Congregation Beth Shalom B’nai Guide 5778 February 2016

6800 35th Ave NE מזל טוב! !Seattle. WA 98115 Mazal Tov v: (206) 524-0075 f: (206) 595-5095 THE TIME OF a child's celebrating bat Prozdor Program. In this becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is packet you will find explana- Contents: one of the most meaningful tions of these program compo- experiences in a family's Jewish nents, along with associated Prerequisites 2 life. costs and guidance for differ- ent questions in celebrating Tutoring Info 2 THE BETH SHALOM COMMUNITY has this simcha. structured our Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation to engage IN ORDER TO PROCEED with a Bar Honors 3 and teens in a spirited, mean- or Bat Mitzvah, your child must ingful learning environment. To be in good educational stand- that end, there are several crit- ing and your household must Expectations 3 ical elements of our program in be current on all which your child will participate financial responsibilities, in- in preparation toward becoming cluding membership dues, Financial 4 a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. In addition sustaining fund or other finan- to continuing his or her learning cial obligations, Religious and we thank you in advance Celebration 5 at Religious School or a day School and/or Prozdor tuition, for honoring it. Standards school, your child will attend and Bar/Bat Mitzvah fees. All Prozdor, receive one-on-one financial questions should be WE LOOK FORWARD to taking tutoring, supervised by our directed to our Executive Di- this journey with you. Green 5 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Coordinator, rector, Carol Benedick. This Please do not hesitate to ask and work directly with requirement safeguards the questions and request our Borodin and Rubin. As a family, sustainability of our program Guests 6 help as you prepare for this you will participate in the Shab- exciting milestone. Honoring your 6 Child The B’nai Mitzvah Coordinating Team Deadlines 7 It takes a team to help plan Marci Greenberg, Heidi Piel, Meetings 7 your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah. B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator ’s Assistant & will work with you in all as- Rabbi Borodin will meet indi- Life Cycle Coordinator will vidually with each student and pects of b’nai mitzvah prepa- work with you on planning 8 ration, including setting up a their family. She will answer your Kiddush, finalizing your tutor, regularly checking pro- questions and begin exploring honors and many other event gress and running the re- 6th Grade 8 the many ways to create last- logistics. She also keeps Rab- hearsals. . ing meaning and deepen syna- bi Borodin’s calendar. Please FAQs 9 gogue connections through contact her to make or change any appointments with a the B’nai Mitzvah Process. A trained tutor (either an D’var 10 or teen) will coach rabbi. your child in trop, the bless- Letter Rabbi Rubin will have an ings, and leading services. initial meeting with students Meaningful 10 and their families and then Bar/Bat Mitzvah continue assisting your child on writing his or her D’var Contacting Us 11 Torah.

Educational Prerequisites

Students are expected to be en- delaying the Bar or Bat Mitzvah cele- dents are expected to honor their com- rolled in an approved Jewish edu- bration. mitment to completing the Prozdor cational program from 3rd through program on Saturdays. th 8 Grade. RELIGIOUS SCHOOL STUDENTS FORMER DAY SCHOOL STUDENTS Sixth and Seventh Grade Religious Sixth Grade Religious School Require- ment To celebrate a Bar or Bat Mitzvah School Requirement under the auspices of the synagogue, Incoming sixth graders who completed Sixth & Seventh grade Religious a child is expected to be enrolled in 5th grade at a day school and enrolled School students are required to at- the CBS Religious School or a Jewish in a public or independent secular tend classes at Beth Shalom on Sat- day school by the third grade and school for 6th grade have the same urdays and Tuesdays. Additionally, maintain enrollment in one of these educational obligations as Religious approximately one year prior to your programs through the eighth grade. School students. Our hope is our students will also be child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah, he/she will begin individual skill tutoring, fo- involved in through Former day school students are re- cusing on their chosen service for- high school, and that they will join quired to attend Saturday and Tues- mat and assigned Torah and Hafta- our new Jewish high school program, day sixth-grade classes. rah readings. the Livnot project.

CONTINUING DAY SCHOOL STUDENTS Congregation Beth Shalom recognizes Eighth Grade Prozdor Commitment In the sixth, seventh and eighth that individual children may have spe- During the eighth grade year, stu- cial needs, which necessitate develop- grades, day school students are re- ing a special program of study. All quired to attend the Prozdor Middle alternative arrangements need to be School program on Saturday Morn- worked out in advance with the Edu- ings. cation and Youth Director. In some Bar/Bat Mitzvah Refusal to continue af- cases educational delays and inability tutoring ter Bar/Bat Mitzvah is grounds for not to fulfill requirements may require is NOT a replacement scheduling a communal Bar/Bat Mitz- for participation in any vah celebration at Beth Shalom. Religious School class It is recommended that each and should not be family purchase the Etz Hayim: scheduled during Involvement of Torah and Commentary pub- Religious School or Younger Siblings lished by the Jewish Publication Prozdor hours. Younger siblings, upon mastering Society. the skill, are welcome to lead Ein Keloheinu, Ashrei, and/or read To- rah. To join the Ashrei Club or the Information about Tutoring Young Readers Club, please con- tact Rabbi Borodin or Marci Green- berg to become a “certified” club At your first meeting with the B’nai although we have found that most stu- member. Mitzvah Coordinator, your child’s He- dents need about 25-35 one-hour ses- brew level will be assessed, goals for sions to learn the set of skills needed training will be determined and a list of for the service. several tutors will be provided. Most of the tutors are 9th through 12th graders Tutoring costs vary depending on who have been trained in our peer tutor whether you use a teen or adult tutor. program. The B’nai Mitzvah Coordina- tor will also have names of adult tutors Teen tutors submit a timesheet to the if you want a trained adult. office for payroll. The tutor will ask you to sign the timesheet. The hours sub- You may interview tutors and choose mitted by the tutor are covered by the the tutor that best suits your child’s B’nai Mitzvah program fee. Adult tutors schedule and needs. Please schedule are paid directly by the family at the an initial meeting and establish a regu- rate you negotiate. The B’nai Mitzvah lar weekly schedule with your tutor fee is discounted when an adult tutor is right away (tutoring must begin no later used. Teen tutors are supervised by our than 8 months before the service, oth- erwise the service will be rescheduled). B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator. The duration of tutoring varies,

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General Expectations: All Congregation Beth Shalom b’nai mitzvah services take place on and in the CBS sanctuary

 Participation in Shabbat Pro- expected by both students and  Families host a zdor. Students and their par- parents during the 6th & 7th grade (festive meal) for the congrega- ents study t’filla and trope from year. Minimum service attend- tion immediately following the 9:30—12:30 which includes ance is 18 Shabbat mornings. If ceremony at the synagogue. supporting classmates as they the student plans to lead Kabba-  All private parties should be become bar or bat mitzvah. lat Shabbat services, he or she is Shabbat friendly and kosher (or  Every B’nai Mitzvah student also expected to attend Kabbalat vegetarian). Ask the rabbi’s assis- participates in a weekday minyan Shabbat services a minimum of tant for a list of Beth Shalom ap- where he/she leads part of the 10 times. More attendance is al- proved caterers. service and performs the Mitzvot ways encouraged.  Continued participation in Jewish of and as a Jewish  Students are expected to reflect education in Prozdor through the adult. This is usually the Thursday on the services they attend, using end of 8th grade at Beth Shalom morning before being called to the form “Reflections on Shabbat and through the Livnot Chai Pro- the Torah on Shabbat. Services.” They will periodically ject.  Every B’nai Mitzvah child is ex- review this log with the Religious  Learning with a Bar/Bat Mitzvah pected to have a personal Gemu- Practices Committee Representa- tutor. tive. lit Hasadim Tovim project and  Participate in regular Group and Families are expected to extend a make a personally significant do-  Individual meetings with the Rab- Bar/Bat Mitzvah invitation to ALL nation to tzedakah. bis and B'nai Mitzvah Coordinator.  Regular Shabbat attendance is Prozdor classmates in their grade.

Distributing Honors, Assigning Torah Readers

We are delighted to honor readings, Hagbah, Gelilah, Shacharit and Musaf are A skilled Torah read- your guests during the ser- Ashrei, and Ein Keloheinu. reserved for a member of er is defined by the vice. You will discuss the se- the CBS Shatz rotation CBS Religious Prac- Assigning Torah Readers & lection of honors with the (unless led by the Bar/Bat tices Committee as Service Leaders at a Shabbat B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator at Mitzvah or by special permis- someone who: Morning Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ser- the 5-month check in. The sion of the rabbi). vice: Reads Hebrew clearly B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator and correctly, and un- has an honors form for you Beth Shalom's services are Extending Honors to Non- derstands what is being to complete and return to led by lay volunteers who Jewish Family or Friends: read. Heidi in the office one month participate on a rotating ba- Non- may be invited to prior to the ceremony. Below sis. Because the celebration read a prayer for the country Does not rely on a tape is a summary of honors of B’nai Mitzvah ceremonies or a prayer for peace in Eng- available: is an integral part of our reg- to memorize the read- lish from the Bimah. Please ing, but rather knows ular communal worship, sev- Shabbat Morning: arrange this honor with the how to chant the cantil- eral members of the congre- rabbi in your meetings with lation notes and can Aliyot assignments: gation not connected to the family will have roles in the read them without error Maftir (usually for the Bar/ service. Any service or read- from the Torah Scroll. Bat Mitzvah), Cohen, , ings not done by the Bar/Bat and three Yisrael aliyot. Two Mitzvah are assigned to our A leyner should con- Yisrael aliyot are always left volunteers. duct him/herself in such to be assigned to worship- a way to honor the To- pers from the congregation. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family rah and the congrega- If it is easier, any honors can may invite skilled family tion. This includes wear- be assigned by the office. members and friends to read ing modest clothing, Torah in place of lay volun- Service leading honors: and tallit when teers with sufficient notice. Torah readings. reading from the Torah. The names of proposed Torah Other honors: Opening and readers should be submitted Closing the Ark, Congrega- to the B’nai Mitzvah Coordi- tion or Hebrew communal nator four months from the bar/bat Mitzvah. Otherwise, volunteer leyners will stand as assigned.

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Paying for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Your fee will be adjusted after your sim- The Beth Shalom Board of Directors has a strict pre- cha. payment policy for all events at Beth Shalom. All events require a 50% deposit to hold the date and What would cause me to spend more the remaining 50% must be paid 60 days prior to the than average? event. Events not meeting deadlines are subject to  Using an adult tutor cancellation— even if the invitations have already gone out! This is not something we ever want to  Tutoring exceeding 35 hours have happen, please, speak to us about any potential  Cancelling tutoring session without 24 hours notice problems far in advance.  Using extra tablecloths or colored cloths  Having over 250 family, friends and congregation How much does it cost? members in attendance We have developed an average, aggregate fee that covers most B’nai Mitzvah expenses. This fee is If you have any questions about whether or not some- $1,500. thing is included, please do not hesitate to call the Lifecycle Coordinator. What Payment Plans does Beth Shalom offer? Beth Shalom offers you a choice of 3 payment plans: Also, keep in mind that Beth Shalom never discriminates 1) pay the entire deposit at the one year meeting, against families for true inability to pay; scholarships are prior to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah date, always available to guarantee equal access to all chil- 2) pay $137 per month for the 11 months leading up dren. Scholarships must be arranged upon securing to the event, so that the full deposit is paid 30 your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah date by contacting the Ex- days prior to the event, ecutive Director or Rabbi Borodin. 3) pay 50% at the one year meeting and the addi- tional 50% 60 days prior to the event. What is covered in the basic Kiddush costs?  Logistics planning with the family How will it appear on my Beth Shalom account?  Tea and coffee service Your pre-paid deposit will sit on your account and  Use of the Social Hall appear as a pre-payment. All fees are entered as  Up to 8 hours of kitchen time they accrue and will sit on your account – do not be  Rental of 20 white table cloths for the most often surprised if you see charges and credits. Once the used Kiddush set up event is complete, we will apply your payments to the actual charges to see your account status.  Compostable plates, napkins, cups and flatware

My child missed a tutoring session, what happens? In order to guarantee your child’s date, a deposit and Tutors will be paid for all scheduled lessons not cancelled pre-payment plan are required. at least 24 hours in advance. In the case where the cost

What does the fee cover? of tutoring is covered by the Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund, the family will pay the cost of missed sessions out of  B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator’s time pocket.  Administrative support for the B’nai Mitzvah Process I am behind on dues and other synagogue finan-  6th Grade Family T’fillah and Trope cial obligations. Will this impact my child's ability  Up to 35 hours of peer teen tutoring to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah  Rehearsals Unfortunately, yes. Members must be up to date on their  Basic Kiddush costs obligations to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Please call the  Copy of Sim Shalom for the student synagogue bookkeeper, Emma Shusterman, to develop a payment plan, (206) 524-0075. What is not included?  Adult tutors (If you are using an adult tutor, please contact the Lifecycle Coordinator)  Overages for tutoring (over 35 hours)  Food or catering costs  Private parties  Flowers and decorations  Thursday morning Seudah  Other costs incurred by the synagogue for your child's preparation.

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Standards for Meals and Private Celebrations

Seudat Mitzvah: The Kiddush name of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the He- bat. Our staff Following Shabbat morning services brew date, and a verse from Scrip- can help you in honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the ture. Benchers can be ordered plan an appro- family hosts a Seudat Mitzvah, a fes- through the USCJ Book service. priate celebra- tive meal, at the synagogue for the tion which Private Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parties congregation and their guests. The honors Jewish and Respect for Shabbat and meal is concluded with Birkat Hama- practice and zon led by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This standards. Please consider the following recom- meal can be prepared by one of our mendations when planning your pri- approved caterers or by the family in Respect for vate party: the Shul kitchen after going through Shabbat the Beth Shalom kitchen and kashrut Considerations in Scheduling the Please remind orientation. Speak with the Lifecycle Private Party guests and Coordinator for more details. Please plan the private party after caterers of Kiddush arrangements need to be Shabbat, on Sunday during the spring Shabbat practices and restrictions. finalized with the Lifecycle Coordina- and summer months, or in a manner Concerning deliveries and removals, tor at least one month before the Bar/ that is Shabbat friendly, such as a all foods, flowers and other supplies Bat Mitzvah date. Friday night dinner or Saturday even- must be delivered no later than ing in the synagogue that would in- 2:00PM on Friday. No deliveries of In some cases, the Seudat mitzvah clude (third Shabbat any kind can occur on Shabbat and may present a financial hardship. In meal) and Havdallah. You can follow nothing other than food can be re- such cases, we urge parents to speak this with the non-Shabbat oriented moved before the end of Shabbat. to the Rabbi or the Executive Director part of the party after Shabbat has All other items cannot be removed who will help the family to celebrate concluded. until after Shabbat concludes. The their simcha with dignity and joy. kitchen closes on Fridays at Making Your Private Party Kosher 2:00PM—all cooking must be com- Optional: Kippot & Benchers Celebrating the Bar/Bat Mitzvah with pleted by that time. There is no It is a custom in Jewish communities a kosher or vegetarian meal makes cooking on Shabbat. A list of Beth for families to enhance the holiness the celebration a statement that it is Shalom Shabbat practices is availa- and joy of the Seudah and other cele- more than just a party— it is a cele- ble for you to give to your guests. bratory feasts with purchase of per- bration of our Jewish tradition. sonalized kippot or benchers. Kippot Respecting the Religious can be personalized with your child’s name imprinted in English and He- Observance of Other Members brew, along with the Hebrew date. Keep in mind that, in our Beth Sha- These make a wonderful keepsake for lom community, there is a broad guests. spectrum of observance. We ask our less observant members to respect Volunteer and help Families keep multiple copies of the the observance of our more tradition- strengthen your benchers for their home celebrations al members and create celebrations and give them to guests as a remind- comfortable for the whole community. family’s experience er of the simcha. The covers of the We urge everyone to plan a kosher or benchers can be embossed with the vegetarian party that respects Shab- We’d love to have parents step forward to a few social “Greening” Your Shabbat Kiddush opportunities for students and parents to ac- quainted in 5th & 6th We recognize the events at Beth Sha- supplies—i.e., grade. lom have a direct impact on the local plates, cups, uten- and regional environment. We are sils, etc.—and pro- committed to reducing waste and vide them for your We are urging 6th Grade making our events eco-friendly. use making the families to do a group event zero-waste. Gemilut Hasidim Tovim YOU CAN DO YOUR PART! To make your Please encourage project and a volunteer kiddush eco-friendly please speak your caterer to make this event project to benefit CBS, with the rabbi’s assistant. We are “green”. happy to work with you and your ca- terer to create a zero-waste event. Beth Shalom will furnish compostable

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Helpful Information for Guests & Non-Shabbat Regulars

Our services are participa- when many guests join us Ask the Ushers for copies. Multiple Simchot — tory and joyful, and we in- for simchas. Sharing your Bar/Bat All materials intended for vite guests to take part in Mitzvah Please inform your guests, guests such as kippot and this spirit. Prayer in the particularly those who are programs, must be brought In honor of your child’s be- synagogue is a holy experi- unfamiliar with the Hebrew to the synagogue by Friday coming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, ence. Respect for the syna- service, that while our at 2:00PM. the child, family, and gogue and our worship ser- doors open at 9:30 am, it friends have important roles vice is expected from all Guests with young children is also permissible to come in leading the service or who enter Beth Shalom. need to be informed that later. We recommend they receiving an . At the Therefore, we request that they are responsible for arrive by 10:15am to be same time, other members guests be informed about, their children during ser- present for the Torah ser- of the congregation may and respectful of, the wor- vices. Babysitting is availa- vice. Please let the Lifecy- also celebrate a simcha ship traditions and practic- ble for our members on cle Coordinator know how (joyous occasion) such as a es in addition to the Shab- Shabbat morning from many guests you expect at baby naming, Aufruf, or bat observance of our con- 10:15am-12:15pm. Please least 2 weeks in advance significant anniversary. gregation. let us know if you expect to to enable us to plan to set have children requiring On Shabbat morning two In respect for Shabbat, we up enough chairs and have babysitting, and we will hire Yisrael aliyot are always kindly ask that cell-phones, appropriate custodial cov- additional sitters at your reserved for the congrega- cameras, and other elec- erage. expense. Beth Shalom also tion. If there is another tronic devices and writing Please remind your guests offers weekly Shabbat pro- simcha to take place on the implements not be used in that they are part of a reg- gramming for children from Shabbat of your child's Bar/ the building. ular religious service. We 10:45am—12:15pm. Bat Mitzvah, the office will Please be sensitive to the encourage families to in- Choose between FDI for ag- inform you of the simcha as impact that large numbers clude a guide for guests es 3-6 and Kids Kehillah for soon as we know. of guests, unfamiliar with with their invitations that ages 7-11 yrs. traditional Jewish worship will acquaint them with the practices, has on those who traditions and customs of regularly attend our ser- Beth Shalom. The congre- vices. We seek to maintain gation has available a few the highly participatory na- prayer books with translit- ture of our services even eration and explanation.

Ways for Parents to Honor their Child at the Bar or Bat Mitzvah

All parents will give their child a blessing during the service and usually will have an Aliyah to the Torah. The following are additional ways to honor your child at the ceremony:

 Teach Torah —share words of Torah in the form of a brief D'var Torah (3-5 minutes) at the meal or at Friday Night Kabbalat Shabbat service. It is also a lovely tradition to invite family members and friends to deliver Divrei Torah in honor of the child at the private party during the weekend.  Read Torah — Learning to read the Torah is a lovely way to honor your child and to honor the Torah. This is recommended for parents who al- ready know or have the time and Hebraic knowledge to commit to learning the cantillation skills.  Give Tzedakah — Gifts of tzedakah in honor of your child are a very special way to honor this milestone.

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Important Meetings and Deadlines

Individual Meetings and Activities One Year Meeting with B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator Assess Hebrew reading skills & provide Torah and readings Determine what the student will lead Arrange for Tutor Cohort meeting to answer emerging questions and provide timing specific information Group Meetings and Activities Six Month Meeting with Lifecycle Coordinator Discuss Kiddush sponsorship, catering and kitchen use  5th Grade Parent Orientation with Rabbi & If younger siblings are in Ashrei Club or are approved B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator Torah readers, schedule time for them to lead Ashrei or  5th Grade Family social event—dependent read Torah on parent volunteers  6th Grade Family social event — depend- Five Month Meeting with B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator ent on parent volunteers Evaluate progress and revise preparation schedule as  6th Grade Prozdor classes - T’filla and needed Trope Hand out Honors form and discuss honors  6th Grade Gemilut Hasadim Tovim pro- Let B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator know the names of guest ject—dependent on parents Torah readers  6th Grade group CBS volunteer project — Four Month Meetings with our Rabbis dependent on parents Rabbi Rubin: Read Parsha in advance of meeting and bring 3-4 questions to begin writing the D'var Torah Rabbi Borodin: Family meets to explore ways to deepen understanding and increase meaning of the process and service Family will meet with Rabbi Borodin again at the one month marker

Let Lifecycle Coordinator know who your caterer is or whether you plan to self cater. Call office to reserve kitchen time for you or your caterer

Two Month Meeting with the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator Last evaluation of skills Answer questions about ceremony, rehearsals, etc. Set dates for rehearsals

One to Two Months Prior Submit announcement with photographs to office (by the 10th of the previous month) Let Lifecycle Coordinator know how many guests to expect

One Month Prior—Final Family Meeting Meet with Rabbi Rubin to finalize D’var Torah Submit final D’var Torah Meet with Rabbi Borodin to share insights for charge Don’t forget Family shares written reflections with each other to have a Submit honors distribution sheet great picture

One-Three Weeks Prior to Two rehearsals with the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator accompany your Ruach Thursday morning prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah, 7:00AM Attend morning minyan with Tallit and Tefillin article Have an Aliyah and deliver the D’var Torah Host a light breakfast after the minyan, typically coffee and bagels

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Tzedakah and the B’nai Mitzvah Celebration

It is a Jewish tradition to give tzed- of Mazon. Families might consider and tzedakah education. You can akah in honor of the milestone of a donating 3% of their catering contact them at 12300 Carroll Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Here are some of costs to Mazon or make an out- Ave, Upper Level, Rockville, MD our favorite organizations to support: right contribution. Please contact 20852; (301) 335-6278; their office at 12401 Wilshire www.mitzvahheroesfund.org.  A Contribution to the Campership Blvd., Suite 303; Los Angeles, CA or Youth Funds of Congregation 90025-1015;  We also encourage you to do a Beth Shalom. Each year Beth  310-442-0020; project of Gemilut-Hasadim To- Shalom provides scholarships for Email: [email protected]. vim, act of loving kindness, in students to attend Camp Solomon honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The Schechter, or other  The Masorti Foundation for Con- rabbi is happy to help you explore Jewish camps during the summer servative in Israel is the possible projects. and to attend regional and na- best way to support efforts to tional USY and events bring about the advancement of during the year. Contributions to our movement and the spread of either of these funds provide fi- religious pluralism in Israel and nancial resources to meet real offers a special program to allow needs of our students each year. for the training and celebration of special needs Israeli youth for a  Jewish Family Service: Beth Sha- Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Contact Masorti lom is a strong supporter of - for a longer list of potential tzed- ish Family Service in Seattle. JFS akah and volunteer opportunities. provides various means for B’nai Contributions should be sent to Mitzvah families to support the 475 Riverside Drive, Suite 832; invaluable social services it pro- New York, NY 10115-0122; (212) vides to Jews in need in our com- 870-2216 or 1-877-287-7414; munity. Please contact the food Email [email protected]; web- basket project coordinator at JFS site: www.masorti.org. at 206-461-3240 to learn how your gift of tzedakah can help  American Jewish World Service - feed the poor. a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing nonsectarian human-  Mazon - the Jewish Response to itarian assistance and emergency Hunger - offers grants to nonprof- relief to people in the developing it organizations working to ease world. Website: www.ajws.org the suffering of hungry people in the United States, Israel, and  The Mitzvah Heroes Fund, Inc. around the globe. Beth Shalom is administers efficient and direct a long time and strong supporter tzedakah to further philanthropy

Shabbat Prozdor Program

Shabbat Prozdor is a special teaching and participatory class for Shabbat Prozdor is designed for families with children preparing for all 6th grade pre-B’nai Mitzvah stu- at Beth Sha- dents (both day school and reli- lom. Families will study T’filla and gious school) and their trope together. Focus is also placed parents, and is a prerequisite for on building community. Our hope having a Bar or Bat Mitzvah cere- is that all participants will become mony at Beth Shalom. more comfortable and knowledgea- Shabbat Prozdor offers students ble about the unique approach to and their parents a unique oppor- worship at Beth Shalom and will tunity to learn from a variety of form closer relationships with other different scholars and educators families whose children are prepar- including, Rabbi Borodin, Rabbi Ru- ing for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah cele- bin, Marci Greenberg, Rabbi Lauren bration. Kurland and more.

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~ Frequently Asked Questions ~

My child has a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Who will coach my child on their should be submitted to the Lifecycle date set. What now? The syna- D'var Torah? Each student will write Coordinator at least two weeks prior gogue B'nai Mitzvah Coordinator, and present a 5 minute D'var Torah. to your event. Marci Greenberg, is here to help Rabbi Rubin will meet with the Bar/Bat you navigate the steps toward suc- Mitzvah family approximately 4 months Whom and when do I call to plan cessful training and the upcoming prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah to work on the kiddush? We recommend you B'nai Mitzvah. Marci will contact you the D'var Torah. Some families also opt begin planning the kiddush at least to set up 1 year, 5 and 2 month to hire a Jewish educator or work with a six months prior to the event. All meetings, as well as rehearsals. family friend on the D’var Torah. planning for the kiddush must be completed at least one month prior Whom do I call to change the Who will be the Shatz (service lead- to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, with the date? Call the Lifecycle Coordinator er)? The Torah Leyner (reader)? Lifecycle Coordinator. in the office at (206) 524-0075. The synagogue has a regular Shatz ro- tation, organized by volunteer, Linda-Jo Which dates are Generally not Is there someone in the Beth Greenberg. It also has a regular Torah available for B’nai Mitzvah? Shab- Shalom office whom I can call Leyning rotation, organized by Alison bat Hazon (Shabbat prior to Tisha with all B'nai Mitzvah related Sands. These trained members will B'Av), , Shabbat Shu- questions? Yes, both the Lifecycle serve as Shatzim and Torah Leyner(s) vah, , , Shemini Coordinator and the B’nai Mitzvah on your Bar/Bat Mitzvah Day. For the Atzeret, Pesach, , Shabbat Coordinator are happy to answer Shatz and Leyning schedule, please call Shirah, Shabbat which is followed any questions you have or point the office at 206-524-0075. For other immediately by . Children you in the right direction. They questions please contact Marci whose Bar or Bat Mitzvah dates fall work closely with Rabbi Borodin and Greenberg at (206) 914-1229. Special on these occasions are moved to the all service coordinators. requests for shatzim need to be made 4 next available Shabbat. months in advance to Linda-Jo I missed the group meeting. Greenberg at [email protected]. What happens if the Rabbis are How do I get the information? away? The rabbis considers their Call the Lifecycle Coordinator at I have a skilled friend/family mem- participation in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (206) 524-0075. ber who I'd like to read Torah. Is of primary importance. However, the this ok? The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family rabbis have conferences, vacations, How do we get a tutor? Talk to may invite skilled family members and and camp duty during the year which Marci Greenberg. She will recom- friends to serve as Torah readers. Their involve being away. They will try to mend an appropriate match. Marci names should be submitted to the B'nai inform affected families of these can be reached at (206) 914-1229 Mitzvah Coordinator, Marci Greenberg, dates as soon as possible to enable or [email protected] no later than five months prior to the you to consider the option of re- event. scheduling at a time when Rabbi - Who will be the Gabbai Rishon rodin and/or Rabbi Rubin can be pre- and what does that person do? What will the Bar/Bat Mitzvah be sent. The Gabbai Rishon maintains the able to do during services? We en- integrity of the , calls courage our students to learn as much people to the bimah for aliyot and as possible in coordination with their says the Mi She'berakh. Beth Sha- tutors and the B'nai Mitzvah Coordina- lom has a Gabbai Rishon rotation, tor. Bar/Bat Mitzvah students begin which is organized by volunteer, with learning the Haftarah, Torah Read- Nance Adler. Should you have ques- ing, Kiddush and Torah Service. After tions regarding the Gabbai Rishon, mastering these skills, we welcome call the Lifecycle Coordinator. them to learn Shacharit (including P'sukei D'zimra), Kabbalat Shabbat and What if I want someone other Musaf (after having already mastered than the Rabbi to give the Shacharit). charge? Rabbi Borodin looks for- ward to speaking to your children Whom should I contact regarding personally during the charge from honors for our family and friends? the bimah. Please arrange with her What are they? Beth Shalom will pro- individually if you want to make vide your family with an honors form alternative arrangements for anoth- for you to fill out and return to the of- er approved Jewish educator or rab- fice. The selection of honors is dis- bi to deliver the charge. cussed at the five month meeting with Marci. The completed Honors Form

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Guidelines for Writing a D’var Torah

We anticipate that all of our B’nai this meeting, Rabbi Rubin will re- introduction to the Torah or haftarah Mitzvah students will write and deliver search different rabbinic insights to before they are read on Shabbat a D’var Torah. The d’var Torah is de- support the student’s questions. morning. livered after the Torah service and Most of this material is written for should be approximately five minutes adult readers. We recommend our Suggested d’var Torah Outline: in length. Its purpose is to teach To- teenagers read through the material 1) Introduction to the subject and rah. Most commonly it is on the week- and prepare their d’var Torah in question to be explored ly Torah portion, but it may also be on partnership with an adult. For some 2) Sharing of 1-3 Rabbinic Com- the haftarah, an upcoming holiday, a families it works well for the helping mentaries on the subject specific prayer or a theological ques- adult to be a parent; for other fami- 3) Own Personal Insights and an- tion. The d’var Torah should introduce lies it works well to have a relative, swers to the question being the community to some rabbinic friend or a tutor help prepare their explored teaching on the subject as well as the d’var Torah. Rabbi Rubin is happy to 4) What does this mean for you student’s own insights on this topic. spend additional time helping fami- and/or our lives today? lies with this process. He is also able To help students navigate writing a to provide you with names of com- D’var Torah, prior to the four month munity members who enjoy working meeting with Rabbi Rubin, students with students on their divrei Torah. should have read their Torah and haf- All divrei Torah need to be approved tarah portions and come with a list of by the Rabbi at least three weeks questions and subjects from their To- before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. For stu- rah and haftarah portions which inter- dents who are not prepared for a full est them and about which they might d’var Torah, there is also the possi- want to write a d’var Torah. Following bility of them giving a 2-3 minute

Suggestions on How to Make the Bar/Bat Mitzvah as Meaningful and Enjoyable as Possible

1) Be a Shabbat regular—it’s never too late to become a regular. Students and parents who come regularly are usually better prepared, more comfortable and more motivated. Have your child be with you in the sanctuary, following the service with an open siddur. 2) Get to know the other families. Think of ways to increase the cohesiveness of your cohort, both par- ents and students. Be the first to reach out! 3) Create a standard routine for practicing. Have a regular place and time. Be a positive parent.

4) Communicate regularly with tutors, B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator, Educational & Youth Director as well as Rabbi Rabbi Borodin and Rabbi Rubin about how the process is going. Tell us about snags before they become problems so we can help. 5) Read the with your child and engage with the text, asking questions is learn- ing. (There are great resources for families to study). 6) Increase exposure and involvement in the synagogue and different mitzvot, (i.e. attend a weekday Minyan and Kabbalat Shabbat, join teen feed or help the Shabbos Chefs). ! We look forward to celebrating this important milestone with you

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How to reach us, who to ask!

Marci Greenberg: B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator Emma Shusterman: CBS Bookkeeper (206) 914-1229 (206) 524-0075 x2505 [email protected] [email protected]

Heidi Piel: Rabbi’s Assistant & Lifecycle Carol Benedick: Executive Director Coordinator (206) 524-0075 x2502 (206) 524-0075 x2508 [email protected] [email protected] Rachel Wachtel: Education & Youth Director Rabbi Jill Borodin 206-524-0075 x2503 (206) 524-0075 x2501 [email protected] [email protected]

Rabbi Adam Rubin (206) 524-0075 x2518 [email protected]

Congregation Beth Shalom is a participatory egalitarian congregation affiliated with the United Synagogue for . We provide a warm gathering place and a caring community for our members where we come together to nourish our spirituality through worship, to increase our understanding through study, to educate our young and to better our world through acts of loving kindness.

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L’dor Vador by Josh Nelson

We are gifts and we are blessings, we are history in song We are hopes and we are healing, we are learning to be strong We are words and we are stories, we are pictures of the past We are carriers of wisdom, not the first and not the last

לְְדוֹרְוָדוֹרְנַגִּידְגָּדְ לֶָֽךְ

(From generation to generation, we will tell of Your greatness) L’dor vador…we protect this chain From generation to generation L’dor vador, these lips shall praise Your name

Looking back on the journey that we carry in our heart From the shadow of the mountain to the waters that would part We are blessed and we are holy, we are children of Your way And the words that bring us meaning, we will have the strength to say...

לְְדוֹרְוָדוֹרְנַגִּידְגָּדְ לֶָֽךְ

(From generation to generation, we will tell of Your greatness) L’dor vador…we protect this chain From generation to generation L’dor vador, these lips shall praise Your name