UNDER ROYAL PATRONAGE O'ccmtcilTkeUmMAituM Vol. XXIV., No. 2. FRIDAY. MARCH 2G, 1954. Registered at G.P.O., Brisbane, for transmission by port as a periodical- ''Mice & So This Is Edinburgh Men>9 Wonder what our crime reporter would have said if he had seen a dramatic but almost unnoticed in­ 0\ik& Visits University cident at Freshers' welcome. A certain blonde-headed gent, well- Well, gentle readers, against the better iudgment of Mr. Gair and the Royal Tour organisers. H.R.H. The Duke of known in literary circles, was danc­ Edinburgh decided to pay a visit to what the local press refers to as "the show case of Brisbane," St. Lucia, home of the ing with a comely wench. The only intellectually depraved. And the place hcssn't recovered yetl unorthodox part of his performance glly at their right hands, not daring chat by virtue of the Duke's ready was a small flask protruding ever Mr. Edinburgli, deciding to for- the Main Library, he became more to wash them for fear they'll wasli wit and pertinent questioning. His so slightly from his hip pocket. In .saJce the company of ttie goats for than a little tin god. They found the Royal Charm away. Ljuasl-wooden interviewees, tongue- a flash the offending article was a Willie, mingled witti the sheep that he had a personality and that tied at the thought of "MEETING removed by one of tho ever-vigi­ when the glass case his position has One bespectacled monster was lant flunkys of the manager. It in a visit organised witli cloalc- seen, after the tiunult and the ROYALTY," came to life under his and-dagger secrecy. Owing to the questioning and replied with a will. was nearly empty anyway so that fact that H.R.H. did not want a shouting had died, busily taking a this bloke was better off than the crowd, very few people knew of the cast of H.R,H.'s footsteps. Yet an­ greaser who awoke behind the liitended visit and even tftose peo­ Announcing other was seen In the Chem. Lab., bandstand at 2 a.m. and had to wearing a tattered coat, preserving wake the caretaker to let him out. ple who met the Duke were in­ The University Commem. song odd pieces of the garment, mutter­ formed only a few hours before­ competition: * * > hand. ing frenziedly, "He touched me, he We advise all who can possibly Have you musical talents? did, he touched mel" do so to get hold of the March 18th Those In the know had organ­ Well—use them! The noticeable feature of the edition of the Sydney Morning ised a right Royal welcome for His visit was the way the Duke made Herald, It's extremely educational Royal Highness, which was tlirown O Write a song suitable for the party hum. In the Library en­ to compare the report of the overboard for a more normal and the University song twok. counter which could have been Duke's visit to St, Lucia with that mundane welcome. According to the 0 Entries to be in by April dull to the point of resembling a of our own morning paper. Strange original plan, the Duke was to be 10th. * State Reception, the Duke turned as It may seem the Sydney version met by a cycle guard of honour, O Prize—two free tickets to the situation to his own advan­ i« longer, more detailed, and more mounted on "penny . farthings," Commem. tage. What promised to be a deadly colourful than the Courier's effort. tandems nnd all manner 0% 6 The winning song will be dull questlon-and-answer period Doubtless it's good Interstate pub­ velocipedes. As the Duke alighted sung on Tliursday, 29th, at was transformed into an informal licity, but It docs seem a little from the car, tJie engineer's dragon Graduation Ce r e m o n y, strange. .was to come charging up breathing along with faculty songs. fire (and water) bearing a large POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE * « * placard entreating the Duke to The new Union Handbook is "please take me home, Daddy!" As built around him is broken away, U'c know of a well-known St, now out complete with an at­ the Duke walked in the Main En­ tliero's quite a personable and Lucictte, who halfway through the tractive cover. Perhaps it's only trance an organised bunch of fakers likeable gentleman. He rcvc&led not day was told she would meet the a coincidence that the colour of •were to faint en masse. only a charming personality but Duke. For an hour before he ar­ the volume is officially called — also a very acute mind — oh, yes, rived, she assiduously practised wait for it—Passion PlnktSJ We breathe a great sigh, thank­ very acute. curtseying until she at last had tbe * * * ing Heaven that they did not exacting and toll-taking salaam ofT Reports received from our Cale­ The surprising thing about the to a tee. eventuate. Any attempts after the whole rousing set-up is that not donian correspondent indicate that brilliant Melbourne Uni. welcome one freshercttc in the pressing The regtettable thing is that March 17th (also the day of Duke's would have fallen as flat as a crowd of about two hundred ill- when she was finally introduced to CHANCELLOR AND FRIEND visit) was celebrated in finest policeman's arches. The "pranks" assorted men, women and semi- His Royal Highness, she was stand­ For a Royal Plush, no Jokers fa.shion by an unofficial Varsity already publicised (and very much ing close to a table,' Half-way Irish Association. Festivities began naked children, fainted away In Anyway, it's all over now and . over-rated) were so futile that they sheer ecstasy. However, since the through her curtsey, her stern in the City Tabernacle and ended hardly need repeating. came into rather abrupt contact we are nearly back to normal—that (appropriately) at St. Leo's where show, innumerable folks have been I.>i all of us except the St, Lucia To those who met the Duke in seen wandering about gazing fog- with the table and she nearly "The Mountains of Mome" and belted hei^dlong into the Duke's cleaners who are still searching "The Wearin' of the Green" kept tummy. assiduously for one broom and two many less fervant Irishmen from Throughout the long library in­ shovels. Rumour has It that tiicy slumber, A certnin lecturer return­ terview, faces (of the femalp are to be gold-plated and placed ing to college very late, had the variety) were peeping unashamedly in a gloss case in Roote 42 at St. misfortune to meet the Wild from Ijook shelves. A queue of Lucia. Colonial Boys emerging in quest of "starers" appeared between "Eng­ taxis home, and Is Still haggard lish Literature" and "Pren'.h from the experience. It wouldn't Literature" after having' hidden Societies Please have done for the Duke, Sir. themselves before the Duke's entvT * » • around the region of "Philosophy" Note' A ccrtnin recently arrived pro­ and "Psychology." Semper corres­ fessor has already caused pondent had an interview with two At the recent Sports Union meet­ hitcklcR to rise in one of his Physios, who. managed to stash ing' concern was expressed over the classes, A display of scltool- themselves between the panes in inccrrett procedure used by a mast(>rlsh Hvcr hns not helped to the men's retiring room, whence society in the booking of tennis they crept to the library. courts at St. Lucin. Published create a good impression with underncatli is the corrajt proce­ his now students. Who is he (o When, asked If they had any dure to be adopted by ANY soctef,v complain of a roll-sheet being twinges ot conscience over tlicir wishing to book ovals, tennis courts, rustled, anybody would think he remarkable entry, Ihcy plcasiintly basketball courts, etc,, at St. Lucia. uas a profe.ssor or somcthins, gurgled: * * * "Oh, we'd do anything tor the The correct procedure is as fol­ Another IOUVTC man on the job!! Duke." lows:— Erstwhile eligible bachelor woke up Approach the Sporting club recently to find six nearby louvres Don't snigger, Horace, you cad! which has, the use of the «irc!i for shattered, and nasty goshes on his Among the uninvited was a fixtures and ascertain if riiey need foot—nightmare is one explanation. notorious medical gent clad in them on the date in question. If Ask any notable Union.- rof. and sports clothes, who, after wallow­ not, ask the Hon. Sec. to make the "Varsity v.ickctkeeper how getting ing with the xmwashed at the iiece.ssiir>' booking with U.R.A.C, enpagcd could possibly precipitate stair entrance, bludgeoned his way (University Recreation .\reas Com­ such n determined and drastic through the polic.'e cordon, and mittee), which will issue a permit escapist reaction. strolled in imarrested to, eventually for the occasion. If jMssiblo, ap­ Raving Reporter. meet the Duke. plications should bo made two Another truly remarkable feature weeks before the area is requirod. CLOSING DATE FOR of thd show was tho presencp of the gendarmerie in the main Abide by this procedure, and on- NEXT SEMPER ONE library, Bluecoats at the home of sure .vour bookings and consequent Book-larnin'! Tlie police foice, enjoyment. WEEK FROM TO-DAY. not content with hacking our Commem. Procession to bits, dis­ turbing our Commem. revelries, etc., have now undertaken to invnde Just Arrived the seat of Higher Learninc:.