Connections March 2015 In this issue Why and when to ask NEW Coaches Handbook! “Why?” 2 By Michele Mattoon, NSRF Director Sign up for CFG Coaches Recently, I was facilitating a CFG Training this summer coaches training in Bloomington, IN, NSRF’s homebase. We were in the pro- cess of learning about probing questions 3 my CFG community so many years ago. and had just finished reading the Under- I told them that when my colleague Communities of Practice standing Probing Questions text. One of the participants (let’s call her asked me the probing question I was support Early Care “Ann”) commented that she had learned about to reveal, it felt like he reached education leadership to be careful with “why?” questions. out and punched me in the gut. My and professional She had been told that they can sound reaction was immediate, strong, and emotional, consisting of hurt, anger, development in Palm accusatory and make people feel defen- sive. (In that article, we urge partici- and defensiveness. That question was, Beach County pants to make sure they’re an advocate “Why do you think that that’s your job?” for the presenter with their language In this particular training, after the 4 and inflection, rather than appearing to group reflected about my revelation criticize especially when asking “why” for a few moments, “Ann” pointed out Book Review: Building questions.) “Ann” had been told that, that my intensely negative reaction was instead of asking “why,” to use words caused by a “why” question. This was a Better Teacher by like, “How did you decide…” or “What clearly true and a few other people in Elizabeth Green are your feelings around…” the group chimed in to say that “why” After a quick discussion about the questions would definitely make them 6 necessity for being cautious when using feel spotlighted and judged. After some discussion, I asked the group to listen to “why,” the group went into the Probing NSRF® Connections • March 2015 9 the rest of my story. In the Questions Practice Activity. As an depths of winter, I finally learned that example within this activity, I shared When I heard this question from my within me there lay an invincible Mini-poster summer. – Albert Camus a dilemma from when I was a young critical friend, my immediate thoughts teacher with a student who had behav- were something like, “What do you 9 ioral problems. My focusing question mean, ‘why do I think it’s my job?’ Of centered on just one aspect of her dif- course it’s my job! I’m here to help ficulties: “How do I help that child in anyway I can my student develop the and social/emotional And more! Michele social skills she needs to Mattoon is the learning (especially for If you’re reading on an make and keep friends?” Director of first graders) is just as electronic device, watch for After the group the NSRF, an important as academ- International icons . practiced creating and ics! Students need Facilitator, and teachers that care for and blue type indicating refining their prob- CFG Coach. ing questions for me, I them!” and on and on in hotlinks to more content or Prior to leading NSRF, she that vein. You get the decided to share with taught first and second grade email addresses. picture. After a time, I them one of the most at Harmony School for more powerful probing ques- than 20 years. Email her at managed to calm down tions I received when I [email protected]. a bit. (Good thing there presented this dilemma to is a rule against trying to 2 NSRF® Connections • March 2015 answer probing questions!) The more of safely and trust. I reflected, the more I realized that Why do you think This discussion highlighted the under my anger and defensiveness cautions that should be taken when and my sadness for this little girl, I that’s your job? using a powerful probing question really was not being the best teacher such as “why?” Using “why” unskill- to her I could be. Why not? I real- fully can quickly shut down learning ized that a part of me was trying to After I had finished my story, by creating defensiveness and irrita- fill the role of her absent mother. another of the participants (who had tion or anger. However, when used When that truth hit me, it dra- actually been a CFG coach for many correctly, “why” can be a powerful matically changed my perspective of years and was taking the training tool to surface one’s beliefs and all the dilemmas I had around this again as a “refresher”) also shared a values. To make use of “why” in the student. In truth, the suggestions “why” story. He was once asked sev- most productive manner possible, use that my group gave me back then eral “why” questions in a row when it: may or may not have helped me. But he brought a dilemma to his CFG » As an advocate for the present- the radical change of perspective community. He also had an uncom- er—be intentionally curious and open, brought to me by that “why” ques- fortable initial reaction, but similar and avoid using a tone, inflection tion absolutely did. Because of that to my experience, he truly had an and/or body language that is judging, single probing question I was much epiphany around his dilemma because more able to think clearly about what of the multiple “why?” questioning. » In a group that already has built a was best for that student, the other culture of safety and trust, and “Ann” now wondered if the students in my class, and myself as “why” was one of the first or last » At the end of a probing question their teacher. Although the proto- questions I was asked. “In my case,” session, rather than the beginning. col did not give me a magic wand I said, “it was one of the last ques- Without these proper conditions to make all this student’s struggles tions I was asked.” This training in place, you would probably be wise disappear, I was able to let go of a group then discussed how a “why” to stick with “what” or “how” ques- lot of the anxiety and stress that question early in a round of prob- tions instead. For other examples of this student’s history and behavior ing questions might be too powerful probing questions, please rerview the created for me. The clarity that this or too provocative, and might best Probing Questions Cheat Sheet or “why?” question brought me allowed be shared late in the round. I also Probing Questions Approaches. me to make better choices around pointed out that I shared my dilemma how I reacted and tried to help my in my CFG community—one that had student. already built the needed foundation Big news! Coaches Handbook coming soon In addition to prepping this month’s edition of Connections, › Activities to hone your CFG coaching skills including a we’ve been working like mad preparing the new Coaches cheat sheet for matching protocols to the work at hand Handbook, which will be used in all the new coaches trainings › Information to share with colleagues and administrators to this summer and which will be available for purchase on our promote your new CFG communities website in the autumn. This new book, because it includes › More tools and techniques for CFG coaches the protocols and materials that are only available on our website for trained coaches, will ONLY be available for NSRF- Once the artwork for the handbook certified coaches and NSRF National Facilitators to purchase. goes to the printer, we’ll also begin Brand-new content includes not only updated and new proto- adding the new materials to our web- cols and activities, some never-before seen on our website, site, available to our coach members. but also an entire section dedicated to tools for coaches, Watch for an announcement about including: new materials on the website in the next issue of Connections ... or just › Tips and pointers around how to form CFG communities, the keep an eye on the website for new facilitation of protocols, and more content! › Helpful information about how to structure and run your CFG community NSRF® Connections • March 2015 3 NSRF LOVES OUR BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA HOME ... BUT We do NOT support the Indiana Religious Freedom Restoration Act, nor do most Bloomington businesses. NSRF welcomes everyone, and everyone attending trainings in Bloomington will be welcomed throughout the city. Sharpen your facilitation skills, improve student achievement AND positively shift school culture through CFG training! Sign up for spring or summer Critical Friends Group® New Coaches Open Trainings Current options: May 6-8 + two more days TBA in Athens, Greece June 22-26 in Nashville, TN June 22-26 in Orange County, CA July 6-10 in Los Angeles, CA July 13-17 in Bloomington, IN Open trainings this summer will use our brand-new Coaches Handbook as the training manual, with expanded content and updated materials! Rave reviews: “Best PD EVER!” “Informative! Educational! Protocols I can use frequently in my work.” “...the protocols are really useful in bringing out our ‘best selves.’ They drew me into the activities in a way that nudged me towards being fully present. I developed a greater awareness of the effect of my behavior and how it might benefit or hurt the rest of the participants.” To enroll or learn more, visit the NSRF website or call 812-330-2702! 4 NSRF® Connections • March 2015 Communities of Practice support Early Care education leadership and professional development in Palm Beach County By Monique Wilkinson NSRF National Facilitator and CFG Coach in Florida, and Mary Sibley, CFG Coach in Florida Note: Palm Beach Palm Beach County, Florida’s Early Care Education (IEECE), a partner in the County’s County uses the and Education community is nationally known ECE system, has taken the lead in developing term “Communities for being on the cutting edge of quality im- and co-facilitating communities of practice at of Practice” (CoPs) rather than Critical provement to support outcomes for children.