Wednesday, August 31, 2005 Fermilab Arts Series: Natalie On the Job with Payroll: MacMaster Working Hard for the Money Wednesday, August 31 3:30 p.m. Director's Coffee Break - 2nd Flr X-Over 4:00 p.m. Fermilab Colloquium - 1 West Speaker: S. Long, University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign Title: The Direct Effects of Atmospheric Change on Vegetation - From Gene Expression to Crop Production in the Fermilab kicks off the 2005-2006 season with Payroll is a very tight-knit group, which allows Field for exceptional teamwork and a relaxed Canadian fiddle and step-dancing sensation, atmosphere. (Left to right): Bonnie Consalvo, Note: The 11:00 a.m. Fermilab ILC R&D Natalie MacMaster on Saturday, September LindaSue Smith, Noell Healy, Evangeline de meeting has been cancelled Jesus, Ronald Pahl, Mary Tolian, and Tina 17, 2005 at 8 p.m. in Fermilab's Ramsey Elmore. (Click on image for larger version.) Auditorium. Ask any Fermilab employee what their Thursday, September 1 Natalie MacMaster first picked up a fiddle favorite department is, and chances are 3:30 p.m. Director's Coffee Break - at the age of nine and has never looked you will hear, "Payroll!" Part of Business 2nd Flr X-Over back. After winning numerous East Coast Services Section's Accounting 4:00 p.m. Accelerator Physics and Music Awards for her early traditional Department, Payroll is responsible for Technology Seminar - recordings, she began taking Celtic music processing employee time sheets and 1 West to new heights with albums like In My ensuring employees are paid in a timely Speaker: H. Tomizawa, SPring-8, Japan Hands, which featured elements of jazz manner. Not an easy task considering the Title: R&D on RF-Gun Photoemission and Latin music, and guest vocals by lab employs more than 2,000 employees Sources at SPring-8 Alison Krauss. Natalie received both a and the Payroll Group is a staff of seven. Note: There will be no Theoretical Grammy nomination and Juno Award for Physics Seminar this week Best Instrumental Album for My Roots With only six full time and one summer employee, Payroll is a tight-knit group. Are Showing. She has shared the stage with Carlos Santana, The Chieftains, Paul "Teamwork is our top priority," said group Mostly Sunny 81º/61º Simon, Luciano Pavarotti, Alison Krauss, leader Ron Pahl. "If someone is out of the Mark O'Conner and dozens of office or tied up with something else, Extended Forecast distinguished symphony orchestras. another person has to be able to jump in." That will become easier next year, when Weather at Fermilab Natalie's live performances are a the laboratory plans to upgrade to an testament to her incandescent electronic Time and Labor system. "With musicianship and boundless energy, the more sophisticated system, we will be able to cut down on the manual labor Secon Level 3 featuring foot-tapping rave-ups, heart- stopping ballads, and world-class step needed in the time collection process as dancing. Her national and international well as provide management with more tours have proven that she is as equally detail," Pahl explained. adept at setting the house on fire with her Wednesday, August 31 exceptional band as she is at hypnotizing Electronic direct deposit has eliminated - Italian Wedding with Meatballs a crowd while alone in the spotlights. Her many headaches for both Payroll and - Diner-Style Patty Melt band members are Brad Davidge, guitars, employees. There are still a handful of - Chicken A la Mer vocals; John Chiasson, bass, vocals; employees who haven't signed up for - Beef & Broccoli Allan Dewar, piano, keyboards; Matt direct deposit. "It is quicker, easier and - Greek Chicken Panini with Feta Cheese MacIsaac, bagpipes, whistles; and Miche safer than issuing checks that must be - Sicilian Style Pizza Pouliot, drums, percussion. cashed. We encourage everyone to use - Grilled Chicken Bowtie pasta in a direct deposit," Pahl said. Tomato Cream Sauce Order your tickets early - Natalie's last performance at Fermilab in 1998 sold out "We also have a number of non-resident The Wilson Hall Cafe now accepts Visa, in record time! aliens paid by the lab, and each has a Master Card, Discover and American specific tax situation" depending on their Express at Cash Register #1. Tickets for the Natalie MacMaster show visa, Pahl explained. Payroll reviews each on Septermber 17 are just $28 ($14 for case and, if there is a need for additional Wilson Hall Cafe Menu ages 18 and under). For further information, contacts the employee and information or telephone reservations, call schedules a time to meet. "I really enjoy 630/840-ARTS (2787) weekdays between having the non-resident aliens come in Wednesday, August 31 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. and talk about where they came from," he Lunch More Information said. "People come to Fermilab from all - Grilled Duck Salad with Green Beans over the world, and there's so much you - Pear Almond Strudel can learn from them." Thursday, September 1 From The San Francisco Pahl has been working in the payroll Dinner Chronicle, August 29, 2005 department of various businesses for - Caponata Military examines 'beaming up' data, almost 35 years, and has spent 12 of - Grilled Scampi people - Critics say its extreme those years at Fermilab. "I love the - Orzo with Arugula and Parmesan computing, energy needs keep atmosphere here," he said. "It's very - Cassata teleportation unlikely for now relaxed, employees are so courteous and the Payroll staff is the best. We have over Chez Leon Menu Frustrated that terrorist kingpin Osama 45 years of Fermilab experience in Call x4512 to make your reservation. bin Laden is still on the loose nearly four Payroll and have a very good years after the Sept. 11 attacks, a few understanding of the pay policies. Plus, I military types and their scientific advisers can look out my window and see deer Search the Fermilab Today Archive are pondering a "what if" solution straight and other wildlife running around." out of TV's "Star Trek." —Elizabeth Wade Wouldn't it be neat, they ask, if we could nab bin Laden via teleportation? In "Star Trek," the characters traveled between spaceship and planet by having their bodies dematerialized, then "beamed" to another locale — hence, the characters' familiar request to the ship's engineer: "Beam me up, Scotty." Fermilab Today is online at: That's teleportation. Ultimate Frisbee http://www.fnal.gov/today/ Interested in playing ultimate frisbee? It's Although many physicists think such a great way to get exercise while having Send comments and suggestions to ideas are claptrap, it would be ideal if the fun at the same time! If you've never [email protected] United States could teleport U.S. soldiers played before, don't worry about it, we'll into "a cave, tap bin Laden on the Fermilab Today archive teach you. Join us today at the soccer shoulder, and say: 'Hey, let's go,'" said field in the village. We usually play every Fermilab Today PDF Version Ranney Adams, spokesperson for the Air Wed. from 5:00 - 7:00 pm. Please bring a Force Research Laboratory at Edwards bottle of water. See you there! Fermilab Result of the Week archive Air Force Base in the Southern California Fermilab Safety Tip of the Week archive desert. "But we're not there (yet)." Unix Users Meeting Curia II Linear Collider News archive Not for want of trying, though. Last year, Wednesday 8/31/2005 @ 1:00PM the Air Force spent $25,000 on a report, Agenda: Fermilab Today classifieds titled "Teleportation Physics Study," to Irwin Gains - DOE and Audits Subscribe/Unsubscribe to Fermilab Today examine possible ways to teleport Connie and Troy - Latest on 305 and 4.0 humans and objects through space. Power Outage The military has a long history of funding Due to the holiday weekend, the power research into topics that seem straight out outage scheduled for September 3 has of science fiction, even occultism. These been changed to September 24. The range from "psychic" spying to power will be cut to Labs A, B, C, D, E, "antimatter"-propelled aircraft and rockets and F from 8:30 AM - 4:30 PM on to strange new types of superbombs. Saturday, September 24, 2005. Military-watchers have long argued over Building Manager Notice whether such studies are wastes of In an effort to enhance the overall taxpayers' money or necessary to identify dependability and performance of Wilson future super-weapons, weapons that a Hall elevators, the building manager has foe might develop if we don't. scheduled extensive maintenance and repairs affecting all four cars. Every car In recent years, many physicists have will be taken out of service for four to five become excited about a phenomenon days until completion of the project. Only called "quantum teleportation," which one car will be affected at any given time works only with infinitesimally tiny during these repairs. particles. It might lead to new ways of transmitting cryptographically secure Fermilab Health Fair messages, some speculate, but not The Fermilab Health Fair, complete with human beings for a long time to come, if demonstrations, screenings, and health ever. information, will take place on Thursday, September 8 from 11:00 p.m. until 2:00 Read More p.m. Upcoming Classes September 12 & 13: Word Intro & PowerPoint Intro September 27: Excel Intermediate September 28: Word Intermediate October 11: Excel Advanced October 12: Word Advanced October 11 & 26: Interpersonal Communication Skills More Information Upcoming Activities .