Volume 47 - Issue 25 - Friday, May 4, 2012

Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Spring 5-4-2012

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 47 - Issue 25 - Friday, May 4, 2012" (2012). The Rose Thorn Archive. 74. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/74

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Rose-HRulman Institute oseof Technology • Terre Haute, IN • Thttp://thorn.roseho-hulman.edu • May 4, 2012 r • Volume n 47 • Issue 25 Friendly gaming Haute Food Kony 2012 Tournament time Java Haute now of- There’s more than Battlefield 3 pro- Men’s tennis set for fers more than just meets the eye with vides several enter- the conference coffee, for any meal “Invisible Children.” taining ways to game tournament. of the day. Page 5 Page 6 with others. Page 4 Page 7 Human power for the win HUMAN-POWERED VEHICLE TEAM LOOKS TO SWEEP RACING EVENTS Ranjana Chandramouli of the Human Powered ond among the innovative staff writer Vehicle team have spent designs, was able to take top much of school year prepar- honors overall. Sophomores First place standings in ing their bike for the year, Crystal Hurtle and Claire both the design and wom- named the “Carnot Cycle,” Stark helped bring victory en’s speed event of the in preparation for both the to Rose for the woman’s American Society of Me- East and West competitions event, while sophomores chanical Engineers’ annual of the Human Powered Ve- Drew Robertson and Patrick “Human Powered Vehicle hicle Challenge. The Rose Woolfenden placed second Challenge-East” competi- team competed against 31 overall in the men’s event. tion secured a first place other schools in four differ- The endurance race, which overall ranking for the team ent events. The first was the occurred on the last day, from Rose-Hulman. Rose design event, which ranked was a track through Grove also placed second in the both a written report and City’s Memorial Park, where men’s speed event and third the innovative features that Rose was able to place third in the endurance event, each team’s cycle possessed. to win the overall competi- which was held in Grove The Carnot Cycle, equipped tion. Out of a total possible City, Pennsylvania, on April with a “hybrid regenerative 100 points for the overall 28 and 29. braking/electronic drive” competition, Rose-Hulman The current 19 members apparatus that ranked sec- earned 93.5 points as the top team, narrowly beat- ing Missouri University of Science and Technology Rose-Hulman nabbed the top spot in the female speed drag (MUST), who earned 92.3 racing event and second in the men’s speed event. points, and Frank W. Olin Rose-Hulman News College of Engineering, who earned 89.4 points. allowed the other team to the Missouri team in order In true Rose fashion, make the necessary repairs. for them to continue. Rose the members of the HPV This allowed Missouri to earned the sportsmanship team were true sportsmen eventually beat Rose over- award at the competition throughout the competition. all in the men’s event, but for their efforts to ensure a In the men’s event, Rose’s nonetheless showed the fair, safe, and fun competi- second matchup against character of the Rose indi- tion. MUST seemed to be in our viduals. Similarly, after the The Carnot Cycle and the favor when Missouri’s bike only female rider on the Rose HPV team will travel broke down, leading to what Missouri was unable to com- to Salt Lake City, Utah this The Engineers showed more than just racing skills, earning would be forfeiture on their plete the endurance race on weekend, May 4-6, to com- first place in the design portion of the East Coast Competition. part. Rather than take the her own, Claire Stark took pete in the HPVC-West Rose-Hulman News easy win, the Rose team her place and pedaled for competition. Dean Kamen slated to speak at commencement Kurtis Zimmerman • news editor scientists in America than perhaps also owns and pilots two per- any other individual.” sonal jets, is a member of the Commencement is just a few A storied inventor, Kamen holds USA Science and Engineering weeks away, and to cap off the day, more than 440 U.S. and foreign Festival’s Advisory Board, and inventor, innovator, and entrepre- patents, including one he earned stars in “Dean of Invention,” a neur Dean Kamen has been chosen as a college undergraduate. He in- television show on Planet Green, to deliver the commencement ad- vented the first wearable infusion where he and his correspondents dress. pump, a device used in chemother- explore scientific breakthroughs Before his death two weeks ago, apy, neonatology, and endocrinol- around the world. late president Matt Branam ex- ogy. He founded his first medical Following in the footsteps of pressed his excitement to welcome device company, AutoSyringe, Inc., fellow inventor and scientist Mi- the science and technology educa- in 1976, and later sold that company chio Kaku, Kamen will address tion advocate to campus. to Baxter Healthcare Corporation. the graduating class of 2012 “Dean Kamen is a man who in- In 1989, Kamen founded FIRST to before they depart from their spires us not only for his inventive- help develop the interests of young undergraduate experiences as ness and success, but for his tireless children in science, technology, and Fightin’ Engineers. devotion to young people around engineering. “I am excited to visit Rose-Hul- the world,” said Branam. “As the Thanks to the work of FIRST, man for the first time. Its repu- founder of FIRST (For Inspiration high school-aged participants can tation for inspiring young people and Recognition of Science and apply for more than $14 million in to become innovative technol- Technology), an organization dedi- scholarships from leading colleges ogy leaders is well-known. Rose- cated to introducing young minds across the country, including Rose- Hulman is a true partner in my to science and technology, Dean Ka- Hulman. mission to help young people be- men has set more young people on Besides his work in engineering come scientists and engineers,” the path to becoming engineers and and technology education, Kamen said Kamen. Rose-Hulman News 1 2 8 Sudoku Puzzle #L661AR Presented by Puzzle Baron 8 2 Rated: Challenging 3 2 4 9 1 7 1 5 5 3 4 8 6 2 8 4 4 2 7 1 5 2 2 Advertisements Issue 25

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Copyright © Puzzle Baron May 3, 2012 - Go to www.Printable-Puzzles.com for Hints and Solutions! Sudoku Puzzle #N962TI 7 9 Presented by Puzzle Baron 5 3 2 Rated: Super Difficult! 9 2 5500 Wabash Ahevenue CM 5037, Terre Haute, IN 47803-3920ose • Phone:(812) 877-8255 • Fax: (812) horn877-8166 • http://thorn.rose-hulman.edu T R T3 1 6 7 4 8 2 We are Rose-Hulman’s independent student newspaper. We /TheRoseThorn /TheRoseThorn keep the Rose-Hulman community informed by providing an 7 8 1 accurate and dependable source for news and information. Issues of The Rose Thorn are published on the first2 through ninth4 Fridays of each academic quarter. Weekly meetings occur at 5:15 p.m. on the first1 through ninth Wednesdays5 3of each academic quarter. Alex Mullans • editor-in-chief Ranjana Chandramouli • writer All members of the Rose-Hulman community are welcome to attend. Marcus Willerscheidt • editor-in-chief Katie Dial • writer Submission of articles, photographs, art, and letters to the editor is encouraged. Submissions may be Kurtis Zimmerman • news Sean Finney • writer Copyright © Puzzle Baron May 3, 2012 - Go to www.Printable-Puzzles.com for Hints and Solutions! made by email to [email protected] or in person to Hulman Memorial Union room 249. The Kevin Weaver • entertainment Viktor Goben • writer submission deadline is 5:00 p.m. Wednesday. Katrina” Brandenburg • living Morgan Lopez • writer Richard Thai • opinions Stephen Mayhew • writer The rights to accept submissions or changes made after the deadline, to include submissions in the Matt Dierksmeier • sports Jesse Sestito • writer online edition at thorn.rose-hulman.edu, to edit submissions insofar as the original intent of the submission remains unaltered, and to reject submissions deemed inappropriate for print are reserved by Sean Gorsky • flipside Hobey Tam • writer the editors. Jessica Reames • photo Emily Asman • copy Letters to the Editor should be no longer than 600 words in length and must contain the writer’s Jason Latimer • copy (electronic) signature. Andrew Klusman • business The views expressed herein are those of their respective authors and, with the exception of the Staff Richard House • adviser View, do not necessarily represent the views of the staff or the Rose-Hulman community. 4 May 2012 News 3 Students give Saturday morning to beautify campus

This past weekend student groups scattered across campus to spruce up the area ahead of Mom’s Day and commencement this month. Morning rain delayed the start, but by mid-afternoon doz- ens of trees had been planted, along with several other landscape improvements. The event is put on each year and ends with a cookout and prize drawing for all volunteers. News Briefs Alla Letfullina • guest photographer Jason Latimer • copy editor

NFL great Junior Seau dies in apparent suicide What is there to love Former NFL linebacker Junior Seau, who played 13 years with the San Diego Chargers, was found dead in his home Wednesday morning with a gunshot wound that ap- peared to be self-inflicted. According to friends and fam- about Sharp Flats East? ily, Seau had not displayed any signs of depression or mental problems beforehand. He was 43 years old. Seau earned 12 Pro-Bowl selections and was inducted into the Chargers Hall of Fame in 2011. He also created the Junior Everything! Seau Foundation in 1992 to support and educate young people through child abuse prevention, drug and alcohol awareness, and anti-juvenile delinquency programs. Pricing available upon request Congressman Issa accuses Holder of contempt in Great location! The closest off campus housing to RHIT! Fast and Furious case Located on Hunt and US 40 Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), Chairman of the House Oversight Committee, released a draft resolution that Call us today! (812) 877-1146 would find Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of 6710 E. Wabash Ave. Terre Haute, IN 47803 Congress regarding the Fast and Furious investigation. Efficiencies Utilities included 234 square feet $370/month Last year the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives came under fire for allowing the illegal sale and Studios Utilities included 266 square feet $410/month transaction of firearms in order to track them to key cartel One Bdrm. You pay electric 588 square feet $475/month and crime figures (known as “gunwalking”). However, the federal government has recovered less than half of these Pets Weclome Pet Fee firearms and has apprehended none of the targeted fig- Amenities ures. The operation, known as Fast and Furious, came to light last December when the crime scene of a border pa- • Within .5 mile of RHIT trol agent’s death contained gunwalked firearms. • Rollie’s Pizza on location! Russia threatens pre-emptive strike if NATO con- (They serve beer, too!) tinues anti-missile plan • Pets allowed by prior approval Russia’s Chief of General Staff Nikolay Makarov threat- only; $200 pet fee ened to carry out a pre-emptive strike on NATO missile defenses in Eastern Europe if the U.S. continues its con- • Laundry on site troversial plan to build a missile shield. • Available immediately Washington claims that its plan is to counter solely any Iranian missile threat. However, Russia fears it will • Some furnished units available Visit Us on eventually become powerful enough to neutralize Russia’s • Lots of parking military capabilities. Moscow has proposed running the Facebook! missile shield jointly with NATO, but NATO declined the • Wi-Fi offer. Check www.sharpflats.com for additional housing in downtown Terre Haute 4 Entertainment Issue 25 Includes equal parts absurdity and majesty SSX revamps and improves upon prior iterations

Max Verkamp • guest writer variety of courses. The courses cific equipment associated with were designed by taking NASA it, like the aforementioned wing- “SSX” is the triumphant return satellite images of the peaks suit. Other equipment includes of a classic snowboarding series. and then SSXifying the courses armor, a headlamp, ice picks, and The focus remains on fantastic with oil lines, power plants, or other useful items for braving the mountain environments, smooth abandoned structures, depend- mountains. These events provide tricking and racing, and a touch ing on the range. The net effect a nice addition to the traditional of absurdity. The gameplay and is an amazing, and mostly nat- trick and race events present in sense of speed are top-notch, ural-feeling, set of tracks. Along the game. They also combine though the amusing and epic cus- with the gorgeous graphics, this these to race through rocky cre- tomization options from previous makes the game look fantastic. vasses without dying or trying entries are sadly missing. The The multiplayer aspect of the for the highest score in the harsh main selling points of the new in- game is innovative and awe- cold of Antarctica. The music is stallment are the fantastic array some, but also sadly lacking. also not to be forgotten, compli- of courses, the well-implemented The lack comes from the exclu- menting the mood of descending asynchronous multiplayer, and sion of any direct head-to-head mountains flawlessly. the signature courses known as competition. The game does SSX is epic and fantastic. The the Deadly Descents. not have split-screen capabil- tracks are equal parts majesty The game also has a storyline to ity or online versus. What it and absurdity, matching the go with that is rather ridiculous, does have is a robust ghost sys- gameplay perfectly. The tricking but the reason to play an “SSX” tem and tournaments known and racing controls are intuitive game is not the story. There are as Global Challenges. If your to grasp, though mastering the two main sections: the Deadly console is online, every run art of keeping a combo going or Descents mode (also known as you do is recorded and placed tricking at full speed takes time to the campaign) and Explore. The in a leaderboard against your master. The addictive one-more- campaign takes a solid day of play friends, along with a ghost. This try gameplay is perfected through (six hours is probably a conserva- provides a great competitive el- the use of constant competition tive estimate) to fully beat, and ement to the game. The Global with your friends and a simple that is by no means the extent Challenges are time-depend- http://wikipedia.org RPG style equipment progres- of the game. The Explore mode ent events that run constantly sion. The only complaints with has all of the courses in the cam- around the various tracks avail- many times as you wish to try to slaloming Trees in the Rockies, this iteration of SSX are the lack paign plus more, each with two or able. Each event has a certain improve your pay-out bracket to going through the complete of direct multiplayer and awe- three modes of play. All in all, the entry cost of in-game currency until the time runs out. Then you Darkness of Kilimanjaro, to my some ridiculous customization of amount of gameplay is well worth (for some events, the cost is zero), get your profit to buy better and personal favorite of defying Grav- previous games in the series. the price of admission. and then has a pay-out depend- more exciting equipment and ity with the new flying-squirrel- The race, trick, and survival ing on how well you do and the snowboards at get back to the esque wingsuit equipment in Rating: 4.5 / 5 Elephants events take place over nine differ- cost and number of people par- competition. Patagonia. Survival events also ent real-world mountain ranges ticipating. Many events have cer- The signature Deadly Descents take place on other tracks, but the containing several peaks, each tain requirements for the quality are nine courses that pit you best of each hazard is found in the with multiple interlacing runs. and types of equipment allowed against various aspects of na- Deadly Descent of each mountain This amounts to an incredible as well. You can participate as ture. These range from surviving range. Each hazard also has a spe- Better played with friends than by yourself Derek Robinson • staff writer a very good job of much the same way as it can Renting a server allows you creating a balance in “Call of Duty.” to customize your playlist “Battlefield 3,” for those among the classes However, unlike in Acti- and game options to your of you that haven’t played and ways to work vision’s franchise, this game favorite maps and game it, is primarily a multiplay- around every road features realistic bullet drop. modes and settings. Before er game. The single player block. Some of At long ranges, gravity pulls this update, the average campaign is fairly short and these can be quite the bullets you fire down- game of Rush or Conquest very cliché: it centers around literal: the use of wards, and depending on lasted for about 20 minutes, a WMD plot to attack New tanks can cut off the exit velocity of the gun but the updated allows the York City and comes re- conventional av- you use, this drop will vary renter to increase the num- plete with flashbacks, lone enues of reaching among guns for shots of the ber of respawn tickets each wolf gameplay, and very objectives, but the same range. It will take some team holds; I’ve played sin- linear missions. The game maps in the Con- getting used to, but it makes gle games which lasted for also features a co-op mode. quest and Rush sniping much more balanced over an hour and felt much The missions are more fun, game modes are and a great deal more skill- more intense. Before you get but they’re shorter, and the massive. Conquest intensive. There’s something scared, the server browser mode really only serves to feels a lot like a satisfying about being able system in the game allows feed into the multiplayer. king-of-the-hill to out-snipe a sniper… while you to check the settings on Co-op is online only (there type control-the- wielding a light machine any server before joining. is no splitscreen option for point game mode, gun. Also, along with the All in all, “Battlefield 3” the game), and while the but there are mul- bullet drop, you will have to pans out to be a great game. missions tend to run in par- tiple points for http://wikipedia.org “lead” running targets. The The multiplayer is intense allel to points in the cam- your team to hold, bullet system in the game is and fun and more than com- paign, progress in the co-op and the games are very in- your team’s vehicles. Some amazing, and being on the pensates for the iffy cam- unlocks guns for use in the tense. Rush features an of- classes have more access receiving end will make you paign. The game provides a multiplayer. fense-defense style, sending to explosives, and each has glad snipers have been made ton to experiment and play The game is clearly more one team to attack two ob- a different type of primary more realistic. As well, you around with, enough un- focused on the multiplayer, jectives while the other team weapon. The weapons sys- can hear every bullet that lockables to keep you busy and here it excels. “Battle- defends. Each pair of objec- tem is amazing. Each gun whizzes by your head, and for months, and plenty of field 3” does a very good job tives destroyed opens up has a unique sound and re- even silenced weapons are intense and fun gameplay. If of giving you options: with more of the map and allows ally feels like a different gun possible to detect as you be- you haven’t played it yet, it’s a little effort each class will the defense another chance from the others. Different come slightly disoriented a game well worth your time. have its own way of dealing to hold their ground un- weapon modifications are when a bullet passes within If you have played it but it’s with different enemy tactics, til the other team exhausts unlocked as you use a gun a foot of you. been a while, the new update whether they include vehi- their forces. more, and these can greatly Recently, DICE has up- will provide a refreshing cles, snipers, choke points, A big part of the gameplay affect your use of the gun. dated the game with a new change of pace. or any other method the ene- for the modes is the class Within each class, the use Rent-A-Server system. The my team might use to pin you system. The classes them- of that class will grant you HUD looks a little different Rating: 4 / 5 Elephants down. Nothing is particular- selves are mainly differenti- perks, equipment, or cam- from the game’s original re- ly overpowered in this game: ated by their team value; you ouflage as you progress, lease, but more importantly, the developer, EA Digital Il- can heal, resupply, protect and the unlocks can become there is a legitimate system lusions CE (DICE), has done your teammates, or repair quite an addicting goal in where one can rent a server. 4 May 2012 Living 5 Making an early escape: moving finals

Katrina Brandenburg for the premature escapee. juggling act. The escapee is being rescheduled. The per- best used only if suggested living editor The first option is to sim- turned into a performer who former can really only keep by a professor. The option is so many tasks to leave some of the grades The summer is near, but circling around as incompletes and take the for some perhaps it is not in the air before exams later. There is a time near enough. There are those one will drop. limit to this, but the passage among the student body who Another op- of time also poses another wish to make an early es- tion is to have problem. Material that has cape from the confines of the the exams proc- been learned in the class- classroom or who perhaps tored at the des- room might become foggy envisage a change of scen- tination. Here in memory if too long passes ery through the classroom the escapee has between the last lecture and windows to make time fly the benefit of the completion of the exam. even more swiftly through juggling less. This option may perhaps the years of college. Among However, he or pose the greatest likelihood these, there are the fortunate she must also get of lowering grades in classes few. These are the souls who this approved by for which it is implemented. will successfully make that the professors. It requires discipline to keep early flight from the droning The preferred method of escape might be the airplane above. Furthermore, the material from the class routine of college dorms, col- http://bigfishgamesnews.tk a proctor has fresh in the mind. lege meal plans, and college to be available, It is true that the sweet- exams. There they encounter ply reschedule those pesky, must perform all the tasks and the student still must ness of summertime awaits a problem—exams. undesirable exams for before of finding time to take each schedule the exams. He or students with all of its allure. Most students must take the trip. The positive side exam, getting an earlier time she may also need to trans- Friends are returning home. final exams to complete to this is that whatever trip and day approved with each port books, notes, and study Thrilling internships are wait- classes. While daydreams of the fortunate fugitive has professor, studying for the tools to the destination to ing to start. Lazy afternoons taking a flight someplace else planned will not be botched exam while still attending prepare beforehand. are approaching. In spite of before the time of final ex- by the worries of an unfin- other classes, and still being Finally, there is a third op- all of those, in this case these ams seem pleasant, the task ished exam awaiting his or prepared for any regular ex- tion. The third option some- summertime pleasures may of rescheduling those exams her return. The negative side ams that crop up during the times inspires disapproving be made all the sweeter by is less so. Three options exist is that early exams become a same week in which finals are frowns. This option might be waiting. Stocking your future kitchen Viktor Goben • staff writer (No, not Skrillex, but those mostly flat pans that go on top of the stove for bacon and pancakes), and sauce pans (always desirable). Whether you’re moving out to a new job or moving off campus, being able to Appliances: Since you never know what you’re going to have wherever it properly stock your kitchen is a must. And it’s not just getting food. is you go, it’s best to have a nice collection with you: toaster or toaster oven, Bakeware: An absolute must for all those oven-time adventures: cookie microwave, coffee pot, water cooker, rice cooker, and a large crockpot (for sheets, cake pans (large and small, rec- making food for a group or just several midnight snacks for you). tangle and circular, steel and glass), muf- Spices: You’ve probably heard of these, but you may not be 100 percent fin tins, and loaf pans will get you through sure why you need them. If you do any cooking from the average cookbook, most adventures, but you’ll need more these are probably what you’ll need: cinnamon, salt, pepper, garlic pow- specialized gear further down the road. der, lemon pepper salt, taco seasoning, thyme, cilantro, nutmeg, vanilla, and It’s not just Cooking gear: glass measuring cup, chili powder. These are not the only ones out there, but certainly some of the plastic measuring cups and spoons, mix- most common. ing bowls, strainer, cheese grater, cutting Don’t forget: silverware, utensils like spatulas and big spoons, a dish boards, knives (a good set will last you rack, and any sort of organizational system that you think your kitchen getting food several years, so try not to be too skimpy needs. Additionally, a nice array of condiments will help immensely with on the price tag), but storage containers almost any meal. Just remember, you don’t always have to eat out to have ” (usually for flours and sugars), skillets a good cheap meal, especially with a well-stocked kitchen. Haute food: Java Haute Write for the living section! Melissa Schwenk other living editor emeritus veg- Email thorn-living@rose- etables. With Java Haute’s recent This hulman edu expansion, the menu has soup is This sandwich . . also expanded to include filling, more than coffee and other even beverages. With options with- ranging from sandwiches to out the was phenomenal soups, there is something for crack- everyone and for any meal of ers, and the day. the larg- ” On my visit I had the grilled er 12 oz portion could defi- vored hummus, such as Higher Learning cheese combo. This sand- nitely be considered a meal roasted red pepper hummus, wich was phenomenal. The in and of itself. but Java Haute only has tra- Jacob Weldon • guest writer ciabatta bread didn’t over- The last part of the combo ditional hummus available. power the cheese, and as an is the side. There are three The vegetables that went We are human added bonus, there was ba- side options: grapes, ket- along with the hummus were We build mountains that were once only mole hills con in the middle. This take tle chips, and hummus with carrots, broccoli, and celery, Creating problems that had once been solutions on a childhood favorite defi- vegetables. On separate trips all of which were fresh and Giving into our higher desires, we ruin others nitely did not disappoint. I ordered grapes and the tasty. Where is the final step that we take As part of my combo I also hummus. The grapes were The food menu is only That will finally be the straw the breaks the camel’s back ordered a bowl of vegetable fresh and flavorful, with each available from 7 am to 7 pm, We are human because we are animals. soup. Unlike some soups being as firm as one would but that’s plenty of time for Raise yourself up through knowledge and that are watery, this tomato- hold. The hummus option you to enjoy a few meals in You become more than human based soup was filled with was good but has room for their new dining area. Simply enlightened green beans, corn, and many improvement. I prefer fla- Happy Dining. 6 Opinions Issue 25 The other side of the desk Take time to reprioritize Letters to the editor Wednesday. Antonia and I Dear Rose-Hulman, how wonderful she was but to know that so have re-evaluated what we many Rose students feel the same way is a own and what we need to own, I know none of you know me, but I can as- blessing to me. You have made our vacation largely to make room in our sume, because I know my grandmother, that so much more than it ever could’ve been. She house for the baby’s things. BT you have heard probably too much about me. no longer has to feel guilty about the money has also, even in utero, caused I want to start out by saying that I cannot it will cost when she knows there are so many me to reflect on a number of even begin to thank you enough for what you other things we need. Because of you, we get things. The shift in perspective have done for my grandma. She is without a to freely enjoy our vacation without a worry. is only going to continue after doubt the most amazing person in my life and Again, I cannot thank you enough and I can the little gal’s or guy’s debut. I would not be where I am without her sup- only hope you know what you have done for Bring it on, I say. port. Losing my mother was the hardest thing her and how amazing she felt last night. I I’m taking Family Medical I have ever had to go through but my grand- hope to meet you all sometime. Leave for the upcoming fall ma has been behind me every step of the way term. September 2012 will be making sure I finish school and be who my Thank you, Corey Taylor • faculty writer the first time since September mother wanted me to be. I’ve always known Katie 1983—the year before I started On Wednesday afternoon, kindergarten—that I won’t be merican ociety the orld my wife and I went to her doc- going back to school in one ca- A S & W : tor for a pregnancy checkup. pacity or another at the start Antonia is late in the third of an academic year. I’ve gone trimester, so at this point her from kindergarten to a profes- One nation, under the influence visits occur weekly. Shortly sorship, in school from 1984 to Viktor Goben • staff writer However, the law recognizes of those same drugs by people after arriving at the crowded 2012, straight through with no only select drugs as “good” or who seek to not have to live with office she weighed in, had breaks apart from summers. “The chemistry lesson from “bad.” How are these selected, themselves day in and day out. her blood pressure taken, Please note: Taking a “break” last century is that no drug has you ask? Lobbying, archaic mo- What constitutes legitimate and chatted with the nurses. in the summer doesn’t mean ever caused as much problems rality systems, and the ability to treatment and recreation? That’s A forty-minute wait later and that professors don’t work. as the attempts to rescue us impose taxes on it—for states and something best left to historians we saw the doctor. Yes, we’re free of teaching (un- from them.” - Arnold Trebach, the federal government. and scholars. After all, alcoholic Everything’s going swim- less we offer summer courses) professor emeritus. More and more special interest beverages have been safer than mingly, but we did learn that and service (unless we have Our grand and glorious soci- groups seek to restrict what they water for a number of centuries the baby’s at 37 weeks, not special commitments). Yes, ety has reached an interesting define as “bad drugs” by getting and yet, this then-daily con- 36 weeks—37 weeks is con- sometimes we kick off to ex- point. We accept those who politicians to further bans on the sumption would be condemned sidered full term for a fetus. otic places like New Jersey, take drugs to regulate emo- use of those drugs, typically under by modern society and doctors. Pinpointing a conception date but we’re also doing our own tions, habits, and even a lack the auspices of “Public Safety.” All we can do is attempt to de- is apparently an inexact sci- scholarship (Rose-Hulman of self-control, but we look Is this writer advocating the velop a fair and balanced policy ence, and we were surprised professors do indeed conduct down upon those who take broad use of all drugs with no with regards to drugs and their by the news. Now, the due research of all sorts) while we drugs recreationally. And it is regards for the law or regula- use. date is May 22 instead of enjoy our families, our friends, not merely the currently illegal tion? Certainly not. Is this writer Until Americans can get May 29. There’s also a chance and ourselves. I recommend drugs of marijuana, cocaine, advocating the broad banning their act together on their (we don’t know how big of a that everyone follow a similar ecstasy, and PCP. of all medication until it can be views on drugs, the rest of the chance, but a chance none- plan on breaks. Americans continue to charge thoroughly tested? No, largely world will continue to be frag- theless) that BT—Baby Tay- And please don’t think that onward with the belief that because some effects take years mented in terms of what is ac- lor, whose sex and name will I think I’m going to be on va- stamping out alcohol and tobac- and decades to have significant ceptable and what is not. remain under wraps until cation this fall: BT’s not going co will cure all ills, despite pop- health impacts (e.g. asbestos). Now if you’ll excuse this her / his birthday—might ar- to take care of her- or himself. ping whatever anti-depressant What this writer seeks is a bal- writer, he needs another cup rive earlier than May 22. Or, I’ll be working, just not on makes them feel nothing for the ance between using drugs for of acidic, caffeine-infused, maybe later than the new due campus, and probably sleep- 16 or so hours a day that they legitimate treatment and recrea- plant-derived, hot water to go date. These things are esti- ing less than many of you stu- have to be awake. tion and disallowing the abuse with his paracetamol. mates, after all. dents out there. The pregnancy has been Usually in this space, I try to and continues to be as worry- connect seemingly disparate Are “Invisible Children” really invisible? free as we could hope. An- elements in order to make a Thomas Dykes • staff writer situation on the ground and of up signs and changing your Fa- tonia and the baby have re- larger point. I don’t know if American media. cebook profile is an easy way to ceived and are receiving good I’m doing that here, but I’ll try “Invisible Children” has As Americans, we have been feel like you are “making a differ- medical care. Our excitement anyway: Everyone at this col- come to Rose. Some well- trained to view everything as a ence” while expending a mini- has been building, especially lege—students, faculty, staff— meaning individual has put conflict between the “good” and mum of time and energy. This these last few weeks, as the should take time to reprior- up signs on campus, alerting the “bad.” Invisible Children phenomenon is relatively com- nursery has been completed itize and reassess every once the unaware to the villainy plays on this with impressive mon, but I doubt there has been and we’ve bought and re- in a while. Granted, you don’t of Joseph Kony, infamous results. Kony is bad. Therefore, a beneficiary as useless and mis- ceived extensive baby gear. need to have a kid to do this, for his use of child soldiers. those who oppose him must be guided as “Invisible Children.” Wednesday was something but that happens to be where Invisible Children’s video, good. This logic has propelled I don’t blame supporters; of a shock, though. There’s I’m coming from here. “KONY 2012,” went viral last Invisible Children to wild suc- they just want to feel good and more to do, at home and at Relax a little this summer. month, greatly increasing the cess; it is also deeply flawed. avoid being viewed as unhelp- work. Can you say “car seat Finish the academic year awareness of these “invis- The Ugandan military, the ful and myopic. However, these installation” and “end-of- strong, but after that make ible” children. preeminent force in the region, people need to recognize that term grading?” sure to cool off. Too many of I put quotes around “invis- has a long history of rape and sometimes nothing is better What a difference a week us are wound too tightly—I ible” because these children are looting; to support them against than something, and that their makes: seven days doesn’t include myself on occasion— not truly invisible. Americans Kony, as Invisible Children has naiveté will be exploited by “In- seem like a vast expanse of and it can be unhealthy. may have been unaware of Jo- done, is effectively supporting visible Children” for the profit time, but it feels like one I’m interested in where seph Kony, but to say that these the lesser of two child rapists. of their employees. in this case. Our first child Rose-Hulman is going, and children are “invisible” is to say In other words, Invisible will be born after the end of I’m certain that when (be- that the only eyes that matter Children is contributing classes and before the start fore?) the winter term begins are American. Kony has operat- to the problem and call- of final exams, one day after I’ll be ready to come back. ed as a cult leader in Uganda for ing it the solution. Invis- senior grades are due and However, I’m much more in- twenty five years—enjoying sig- ible Children’s actions one week before everyone terested in and excited about nificant visibility and attention. reflect its videos; excellent else’s grades are due, nine raising my daughter or son, To call these children “invisible” at looking good and easy days after Mother’s Day and and seeing who she or he will is incorrect. to digest, but incredibly three days before Antonia’s be. I feel fortunate to have This visibility presents a naïve and ultimately inef- birthday. I know that BT’s the opportunity to spend six question: if Kony is so visible, fective. birth will be as wondrous and months with my newborn why hasn’t anyone stopped Invisible Children ex- life-changing an event as eve- and my wife. him? The answer requires an ploits the phenomenon of ryone has been saying. I can’t think of a better rea- understanding of both the “pop awareness.” Putting In fact, the impending birth son to stay home, or of two is already changing things. better people with which to Sometimes it’s better to keep a hands-off approach to the world’s problems. This process began before spend time. http://kony2012.com 4 May 2012 Sports 7 Five in a row for men’s track and field Matt Dierksmeier • sports editor 400 relay team of Stallings, ual events and earned vic- meter relay team. Junior on Thursday, the Rose- Coleman, freshman Blake tories in both the 4-x-100 Creasy Clauser attributed Hulman outdoor track and Capitalizing on victories Schulthies, and junior Ty- and 4-x-400 meter relays. a first-place finish in the field teams were bestowed in six out of the twenty ler Han- 400-meter with 13 all-conference hon- events at the HCAC Out- nan added run and ors. Sutton Coleman was door Track and Field the sixth contrib- awarded with the HCAC Championship, the Rose- victory for uted to the Men’s Outdoor Track Ath- Hulman men’s track and Rose-Hul- win in the lete of the Year decoration. field team captured their man. 4-x-100 Junior Liz Evans was cho- fifth straight HCAC title. In total, meter re- sen as the HCAC Women’s The championship, held at the Fight- lay. Jun- Outdoor Field Athlete of Franklin College last week- in’ Engi- ior Tanya the Year. Head coach Larry end, featured the top ath- neers tal- Colonna Cole and his accompanying letes from all eight confer- lied 208 added the staff were voted as Men’s ence schools. points as other indi- Outdoor Coach of the Year. On the day, two meet a team to vidual win This is the eighth time Cole records were broken, one beat out for Rose- has been named HCAC being the 16’0” mark put second Hulman in Coach of the Year. in by Rose-Hulman junior place Defi- The Rose-Hulman men’s team come together as one to celebrate in a the pole Individuals from the Collin Crowson in the pole ance Col- similar fashion for the fifth straight year. vault com- Rose-Hulman track and vault event. Finishing in lege, who Rose-Hulman Athletics petition. field team will travel to first place in the 110 and finished The com- participate in the Billy 400 meter hurdles, senior with a total of 129. The last They would finish fourth bined Rose-Hulman squad Hayes Invitational at In- Sutton Coleman captured time an athletic squad from overall over the two days of secured second-place hon- diana University this Fri- his 20th and 21st HCAC Rose-Hulman has captured competition. ors in seven events. day. The competition will championships. Winning five straight champion- Highlighting the effort In an announcement by feature athletes from Divi- in the 5,000 meter run, ships dates back to 1985- for Rose-Hulman was jun- the HCAC league office sions I, II, and III. senior Micah Aldrich net- 1989 when the track and ior Liz Evans, who captured ted his third outdoor title. field team accomplished her second consecutive Adding a victory in the long the feat in the College Ath- conference championship jump competition, junior letic Conference. in the high jump and also Travis Stallings rounded At the championship, the the long jump event. She Men’s tennis to out the individual winners Rose-Hulman women se- also ran the anchor leg for Rose-Hulman. The 4-x- cured wins in four individ- for the victorious 4-x-100 play in HCAC Engineer baseball tourney guaranteed spot in Matt Dierksmeier • sports editor Unsure of their postseason contention as of last weekend, the Rose-Hulman men’s tennis team needed a victory against Manchester College to safely secure a spot in the HCAC Men’s postseason Tennis Tournament. Facing off against the Spartans of Man- chester on Friday, the Rose-Hulman squad came away with a much needed 8 - 1 win. The victory also guaranteed a 15th Kurtis Zimmerman • news editor in the first game. ior Bobby Newman provided consecutive season with a winning record. Freshman Ben Menich an RBI single, junior Don- The Fightin’ Engineers next faced Hanover College on Sun- A 2 - 1 series finish over pitched the first five in- ald Stopka hit a grounder to day. Now guaranteed a spot in the conference tournament, an- Manchester College this nings with four strikeouts bring in the second run, and other victory would clinch the No. 4 seed for Rose-Hulman. In past weekend sophomore a close match, a victory at the No. 6 singles position by fresh- earned the Hank Akard man Ray Montgomery captured the match 5 - 4 for the Engi- Fightin' En- brought the neers. gineers a spot third run in With a 2 - 0 record on the week at No. 1 singles, Rose-Hul- in the HCAC with a sacri- man junior Ben Paras was named Men’s Tennis Player of the Tournament. fice fly. Week by the Heartland Collegiate Athletic Conference. Paras The Engi- Unfortu- also contributed to a perfect 2 - 0 record at the No. 1 doubles neers stand in nately, in the position with partner Devon Fritz. second place second day of Ending the season with a 9 - 6 overall record and a 6 - 3 mark after Ander- play on Sun- in league play, the Rose-Hulman team will match up against son Univer- day, the En- the No. 5 seeded Ravens of Anderson University. In the only sity earned a gineers fell matchup between the two this year, Rose-Hulman came away three-game to the Spar- with an 8 - 1 victory. The Ravens are 4 - 7 on the year with a sweep over tans 6 - 7. The 4 - 4 record in the conference. College of Senior pitcher Ryan Fuller picks up a save, his fourth of the two teams The HCAC tournament action will take place in Indianapolis Mount St. Jo- season, against Manchester College. stood even at this weekend. The opening round will begin at 9 am on Satur- seph to regain Rose-Hulman Athletics six runs each day. The winner of the HCAC tournament will automatically the top spot. going in to earn the right to play in the NCAA Division III tournament. The three-game series to improve to 5 - 0 on the the bottom of the ninth in- against the Spartans started season, and senior Ryan ning, when a two-out single on Saturday with two wins Fuller pitched the final two brought home the seventh for the Engineers, sweeping innings, holding Manches- run to earn the victory. the day with a 7 - 6 win and ter to one run to earn his Going into their last a 6 - 3 win. fourth save. weekend of regular season The two teams played In the second game, sen- play, Rose-Hulman base- evenly in every inning but ior Jim Bob Schuler scat- ball stands at 25 - 11 overall the fourth, where Rose-Hul- tered seven hits, allowing and 16 - 5 in HCAC games. man's deciding run would just two earned runs and They will face off against be driven in to earn the nar- striking out five batters to Earlham College in a three- row win. earn the win. game series this weekend at Seniors Will Burchett and For the offense, a three- home, where their perfor- Derek Dauenbaugh each run first inning provided mance will determine their Ben Paras became the third Rose-Hulman men’s tennis had two hits and three RBIs momentum to push the En- final standing for the HCAC athlete named as HCAC Player of the Week. to lead the Engineer offense gineers to the 6 - 3 win. Jun- Tournament. Rose-Hulman Athletics 8 Flipside 4 May 2012 acky prof “Why would anyone “I’ve killed more “Get ghetto-fabulous “If you’re honest all want to go to the North monarch buterflies in lab this week.” the time, you can lie pole? It’s cold up there, than Bt toxin has.” –Dr. Shearer. Ghet- whenver you want.” Rose professors quotes and there’s no McDon- –Dr. Coppinger. In to-fabulous, you say? –Dr. Livesay. This, say crazy things. W ald’s.” his ideal fantasy, he Well I guess there’s a coming from the E-mail them to the — Dr. Wollowski. then says “I guess you first *cough* time for teacher who has never Flipside at thorn- Why would anyone could say they... bit everything. lied to us. Wait a min- flipside@rose-hul- want to go to class? It’s the dust,” and is subse- ute... man.edu cold, and there’s no fun quently high-fived by in there. everyone in the class.

Special Notice: Stay tuned for the announcment of the “Great” Wacky Prof Quote Winner in next weeks issue of the Thorn. In the mean time, keep sending quotes! Top “10” Ten News Panties Most easily misinterpreted science terms and phrases Phil McRoch • I’m new here, please be gentle Staff • because without more to do look more like Overzealous students protect turtles from skin cancer 10. Engineering stress: This totally explains why upperclassmen laugh when they A small group of (smelly) students stood on the bridge linking tell freshmen how great the “stress” classes are. the Union and Speed with protest signs Tuesday, calling for the protection of Hose-Rulman’s famous turtle family, known as “The 9. Spaghettification: If it’s half as delicious as it sounds, sign me up for the next Turtles.” The Turtles are well known on campus for their presence class that teaches about Spaghettification! in Speed Lake. Hose-Rulman provides free housing—in the form of a rock in the lake—every year for the Turtles. 8. Greedy Algorithm: Bad credit? No credit? No problem! This algorithm is 53% A protest was called together after one student, Hip E. Animu- guaranteed to make you oodles of money – enough oodles to fill half a dozen top hats lover, noticed the entire family of turtles sitting on a rock in the and buy yourself a pinstriped suit and a monacle. middle of the day. “We give them free housing and that’s sooo nice. But they’re out there all day on top of their house in the sun, 7. Squeeze Theorem: While useful, the theorems from which it is derived, the and nobody’s even thought to give them sun screen! If we don’t “massage theorem” and the “pumping theorem,” are much more effective in practice. do something, like, right away, they’re gonna get Shellanoma or something.” 6. Buckyballs: This is what I can only assume is the nickname given to the most A local veterinarian anatomically correct mechanical bull ever ridden. was brought to campus to examine the turtles. 5. Power Screw: There’s no good explanation to what this could mean. On the After several minutes other hand, possible antonyms could include: the lame duck, the sad salmon, and the he claimed they had 2004 Switchfoot album “The Beautiful Letdown.” a clean bill of health, and he confirmed that 4. Stimulated Emission: The coherent “output” from an “active medium” when Shellinoma is, in fact, driven by “oscillatory motions.” Ref. #7: “Squeeze Theorem.” not a real disease. Ad- ministrators said that 3. Transitional Johnson: The Transitional Johnson is necessary when transfer- while there are no current ring from one Johnson to another. plans to further aid the Turtles at the time, they will continue to look out 2. The Big Bang: What is typically referred to as the predecesor of the short nap. for their wellbeing. 1. The Hairy Ball Theorem: Yeah, seriously. We’re not even kidding. Look it up. The best part is, we’re pretty sure that the guy who developed it knew the implications Melissa Schwenk • the Flipside’s #1 “News Panty” investigator of the phrasing. Vote to change “Colored Pants Day” to “No Pants Day” passes

A recent vote held by the student body has passed the proposal to Philosophical change “Colored Pants Day” to “No Pants Day” by a landslide. The popular weekly tradition of colored pants began last year when a Thought of the group of students noticed they had a large number of the slacks and no set day to show them off. Many less fashion-forward students felt left Week out, leading to the proposal. One student, Sam Sleezie, explained why he had supported the pro- r month or whatever O , posal: “I have no idea what color of pants to buy, but I am king of not wearing pants. Heck, I’ve gone months without pants during the summer.” Who is this Shawty? Male students turned out in droves in the hopes of seeing female students in their skivvies on Thursdays through the rest of the year, failing And why is she so popular? to realize only boys would be willing to follow the new tradition.

Stephen Mayhew • expert comic writer and former pirate

From this moment on, this section of the paper will be known as the Disclamation of Independence. At some point, when I have enough willpower and there are no good movies or TV shows, I will write the Bill of Rights for the Flipside. To be honest, though, they’ll probably just be a bunch of bad puns and dirty jokes. On second thought, they’re probably not worth writing down at all. Dang it. Fine, from now on this portion of the Flipside will be known as the disclaimer. Ahh, what a relief. It feels good to have things back the way they used to be.