January/February olour lives 2015 Madison’s LGBT&XYZ Magazine 207 Portraits of Love in Wisconsin Over 400 Couples Statewide Sean Flyr & Bruce Slaughenhoupt OURLIVESMADISON.COM >> Connect Our Community >> FACEBOOK.COM/OURLIVESMAGAZINE 2 JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2015 JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2015 3 EDITOR’S NOTE nnnnnn EMILY MILLS our lives COMMUNITY LOVE HAPPY NEW YEAR! And what interesting times we live in. This issue in particular reflects the beautiful and ever-changing landscapes ol of our world—the diverse personalities and experiences of the LGBTQ community, the Madison’s LGBT&XYZ Magazine complex issues we face every day, and the Patrick Farabaugh families we choose to build. Publisher / Editor-in-Chief Included in these pages is our annual Committed Couples List. Emily Mills As the landscape of same-sex marriage and LGBTQ Civil Rights Editor changes too, we’ve been listening to your feedback and continue to Katie Ramos Copy Editor work to make the list more inclusive of the variety of forms that our Contributing Writers relationships take. M. Adams I’m incredibly proud of all the stories featured in the pages of Katie Belanger this jam-packed and colorful issue: From the story of Trixie Mattel Jeanne Moe Benink Bobby Goderich representing Wisconsin on RuPaul’s Drag Race (and the incredible Virginia Harrison photos by Lisa Predko that accompany it), to the story of new Christopher Krimmer community-supported café and grocery Cow & Quince out in New Skylar Lee Connie North Glarus, and the poignant words of advice that always come from our Kristen Petroshius column writers. 40 Robert Rosenbluth I’d like to draw special attention, as well, to M. Adams’ especially Richard Wagner WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE Caroline Werner timely and urgent piece about why the events in Ferguson and Brian Firkus on creating his Karin Wolf elsewhere are absolutely queer issues and why the LGBTQ alter-ego, Trixie Mattel. Trixie, Editorial Facilitators community must always approach its fight for equality and justice a host at Madison’s Plan B Tim Lom with an intersectional mindset. n nightclub, will compete on the Ryan Petty new season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Contributing Artists Roberto Amezcua Eric Baillies CONTRIBUTORS nnnnnn Steena Cirves TABLE OF CONTENTS nnnnnn LOVE nnnnnn JANUARY /FEBRUARY 2015 Ian DeGraff Daniella Echeverria Callen Harty Madison’s Premier Running Specialty Store DEPARTMENTS CONNECT IMPROVE Lisa Predko Account Manager 5 EDITOR’S LETTER & 8 OUR ARTISTS 46 OUR INTERSECTIONS Sedrick Huppert CONTRIBUTORS Photographer Rolando Cruz. Kristen Petroshius on accepting Business Manager the LGBTQ Advocate of the Year Matt Jelinek 6 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR 10 OUR ADVOCATES Award at the Outreach Banquet. National Advertising Sales M. Adams makes the case for FEATURES 48 OUR SCHOOLS Rivendell Media Inc. why Black rights and queer rights VIRGINIA HARRISON Proud Sponsor of are bound together. Virginia Harrison on a is a Special Education Assistant at West High 22 CARING & COMMITTED School. She believes all students have the right to an educational GSAFE’s COUPLES LIST groundbreaking study of 14 OUR ENTERTAINERS Wisconsin’s trans* and environment that allows them to thrive. Virginia also served as editor of WALK/RUN/EAT Over 400 couples and over 200 Bobby Goderich takes the stage gender-nonconforming youth. Subscribers in Our Lives from 2009–2012. photos help us celebrate love in with Madison Opera. our annual list. 50 OUR RIGHTS 300+ Wisconsin LISA PREDKO is a Chicago-based photographer who grew up with a berkeleyrunningcompany.com 16 OUR ELDERS 41 WHAT’S TRENDING: LOVE Christopher Krimmer on the cities & towns fondness for purple shag, muscle cars, and all things Bettie Page. And 2852 University Ave • 608-395-BERK Caroline Werner interviews legal ups and downs of legalized while these retro influences don’t define her photography, they have Weekdays 10am - 8pm • Sat 10am - 7pm • Sun 10am - 6pm Local leaders talk what’s new. Carrie “Chaous” Riddle. same-sex marriage and Katie given her a keen eye for the vibrancy, individuality, and style so essential 40 WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE Belanger on Fair Wisconsin’s ©2015 All Rights Reserved. 18 OUR ATHLETES transition to new priorities. January/February 2015 Volume 8, Issue 4 in creating images that evoke emotion. Whether shooting editorial or See photo above. US and Olympic Figure Skating Life in the Middle Publishing, LLC commercial, Lisa has an unassuming charm that immediately puts her 44 A CAMP FANTASY Judge Robert G. Rosenbluth. 54 OUR ISSUES Patrick Farabaugh & Joseph Patane, subjects at ease. And if that doesn’t work, she plies them with her famous Connie North on being able to Publishers. 215 Martin Luther King Jr Blvd., chocolate chip cookies. How same-sex love found its 20 OUR CALENDAR Box 1202, Madison, WI 53701 way into mainstream press see and accept one another. AIDS Network Camp Bingo, Any reproduction of OL: Our Lives Magazine in M. ADAMS is a Black-gay-working class-gender non-conforming during the World Wars. 56 OUR TASTE OPEN Annual Dinner, part or in full without the written permission of wimmin, a community organizer, a scientist, and an activist scholar. Wisconsin LGBT Leadership Jeanne Benink visits Cow & the publisher is strictly prohibited. OL: Our Lives As a grassroots organizer in Wisconsin, M has years of experience Conference, and more! Quince in New Glarus. Magazine shall not be held responsible for any CORRECTION In our November in addressing the root causes of our oppressions on the ground with issue we miscredited “The claims made by our advertisers. Submission of 58 OUR FUTURE LEADERS photographs or other images to OL: Our Lives organizations such as Freedom, Inc., Take Back the Land-Madison and Revolving Closet Door” to an Trans*, Asian-American, young, Magazine may be published without providing annonomous reader. The article National, and the Center for Pan-African Development. M’s work is and queer: Skylar Lee. image credit. Appearance of any person, business was wrtten by Dennis Yadon. based on centering the leadership of those most affected, specifically or organization within photographs, advertise- working with Black and Hmong queer folks to build liberation ments, or editorial content neither implies nor infers any indication of their sexual orientation. movements, and building a new society as the means to end our COVER PHOTO BY MAUREEN CASSIDY Trixie Mattel photographed by Lisa Predko for Our Lives magazine. oppressions. 4 Made on a Mac JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2015 JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2015 5 LETTER TO THE EDITORS nnnnnn OURLIVESMADISON.COM Powerful Results. Love, hope, Real People. success, RESPONDING TO “MEETING THE NEED” BEING AN ALLY TO PEOPLE OF COLOR IS ISSUE: NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2014 A RESPONSIBILITY & PRIORITY family, LAST MONTH’S DIP in temperatures 2113 Center Ave and early snow are a stark reminder of why we need to be concerned AS A GAY MAN, I understand what it is to be marginalized and discrim- Remodeled Atwood Cape Cod about homelessness and homeless services in Dane County. Homeless- inated against. Thankfully, I have been fortunate in the struggle to Spacious and updated! security. ness is a destructive force in the lives of individuals and families with recognize my sexuality. Last winter I was in Capetown, South Africa, 4 beds | 2.5 baths children. When it gets really cold outside, it is life threatening. evaluating the government’s ability to adequately grant asylum to 1,914 sq | 2 car garage Out of over 14 years of working with area churches on social justice LGBTQ refugees. The process brought me face-to-face with men and $314,900 and human services issues in our community, I can recall no more than women from all over Africa who truly knew fear, prejudice, and hate Jim Hartman Ins Agcy Inc Some things we all have four occasions when I received complaints about the Salvation Army against them because of their sexual orientation and gender identifica- Jim Hartman, Agent with respect to LGBTQ clients. In each instance the SADC indicated a tion. In those interviews, I came to more fully understand my privilege. 5706 US Highway 51 in common. desire to resolve the situation. Their current partnership with Outreach is At the heart of the situation in Ferguson, and all over this country, New Year’s Resolution: a sign of their intention to be responsive to the concerns of members of Bus: 608-838-4171 There’s nobody like me to is the lack of a conversation about privilege. Fortunately, this conver- Text my Realtor (608) 444-5725 Cell: 608-345-4885 ® ☑ the LGBTQ community who find themselves homeless. sation is beginning to surface. Privilege is not only about the color of [email protected] protect the things we all value. No matter what we think of the positions of the Salvation Army as a Sell my parents’ house ☐ Like a good neighbor, our skin, but our sex, wealth, educational opportunities, nationality, religious organization, in our community this organization provides crit- geography, sexual orientation, and many other factors that are often Buy my dream home ☐ ® State Farm is there. ical services to women, children, and families. Boycotting the kettle will not chosen. Many Americans who have traveled to developing coun- CALL ME TODAY. not change the Salvation Army, but it will endanger the local services the tries have experienced American Privilege. When I was interviewing SADC offers to people in our community who have very few options. and writing affidavits for those individuals in South Africa, I constant- Continuing to support the Salvation Army of Dane County does not ly confronted my privileges and asked myself, “How can I empow- 3160 Worthington Ave mean that we shouldn’t be concerned about the unique challenges of er those who do not have these benefits?” I am a white, educated, LGBTQ homeless individuals and families in our community.