hit me: Sensei trusted me and I trusted him. I know this may sound like a no-brainer, but it was a major The test went well. I still have the boards that were bro- revelation for me. For the first time in my martial arts ken over me. When people ask why I keep them, I sim- life I realized that there was mutual trust. Sensei would ply tell them that it’s how I found my Sensei. Most don’t not break the boards over me if he did not think I was understand, but one person looked at me and the boards ready. No matter how much I might have wanted it, if and said, “I know. It’s all about trust.” I nodded.