How Much I Feel - 09-13-2012 by Timothy - more perfect - http://moreperfect.org/site How Much I Feel by Timothy - Thursday, September 13, 2012 http://moreperfect.org/site/?p=1213 As an overly romantic kid, I spent a good portion of my youth wearing bulbous headphones, analyzing the lyrical content of pop music. I once passed an entire family vacation listening to “Bennie and the Jets,” trying desperately to both memorize the lyrics and comprehend their meaning. The weird and the wonderful. Religious leaders were scaring kids with stories of Satan-controlled rock stars and a nefarious tool called backmasking. Ironically, this made me certain the prophets of pop had access to deeper understanding. All I had to do was decode the hidden messages! The influence of my sweet satan seemingly made me vulnerable to overwrought orchestrations of infatuation. Songs were my education in love. Imagine my joy when dad drove home in a new Chevy van! The things I imagined. Over time, I began to develop a bullshit meter. For example, was there really a Mandy in Mr. Manilow’s life. I had my doubts. How Much Do You Feel? 1 / 10 How Much I Feel - 09-13-2012 by Timothy - more perfect - http://moreperfect.org/site Ambrosia is the fabled food of Gods, famously used by Athena to affix beer- goggles on the suitors of Penelope. I knew nothing of Homer as a pre-teen. For me, Ambrosia was simply a band who understood true love and heartbreak, just like me. I bought all their singles. Years later, I happened upon those 45’s, inserted the required yellow adapter (a satanic symbol for man on man on man love action) and began anew to analyze the lyrical content of their hit “How Much I Feel.” It’s widely counted as a beautiful blue-eyed soul love song. Even Casey Kasem thought so. But, is it? Less than thirty-seconds in, the bullshit meter lurched full red. I grabbed the needle so quickly it sounded like tires screeching round Dead Man’s Curve. How Much I Feel? This guy was a lying, cheating bastard. Let’s break it down. The Confrontation [Note: each lyrical section of the song is presented in a short audio clip. Click on the triangle next to the title to play it.] How Much I Feel Pt. 1 MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_0 = [ { name: "How Much I Feel Pt. 1", formats: ["mp3"], mp3: "aHR0cDovL2 1vcmVwZXJmZWN0Lm9yZy9zaXRlL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDEyLzA5L2hvd19tdWN oXzEubXAz", counterpart:"", artist: "", image: "", imgurl: "" } ]; MP3jPLAYERS[0] = { list: MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_0, tr:0, type:'single', lstate:'', loop:false, play_txt:' ', pause_txt:' ', pp_title:'', autoplay:false, download:false, vol:100, height:'' }; I don’t know how this whole business started Of you thinkin’ that I had been untrue So, his girlfriend (wife?) suspects infidelity and confronts him. His response is classic misdirection: turn the accusation back on the accuser. The question is shifted from whether he cheated to why she doesn’t trust him. See how that works? How Much I Feel Pt. 2 2 / 10 How Much I Feel - 09-13-2012 by Timothy - more perfect - http://moreperfect.org/site MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_1 = [ { name: "How Much I Feel Pt. 2", formats: ["mp3"], mp3: "aHR0cDovL2 1vcmVwZXJmZWN0Lm9yZy9zaXRlL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDEyLzA5L2hvd19tdWN oXzIubXAz", counterpart:"", artist: "", image: "", imgurl: "" } ]; MP3jPLAYERS[1] = { list: MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_1, tr:0, type:'single', lstate:'', loop:false, play_txt:' ', pause_txt:' ', pp_title:'', autoplay:false, download:false, vol:100, height:'' }; But if you think that we’d be better parted It’s gonna hurt me but I’ll break away from you Well, just give me the sign and I will be gone Now the guilt trip. This jackass is cheating on her and doesn’t have the guts to break it off honestly. So instead he blames her. The break up is a sacrifice that he’s willing to make, because she wants it. And this just proves that he loves her. That’s how much he feels… How Much I Feel Pt. 3 MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_2 = [ { name: "How Much I Feel Pt. 3", formats: ["mp3"], mp3: "aHR0cDovL2 1vcmVwZXJmZWN0Lm9yZy9zaXRlL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDEyLzA5L2hvd19tdWN oXzMubXAz", counterpart:"", artist: "", image: "", imgurl: "" } ]; MP3jPLAYERS[2] = { list: MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_2, tr:0, type:'single', lstate:'', loop:false, play_txt:' ', pause_txt:' ', pp_title:'', autoplay:false, download:false, vol:100, height:'' }; That’s how much I feel Feel for you, baby How much I need I need your touch How much I live I live for your loving That’s how much, that’s how much That’s how much, that’s how much Moving on. The Apology Then come the late night arguments. Nothing matches up; he’s spinning a story, but she’s not buying. How do we know? Because he’s sleeping alone. Probably on the couch. Next morning he approaches more gently, with coffee, juice, eggs and a small vase with a flower, all on a tray. How Much I Feel Pt. 4 3 / 10 How Much I Feel - 09-13-2012 by Timothy - more perfect - http://moreperfect.org/site MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_3 = [ { name: "How Much I Feel Pt. 4", formats: ["mp3"], mp3: "aHR0cDovL2 1vcmVwZXJmZWN0Lm9yZy9zaXRlL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDEyLzA5L2hvd19tdWN oXzQubXAz", counterpart:"", artist: "", image: "", imgurl: "" } ]; MP3jPLAYERS[3] = { list: MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_3, tr:0, type:'single', lstate:'', loop:false, play_txt:' ', pause_txt:' ', pp_title:'', autoplay:false, download:false, vol:100, height:'' }; I sleep alone and late at night I’m dreamin’ Of the togetherness that seems to be leavin’ me I’d give it all and then I’d give some more If you would only love me like you had before A peace offering, right? He’s recognized his error, understands he’s about to lose a good thing, and is willing to make amends. He’ll work hard, giving his all and more. She begins to warm a little, opening her heart. Maybe he’s sorry? She sets her juice down gently, finishes a bite of eggs, and softly wipes her lips with the floral cloth napkin. She’s ready for his apology. Then? This: How Much I Feel Pt. 5 MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_4 = [ { name: "How Much I Feel Pt. 5", formats: ["mp3"], mp3: "aHR0cDovL2 1vcmVwZXJmZWN0Lm9yZy9zaXRlL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDEyLzA5L2hvd19tdWN oXzUubXAz", counterpart:"", artist: "", image: "", imgurl: "" } ]; MP3jPLAYERS[4] = { list: MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_4, tr:0, type:'single', lstate:'', loop:false, play_txt:' ', pause_txt:' ', pp_title:'', autoplay:false, download:false, vol:100, height:'' }; Take hold of my hand and all will be forgiven “Wait. What? You’re offering to forgive ME?” she screams? The tray is upended. There’s a permanent mark on the wall where the vase bounces inches from his head. Everyone sing along now… 4 / 10 How Much I Feel - 09-13-2012 by Timothy - more perfect - http://moreperfect.org/site How Much I Feel Pt. 6 MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_5 = [ { name: "How Much I Feel Pt. 6", formats: ["mp3"], mp3: "aHR0cDovL2 1vcmVwZXJmZWN0Lm9yZy9zaXRlL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDEyLzA5L2hvd19tdWN oXzYubXAz", counterpart:"", artist: "", image: "", imgurl: "" } ]; MP3jPLAYERS[5] = { list: MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_5, tr:0, type:'single', lstate:'', loop:false, play_txt:' ', pause_txt:' ', pp_title:'', autoplay:false, download:false, vol:100, height:'' }; That’s how much I feel Feel for you, baby How much I need I need your touch How much I live I live for your loving Well that’s how much, that’s how much That’s how much, that’s how much The Boys At The Bar Change of scene. In a bar. Our hero is telling his story to the guys. We know this because, unlike the verse, the bridge brings a backup chorus echoing his words: How Much I Feel Pt. 7 MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_6 = [ { name: "How Much I Feel Pt. 7", formats: ["mp3"], mp3: "aHR0cDovL2 1vcmVwZXJmZWN0Lm9yZy9zaXRlL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDEyLzA5L2hvd19tdWN oXzcubXAz", counterpart:"", artist: "", image: "", imgurl: "" } ]; MP3jPLAYERS[6] = { list: MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_6, tr:0, type:'single', lstate:'', loop:false, play_txt:' ', pause_txt:' ', pp_title:'', autoplay:false, download:false, vol:100, height:'' }; So you try Try to stay in the middle And then you cry Well you cry just a little He’s reeling them in. How do they know he’s telling the truth? Because he admits to crying! The guy to his left puts a hand on his shoulder, while the one on the right signals to the waitress for another round. They’ve been there, nothing to be ashamed of. Knowing glances all around. Reassured that he hasn’t given them t.m.i., he steels himself for the denouement of the dark tale. He quiets his voice. They lean in more closely… How Much I Feel Pt. 8 5 / 10 How Much I Feel - 09-13-2012 by Timothy - more perfect - http://moreperfect.org/site MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_7 = [ { name: "How Much I Feel Pt. 8", formats: ["mp3"], mp3: "aHR0cDovL2 1vcmVwZXJmZWN0Lm9yZy9zaXRlL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDEyLzA5L2hvd19tdWN oXzgubXAz", counterpart:"", artist: "", image: "", imgurl: "" } ]; MP3jPLAYERS[7] = { list: MP3jPLAYLISTS.inline_7, tr:0, type:'single', lstate:'', loop:false, play_txt:' ', pause_txt:' ', pp_title:'', autoplay:false, download:false, vol:100, height:'' }; Then you both realize Just how foolish you’ve been And you try to make amends But you’re better off as friends ’cause that’s how much, that’s how much That’s how much, that’s how much There it is. The god-honest truth, validated by a chorus of beer-swilling guys. “That’s how much!” They all look at each other. Swagger in their eyes, just like the boys sitting at the Gas-n-Sip in the 80’s movie “Say Anything.” “Bitches” they say. Another round ordered. Let’s take stock of our story thus far. Mr. Ambrosia cheats on his girlfriend, makes her feel like shit for confronting him, accuses her of not trusting him, and then sells her out to his friends. What a guy. But don’t close the book yet. We’ve got one minute and twelve seconds left; anything can happen in pop music with one minute and twelve seconds left. The Douchebaggery This sordid story ripens! Years later, he runs into her at the Piggly Wiggly (that’s the 1970’s version of Facebook).