STUDENT NEWSPAPER of the UNIVERSITY of LETHBRIDGE Thursday, February 1, 2007 2 Editorial the Meliorist February 1,2007 Meliorist
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Volume 40 Issue 19 www.themefiorJst.com STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF LETHBRIDGE Thursday, February 1, 2007 2 Editorial The Meliorist February 1,2007 Meliorist mohio'ririm (meol'e riz'm. me'le e-), n the dOCttlnt that tho world tends to become better Our stupid language or may bo made bettor by human effort An autonomous body, separate from tho U of L Students' Union SU-166. 4401 University Drive West, I Bttlbridfle, AB T1K 3M4 Phone: 329-2334 [hi; Meliorist is the student newspaper of tha University of Lethbridge. published mott rhundayi throughout the academic /o;ir by r*he Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body Please address all correspondence to The Meliorist. 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge. Alberta. UK 3M4 or drop ll off at room SU-166 Deadline for submissions is Sunday at noon. TheMeliof ata| I encourages the a timely letters However, The Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters which are signed al arrangements may those wishing anonymity, but absolutely no pseudonyms), contain the name, address, telephone number an*-! student identification number . I D and phone number not for publication) Letters may be edited for '.larity and legality The Mehcnst reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material [ ditor-in-( hiel Chris Hibbard [email protected] Business Manager Kelly Kennedy [email protected] Advertising Manager Maria Berlando ad. manager^' themeliorist.com Production Manager candies while sweetbreads (which able to close it. creativity ofthe human race, which Sarah Fulcher By Chris Hibbard aren't sweet) are meat, not breads. You aren't very likely to see a sow is not a race at all, but a species. This p. manager'g'themel iorist.com Editor-in-Chief We slowly sink in quicksand. pick up some seeds and start to sow, is why "Buick" doesn't rhyme with Boxing rings are square and nor pick up a needle and start to "quick", and why the closest rhymes News Editor guinea pigs are not pigs at all, and sew. Lethbridge is notorious for it's to "orange" might be "porridge" and Shannon Frank n.editorfthemel iorist.com Someday I'd like to be a teacher. don't come from Guinea. wind , and sometimes it winds it way "storage." Initially I wanted to be an English Writers may write, but fingers down streets and around corners. Will a dictionary help me with my Entertainment Editor teacher, but since doing ED2500 don't fing. Likewise grocers don't Give me a minute, while I find the diction? Will a thesaurus give me an Amy Dewar with a class of grade 5 students, groce and hammers don't ham. minute tear in my jeans, and shed a alternate word for thesaurus? Or is e.editor*?' themeliorist.com my focus on EngVish Yvas \essened Then there's p\ura\\zation. The few tears about it while in the shed. it merely a very learned dinosaur? Sports Editor somewhat. Anyone who has ever plural of tooth is teeth, but booths By now, vou can see all the What I've mentioned most in this Ainsley Doty taught anything to elementary-age aren't beeth. Add one goose and inconsistencies here, all the ramble are words that are large or [email protected] children will know that in a Primary you've got two geese, but more than contradictions and little headache- clunky and marginally uncommon. school setting, the English teacher one moose is still not meese. Since inducing loopholes that are inherent Yet as someone recently pointed Features Editor Office Assistant •n also the Science teacher, as cactus become-- cacti, and crisis to our language. I suppose you out to me, one of the words that is Tabitha Schaub f.editorC themeliorist.com well as the Phys Ed teacher. What becomes crises, and even an index can't see them actually, because the most over-used and which has multi-meanings (not the F-Word, I'm getting at I sup; •• that this becomes indices, where might a they're effectively invisible, but I Photo Editor decision of mini to si m the penis fit I '.••under'.-' digress, and then continue right which is a whole different beautiful Heather MacBeath goal of straight-up ioo'Jo English Then there are large grouping along. (Not write a long, for that's beastie) is just a wee two-letter word p.editors themeliorist.com teacher might actually turn out to abstract notions. We make amends meaningless.) - "UP." be a blessing. and we make amendments, but to If we're injured, we might have Up is a direction - be it up towards Webmaster Matt Sletto After six years in and around amend something may mean to fix, a bandage wound tight around the the sky. or up at the top of a list. I webmasterOthemeliorist.com the journalism editing busin. repair, revise, or just change. wound. The farm that produces, guess it's the direction we go when have determined that English is an We can have a bunch of odds and ends up marketed in the produce we wake up, right before we stand Distribution Manager incredibly stupid language system. ends - though which is which, we'll section. If the town dump or landfill up. George Andrews Not only is it a hodgepodge of Latin. never know, and if we throw all of gets too full, they might decide to Sometimes in meetings, a topic d.manager'.- themeliorist.com Greek. French. Native American them away but one. which is left? An refuse any more refuse. High quality comes up. If the topic is important. Production Assistant and Spanish, it's just downright odd? Or an end? Polish furniture deserves high we call up our friends. Sometimes Herleyna AbdulHamid complicated, with hundreds of little Of course, the English language has quality furniture polish. we need to lighten up, brighten up, [email protected] rules that are difficult to grasp. great aspirations, and attempts to If you're not in real danger while cheer up, or just show up. Because of this, I feel a certain encompass absolutely everything. you're lost in the desert, vou may If the drain is stopped up. or Creative Designer level of sympathy for international The teacher taught, but the choose to desert your dessert. They plugged up, we might need to open Amber Herbison ([email protected] students and new arrivals to this preacher didn't praught. A say there's no time like the present, it up, which could be gross and make vegetarian eats only vegetables, country, who may attempt to to present our presents, which may us want to throw up. Printing better themselves by acquiring a so should a humanitarian be just be our presence. I'd say it's quite forgivable to mess Southern Alberta knowledge of English. This go< synonymous with cannibalism? Our We shouldn't forget that a slim many of these words up. and maybe Newspaper Group some children as well, those who local drama majors (who are not chance and a fat chance mean the screw a whole sentence up. At worst. might not be particularly gifted with Majors like the military rankj recite exact same thing, but a wise man without practice, our writing abilities Contributors: a love for words. Not every child at a play and play at a recital. and a • are far removed in might dry up, and then we'd need to Chris jappert will make the Spelling Bee finals or Some of us drive on parkways and meaning. polish upon our English skills. Tanya Plonka complete their required houi in drivev. We huddle together with jaws So, before (not bee tour) I'm Travis Tetreault the annual Readathon. by truck, but send cargo by ship. open as our house burns up, or through (not threw) and m\ time Scribble Wymer Addie Kapadder The following may be • Our : .--times run. but our burns down, either one is acceptable. (not thyme) is up. keep in mind all )o*hua Schroeder may need to read avoid smell, While said house is burning, the tire these silly rules, and you'll notice Scott Hodgins confusion.) re are al alarm might go on, or go off, either many more every day. |oe McGuire words that look the same, are way makii:. Not quite as artistic as Chinese According to the English language. me, and sometimes When I go to the doctor I have a characters, not as extinct and wack) 1 egg in eggplant, no ham even sound t: • I mean e - 1 can till in a form or till out as Sanskrit, and not as prett) to in hamburger, and pineapples different thi a form. listen to as is. say French or Italian. Keel tree tu email any concerns, contain neither pine, nor apple. A dove is a bird. I dove off the Now, linguists and etymologists I'd still say that English must be one questions, letters, comments, com English muffins were not invented diving board. There's lead in my could probably explain all these of the hardest languages to master. plaints, story ideas or contributions in England and French fries have pencil. It takes the lead. I don't little quirks to me better, but that I know that I'm still trying to figure to EINCothemeliorist.com. Dead nothing to do with France. According object to too many objects and if I'm would spoil my fun. it out after nearly 30 years. line for all submissions Is Sunday to old English, sweetmeats are too close to the door, I may not be The English language reflects the at noon.