RE-INVENTING THE CAVEMAN Narrative discussions on Maleness by AIDEN GRANT CHOLES submitted in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF THEOLOGY in the subject PRACTICAL THEOLOGY WITH SPECIALISATION IN PASTORAL THERAPY at the UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH AFRICA PROMOTER: DR JL MYBURG CO-PROMOTER: PROF JS DREYER NOVEMBER 2004 1 Student Number: 3376-788-2 DECLARATION I, Aiden Grant Choles, declare that RE-INVENTING THE CAVEMAN Is my own work and that all the sources that I have used or quoted have been indicated and acknowledged by means of complete references. ____________________ _____________________ Signature Date (AG Choles) 2 ABSTRACT The state of Maleness has received much attention in academic and public discourse of late. One such instance is the play Defending the Caveman, which depicts men in their “natural” settings as Cavemen, thereby justifying Caveman-like behaviour. On the other hand, much writing exists that find men culpable of discrimination, violence and abuse towards others. Discourses like these have real effects on the ways in which men choose and act on their Maleness. Six men engaged in narrative therapeutic discussions in an attempt to share their stories of Maleness, to discuss how society constructs men, and to re-evaluate the Maleness chosen by the participants. Key terms: narrative approach, social constructionism, discourse, postmodernism, deconstruction, Maleness, patriarchy, homosexuality, practical theology, feminism, gender roles. 3 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to thank the following people: • The Cavemen: Mike, Barry, Ryan H., Ryan K. and Raymond. These pages would be empty without your contribution and co-authorship. • Those who participated in our discussions: Mandy, Celeste, Des and Grant. We are indebted to you for witnessing our Maleness, holding us accountable and aiding us in challenging prejudice. • Rob Becker and Tim Plewman (the writer and performers of Defending the Caveman) for providing me with such an amazing platform from which these discussions could begin. • Elmarie Kotzé, for her initial guidance and prompting. • Johan Myburg for his quiet encouragement and patience. • Jaco Dreyer, for his thoughts on practical theology. • My family, for their support and for putting up with some rowdy Caveman discussions. • My faith community. You hold me together without even knowing it. • My partner, Samantha. Words cannot express the gratitude I have for your close support, encouragement and the sacrifice you have shown me. • My creator, for leading me along this path. 4 Table of contents DECLARATION ABSTRACT ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS CHAPTER 1 .............................................................................................................. 9 1.1 Introduction ...................................................................................................... 9 1.2 Inspiration for the study.................................................................................. 10 1.3 My commitment in this study.......................................................................... 16 1.4 South Africa at present................................................................................... 17 1.5 Research interest........................................................................................... 19 1.5.1 Discourse ................................................................................................ 19 1.5.2 Society..................................................................................................... 20 1.5.3 Theology.................................................................................................. 20 1.5.4 Nature...................................................................................................... 21 1.6 Men’s culture.................................................................................................. 22 1.7 Research journey........................................................................................... 24 1.7.1 Finding co-searchers ............................................................................... 25 1.7.2 Negotiating the journey............................................................................ 26 1.7.3 Hearing the stories .................................................................................. 27 1.7.4 The client is the expert ............................................................................ 29 1.7.5 Reflective summary of group sessions .................................................... 30 1.7.6 Invitations for alternative voices............................................................... 30 1.7.7 Impact on my personal story ................................................................... 32 1.8 Summary........................................................................................................ 32 CHAPTER 2 ............................................................................................................ 34 2.1 Social construction of Maleness......................................................................... 34 2.1.1 The male in crisis......................................................................................... 36 2.1.2 The nature of Maleness ............................................................................... 38 2.1.3 Deconstruction............................................................................................. 42 2.1.4 Hermeneutic of suspicion ............................................................................ 43 2.1.5 Deconstruction and a practical theology ...................................................... 44 2.1.6 Reconstruction............................................................................................. 45 2.1.7 Suspicion, power, knowledge: A current example ....................................... 46 2.1.8 Narrative ...................................................................................................... 48 2.2 Men and feminism.............................................................................................. 49 5 2.2.1Responses to gender reform ........................................................................ 51 2.2.2 Men and power............................................................................................ 52 2.2.3 Personal, political and theoretical ................................................................ 53 2.3 Pastoral care...................................................................................................... 54 2.3.1 Research Ethics........................................................................................... 56 2.4 Theology ............................................................................................................ 56 2.4.1 Postmodern theology................................................................................... 56 2.4.2 Contextual practical theology....................................................................... 59 2.4.3 Feminist theology......................................................................................... 62 2.5 Summary ........................................................................................................... 63 CHAPTER 3 ............................................................................................................ 64 3.1 Introduction ........................................................................................................ 64 3.1.1 The supremacy of discourse........................................................................ 64 3.2 The “Cavemen” .................................................................................................. 66 3.2.1 Raymond ..................................................................................................... 66 3.2.2 Barry............................................................................................................ 67 3.2.3 Ryan K......................................................................................................... 67 3.2.4 Mike ............................................................................................................. 67 3.2.5 Ryan H......................................................................................................... 68 3.2.6 Aiden ........................................................................................................... 68 3.3 Creating the landscape ...................................................................................... 69 3.4 Nature of Maleness............................................................................................ 70 3.4.1 The biological continuum ............................................................................. 71 3.4.2 Socially constructed Maleness .................................................................... 72 3.5 Competitiveness, Impressiveness and Okay-ness............................................. 73 3.5.1 God-given nature......................................................................................... 75 3.5.2 Maleness and initiation ................................................................................ 76 3.5.3 Competitiveness & Femaleness .................................................................. 78 3.6 Externalisation and voices ................................................................................. 80 3.7 Patriarchy..........................................................................................................