STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF LETHBRIDGE a MELIORIST VOLUME 31, ISSUE 26, APRIL 3, 1997 The Arrogant Worms' Too Funny For Words PBA lose three in By Michelle Matula ter the first chorus to remind audi­ Worms' stand up comedy. Together, Entertainment Editor ence members that the animals were silly repetitive actions did not look Northern Idaho dead, encouraging their silence in as foolish as one Worm alone might Kingston's three-man musical these parts. have. For example, the line dance comedy troupe played a full-house Audience interaction was en­ (lift left leg, lift right leg, turn on Friday, March 28 at the Top of couraged on songs like "Rippie the around, clap, turn around, lift right the Lethbridge Exhibition Grand­ Gator." Thc Worms' realized that leg, lift left leg...) in "Lonely Lab stand. the big money is in children's mu- of Broken Hearts." Opening by picking on The sic;and though they don't like chil­ It was not just the silly expres­ Meliorist camera woman (who dren, they do like the kid's parent's sions and gestures that made The swatted them away like flies), The money. After extensive research (lis­ Arrogant Worms Canada's best Worms went on to poke fun at tening to children's music until their comical musicians, however. life's little ironies, bringing smiles ears bled), The Worms realized that They're loved for their ingenious to the faces of all in attendance. a successful children's song re­ lyrics, as in "The Mountie Song" The Worms' fun spirited lyrics, quired: (1) cute animals, and (2) a which laughs at how Disney bought and catchy tunes had audience repetitive action and sing-along cho­ the Canadian icon, and how the members singing and clapping rus. Unfortunately, all of the cute Mountie pales in comparison to a along almost immediately. This fluffy animals already have songs, Yankee with 14 guns, who'll coyly turned out to be a problem in the leaving "Rippie the Gator" to go smirk "ooohh, you have a gun. You song "Mounted Animal Nature "chomp chomp chomp." Arms in gonna squirt us?" Trail," for when The Worms' sang front, audience members were "The New National Anthem," "where the dog goes and the (ahem) encouraged to "chomp focuses on Canada's size, empha­ bear goes ... and the cow goes ... chomp chomp." Those who did not sizing that we're the second largest and the pig goes ..." the audience "chomp" were singled out, because country, but if Russia keeps shrink­ members were all too-anxious to as Mike explained it, "If everyone's ing, we'll soon be first (as long as inject "rufff ... grrrr ... moooo ... doing it, then nobody looks foolish." oink." Trevor stopped the song af­ This is a key component of The (See Worms on page 11) file photo By Stephen Tipper as he gave up four hits and three Sports Editor walks. Ross Egan then came in and was eventually tagged with the photos by Bobbi Scheelar The Prairie Baseball Academy loss, giving him an 0-4 record. lost two of three games to North­ Kendall went 2-3 with three Chris, Trevor, and Mike (left to right) revealed their comical musical skills at a ern Idaho over the weekend to RBIs and a double. Gibb went 2-3 packed all-ages show Friday night. bring their record to 4-14 on the with one RBI. »» season. On the season, offense has not Bill C-71 "Dribble They lost the first game 11-1 been a concern. Samuel leads the with Brent Zulyniak taking the team in most offensive categories. By Shawn Schroter ments to use tobacco products and speculated that the Tobacco Act will loss. Two bright spots were Chris He has .580 batting average, .681 Reporter to restrict access to tobacco prod­ not even be put into effect. As Globe Moreside and Aqil Samuel, who on base percentage, .720 slugging ucts." The bill states that " No per­ and Mail columnist Jeffrey Simpson both went 2-6. percentage, two home runs, and 10 Bill C-71, which is described as son shall furnish (to sell, lend, as­ theorized, "A June election would A 10-3 win for the PBA was stolen bases. Kendall, Gibb and 'an Act to regulate the manufacture, sign, give or send, with or without wipe out certain important legisla­ the highlight ofthe weekend. Zach Delton Kruk follow him with .364, sale, labeling and promotion of to­ consideration, or to barter or deposit tion now before parliament, such as Murray got the win. He gave up .346 and .294 batting averages. bacco products," was passed by the with another person for the perform­ bills on environmental assessment, just six hits in six innings, struck Rob Linstrand set a PBA record House of Commons on March 6th. ance of a service) a tobacco prod­ drug patents and perhaps tobacco out seven and had only two runs for home runs when he hit his third It replaces the Tobacco Products uct to a young person in a public- advertising. A cynic would say, tagged to his name. of the season in the second game. Control Act and thc Tobacco Sales place or in a place to that the public however, that the death of these bills Two leadoff walks in the first The team is batting is also bat­ to Young Person Act. Interestingly reasonably has access." would suit thc Liberals just fine. We followed by a home run from Rob ting an impressive .280 and has a enough, while the bill was expected The Tobacco Act (C-71) also tried, the Liberals would argue, but Linstrand gave the PBA a 3-0 .364 on base percentage. to cause a stir among Tobacco lob­ prevents tobacco companies from the dastardly Tories in the Senate lead. They never looked back. It has been the pitching that has byists, it has also resulted in ani­ sponsoring sporting and entertain­ blocked the bills." They stole six bases and left five been the PBA's weakness. Their mation within Quebec's provincial ment events. In Montreal, Tobacco In response to the notion of re­ men on base. ERA is 7.58, they're walking an government and many residents of sponsorship brings in millions of striction on tobacco advertising, Jeff Kendall, Josh Gibb and average of 6.5 batters per game, Quebec. Adding to thc issue is thc dollars each year. For instance, the Health Minister David Dingwall Korey Yushchyshyn all went 2-4. opposing batters are hitting .323, city of Toronto's decision to restrict Canadian Grand Pix generates $50- responded with, "Dribble coming In the rubber match the PBA and opposing batters have an on smoking in Toronto restaurants and million in one weekend alone. Ac­ from a separatist group over there, lost an entertaining game 11-6. It base percentage of .445. bars, unless owners build a sepa­ cording to Normand Legault, direc­ who have no understanding, have was see-saw battle until the bot­ The PBA play the University rately ventilated space. tor general of the Grand Prix, done a major Hip Hop. They sup­ tom of the fifth when Northern of Williston from North Dakota According to Bill C-7 l's sum­ "Should the bill be adopted in its ported this bill on second reading Idaho scored five runs after the this Saturday and Sunday at mary: "Thc purpose of this enact­ present form, this year's event could and now the heat has been turned PBA had just come back to score Henderson Stadium. Two games ment is to protect the health of Ca­ be canceled by the federation, defi­ up, and they're running like rats off six in the top of the fifth. North­ are scheduled for each day, with nadians and, in particular, to pro­ nitely." a ship to try to get some protection." ern Idaho outhit them 11-8. the Saturday games starting at 1 tect young persons from induce­ Even so, some cynics have Of course, the decisive action will Jay Foster started but could p.m. and the Sunday games start­ come when the Senate decides only go two and one third innings ing at 9:30 a.m. whether or not to pass Bill C-71. CKUL Mark Chestnutt From the Crossword JOBS... JOBS... SURVEY RESULTS Bench Puzzle JOBS... Career and News Entertainment Sports Comment Employment Services W A1 UP«W 11 A T ' S U P • W 11 ,. T ' s U P • W 11 A T S U p . W II A T ' S UP' W II A T S U P w s U P • W 11 A T s U P • W II A T ' S ft P • W II A T s U P w s U P • W H A T s I p . \\ 11 A T ' S U P • W H A T S ft P WHAT'S; DP {• p . W 11 ATS U P • W H A T s u P w I W II A T U P • W H A T s U P • W 11 A T s State cf the Arts in Volunteer Opportunities The Rez ABC Alberta United Foundation for Disabled Archers. Canadian Chapter: There is an urgent need at this time, Speaker: Claude Lapalme, as the organization gets underway, for volunteer assistance CAB Music Director, Lethbridge most criticallly in the area of clerical support. Ideally, Symphony, Ded Deer April 5 th in the Zoo Symphony volunteers should have some interest in archery; however any assistance with data and word processing, filing and Moderator: Jean Evans, Tickets $2 for Rez, $3 for nonrez undertaking other clerical duties by anyone with some Vice President Lethbridge Tons of Prizes and Food time and preferably the ability to work out of their home Symphony Association.