Grand Valley State University ScholarWorks@GVSU

Volume 20 Lanthorn, 1968-2001

9-11-1985 Lanthorn, vol. 20, no. 02, September 11, 1985 Grand Valley State University

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Recommended Citation Grand Valley State University, "Lanthorn, vol. 20, no. 02, September 11, 1985" (1985). Volume 20. 2. http://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/lanthorn_vol20/2

This Issue is brought to you for free and open access by the Lanthorn, 1968-2001 at ScholarWorks@GVSU. It has been accepted for inclusion in Volume 20 by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks@GVSU. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Grand Valley State College Student run newspaper 7 be JLcwtbwivt Volume 20 SEPTEMBER 1 1, 1985 - ALLENDALE, MICHIGAN Up With People ready for Grand Rapids

The Up, With People Shou is coming to Grand Rapids 1 his highly acclaimed show, is being sponsored by Pine Rest Christian Hospital, and will take place in the (icrald R 1 ord Picld House at 8 pm on I mlav. September 1 3 l p With People is a nor profit independent organization that provides n er and women with a unique learning experience through a toi ibinatx n of trasrl, musical performance, cultural interaction, lommumu irvolve- u.cnt. livirc s< ith hiist fan dies and planned educational nt" Cm fsB L i j f " m . , rat s i t

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Cast members of Up With People Two great comedians team up one more time

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SPORTS: PglO What’s Inside

GVSC/WGVK hold Russian comedian Soccer club set

member drive at Grand Valley for ’85

Pg 2 Pg 8 Pg 10 Page 2 THE LANTHORN - SEPTEMBER 11, 1985 WGVC/WGVK hold annual drive this week

to Broadway’s hottest duo, Public television stations stock, the documentary of the person. Winners will fly via US Giddings presents the truth with music from their many WGVC/WGVK are encouraging 1969 music festival; Summer AIR from Grand Rapids to Pit­ about the great white sharks. musicals viewers to "cast their votes" for Stock, a 1950 musical starring tsburgh and stay at the Sheraton LIVING LIFE FULLY IN Sunday, September 22: public tv with a financial pledge Judy Garland arid Gene Kelly; Hotel at Station Square in-down­ LOVE with Leo Buscaglia. town Pittsburgh. Spending PAVAROTTI AT MADISON of support during the annual fall and King o f Hearts, a whimsical Wednesday, September 18: money has been donated by SQUARE GARDEN. Euciano membership drive, September cult-status anti-war film starring GREAT MOMENTS WITH Rogers Department Store. The Pavarotti performs operatic 13-22. This year's theme is Alan Bates. Viewers will have NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. winner will be determined by a gold, from “Vesti la guibba" "Flection Nights '85,” and ten minutes to phone in votes A decade of highlights. drawing held on the air Sunday, to "Ea donna e mobile." viewers arc invited to voice their for the film they want to see SOUNDSTAGE with TINA September 22 between 11:30 choice with a pledge for their starting at 9 p.m., and the film TURNER. A post-Ike, pre- a.m. and noon. favorite program. Development with the most votes will be "Privatc Dancer" concert fea­ Other program highlights for “ A Time to Remember," the Manager Phil Fleming has an­ shown at 9 1 0 p.m. turing the incomparable Tina “ Election Nights ‘85” include: 1984 fall membership drive, nounced a goal of $2 50,000 and Another special event sche­ Turner. raised $200,259 from 3,12 1 stressed the need for community duled for the drive is the return Friday, September 20: Friday, September 13: pledges between September involvement. of Fred Trost, the popular Mi A PASSION FOR EXCF.L- ONCF. UPON A TIME IS 2 3-30. WGVK, the Kalamazoo "As Channels 3 5/52 have chigan Outdoors host, live in the LENGE: An Evening with Tom NOW: The Story of Princess satellite station, signed on grown, so have the viewers' ex­ WGVC/WGVK studios on Thurs­ Peters. Grace. October 1. pectations about the kind of day, September 19 at 7:30 p.m. RODGERS AND HAMMER- Saturday, September 14: public television they want for Trost will present taped seg­ STEIN : THE SOUND OF COUNTRY CELEBRATE S themselves, their families and ments shot earlier in the day AMERICAN MUSIC. A salute their community," says Fleming. around Grand Rapids, outtakes AMERICA, with Mel Tillis, "Our primary goal has been to from past programs, and infor­ Roy Clark and Janie Fricke. meet or exceed those expec­ mation and advice directed at his ELVIS: THE 1968 COME­ tations. " audience of hunters and fishers. BACK SPECIAL, featuring hits from “ Hound Dog” to “Heart­ News Notes Helping to raise necessary Children's programming has al­ operating funds for the tele­ ways been an important part of break Hotel." “The Real Record of Treating Keeping Between the U S. and vision stations during "Election the public television schedule, Sunday, September 15: the U.S.S.R." will be discussed by Robert J DeVries, in a presen­ Nights '85” are four WOOD and parents who call in pledges THE POLITICS OF LOVE tation on Wednesday, September 18, 1985. at 7:30 p.m., at St. radio personalities: Gary Allen, around Sesame Street, Mr. with Leo Buscaglia. Mark's Episcopal Church, downtown Grand Rapids, North Divi­ Chuck Bailey, Skip Essick and Rogers’ Neighborhood, or Polka EVENING AT POPS: Fiedler's sion at Pearl Street. Mark Roberts. The four will ap­ Dot Door will automatically Greatest Hits. This public meeting, for which there is no charge, offered by the pear at various rimes during the have their names entered in the Monday, September 16: Institute for Global Education as it begins its sixth year, is de­ drive to assist staff members "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood WORLD WAR II: From Blitz­ voted to an examination of factual evidence regarding the main­ with on-air appeals. Vacation Contest." The Travel krieg to the Bomb. The story tenance of the many agreements made between our nation and A special feature of this drive Bug travel agency and US AIR of World War II, told through the Soviet Union. is an opportunity for viewers have donated a trip for a family combat photography and news­ Dr. DeVries is uniquely qualified: a professor of political to vote - literally - for a film to of four to attend a taping of the reel footage. science at Calvin College with international relations and Ameri­ air Saturday, September 21 at children's television program in Tuesday, September 17: can foreign policy as his main teaching areas. Sought as a speaker 9 p.m. “ Reel Choices” offers Pittsburgh at public station JAWS: THE TRUE STORY on the arms control record of the two superpowers, he has also viewers a choice between Wood­ WQED, and meet Fred Rogers in (NOVA). OceanQuest host Al taught five Interim Semester Classes at the United Nations in the study of major global issues. Dr. DeVries is the recipient of a number of fellowships and awards, and is the author of many arti­ cles on the subject of the Soviet Union and international rela­ Your tions, such as his “ How Do We Look to the Russians," in The Grand Rapids Press, in 1980, and “Detente, SALT, and Solzhen­ itzyn: With a Grain of Salt,” m the publication, Dialogue, in back-to-cottege move 1965. Following Dr. DeVries' talk. I.inea I arsen and Alison Heins, is easy both teachers, w ill facilitate a brief dialogue NEW CHORAL (.KOI P ON C. A.M PI S All men on campus who have had singing experience or are interested in learning more with the Packaging Store. about singing are invited to participate in the new Is formed MEN'S GI F F CLUB

Rehearsals are on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 5 00 5 5i) m BOXES Room 156 (.’alder Fine Arts Center Iwu performances arc svhc We’re the mini-moving experts! BOXES duled each semester • Hassle free moving of your stereo, closet full of clothes or roomful of furniture BOXES Need an additional credit!- Men's (dec Club mas be taken tor c re • Guaranteed Premium Packaging Do-it-yourself packing dit enroll in Music 104, Code Number 4064 • Fully insured shipping materials • Delivery to lit y< >ur schedule via UPS 1 ederal Ecxprev No audition necessary just a willingness to work hard and have and reliahic registered freight companies • B<>xes rape l.ihe!*. * .1::. ir.d a lot of tur Come along and be a pan of this new venture on * ubble wr \\ !»>: p • uv’ campus • Beats the 1 :t v >■ irself move ; .1 Kir.^ r.ee !■, •

Free pick-up, guaranteed quotes. This i >ct oher dc in t be vurpnscd 0 vi u see dirts Levis :: ixing w itb drv cleaned ( alvin Keins, or VW "Kcct es’ jockesing with BMW "Kimmers” for parking I he < -rear Y-prie vs Yipcie debate is "cadmg bit (,rand Rapids

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£ ^ AT&T — — The right choice. Page 4 THE LANTHORN - SEPTEMBER 11, 1985

FALL SCHEDULE

NO 16 Years . £ Recreation in the Ravines Alcohol Or Older : hw i Welcome

Wednesday Ladies Night cover: Ladies $2 Guys $3 Thursday College Night Show student ID & cover is $2 Friday Weekend Kick-Off ?3 cover Saturday Bring A Date ?6 per Couple ?4 Single ------.. - =SUNDAY SPECIAL==. . r 16 And Under Join Us And Dance 3pm-8pm $3 Admission Parents Welcome syoycyllpine^^ 784 2062 Faculty Changes-1985 New Faculty

EMMANUEL AMOBI Associate Professor of Accounting DAVID CAMPBELL Professor of Accounting LEE COPENHAVER Instructor of Music MARY DeYOUNG Associate Professor of Criminal Justice EMILY DROSTE-BIELAK Associate Professor of Nursing WILLIAM FORCE Professor of Education PATRICIA HEN SSL F. R Assistant Professor of Hospitality & Tourism Students, your LARRYKOTMAN Associate Professor of Computer Science BRFNDALAZARUS Assistant Professor of Education furniture needs are STEVEN MERRILL Assistant Professor of Nursing R. J. PLANISEK Associate Professor of Management SANDRA PLANISEK Associate Professor of Einance answered with ERIC PANITZ Aissociate Professor of Marketing MARY ELLEN RIVERS Instructor of Mathematics NANCY SHONT'Z Assistant Professor of Biology Goodwill S. ELAINE STOKES Librarian SHARON VANOERLAAN I .ibranan THOMAS YACKISH Associate Professor of Engineering DELLAS HANKF. Assistant Professor of An and Design DENNIS DE VLIN Associate Professor of History Sabbaticals

RUBER I ( l.AKKE, Professor of Social ihoughi and Public Affairs, Social Sciences Division, Winter Semester 1 986 JAMES CLOV ER, Associate Professor of An and Design. Arts and Humanities Division, fall semester, 1985. CILBEK I DAVIS, Professor of I nghsh, Arts and Humanities Division, 1 985-86 academic vear LRSL l.A EKANM.IN, Professor of Foreign l anguages, Arts and Humanities Division, fall semester 1985 RII A (.KAN I. Associate Professor. E E Seidman School of Business, winter semester, 1986 KOBE R I HOE KSE.MA, Associate Professor of Foreign Languages Arts and Humanities Division, winter Sernester, 1 986 J ( )( ) S. I )l\'lSl( )H PALI HLTZENGA, Associate Professor of Biology, Science and Mather ancs Division, winter ( ifcirK i Ktif )K is semester, 1986 STANTON LINDQUIST. Associate Professor. E E Seidman School of Business fall semester 1985 ROSA I. Y N MLSkOVH/, Associate Professor of An and Design Arts ami Humanities Division. winter and fall semesters, 1986 \l< )[ l S< jl )> EILEEN PARE. Associate Professor ot Lhemistn Science and Mathen atics Division winter sen ester, 1986 D :AO- ) PHILIP PR ATI. Professor d Vathen atics. Computer Niem e Science and Mather ancs Division one-half unit, 1985 Ho academic vear BARBARA KDOS. Associate Professor in tr r s,r,,oi .! C.m :: umcations* Arts and IN'u-i-anicirs 7( )"> JH il) S\\ Dmsior, 1985-86 academic vear

1 \( RA SALAZAR -Associate Pro’esSor ;r rr.e s,r,>,,| ,* ( ■■ .jn u * Cions Arts and f*u " ar.Cirs W \ ( l i n i n g I >:v lsiur. fall semester ! v,h 5 JA-Mts s'lH! Associate Pro'rssor ' P' . sk a flmatioi V.rme »:■ : Mattie- atics Divis. • i dd ayaderr. u v ra.r H h V F K I ') s h I M : Mur 1 -in ‘ A'r’ ir~ '■ • >csigr. \rx$ and H^.naiuncs Division ! v k 5 gr ) - D iAiidcrvK vear ROBERI SHECHTMAN Associate Professor ot Musk Arts anj Humanities Division w,r:e semester 1986 Just A tHE LANTHORN - SEPTEMBER 11,1985 Page 5 Thought all here Bob Budlong Editor . Editor Bob Budlong It’s strange how the same event students the decisionless days of college campus must be like ano­ Business Manager Thom Gault . can mean different things to dif­ taking only distribution classes ther world. Today’s students Advertising Aftist Lisa Edelcn ferent people. The first day of are over and. now it’s time to dress funny, talk funny and care Features Editor Rodd Monts classes is like that, and as I was start thinking seriously about about different things than these Chief Photographer Todd Saylor walking to my first-class last going after a major. people. This student may Chief Typesette*. Marge Wangbichler week I couldn’t help wondering Seniors are also easy to spot. wondef how to feed a family > Advertising Manager Donna Hartsell what was going through die They’re the ones Walking with a work-study job, while Advisor Ted Berland minds o f the people I was maddenly slow, looking all the traditional student wants to Published weekly during each semester by the students of passing...... around them, and doingirwilh know if he or she’s going to have Grand Valley State College, Xirkhof Center, Allendale, Michi­ The freshmen were easy to a smile. For them, this is THE enough to buy beer on Saturday. gan, 49401. Telephone 895-7803. sp ot They were the ones year. They've put in three or Yet with all of these different The Lanthorn is funded in pan by the Student Senate of clutching their bags and packs as more hard years at Grand Valley types of people walking around Grand Valley State College. if somebody was going to come and now it’s time for the hard campus, things get done. The The opinions expressed in The Lanthorn are nor necessarily along and knock them out of work to pay off. You might see semester starts and ends on time. those of Grand Valley State College. their hands. You could see them a frown cross their face every —=3Qot3<30ots don’td start. There are few, willing their building to stay now and then, when they’ if any, assaults on campus. It’s As Grand Valley's official right there and not disappear reassure themselves that they’ve enough to make you wonder student newspaper. The Lant­ and make them late for their taken all the classes they need why people living in cities can’t horn welcomes letters arid first class. It was a bigger day going into the year, but that’s live the same way. Lanthorn comments. We ask that every for freshmen than they probably just a temporary slip. They may I think I know why. It’s letter contain the name and told their parents. Grand Valley even wonder what it’s going to because die people here on telephone number of the may not be a big College, but it’s be like graduating and entering campus share a common goal. author. The author's name certainly much larger than the the “real world.” But that They’re all after the same thing, may be withheld, by request, high schools they graduated again, is just temporary. These but there is enough of it floating Letter from publication in certain from. people are on top of their own around that there is little cases. The Lanthorn reserves Sophomores and juniors are a world. jealousy. We’re all after an edu­ 'the right to “edit because of little harder to define. However, Almost unnoticed on campus cation. What everybody does legal or ethical restrictions, or you can still distinguish them are those who have come back with that education is some­ because of space limitations. from the freshmen and seniors to school. Not just from a sum­ thing different, but while on this Publication occurs every Wed­ simply by the way they're hand­ mer break, but from a few yeaFS campus, in this environment, we Policy nesday, with deadline being ling the first day of classes. (or more) in the work force. all are searching for the same the preceeding Friday at 5:00 These veterans of higher educa­ Some of them are in their 30’s, thing. p.m. in The Lanthorn offices, tion try to look as bored as pos­ but that didn’t stop them from Maybe I'm strange, but I find downstairs in the Kirkhof Cen­ sible with the first day of classes. going back to complete their that both amazing and ter. But it’s all a facade. For these education. For these people, the comforting. Chevy, Meisterbrau, and Ford By Steven J. Azkoul A little later an ad for Wang gotten around? Lanthorn Guest Editorial computers was shown. This The Ford Motor Company had To hear the language used in commercial seemed straight­ to tell me about its car, Thun- advertising today is to hear forward and sensible right to the derbird. Ford had the most in­ words and phrases given new end. It was then that Wang’s teresting theme, telling me their meanings and applications. This slogan was heard: “We put Thunderbird “ feels at home on was made perfeedy clear one people in front of computers.” the range.” I’m glad their car Sunday last year. It was during Wouldn't it be hard ro operate a feels at home on the range, be­ BEER, LIQUOR, WINE, the second half of the Lions- computer from any other side? cause I sure don’t. You have to Bucs football game that 1 paid Really, they should change their watch every step you take. Isn’t KEG BEER,LOTTERY close attention to the commen name too. it home on the range where the cials that were aired. I am the Advertisers must think beer deer and the antelope play? fUCKErS,POST OFFICE first to admire the masterful use drinkers watch football. Old These are just a few of the ad­ of metaphors, gain pleasure from Style beer was described in the vertisements I was subjected to. imagery, and appreciate fine next ad. This beer is “pure and Am 1 really supposed to take HOURS: speech, but when advertisers use genuine, brewed slowly and these ads seriously? I guess so. our language in a loose fashion, naturally.” To emphasize how I really don’t mind the beautiful M — TH 7am -11 pm my only reaction can be in­ pure Old Style is, the audience bodies, symphonic music, fan­ FRI & SAT 7am- 12 Midnight difference. is told one of its ingredients. tastic scenery, and all the rest, The first advertisement in­ Old Style is made from “spark- but advertisers must learn to SUN 9 am -9 pm _ volved Chevy trucks. Legions lipp pur** T " nC ware* ” treat—OTTf language, and~Their~ ot slogans were used in the ad, Oh no, can it be that I have been audiences, with some respect. IN STANDAl/E4 5 3 -1007 such as, “tough on the job, easy drinking beer whose water has cn the buck” and “looking 0 ,'4 • ' ''’&£*'■ .-4 " ■**’*' ■ ** proud and tough." References 1 . -y \ . were made to "fun and sun” as iS w ! well as an invitation to “bring on NOW HIRING the mud." Characteristics were given to Chevy trucks, most noteworthy how they “prowl Equipment Room Student and growl." Cats prowl and gTowl, trucks break down and Assistant for the School drink gas! The theme of this ad is that "nothing works like a of Communications Chevy truck." The second ad was much simpler than the first. It was about Meisterbrau beer. This ad’s main point was that Applications taken at 214A LSH. If you have “Meisterbrau tastes as good as an interest in film, video, or photography, stop Budwaser at a better price ” by and see if you have what it takes to be a I This was told to me by a fat man ' •- . 1 member of the 'New' Equipment Room Team. ; | w ho, at one time, could not af­ ford Budweiser, but now he's Note: work study qualification preferred. S5.0O off oerm s iS2.00 off h a irs iy le s ■ . . . „ 4 i ______successful and he still chooses to buy Meisterbrau Never take \ — ■■■ ■'' the word of a successful fat man Offer expires 10/28/85 that buys cheap beer! ...... _ -ystexwr&g. Page 6 THE LANTHORN - SEPTEMBER H r**** '

0 M m " —

die trigger). This Republican when each can adopt hia or her fund-raiser is a logical extension own soldier for a mete 53 cents of policy-making in die age of a week. , DRABBLE *w Kevin Fa*an Reaganomics. The beauty of dm free choice- 1 t in New York, where the public- “ diat we don’t have to hold 1 TRIED TO TeiL SOU It T A K E 6 COURAGE POR transportation system it creaky foreign-policy-debates, we don’t W O N 'T WM ROU) A 60S UMO CAN'T DANCE and sometimes spooky, there is hive To arrive at any sort o f con- 1 TO GO OUT THERE, TO D AN C E, now a private bus company, sensus, we don’t even have to D E N D N l AND In cities where the public- ***“ • In fact we don’t have to school systems are.impoverished, f“n£l government at all. many head for private schools. Why, for dial matter, stop with Social policy has been reduced building private armies? While to one basic principle: You can we are m The business, let us get anything you are willing to encourage the Reagan admini- pay for. % (.stratum to return the tax dollars Sooner or later this was bound dated for new weapons systems to spill over onto foreign affairs. "»<* private citizens, in all If Congress refused to fund the their disparate wisdom, take Contras, then it was natural to ovet- We could begin by holding A t Large turn to the private sector, at 1 hake sale for the MX. I have a Guess who’s coming least to those private citizens swell recipe for chocolate-chip Ellen who regarded Charley as a home- cookies, Goodman team player. Reps. Jim Leach After all, this is an era en to dinner (R-Ipwa) and Mel Levine (D- domestic policy is rapidly be- Calif.) introduced a bill last coming a private affair. Why week to stop this sort of private not foreign policy? The days o military funding, but they’re just privatization began' back when college students to adopt their the Soviet Empire and it’s trying to keep an old-fashioned Reagan fiist starting cutting very own Nicaraguan rebel. Satellite government in BOSTON-Charley doesn’t look government monopoly going. social programs. He maintaine In a macabre twist on the Nicaragua and I need your help. like the sort of fellow the kids The rest of us can now enter that donations and chanty theme of the Save the Children "Last year your Congress cut would normally bring home the era o f Free Enterprise War. would take up the slack, Indm- Foundation, die Fund is telling off our funding .... Please help from college during spring break. F.ach American citizen can have duals would do what the govern students that for a mere $16 a me and my fellow patriots. We Maybe it’s the bullet belt over the wonderful opportunity of ment wouldn t do. It di nt month, only 53 cents a day, haven’t got long.” It closes with his sleeveless T-shirt that sets they can buy one Contra meals the sort of ecological plea that choosing'sides and sending their happen that way, but every bo y him apart. Maybe it’s the M-16 and medicine; maybe they’ll always attracts the young: non-tax dollars to whatever , got the hint. The public sector in his hands that seems just a even get a letter back describing “Save the Contras. ” armed forces they find cute I was going to do less, the private bit menacing, even for the punk sector was supposed to do more. how much better the murder Frankly, I find this tale of enough to adopt Like the looks crowd. So we have gone private, at and mayhem are going. Charley and the Contras a looks of an Afghanistan mullah? But let us keep an open mind least in the sense of service. We The poster pitch goes like this: perfect story for the 1980’s, Give him a couple of bucks-a here. Charley is, after all, the now have a growth industry in “My name is Charley and I am and I don’t say this merely to week. Sick of Marcos? Have an campus poster boy of the Col­ private security systems, a new a Nicaraguan Counter-Com­ lege Republican National Fund. keep Charley from getting angry supply of private jails, and a munist. A Contra. A Freedom auction for the opposition. If bumper crop of private hos­ He is the new star of a fund­ Fighter. at me (although I would feel you prefer Iran and your neigh­ raising campaign to encourage “I have taken up arms against better if he took his finger off bor likes Iraq, why fight about it pitals. Students warned to immunize Since 1983, measles outbreaks- providing free immunization on Measles Immunization is now among college students occur campus October 8 from 9-2pm. required to protect from threa­ with disturbing frequency. The three sites for obtaining the tened measles outbreaks for all Nationally, this year alone, out­ free immunization will be at the college students including those ^ N E E D y Q _ breaks have occured at Ohio Field House Med+Center, Kirk- at Grand Valley State College. State, Boston University, Uni­ off Center Lobby & 2nd floor Exempted ...students are those versity of Michigan, and Prin- Commons Lobby. All students who have documentation of cepea College in Illinois. At should plan to take the immuni­ measles, mumps, and rubella im­ Princepea, there were 128 cases zation unless a check of actual munization occuring after 15 with 3 deaths Any outbreak in­ records shows their measles, months of age. volves risk to others and the nec- mumps, and rubella shot had This is the recommendation cessity for confinement to ones been received after age 15 J jr of the Michigan Department of quarters and lost time from clas­ months. Students who were Public Health and the Immun­ ses. immunized for measles, mumps, ization Practices Advisory Med+Center GVSC has enlisted and rubella prior to age 15 Committee of the Centers for the services of the Ottawa months are at risk and need Disease Control Atlanta. County Health Department in reimmunizari nn JrYsp. gAerrtures cr£

ON CAMPUS jL-O

GYN CLINICS

Sept 25 Oct 9 The Lanthorn! Oct 30 to work for Dec 4 1 Birth Control We are now taking applications tor 'Typesetters 2. Annual Exams & Pap Tests •News, features and sports writers 3. Marriage License Exams * Lay out/production artists ‘ VJednesday Afternoons call •Photographers

bxt 1280 for Appointment. interested persons should apply at The Lanthorn office, located downstairs in the Kirkhof Center Workstudy u o r ry ChaHfrffC. Voir preferred. SH o v j -Et-itow (k 4"V>;r» o r * -f-w o . THE LANTHORN - SEPTEMBER 11, 1985 Page 7

"Each year freshmen converge 3 Do .n o t come prepared to on this campus as flies do to a each class with 6 tablets of jcrap of rotting flesh, using the paper, 3 7 sharp pencils, a 197 ** Jimmy have stinking remains to satisfy their function calculator and a 400 Digging in the own short term desires, filling pocket file portfolio with op­ '"** W a ll their gluttonous intestines with V-~* r tional binder. Please do not W r you seen the death that their very spirit garbage do this it annoys everyone apitimizes." very much. the gurnsey cow -Author unknown 4. Do not gather in litde groups Joe Morford J Welcome freshmen to your first cluttering up the halls year of college here at Grand giggling as if you’re being Valley State. The following is pinched. a list of hints, as it were, to help you be more discrete in your 5. Do not whine about being functioning as a student in hopes homesick. of fitting in. So, get a clue. 6. Do not dress like a flower in -Mainstreaming tactics for bellbottoms proclaiming peace - no one cares. Average Freshmen- 7. And you do not have to take 1. Do not stand in the middle of a shower and drown your- a pathway in a panic looking self in cologne or perfume at the map in the back of everytime you leave your your course description doorstep. Then again hygene book, trying to figure out is a good topic to keep in where your class is. mind. Lastly and mostly do not be­ 2. Do not stick pretzels up your lieve everything everyone tells nose and laugh like a horse you. Have the best of years and because you think you're so try not to worry too much funny. about initiation. ARDEN’S

lOW W. Fulton • Grand Rapids, Ml 49504 • Phone (616)456-7881 Country vocalist Crystal Cayle will be appearing at this weekends Allegan Country Fair See «tory pg. 9 3 block? east of John Ball Park # Your Complete Camera Store a ' w review ‘Arden s is celebrating 5 years of success i 3t their Fulton location, and 32 years of business * Pee Wee is big in adventure

By Todd Saylor All is fine in Pee-Wee’s auto­ than any dream. His house is Staff WriteT mated life of fun and complete filled with mechanical inventions Futuristic Family Hair Care silliness until his big red bike that begin cooking his breakfast Not often docs a film come disappears. He begins a search and feeding the dog Toys $2 oil haircut around that’s only purpose is to that leaves him in a state of dis- abound inside and outside his $5 oil perm be a forum for one mans solutionment and dismay Not home in which even practical comedy. The people from the even his girifriend Doty (a love items such as his sprinkler 1< >r (A ’SC. stu(irnt.s und tucultv Aspen Film Society and Robert he suppresses) can help him system are designed for his Shapiro have given us such a amusement But out of all his 13oO Baldwin film. The man is Pee-Wee possessions the one that brings Jenison, Ml 49428 now. His search leads him to a Herman, and the film Pec-Wee's him the most pride is his big red Boulder Blufl Blaza l'bone (616) 45 7-0940 fortune teller who tells him that Big Adventure, (and it is every­ bike. the bike has been taken to a thing that the tide implies) o ...... y ...... 'TCT i " ...... mysterious place. The basement This film is nearly two hours de­ D|VAL1£Y| s t a t e | \ of the Alamo. d)n his way he Allendale Women's '“BOARD (f) | | \ Christian Temperance voted to the comedy of Pee-Wee meets up with a fugitive of the niiitffiiiiiiii'buJftLi/rnirrriiffiiiimjTniiiiiiiTf: > Herman. Structured superbly law (wanted for raking the label Union Asks into a aghdy wound and exit mgiy hilarious script. A look off a matress), a motorcycle thit is bnghdy colored, and aJ gang whom he dances for. and THESE SCARY STATISTICS most cartoon like reaches out a three hundred pound female and grabs you by your funny truck driver named Large Marge bone and never lets go ( als<- a member of the undead)

I’he story starts out in Prance This film is a wHJ crafted story just as Pee Wee takes the lead in thinks to wnters Phil Hartman. the Tour de France bicycle race Paul Reubens, and Michael < ruising past the competition Virhol who have formulated a ruling upon his gaudy 50 s script that is in constant motion style glossy red cruising bike he !wcnty-six year old director is the picture of successful nerd I'm: Burton has delivered • ivtng Suddenly awakened b\ another worldly silliness that -.is automated alarm dock sen che tone for the comedy be Pee-Wee b plunged into the directs. The biggest problem HH 1I1H|I 111SATURDAY 111 I I I 1. Hill ■ I* ..la amMIDNIGHT an ...a. . ... , li . ■ m u im i li l ^ U reality of morning. That's just with this film b that most SUNDAY 7& 9 pm LAT fine to Herman became reAry people will fed ridiculous laugh $1 with GVSC ID Syonsof«d VrrW ’ » Hardware ing at something to absurd to him s much more fantastic im n n,$2 i without LD JU rJl Psge 8 THE LANtHORN - SEPTEMBER 11,1985 Organizations night will have an-

Cam pus redeves som e renovations

to a spot beside the Commons By Karen Sneller was due to the damage incurred *> Staff Writer upon the surrounding trees by the enamel. This past summer Grand The rock, however, is not the Valley underwent some renova­ only thing which has stirred tions to both the exterior and around the campus. The resi­ interior of the campus. dence halls have seen a Lake Superior Hall received a changes, along with this year's good share of office remodeling. new faces. Under the charge of During the refurbishing several the new housing director, of the academic departments Richard Hankc, the dorms have such as the school of Communi­ been limited to approximately cations, which is now located 150 upperclassmen, with die solely on the second floor, and remaining available spots reser­ the English department, now ved for freshmen. throughout the first. The building of lofts in the Au Sable Hall is also receiving rooms, which had become a some work which will help make popular space maker over the it both more space and energy years has been prohibited due to efficient the destruction Hanke feels The school rock, once located they cause to the room itself. near the bridge, upon which Future changes to look for many sayings and symbols have ward to in the remainder of the been placed by students over the year are the installation of a past several years has found it­ change machine and private self a new home. phone lines with. a long-distance The relocating of the boulder billing system.

Ladies’ Factory Outlet

Ladies’ Clothing from Teens to Queens

6837 Like Michigan Drive OIRMENT 896-5103 HOURS: Mon. 10-8. bag TueJ.-Frl. 10-5:30, Yakov Smirnoff, the Russian comedian featured at this year's Student Organization night. Sat. 10-4 Pet Forner - Manager

■■■■■■■■■■■tfiiiBiiaiiiiiUiBsasii By Joe Braun zations will be on hand at 7 p.m. cluding “Scarecrow and Mrs. Staff Writer to provide information on clubs King” and "Night Court.” 4 FINE STORES TO BETTER and groups ranging from ihe Recently, Smimoff has been Sovict-bom comedian Yakov Accounting Club to Zeta Phi appearing on HBO in Rodney HELP YOU! Smirnoff will bring his special Beta Sorority. Dangerfield’s comedy show and in the new Miller Lite beer com­ brand of Russian humor to Smirnoff, who has been in the mercial. Grand Valley State College's United States for only seven Field House Arena on Thurs­ years, has performed his comedy Scheduled for September 19 is day, Sepr mber 12, at 8 00 p.m. : routine from coast to coast. Dave Rudolf, a singer/songwriter A rising film star, he has The show is the first in the with his own style of Rhythm appeared in “Moscow on the "Night Club Series" consisting and Blues and unique comedy. Hudson” with Robin Williams of weekly performances by both The entertainment is sponsored and “ Brewsters Millions” with local and national entertainers. by the GVSC Program Board Richard Pryor. Smirnoff’s performance is also and is funded by the Student ■51 Monroe Mall N.W. 3150 Plainfield part of GVSC's annual Student Senate. Admission is free and it Smirnoff has also appeared on Organization Night. Representa­ is suggested to arrive early tor a 2 1533 Wealthy S.E. 2883 Wilson, Grandville network television programs in­ tives of over 60 student organi­ good seat. ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ k J B I

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THEtLANTHORN - SEPTEMBER 11,1985 Pi#r9

September 9 -1 4 ,10am - 9pm MISCELLANOUS Corvette Show - Over 30 Corvettes will be displayed. s s A raffle will be held with a 1985 Corvette as first s September 12, 7pm s prize, North Kent Mall. SONGTRESS GAYLE Student Organizations Night - a host of campus or­ ganizations will be represented. 'Russian comedian I Yakov Sniimoff is the featured entertainer, Field o s IN CONCERT House Arena. MOVIES

Crystal Gayle will be appearing at the Allegan County Fair, Saturday, September 14th. September 19, 9pm Combining pop, country and blues. Crystal is an Nite d u b Series Dave Rudolf, Kirkoff Center, 1 September 14 & 15, 7, 9 & Mid. artist whose style is hard to categorize and whose ap­ Free admission. Movie - Beat Street, Midnight show held Saturday peal is as diverse as the voice itself. When asked only, CFA/LAT, $1 with I.D. about her style of music, she replies, ”1 never label my music. I just try to sing good songs and hope that Now through October 9 as many people as possible like what they’re hearing.” Art - A selection o f 18th century wood engravings Obviously, they must. Crystal already has two from the Sander Collection are being displayed, “Platinum” as well as four “Gold" albums to her cre­ Studio 28 Calder Gallery, Open weekdays 10-4. dit She has twice been named “Outstanding Female American Ninja (R), Real Genius (PG), Year of the Vocalist” by the Country Music Association and has Dragon (R), Volunteers (R), Pee Wee’s Big Adven­ received the Same accolade from the Academy of ture (PG), Back to the Future (PG), Teen Wolf Country Music three times. She received a Grammy (PG), Follow That Bird (G), Day of the Dead (R), for her performance of her multi-million seller, European Vacation (PG-13), Compromising “Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue." And she has Positions (PG). OFF CAMPUS twice been named “ Favorite Female Country Vo­ calist" at the American Music Awards. At the fair, Crystal will be performing songs from her new album, “Nobody Wants To Be Alone,” in­ Woodland Mall cluding her current hit single, “ A Long and Lasting September 14, 7:30pm Year of die Dragon (R), Compronising Positions Love,” as well as many of her past hits.

Concert - The rock group Petra, 1985 Grammy (R), Summer Rental (PG), Day of the Dead (R), As her fans know, and anyone who sees her soon m niw»MnmnMW»Mt»iHMMM»inniim ninm w m m w miMMiiimnwMtiMMMa>»ninm«MinninnxMMmtnm«M»( nominees, in concert, Devos Hall. Tickets available Ghost Busters (PG), Volunteers (R), The Black • finds out, Crystal sings from the heart, and that’s throu>ugh Ticketmaster. Cauldron (G). what great music and performing are all about.

OBSERVER Crossword Edited by Charles Preston Fancy Footwork rowSOLUTION IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

ACROSS 1 Fruit 62 Region of 6 The — Kid ' ’ Africa 11 Saunter 63 German river | 16 Breathes 64 Assuage laboriously 65 Creative I 21 Clear. Fr. artists 122 Successful 67 Agitate |2 3 Menu item 68 God L 124 Listening 69 Eat comb 70 Fear* 125 Slavishly 72 Basketball ■ 27 Universally scores 129 Views 73 Less slovenly |3 0 Grown-up 75 Dissemble 131 — for news 76 Dog ■ 32 Experts 77 Posterior 78 Cheerful 133 Winnie-lhe■ LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS Pooh author 81 Alan ----- 134 Claims 82 Rda J35 Celebrity 85 Whip wielder ■36 Pixie 86 Sea 59 Door part 85 City near 1 16 Spoon |3 9 Hail' 87 Flowers 60 Phantom Sacramento 11 7 Europe Asia 89 Fellow 40 Durable 62 Dark brown 86 Intrepid mountain fabrics 90 Reddish yellow 64 Lute of India 88 Petroleum range 91 British baby 66 Pledge 89 Chat 42 Gimmick* buggy 67 Gangs 91 Dish .118 Neck part I 45 L n beg mi re h ed . 92 Send* 113 Alaskan 132 White poplar 6 Pampers part 93 Growing 119 Locate as a chimney 94 Hunt 41 Soothed 69 Challenger seaport 133 Bay 18 Cleansing 71 Bestow outwdrd 120 Metacarpal 48 Verdi opera 96 TV set part 7 Playfully 42 Noisy 114 Envioua 134 English city substance profusely 94 Ill-tempered bone 49 Shows the age 96 Jacket 8 Fur pieces outbursts malice 135 Gopse 19 Football kick person 121 ----- Ruth of 98 Aawan Dam 9 Black Bird 43 Thwarted 72 Lies 115 Hoosegow 136 West German 20 Divots 96 Condeuined | 50 Possessive 10 Make a choice Imitation 74 -— Merman 122 Sonny ---- source 44 97 Prompter 117 Disputed river 26 Open 76 Hereditary I 23 Hole picro mg pronoun 99 Cleanse 11 Unanimously gemstone 120 Biscuit 137 Puts in ■ 28 Attacked social groups 101 Contest. I 52 Soup 100 Hotel 12 Mansions 46 Split tools 121 Big Apple 31 Dedicated 77 Lake Michigan officials 53 Pip* joints 101 Toil 13 Approve 47 Merchant 124 Joint mayor 33 Men oort 103 Gnaw 125 Superlative I 55 Caught 102 Israeli DOWN highly 49 Habitual 122 Make a 78 Solder 105 More compact I 57 Italian statesman 1 Feel 14 Bathe 34 Mount feedings Buffi se s casserole 79 Tropical fruit 106 Rajahs wife 127 Exclamation composer 104 Beached compassion 15 Netherlands 35 In the future 51 Transgressions 126 Worked 80 Fur 108 Fresh expressing 158 Ancient South 107 Inform 2 Frolic city 36 Discovered 54 Former 128 Used clothing 83 Clothing 109 Cake contempt Americana 109 Strikes 3 Window psrt 16 Self-indulgent 37 Waiting room Broadway play 130 More likely ornament 110 Locales 128 Turn to left 159 Feather* 111 Smuggled 4 Covers men 38 Prompt a 56 Copied 84 Fast 1 14 Scrutinizes 129 Immerse 161 Equal 112 Artful 131 Door part 5 Time penod 17 Strawberry person to act 57 Apply for «1 '•* Page 10 THE LANTHORN - SEPTEMBER 11, 1985 4tl

Soccer Club set to kick off season

By Bob Budlong equipment and uniforms, things Editor in Chief that arc taken care of by the SOCCER SEASON 1985 athletic department for varsity As Grand Valley's soccer club teams. DATE DAY OPPONENT TIME PLACE heads into its 12th season, it re­ In spite of this obstacle, Sept 24 Tues Reformed Bible Col. 3:30 pm GVSC mains just that A club. Despite Herrera feels the interest in the Sept 28 Sat •Northwood Institute 2:00 pm GVSC compiling winning records over team is growing every year. He’s Oct 1 Tues G.R. Sch. Bible/Mus. 3:30 pm G.Rapids the last four years. Dr. Antonio getting players who have played Oct 5 Sat Hillsdale 2:00 pm Hillsdale Herrera’s team has yet to be the game before coming out, a Oct 8 Tues Reformed Bible Col. 3:30 pm G. Rapids granted varsity status. large improvement over the early Oct 12 Sat Ferris State 1:00 pm Big Rapids What this means is that the stu­ years of the club. Oct 18 Fri •Hillsdale Institute 3:00 pm GVSC dents who participate on the Under Herrera’s direction, the Oct 26 Sat North wood Institute 2:00 pm Midland team cover most of the cost team will play a nine game Nov 2 Sat Ferris State 11:00 am GVSC themselves. They receive some schedule this year. It’s open to money from the Student any interested student, male or f COACH: Dr. Antonio Herrera (616)895-3211 Activities office to help with female. For more information, \ 119 AuSable \ Hall transportation and referee fees, contact Dr. Herrera at 895-3211 •Homecoming games but they must pay for their own or in room 119 Au Sable Hall.

/— ------Classified Lakers lose season opener Term papers, Resumes etc. HORSEBACK Riding 7 days a week, 10am to 6pm. $7.00 with t guide, $8.00 typed; accurate, protessional, without. Sunset Ride - 6:15 to 8:30 By Roderick Wells V reasonable. d 3 2 - 2 9 o 0 C all $12.00 with reservations. Groups of 8 Grand Valley got on die on 8 carries and also caught or more. HAYRIDES, Parties, Scenic Staff Writer a n y tim e . scoreboard first, when Dan three passes for 13 yards. color tours. Hying Horseshoe Ranch, Dan Green had five catches for Inc. 795-7119. Grand Valley’s football team Newton scored on an inside Students Interested In starting an AA. reverse from 10 yards out. 65 yards, and Tom Kazen group on campus please contact Wayne jumps from the frying pan Help wanted - Bicycle tales and service. made three acrobatic catches Kinzie, Counseling Center. 152 into the fire this week-end After GV’s Chris Panzel threw Experience NECESSARY. Apply @ for 34 yads. Commons, extension 3266. an interception, it took UW- Village Bike In Jenlson or call Brian @ as they host powerful Nor­ Stout just seven plays to Grand Valley will have to 457-1670. thern Michigan Saturday at improve this week against a V______— .------—------j Lubbers Stadium. Game time score. strong Northern team which is 1:30 pm. With the score still tied 7-7 holds an 8-1 record in the If You Don’t Know The Lakers fumbled and in the third quarter, UW- series, and has been averaging stumbled through their opener Stout blocked a Grand Valley 37.2 points per game against last Saturday in losing to punt and recovered it on the DIAMONDS the Lakers. Know Your Jeweler Wisconsin-Stout 23-7. The loss 9. UW-Stout kicked a field For special prices on diamonds, watches spoiled the debut of new goal and led 10-7. & jewelry, visit your nearest head coach Tom Beck. The Lakers fumbled the kick­ Beck deserved better in his off, and on a fourth-and- debut, but penalties and turn- five situation, UW-Stout’s Ron Cheech’s oven led to all of Stouts Wise caught a touchdown pass to make the score 17-7, and to Downtown, Rogers Plaza, points. The Lakers lost the prediction North Kent, and Woodland ball four times on fubbles, seal the victory. had a pass interception, and a Grand Valley’s quarterback blocked punt led to a field situation is up in the air, for Sept 14 goal. since starter Chris Panzel suff­ ered a slight shoulder sep- Play tha outdoor adventure If there was a possible bright sr game of the 80's. Capture the spot for Beck, it was the hope eration. Panzel completed 7 NORTHERN MICHIGAN HAS flag and recapture tha faellngl that his Lakers got all of of 10 passes for 72 yards, A POWERHOUSE. GRAND Individual! and groups may ra- and his replacement, Guy ■erve flald ipaca by calling their fumbles and penalties VALLEY WILL SURPRISE 896-5306 or 896-8601, or (9-75) out of their system. Schuler was 13 for 25 and A GREAT DEAL OF PEOPLE writing to Grand Vallay Tra- Beck told reporters after the 102 yards. BUT STILL COME UP A velers Pert, 8276 Warner Some bright spots for Grand Allendale, Ml 49401. game "We gave them over LITTLE SHORT. SPECIAL $2 DISCOUNT ON 200 yards in field position Valley were Sylvester John­ NMU 26 GAME FEE TO GVSC with those turnovers.” son who rushed for 39 yards CVS 21 STUDENTS.

r ------— ------:------Cherry Street c . r a n d v a l l e y ! Plasma Center 645 Cherry S.E ^ •••» '■x:’" v " y f y ) l r ’ U\ -* 'AI A ■ Ki Al K W 454-8251 • f • Vjt 1 *!< , \ \ ' . \ \ .i'.lA Hours for donations M - Th 7 a.m.-4:15 p.m. T & F b a.m.-3:30 p.m. To the students and faculty of Grand Valley State

Closed Wednesdays College. The members at the Grand V alley OC k C Just a reminder to let HELP OTHERS & RECEIVE A wish to extend an open invitation to anyone wfio the faithlul Grand Val- would lixe to worship our Heavenly Father with us. ley students know that $5 BONUS WITH YOUR WGvC will be back FIRST PLASMA DONATION, Services 10 a.m. - 7 p u n . £ with us this year in The Sunday Scnooi for ah ages 1 1 ■ l o . F Lanthom and on the PLUS THIS COUPON air. 11 transportation needed, PLt.ASt. call 8v5-ODD4 or | Organizational Meeting Tuesday, $7 for first visit during the week o77-58d4. | Sept 17 Contact Office 11 m $12 fur second visit during the week tbe Field House Earn extra income weekly by donating plasma THE LANTHORN- SEPTEMBER 11, 1985 ***** 11

% - - -- v zjsr-?. o> s r £ ? t- ■£ V* Berle, Youngman team up

Con't from Pg. 1 ploys no writers now. His men­ MasterCard and VISA are tal backlog of thousands of jokes welcomed. Tickets can also be the Texaco Star Theatre and (he tells between 200 and 250 in purchased at all Believe in Music "Uncle Miltie" became a natibn- 45 minutes) is sufficient. “I stores. Boogie Records Kala­ al institution. Other TV shows know thousands of jokes. One mazoo store and Video Rack, followed; the Berle Buick Show, reminds me of another.” Along Three Rivers. The Kraft Music Hall, the with his familiar violin which he Milton Berle Show and an on­ has been playing since he was going string of specials and guest eight, he is known for his rapid- appearances. Berle's career on fire one-liner style. It was stage, films, and television is Walter Winchell who dubbed Hoffman, capped by an avocation as a him "King of the One-Liners,” songwriter with over 400 pub­ and it stuck. Perhaps his most lished songs including “ I’d Give famous joke is one that emerged Rubin a Million Tomorrows” and in casual conversation. The "Sam, You Made The Pants Too classic one-liner “Take my wife, Long." please” referred to his wife Sadie debate HENNY YOUNGMAN, billed and is the title of his 1973 as "Special Guest Distraction" biography. Youngman says, coming in for the show will team up with “I’m very happy in my life, but Berle for “ An Evening of 1001 I’m not satisfied. I should have Laughs.” Youngman credits gone further. I should be in the October Berle as having been his mentor. upper stratum after 50 years of This October, don’t be As a Icid with a concession out­ working. I want it to happen surprised if you see dim side the penny arcade near yet.” And who knows, maybe it mixing with dry-cleancd Calvin Loew’s State on 45th Street, will. Kleins, or V W “Beetles" Berle, already a vaudeville star, Tickets for "An Evening of jockying with BMW would stop and trade jokes with 1001 Laughs” featuring the "Bimmcrs" for parking. The Youngman. “I became a Berle comedy giants MILTON BERLE great Yuppie vs Yippie debate groupie,” said Youngman. and HENNY YOUNGMAN are is heading for Grand Rapids “Wherever Milton was, I was. on sale at the Miller Auditorium On Wednesday, October 16, He always encouraged me.” The ticket office. Ticket* may be in the Fountain Street Church, by Todd S a ylo l), encouragement paid off when in purchased at the ticket office in Abbie Hoffman and Jerry 1937 Kate Smith, "America’s person, or by mail (Miller Audi­ Rubin will participate in the Summer heat makes work a little harder Sweetheart,” heard him and torium, Western Michigan Uni­ debate, "Yuppie vs Yippie booked him on her radio show. versity, Kalamazoo, 49008), or Jhe Challenge of the l9S0's Archie Mackintosh works through the late summer heat, mixing Youngman was booked for two by calling 383-0933 or vs the Idealism of the 1960 s ” cement for drainage pipe repairs on the GVSC campus. "Laying years on the show and was 1-800-344-5469 toll free Tickets are on sale now for cement is really tough, especially in this heat,” says Mackintosh. forced to hire writers to come between the hours of 10:00 a.m. $10. They can be bought at up with new material. He em­ •and 6:00 p.m. weekdays. any Ticket Master outlet.

The freshmen are looking younger every year _____ STOP WORRYING. YOUR COLLEGE MONEY IS AT 1-800-732-6356.

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