HARDWICK HAPPENINGS

NOVEMBER 2016

1

Brownies: Lucy Gardner [email protected] 01954 211107

Cambridgeshire County Council: www..gov.uk 01223 717111

Community Association: Anne Jones [email protected] 01954 211417

Community Car Scheme: Marian Gibbens 01954 211709 Hazel Swindells 01954 212998 Lizzie Coe 01954 211838 Gill Stott 01954 210952

Community Primary School: Headteacher: Ruth French [email protected] 01954 210070 Caretaker: Alison Berkeley [email protected] 01954 211591

County Councillor: Stephen Frost [email protected] 01954 211444

Cricket Club : Chris Fuller [email protected] 01954 211226

Doctors’ Surgeries: Surgery/Dispensary 58 Green End, Comberton 01223 262500/262399 Bourn Surgery 25 Alms Hill, Bourn 01954 719313 Surgery/Dispensary 58 Green End, 01223 262500/262399 Child & Family Nurses: 01954 282830

District Councillor: Grenville Chamberlain [email protected] 01954 210040

Dragon Fencing Club: Alan West [email protected] 01954 712764

Evangelical Church: [email protected] Co-Ministers: Steve & Kate Gaze 01954 211900/212556 Secretary: Enid Instone-Brewer 01954 210009

Football Club: Steve Chamberlain [email protected] 07834 525856

General: Community Education Office: 01223 264721 Ashcroft veterinary surgery: 169 St Neots Rd 01954 210250 Water Co (supply): 01223 403000 Anglian water (sewerage): 08457 145145 Eastern electricity: 0800 7 838 838 Gas Emergency: 0800 111 999

Guides: Janet Hayman [email protected]

Hardwick Happenings: Ed Peter Cornwell Howard Baker [email protected]

Hardwick Facebook admin Nicola Ellender [email protected] 01954 211 421

2

Member of Parliament: Heidi Allen [email protected] 01954 211044

Mother and Toddler: [email protected] [email protected]

Netball Club: Alison Beresford [email protected]

Parish Council: [email protected] Chair: Steve Rose [email protected] 01954 211257 Vice Chairman: Tony Gill [email protected] 01954 211108 Tejinder Bhachu [email protected] 01954 212313 Chris Cracknell [email protected] 01954 211055 Jane Humphries [email protected] 01954 211822 Pauline Joslin [email protected] 01954 212395 Barry Skingle [email protected] 01954 212355 Jim Stewart [email protected] 01954 212410 Roger Worland [email protected] 01954 211218 Parish Clerk: Gail Stoehr [email protected] 01954 210241

Pre School: Sharon Griffiths [email protected] 01954 212823

PTA Nicola Ellender [email protected]

Rainbows: Alice Tinkler hardwick.rainbows@hotmail. com 01954 488624

St. Mary’s Parish Church: Priest in charge: Revd Alison Myers [email protected] 01954 212815 Churchwardens : Thelma Westbury [email protected] 01954 210321 and Chris Ford [email protected] 01954 211841 Treasurer: Clare Bigg [email protected] 01954 211673 PCC Secretary: Michaela McNeill [email protected]

Scouts: Jane Humphries [email protected] 01954 211822

South Cambridgeshire District Council: wwwscambs.gov.uk Road repair: 03450 455212 Street light failure: 0 800 253529

Sports and Social Club: www.hardwicksportsandsocialclub.co.uk Secretary: Jane Ward [email protected] 01954 210110 Pavilion Bookings Contact Jane for hire forms and terms Club Manager Jerry Burford

Three fifteen club: Sharon Turner [email protected] 07787910490

Webmaster Robert Cassey [email protected]

WI: Anne Jones [email protected] 01954 211417

3

Hardwick Happenings NOVEMBER 2016 Issue number 329

Printed by Victoire Press for the Parish Council and the people of Hardwick affiliated to The Community Association

The Hardwick Happenings Team

Editors: Peter Cornwell and Howard Baker Cover photo: Guy Fawkes by George Cruickshank 1840 Distribution: Marian Gibbens Village content: Yvonne Sawyer Village calendar: Anne Jones Treasurer: Jeff Jones Technical adviser: Robert Cassey Proof reader: Sue Cornwell

CAR SCHEME EMERGENCY NUMBERS

Marian Gibbens 01954 211709 Hazel Swindells 01954 212998 Lizzie Coe 01954 211838 Gill Stott 01954 210952 [email protected]

4

CONTENTS

An evening with David Palmer 9 Article from the Junior Editors 48 Circle housing 12 CVC charity walk 21 Cambs Alliance for Independent Living 21 Comberton library 47 Evangelical chuch 7 From Pcso John Coppard 36 Gunpowder, treason and plot 26 Hardwick village plan 37 Litter picking vacancy 10 Local walks NO 5 58 My music 48 News from Heidi Allen 16 November in your garden 38 Police contact point 36 Parish Council report for September 50 Rainbows 34 Restaurant review 40 St Mary‟s 30 Thank you from two Clares 20 Three fruit marmalade 28 TV review 63 Village calendar 32 Voluntary litter picking 42 WI 23 What does hospitality look like? 29

5

EDITORIAL „Being concerned about others and major issues in our world is something that we want for all young people we educate.‟ Stephen Munday

The picture on the front cover is, of course, of Guy Fawkes and with his usual skill, Howard Baker not only weaves the story beautifully (P26), but also manages to include in his article, Margaret Thatcher, George Bush, and Southampton Football Club. It was quite a shock when the Circle Housing press release landed in the in-tray. All the recent talk has been of Grace Crescent and the site opposite the shop. The so –called „Hall Drive development‟ seemed to have faded away. The press release and map are on pages twelve and thirteen. The Village plan committee (P 37) give us fair warning of a survey which we must all try to fill in about the future of the village. Hats off to Heidi, whether you voted for her or not, the article on page sixteen is a superb answer to the question asking what MPs do all through the long recess. Great, too, to read of her support for our „wonderful NHS‟. Who can fail to be impressed by her Summer workload in seeking out first hand experience: shadowing GPs, following Junior doctors, visiting „the Sanctuary‟ and the Women‟s refuge etc Page 48 sees the emergence of our two new Junior Editors and what a start they have made! What a bril- liant article about harvest festival at school! I could imagine every bit of it and was delighted that it fits so well with Stephen Munday‟s quote at the top of the page. The quote actu- ally relates to the charity walk held at CVC (P21) Both give positive messages about good things which are going on in our schools. Peter

6

7

8

An Evening with... David Palmer (Antiques Expert/Auctioneer/TV personality from ‘Flog It’, ‘Cash in the Attic’& ‘Bargain Hunt’)

At Hardwick Community Primary School Friday November 4th at 7.30pm £10 per ticket to include cheese & wine Tickets available from Anne Jones Tel: 01954 211417 Email:[email protected]

Bring an item of interest or an antique along with you 9

HARDWICK PARISH COUNCIL HAS A VACANCY FOR A LITTER PICKER

For 4 hours per week To keep tidy the Parish Council‟s play areas and open spaces in the village of Hardwick Hourly rate between £7.00 and £7.20.

Applications are invited in writing to the Clerk.

Clerk contact details: Mrs Gail Stoehr, Clerk to Hardwick Parish Council, 30 West Drive, Highfields Caldecote, CB23 7NY

01954 210241 [email protected]

10

Over 16 years experience in the Scaffolding trade. Professional workmanship at competitive rates throughout Cambridgeshire and beyond. Free estimates and quotations with no obligation. Whether you require an independent access scaffold, temporary roof systems or something else altogether, we will strive to meet your needs. Highly competitive pricing. We are committed to delivering on-time completion on every project. CISRS registered. We hope you will consider Marlow’s Scaffolding Services for your next project. If you would like to discuss your future scaffolding require- ments or would like a free quotation please do not hesitate to contact Russell Marlow on: Telephone: 07813 185 148 or 01954 212 837

Email:[email protected] Website:www.marlowscaffolding.com

11

Please note that this is an advertising feature taken direct from Circle Housing web page. Ed

Circle Housing secures 18-acre Cambridgeshire site

Around 160 new homes are proposed on the outskirts of Cambridge, a leading housing provider confirmed .

Circle Housing – which owns and manages around 1,000 homes in South Cambridgeshire – has secured the 18-acre site next to the village of Hardwick.

The development will have 94 homes available for private sale and 62 homes for shared ownership and social rent.

Located just off St Neots Road, the site has good transport links thanks to its close proximity to the A428 and Citi4 bus stop which is 25 minutes from Cambridge city centre. The area is popular with commuters as both St Neots and Cambridge stations provide fast links into London King‟s Cross.

Circle Housing has over the last four years worked with Cam- bridgeshire ACRE (Action with Communities in Rural Eng- land), the local authority and Hardwick parish council to iden- tify a suitable site to meet the area‟s housing need. The housing association will submit a planning application later this month. 12

13

We are a friendly group of parents who meet on a drop-in basis: Fridays in school term time1.45pm–3.00pm in the school community room Chat and meet local people in a friendly and relaxed atmosphere, including:

Your first visit is free, then the session cost is £2 to cover costs. Tea, coffee, water, squash and biscuits included! If you have any questions please email hardwick024Baby area • Craft table • Building blocks • Bouncy Castle • Train set, cars, action playsets • Larger ‘Little Tikes’ toys: vehicles, slide, [email protected]

Hardwick Pre-School Committee invites you to our OPEN CAFÉ Saturday 10th December 2-4pm at Hardwick Pre-School (enter through park gate) Teas, Coffees and Cakes Childrens Toys and games Christmas crafts

Prospective parents and children, come for an informal look around and chat to current parents and committee members.

Current and past pupils and families, come and join us for a play and some refreshments. ***Save the date, we look forward to seeing you there!***

14

15

FROM HEIDI ALLEN MP As I write this, I find myself wondering where the Summer went. The six weeks while Parliament is closed, otherwise known as recess, has flown by. Being away from Westminster gives me significantly more time to talk to people in South Cambridgeshire and this Summer, I took the op- portunity to spend time with some of our healthcare providers. Conscious of the pressures on our NHS, I wanted to understand first hand how we are coping with workload locally. The day I spent shadowing GPs at Comberton surgery highlighted to me the challenges facing the profession. The working day for a GP is very long, with limited time available for each patient, but the work they do in keeping patients away from hospitals is absolutely critical. One of the key issues facing junior doctors thinking of a career as a GP is the high cost of indemnity insur- ance, something which is covered for them if they work instead in a hospital. As such, I have written to the Minister to see what we can do to change this situation. We are in dire need of more GPs, so this addi- tional burden is unhelp- ful. I also wanted to see how morale was amongst the wider junior doctor community, so I joined all the trainees at Addenbrooke‟s at one of their team meetings. Our health service in South Cambridgeshire has been lucky to attract such a diverse and thoughtful group of individuals who care passionately about safeguarding our won- derful NHS. Although my powers as a backbencher are limited and I have no influence over decisions made about their new contract, the least I can do is listen. Locally, our County Council and Mental Health Trust is working together to provide innovative solutions to support people in cri- sis. My visit to the newly opened „Sanctuary‟ in Cambridge highlighted the importance of providing mental health patients with a „third space‟, accessible during times of crisis. 16

The centre was welcoming, calm and staffed by an exceptionally dedi- cated team who are determined to improve our local mental health provi- sion. I saw a similar ethos at the Women‟s Refuge Centre in Cambridge and was impressed by the absolutely vital work they are doing for women and children in distress. These two centres provide support for the most vulnerable in our society and deserve our unwavering support. Disability rights also featured highly on my to do list as I made a visit to the new PIP centre in Cambourne to undertake a „mock‟ PIP assessment. This local branch makes a stressful process much easier by saving over an hour‟s journey time for those requiring assessment. Until recently, dis- abled claimants of this benefit (Personal Independence Payment) had to travel to Thetford so I am pleased the provider listened to the needs of my constituents and agreed to open a local centre. I have also worked with colleagues from the Papworth Trust, Anglia Ruskin University, the DWP and Daniel Zeichner (Cambridge City MP) to run a Reverse Jobs Fair in September. We invited local employers to a free networking event to showcase the value of employing disabled peo- ple. Dozens of businesses came along and saw how employing disabled staff could bring real value to their organisations whilst also delivering the jobs and independence that disabled workers deserve. Next challenge is to get some concrete job offers – watch this space! Our Job Fair coincided with the end of the 2016 Paralympics, with South Cambs resident Clare Cunningham competing in the Paratriathlon. Al- ready a gold medal Paralympian swimmer, I‟m sure you‟ll join me in cheering her on, admiring her determination and dedication to this second sport. Determination and the belief that two heads are better than one was very much in evidence as local resident Alison Kitchingand I negotiated with Stagecoach for reduced rates for sixth formers. I‟m delighted we man- aged to secure a better deal in time for September and hope other opera- tors will consider following suit. As always, please do get in touch with any issues and you‟re welcome come to my “no appointment needed” drop –in surgeries. The next dates are Saturday 8th October and 19 November. You can find full details on my website www.heidisouthcambs.co.uk/ residents-drop-surgeries or drop me an email at [email protected] or call my office at 01954 212707.

17

Local solicitors offering client focused and value for

money legal services tailored to your individual needs TEL: (01223) 713300

Family: Divorce and Separation, Children and Finance, Cohabitation Agreement, Change of Name

[email protected]; [email protected]

Conveyancing: Residential and Commercial [email protected];

[email protected]; [email protected]

Probate and Wills: also Powers of Attorney and Planning for the future

[email protected]; [email protected] Free Parking/Disabled Access www.irenaspence.co.uk

Comberton office: Cambridge office:

5 Green End Mount Pleasant House

Comberton Huntingdon Road

Cambridge CB23 7DY Cambridge CB3 0RN

18

19

FROM CLARE McGOWAN and CLARE LYON

On 11 September, Hardwick Play Parks Group held a Family 5k Fun Run to raise funds for new play park equip- ment. The weather was kind, as were the people of Hardwick and nearby. We raised £620 on the day with sponsorship money still coming in. We are estimating a total of a staggering £750! We would really like to thank St Mary's Church, John Wilderspin and Natural Landscapes for volunteering their time; The Blue Lion, Leaders Estate Agents, Gourmet Vegan and Tesco Bar Hill for their sponsorship. Others thank yous must go to: Jen from Jazzercise for a fantastic warm up, all the cake makers and tombola prize donators, and Ellie Gardner for her wonderful face painting skills. Finally, a big thank you to those who ran, jogged and walked the course. It wouldn't have been the success it was without all of you!

We would not have been able to host this event without the support of the Hardwick Play Park Committee and volunteer helpers. It was huge team effort to be proud of.

We hope you agree that it was a great village event which we hope to repeat.

WANTED ORIGINAL POETRY LETTERS ARTICLES JOKES [email protected]

20

CHARITY WALK AT CVC Reported by Sara Rowland

On 23 September Comberton Village College students clocked up more than 5000 miles between them in their annual four-mile walk to raise funds for projects undertaken in conjunction with partner schools across the globe. Previously known as The Walk for Africa, 2016 saw the launch of “Walk for the World” as the Peruvian Lord Byron School in Arequipa will be receiving some of almost £3,500 donated so far. Comberton cur- rently helps to fund specific projects in three orphanages in Peru and in the summer students helped decorate new accommodation for termi- nally-ill orphans there. Support will continue be given to long-standing partner schools Eden- dale in Pretoria and to Escola Secundaria Noroeste do 1 in Mozam- bique, schools which strive to offer educational opportunities to their young people in challenging circumstances. This is the 20th anniversary year of Comberton‟s partnership with Eden- dale and funds from the walk this year will pay for specific work in the orphanage there. Escola Secundaria Noreste do 1, in Mozambique is a mixed gender gov- ernment school with over 6000 students but has very limited resources. It is very rare that students from the school travel within their own country let alone have the opportunity to visit another. Monies from the walk enable us to pay for Escola students to visit us every two years. This experience has been life-changing for the students and teachers involved and that influence is being more widely felt now within the school itself. Trust chief executive Stephen Munday said: “We are really delighted that our schools take seriously the task of fund-raining for excellent causes. This is a proper and important part of education for young peo- ple in our schools. Being concerned about others and major issues in our world is something that we want for all young people we educate. Being prepared to do something positive about it, to make a difference, is to be highly commended.”

21

22

HARDWICK W.I. – SEPTEMBER 2016 We welcomed Bob Jones back to Hardwick, this time talking to us about ‘Village Life’. He had some inter- esting tales to share with us. In the last few months we have set up some extra groups: The ‘Crafty Natters’ meet each month for cuppa, a chat and some craft work. The ‘Dining Out Club’ continues to enjoy sampling menus in different restaurants around the area, our next venue being The White Swan in Connington. Our Theatre Group have booked to see The Full Monty at the Arts Theatre in January – a good take up for that!! There is a keen interest in darts this year with two teams coming forward from Hardwick so let’s wish them luck. We also contributed to the Church harvest festival by decorating a window with harvest produce. Dare I say it, but we are also organising ourselves for the Christmas Bazaar. Anne Jones COPY for the next edition of HH is due on the 12th of November [email protected]

23

M.RAWLINSON CHIMNEY SWEEP & STOVE FITTING Peter Wakeling & Sons

Established in Hardwick 1960

CHIMNEY SWEEPING STOVE INSTALLATION FIREPLACE INSTALLATION HETAS REGISTERED FAULT FINDING BIRD GUARD FITTING FREE QUOTES

Tel. 01954 211049 3 Lark Rise, Hardwick, Cambridge CB23 7XZ

24

25

GUN POWDER, TREASON AND PLOT [And the Festival of Lights] Howard Baker.

In the early seventeenth century, though England was a predominantly Protestant country there were some powerful Catholics whose aim was to see the country ruled by a Catholic king. This would strengthen the influ- ence of the Pope and weaken the power of the Church of England. On the other hand, there were some who accepted the Protestant hierarchy and rose to high office in the House of Parliament and the House of Lords. A third, and very small group of Catholics plotted the violent overthrow of the king and both houses of parliament. In 1601one of this minority group, Robert Catesby, began to plot in ear- nest to blow up the Houses of Parliament on the day of the state opening when the king and the majority of members of both Houses would be pre- sent. Catesby recruited three close friends, John Wright, Thomas Percy and Thomas Winter to the plot. They also needed an explosives expert and knew of a man called Guy Fawkes. Born in York, Fawkes had learnt his explosive skills while fighting in Spain under the name of Guido Fawkes. Catesby wanted to keep the plotters to a small, tight group. His belief was that the more people who knew about the plot the greater chance they had of being betrayed. But he needed people with money and expertise and inevitably one of them betrayed the plotters. As Guy Fawkes was moving barrels of gun powder into a cellar under parliament building he was arrested, as were the other four original plotters, and they suffered the gruesome death of being hung, drawn and quartered. The king (James l) ordered that November 5th should become a day of national celebration when bonfires would be lit and effigies of the plotters burnt. Though Catesby was the leader of the plot, it was Guy Fawkes whose effigy burnt. I was once explaining the origins of Guy Fawkes Night, the annual No- vember 5th celebration to some Italian students and one of them asked „Are you celebrating the fact that he tried to blow up parliament, or the fact that he failed?‟

26

This struck me as being a very perceptive question. There is no doubt that the king wanted his loyal subjects to celebrate the failure of the plot, but over the years Guy Fawkes seems to have become a national hero or at times largely forgotten. The effigy on the bonfire has just be- come „the guy‟ and in recent times has become symbolic of a current hate figure. I have seen Margaret Thatcher, Saddam Hussein, George Bush and Tony Blair all consigned to the flames. The strangest variation on the theme was told to me by a friend who is a supporter of Portsmouth football club. Portsmouth fans have a strong hatred of their nearest rivals Southampton F.C. whom they dispar- agingly name „the scummers‟ and my friend on his way to a Portsmouth game saw two lads with a guy dressed in Southampton colours and a mes- sage saying „£1 to burn the scummer.‟ Years ago we used to ask for a penny for the guy and use the money to buy fireworks or sweets, but the two Portsmouth lads and their „scummer‟ probably opened a high interest bank account with all the £1 coins they received. Whatever you are celebrating on November 5th, just enjoy the bon- fire, fireworks and food and drink. We certainly need something to cheer us up in the dark days of November. THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS

Diwali, the Hindu Festival of Lights falls this year on October 30th. It is one of the most popular Hindu festivals and is also celebrated by Sikhs and Jains. The festival lasts for five days and celebrates the victory of good over evil, light over darkness and knowledge over ignorance. It is a time for thoroughly spring cleaning the house, wearing new clothes, deco- rating houses and public building with lights. It is also a time for fire- works and sweets and exchanging gifts. Last year I became involved in Diwali celebrations on a bus travel- ling between Cambourne and Cambridge when a beautifully dressed girl came round offering sweets to her fellow passengers.

Copy for the next edition is due on the 12th of November [email protected] 27

Three Fruit Marmalade Tried and tested by Carole Oakes Makes approximately 2.25kg (5lb) Ingredients 1½lb mixed citrus fruit (approx. 2 oranges, 1 grapefruit, 2 lem- ons) 3 pints (1.7 litres) water 3lb (1.35kg) preserving sugar 3 tablespoons lemon juice Method Wash the fruit thoroughly, carefully cut some of the peel off the oranges and lemons and slice thinly into „shreds‟ and set these aside. Cut fruits in half and squeeze out the juice. Put skins, flesh, pips etc., into a piece of cloth (muslin if you have to hand or an unused j-cloth would suffice). Into your pan put the juices, water and bag of skins. Bring to the boil. Lower the heat, cover and cook for approximately 1½ hours on a steady simmer, stirring occasionally, until the liquid has reduced by about half. Remove the bag of fruit skins, squeeze between two plates to extract as much juice as possible pouring back into your pan. Add all the sugar to the pan, stirring frequently to prevent sticking and cook over a low heat until all sugar has dissolved. Bring to the boil and continue boiling steadily until setting point is reached (221˚f). Put a tea plate into the fridge and test for the setting point on this. Leave to cool for about 15 minutes then pour into sterilized, warmed jars, cover with a waxed disc and lid. I would recommend resting your cooking thermometer on your wooden spoon in the pan, so it does not sit on the base of the pan.

28

What does hospitality look like?

I have been thinking quite a bit about hospitality re- cently, asking questions such as: If you could invite anyone for a meal who would it be? How do you know that a party is going well? Who talks most when you get together around the table? What would your answer be to these? Or ponder these more reflective questions: Is it easier to give hospital- ity or to receive it? What makes a place feel welcoming? How can we help people feel at home where they live? Hospitality on a larger scale is why we need places in our community where paths can cross and all kinds of people can feel at home. Hospitality is, I think, a spiritual value. It is both an attitude and a practice, as this quote describes: “Hospitality does not begin with the home, but with the heart. It is not merely a calculation of available space, food or resources, but the gen- eration of generous love, interest and acceptance. Hospitality is an atti- tude to life. Hospitality is not simply something we do, but something formed within us.” I wonder what you think. This is an ancient story about hospitality… or is it? You decide. When Jesus was eating supper at Matthew‟s house with his close fol- lowers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and accused Jesus‟ followers. “What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cosy with crooks and riffraff?” Jesus, overhearing, shot back, “Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: „I‟m after mercy, not religion.‟ I‟m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.” (Luke 9:9-13, The Message)

I wonder, what does (or should) hospitality look like here in Hard- wick? Alison

29

St Mary’s Church, Hardwick

St Mary‟s, Hardwick, is part of the Lordsbridge Team of Churches, and the diocese of Ely www.stmaryshardwick.org.uk Revd Alison Myers is a Team Vicar in the Lordsbridge Team, and is Lead Minister for Hardwick and Dry Drayton and Lead Minis- ter for pioneer projects Tel: 01954 212815; Email: [email protected] The Rectory, 50, Main Street, Hardwick, Cambridge CB23 7QS

Services in November (at St Mary’s Hardwick unless otherwise noted)

6 November 9.30 am Holy Communion with Sunday Club

13 November 9.30 am A Service of Remembrance with Sunday Club

20 November 10.30 am The Annual Area Wide Celebration Service

at Comberton Leisure ‘Just living’

27 November 9.30 am Holy Communion with Sunday Club

7.30 pm Sacred Space based at Dry Drayton, ‘A season of invitation’

4 December 9.30 am Holy Communion with Sunday Club

30

31

Time

midday

-

midday midday midday midday

3pm

4pm 4pm 4pm

3pm

- - - -

– – –

7.30pm 7.30pm 10am fire- 5.30pm, @ open Gates 7pm @ works TBC 1pm 8pm 7.45pm TBC 11am 7pm 7.45pm 2pm 7.30pm 7.30pm TBC 10am 2pm 4.30pm 2pm 10.30am 7.45pm 4pm 6.30pm 7.45pm 7.30pm 10am TBC 8pm 7.45pm 7.30pm 7.30pm 10am 8pm TBC

School

-

Venue

Club Social & Sports School Hardwick School Hardwick Blue Lion School Hardwick Foyer Morrisons Blue Lion School Hardwick Club Social & Sports School Hardwick Pre Hardwick School Hardwick Foyer Morrisons Club Social & Sports Club Social & Sports School Hardwick School Hardwick Foyer Morrisons Church St Mary’s Foyer Morrisons Church St Mary’s School Hardwick Church St Mary’s Mary’s St Behind Church School Hardwick Club Social & Sports School Hardwick School Hardwick Blue Lion School Hardwick Club Social & Sports Club Social & Sports School Hardwick Blue Lion School Hardwick

VILLAGE DIARY

‘You couldn’t make it up’ it make couldn’t ‘You Workshop Flower

– -

Event

£2 to include wine & nibbles & wine include to £2

-

Please note the change of date of change the note Please

Clare Robinson Robinson Clare

Sarah Harrison Sarah Harrison

-

Quiz expert/auctioneer/TV antiques with Evening An Tickets ‘Flogit’. from Palmer David personality from available wine), & cheese include £10 (to Jones Anne Company & Coffee ‘Pippin’s’ Bonfire Disco Guides Point Contact Police Quiz W.I. Disco Bazaar Christmas Party Body Shop Meeting Council Parish Point Contact Police Bingo Quiz Disco Guides Company & Coffee ‘Pippin’s’ Point Contact Police Service Carol Point Contact Police Morning Fun Christmas W.I. Service Christingle fire the around Carols Meeting Council Parish Quiz Company & Coffee ‘Pippin’s’ Disco Guides Quiz Meeting Council Parish Bingo Quiz Company & Coffee ‘Pippin’s’ Quiz Disco Guides

nd th th nd rd th th th th

th th th th th st th th st st th th st

th

rd th th th rd th th th th

st

Date

Nov 3 4 5 6 11 12 15 16 18 19 21 22 24 28 Dec 1 2nd 3 5 18 19 21 21 22 23 27 Jan 5 7 13 17 24 30 Feb 2nd 4 21 24

32

Time

midday

-

midday midday midday midday

3pm

4pm 4pm 4pm

3pm

- - - -

– – –

7.30pm 7.30pm 10am fire- 5.30pm, @ open Gates 7pm @ works TBC 1pm 8pm 7.45pm TBC 11am 7pm 7.45pm 2pm 7.30pm 7.30pm TBC 10am 2pm 4.30pm 2pm 10.30am 7.45pm 4pm 6.30pm 7.45pm 7.30pm 10am TBC 8pm 7.45pm 7.30pm 7.30pm 10am 8pm TBC

School

-

Venue

Club Social & Sports School Hardwick School Hardwick Blue Lion School Hardwick Foyer Morrisons Blue Lion School Hardwick Club Social & Sports School Hardwick Pre Hardwick School Hardwick Foyer Morrisons Club Social & Sports Club Social & Sports School Hardwick School Hardwick Foyer Morrisons Church St Mary’s Foyer Morrisons Church St Mary’s School Hardwick Church St Mary’s Mary’s St Behind Church School Hardwick Club Social & Sports School Hardwick School Hardwick Blue Lion School Hardwick Club Social & Sports Club Social & Sports School Hardwick Blue Lion School Hardwick

VILLAGE DIARY

‘You couldn’t make it up’ it make couldn’t ‘You Workshop Flower

– -

Event

£2 to include wine & nibbles & wine include to £2

-

Please note the change of date of change the note Please

Clare Robinson Robinson Clare

Sarah Harrison Sarah Harrison

-

Quiz expert/auctioneer/TV antiques with Evening An Tickets ‘Flogit’. from Palmer David personality from available wine), & cheese include £10 (to Jones Anne Company & Coffee ‘Pippin’s’ Bonfire Disco Guides Point Contact Police Quiz W.I. Disco Bazaar Christmas Party Body Shop Meeting Council Parish Point Contact Police Bingo Quiz Disco Guides Company & Coffee ‘Pippin’s’ Point Contact Police Service Carol Point Contact Police Morning Fun Christmas W.I. Service Christingle fire the around Carols Meeting Council Parish Quiz Company & Coffee ‘Pippin’s’ Disco Guides Quiz Meeting Council Parish Bingo Quiz Company & Coffee ‘Pippin’s’ Quiz Disco Guides

nd th th nd rd th th th th

th th th th th st th th st st th th st

th

rd th th th rd th th th th

st

Date

Nov 3 4 5 6 11 12 15 16 18 19 21 22 24 28 Dec 1 2nd 3 5 18 19 21 21 22 23 27 Jan 5 7 13 17 24 30 Feb 2nd 4 21 24

33

Being a Rainbow is all about having the space to try new things and have fun. Rainbows learn by doing – they get their hands dirty, do sports, arts and crafts and play games. Through taking part in a range of different ac- tivities with girls of their own age Rainbows develop self -confidence and make new friends. The Hardwick Rainbows meet during term time and have spaces for more girls aged 5 – 7. You can find out more about the Rainbow programme at www.girlguiding.org where you can also register your daughter as a Rainbow, or put her on the Rainbow wait- ing list. If you would like to speak to one of the Hardwick Rain- bow leaders you can [email protected], phone 01654 210570 or text 07768 438210. Hardwick Rainbows is a charity exempt from registra- tion. 34

35

FROM Pcso John Coppard

Please see the document regarding the Police Contact point dates and times .. Also ‘Hello’. I have taken over from David as the vil- lages new point of contact for the police. I will be out and about at some point ,meeting and greeting over the next couple of weeks. Although I have worked alongside David for the last two years nearly, I know some of the issues and our roles now mean that we will be targeting crime hotspots and assisting in reducing crime with the help of the Sgt’s and local policing command based in South Cambs. I look forward to meeting you all at some point in the future. Kind Regards John

Pcso John Coppard 7269 T: 101 ext 7113441 e-mail [email protected] Cambourne Police Station| Sackville Way | Great Cambourne | Cambridgeshire | CB23 6EG

Police Contact Point

The Police Contact point will be operatingin the foyer of Morrisons supermarket between 2pm and 4pmon the fol- lowing dates: - Saturday 12th November(1pm to 3pm) Thursday 24th November Monday 5th December Monday 19th December

If you wish an officer to contact you, please call 101 and leave a message on extension 3920.

36

Hardwick Village Plan Coming soon…. The Hardwick Village Plan survey aims to gather your views on the future of the village. We want as many residents as possible to give their opinions to help influence not only fu- ture housing development and transport links but also how the community develops in the coming years. Have your say and help shape the future of our village. The survey results will be used to produce a report and plan that fully considers all ideas for the village’s future and which can be put into action by appropriate bodies (South Cambridgeshire County Council, the Parish Council, a local group or business and so on). This will be published and shared with the village and those with the capacity to action the plan in the coming years. The survey will be launched on Saturday 19th November 2016 and close at midnight on Sunday 4th January 2017. You can complete the survey online at: www.hardwickplan.co.uk/survey A paper version will be available too. Contact Betty Grimes on 07955 045 742(email: [email protected]) for a copy. If you would like help filling in the survey, please con- tact Betty. The Hardwick Plan Committee is made up of a group of committed Hardwick residents acting independently of the Parish and South Cambridgeshire District Councils, with no links to the proposed new housing developments. The com- mittee are grateful to Hardwick Parish Council for providing funding for the Village Plan. The aim is to create an action plan for Hardwick to im- prove and develop it into something shaped by everyone rather than the few. See the Hardwick Village Plan website for more information: http://www.hardwickplan.uk/ Or contact the committee on: 0773 292 3839 [email protected] [email protected] Hardwick Village Plan Committee Oct 2016 37

November in your garden by Carole Oakes Before most things die back completely in your garden this is a good time to assess the changes you would like to make, whether regaining the shape and structure of your plot or thinking about the use of your gar- den and if this has changed. Do you want to extend your vegetable growing area? Have the children grown older and no longer need the „safe play‟ areas they once did? Perhaps your new family has just be- gun and you are wanting to introduce new areas. Like us, our gardens are ever changing and maybe now is the time to create your dream of a quiet corner, just for you, where you can sit anytime surrounded by beautiful trees, shrubs and plants you have chosen and planted, complimented by cherished items newly purchased or those you have gathered over the years. Maybe it‟s time to open up an area and let the light in. Our local libraries have an extensive array of books on all subjects you may encounter in the garden, designing, planting, the different parts water can play in your garden, hard land- scaping, containers, growing fruit and vegetables, to name a few, so why not pop down and borrow some to help you.

I can see it now in my mind, so I will light the fire, make some tea and jot down some exciting ideas, no matter how big or small! To join the library just go to www.cambridgeshire.gov.uk and follow the link. Once you are a member this allows you to bor- row from and return to any library in the county.

38

39

RESTAURANT REVIEW La Pergola. Near Harlston CB23 1HA

Having recently returned from a holiday in Italy we were looking for some authentic Italian food in Cambridgeshire. That isn‟t hard to find for us residents of Hardwick. La Per- gola, about six miles from the village claims to have the only authentic wood-burning pizza oven in the region. Based at The Wheatsheaf pub on the A603 out of Bar- ton, the restaurant was founded by Giulio De Simone and is now run by various members of his family, it sources much of its produce locally and grows vegetable and produces free range eggs on the allotment which adjoins the premises. It opened in 2007 and has had highly favourable reviews in na- tional newspapers and magazine and was awarded four stars on Trip Advisor. La Pergola welcomes children and large groups and also has a takeaway pizza service. My wife and I visited the restaurant recently on a Satur- day lunchtime. We are non-meat-eaters and were well catered for on both the starter and pizza menus. Helen chose sca- morza as a starter. This consisted of smoked mozzarella cheese, salad and a balsamic drizzle. I chose insalata caprese- consisting of mozzarella cheese, sliced tomatoes and rocket. Mozzarella can sometimes be tough and tasteless, while tomatoes, especially at this time of year, are often long past their best, but this dish was perfect – flavoursome cheese and crisp tomatoes, an ideal starter. In the interests of research I also sampled Helen‟s starter and this again was packed with flavour, crisp vegetable and lightly fried mozzarella – a new taste experience for me. As an accompaniment we had home- baked bread, made to a traditional recipe.

40

There was a choice of eighteen tomato-based pizzas and four examples of pizza bianca, white pizza, (i.e. without tomato base.) This was a type of pizza that I „discovered‟ in Italy re- cently, but I am assured that it has been around for a long time. Helen chose a chargrilled vegetable topping, the vegetables in- cluding aubergines, mushrooms, artichokes, spinach, courgettes and olives. My „white pizza‟ consisted of gorgonzola, mozza- rella and parmesan cheese with walnuts. During our holiday we had a discussion with some Italian friends about things that can and cannot be put on pizzas. They were shocked when some English people they met in the USA cooked them a pizza which included pineapple and garlic among the toppings. Per- sonally, I have never before encountered walnuts as a pizza topping but they do receive the Italian seal of approval, so who am I to quibble? I am not convinced that the flavours of cheese and walnuts blend successfully but I am open to correction on this. My only criticism of the whole experience was that there was only one hard-pressed waiter serving ten tables so we had to wait a while for our food. Having said that. I must add that the waiter was pleasant and helpful and we enjoyed practising our Italian with him. Apart from this quibble we both thoroughly enjoyed our visit to La Pergola There was a pleasant friendly atmosphere and first rate food. The cost, including bread, mineral water, a glass of wine and coffee was just over £50. Give it a try. It‟s just down the road.

Would you like to review a local restaurant for us? Contact the editors who will welcome your interest. [email protected]

41

From [email protected]

HARDWICK voluntary litter picking - 36 bags of rubbish and 1 child's car seat.

Thank you to all of the seventeen people, including Pauline Joslin (a Hardwick Parish Councillor), who turned up to litter pick on Saturday 8 October 2016. Also thanks to two people who litter picked the Cambridge end of St Neots Road before the 8th October.

42

We managed to cover a good area of the village: St. Neots Road, Cambridge Road, Main Street, the playing field and the skate park and collected 36 bags of rubbish, (picture opposite), a child's car seat and also found a road sign, in the bushes behind the skate park, which had been removed from Ellison Lane.

The litter pickers would appreciate people taking their lit- ter home or placing it in the litter bins. It is also not pleas- ant to have to deal with disposable nappies which have been thrown behind bus stops. Regarding the skate park area we have once again had to clear up a lot of broken glass. Please think about what you are doing! Glass is dangerous, especially for children and animals. Hopefully, villagers will appreciate a cleaner village and in future think about where they put their rubbish.

Muttleys Dog Walking & Care Service Local business offering dog walking, pet visits, home boarding and pet taxi service. Call Liz to discuss your individual requirements 07932 049506 or take a look at my website

www.muttleys.org

43

Friday 11 November 2016

Friday 2 December 2016

Friday 13 January 2017

Friday 24 February 2017

Friday 10 March 2017 6.45 – 8.30pm at Hardwick School Tickets £3.00 Pay on the door For school years 3 – 6 Any queries contact tel 07971 517539 e-mail - hardwickguides @gmail.com

HARDWICK FRIENDSHIP CLUB

EVERY WEDNESDAY

2pm - 5pm

ENTRY £1.00 INCLUDING REFRESHMENTS

A RAFFLE HELD ONCE A MONTH

WE HAVE OUTINGS AND GUEST SPEAKERS

NEW MEMBERS MADE WELCOME

MEETINGS HELD AT

THE SOCIAL CLUB PAVILION

44

45

MY MUSIC “I’ve always wanted to play the saxophone.”By Jo Instone Brewer I‟m a musician. I play saxophone in a ska band. I jump around a lot when I play. I have red hair. I‟m female. This makes me noticeable, and causes people to come and talk to me after a gig. Often we have pleasant conver- sations about the night, music in general, or people drunkenly telling me how well I play the trombone (it happens more often than you‟d think!). But one phrase that often comes up is “I‟ve always wanted to play the saxophone.”, to which I answer “Well it‟s never too late to learn”. And the most common response I get? “I‟m too old to start now.” I give saxophone lessons. My youngest student is eight. My oldest student is fifty. She had always wanted to play the saxophone and loves the sound of it, but she has no previous musical experience. She didn‟t read, she‟s never touched a piano, she didn‟t know the names of notes, nothing. Her husband bought her a saxophone from a junk shop for Christmas, and offered to pay for sax lessons. It turns out she loves ska music. Her aim is to be able to play „One Step Beyond‟ by Madness. I‟ve been teaching her since Christmas, and she knows the names of all the notes, can play simple tunes by sight, and is learning lots of new technical terms and understanding them. She doesn‟t think she‟s too old to learn her dream instrument. She‟s set herself a goal, she practices, she asks questions, she gets things wrong and corrects them. These are skills that we should never stop using and developing, and thought processes that should be continually used, and not abandoned once you finish school. I‟m planning to take a maths AS exam next year, because I want to continue learning. I‟m also learning to play the guitar so I can aid another teacher with beginner guitar stu- dents. Never think that your skills are limited to what you can do now. Think big. Revisit old joys. Dig out that violin from the attic and take it to a repair shop to get it sounding like it used to. Find a tune you want to play and learn it. How? Find a teacher, or an online video, or a finger chart, or a recording, or some sheet music. Want to read sheet music but can‟t? Learn! The only thing standing in the way of living and breathing music is the worry of not being able to learn new things, and that should- n‟t even be a concern. Think of all the things we learn on a regular basis; people‟s names, phone numbers, addresses, timetables, the best place to buy the shampoo you like, people‟s tea preference, football scores… “I‟ve always wanted to play the saxophone.”Then go out and do it! 46

Comberton Library Opening Hours: Monday: 10am – 1pm Wednesday: 10am – 1pm, 2pm -5pm Friday: 2pm – 5pm Saturday: 10am – 1pm More details can be found on the Library Service website at: http://www.cambridgeshire.gov.uk/library We have a replacement self-service photocopier at the library and are now able to offer both black and white and colour pho- tocopying. Black and white copies cost 10p per page for A4 and 20p for A3, whilst colour copies are 50p and £1.00 per page respectively.If you are in need of copying please do come and take advantage of this enhanced facility. Cambridgeshire Libraries has recently launched Shelf Help, part of the Reading Well Initiative. The books have been cho- sen by young people and health experts to provide teenagers, especially, with tips and ideas to help them understand and manage their emotions, as well as deal with difficult situa- tions. As well as books on self-help techniques, the reading list includes personal stories, graphic novels and fiction. The near- est Shelf Help display is at Cambourne Library, but all the books can be reserved and borrowed in the normal way. The initiative is already proving very popular, so do ask for more information if you, or a young person you know, is interested in finding out more. Further information is also available online at www.reading-well.org.uk/shelfhelp. Upcoming Rhymetime sessions: 14thand 28th November and 12th December (10.30 -11.00 am). Please note that although these sessions are aimed at very young children we welcome older siblings and pre-schoolers who enjoy singing too! 47

From the school. A Hardwick Harvest By our Junior Editors, Aidan Lee and Adam Fogerty A brand new year means a brand new school harvest. Here on the Hardwick campus of Hardwick and Cambourne Commu- nity Primary School every child is invited to bring in a gift of food to contribute to our harvest celebrations. This year, we had so many wonderful donations that we are convinced it should last someone almost an entire lifetime. There was tinned food like tomatoes, chickpeas and tuna. There was fresh food like oranges, marrows, pumpkins, broccoli and a wealth of apples. We had home-made produce such as jam, cakes and locally harvested honey. The school stage was brimming over with food, glorious food. Maybe it was the most that we had ever donated. When we celebrate harvest at Hardwick we do it to show how grateful we are for all that we have. We know that we are very lucky to have everything we need and we cannot imagine what it would feel like to be hungry and without food. Mrs. French, one of our co-headteachers, led our harvest as- sembly where she showed us pictures of what an „average‟ family, in various countries around the world, usually eat in a week. There were lots of different types of food, depending on where the family lived. Some families lived almost entirely on fresh, unprocessed foods, others on a mix of processed and fresh food and others on almost all processed food. I wonder if you can guess which countries these were? Many families had more than enough but some had very little. Mrs French told us about a woman living in Chad called Adda. Her family has only one sack of grain to last them a whole year. There is nothing else. Looking at photos of Adda and 48

her family we could all see how little food they have – they were all very thin and looked weak. It was very sad. It reminded us to be grateful for everything we have. Thankfully, Adda and her family are now being supported by a charity called Tearfund. During the assembly we sang some harvest songs. They are songs we all love to sing and we think we nearly lifted the roof off the school hall. Do you know the song that begins, „Cauliflowers fluffy and cabbages green‟? At the end of assembly all the food gifts were boxed up ready for a sale at the end of the day. Then, parents, families and friends came in to school to buy the delicious cakes and boxes of food. The money will be donated to a charity which is chosen by the pupils. We want to say thank you to our friends and families for helping us donate so much for this year‟s school harvest celebration and for coming to buy all the lovely food.

49

Parish Council Report - September meeting.

The meeting was attended by 7 councillors and 8 members of the public.

During the open part of the meeting the issue of litter was raised by a concerned villager who said that the problem had been especially noticed by the dog walkers of Hardwick. Later in the meeting it was an agenda item and the PC discussed how it too is concerned and would continue to be pro active in keeping the village clear of rubbish but that signage is not the way to tackle the problem. The PC is very grateful to the vol- unteering group which had its first 'pick' on 7th October .

The position of a paid litter picker is still open and interested applicants should contact the clerk.

A large part of the evening was spent discussing the possibility of Section 106 money resulting from any housing develop- ment that may arise in the village over the next few years. In- creased numbers of children in the village would mean the school would need the room; but section 106 money could be spent on a new Community building if it is decided upon be- fore the planning permission is ever granted. Given that the school will need to expand if the development goes ahead there has been a suggestion that the community rooms in the school be surrendered in exchange for a new community centre else- where in the village.

50

This option is being considered by the Trustees of the commu- nity facilities at the school. It is a complicated set of events that need to be thought through but a decision to relinquish the Community Room to the school seemed to be the popular one, in the interest of the whole village. This is a hypothetical situa- tion at the moment as planning permission has not yet gone to the County Council. The Village Plan group met on the 1st Sept and at present are not keen to merge into a Neighbourhood Plan group yet. More support from the village is needed in terms of volunteers offer- ing to be a part of the scheme. A hard cut back of vegetation on the recreation ground will go ahead with work on the surrounding trees too. The bench out- side the church is to be cleaned and treated as soon as possible. The meeting closed just before 11pm.

Jane Humphries

Looking for a Nursing home for your dear ones! Gracefield Nursing Home provides excellent Nursing and Resi- dential Care to people with Dementia and Mental Health problems. Please contact us for more details:- Tel: 01954 210833 Email: gracefield1@hotmail.

51

Hardwick Pre-School

Hardwick Pre-School are holding a Body Shop party to raise funds and to give you discounts on your Christ- mas presents!

When: Monday 21st November 2016

Where: Hardwick Pre-School building; accessed via Egremont Road playpark gate into school playground

Time: 7.00pm

Cost: £2 to include a glass of wine or soft drink and nibbles To reserve your ticket(s) please email: [email protected]

All monies raised will benefit the children at your vil- lage pre-school.

52

53

YOUR ADVERT COULD BE HERE

[email protected]

54

MJ WRIGHT ELECTRICAL LTD DOMESTIC-COMMERCIAL *Electrical Installations *Rewires/Additional Wiring *Fuse Boards/Upgrades *Heating System Controls *Showers *Outdoor Lighting/Power *Smoke Alarms *Fault Finding *Free Estimates

For All Your Electrical Requirements Please Contact Martin On: Mob: 07702291698/Tel: 01954 210011 Email: [email protected] 26 Ashmead Drive, Hardwick, Cambridge CB23 7XT

NB HORTICULTURE LTD All types of garden work &landscaping www.nbhort.co.uk

Hedge & Shrub supplier www.cambridgehedges.co.uk Mr N Barber BSc RHS Cert

109 Cambridge Road Great Shelford, CB22 5JJ

07789564042 01223 977306

55

ROOFING SERVICES LTD OVER 30 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN THE LOCAL ROOFING INDUSTRY.

Our extensive range of high quality workmanship includes the following: · Re-Roofing (including listed & period properties) · New-Build · Extensions · Leadwork · Roof, Chimney and Timber Repairs · High Performance Felt and Single-Ply Membrane Flat Roof Systems.

ALSO: Brighten up the exterior of your home. Renew rotten fascias etc with U.P.V.C, maintenance free, fascias and gutter systems.

For a free quotation, or advice, contact Barry on: Office: 01954 211068 Mobile: 07765440614 Email: [email protected]

56

57

Hardwick Local Walks: No 5. Man and Archie St Mary’s Church to Caldecote, Toft and Comberton.

This is a circular walk about 12 km long so rather longer than previous walks in this series. However, there are several points along the way where you could take a shortcut home, or stop for a pub lunch. From the church, walk past the Blue Lion pub to the southern end of the village. Take the footpath on the right just after the last bungalow signed: Wimpole Way, 1⅓ miles to Caldecote. Follow the path all the way to the horse paddock at the end. Turn left and continue past the wood all the way along the path until you reach the road which goes towards Toft. Turn left here and walk along the road until you come to Caldecote church Turn left into the churchyard, following the sign to “Toft ¾ mile”. Follow this path through several gates, over a wooden bridge and across several fields until you emerge in Toft near the shop. Turn left following the main road along the footpath to Comberton, passing the Meridian sign and oak tree along the way. At the cross roads in Comberton you can either turn right and make a short diversion to the Three Horse Shoes for a pub lunch, or turn left into Green End towards home. Continue along Green End, past the doctor‟s surgery, until the road bends to the right. At this point there is a footpath to Hardwick on your left. (There is a post but the sign was miss- ing when we did the walk). Follow the footpath until you come to a wooden rail halfway across the path. At this point you turn left, rejoining the Wim- pole Way and back to Main Street Hardwick. If you have a favorite local walk, please submit it to Hard- wick Happenings for others to enjoy. [email protected]

58

59

STEPWISE FOOTCARE Vivien Honeyborne- Martins MA(Cantab) BSc(Hons) MChS HPC Reg- istered

Clinic-based Chiropody/Podiatry C & M Hair Studio, The Mount, Toft, Cambs, CB23 2RLOn Tuesdays only l: 01223 262822 / Mobile 07980 286876stepwise- footcare.co.uk [email protected]

60

61

TV Review: The Apprentice. Howard Baker.

„We‟re not going go watch it again, are we?‟ we said. But of course we did. We can resist the charms of Strictly Come Dancing, The Great British Bake-off, The X-Factor and Brit- ain‟s Got Talent but when it comes to The Apprentice, which returned recently for its twelfth series, we are, I‟m afraid, hooked. Why, I ask myself. Not because of the charm of Lord Sugar (or Alan, as Karren Brady proudly calls him). „I‟m not here to make friends,‟ he declares, „I‟m here to find a business partner.‟ Exactly. No one‟s there to make friends. Cut-throat competition is the name of the game. Friends? Who needs friends when there‟s a chance to make money? Perhaps the addictive aspect of the programme is that it makes you wonder whether this year‟s crop of apprentices can be worse than previous ones. Sadly, they were. Who could pos- sibly sit down and write on a CV, „The sheer energy that I am going to bring is going to mimic that of a nuclear explosion‟? Aleksandra could. I shall watch her progress carefully, as I shall watch that of Jessica, whom I would have fired in the first round. Beware of people who use fake American accents, is one of my guiding principles in life. You could, of course, praise the women for trying to say something original. The men stuck to the usual male formulae of emphasising the words „conflict‟ and „fight‟. The candidates were divided into two teams based on gen- der and the task was (have we seen this one before?) to assess some items, value them and try to sell them. Michelle was very keen to volunteer as project manager. „I don‟t know the first thing about antiques,‟ she said, „but I‟m good at working with teams and motivating them.‟ 62

The first part of that sentence was undoubtedly true but the fact that she was the first person to be fired would suggest that the same did not apply to the second part. Her team spent a long time listening to the views of an expert then ignoring his advice and resorting to panic buying and the fact that a member of the team managed to sell a vase worth £300 for £15 was just their most glaring mistake. After the inevitable board room verbal punch-up, Lord Sugar fired the hapless Michelle and perhaps as she made her way to the waiting taxi she may have thought it not to have been a good idea. Or perhaps it was: to get it over quickly might be a good idea on this programme, especially as the suc- cessful men‟s team were „rewarded‟ by being sent off to learn how to do the Lindy Hop. As for us helplessly addicted viewers, there are only eleven more episodes to go.

DICK SEARLE GROUP WASTE & RECYCLING LET US "GRAB YOU " !

26 TONNE GRAB LORRIES FOR YOUR MUCK AWAY, WASTE ETC. "YOU PILE IT, WE’LL GRAB IT" WE WILL ALSO TAKE - AWAY ANY BUILDERS MERCHANT BAG FILLED WITH YOUR UNWANTED CLUT- TER ,GARDEN & DIY BUILDING WASTE ETC WE ALSO CRUSH & SELL QUALITY CRUSHED HARDCORE

DICK SEARLE 07702 822775 / 01954 210613 / 01954 210520

EMAIL: [email protected]

63

64