Musings on Life Peggy Vaughan Cover Photo of Peggy by James Vaughan Dialog Press San Diego, CA ISBN 978-0936390239 Copyright © 2008 Peggy Vaughan All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods. For more information about Peggy’s work, visit her Websites: www.musingsonlife.com • www.preventingaffairs.com • www.dearpeggy.com MUSINGS ON LIFE II Table of Contents Introduction.......................................................................................................1 1. Lessons in Living .......................................................................................2 If I Could Live my Life Over Living in the Fast Lane Living in the Moment Living While Dying One More Year Never Really Prepared 2. Stages of Life............................................................................................10 Personal Life Changes Keeping up with Life’s Changes Downsizing your Life Weddings—and Time Youthful Dreams The Rest of Your Life 3. On Being a Woman ..................................................................................18 Women of Courage Respecting Women’s Choices ‘Working’ Mothers Balancing Home and Work Dancing as Fast as I Can Spending Time Alone It’s Not Easy Being a Woman 4. Love/Relationships...................................................................................29 Marrying Young Valentine’s Day Thoughts The Power of a Kiss Sleep (the Cuddle Factor) Love, Sweet Love Lessons in Love Friends Love and Devotion 5. Family.......................................................................................................39 Family Patterns Family Gatherings Family Keepsakes Mother’s Day Special Memories www.dearpeggy.com MUSINGS ON LIFE III Who You Gonna Call? Running with the Boys The Soccer Generation Children without Families Happy 100th Birthday! 6. Character and Integrity .............................................................................51 Character Assessment Trusting your Intuition The Power of Integrity Strengths and Weaknesses Your Net Worth My Quest for a Wii When Dreams Come True Pressure to be Perfect Winning and Losing Telling the Truth 7. Communication ........................................................................................64 The Power of Words Parent—Child—Adult Ignoring the Elephant in the Room Debating vs. Discussing Everybody’s Talking 8. Simple Pleasures.......................................................................................71 It’s the Little Things Seeking Happiness Music Makes me Happy Enjoying America's Pastime Dog Days of Summer Talking about the Weather Desperately Seeking Nature Vacation Time What do you Enjoy? 9. Health and Fitness ....................................................................................81 Let's Get Physical Stress! Killer Headaches Getting a Good Night’s Sleep Age is Relative The Common Cold—and Cancer Breast Cancer Awareness Living with Breast Cancer Minor Surgery What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You Modern Medical Advances Losing my Mind www.dearpeggy.com MUSINGS ON LIFE IV 10. Learning/Education ..................................................................................96 School Days How’s Your Education? Public Education Graduation Day Lifelong Learning Bookaholics Awards that Matter 11. Technology.............................................................................................107 Me and My Computer Internet Savvy Love/Hate Relationship 12. Freedom and Responsibility ...................................................................112 Citizens of the World Soldiers Serving in Iraq “The War” Voting: a Right and a Responsibility Summons for Jury Duty Report on Jury Duty Political Awareness Remembering the Past Getting Along 13. Making a Difference...............................................................................122 Doing Good in the World Helping Others Giving and Receiving Patience and Persistence Help in Times of Crisis Pay it Forward Supporting those in Crisis Giving—Large and Small 14. The Big Picture.......................................................................................134 Our Planet's Past Global Warming Nowhere to Hide Out of this World Where All Things Belong We’re All in this Together The Whole World www.dearpeggy.com MUSINGS ON LIFE V To my Wonderful Granddaughters With Love from Nana www.dearpeggy.com MUSINGS ON LIFE 1 Introduction “If I tell many first-person stories in this book, it is not because I am obsessed with my own life or delude myself about its importance, but simply because it is the life I know best, and it provides all sorts of examples that I suspect are typical of most people’s lives.” —Douglas Hofstadter This statement accurately reflects my feelings about the ‘musings on life’ that I share in this book. Although I begin most of the pieces with a reference to something from my own personal experience, I then broaden the focus to reflect on the larger issues involved and invite you to consider how they impact you. I wrote these columns over a two-year period between May 2006 and May 2008. They’re not presented here in the order in which they were written but are organized according to topics or themes—although I do note the month in which each article was written I also tried to write about issues that are universally relevant or meaningful—because the underlying theme of the book is recognizing and acknowledging the many things that bind us all together as people. It’s my hope that these writings will serve as motivation or inspiration for each of you to take time to do your own ‘musings on life.’ www.dearpeggy.com MUSINGS ON LIFE 2 Chapter 1: Lessons in Living If I Could Live my Life Over Living in the Fast Lane Living in the Moment Living While Dying One More Year Never Really Prepared www.dearpeggy.com MUSINGS ON LIFE 3 If I Could Live my Life Over December 2006 When we reflect on where we are in our lives, most of our musings focus on things about ourselves we’d like to change in order to be happier, healthier or more successful. Interestingly, the changes we’d like to make tend to be pretty much the same ones year after year. We seem to think we’ve got unlimited time to do whatever we really want or need to do. Of course, we know better if we stop to think about it, but we seldom slow down enough to do this kind of serious contemplation about life. Another reason we sometimes fail to take stock of our lives is that we simply don’t want to focus on our own mortality. However, I find that doing that kind of specific focusing on the end of life allows me to feel much calmer about life on a day-to-day basis. Every day is an opportunity to take charge of our lives and live in a way that prevents us from coming to the end with regret that we didn’t fully live. So it’s important to consciously focus on how you’re living your life day to day. It’s far better to do something now rather than wait until it may be too late— and wind up living your last days with regret. Here’s a piece that I hope will motivate you to think about what you’d do ‘if you could live your life over.’ If I Could Live It Over Author Unknown (This has been printed in a number of publications through the years, showing the author as 85-year-old Nadine Stair, Don Herold, ‘anonymous’ and others.) If I had to live my life over again, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would take more trips. I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I'm one of those people who live seriously and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments. And if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them. www.dearpeggy.com MUSINGS ON LIFE 4 In fact, I'd try to have nothing else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had to live my life over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. * * * * * * * * * Living in the Fast Lane June 2007 “Life's so quick; life's so fast. At this rate will I last? How on earth will I stay sane? Living in the fast lane.” These opening lines from the Simon Icke song “Living in the Fast Lane” reflect the way many of us feel these days. We find ourselves overscheduled and overstressed, rushing around multitasking our way through life. It seems that we might slow down as we get older, but I find I’m actually picking up speed— and it’s not a good thing. Everything I do feels almost like a race, beginning with the way my mind races most of the time. I’ve always walked fast and talked fast and been generally quick about everything I do, but there seems to be a new intensity these days. Not only am I concerned that I may be harming myself physically, but my hurried, harried state is not good for those around me either. Recently we took a day off—away from home and computer—and went for a drive and a hike and just exploring places we hadn’t seen before. I’ve often noticed that the only times I feel remotely mellow are when I’m outside my normal environment. And every time this happens, I vow to get out of my (self- imposed) routine more often. In fact, it’s foolish to push myself the way I do, especially since I have flexibility in the way I choose to use my time and energy; so I have no one to blame but myself. Others who have 9 to 5 jobs or are stay-at-home moms don’t have as much choice.