ttfhe etoanee purple SEWANEE, TENNESSEE October 30, 1997 Vol. CLXXV1I No. 4 offrat King jungle behwiirvi Party Weekend ends in Womack Dalton Lyon by the lion. On the night of Friday, This is not the first hospital for five students missed by all October 3. the SAE lion time an attempt has been was vandalized by four by Kelly Smith ing under-age drinking by Sally Cassady made to desecrate the lion students. or actions Most upper classmen Sewanee The - that would has •, which flanks the front The campus u r lion's head was knocked undoubtedly remember otherwise require dis. i entrance of the SAE vived yet another Fall with a sledgehammer. Ken Womack. the Marnot off house. Besides numerous Party Weekend, hul not plinary action. Spray The de- employee who worked in layers of without some instances believes that students struction was the Tiger Bay Pub and paint that has that have alarmed the cam- need alternative types discovered by managed Gailor last been added pus. of help. junior George school year and part of over the "Students who are Haskell According to Dean this fall. He was the guy years, the lion taken to the hospital for shortly after Spray, five students with the white hair and was success- drinking do not get into incident, were taken to Emerald- the mustache who always the fully stolen informed Hodgson Hospital this trouble from me." Spray who about twenty SAE weekend for medical said. "It is more impor- the years ago, president, emergencies caused by tant for them to get help according to from their friends and Reggie Ramsey. over-consumption of Ramsey. The From me than to worry After this alcohol. Four ol these
police were about being punished. I -- > incident, the occurred Thursday called to the fraternity night, but not from one am all for having fun, scene " and a but I also worry . made their particular party .is ru- report was lion more mors around campus The number of emer- filed. secure by have claimed, and one gencies on Party Week- The four the rubble anil remains oflhe stabilizing it occurred Saturday end did increase this students each SAE lion in the ground night. Spray, who stays year. It is common to confessed to the SAE with four poles and ten on call during Party have some accidents, fraternity and to Dean feet of cement. Weekends for emergen- but not to the degree of Pearigen. Dean Spray sent The SAE's are trying to five students spending the offenders to the cies such as thee, went Dis- restore the lion without Ken Womack, left, will no longer greet the night in the hospi- to the emergency hungry students cipline Committee which severely altering its room tal. "When I started convened and made its original shape. They have with all of thest stu- Sewanee in '92. people welcomed students as decision on October 11. already put some pieces dents. they came in the breezy used to go to the hospi- One of the students will back together and have "I go to the h< spital entranceway to Gailor. remain on campus for the tal on Party Weekend contacted several sculp- because these si idents Most upperclassmen have remainder of the semester for stitches when they tors with the of . hope need an advocai " said probably also noticed that but will be on suspension fixing it soon. The out- "1 fell down or punched a Spray. don'i t all Mr. Womack's smiling next semester. The other side layer window," is made of ' said senior parents unless ticrc B face is no longer there to three were immediately Potter's Metal and the imminent Henry Parsley. "Only greet hungry Sewanee dang. , be- Suspended for rtwremain- inside in filled with ce- abouLone person would students, and they miss cause they iv fl i get bills der of this semester and ment. The earliest re- from the hospital any- be taken to the hospital the man nick-named by will face social probation corded date of the lion is way." / for alcohol poisoning." Sewanee as "Captain when they return after 1932, although it is be- Spray believes that Gailor." Christmas. Along with lieved by many students The students involved the increase is not nec- According to Eric these punishments, the to be older do not receive any pun- much than Director of essarily a cause for Koenig, four student are respon- this, with rumors ishment from the some Marriot on the Mountain, sible alarm and that the in- for paying repara- placing it back to the school. In medical Womack is no longer tions for the damage to crease could be inter- Civil War days. crisis situations involv- employed by Marriot continued to page 5 Food Services "Ken was with Marriot for about a Demasiado deserves snaps Tigersdawtharvvay to the top year and a half, and moved from the Pub man- by David Price guished and defining agement position to Petty Jazz fans on the Moun- artists as John Coltrane, by Katherine at Rhodes College in Gailor" Koenig said. "He fate of the tain ought to be rejoicing Charlie Parker, and the The Southern Memphis, TN. Sewanee had a great personality Athletic nowadays. The jazz- legendary Miles Davis. Collegiate will take on Millsaps in and was well-liked by the fusion quartet Demasiado These artists carved their Conference's volleyball the first round, and with students. We will miss teams will be determined success, will has recently poked its niches in American jazz and move on him and hope that he is head up amidst lame soul music using traditional this season by mental to Trinity in the second. doing well." groups and refried cover acoustic instruments toughness. Sewanee (4-3 The Tigers have a lot Koenig had no other bands that so often dot including but not limited SCAC. 10-13 overall) of potential to advance to comments regarding the feels that their physical the top of the conference campus social events. to the saxophone, trum- reasons of Womack's endurance has been in this The ensemble features pet, standup bass, drums, championship dismissal except that he present, but they lack Their big- Warren Hold on lead and piano. However, with tournament. continued to page 5 some of the nuntal gest will guitar and vocals, Jason the development and challenge be strength needed to suc- overcoming their troubles Price tickling the ivories, influence of rock and roll Q(, [Ben ceed in the l 7 season. with consistency. Every Roosevelt steadily in modern culture, jazz SCAC Volleyball The st player has thumping along on bass, musicians were con- Tigers i came her day on the out cr. court, but will need and Rob "Animal" Smith fronted with new musical of the they after Cross divisional tournament to play well together in fall over the drums. territory made possible by Divisional where they finished 2-2, order to secure the num- Demasiado's first perfor- the different musical mance took place on losing to Southwestern ber one seed in the con- | capabilities of electric
and Trinity. I ney suc- ference. Senior volley- 1. Trinity October 11th in Guerry instruments. Not surpris- ceeded, however, in de- ball player, Elizabeth Garth before a very re- ingly, some old-school feating Hendr • and Cunnigham, believes that sponsive crowd of stu- jazz musicians, like Miles 2. Southwestern Rhodes. the Tigers have had a dents and locals there to Davis, jumped at the This week good season experience a night of opportunity to take their end Sewanee thus far. 3.Centre relaxation and musical music where jazz had not will play in Sewanee is exploration. They were been before. not the Averctt. ooking for disappointed. It was after this discov- 4.Sewanee Cougar Class' ward to conic r The band has chosen to ery by visionary musi- Volleyball encc lourn.i label their music as "jass cians that the music re- Tournament ii mcnl. and their 5.Millsaps 'usion" even though their ally gets weird. Bands Danville, VA ability to fepertoir includes a like Miles's started ap- finish in the couple not guitars, However, the of numbers plying electric 6. Rhodes Tiger's biggc • top. "This is usually considered to be basses, distortion effects ) | challenge W i I (he best team fcven "jazz." Since many etc. to a musical tradition occur the we've had in might not know what the that already thrived on 7. Oglethorpe following the four years term "jazz- fusion" refers testing the limits of music weekend in tr I've been »o exactly some explana- as an art form. From this SCAC Champ playing," says 8.Hcndrix tion is needed. Jazz newer form of jazz that onship. This Elizabeth. music had its heyday involves electricity and
tournament /'•»• t*mo by /. •* ami** throughout the 1960s continued to page 9 will take pla*. Jen Bulkelry maket a vollty 'nvolving such distin- )
October 30 purple (T|,c ship, I was curi- society, but to stay. There is no rea cized. However, upon women take a back seat to as t<« how active stick the institution of ous jual others arc content to closer evaluation of the the man's decisions gov- son why students were as leaders. their head in a hole. Our means advocated by erning the family. the American family can If Scwanec has a problem as citizens of should not work participation Promise Keepers to Such a patriarchal view not or with leadership in the is a topic far too the context of the world achieve their ends of of the family should not within in i( ni body, it would not. exhaustive to cover in a equality. restoring tie family, it be taken lightly. In fact, be alone among colleges. book, let alone a newspaper In conclusion, the becomes very clear why it should be rejected for Mass media laments the oolumn. NcverthelesSj'lhi's Promise Keepers should some women s groups two important reasons. ambivalence of today's ,, what I plan to examine in for their protesteJ the .'remise First, studies about the be complimented young adults, which have subsequent columns. So Keeper* natioral rally political socialization of support of the family. "in, k imwn i as "genera- bi much goes unnoticed by all Apparently, Promise children indicate that the However, any compli- iimii x Why do young of us that it is time that we Keepers advocate that family is the primary ments should stop there people toduy not care more reexamine the way we view men should be better source of influence for Promise Keepers' pro- abOUl the critical issues that the world. I hope that this husbands and fathers by children's conceptions of posed solution to the la. . the world today? Why column will help us think taking back the leadership the world. What kind of crisis of the American do things like the fires in about things from a differ- role in the family. Men lesson about equality does family is wrong and out Southeast Asia, the lack of ent perspective, to better shouldn't just become a child learn from a fam- dated. Attempts to sal- clean water in two-thirds of prepare us to be the leaders more involved in the ily that is based upon a vage the institution of the the world, or the threat of which we will become. family; men should take patriarchal power struc- family should not scrape post Soviet nuclear prolif- I seek to look at things control ol the family. ture'' Any lesson of the basic American prin- eration elii it little more which touch the life of the Understandably, such equality taken from such ciple of equality in order than a concerned remark Sewanee community in a blatant patriarchal mes- a family is hollow at best, to secure the family. The and a yawn from most thought provoking way. sages are considered to be How can a child be ex- real challenge for students ' We are not really Students often talk about very dangerous by all men pected to understand that America is to promote the I. belling, and we do not how easily they can get and women concerned men and women are equal duel values of family anJ I. ails have a cause. Every isolated from the "real with promoting equality if important family deci- equality in a harmonious ri iteration seems io i Ind world" on the domain. in society and in the sions are exclusively way. Unfortunately, at something from « hich 10 Often, however, students family. made by the father? Sure, least for now, the Promise •n . the world, but we may are so absorbed with aca- In fairness, it should be the mother might have Keepers represent a dis- din o\ ei thai we most need demics, athletics, extracur- pointed out that the Prom- some input into the deci- traction from any such to save the world from ricular organizations, and ise Keepers do advocate dialogue, ourselves Perhaps we do themselves, that they do not that men s leadership noi i are aboui these issues notice the world of the GOV'T FORECLOSED roles in the family should homes from pennies on $ 1 bei ause we do noi see how domain — an extraordinary be viewed as a service to Delinquent Tax, Repo's. REO's. Your Area. the) affe< I us. world within a world. My Toll Free (1) 800-218-9000 Ext. H- 3303 for current listings. Before we write off goal is to show the impor- leadership at Sewance. we tance of the mundane, to should consider other ways bring issues into focus for in students « hich can lead. the ambivalent, and to mal arj to « hai mj profM issues more fuzzy for the soi said, leadership is alive headstrong. I ask for your among mam students, patiencc if my articles do although it is sometimes not always seem to have a found In unusual places. Of /Vfogt point. Kgbliid i out sc one can always In upcoming editions of point to those students in the Purple, Sewanee I will a ilu Student Assembly and be examining Sewanee's the Order ol the Gownsmen role as the Episcopal Uni- Bed as i ampus leaders, but i versity. How Episcopal is ;::;:: y^ My also find the Sewance p the University of the Soutl ::v .,V; ;:/.? ' Outing W ' Program to be : , What arc : < your opinions iL i '•''•'k among the i enters of leader- about the university's •v>" 'Wlv ship . able on ampus. The SOP's ' religious tics I will also I :-'•••: : ,. - ,, sti ui ture makes it an ideal looking at Sewanee angels pl.ue lor students to build student involvement in the ast and i "ui I idem c gain know * community, and Sewance , gradually take on outdoorsmen. If you wouk r< iponslbility, and assume like, you may e-mail any positions in which Ihi comments about these or de\ elOp and show |( adcr- any issues on the Dennis ft domain t Jill drcn 615-598-0770 tan 1 sg0@ seraph . sewanee. cd nr.ober30.1997 Z\)t &etoanee purple OPINION / Page 3 This Halloween, the creatures ofthe night must be tamed spooks. The Headless Gowns- day the Vice-Chancellor found coherent "nevermore." Demian Perry, Editor man, also known as the Ghost of the armor from Convocation Hall or something like that. Halloween isn't as tun as it Wyndcliff Hall, dates back to the in a pile at the base of Breslin As if this wasn't used to be. The culture of turn of the century. As the tower. On another occasion, the enough, the other night consumerism has turned what legend goes, the ghost was a whole town was awakened at I met yet another horror was once the year's most myste- student at Sewanee during the midnight when the bells in in the bathroom on the rious evening into a children's Reconstruction. One night, while Breslin Tower rung 64 times; and third floor of Quintard. Mardi-Gras of plastic masks and cramming for a test, his head on yet another occasion, After flipping the light sugar highs. became heavy with facts and fell "Horace" was seen climbing on and wiping the sleep Sadly, there is no place for the off. It has been said that the Breslin tower wearing a out of my eyes. I found college student in the modem Headless Gownsman wanders the toga.. .er... sheet. myself in a scene from version of All Soul's Eve. streets all night, unsuccessfully Next time you're skinny- The Exorcist. Some possessed soul It wasn't always that way. searching for his head. He dipping with friends and feel a poor, pea soup According to Brown Patterson. inevitably finds it by morning sharp nip in the posterior, it's had projected the tile floor, Vice-Chancellor Wiggins used to and then looses it again as soon probably the Lake Cheston all over invite students to his house (then as evening - or the weekend - Monster, another of Hollis' onto the mirror, and Fulford Hall) on Halloween to rolls around. In his preface to colorful favorites. The Lake into the trash can. ("Nellie") "Surely nothing human tell ghost stones by the fireside. Marcia Hollis' celebrated book. Cheston Monster has Imagine roasting marshmallows The Witch ofShakerag Hollow: been known to bite college girls could do this," I night. thought to myself, "and in Clement-Chen Hall; somehow Arthur Ben Chitty writes of the swimming at reprehensible. Hollis' humor is subtle, especially on a substance-free ghost-hunter knows, it wouldn't have the same je ne Headless Gownsman: "there are While As any side hall." Nonetheless, the evidence have sais quoi - don't you think? good reasons for believing that a it boldly reveals a of most haunted houses only talked there, and it unfortunately mindless But even if we can't get student stumbling in the dark was Sewanee that is seldom was room for one haunt. If creatures of remained there until Tuesday haunt our Sammy to conjure up anything tripped by him." It seems the about. Sewanee's truants continue to us. afternoon. loosing all that but himself this Halloween, we Headless Gownsman was an the night, she shows have Mountain, we risk having a good time for a For all the pranks that may built on. The can still tell some good, old active trickster this past weekend. been Sewanee was laugh have been pulled in the past, few with fashioned Sewanee ghost stories Marcia Hollis' book is full of long time. If we with Headless Gownsman is still can be characterized as vandal- packing his bags. ourselves. fun stories about Sewanee 's us. but he's - ism. Recently, however, things fun back to And there are plenty of them creatures of the night. The Witch Let's bring the is nothing have changed. Last year, Halloween - and the night - stories, that is - to fill an evening of Shakerag Hollow, for which There Sewanee's creatures of the night too late. with fun. As the November, the book is named, figures funny about before it's painted graffiti on 1892 Cap and Gown reports. prominently in most of her vandalizing a moose. the Chi Psi's "Sewanee ghost stories arc stories. (Curiously enough, rooftop. Some common, but Sewanee ghosts are Shakerag Hollow was once the Well, maybe it is a other spooks very uncommon." The discrep- place Sewanee students went to little funny. defaced the Phi ancy probably exists because purchase bootleg liquor during moose. This most ghost stories at Sewanee Prohibition). In one of her semester, some emerge not from the grave, but stories, the daughter of a previ- Hollis at the adventures of her creative goons from the bottle. ous Vice-Chancellor goes '-• smashed in the face boyfriend "ghosts" it is becau these If you have ever seen a spelunking with her stones strike a fami ar chord. of the SAE lion. silhouette stumbling awkwardly and doesn't come back for a long has new she explains All Sewanee students could Sewanee a down the sidewalk in the moon- time. On her return nocturnal her friend became probably tell some ories of their pack of light (a rare sight at Sewanee) how she and - own. \M animals, and they you may have sighted one of the lost in the witch's cave and - What distinguishes the modem obviously have no Mountain's most scholastic among other things were class. There is charmed by a snake, spooks of the Mountain from funny though "both of them those of the past, however, is that nothing vandalizing a knew that snakes rarely they have lately taken things a bit about Well, entered caves." The far. moose. dis- maybe it is a little only part of this story I have been personally actions funny. The destruc- that is unbelievable is couraged by some recent tion of one of that the Vice-Chancel- of Sewanee's creatures of the Sewanee's oldest lor believes his daugh- night. A few weeks ago. I woke to the statue, however, is ter. up at three in the morning short of Hollis also sounds of a ghastly specter. He nothing writes about a gentle was stumbling with an almost ghost named Horace in super-natural grace and staring at her story, the Ghost of me with wandering eyes. I Letter to the Editor Guerry Garth. Horace thought he looked like a friend of out during the day in mine so I called his name. sleeps Dear Editor: learn this information for response, however, was in a one of the suits of His Last Tuesday, the 7th of themselves, there were no voice that I armor in Convocation garbled and slum October, there was a Univer- reporters covering this event. before. meeting to discuss Hall, and at night he had never heard "Hey sity-wide With this type of journalism said before he issue that will affect every walks around in his tool" was all he an how will students understand student at this University, important armor. She even has disappeared back into the dark- and debate these possibly for years to come. issues? To paraphrase one >*«~fe*~~/^r^^es evidence of the ghost's ness from whence he had come. Alcohol Issues Committee y> preferred a more The attendee. "We need to be nighttime haunts. One I would have explained how they were going reading about alcohol issues in to to proceed to review and the Purple rather than the make recommendations aboul absence of Gailor mints." The Official Organ of the alcohol use and abuse at Students of the Sewanee. One of the co-chairs, David L Spaulding. Ph.D. Robert Benson, had pre- etoarce purple University of the South Dr. University Counselor pared materials to give to October 10. 1997 Purple Student Journalism representatives of the 1892 - Legacy of 105 years of Established A and the Legacy. Despite the the South ..All this topic and operated by the students of the University of importance of / apologize for not covering The Sewanee Purple is owned and staff and under the the few students attending to Issues Commit- directed by the editor in consultation with the the Alcohol editorial and financial matters are tee meeting. I must add, Publications Board and the Order of Gownsmen. authority Rranted by the University Signed edttonals represent the v.ews however, that the said the opinion of the editorial staff. Unsigned editonals represent materials were not received reflect the editonal views of the Purple. of the writer and do not necessarily Ben's Styling Purple sen to until after the deadline for and should be mailed directly to Ed.tor. Sewanee <* Utters to the editor are welcome assigning articles. This pu^ .canonof the must be rece.ved by the Tnurscfcy following the them's e -a,, address. Letters may have been due to the year of graduation (or Boutique writer's name, telephone number, and materials were previous issue and should include the fact that the The Purple rescues the „ ht Unsigned letters w,l. not be print*. Sewanee sent to the former editor. re a" swim the University). Serving errors be pruned in letters to length or poor taste. Grammatical wul In the future, all corre- not to print articles of excessive Studentsfor ten years tpondence should be ad- the editor. II ... of, any submission. dressed directly to "The final judge of the appropnatenws The editor will be the Sewanee Purple." This Trailor on Main Christk Shaver. Managing Kditor Tan Demian Perry Editor negligence does not — by Business Manager Street in Monteagle — reflect upon £m B«hMn7 News Editor Charles Beene any means Ashiey Saunders AdverUsement Manager the quality of journalism in SSEfcrWSL personnel this newspaper. The Asst. Ad Manager Experienced Editor Erik Day Roger Ha e's Arts "Gailor mint" article to Wear. just walk in or call 2+SSZZ Asst. News Editor Jurtin which "one attendee" refers Editor Enc Purser. ^^J^ 924-2358 was on the Back Page, a Nathan Erdman Asst. Sports ?*££**""" Editor KaUe Hlnes Ba k Pag part of the Purple that has Charles Fiore Asst. Arts Back Page always been reserved for Editor Beth Saer. Anya Sammler. Photo Tuesday - Saturday endeavors. available tor 515 per year. non-journalistic dunng the school year. Subscriptions are tl r d— i nr.n.Pd h,-wcckly 8 I* W„« ..,/, b 373W ,000 8AM-5PM — Ed. £*£-2 Soolb 735 „„,«„,, mm s—. TN ACUnss mewvu. , E-mail: purple® iewanee.edu 598- 1 Phone (93 1 ) 204 , r— Oclober 30 fcbe ^etunnfrgiilEll 4 /NEWS Page "real world" NOW prepares students for the News often than her male the profes- colleagues logical. A woman in lo develop experiences and confront She feels that students are by Amy Eikenberry sional world is forced to often make the transition from now. a strategics to how not respectful of her decision Not so long opposing biases: if Release world two sets of descend down into the professional she denies a request; number of us will she should be as a woman and sometimes of the goals of Foun- that our smoother. One student will either doggedly National Science the mountain, hoping how she should be as a profes- ^as to help dation Graduate Re- Sewanec have equipped the discussion persist, believing that she years at sional. will prepare students lor this transi- search Fellowships us with the necessary tools to Caplan explains eventually back down or will low In her book. tion, but a pathetically Competition Announced survive in the "real world" often respond with a negative evalua- that a professional women Science by attendance (onl> 3 college The National Perhaps we will be comforted Catch-22s of tion at die end of the term, truly. ,i .aught in the will educa- students, including yours Foundation (NSF) the thought of liberal arts of the claiming her to be most people such expectations. Some technological on assigment) means award approximately tion, our improved "unappraochable" or "intimidat- information more frustrating examples will have to get the 1,000 new Graduate skills, and our perfected ing". In the face of such include: women professionals are situa- second hand. Research Fellowships bartending hand. For some, the in the work place, considered real women if tions the panel Heck. Chair of the not (Graduate Fellowships the professional world Dr. Patricia move into have children, BUT members offered advice to department, began they do not and Minority Graduate relatively unobstructed. anthropology will be children and emerging professionals on how discussion of women who have Fellowships) to support others, however, the meeting with a For many time with to rise above the complications book,JJftin£_a devotes a great deal of graduate study in sci- success as a profes- Paula J. Caplan s achieving career generated by the cultural expec- them is said to not take her mathematics, and Ton of Feathers A WomaiLs ence, sional means much more than They emphasized seriously. A woman who speaks tations. the Guide to Survn mg '" die Aca- engineering. just finding a job. For those and does not importance of making a support World. Caplan explains up is aggressive I ( llowships arc people who find demic groups of system for yourself and to world know when to quit, but a woman awarded for graduate themselves on the margins of the that while the professional passive and support other women in turn. benefits: who remains silent is study leading to re- the professional offers a variety of status-quo, Without such systems, many master's or earn incompetent. The panel mem- search-based world presents a number of allowing someone to women are left isolated and the wield bers, which included a professor, doctoral degrees in unexpected and infintely com- respect, make money, librarian, powerless. math- their voice, an administrator, a head fields of science, plex issues. The status-quo in the power, and express relayed NOW will be sponsoring engineering difficult to and an university lawyer ematics, and United States is defined and these benefits are similar events in the future, NSF. is a their experiences in the profes- supported by the maintained by a white male achieve if that professional to raise awareness must be challeng- sional world. Many admitted hoping among Applicants perspective, and many women woman, and even more the student body. We as students nationals, or belongs lo a that they have had to deal with citizens, step blindly into this world ing if the woman consider ourselves so resident arise some of the Catch-22s described cannot far permanent unprepared to confront the minority group Difficulties Caplan's book, both in gradu- removed from such issues. Often aliens of the United complications generated by this when cultural expectations for in realize time ate school and during their we do not how our actions States at the of perspective. women clash v. ilh certain expec- contribute to the maintenance of application. Separate tations for professionals. For professional careers. "I feel that On October 1 , the National are con- definitely Catch-22s cultural stereotypes. It is impor- competitions Organization of Women (NOW) example, women as a sex are there are for Graduate being assertive and firm in tant for both men and women to ducted sponsored a panel discussion generally expected to display with Fellowships and Minor- decisions, " says Dr. Nancy take stock of how one imparts aimed at dealing with the realities certain attributes, to be nurturing, my ity Graduate Fellow- a biology professor here their biases on professional of being a professional woman. emotional, intuitive, and pas- Bemer. each with addi- explains that women and how one can manage ships, The focus of the meeting was to sively well-behaved. Profession- at Sewanee. She tional awards offered for she is for favors, such as such biases and become estab- provide a forum for women to als, on die other hand, are asked women in engineering and lished as a private and public share and learn from each others' expected to be secure, confident, extension of deadlines infor- and computer and competitive, assertive, and rearrangement of test dates, more individual. mation science. Minor- ity Graduate Fcllow- Bhips are a^ ailablt to meet with success members of ethnic Convocation and Campaign for Sewanee minority groups that traditionally have been by Yancey Norris of independent college underreprcscnted in the Jacksonville. St. Swarthmore College. On Tuesday, October education./ After earning advanced levels of the Andrew's in Panama City, Stanford University, the I 4. the University cel- his bachelor's, master's Institut Universitaire de Nation's si lence and and Holy Trinity in ebrated its second convo- doctnral degrees from and Apalachicola. He is the Hautes Etudes engineering talent pool. While cation of the year. Yale University Payne Each three-year Pel vice president of the Internationales in Geneva, the opening convocation began his career in lowship provides ,i House of Deputies, was a Switzerland, and at Cam- the University, cel- of acadcmia as a history stipend of $15,000 for member of the Presiding bridge University, where ebrated in late August, instructor at Colgate 12-month tenures, and a Bishop's Fund for World she is currently a lecturer honored the students University. He went on cost-of-edui ation allow- Relief, and served on the and director of studies in earning this gowns, most teach at ance of $9,500 per to Haverford executive council of the history. recent one honored where he also tenure yeaj College, National Episcopal Steiner, who has Sewanee's Founders and began his administrative Graduate and Minority Church. authored four books, is a four individuals to whom career as provost and < Iraduate Fellowships The fourth honorary member of the Royal the University presented arc awarded on the basis later acting president, and honorary degrees. degree recipient, Zara Historical Society. She at Hamilton College, of ability. Applications Shakow Steiner. was has received a John Norma Palteson Mills, a where he became presi- are evaluated based on awarded a Doctor of Harvard Fellowship, the community leader in dent. ill available evidence of Letters. Steiner, a promi- Cultural Chattanooga, received a European Foun- luding aca- In addition to his rich ability, ini Doctor of Civil Law. dation Award, and a demic records, recom- academic back- Mrs. Mills is a native of Simon Guggenheim Foun- mendations regarding grounds. Payne Virginia and a graduate dation Fellowship. of has received the applicant's qualifi- Dr. Payne delivered the the University of Tennes- honorary degrees i atlons, and Graduate see at Chattanooga with a Founders' Day address on Record Examination from Hamilton. degree in psychology. Tuesday. He focused on (ORB) scores. Colgate, Will- She is also a graduate of the importance of inde- The deadline for iams, and the F.ducation for Minis- pendent colleges and applying in the 1998 Amherst College. try program. universities in education miipct it ion is Novem- He currently Mills currently serves today. Specifically, he ber 6, 1997 Awards will serves as director on the board of trustees discussed the benefits of be announced in late on several for several community a liberal arts education March 1998. The NSF boards, including service organizations in According to Payne, a contracts with Oak Barnard College, Chattanooga: the AIM graduate of a liberal arts Kidgc Associated Uni- Williamstown Center (a psycho-social institution possesses the versities (ORAU) to Theatre Festival, ^ entei for the mentally and analytical and communi provide the suppoi I the National ill), the Tennessee River cation skills necessary to services lor this presti Association of Gorge Trust) the Hunter keep pace with the rap- gious fellowship pro- Independent Museum for American idly changing gram. For additional Colleges and world Art. and T.C. Thompson around him. information, contact the Universities. ' luldrcn's Hospital Foun- After NSF Graduate Research Willis Barnum Dr. Payne's ad- dation. She is also vice dress. Fellowship Program, Coker McCarty Vice Chancellor chair of The Campaign for Samuel Williamson re- ORAU. PO Box .1010. ived a degree Sewanee and co-chair of ported the Oak Ridge, TN 17831 of Doctor of the success of the Visiting f*o*o 6. Am «j Sajrvxltr Committee of Campaign for Sewanee. 3010. phone (423) 241 Divinity. A Sewanee's second convocation the School of the year of Theology, The is 4300. I in. ill graduate of the Campaign, which as well as a former mem- not until [email protected], or University with a scheduled to end ber of the Board of Re- nent authority on the First 1. December this year, 1\ (423) 241-451 I bachelor's degree in of gents World War. earned s blished in 1946, history, McCarty also has recently surpassed i' Harry Charles Payne bachelor's degrees is from In ORAU ,i consortium received his master's of goal of $92 million. was also honored with a Swarthmore College of 88 doctoral-granting divinity from the and addition to the generous Doctor of Civil Law. The Oxford University, colleges and universities University's School of donations by alumni and president of Williams master's degrees that serves the govern- Theology. from friends of the Universe College. Pa> ne. w ho Oxford and Harvard ment, acadcmia. and the McCarty, who currently Uni- Williamson pointed out prides himself on having versity, and a doctorate private sector in impor- serves as regional the large number of dona never canon left college, is one from Harvard. She has tant areas of scil for the Diocese of lions and pledges by the Ol the country's strongest taught at Vassar College, n | hnology. Florida, has held the post faculty and staff of the and most vocal supporters Princeton University, of rector at St- Mark's in University. n,iober30. 1997 ITIic ^ctoancc flurplc NEWS/ Page 5 Wimberley Womack... hopes to strengthen from page 1 University ties to . missed staff, and the Episcopal church i by the by Caroline Brooks Allin spoke. Wimberly Marriot itself is sorry to love Sewanee "i absolutely jutoi I he dioi ese ol no longer have a manager The university's new has served as a member of the and I want to do best Lexington in 1984 who was so friendly and Chancellor. Rt Rev. Don the Board of Regents job that I can do to fur- Sewanee honoi eil hospitable to students, A. Wimberly, ther its ministry Win, he ris .n 1988 with a and stall opened his first faculty, ." and mission ioraie ot Dn init) Kocnig hopes that stu meeting of As Chancel- Earlier this C8I denl i have the sense to Sewanee's Board \ lor, Wimberls \ Wimberly was one "l ignore rumors surround- Regents earlier of situation responsibilities arc se> eral nominees ai the ing WomaiA's this month. Cur- Marriot. wishes varied, though General nt ion of the With and rently the Bishop 111 at the entire ordeal largely ceremonial Episcopal Church foi of the Diocese of would "die quietly." He 1 He chairs the Bo.n d Presiding Bishop 1 pos Lexington (Ken- said thai Gailor comment of Trustees, sits as lion Icti open bj the tucky), Wimberly cards have been saturated member of the retiring Bishop Edmund was elected at the with remarks and sugges Board of Regents B TO W n ing . However, he trustees' meeting lions regarding Womack by virtue ol his lost the election this past May. and studenl I seem to be position, and aci s As for his goals during Bishop Wimberly i onecrned for their favor- voice of the his as as the term Chancellor, ite Marriot employee who is the university's bishops of the 28- Wimberly would like to always gave service with 21st Chancellor. owning dioceses of sec Sewanee strengthen a smile. Kocnig. on He was installed the university. its ties with the National behalf of Marriot, also by retiring Chan- Wimberly Church and be seen more wished to let the campus cellor Rt. Rev. was born in 1937 in as the Episcopal Univcr- know that Womack's Duncan M. Gray. Louisiana. He is Sitj "I hope to be an situation was handled While not a very professionally by married and has articulate voice for it. . . Sewanee graduate. two children. We need to raise the Marriot legal counsel and Bishop Wimberly ot Uni- Wimberly gradu- message intentionally at Involvement the has many connec- versity. In order to pro- ated from Louisi the diocesan level and tions to the uni- tect Ken Womack and his ana State Univer- support 11 versity. While in family on the mountain, sity in 1959 and Wimberly will serve a his the details concerning seminary, received his Mas- six-year term as univer- were not given. of his absence bishop Degree in sity Chancellor. ters Marriot's sympathy home diocese of 1 1 >7 1 Divinity in parallels that of the stu Louisiana, Rt. Although the university's new chancellor, Rt. Rev. Don A. from Virginia dents. "I even saw him at Rev. Girault M. Wimberley never attended Sewanee, his many lies with Theologic il Semi- Sewanee, both past and present, qualify him for hu ru Foodland last year and he univer- Purple Jones, was year term. nary. Before be- remembered my name," sity chancellor. coming bi hop, commented one Sewanee At Wimberly's institution from 1991 to 1997. "I Wimberly served churches student. Mr. Womack of the Cathedral have a real devotion to as Dean in New York, Lc lisiana, ads indeed is missed by hun- of St. John's in 1978, this place," Wimberly and Florida. He was gry Sewanee students "1 then Chancellor John. M. said. He continued, consecrated bisl,»p coad- looking for a place where work someone knows their name. Party Weekend... from page I Purple remembers^ preted as a good thing, on the Vice- because students were Chancellor 's alcohol attended to profession- research committee, ally rather than by said that he sympathizes someone else who is with the problem. "I've drunk or not getting been there.," said Pars- ' help at all. ley. "I've had alcohol Others feel that this poisoning and my stom- increase indicates a ach pumped, and it 's major problem. "Many literally the worst thing of these people were to have a one inch hose [freshman who had no stuck down your throat I for one to watch out while you 're still con- I them," said junior and scious." IGorgas proctor Alison Parsley believes that a Clyde. lot of changes should be Clyde stayed one night made concerning Party the hospital helping a Weekends, like not Itudent. She said that allowing anyone to the degree of drunken- drive and regulating the less that she witnessed amount of alcohol that 'as like nothing she had students can bring into iver seen before. parties. He bel icves Spray said that it was that students need to [problematic 10 have so know what alcohol does many people in the hos- to their own b o d ies to pital at one time, be- learn their limit. This cause some students could be done by having were so belligerent that someone tell each inter ntf/Wai>V ftf-l- they were abusive to the ested student what their nurses who and EMTs limit is when their Donned in the noble vestments of the Notre Dame academic, a were trying to help weight and other factors young, civilized, and well-rounded Sewanee gentleman sings with them. Clyde said that are considered. there was a major prob- "The problem with the his colleagues in All Saint \s Chapel. Deep inside that polished exte- lem with friends of the is drinking." sc hool not rior, however, dwells the heart of a lusty, rough-and-ready Greek sick students, them- said one sophomore. soldier yearning to put on his impenetrable armor and give a mighty selves not in a sober "The problem is stupid- Mate, in the he charges into the Trojan line. Butfear not, ladies of the standing , and that's not what yolp as i I y w ay of the medical from stu I expected Mountain, he's only practicing. staff. dents at a school the Parsley, a volunteer caliber of Sewanee." . " October 30 r lc IS-97 "fcl)C i£cij)^ c $" P Pa. „ ge 6 /SPORTS _ ft Generals Tigers trample the What ever happened Meanwhile the Tigers Generals would It ad by Sean Bowman having a field the Dale Murphy's? Sew.ir.ee gcored again offense was to The Tigers exploded Washington their next possession day versus 48- 8 on Saturday with a 1 porous defense. World marching 58 yards, and and Lee's As the Series obliteration of the Wash- quarter the dr.se With In the second got underway Don Lee Generals finishing ington and s T.gers scored Ohlmeyer, the fullback Brian Morrison alone the former Halfback Scott includ- vjr d touchdown run three touchdowns, sports executive who Matthew*, started things yardTD ing a 47 hcuds NBC's West Coast the firsi off in pass from quarter- division told entertain- quarter with a Fuller back Max ment critics in a confer- 33 yard scam- Matthews and a to ence that he hoped for a per, which took run by 66 yard TD sweep by either team so the Tigers to the John quarterback that Thursday night's three yard line Stroup. The on- "Must See TV" events On the next play slaught continued "Seinfeld" Matthews scored like and "ER" the second Sewanee in would not be interupted. and put one half, with added that he also up 6-0 (PAT was He touchdown in missed) Wash- hoped that the A&E channel would take such both the third and ington and Lee low-rated baseball away from NBC. My man, fourth quarter, on with - way to go brother. answered Morrison Don - Huctnu runs by an 80 yard drive This is exactly what baseball needs. It needs astonding pass John Strvup tkrvH i an and fullback capped off by a big giant slaps in the face. Changes need to be Craig May. 39 yard TD run made because nobody wants to watch it anymore only Sewanee Mr. Ohlmeyer by halfback (at least I don't anyway), as After the run. the punted four times (versus Hanley Sayers which put be glad to reiterate. And, the reasons not punts). would Lee up 7- Sewanee defense shut the Generals' nine Washington and to watch baseball are numerous down Washington and The Tigers (4-3) had a 6. Fortunately for is way too stinking small 1 The strike zone offense. The Gen- 641 yards of Sewanee. that was one of Lee's combined This is evidenced by the fact that the combined highlights erals (2-5) could not get offense, a season high, the very few score of games 3, 4. and 5 of this World Series anything going and only with 537 of the yards the Generals had during was 28-25. The players association basically only scored once more during coming on the ground. the game, and the decides what the strike zone should be. but time in the game the the game. continued on page 8 pitchers only make up a puny minority of the players association. So. what you get is a bunch of really great pitchers throwing at a Tough tiger defense shuts out Wesleyan strike zone the size of a pie tin while chumps Hike Albert Belle wait for something fat to tee absence of by Ryan Mahoney Despite the to describe the Tiger's off on. Ginny The Sewanee Women's star forward attitude going into the 2. It is hard to find a likeable baseball player Soccer Team, on a roll Debardeleben (due to game? In the word of these days. What happened to the Dak- after pulling out of a injury) Sewanee beat Millikan, confident." Murphy's? He did milk commercials - a portrait I -0, with a short-lived losing streak Westminster Millikan. once again of wholesomeness, a hero. I would haVe killed ted Wesleyan Col- goal scored by freshman demonstrating the skill of for his autograph. These days when approached Linda Millikan This set lege last Saturday to the the Tiger freshman class, by a ballplayer I might say, "Not only qo I not Pioneer-stomp- scored three goals; senior want your autograph, but could you please get ing tunc of 8-0. Erin Simpson also scored away from me before I get sick to my stAmach The team, once three. Ashley Stafford So many ballplayers get suspended for diugs. again with a and Lisa Jones made good beating their wives, or spitting on umpires. winning record on a goal apiece Tough There are too many grossly overpaid pricks like (ol 8-7-1 I, took Tiger defence kept the Albert Belle walking around; too many cry in out Wesleyan opposition from scoring a babies like Livan Hernandez. I found myself their final home single goal, while pulling for Cleveland in the Series simply be- game of the Sewanee's offense bagged cause Albert Belle doesn't play for them any- I 997 season. four goals per half more. this Prior to Simpson and freshman 3 One last problem, with the World Series in vic- weekend's Laurel Creek each had particular, is that the umps that work the Series tory, the Tigers one assist, while Jones are not chosen based on a merit system. Th;y traveled to and treshman Rosalie rotate every year so that every once in a while, Montana, where Stone made two each. this year for instance, you get to watch a World they tied the '" travels to Linda Millikan gm In a good kit H *••*' Sewanee next Series umpired by the absolute worst umps ir Fontbonne Col- Conway. Arkansas to play Major League Baseball. Tigers" at 7-7- lege Griffins l-l ttheir the record I), Hendrix College (Nov. 1 usually watch every pitch of the Series, but 1 going into Saturday's first tie of the season). . a team they soundly de- I couldn't bear it this time. I hale that the Freshman Kathleen game- feated last year, and will Marlins won - its so unjust. The Marlins are Schmidt scored the Perhaps the best word round out the regular exactly what expansion teams shouldn't be. Sewanee goal. On Mon- available to describe season with a Nov. 2 Florida is a team made up of players devoid of day, Sept 20. the Tigers Sewanee's 8-0 annihila- match in Memphis against loyalty that left their former teams to play for went up against tion of Wesleyan is "shut- Rhodes College, a tough Wayne Huizinga's four year old teal colored Westminster College. out " And the best word match which they hope to baseball club - mercenaries, at best. They beat win one of the oldest baseball clubs in the world. A team that hadn't won it all since 1948. And, now Huizinga's going to have to sell the tram so that he doesn't Sports Trivia go bankrupt What a joke! While, tportswrilcr (or "Red and Black" - UGA l ompilcd by Ad»m 1 What kind of wood are baseball bats made of? Let'sface it, 2. many consecutive MVP awards How whether the University of the South is in your own did Wayne Gretzky win? back yard or on the other side of the world, keeping in touch with the college student in your family is no small 3. What Notre Dame Quarterback won task. Slaying informed about Sewanee life, however, can he j the Heisman in 1956, Jim Brown's last easy as a tnp to the mailbox With year of college football? a subscnption to the Sewanee Purple, you will get the lalest news from the Mountain, a plav by-play of 4. Who holds the record for career Tiger sports, and in depth coverage of campus arts, from perfor- strikeouts? mances to painung exhibiuons So mail in the attatched stub today and sec all of what the Sewanee Purple has (o offer 5. Who is only player to be named all- * sub* n Pt"»» to .he PurpU ^loDdTlf?enclosed is JI5 pi,^S? T F" star MVP in both leagues? bepn my ,ubscrip|ion wllh ^ „ Name: Address _____^_ City, Slate: »«ia — Zip. Phone , uo«v»l JiiW^VJ ttunuion |nrj ^WMiuy Number: f | ^\ I October 30. 1997 Che spctoance purple SPORTS / Pace 7 With the rain's help, Sewanee soccer drenches their opponents Christopher R. Aikin of the game, by and other goalkeeper. Scott Coming off a disap- than a shot off the cross- Polancich once again pointing road trip in bar by Thomas More. showed off his trademark Missouri, which was Sewanee controlled the smooth ball handling, preceded by a heartbreak- play The Tigers finally slicing through waves of overtime loss at home ing broke through on a bril- Thomas More defenders Haverford. the men's liant goal by Scott lo and setting up his team- soccer team needed a big Polancich. Ry Moore sent mates with high caliber on Homecoming a heads-up boost crossing pass scoring chances, most Weekend before heading to Polancich who was left notable among them were take on two tough west to one on one with a help- Ry Moore and Jamie "The conference opponents: at less defender the top of Gun" Gannaway As the Rhodes. Hendrix and The the box Polancich faked opposing goalkeeper Tigers started the game left and then beat his inexplicably wandered out a 6-8-1 record, but with defender to the middle, of his goal, the Tigers had performed sol- a shot to- ni>< i midfieldei they sending low just missed connecting on they once again took ovei by ju idly in the SCAC. compil- wards the near corner and several crossing passes the game in the second Kevin Rivers Pol&IK t( h 3-2 record. past the goal- attack ing a opposing Polancich. himself, half. It did not lake long oni e agai n led the Before a crowd of dis- keeper to give the Tigers nicked the crossbar after for (he Tigers to reclaim hs Iceding Kv Mxxre al alumni early lead. Polancich i lie ihe box. Moxi tinguished soccer the a spectacular run from the lead. In the first top ol the .ii a and tool" a and a group of boisterous now leads team with midfield in which he beat minute. Gannaway cut bi defender students, the Tigers took ten goals on the season the lone defender on the into the Thomas More shot through a crowd in net A the rain-soaked field By the middle of the play. box, calmly and skillfully front of the against Thomas More half, the Tigers produced Despite Sewanee's chipping his seventh goal scramble ensued, and variety of scoring Rivers. \s ide ape ii foi i hi Despite the precarious a scoring chances, it was of the season over the footing, Sewanee pa- chances with the help of a Thomas More who scored wandering Thomas More rebound banged I e i he iirsi tiently set up their of- myriad of strategical the next goal. With eight goalkeeper to give the loose ball for his the early stages mistakes by the opposing 1 1 of the season Tho- fense in minutes left i n the first Tigers a 2-1 advanta s se i Mine lie er Si half, a loose ball squirted The Tigers this on mas J free just outsi de the have now OUtSCOred their thn atened the Si want i Sewanee box. \ Thomas opponents 2 1-12 in the lead aftei Rivers goal More midfielder found second hall The Tigers' next BC tion himself all alone, and For the next fifteen is a pair of conferi | Nov I sent the shot of his life minutes, the Tigers con- games Saturday into the top corner, just trolled the game, with against Hendrix in over the outstretched Freshmen Ian Scott and Conway. Arkans a a nd hands of Tiger goalkeeper Matt Lo/ier attacking Sunday Nov 2 against Rafe Mauran. From that from the flanks off of Rhodes in Memphis The point until the end of the feeds by Polancich The Tigers' final game is .ii Sunday Nov 9 first half. Thomas More Tiger defense, anchored home on ,iv .ii n si a 1 (10 |» i produced several scoring by senior Forrest ( in chances but were stone- Porterfield. coolly pov. ei t vi I Washington I I Si oui I walled by a par of acro- knocked any loose balls University batic saves by Mauran out of danger. Sewanee team. pKun tn Lm Hulrtutupn (1.63 G.A.A) finally added an insurance As has been the trend goal and effectively Polancich keeps his eye on the goal Scoll a goal ' for the Tigen^his season. ended the game on VILLAGE LIQUORS WINE & SPIRITS SHOPPE ESTABLISHED 1976 "DISCOUNTS...We Got' em!" "Make your Party Stoppe at the Village Shoppe!" Monteagle, Tennessee Smokehouse Res.urant and Foodland in theu« iv-red •—roof between— Theie log cabincaoin wimwith PRICE BY COM- WE'LL HONOR ANY ADVERTISED ADVERTISED PRICE PETITORS- CUT OUT THEIR BRING TO STORE AND Mon Thu , 8AM „1PM Fri. & Sat. 8 AM- 11 PM Closed Sundays (615) 924-2288 " . October 30. iqq-, P'""plr iTIir #>ctonncf Page 8 /SPORTS winning season football... Field Hockey to fight for a two goals and added two Kern, I from page "'•' ording to 6 In ihe regioni for the Tigers Liz Erdman i" finish BSSiStS by Nathan ...ill have field meni ihe Tig Dooley also scored in the The Sewanee Tiger pport unities, d io face Ohio win On team will begin and ided Tiger hockey ' play d .1 "" I ive players rushed '- nison. for I a • lost Great Lai Wei i ra ind Saturday the Tigers play in the Chapman get strong performances mere than 50 yards each ournameni in h close game to DcPauw Regional I goalkeeper ill k from freshman I Ibac May lead the Kern pointed to the im- 3-2 After going Columbus. Ohio on ihc , | |-3), i... n w "Cer- 1 Ij illiams Byrd team with 12 yards on ,,sh down 1-0. Erwin ; tainly we hu ' I nine carries and a touch- tied the score, how i opportunities in the down Right behind another him Seniors have to DePauw added i in le th« was Matthews, who ran goal before the end of the i. id H h experience the ball for 118 yards the on can't firsl hall, leaving Defensively we twel v e carries and a 2- halftime Tigers with a 1 roi - -Ve have make ei touchdown Morrison led but deficit. In (he second speed and stkkwork. the team in scoring, Mokie George tied with we can't maki " oi And half. touchdowns. what Kern two freshman goalkeeper the game on On the other side of the lyn who has called a "spectacular Williams hall, safety Robert " an Holley will shot George also had done a great |ob, led the team with 14 'his assist and led the team in h.i s c i" play ••'I with goals tackles, linebacker kend." Kern said points with three However Jon Trussler right behind also pointed to the and 10 assists Kern him with 13 broke the tie and impoi lance of sophomore DePauw It was the first win for the game ended with a 3-2 Dervla De lanes at the Sewanee over Washington »/•>. ».«."! victory "We /*»»>*> l." right wing position. "I DePauw . , hi,,, aflei a %reatpla) and Lee since 1993, and dominated offensively, we i well," i ns to play the most points the Tigers it We s t couldn't put in Kern added. I u have scored since a 53-6 weekenJ the Tigers haven't been able to campus of Kenyon Col- portance ol this Last win over Fisk University ihe KIT finish scoring opportuni- will tounrament. "We have to split games Di lege The Tigers in 1 983. This coming in the ties," Kern said Despite with win al least one game to Tournament, . nwr regional action Saturday, the Tigers go last Friday, the semifinal loss Kern have a winning season quarterfinals .1 7-6 ret ord after split- away to try to continue was "very pleased" with the We've always had a win- the Tigers rolled, whip- ting B pail "f games q| their success against said. ping Transyls mia 5-0. her team's performance KIT Tournament Oct 24- ning season," Kern foe Millsaps Col- played as well as we SCAC to be successful, Kristen Morn sey scored "We 25 In order lege. "> have all year I'm com- .. i. .. i .. i . 1 1- • „ i ., . ., i „ Sewanee Shorts AND ONLY THEMATCHMAKERONE Beverly Hodgson, Matthew Wright and Kate Elkins (Left to Right) enjoy the Tiger football team's stunning ( victory over W< L. Players and spectators took pride in alike WHAT IS THE MEDIA Sewanee sports as they SAYING ABOUT ORLY? witnessed the cremation The Phil Donahue Shore "Orly Is a unique personal matchmaker. of one of the S oath's most Ron Reagan Show ." formidable teams. After a "Orly, born a matchmaker. . Sally Jesse Rafael Show rough start this season, ." "Orly's service is designed for the professionals. . the Tigerfootball team AM Los Angeles Show "two of Orly's clients were married live on the turned things around on show. . .The wedding of the year" Saturday morning and Eyewitness News (ABC) "Orly, world renowned matchmaker..." sent everyone home with KTLA Morning News a smile. Everyone, that "Orly, matchmaker in action. .." Jewish T.V. Network is, but the marble-faced "Orly is a real marriage broker. . Generals. Montel Williams Show "Orly's clients are the cream de la cream " AM Philadelphia Show "Orly's clients are simply top of the line. Cleveland Tonight Show "Orly, a touch of class. Orange County News Channel "Orly Ls champagne wishes. AM Northwest Show, Oregon "Orly the one and only matchmaker. Good Evening Seattle Show "Orly is an investment in your future " The Dlml Petty Show, Canada "Orly lias a sixth sense... National Enquirer "Orly has a dream date for you ... Orange County Register "Orly has a match for the sincere singles " The Heritage Weekly "Orly is nationally and internationally known " Los Angeles Times "Orly matches the rich and successful " pallas Morning Newspaper "Orly made countless introductions " Beverly Hills Today -Orly is the Rolls Royce of matchmaking. " KFI Talk Radio "Orly a Chi Psi Jamie McGregor escorts Sewancc's • ^chmaker with a sixth sense. .." WLAC Nashville Radio homecomeing beauty, Elizabeth "Orly is a - Megorden celebrity matchma^r . onto the . football field. These two crowd-pleasers were the highlight of the halftime show last Saturday. FREE «»MIM IINIMIOXI <<>NS1 | IMION (510> 659-7337 • lleverlv Hill* B October 30. 1997 (The finance fiurplc ARTS/ Page 9 Movie Reviews: Sewanee's own Siskel tells it all 10/31-1 1/5 2 & 7 After Big Mama, the ( I aimed bestseller by Jane one promises to be good. IN THE COMPANY OF family matriarch, is hos- Smil Fri -Sal. 7 • Sun. 2 & 7 (R) pitalised, the family quits MEN A THOUSAND ACRES Fn 9 • Sat. 9 & II • Sun. This film is a disturbing (PG-13) eating Sunday dinners 9 • M-W 7:30 SOUL FOOD (R) black comedy in which lessica together From there, the Lange. Michelle The surprise hit of the two young, white collar family 'j bonds seem to Pfeiffer and Jcnnit 11/7-11/12 season. Soul Food cost a execs conspire to totally Jason limply disintegrate. The Leigh Mar in this SHALL WE DANCE? mere $7 million to make, humiliate a complete soul food that they have kind of modern -Jay King (PG) but has already made stranger. They come up been eating for all of Lear It tells the talc of I ii si in time for the Moun- more than $30 million with a sinister plan to these years provides three daugh- lain Top Ball, Opening the same week- for the find a young woman ters who are this film is the exactly that- food end as The Peacemaker , it susceptible enough to soul During these din- set to receive story of a missed the number one allow both men to date ners, the family is given equal parts of Japanese busi- spot at the box office by her. Then they plan to the opportunity to talk Dear Old nessman who less than one million. dash her hopes and, and bond with one an- Dad's pros- re-invigorates That's a pretty incredible "she'll be reaching for other. After the dinners perous farm- his life by feat. Produced by argu- sleeping pills are gone, however, the the within a land As the learning to ably one of the best family members are left week." This "fral boy" land deal dance. He singer-writer-producers of quickly with a hunger for some- prank becomes proceeds, originally the century, Kenny thing more than food. Go too serious, with a several fam- signs up for "Babyface" Edmonds, this watch it struggle between the two ily secrets the course in film explores the power Fri. -Sat. 9 15 & 11:30 friends at the heart of the come to light an attempt to of food in furthering • Sun 9:15 • M-W 7:30 battle. The woman is only The film gain the atten- family relationships. a means. to an end, a pawn explores the tion of a easily captured and tossed way in which these woman he has fallen for. aside in this pernicious women deal with the but soon realizes that he 1 duel. This film caused a secrets, betrayals, and loves to dance. Shall We Demasiado... from page huge controversy at deep-rooted animosity the Dam e? is currently the drunk Saturday-night- Sundance, and was widely Family has. By the end of highest-grossing Japanese complete musical and draws in-Sewanee crowd was debated over this past the novel, all of the film ever shown in iniensilyDemasiado drawn away leaving a summer due to the fact family's skeletons have America. It is also one of its influence. When asked about the idea relaxing and fulfilling that it is so disturbing. come out of the closet; no the top-grossing foreign group's music, night of entertainment There are some truly stone has been left language films ever behind the Holt, the band's That's not to say the shocking scenes in this unturned Oscar-winner shown here. Wiih two Warren musical crowd that attended movie that will leave the Lange has received excel- such distinguishing fac- guitarist and cooridinator relates the wasn't wrapped up in the audience with a bad taste lent reviews and Pfeiffer tors, it makes sense that general concept behind experience of seeing in their mouth. But isn't also turns in a phenom- this film must have some- fusion as a whole: "We Sewanee's own perform that what a good movie enal performance. A thing good in it Other- use jazz and rock struc- music that sounded like the sometimes does? Thousand Acres is based wise, why have so many vehicle for music of a professional • • people watched it? This tures as the Fri 7 & I I Sat. 7 Sun. on the critically ac- group improvisation. band. After the band When we play each mem- sifted back into the main ber is constantly intro- musical theme of "Sur- ducing and reacting to prise Surprise" following new ideas and pushing the a sojourn into an intense Gerald Kelly gets Sewanee rolling other band members fur- drum solo, and a section ther " In fact, even the of improvised "spacey" name itself points to this feedback and free-form one of the worst style of comedy, By: Raegan Payne had been idea. Demasiado roughly music, many cheers entire life He was throughout the Because of of his translates into "too erupted from the enrap- apparently given a rotten evening Kelly would Sewanee's remote much," or "in excess." tured audience. Ben take long pauses of location the room at Rebel's Rest, and Some highlights from Roosevelt concluded that University does not got unsatisfactory service silence Sometimes were pleased to have October 1 1 th's perfor- "We these silences would regularly experience at other Monteagle Ho- mance: the band opened a nice crowd response tins somewhat follow important mes- any diverse culture. tels. After with an old time favorite which we didn't really As an example: However Sewanee rocky start he relaxed and sages. from "The Sound of Mu- expect." And further- faster men should treat was slapped with the jokes became sic" entitled "My Favorite- more. "I had on latex women with culture Friday Things. " John Coltrane pants respect The is October 10 in first jazzed this tune up All in all, Demasiado audience would Convocation using acoustic instru- a fresh musical experi- fall into complete Hall. That's ments in the 60s. but ence on the Mountain and silence and he when the Demasiado adapts it to I highly recommend it would have to University their own musical style. Especially when one takes bring them back community This song was followed into account that this into their amused experienced the by another cover song band is far better than state These "real" comedy written by the infamous many of the bands that silences, though of Gerald Kelly. Tom Waits called "Jockey the University and frater- awkward barely Kelly is a Full of Bourbon." nities shell out thousands effected his gen- veteran of Demasiado payed consid- of dollars for every erally fu nny comedy shows erable homage to the oh- month. Once again. routine like Def so-influential Miles Davis Sewanee's own students At the end of Comedy Jam by performing a rendition show that real music is the even mg, and Showtime of the artist's traditional not beyond their own Kelly played an " at the Apollo. jazz piece "So What talents and aspirations alphabei game Kelly per- While the group covered Demasiado played again which pitted the formed in front ol many songs, their on October 25 at the men against the repcrtoir is composed of Sigma Nu house While a packed house, From women the was equally as in fact it was one many originals such as music observi g this comedian Gerald K. H and inspired good as it was on the of the largest fj the energetic lively g mc it audiences a co- "Surprise Surprise" which I I th, the experience of was c\ ' dent thai work median has re- includes a wandering seeing the band students ol and wittier His comedy (he together as a |a// en- ceived at Sewanee midsection where the based, it Sewanee nee to prac- Organizers were pleas- was not story band took a turn into semble was mitigated linei tice their alphabet. involved quick one S given the fact that it was antly surprised by the unexplored and impro- After the show, \ arious aspects of there- of people that about vised musical territory Party Weekend and number oi "I' pn-.ll I \ C i showed up Kelly everyday life Also in the list of origi- were many distractions the performance Kelly's sul)|i i ranged about for both the band and the warmed up to his nal are: "Blue Eyes." a filled Convocation hour from growing up poor in beautiful instru menial audience Demasiado 's audience as his 2 evening to the sex Hall A long next scheduled gig will be comedy routine contin- the inner-city piece, a song that fol- women. with comedian Gerald lives of men and of j November 1 I th at the ued. The time was a lows the tradition Kelly turned >ut to be By using these broad vocalists like Billy Holi- Lambda Chi house and little too long but enlighten- he touched on hilariously promises to be another people were free to topics day entitled "Will You his ing Kelly's next familiar subjects with Still Love Me;" and rewarding show If you leave if they wanted — projec is are two mov- audience By obs< i "»g another instrumental work don't come, you'll miss with only minor teas- L.L. i one with Cool the laughter, one could called "Don't Even " out on something that ing from Kelly anotbei with ,,. jokes hit clo J and his 1 1 which The show itself came Sewanee students don't Kelly started supermodel Tyra to home The audience off very well. Since it normally get to behold show by telling a Stor) seemed to really enjoy his Bank' place on the same complicated and fascinat- about how his experi- took night as the Rebirth Brass ing music from the fin- ence on the Mountain Band most of the rowdy gertips of their peers October 30 ~i^ Crje &?hiancg ff urplc Page 10 /ARTS Cecilia satisfies the Step show Purple Review: St. masses in Concertfor the steps up by. Joe Land Time production The Fifth Annual Greek Mountain End of Step Cold Show will take place Saturday Weimer November 8. 1997 at 7: 15 by: Brian* von p.m. ln point of the Sabbath morning preserve herself in (he The Society of St Cecilia tic Lower Cravens. A campus-wide for service. video depleted and unstable garnered a large audience parly (with DJ) will irnmedi- part of the program of the The third follow the South In exchange Ida their second concert ately event. This year's the least popular of the Blair Chamber seemed Step Show promises to be icl Is Ruby in Classic season. The the Olivier Messiaen's their Concert three. biggest evenl (next lo the lucraturc in the evenings Players performed Moun- Pour La Fin Du Temps , Time on October Quaiuor tain Top Ball, of course) following their labor for the End of that the a composition will see this uses 7. a program campus semester OL intensive days, Fra^icr with eight dedicated to works already has more participants than jnorancc of farm-lilc distinct move- by ihosc who in any other previous year. as an excuse to explain, in ments was suffered through For those who don't know, a MOUNTAIN studied detail, the workings performed. and endured World Step Show is an event in which i i 19 century farm The Messiaen, a War II. Such a different African-American home proud plot of Ida and medical auxiliary program evidently fraternities and sororities compete A N OVI i Ruby contrasts brilliantly in the French held great interest for prizes on their rhythmic dance/ hard fought army, wrote wiih the for many in "stomp" abilities. Each fraternity/ Quaiuor while journey plot of Inman so Sewanee. since St. sorority has their own, original in a their was imprisoned that the anticipation of Luke's Hall step, which is a form of traditional German Stalag reunion becomes tremen- completely filled African dance, which has been and it was dous some time before modified for each individual time concert However, not performed there for Ihc first The novel, though sei in the began fraternity/sorority. li \ / l nils P concert wiih a in January of 1941. Described by everyone left the is no cover the Civil war era. is not a There charge for the what they Fletcher Moore as "very abstract sense of having heard Step Show, but we do encourage piece on the war but. rather, it is by Roger Haile», Arta editor had expected. and cerebral" in nature, Quaiuor you to bring canned goods to aboul one man's journey to be was divided into uses unusual rhythms to "stretch Wiih ihc current app* lid The program donated to the community. ivei himself in a war-ravaged three parts many believed oul or in some way alicr the ' and turning pop "" " i world The South that Inman that the first pari held the most perception of time." Though refreshing to ice the release of not travels through is the planta- charm and appeal Soprano Amy admittedly powerful, these high qualil) and terioui fit nun sl.nc owning hut the B2 • ATA tion, South I. ii in. in and her accompanist Amy untradmonal rhythms and lack of Charles Fra/icr's Cold Moun- mountainous South. He finds Dorfman performed works by a defined melody had much more ATQ • A l raziei s ability to recreate the meticulous and well thought n iiural settings that Inman r<-\ i-.i i novel, and d i a< h i hapti red is nothing short of up to 20 limes I In i, nil i inspiring Frazier spent weeks well-crafted pi Civil Wei hiking Inman's trail era Hi tion thai LATE NIGHT AT the Q so the details of lores the landscape (hat the [ing effects narrator notes have ili.il war has mi an intimate and well individuals studied feel. Frazicr instead "i jusi the DOMAIN DELIVERY often quotes the ii effet i lias thi naturalist William > ountry Bartram's Travels, I 1.1/ U I f as n is the literature born and raised that Inman carries in the mountains 7 Daye a Week along The author ol North I aro also carefully lina, ami it is in &:00 p.m.-Midnight researched the theii both \uuioi ( hai history in the pi at eful and homi on his ram 'i with hit university sublime land dog libraries of Duke and Chapel Free delivery ii . to apl thai the Sewanee campus and immediate residential areas Hill as well BS various 1 small takes plat i In the ilarl ol libraries when: he studied the Student and Faculty/Administration the hook we find out main old charges accepted minis i histories So much of the charai lei Inman, « iih a gruc book displays the difficulties of some and neai fatal net k wound, common day tasks, such as eating surrounded by like horroi in a and finding shelter or water, tasks Available Confederate hospital He det ides Delivery Menu in thai today we take lor granted ihui has iei ii i jgh ol the i'i iei takes every step lo h ol a wai ih. H hi • not Pizza Calzonee • B>readeticke deliver the reader 10 Inman's sure why In i. fighting so hi rugged world I lu plo| mil,, Ids on his Laeaqna • Faeta £>a\ade • Cold Mountain is ., must-read Deeeerte treachi rous journey bni k to ins iny 1 on< who appreciates old M n. on and his " hern literature Bottled Soft Drinks i. and I would & love Inti si Ida Monroe Fruitopia ;ly recommend ii I to he i hapu rs altern n Inman *ho dmi i li is a fai cry 1 "in other 1 Civil war novels such and Ida i tribulations in us Gone with the Wind or The maintaining hi ,i father's Unsanuuishcd. and has been form While he is hardened by th the wai ami n urately described as the rj South American idnunc Odyjw\ lln.se though whii h in musi trav< rsc. who find i Ida is aulknei too hea> j handed transformed from I should inn bi formei aristoi ratii an d iway foi afe lifesty le I ii is n al fii Hon H is also n ihc O abandoned real entertainment Anyone who farm Both i h u u icrs .in brilliantly and themselves seeking for something bettei hose evci irns i an relate to Cold 596-1595 foi i beliei limn, Mountain Go read the book and you will Ida i- dist iplined in have III, opportunity iuffi< lency by s formei slave to catch a great called Ruby Ruby tuthoi in ihc beginning ol a Minimum hard working brillian! career $5.00 n delivery order motivation thai Id i n 1 October 30, 1997 CChc #»fU)nncc purple ART9 Page 1 Everclear's new CD is clearly glowing Everclear: So Much For to the keyboards, vocals (in popular definitions ol Definiti ing God h recalls a the Afterglow the c.is. ,.i Montoya and normality, popular:; outta them loud few good Pearl Jam b- 1997; Capitol) (Oct.7, Eklund) and .it least one government, love, and sub all rich sides, and the haunting other, kid im BMW | .,1, more unusual instru- well, load of I ment (slide whistle and things make for great ought to send the gang! fomia King" (not the by Ryan Mahoney, staff mandolin, anyone?); yet (though sure-as-hell not rappas packing, at lea mattress) round out Everclear's latest these additions mere!) easy) listening. Yeah, Or. il . u less like Ah. yes, and release, So Much Foi enhance the Everclear expect a few comparisons me. you can always plug all those with half a the Afterglow, yourself into \ « .head's O.K. < brain should be able to comes pound- puter. Oregon ni Discman . find the Chnstm ing on the sounded this good "Amphetamine (yeah, like Southpai heels of their nitely scores deep with its - "Ataraxia," a "media hidden song notice I 1995 debut commentary on teei - track of its own leads into didn I rack" album. Sparkle the up-and-down, si love and thai crazy beliel after the final cut aboul and Fade. punkish "Normal Like thai e> erj thing v\ ill re- four minutes in. ' Afterglow You/' a track which ben- solve itseit Kinda like the All in all, Afterglow tracks like it should pro\ efits from guest musician drug, e pun es a worthy "Everything Visit Rami Jaffce's vox organ popular for a spell. sor to Sparkle and Fade. Everyone", to (also to be heard on the ing stringwprk talent onlj Full ot powerful and already popu- following cut, "1 Will Buy -'-•makesuWtteT. Doo-'t moving songs, high- with anti- lar the You a New Life"). Like accuse me ol being instrumental'. music, masses (how O.K Computer's hitter, popular though. and themes common to friggin' I his tra< k glows v, ith all Happier", though a bit l< ex-su id nada- ironic!), are ol .Alter psychedelic, "Ataraxia" manner good sh*1 SUrferS alike, it man- sure to be (which refers. Humanities all, it you like a song, don I .rye ,o, it followed by kids, to the Greek Skeptics' be afraid to : a\ he Everclear's niche future hits equation of argument and something by Nirvana or among the greal like "I Will counter-argument) pro- \ our local 9ka hand band from that go 1 a log roi ks ) Buy You vides a potent context foi stair oi ( Oregon. At the New Life" the selt-explan itory "(1 My personal In oi it© Or sami il I w and "Am- trademark sound. Don't Wanna Be) Normal the album, Everclear's mush to a phetamine." Everclear The album opens to the Like You." "I Will Buy Vm ised to name them widei fan base than in has enjoyed quite a bit rousing tune of the title a New Life," a potential would be "White Men ever before, which is of radio time before track (same as album); a mass-hit, share- some of Black suits" and "Sunflow- certain!) no bad thing. is with their smash hit compilation of "Ahs" and the characteristics of two ers." I he formei any- Those prei lous few of "Santa Monica," off "Mms" which give way get-ya-up-in-tli -morning thing bul rat ist. as the you OUt there who biased might claim the title Sparkle and Fade, and after about forty seconds to tracks off Span le and con >ii ler yourseh es implies, listen it while their latest a pure-cut power riff and, Fade. "Heroin i ,irl" and to your- diehard Everclear tans definitely compilation may seem well, a song about Susan. "Heartspark D llarsign." self The latter might wanl idei appeals to me Irish suit a little nuts to the The current favorite "Ev- Perhaps it woi d be better tripping dow n to At- untunedrfar, anyo erything to Everyone" called "Mone\ .Can't Buy lanta on with a penchant for follows, punctuated nicely MeSh/t"? inber 18 post adolescent angst by Eklund's drum work. Unlike Sparkle and Fade's the anthems and high OK, so Montoya borrowed pick-me-up songs that band live at energy riffs is sure to the bassline from never made it to the big- the ( otton get a pleasurable kick Nirvana's "Smells Like time ("You Make Me Feel Club. in the face out of Teen Spirit." So what' It's Like a Whore," "Sparkle Everclear will Afterglow. a damn fine rendition. and Fade," and "My also be play- i "I Like Sparkle and Afterglow is definitely Sexual Life"), Afterglow's ing the Fade, So Much For the more accessible to the energy-packed "Father of lowing daj al Afterglow is the brain- masses than its predeces- Mine" may just become a the )28 Per- child of lead singer sor, while retaining the hit Said to he based on formance and guitarist Art original style and depth of Alexakis' memories of his Hall in Nash- ville (a Alexakis. Ever fond of Sparkle and Fade. I mean, father (divorced from his tad conve- putting his own expe- hell, have you ever heard a mother early in his life), it more riences to music (and cut off Sparkle and Fade speaks softly, with loud nient), and who the hell isn't?), he played on the radio other meaning, for all with i on the leads the three-man than "Santa Monica"? simil^ftgjjgTf-'nences. "One 20th in Meru- the Portland band in a Exactly. And that's fust to Hit Wonder which fea phis al not to mention some of my medley of 70" s retro appeal to the Billy Joel tures visiting hornwork NewTJaisy Theatre, high school experiencea - hooks and smashing- lovers out there. Don't get from Buddy s chnaub And, for previews of vbe you'll find bil up-your-gucci-little- me wrong, Sparkle and (trombone) Derron Nuhfer a "ncert 1 in it, too. As an - yourself piggy vocals. Yes, Fade's a great album, but it (saxophone • and Neal infoi mation and pi 1 aspiring musician, I on. Radiohead fans, the lacked even a smattering of Avron (trim pet), is a i he< k oul their offii lal wrote a very similaj •<>ng two have played popular applause-garner- catchy turn . hich should website al http:// (anothei reason [like it) together. Craig ing song sary to Have the good foi tune not www hhertv-lylo.com/ bul don't ask me to pi' Montoya plays bass, propel a record into the to live up to ts name. I- ar html. as i ii.u mi toui tied a and Greg Eklund public eye. Everclear .sole instru guitar m ovei a yeai drums and percusses. You've got to hand it to mental cut Afterglow is i lighter, 1 he meli l I Each member also Alexakis. His subtle, the pulse i nping "Why I i lon'l Believe In now brings his skills inoffensive attacks on Distortod. 'lodi. ' ic= K. 103 2nd Aven i NW Winchester Dine in take out Catering for all occasions Nightly Dinner Specials CZDCD GDC3 Open from 9 am to 5pm on Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday Wednesday - Frida> open 9 am to 7 pm. October 30 ion-, Che g>etoance gurple Page 12 /BACK PAGE Halloween Around the World Morefun than smashin 'pumpkins to do on the Domain appeared at the pearly What to do when theirs nothing they were both gates. St. p Mexico Jack noticed that e(ef apple tree, told him that there was no place 'he standing beneath a large for In Mexico ihc people celebrate poinds said, him in heaven. With nowhere else rich with I'm 1 1 Jack t at "Day of the Dead' on November Atlanta on November 7 respected a go Jack decided to visit hell Special Sauce "Being BS famous and When G Love and 2nd, coinciding with the Christian like to he arrived at the gates to the the Roxy. 8:00pm. as yourself. I would cursed Calch them in Nashville on holiday. All Souls day Cands is Cieature unfortunately abyss, Satan turned him away, offer an apple, but sold in shapes of skulls and you October 31 for a Halloween reminding him of their deal. they arc too high for me 10 reach. If "Go Jackoplerce skeletons Bread is baked also Perfor- away you foul man", cried ireat, 8:00pm at 328 would be so kind as to climb up Satan, the lyrics depicting symbols of the dead. you These guys have "Your evil soul stinks too shoulders 1*11 support you so bad even mance Hall. Peasant women flock to the on my captivate "Well where and the voices to help yourself." for hell!" do I supposed cathedrals to light candles in that you can you on November 15 at the to go?" asked Jack. "Go back to Sarah McLachlan memory of (he dead a Kerry where they are used to you ", 328 Performance Hall in The Devil could not resist stealing can listen to Sarah's said. You few apples and so he accepted Jack's the Devil Jack looked around Nashville. 8:00pm. Scotland sweet sounds in Nashville climbed up the man's back to him and peered into the darkness. An old Scottish rradiuon is to offer and greedily "Now how's a soul supposed to find on November 4, 8:00pm at write the name of each family the first limb. As Satan Operation Smile Celebrity his way around here with Ryman Auditorium member on a stone The stones are collected a couple of NO LIGHT?" The Concert then placed in a pile and a fire is the largest and Devil picked reddest apples. up an featuring LeAnn Rimes, built upon them. The family Mac ember from the Fleetwood reminiscing Jack pulled his Peter spends the evening Larry Carlton. floor of hell and The gang's hack together about the dear departed. The next pockelknifc Frampton, The Mavericks. from his pocket through it into a again and charming audi- morning, alter ihe fire has burned pumpkin. Michael for and carved a "Here, use ences everywhere with their Lila McCann, itself out, the family searches in tmnk this for a lantern you McDonald. Lorrie Morgan the stones. If a stone can not be cross the unique style. Don't miss omelcss creep!", found than the person whose of the tree, -When he Olivia Newton-John, The ihcui playing in Nashville mted. From that day name it bore will die before the he was Imwhcd he Raybon Brothers, and forward Jack has been on November 6, 8:00pm at next Halloween. lept away from the forced If you like coun- Devil, leaving him swinging above. to roam Ihe swamps and bogs and the Nashville Arena. Wynonna. parts try, you won't want to miss Ireland unable to descend past the symbol of other desolate of the earth Although Ireland can hoist to be the Saviour searching for a place lo rest his soul Green Day this extravaganza. Novem- the birthplace of Hallow.cn, the If you look into a swamp at night you ber 17 at the Grand Ole If you didn't get enough of old agrarian traditions of yester- "Destroy thai blasted picture or I shall can sometimes see the ecne light of 1 " them the first time around, Opry House. 7:00pm. year arc quickly being rolaced sec your soul burn in hell bellowed JACK O'LANTERN. with American style customs. the Beast. you can still see them in In some of the rural areas of Ireland, Today, children around the United bonfires are still In 10 wud off "It seems to me that you've been Stales spend hours carving spooky Gory Goodies for the holiday evil spirits. Until recently, some planning on seeing me in hell anyway, faces into pumpkins to create their men would parade injes through your honor." Jack retorted. "Very own Jack O'Lanterns. Eyeballs Toss butler Strained with; 2 T or margenng the countryside wuh bur ung well", Ihe Devil said, "If you let me 6 eggs, hardcooked, cooled, and and I 1/2 cups grated process torches, threatening anyresidcni down I will let you live another twenty England peeled cheese 01 wilchcs. The most famous Irish years." "No deal", returned Jack, "I'll The night of the dead was called (< ox winpptd cream cheese cheddai remnant of Halloween however is let you down if you promise never to Snap Apple Night in merry old 12 green olives Muffed with pimicn- Place in greased casserole, " the Jack O' Lantern bring me to hell The Devil's face England. Like Ireland, many of the toi Dirt: 2 slices whole wheat bread, contorted in anger but he knew that he old English customs are being Red food coloring or ketchup lo.Lsicd. crumbled into liny crumbs, Jack was a cantankerous, obnox- had met his match in evil and finally replaced by American versions. Half eggs widthwisc Remove yolks I I ious, old. coot who was jishkcd agreed to Jack's deal. English families would spend the and Fill the hole with cream cho butler or margenne, melted and 1/4 throughout the entire cojniy of nighl bobbing for apples and smoothing surface as much as tsp sail Kerry. He was selfish and mean Well, Jack had led a very nasty life, swapping stories around the fire The possible Press an olive into each Mn din mgredienLs together, and as stingy as Scrooge One filled with drinking, and smoking, and poor and homeless would beg dooi- m cheese sprinkle ovei worms. night, as he was returning from debauchery. Within a month of lo-door . blessing the generous • v. l '.ill, pimicntoup, lor an ccne Place undei broiler for s minutes. the village pub. vho should he sparring with the Devil, Jack died of families and cursing the stingy. I .indrcd pupil Dip a encounter but ihe Devil himself! natural causes. When Jack's soul ilipick Stained G lass Cookies into ketchup and draw broken blood Wilton makes 2 different jack l in the cream cheese lantern CC-okJC cullers, one smiling A poem based on E.A.Poe's The Raven. and one Chuckic's Upchuck nui lake ciiher or both, and make Abort, Retry, Ignore? 2 teaspoons of builcr 01 maii-crinc you favc sugar COOkie recipe. Be Letterman's 2 medium onions chopped sure to 16 ounces ol i ream style torn color n orange! "10 Signs By Anonymous Make iiu ili ii iln holes arc cleared out when you cut out your pump- kins Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, Before baking, enish You're at a yellow hard System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor. candies (by hand 01 with coffee Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets. bean Having reached Bad the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer life grinder- savers work well), and I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store. fill the eye & mouth holes with the Only this and nothing more. crushed candy. Bake js directed, and you will end Hallow- Deep into ihe monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring. fearing. Up with a very pretty stained glass Doubting, while ihe disk kept churning, turning yei to churn some more. effect, .uid delicious cookies! But een Party" the sllenccMas unbroken, and the stillness gave no token. "Save!" I said, "You cursed motherl Save my data from before?* 2-10 ounce cans of cream of mush- Bnnn Dip One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more. room toup 1 whole cauliflower As presented on ihe 10/3 1/94 Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore 2 cups milk I tub Trader Joe Spinach and Water broadcast of LATE SHOW with Whatevei leftovei vegetables you i h -nun dip DAVIDLETTEKMAN Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal ' intrusion? huvc in the irnii" ii"m iioi . green radishes These were choices undesired, ones I'd never beans, raw faced before assorted vegetables, crackers Carefully I Jack-OLaniem looks suspi- I weighed the choices as the disk made Mushrooms, cauliflower, etc) tor dipping impish noises ( iously like the neighborhood The cursor Hashed, insistent, waning, Saute onions in the builcr Add bailing me to type some more. Cui florets from the top of the mailman's Clearly I mus. bead press a key. choosing one and w rything elsi and bring it to nothing more a boil • auliflowei until you have a 2. A guy from Domino's delivers >From "Abort. Retry. Ignore?" Simmei S minutes, Si cauliflower a pizza immcdiatelu — and wins best costume with a barl bagol bowl' Remove greens Irom 3. Shirtless Ed \sncr walking With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bottom (. ui items from radishes, bending around as Longing for a happy The Wolfman" ending, hoping all would I' in the root. be restored 4 You sec the ng for some Gnuilcd Wilchcs Fingers guy dressed as guarantee, timidly, I pressed removi .km Using toothpicks and a key President Clinton Bui on the screen there i i coming out of still vegoil I"". persisted words appearing i coloring, dram an as before. eyeball on the •i bedroom b" n boneless chicken kCd ' aUmCd bn the flat " "* haUn,Cd m - wore, ' * * HtfS with your bayingSav'm Abort,! Retry./ , I Hour wife. T Ignore?" CUP p. ui ol the radish (where the top 5 rhey're I egg. beaten serving haunted i he rool will look iik, the pancakes I tried to catch i'i (video tape of Lctterman .he chips i nimbs „„ guwd. and Optii pressed again but twice as hard with floating I pleaded w,,h Pitted black olives, the cursed machine: halved length nerve Pill cauliflower I begged and cried with dip, IThen TsvTreSW ° re " pancakes] Now in mighiy desperation. garnish with radish random 'eyes . serve ^ Hiere Shredded 6 So called ghost, just the old SU1I came the ^^ lettuci mcantat with jus, as senseless as before guy, Irom ihe l-800-COLLECT kic sheet with oil veggii commercials Carelullj cut chicken breasts partwaj 7. You say nice crazy dwarf unoul will costume" to a he says pan be the palm ol tin guy and hand) Shoe "I'm Ross them a little crooked foi Perot, Ousi in flOUI >lip in egg, you bastard!" • oai in 8 Some chemical in all that bread crumbs, broil 5 ml green ink turns a each tide til golden and cooked you mto crazy through little Mm the dps with the olive fingcrruiiv chipmunk and lervc on lettuce like Ross PeiDI 9 A * "man dressed as Lorena Bobbin Wwim ,iu (miiio mistakes you for a guy dressed s ' os "*" Worth as a-,,,, ih, ' w "' * s,ored ' rjlced «s ,„ ; , „ri it ' "" h , " John Bobbin ipagheiti, broken intosbon L -"" 10 Hey v„o *•"»>»-»« Chester — those am i „,„ I. ^ *«* ;a , K ;;;, ; and) corns'