the Rice Thresher Vol. XCI, Issue No. 9 SINCE 1916 Friday, October 24, 2003 Owls will enter C-USA by Mark Berenson and Jonathan Yardley the part of coaches and student-athletes in THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF terms of time away from Rice and missed classes," May said. President Malcolm Gillis announced Fri- Gillis said one advantage of C-USA is that day that Rice has accepted a formal offer to Rice teams can travel to four of the five other join Conference USA and be part of a six- schools in the Western Division by bus. Gillis school Western Division. The agreement is and May also said they were looking forward contingent upon two current C-USA schools to the renewal of conference rivalries. Both joining the Big East Conference. factors should increase attendance at Rice The Big East is expected to offer member- games, whether home or away. ship to four C-USA schools after its November "We especially welcome the opportunity to meetings. Rice will begin C-^SA play in the renew old Southwest Conference rivalries with fall of 2005 in a division that includes current TCU and University of Houston," Gillis said in C-USA members Texas Christian University, a statement Friday. Rice was part of the SWC Tulane University and the University of Hous- from 1914 until it disbanded in 1996. ton. Current Western Athletic Conference May said he expects the new C-USA to be members Southern Methodist University and the best conference outside of the six power the University of Tulsa will also be in the conferences that make up the Bowl Champi- division. SMU and Tulsa joined Rice Friday in onship Series in football. announcing tentative agreements with C-USA. "It's great to be a part of that," May said. "I Rice Athletic Director Bobby May (Will think the reconfigured Conference USA will UART SINCLAIR/THRESHER Guests wait for their cars at the conclusion of the 10th anniversary gala on Friday. Rice '63) said switching conferences offers have a real future and some great potential." several benefits, some of them academic. WAC commissioner Ken Benson said as a "It should save us some time and energy on See CUSA, Page 8

• , Cheney keynote at gala by David Brown and that's to destroy the terrorists before they can launch further attacks on the THRESHER STAFF I i United States," Cheney said. Rice's James A. Baker III Institute for After detailing the U.S. search for inter- Public Policy celebrated its 10th anniver- national support for the war in Iraq, Cheney sary with a bang Friday, bringing in almost said the country must ultimately control its 800 guests, $3.2 million, and the vice presi- own national security. dent of the United States as the keynote "If the United States had been restrained speaker. by the objections of some regimes, Saddam Invited and introduced by the Baker Hussein would still rule Iraq," Cheney said. Institute's honorary chair, James A. Baker "Only America has the might and the will to III. Dick Cheney spoke about his storied lead the world through a time of peril for relationship with Baker and went on to greater security and peace." promote America's strategies in the war on The speech closely resembled Cheney's terrorism. Oct. 10 lecture at the Heritage Foundation "The events of9/11 changed everything in Washington, D.C. and is part of the Bush for this country," Cheney said. "We saw the administration's heightened campaign to harm 19 evil men can do armed with little justify the war amid declining public sup- more than airline tickets and box cutters." port. © Guests at the black-tie dinner, which Baker Institute Director Ambassador was held in a tent specially erected for the Edward Djerejian said he did not know in gala between Baker Hall, Alice Pratt Brown advance what issues Cheney would ad- Hall, and the Jesse H. Jones Graduate dress but said he was not surprised at the School of Management Building, included speech's content. many of Houston's elite. Entrance to the "The administration feels a real need event started at $750. with many guests that this message is understood," Djerejian contributing much larger amounts. said. "Whatever opportunity they get, In his 15-minute speech, Cheney said they're going to pronounce their view of terrorists are seeking biological and nuclear the threat to inform American public opin- weapons and will use them without re- ion why we were engaged in this struggle." straint. Although Cheney's speech evoked con- "We might lose tens or even hundreds troversy surrounding current U.S. policy, of thousands of lives in a single day of the rest of the evening's affairs were cor- horror," Cheney said. "We must do every- dial commemorations to the Baker Insti- thing in our power to keep terrorists from tute, its 10 years of successful, nonpartisan MATT CRNKOVICH/THRESHER ever acquiring weapons of mass destruc- policymaking and the people who have tion." made it possible, Djerejian said. Saturday Evening Cartoons .American security, he said, cannot be A brief video on the Baker Institute's Jones College sophomore Jesse Cortez waits for his Screw Yer Roommate date Saturday in achieved by deterrence or containment. history played on four large screens. The the Academic Quad as SpongeBob Square Pants. Screw Yer Roommate is Rice's annual 'There is only one way to protect our- video detailed Rice Political Science Pro- night of blind dates that inspire goofy introductions. selves against catastrophic terrorist plots, See CHENEY, Page 4

INSIDE

Biology professor remembered Project Pumpkin OPINION Page 3 Raker was right to invite a Dick Award in 2000 from Iowa State Uni- Project Pumpkin will be held by Brooke Lathram of key faculty were hired, both in structural biology and also in cell versity, where he earned his Ph.D. tomorrow in the Will Rice Col- THRESHER STAFF A&E Page 13 in 1971. and developmental biology." lege quad from 1 to 4 p.m. Lots Pucker up to Kiss me Kate Rice faculty and community Biochemistry and Cell Biology When Rudolph finished his term of children will come to trick- members attended a memorial ser- Department Chair George Bennett as department chair earlier this or-treat and participate in SPORTS Page 18 vice held Sunday for Frederick said Rudolph helped design and raise year, he became the director of the activities. Volunteers are Soccer wins five out of six Rudolph, professor of biochemis- funds for the construction of Keck Institute for Biosciences and Bio- needed to run the booths (but try and director of Rice's Institute Hall and George R. Brown Hall. He technology, whose mission is to not to eat all the candy). Scoreboard of Biosciences and Bioengineering. said Rudolph contributed greatly to promote cross-disciplinary research Football Rudolph, who was 58years old, died Rice's research, educational pro- and education in biology, chemis- Navy 38, Rice 6 Oct. 9 of an apparent brain hemor- grams and image in the Houston try and engineering. Dean of Natu- Extra weekend time San Jose State 24, Rice 28 rhage. community. ral Sciences Kathleen Matthews It's the most glorious week- Soccer A faculty member since 1972, "He was a visible and friendly said she is still searching for a new end of the entire year: as Day- Boise 1. Rice 2 OT Rudolph chaired the department of spokesman for Rice in his many pub- director. light Savings Time begins, we Nevada 1, Rice 3 UTEP 0, Rice 1 OT lic activities," Bennett said. "There isn't any one person who benefit with an extra hour of biochemistry and cell biology from Volleyball can step in and take his place," sleep Sunday morning. 1995 to Spring 2003 and held leader- Rudolph's research included en- Rice 3, Tulsa 2 Matthews said. "He was one-of-a- ship positions in many organizations. zyme structure and function and So whether you use the ex- Rice 3, McNeese State 1 As chair, Rudolph invigorated the nucleotide metabolism. His work kind." tra time to sleep (hopefully), department by hiring new faculty led to the discovery that several Biochemistry and Cell Biology party (intriguing), or work Weekend Weather and devoting himself to students and key nucleotides needed by infants Lecturer Susan Cates (Ph.D. 00) (most likely), remember to set Friday faculty members, Biochemistry and for healthy immune function were said she met Rudolph when she was your clocks back an hour be- Mostly sunny, 85-64 degrees Cell Biology Professor Michael missing from standard baby for- a graduate student in the depart- fore you go to sleep Saturday Saturday Gustin said. mula. The findings led every major ment and later knew him as a fellow night for the 2 a.m. switch. And Thunderstorms, 80-55 degrees Sunday "He really fostered an atmo- producer of infant formula to add teacher. don't blame us when you are an Partly cloudy, 73-51 degrees sphere of learning," Gustin said. these ingredients and earned "From a student perspective he hour early to church. "During his time as chair, a number Rudolph a Distinguished Alumnus Sec PROFESSOR. Page 5 THE RICE THRESHER OPINION FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 m the Rice Thresher I: '

! Hey Boys and Girls Baker's weekend went My Name is WALLY GAZAWALL! mostly well for students My job is to separate the chosen kiddies from the By and large, we had a nice weekend. The events surrounding (V> not-so-chosen kiddies! the James A. Baker III Institute for Public Policy's tenth anniver- sary were mostly well-planned and beneficial to students. (See Story, Page 1.) Since the appearance of Vice President Dick Cheney was closed to students, we were pleased to have had the option of attending two events that were equally as stimulating as chowing down with Cheney, if not more so. The "Media and Public Policy" forum Saturday — featuring ABC World News Tonight Anchor Peter Jennings; Jim Lehrer, host of PBS's "The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer"; and NBC News Foreign Affairs Correspondent Andrea Mitchell and moderated by former Secretary of State James A. Baker III — was an informative and entertaining chance to hear the views and stories of some of journalism's best. And the opportunity for students to actually meet Baker on Sunday after- noon at the Baker Institute Student Forum's reception is truly appreciated. In addition, we are glad the anti-Cheney protest on Friday night went smoothly. Students conducted themselves civilly and profes- sionally, and in so doing made a strong and legitimate statement of their views. Our one complaint involves the lack of information about the AND THESE ARE MY FRIENDLY general state of lockdown that persisted throughout the weekend. We know there is no compromising of the goals of the United States LITTLE WALL-CHILDREN Secret Service — when they want to cordon off half of Rice, they can go right ahead. But there are Secret Service personnel and protocols active on the campus often enough that Rice ought to figure out a more effective zS/GOri way to communicate security needs to the entire community of S3- students, staff and faculty. A campus-wide e-mail needs to be sent as soon as the details of any HADRIANNE BERLIE CHENEY security procedures are reasonably finalized; that way, students won't be shocked when they try to find their cars and instead find a sleek, "Matrix"-esque agent with an earpiece telling them they can go no farther. And if plans change, they should send another e- mail — we're bombarded enough that one more won't matter. Overall, though, we are grateful for all Rice did to accommo- date students during the momentous weekend for the Baker Institute. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Shame on Rice for peace proposal that would require I stress, this is because I believe this Writer wrong to support the Palestinians to make extraor- position is "right" and "good," un- Israeli militarism dinary concessions — a proposal like our diffident Student Associa- Sharon has already dismissed, tion co-President. tree-dooming deal calling it a "historical mistake." It is a sad day when one of our To the editor: The current Israeli administra- campus leaders feels forced to play Rice is on the wrong end of another parking lot debate — this one Ambreen Tour's guest column occurring between local residents and a synagogue across the street tion must overcome its stubborn- the relativist hypocrite to avoid "of- ("Israel cannot be expected to be ness if violence is to be quelled in fending" some unspecified party. from campus. (See Story, Page 5.) complacent to terror," Oct. 10) un- the region, and if peace is to be The university should not have leased land to the Emanu El dertook to defend Israel's recent achieved. Dan Franke military aggression, and I felt upon synagogue — located across from the North Colleges at Rice Wiess freshman reading it that a few points needed Samuel Martin Blvd. and Sunset Blvd. — when they knew the land would be to be addressed. Will Rice sophomore used to expand a parking lot. Now, the lease will allow the Although the writer never said synagogue to legally cut down a beautiful grove of trees in order so explicitly, she evidently re- to expand its parking facilities. By protecting its land and ferred to Israel's airstrike in Syria CONTACTING THE protecting the trees, Rice would have proven a much better that occurred earlier this month. Relativism undermines THRESHER neighbor to the residents who are now protesting the proposed While I agree with Tour fully that to live under the constant threat column's message Letters construction. of terrorism would be a terrible Of late, Rice has regrettably eliminated a great deal of green thing, I cannot agree with her sup- To the editor: • Letters to the editor space from its campus. It would have been nice for the school to port of Israel's militarism. I found Michael Leggett's column should be sent to the Thresher by e-mail to thresher'':rice, edu. have at least empowered itself to protect a small piece of green The Syria bombing violated in- ("Making a stand for the Rice commu- ternational law, only serving to letters must be received by space o/fcampus. nity," Oct. 10) interesting and ulti- heighten tensions in the region mately disappointing. First of all. if he 5 p.m. on the Monday prior to and to perpetuate the violence that needs to hedge his opinion with so a Friday publication date. the Israeli government purports many qualifiers about how Rice's alco- • All letters to the editor to wish ended. hol policy is treated, he should spare must be signed and include a Official C-USA decision Moreover, Tour neglected to us the effort. Second, having finally phone number. point out that Israel has frequently established a (murky) position — "I • Letters should be no used the so-called war on terror as am making a stand and inviting you to longer than 250 words in an excuse to perpetrate outrageous join me."—he completely negates his length. The Thresherreserves was well-timed atrocities against innocent Palestin- stand by then stating, "I do not claim the right to edit letters for Rice's move to Conference USA has been practically a foregone ians. my stand to be 'right' or 'good,' as that both content and length. conclusion for several weeks, but we were still pleased by Friday's Take, for instance, the Israeli raid would be hypocritical." News Tips of the Rafah camp two weeks ago, Now, I ask, if you do not believe official announcement. (See Story, Page 1.) A geographically-based • Tips for possible news sto- division just makes (dollars and) sense. which left 14 dead and hundreds that your stand is "right" or "good," homeless. then why are you making it and wast- ries should be phoned in to The timing of the announcement was especially good, be- Tour then proceeded to equate ing our time?The true hypocrisy rests the Thresher at (713) 348-4801. cause it brings definition to a previously vague situation. Both the Palestinian leadership inex- in advocating something you do not Subscribing tricably with extremism, failing to believe in strongly enough to claim the Rice and national athletic communities now know the school's m Annual subscriptions are consider the brutal and belliger- the moral high ground for it. reaction to anticipated moves in the athletic world and can react available for $50 domestic and ent Israeli administration now in To play with words like "critical" accordingly. $105 international via first place and Prime Minister Ariel versus "judgmental" is to play the hypo- class mail. We don't know about anyone else, but our first move will be Sharon's repeated refusal to ac- crite, for criticism inherently implies a withdrawing our media accreditation requests for the 2005 Miss commodate all Palestinian at- judgment based on values that you Advertising tempts to contain the fundamen- Hawaiian Tropic Beauty Contest. regard as "right" or "good" — at any • We accept display and talist militants. rate superior to other criticisms. classified advertisements. Indeed, Palestinian leaders I agree with his (ultimate) posi- Unsigned editorials represent the majority opinion of the Thresher Please contact the Thresher have just collaborated with left- tion entirely — follow the rules and for more information. editorial staff. wing Israeli politicians to draft a fix the flaws when they turn up. But, '1

THE RICE THRESHER OPINION FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2003 A bear holding a shark He may be a Dick but he helped students Guest column I didn't make it to the James A. government would be without it This seemed to be the largest detrac- Our people are starving but Baker III Institute for Public Policy's Last Friday was not an appropri- tion from the merits of the event to 10th anniversary gala last weekend. ate time for the Baker Institute to many students. To me, if s the most It's probably for the best — I was serve as such a resource, however. meritorious reason to hold the event. we should launch a rocket sick, and I don't think the The gala was functionally Rice made money off its endow- Secret Service has a proto- different from speeches ment this year for the first time in a When astronaut Yang Liwei Assistance sends the equivalent of col for protecting dignitar- or forums students are few years. However, we're not at a took off in his Shenzhou 5 space- over half the entire budget of the ies from projectile vomit. usually encouraged to at- point where money is available to ex- craft, China entered the exclusive Chinese space program to China in Some of you may think tend. It more closely re- pand and improve our resources. The club of nations that have success- aid each year. This week's enter- vomiting is the only ap- sembled the private Baker Institute funds several fellows fully launched a human tainment in China has propriate reaction to the events the Baker Institute in various areas, but cannot afford being into space. For caused critics to ques- sight of our current vice holds for Roundtable much more. If any of this $3 million more than 40 years, ex- tion why Japan sends president, and to a certain members (also known as assists the Baker Institute in extend- ploring the heavens such aid to a nation that degree I'm of the same people who give a lot of ing its areas of expertise, it's worth it. above was the exclusive is willing to spend mindset, but such Catherine money). New fellows would increase the pres- domain of the United money on a new ride thoughts don't mean he The second complaint tige of the institute and also create States, the Soviet rather than shoring up shouldn't have been in- Adcock I've heard from students is new resources for students to use. Union/Russia and their basic human services. vited to speak at the Baker that Cheney is a bad man. I Perhaps it is understandable that collaborators. Japan islike arich per- Institute. agree. However, he is the most students don't trust an adminis- Not that space son giving sandwiches to Cheney is controversial, and by vice president and the subject and tar- tration-related group, i.e. the budget- travel was ever about Steve a starving person riding all means he is not the best guiding get of Baker Institute research. makers at the Baker Institute, to use exploration anyway. in a brand-new Ford force for our nation's policy. At the And his influence was clearly help- the money in a way that will eventually The purpose of space Pattyn Thunderbird. According same time, the nature of the event ful to students. There are two ways help students. To some degree I don't exploration is, and has to the United Nations and his position in the world made the Baker Institute could serve stu- either. However, the Baker Institute always been, to project Population Fund, there him a prime candidate to speak at dents better, and the Cheney event has a substantial potential for growth. an image of national purpose and are some 30 million destitute people the H iker Institute's gala. has helped on both fronts. As long as the institute continues to to associate technological preemi- in China, yet their state's money Most of the people I've talked to The first is its prestige. It has little. make itself a resource for students, nence with military, ideological funded a flashy and scientifically are upset the event excluded stu- It's young and can't compete with the any growth will be good for students and cultural supremacy. As Lei meaningless jaunt around the Earth. dents to a large degree. What these likes of the Woodrow Wilson School at Rice, especially those interested in Yi, a historian at the Chinese Acad- people fail to realize is that the Baker of Public Policy at Princeton. For this government emy of Social Sciences, told The Institute is a public policy think-tank, reason, the Baker Institute can often I'm glad my friends were out New York Times Oct 17, "The designed to produce policy memos only manage to attract half-notables there protesting the Baker Institute symbolic significance outweighs for decision makers such as Cheney. to speak. Since Russian President gala. Someone needed to remind the strategic value of this mis- Observers in foreign The institute is, by design, only tan- Vladimir Putin and Federal Reserve Cheney in what direction the United sion . It is meant to show that China gentially involved with students. Board Chairman Alan Greenspan States should be going. However, is arriving as a scientific and tech- nations should not Despite this, students still manage spoke on consecutive days in Novem- the Baker Institute's decision to nological power." look at the new to benefit greatly from it. Students are ber 2001, the number of A-list speak- bring Cheney to campus was not So China has finally joined the often able to meet in small groups ers has been few. only sound, but will benefit all of us country club. Chinese program as with the notables that come to speak As a result of this lack of renown, in the long run. He is, above all else, Little else positive can be said at the Baker Institute. A lot of Baker I've often found mysel' bereft of the the vice president and a policymaker about the launch. The Chinese anything but a Institute resources, such as archived resources needed to study topics like and the Baker Institute is a school effort did nothing to demonstrate speeches, are available to students. I international law. Cheney's attendance about public policy. I could not think the nation's scientific ability. The contemptible waste. know several students who work for marked an impressive increase in of anyone more appropriate. mission was short, its technology fellows at the Baker Institute. In all Baker Institute prestige. proven countless times. New sci- honesty, I can't imagine where stu- Additionally, the event raised over Catherine Adcock is a Martel College entific research was non-existent. While similarly-minded critics dents at Rice who are interested in $3 million for the Baker Institute. senior and features editor. To put things in perspective, L. of the U.S. space program pointed Gordon Cooper Jr. flew for out in the 1960s that the program 34 hours in the final Mercury mis- took money away from President Rice Voices sion in 1963. This is longer than Lyndon B. Johnson's "Great Soci- what Yang flew after 40 years of ety" initiatives, it seems even technological advances. China has, harder for China to justify the in other words, demonstrated that allocation of resources that their Misuse of cameras could give Biloxi blues it has the ability to compete with space program requires. Millions superpowers from the early 1960s. starve in Guizhou and Qinghai How's this for reality TV? Public report preceding NBC's Biloxi story leave behind socially deficient citizens. Yet the reactions of nations while China tries to improve its schools — elementary to high — in featured a nanny whose fiagran t baby- Biloxi can stick to its surveillance across the world to this show of international status. Biloxi, Miss, have installed video shaking was caught by a home surveil- system in the name of safety and do "scientific ingenuity" demon- Observers in foreign nations surveillance cameras in their class- lance system. Feeds from convenience right by its students, parents and com- strate how sensitive the interna- should not look at the new Chi- rooms and hallways so stores and creepy parking munity. There's nothing wrong with tional community is to space nese program as anything but a that students and teach- , , garages provide key evi- being able to pin an abusive teacher or flight. In Japan, iheAsahi Shim bun contemptible waste, the foreign ers can be monitored by dence in countless crimi- a truly violent child with hard evidence. and Yomiuri Daily ran articles support of which must somehow the centralized adminis- nal prosecutions. Cockpit But to make a largely positive im- questioning why there was a be curtailed. This means that crit- tration at nearly all times. voice and data recorders pact, Biloxi will have to make its re- "space gap" between Japan and ics in these countries need not NBC Nightly Newsdid help engineers build safer straints clear to the kids. Schools can China. Thus, despite the fact that worry about falling behind China a surprisingly balanced job planes. only pull the "we saw you on camera" Japan has sent several astronauts in the number and flashiness of covering the story Oct. 13, Surveillance doesn't just card if a disciplinary problem is seri- into space through joint programs space stunts. Technological ad- first talking to a principal make usfeel safer; it makes ous (if not dire). Otherwise, Biloxi with the United States, national- vancement is surely important, but in the district who cited us safer. But limits exist. schools will become totalitarian fish- ists wondered why Japan was so China's flight was clearly not about "safety and security" as the Nathan One obvious limit is in bowls, and Biloxi will have sacrificed far behind. Calls for a plan to catch science; it was an irresponsible a lot of learning for a little security. main reasons for the Black regard to how much we up have already been voiced. ploy for attention and recognition. move, and then talking to watch. Bathroomsand bed- And let's not forget the firewall. Most gallingly to Japan, the parents and an American rooms should be private, Japanese Office of Development Steve Pattyn is a Jones College junior. Civil Liberties Union and I hope those who don't Nathan Black is a Ijjvett College spokesperson about fears of hacker respect that will always be considered sophomore and opinion editor. pedophiles (the video feeds are deviant by the general public. viewed by district staff on a restricted Another limit is less obvious, and Web site) and the encroachment of a it is the area in which the Biloxi "surveillance society." model becomes a little scary. That The Rice Thresher, the official student Well, pedophilia is certainly an limit what we do about what we watch. newspaper at Rice University since 1916, is unequivocal concern. Biloxi schools A cute little kid at the end of the the Rice Thresher published each Friday during the school year, TV report had something like this to except during examination periods and had better have the best damn holidays, by the students of Rice University. firewall ever made. say about the "benefits" of class- But can we also bemoan a "surveil- room surveillance: "I know that if I Mark Berenson Editorial and business offices are located lance society" when cameras show do something bad, they'll see me, Editor in Chief on the second floor of the Ley Student Center, up in the classroom? Yes, we can, but and I'll get in trouble." 6100 Main St., MS-524, Houston, TX 77005- I think we need to pick our battles. I'm worried about an environ- 1892. Phone (713) 3484801. Fax (713) 348- Criticizing the general onslaught ment where children are afraid to be 5238. E-mail: [email protected]. Web page: NEWS BACKPAGE www.ricethresher.org. of surveillance cameras, black boxes the least bit bad. Lindsey Gilbert, Editor Danny Blanco, Editor Jenny Rees, Editor Lucas Ogden-Davis, Editor and security guards is both pointless It was by acting up that I learned Annual subscription rate: $50 domestic, Alana Newell. Page Designer and short-sighted. It's pointless be- boundaries, courtesy and what is con- $105 international. Nonsubscription rate: first COPY copy free, second copy $5. cause we already live in a surveillance sidered socially acceptable. I no longer OPINION Melissa Bailey, Editor society and are unlikely to turn back. get in (big) trouble for talking when Elaine Lee, Asst. Editor Forty-eight U.S. states monitor the teacher's talking, but I usually don't Nathan Black, Editor Vivian Wiener, Assf. Editor The Thresher reserves the right to refuse schoolchildren by surveillance to some do it, because I've learned better. any advertising for any reason. Additionally, SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHY the Thresher does not take responsibility for degree. My brother has a channel on When an elementary school's Jonathan Yardley, Editor Stuart Sinclair, Editor the factual content of any ad. Printing an his TV where he can watch people rides are enforced by a supra-activist Dylan Hedrick, Assf. Editor Katie Streit, Editor advertisement does not constitute an drive up to his apartment complex's administration with aerial omni- ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Matt Crnkovich, Assf. Editor endorsement by the Thresher. gate. People want protection. science —and that may be how some Carly Kocurek, Editor BUSINESS Jon Schumann. Editor Unsigned editorials represent the majority And blanket criticism is short- Biloxi kids see their schools — its Polly D'Avignon, Business Manager Jennifer Quereau, Page Designer opinion of the Thresher editorial staff. All other sighted, because surveillance is not by students learn through fear and re- Debbie Miller. /Issf. Business Manager opinion pieces represent solely the opinion of definition bad. Sure, the "hidden pression. If the cameras make them CALENDAR C.W. McCullagh, Payroll Manager the author. The Backpige is satire. camera" spam e-mails are annoying, afraid to act up, they will never test Erika Acheson, Editor Emily Jones, Distribution Manager Ajay Kalia, Editor Parul Patel, Subscriptions Manager and Fox-style reality TV is a most un- the limits of decorum that so badly Margaret Xu, Office Manager The Tfcrps/tprisamemberofthe Associated fortunate by-product of our voyeuris- need to be tested. FEATURES Collegiate Press and the Society of Professional tic obsessions, but in the end surveil- What happens when they go to Catherine Adcock, Editor ADVERTISING Journalists. List week's issue was better. lance keeps people much more ac- college, or to work, and the cameras Ethan Varela. Ads Manager Matt Hamilton, Asst. Ads Manager countable than they would otherwise are gone? Fear and repression can Jack Hardcastle, Online Editor © COPYRIGHT 2003. John Donaleski, Cartoonist Gretchen Raff. Classified Ads Manager be. only educate while they are present; And this is a good thing. The subsequently removing them could THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 Black-tie event celebrates 10 years for Baker Institute CHENEY, from Page 1 against Cheney's presence on cam- fessor Richard Stoll's memo to then- pus that attracted about 60 students, President George Rupp proposing a RFP President Jessica Kaminsky public policy institute named in said. honor of Baker. The video included The crowd, which included sev- praise from several ex-presidents eral faculty members and graduate * and a statement from Secretary of students, gathered by the Student State Colin Powell. Center outside the temporary secu- Powell thanked the Institute for rity fence erected around the gala "the contribution it make to educat- tent and the surrounding area. ing citizenry, as well as providing The demonstrators chanted, "Go products to those of us in govern- home Cheney," and carried signs ment on the issues of the day." labeled "Private interest does not Rice President Malcolm Gillis, equal public good"; "War breeds W Baker Institute supporters Anne and hate. Hate breeds terrorism"; "Our Charles Duncan ('47), Djerejian and grief is not a cry for war"; and "Im- Baker were also honored. perialism is Wrong," among oth- Cheney praised Baker and his ers. ongoing impact on public policy. Although the gala's purpose was After being introduced by Baker, to honor the Baker Institute, pro- who reminisced about shared testors objected to Cheney's atten- experiences such as camping in dance because of the Wyoming and serving on former- administration's alleged human President Bush's cabinet, Cheney rights violations in waging war in said, "[Baker] commanded the ut- Iraq and Cheney's ties to Houston- most respect for the work he did, the based energy corporation intellect he brought to bear on every Halliburton, which has been issue, and the example he set for all accused of unethical business prac- of us." tices. Guests dined on pumpkin soup "We just wanted to let people served in miniature pumpkins, lob- know Rice is our home, and as far as ster and bread pudding, and enjoyed we were concerned, he's not wel- R live music and dancing after dinner. come in it," Kaminsky, a Sid MATT CRNKOVICH/THRESHER Richardson College senior, said. Students chant outside the security fence surrounding the Baker Institute's 10th anniversary gala Friday. Protest "Whatever prestige was added by person that is holding the office right had planned a barbecue to go along ton location, including programs on During the gala, the student having a vice president at the event now." with the protest and raise money space policy, oil and energy policy, group Rice for Peace held a protest was completely blown away by the Kaminsky said Rice for Peace for an international charity. Al- health policy and a project on the though the Rice administration gave U.S.-Mexico border. .IW permission for the barbecue, the Now, with its established repu-

V Secret Service vetoed it as a secu- tation, the Baker Institute has ex-

• •• • .-V- • rity threat. panded its influence in our nation's "The Rice administration was capital. i y •basketball preview next Friday at her dogs," a congregant said. "These Browning, a Wiess College senior, against Reform Jewish synagogue is in the hundreds. On High Holy the second annual Halloween Hoops. are people who put a wall up [around said she hopes students who come to Emanu El over possible construc- Days attendance is much higher, The event will be held from 8 to 10 their neighborhood, and] they want the event will continue to attend bas- tion of a parking lot on a plot of land and the congregation pays to use p.m. at Autry Court. Rice's stadium parking lots. to walk on our property. I find it very ketball games throughout the season. owned by Rice. Co-sponsored by Rice Program About three weeks ago, the aggravating." "If people have a personal rela- Residents and congregants on Council's Spirit and Morale Com- tionship with athletes or if they feel Emanu El congregation signed a mittee and the Rowdy Owls (for- lease with Rice with plans to use the both sides of the dispute voiced that they're personally connected to their opinions at a meeting Tues- merly known as Students for Ath- them, then they are more likely to plot for parking, Vice President for 'People got used to it letic Spirit and Support), the event is Public Affairs Terry Shepard said. day. The result of the meeting is go to games," Browning said. unknown. modeled after the "Midnight The women's team play its first The plot is located off campus at being there and got Madness" tradition popular at other Shepard said he could not discuss regular season home game against 1500 Sunset Blvd., across the street universities in which students at- the terms of the lease, but said Rice is LSU Nov. 29. The men face Stanford from Martel College. used to thinking of it as tend the first varsity basketball prac- staying out of the dispute. at home Nov. 30. Rice purchased the land in 1961, tice of the season. and discussion between Rice and a public park.' Currently, the temple is look- - Prasheeda Bremjit Members of the women's and Emanu El began three years ago, ing into engineering and landscape — Terry Shepard, men's varsity teams will participate Shepard said. When Rice bought the architecture studies to determine Vice President in several different exhibitions in- land, administrators set it aside as a how the project can be done in the cluding a three point shooting Beer-Bike coordinators potential site for a new residential for Public Affairs way that works best for everyone, competition and a slam-dunk com- college or graduate housing facility, he said. petition. The Rice cheerleading chosen Shepard said. However, the plot has Aaron Redman, co-president of squad and dance team will perform. been left undeveloped. the Rice Environmental Club, said Planning for Beer-Bike 2004 is Ginny Stuckey, a co-chair of the underway, with Jones College jun- Some residents of local neigh- "The agreement we have with although the club has been involved RPC Spirit and Morale Committee, iors Ellen Montz and Jennine borhoods, including Shadyside, Rice indicates we're going to be us- with green space preservation on said the goal of the event is to gener- Guanchez named cainpus-wide co- Oak Shadows and Jandor Gardens, ing [the land] for parking," campus, he had not heard of the off- ate enthusiasm for the upcoming ordinators earlier this month. are protesting the paving of the Blumberg said. "My knowledge is campus dispute. season and encourage lasting stu- The coordinators were chosen plot. that it's been approved all the way Redman said it is unlikely the dent support of the team. through a process involving both a "People got used to it being there down the line at Rice." club will pursue a role in the Emanu "[RPC] hopes it pumps the bas- written application and an in-person and got used to thinking of it as a Attorney Lynne Liberato, who is El disagreement. ketball teams up and helps them feel interview with Assistant Director of public park," Shepard said. representing the neighbors, could "[However], if someone in the like the student body is behind them Student Activities Holly Williams and Local residents have voiced con- not be reached for comment. club wants to take it on, we will and cheering them on throughout Director of Student Activities cern over loss of green space as well. Some Emanu El congregants said support him or her," he said. the season," Stuckey, a Sid Heather Masden. Both Montz and Richardson College sophomore, said. Guanchez have past experience in Beer-Bike leadership. Montz served as Jones' Beer-Bike Coordinator last year, and Guanchez was the cam- www.micron.com/jobs pus-wide concessions coordinator. The coordinators are currently seeking students to head publicity and security, among other areas, as part of the campus-wide Beer-Bike explore career opportunities committee. Guanchez said she and Montz with aii • | hope to build on the success of pre- vious Beer-Bikes. "Basically we want to make Beer- Bike run as smoothly as possible," worldwide * Guanchez said. "Beer-Bike is one of the things that is a set tradition, so you cannot make drastic changes, but small improvements can be made. You can look at years past and make cor- technology leader rections so things run more smoothly." Unlike in past years, the commit- Micron Technology, Inc. is a global leader in the semiconductor industry. tee will develop a rain plan in advance. "This year we're planning on hav- We continually broaden our DRAM, Flash and CMOS image sensor product ing a set rain plan down on paper that is more concrete and clear so offerings. Today, the majority of Micron's high-volume semiconductor there is no question what to do if it production is on 0.13u process technology. rains," Guanchez said. I.ast year, a steady rain and a spur- of-the-moment decision turned Beer- Micron Information Session Bike into Beer-Run when the track was declared unsafe for biking. Wednesday, October 29 Guanchez said she enjoys Beer- Bike because the long-standing tra- Abercrombie Building, A126 dition brings the campus together. 4:00 p.m. "Beer-Bike is a tradition," Guanchez said. "It's one of the main Pizza and sodas will be provided. times when all of the colleges can get together at one event. Everyone gets really into it and is very enthu- Applicable Majors: siastic and spirited." — Terry Kennair Chemical Engineering Chemistry

Computer Engineering Electrical Engineering Materials Science Physics

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E-mail (preferred): [email protected] Fax: 208.363.2322 Micron Technology, Inc. mi Attn: 825 Human Resources, MS 1-707 8000 South Federal Way icron Boise, Idaho 83707-0006 EllEEN MEYER/THRESHER

EEO/AA Jones College juniors Jennine Guanchez (top) and Ellen Montz are the campus- wide Beer-Bike coordinators. mmm'tnrt i1''» r*r r""*

THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY. OCTOBER 24, 2003

STUDENT ASSOCIATION The Student Association met Monday. The following were RUPD apprehends bicycle thief discussed. by Risa Gordon Over a dozen bicycles were sto- was brought to justice." • NCAA Baseball Championship and Tuck Fexas T-shirts have THRESHER STAFF len on campus in a two-week period The suspect attempted to re- arrived. There will be several opportunities for students who at the beginning of this month. turn to campus earlier this week, ordered shirts to purchase them, after which any remaining An alert student foiled an at- Diaz said officers apprehended Diaz said. Flores was seen attempt- shirts will be sold. tempted bike theft Friday by call- the suspect after the male student ing to cross the street toward cam- • The senate approved the Rice Club Tennis Team, which will ing RUPD. called RUPD to report the attempted pus Tuesday, but retreatc ' after organize students to play tennis and compete against students Rice University Police Depart- theft. When the student walked up, RUPD officers arrived to intercept from other schools. Anyone with questions should contact ment officers arrested Manuel the suspect left the bike and began him. Brown College sophomore Elizabeth Matthews at [email protected]. Flores, of no fixed address, at about to walk away. The student then Should Flores return to campus, m The senate approved the Hong Kong Student Association, 10 p.m. near Duncan Hall after the jumped on his bike and followed the he will be arrested and charged with which will provide support for students from Hong Kong. student observed Flores attempting suspect, while giving information the violation of a criminal trespass Anyone with questions should contact Civil and Environmental to steal his bicycle. Flores was about the suspect's location to RUPD warning, a more serious misde- Engineering graduate student Eliza Tsui at [email protected]. charged with a Class C misdemeanor over a cell phone. meanor, Diaz said. b The senate approved the Rice Engineering Society Council, for trespassing. Diaz said officers found common Bike thefts have declined since which will provide a centralized resource for students in the Flores has a criminal record that "tools of the trade" — a wrench and the rash earlier this month. Lieuten- engineering program. The faculty sponsor is Bart Sinclair, includes several burglaries and a pair of pliers — on the suspect. ant Phillip Hassell said. Hassell said associate dean of the Brown School of Engineering. Anyone drug offenses. However, police do Flores spent the night in jail. RUPD has taken extra steps to pro- with questions should contact Will Rice College senior Mark not believe that Flores is the pri- Diaz said the student's level- tect bikes. Lai at [email protected]. mary person responsible for the headed actions led to Flores' appre- "We've made a real effort to try to • SA Co-President Michael Leggett led a discussion about a numerous bike thefts in the last hension. flood the bike racks with officers," proposed design forthe Homecoming T-shirts in which "TULSA" month. "The complainant himself was Hassell said. "But also we've been would be printed on the front of the shirt, with the mirror image "He might be one of [the thieves], probably the key element to this," seizing some bikes that aren't se- of the word printed on the back, so the letters would appear but no, he's not the main culprit, if Diaz said. "The complainant was in- cured properly so [students] can in the order "ASLUT." Several students said they found the there is a main culprit," RUPD Of- credibly cooperative and went out of come pick them up, so we can tell proposed design offensive because the word "slut" is often ficer Isabel Diaz said. his way to ensure that this person them, 'You 're asking to get it stolen."' used to demean women. The senate voted not to adopt the design. Leggett said he and co-President Bryan Debbink will choose a design. Anyone with suggestions should send an e- mail to [email protected]. m Leggett, a Wiess College senior, announced the SA Student Life Committee will make a presentation to campus police officers about Rice students and student life. • Debbink, a Wiess senior, announced the SA Sports and Health Committee will investigate the impact of the overland flow channel constructed between Wiess College and the Inner Loop on ambulance access to intramural fields. • Debbink announced he and Leggett will create an eCoop for holiday airport rides that will help students find rides to and from local airports during holiday breaks. The eCoop will be available on the SA Web site. 2002-2003 • The senate approved a change to the SA by-laws exempting the director of publications from attending senate meetings. • Leggett led a discussion about whether the handwritten portion of student course evaluations should be made public along with numerical rankings. The senate supported the YEARBOOKS idea. Leggett said he and Debbink will pursue the change. • The SA Academics Committee presented its goals for the year. These include making more consistent standards for The 2003 Campanile will arrive on campus next week. distribution credit and for the number of hours assigned to labs and introductory language courses. Anyone with sugges- All undergraduates registered during the 2002 - 2003 academic year tion should send an e-mail to co-Chair Michelle Afkhami at are eligible to receive one at no cost. You can pick up your yearbook [email protected]. m The NCAA championship trophy from the 2003 College World in the Grand Hall lobby beginning Tuesday or Wednesday. Series was passed from Wiess to Jones College. Questions? Email [email protected]. The next meeting will be Monday at 10 p.m. in Farnsworth Pavilion in the Student Center.

POLICE BLOTTER COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY The following items were reported to the University Police for the SCHOOL OF INTERNATIONAL AND PUBLIC AFFAIRS period Oct. 9 - 19. THE EARTH INSTITUTE AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY Residential Colleges Sid Richardson College Oct. 18 Bike stolen.

Will Rice College Oct. 19 MP3 player stolen.

Academic Building Earn your MPA in Sewall Hall Oct. 9 Vacuum cleaner stolen from fourth-floor custodial closet. Environmental Science Fondren Library Oct. 14 Officers removed an individual from the building for belligerent behavior toward and Policy library staff. Subject was arrested when he refused to The Master of Public Administration identify himself and was Program in Environmental Science transported to Harris County Jail. and Policy combines Columbia University's hands-on approach Dell Butcher Hall Oct. 17 Bike stolen. to teaching public policy and / Duncan Hall Oct. 17 Individual arrested for administration with attempting to steal bicycle pioneering thinking about \ <- parts (See Story, above.) Subject charged with criminal the environment. Beginning in \ trespass and transported to June, this twelve-month \ Harris County Jail. program takes place at \ Parking Lots Columbia University's \ Oct. 15 Vehicle damaged. Lovett College Lot New York campuses.

Other Areas Laboratory Road Oct. 14 Female suspect arrested for For more information, please call 212-854-3142, driving while under the influence and transported to e-mail: [email protected], or visit our Web site. Harris County Jail. Now accepting applications for the program Rice University Oct. 14 Professor reported he beginning in June 2004. received an offensive, non- threatening e-mail.

Rice Stadium Oct. 18 Items stolen from visiting www.columbia.edu/cu/mpaenvironment football team locker room. ;: , , *„ *• Fr- : W

THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24.2003 I Similarity of schools, decreased travel cited in switch CUSA, from Page 1 could lead to a stronger Conference the U.S. Military Academy and the best environment, but we've had to "We do lose Houston and Dallas result of leaving the WAC Rice will USA and is therefore beneficial to U.S. Naval Academy regarding their go through it before and it is do- and the state of Oklahoma, which forfeit its final year-end conference Rice. affiliation with the conference for able." are three valuable television mar- revenue distribution, which aver- "I think knowing that [Rice, SMU football. May said Rice had previ- Gillis, however, said there is a kets," Benson said. "However, I ages between $500,000and $700,000. and Tulsa] are committed may be ously discussed aligning with Army slim possibility national realign- think you also have to ask the ques- May said Rice will also pay an beneficial as [Conference USA] talks and Navy and is hopeful C-USA will ment could take place for the 2004- tion 'How much did those three entrance fee to C-USA Beyond char- to other schools in the East about include the academies as football '05 season. schools deliver those television acterizing the fee as reasonable, he joining the conference," May said. associates. "With the perfect alignment of markets?'" declined to discuss it since the According to media reports, "Navy and Army were both part the stars and asteroids, yes we could Both Benson and May said there amount has not yet been formally C-USA is also in discussions with of discussions early on with Rice join before 2005," Gillis said. "But is no enmity between Rice and the set. Mid-American Conference schools and others about future configura- that's hard to arrange, though we WAC and that Rice is leaving on Gillis said that despite the loss of Central Florida and Marshall Uni- tions— a private school league, you have good influence with those amicable terms. revenue and the fee, the move makes versity about joining the confer- name it — we talked about any num- forces." "The WAC was absolutely great long-term economic sense, espe- ence. ber of options," May said. "From our While May said he expects for Rice — we loved it, our kids cially in light of reduced travel costs. May said Rice's agreement will standpoint, having any sort of con- C-USA to be a long-term home for responded very well, we won a bunch "The financial impact, even in the go into effect only if two current nection with those two schools would Rice, Benson said he believes of championships," May said. "We short-term, would be clearly posi- C-USA members leave for the Big be good." C-USA will change in the future. had a very good experience, and I tive on the balance." Gillis said. East. Louisville, Cincinnati, The Eastern Division is still sub- "There could be changes in the feel very good as a result of our Marquette and DePaul are all ex- ject to a lot of movement, especially Big East in three to five years that participation." The new conference pected to receive offers to join the with the Big East and Atlantic 10 could affect C-USA," Benson said. While the possible transfer of Rice Big East, and May said they will Conferences. One leading scenario "The league those three schools may Coaches respond and other WAC schools to C-USA likely accept. proposes an Eastern Division con- be joining may not be the same al- Coaches of individual sports were has been rumored for well over a "That is certainly what everyone sisting of Memphis University, the ways." not involved in the negotiations for month, the timing was a surprise. I have talked to is expecting, and I University of Southern Mississippi, Rice's future, but baseball head Most observers expected an an- haven't heard any other suggested East Carolina University, the Uni- Rice's decision to leave the WAC coach Wayne Graham said he thinks nouncement only after the Big East scenarios — we are operating under versity of Alabama-Birmingham, the In late spring, as the domino the move was a logical one. formally invited members of C-USA that assumption," May said. University of Central Florida and effect of conference switches be- "It makes all the sense in the to join the conference. KRIV Fox 26 reported last week Marshall University. gan with the Atlantic Coast world because of travel, lost class May said the early announcement that C-USA was in discussions with May said Rice will remain in the Conference's invitation to Big East time, natural rivalries — it could WAC for the next year-and-a-half teams Miami and Virginia Tech, develop into one of the better pro- since it is not possible to move for both May and Gillis told the grams in the country," Graham said. ~ m " 15N the 2004-'05 school year. He said Thresher their priority was on Graham also said the conference, v -nfcm » - • c# Rice's lame-duck status will not cause strengthening the WAC. with schools such as UH, TCU, problems. "We have been very much a mem- Tulane, Southern Miss and East "It won't be as onerous as it was ber of the WAC looking to strengthen Carolina University, could become the last time we went through this and not weaken the group," May a baseball powerhouse. [with the Southwest Conference]," said in a May 15 interview. "While Men's tennis head coach Ron May said. "Everybody has been very we would not be close-minded, we Smarr said that in addition to honest about their intentions, and are focused on what we can do to playing schools with more similar there are no serious downsides with make this a better league." academic reputations, the new finishing up the year-and-a-half." May said the problem with C-USA will be an excellent tennis WAC Commissioner Karl Benson strengthening the WAC was that conference. agreed that it will not be possible to some western members were not "I think we'll have five nationally- move the conference realignment willing to commit to the conference, ranked teams every year, which is The Baha'i Faith forward to next season. making it an unattractive option for good," Smarr said. "If you win Con- "We're 10 months away from the possible new members. ference USA you'll probably be Top Uniting your world ... one heart at a time '04 football season, with football "No one was going to leave their 10 in the country." schedules that are in place," Benson home to join the WAC if there was Smarr added that while a de- Devotions on Sundays 10-11 at Rice Chapel said. "I think it makes it very highly uncertainty about what was going to crease in travel would save money, Study circles near campus unlikely that we could expedite mat- be happening on the western side of athletes might not be as happy with- Call 1-800-22-UN1TE or visit www.bahai.org ters. I know that a year and a half of the WAC," May said. "That pretty out the more glamorous plane trips. some lame-duck status is not the much told us we better take care of "It costs a lot of money to go to business." Hawaii," Smarr said. "I know that'll Another factor that played into make a lot of the players mad — for Have vou done it? Rice's decision to leave was a desire the teams that had to go [for confer- * to be with similar institutions — es- ence play], they didn't mind." pecially private schools like SMU, Graham said he thinks the re- Tulsa, TCU and Tulane. cruiting benefits of playing against Are vou 17 vears or above? "SMU and Tulsa were very much more local teams will offset the intending on leaving the WAC if they loss of several WAC travel destina- had the opportunity, and it was im- tions. portant for us to be included with "Yeah, people are going to want The Art of Living them," May said. to send their kids where they can Benson said despite Rice, SMU see more games, but Hawaii, Reno and Tulsa's departure, the core mem- and San Francisco were recruiting Stress Management and Personality Development Workshop bers of the conference will remain, lures too, so it's kind of a cancel- and the WAC has already begun out," Graham said. targeting and meeting with poten- Football head coach Ken Hatfield Find Greater Peace, Energy and Joy tial new members. ESPN.com re- said he thinks closer travel will be ported Wednesday night that New better for the team. Mexico State and Utah State, who "The two-hour time zone differ- both compete in the Sun Belt Con- ence means you play different and ference for football, will join the WAC everybody ought to be going to bed to replace the departed trio, but the like midnight here and the game is WAC is likely to make more changes just starting out," Hatfield said. "The in the future. next thing you know you're waking Benson added that although sev- up at 6:00 in the morning — it's 8:00 eral large markets are being lost, your body's time — there ain't a lot the damage to the WAC will be mini- to do on the streets of Fresno at 6:00 mal. in the morning."

Features Natural principles of effective living [ACCUTANE I n te i j)ei so it al Pi oce sses Dynamic body exercises Prescribed for Acne: Innovative breathing techniques Have you or your loved one taken Accutane? Side Effects: th th Jack K. Robinson 9 Birth Defects Oct 30 - Nov 4 Attorney at Law • Inflammatory Bowel Disease th Workshop starts Oct 30 6 PM Rockwall, Texas • Damage lo Major Onins including • 1 i>«r. Kidney*. Pancreas. Heart, A lyes a Sammy's, RMC www.jaekrohinson.com • Psychiatric Injuries & Diseases [email protected] Please Call for a free consultation Schedule: Weekdays 630 pin - 9 30 pin; Sat & Sun 10:00 am -2:00pm 1-866-Know.Law

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Peace of mind is just a breath away File Your Claim Now! THE RICE THRESHER FEATURES FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2003 Did Rice really own Yankee Stadium? Text and page design by Catherine Adcock * Find out how well you know your campus The lies about Rice told by undergrads are as much a tradition as Beer Bike. These True or False: falsehoods, which feed off ill-informed tour guides and playful Orientation Week advisers reproduce exponentially in the general population starting with freshman 1. No building on campus, other than Brown College, may move-in day until they are held as fact by all. be taller than seven stories. Yet, perhaps you do know the fact from the fiction. Or maybe you've found the stories 2. The Rice Charter specifies that campus walkways suspect but never been able to find out for sure whether or not Rice really is an official cannot be concrete. This is why every walkway is covered cemetery or if we really did we once have live owls. in pebbles. You can test how much you know about Rice history by taking this short quiz. Then 3. Live owls,once Rice's mascots, lived at Lovett College. compare your knowledge to the wizard of Rice history, Professor of History John Boles with the John-Boles-Rice-history-meter. Quiz answers and explanations can be 4. The Rice Charter requires there to be a tree for every found on pages 10 and 11. student. 5. Former president George H. W. Bush was a professor at Rice in the Jesse H. Jones Graduate School of Manage- ment prior to becoming vice president under Reagan. 6. The stairs and halls of the Baker Institute were designed to confuse a terrorist. 7. Rice University once owned the leasing rights to Yankee Stadium, but was forced to sell it to the City of New York in the 70s. 8. Texas state law requires that Rice be registered as an official cemetery as William Marsh Rice is buried under- neath his statue in the academic quad. 9. When then-president George Bush came to Rice for the 1990 Economic Summit, the toilet in the President's Office in Lovett Hall was modified to make it more suitable for a real president. 10. The dirt removed from the ground when Rice Stadium was built was used to build the hill at Miller Outdoor Theater. 11. When Rice was founded, only white men were al- PHOTO COURTESY WOODSON RESEARCH CENTER lowed to attend. Eventually the charter was changed to allow women and black people to attend Rice.

Still thinking about Sophomore Engineers: studying abroad this spring? Don't Forget The application deadline for the International Internship Program is lllonday, nouember 10

ftrnf

Well, stop thinking, and ACT NOW!

The Rice application deadline is November 1* *and you must meet with a Study Abroad Advisor prior to this!! Applications can be downloaded at Questions? E-mail ahroadgrice. edu http://careers.rice.edu/ Or visit the International Programs weteite: www. ruf. rice. edu/~abroad/ 10 THE RICE THRESHER FEATURES FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 Yes, Rice really did own Yankee Stadium What's your John-Boles-Rice-history-meter score?

1 2. No concrete paths False: Campus walk- ways are pebble this is a encrusted for aesthetic campus residents only as Brown is eight stories tall.Those on the North reasons only. The origi- side tend to believe that the Brown nal walkways were family, when donating the money to crushed granite. How- pay for the college, specified that it ever, the granite would must always to be the tallest build- get stuck in shoes and ing on campus. This might debunk wear down the floors in the height myth, but it also raises many buildings such as another question: Is there any good the stairs in the en- reason why Sid Richardson College trances to Lovett Hall. has two floors per elevator stop other (5 points) than to make it a pain to move refrig- erators in and out? (3 points) THR£5H£« Rt€ PHOTO

3. Owls lived at Lovett College True: Rice owned two owls as its mascot as late as 4. A tree for every student 1991. They lived in a tree in the Lovett quad. When False: This is perhaps one of the most prevalent the last two owls died — one ran away, the other died myths on campus. You can even sometimes hear of of latent toxins from the Houston air — Sammy the a tree committee that meets once every ten years to Owl as we know him today became the dominant count all of the trees on campus and compare the mascot on campus feeding furry fantasies in fetishist number of trees to the number of students. Whi le its dorm rooms all over campus. It had become too nice to know some students think our campus is difficult and expensive to replace the owls due to wooded enough to support such a myth, there are more stringent government regulations regarding the not near as many trees at Rice as there are students care of wild and endangered animals — anew facility (4,600). It might have been close back in the 80s would have to be built to house the mascots and when there were about 4,000 trees on campus. students would have to be trained and on call to care After the 90s construction frenzy, there are many for the animals every hour of every day. (6 points) fewer, (2 points).

fl / rHfttSMEft ftif PHOTO

5. Professor Bush? 6. Baker was designed True: Former President George Herbert Walker to confuse a terrorist Bush was an Adjunct Professor of Administra- False: Really, do I need to ex- tive Science at the Jones School in 1978, the year plain this?Good terrorists know it opened. He reportedly taught in Hermann to get the floor plan of a build- Brown — at the time there was no mammoth ing before they infiltrate it. Jones School building to impress itself on any- Come on. (2 point) one. This is just more evidence to the fact that the

THRESHER FILE PHOTO senior Bush was the smart one. (7 points)

WM 7. Rice ownedYankee Stadium H S.Rice is True: Rice alumnus John Cox C27) gave False: Wbile several people are bur- his alma mater his ownership of Yankee ied on the Rice campus, no Texas law Stadium, including all leasing rights in requires Rice to be registered as a 1962. Rice made several million dollars cemetery. Who are the lucky ones with off the gift, leasing the House that Ruth their permanent resting place as Rice? Built to the Yankees for almost a decade. William Marsh Rice's ashes are under- In the winter of 1966, the stadium was neath his very own statue, and the painted blue and white. Coincidence? Cohens are both buried within the walls We think not. The City of New York of the Cohen House. And those are the eventually forced Rice to sell Yankee ones we know about. (3 points for Stadium in 1971 for the meager price of knowing Rice is not a cemetery, 7 for $2.5 million. (12 points) knowing the Cohens were buried in the Cohen House)

IHRkSHf.H Flit MH0I0 THE RICE THRESHER FEATURES FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2003

9. The Presidential Toilet True: The advance team for then-President Bush decided the toilet in then-Rice President George Rupp's office wasn't of acceptable quality for the President during the 1990 Economic Summit, ft was the original Lovett Hall toilet, almost eighty years old. At-first they asked the President's Office to replace the toilet, but when the President's way for Rice's enor- Office refused, on the understandable grounds stadium was banked that the toilet was in fine working condition, the up around the wails of the White House broke down and paid for a new toilet stadium, not used to make seat to be installed. That wasn't the only inconse- a giant hilJ at the Miller quential detail changed during the economic sum- Outdoor Theater. The sta- mit. According to the master of Rice history dium was the biggest one himself, Professor John Boles, the old Wiess in Houston when it was College was substantially changed to make it built. (4 points) more appealing to the eye since the window of PHOTO CDUKesy WOODSQK *€5€ARC« CEfiT HPMMf I Bush's Hermann office overlooked the loading dock. A wall complete with a line of shrubbery was constructed to make sure the president wouldn't have to see such a ghastly sight as the imtm Wiess loading dock, should he happen to glance out his window. (8 points)

* \

SAM SCHNUER/THRESHER * , j The John-Boles-Rice-History-meter THRESHER FILE PHOTO 1 to 15: Are you a Rice tour guide? Your knowledge (or lack there of) resembles that 11. Only white men were allowed to go to which you might find on a prospective tour. 16 to 30: You have potential for greatness, just try sobriety on for one day of the Rice when it opened week or at least look for institutional history at places other than the pub. False: The Rice charter specified that both white women 31 to 45: You've been around Rice for 25 years or more, not unlike one half of and men would be allowed to attend Rice. However, up Debbeggett. But don't worry, it took more than four years for over half of Rice's until the construction of Jones College, women were not first class to graduate — you deserve a victory lap too. allowed to remain on campus for the night. Blacks were not allowed to attend Rice until 1965. Rice was advanced 46 to 60: Either your name is John Boles or you are an archivist at the Woodson when it came to gender relations, but fell a wee bit short Research Center. Congratulations, you have a frightening mastery of Rice history. when it came to race. (4 points)

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WHAT? A $1000 scholarship endowed by Rice Gay and Lesbian Alumni Large one topping pizza will be awarded. 5 WHY? The Rice Gay and Lesbian Alumni Scholarship is designed to & one two liter Coke" encourage and reward leadership and service to the lesbian and gay community, both on campus and in the community at large. \>^c WHEN? The deadline for scholarship applications is FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2003 AT 5PM IN THE CLUBS OFFICE. $8.99

WHO? The scholarship is open to all Rice students, both undergraduate and graduate, without regard to race, gender, color, ethnicity, age, national origin, disability, or sexual orientation. Scholarships will be awarded on the basis of service to the lesbian and gay community, with special emphasis on contributions to the Rice community. Students can qualify for a scholarship through a wide range of activities, including leadership in organizations, scholarly research, and personal involvement in issues of concern to the lesbian and gay community. Callus! i HOW? Applications are available online at http: //www.ruf. rice.edu/ -stact/qala.html or they can be picked up in the Clubs Office.

For more information, contact We support Rice athletics. HOLLY WILLIAMS x5115 or hollyw0rice.edu Congratulations to the Rice Baseball Team! THE RICE THRESHER ADVERTISEMENT FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 —

Esther Update! a **Ss»8s. You will use the Esther system to register for classes for Spring 2004!

Esther is the new web-based information tool that students began using on Wednesday, October 15,2003.

All degree-seeking students, please note this important information...

You should have received an envelope containing the URL, your 9-character user ID, and your initial login PIN.

• If you are a grad student or an undergraduate professional...Check your mailbox at your academic department. • If you are an undergrade .Check your mailbox at your residential college (even if you don't actually live there!)

Please spend some time over the next few weeks exploring the site. We hope you will find it both informative and easy to navigate.

Registration begins on 11/17/03. Please adhere to the advising policies applicable to your student level. Remember, undergraduates are required to obtain a Registration, Add/Drop PIN prior to registering for classes.

Remember, all students are required to register for classes the week of November 17-23. Failure to do so will result in a $50 "Failure to Register" fee automatically being assessed to your account.

If you have questions about the login process, please contact reo&rice.edu.

If you have questions about the advising process, please contact [email protected].

Undergrads, please join the Office of the Registrar and the Office of Academic Advising for a question and answer session about the new Esther student information system. Items on the agenda include: • All About Esther • Login PINs and Processes New Advising Procedures • Registration, Add/Drop PINs Course Reference Numbers (CRNs) • Your Academic History On-line Priority Registration • Snacks will be provided Missed the session at your college this week? You're welcome to attend one of the remaining sessions as scheduled below. We'll look forward to seeing you in the college commons.

Jones Monday, October 27,2003 8:00 p.m. Sid Rich Monday, October 27,2003 9:00 p.m. Brown Tuesday, October 28,2003 8:00 p.m. Martel Tuesday, October 28,2003 9:00 p.m. Hanszen Monday, November 3,2003 8:00 p.m. THE RICE THRESHER ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2,2004 3 13

HOY MEET.s WORLD THE THRESHER'S RECOMMENDATIONS FOR EVENTS AROUND 'Peanuts' gallery's comments, music enough to drive show HOUSTON THROUGH Raj Wahi OCT: 30, 2003. THRESHER STAFF WiiVf' ££ /fife,- StfMttfc i Say what you will about Charles Schultz, the man certainly had a firm EDITORS grasp on the experiences of child- hood. His long-running comic strip picks Peanuts was remarkable for how well it depicted the confusing mixture of viciousness, vulnerability, generos- tomorrow ity and narcissism common to all children, whether loudmouthed bul- DEDICATED lies like Lucy van Pelt or soft-spo- FOLLOWER OF ken, blanket-clutching intellectuals like her brother Linus. As savagely FASHION funny as South Park is, I think Pea- nuts was truer. The Wearables Show presents a series of Jyou're a *ood man, wearable creations by chariie brown' female artists, along with W Lovett College music, art installations Rating: (out of five) and other points of Tonight and tomorrow at sensory interest. 8 p.m. $4 Rice-affiliated, $6 non-Rice. $5 admission includes one free cocktail. Doors The appeal of the Peanuts world at 8 p.m. at the Axiom alone is enough to make Clark KATIE STREIT/THRESHER 2524 McKinney St. Gesner's You're a Good Man, Charlie Snoopy (Jones College senior Matt Tramel) energizes the cast and audience with his hilarious canine numbers. Call (713) 522-4130 Brown worth seeing, but Lovett College's production of the play is life of Charlie Brown (Brown (Hanszen college sophomore Jon of to describe Lovett's production of for details. infused with so much good-natured College freshman Phillip Hodge), a Levy), an improbable combination Charlie Brown would be "bright." energy and genuine affection for the natural loser whose basic decency of erudition and thumb-sucking, The piano-driven music directed by Sid Richardson College senior An- tomorrow characters that 1 now understand is often obscured by his perpetual can't go more than a minute without for the first time how it is possible self-pity. His insecurity and social his security blanket. Charlie Brown's drew Einhorn establishes an upbeat for a musical to have even less of a klutziness have made him a lightning sister Sally (Baker senior Ryann tone for the play and fills the room FAKE IT UNTIL plot than A Chorus Line, yet still rod for ridicule at the hands of his Ferguson) is a high-strung girl with with a rich sound without drowning YOU MAKE IT be 10 times as fun. peers, especially the obnoxious Lucy abysmal grades and a tendency to out the actors' voices (except dur- From the first rumbling piano (Lovett freshman Becky Shim), who get tangled in her jump rope. Even ing the opening number, when is so complacent in her role as the Lucy, for all her arrogance, proves Hodge almost has to shout to make Ultimate Fakebook , chords of the now-famous Charlie Brown theme music, we can sense school bully that she actually tells to be surprisingly vulnerable in a himself heard over the orchestra). Pomeroy and Anything we're in for that rarest of experi- Charlie Brown she's going to play a sweet, funny scene where she con- The set, props and costumes have but Joey hammer out ences: a musical that knows how to trick on him before she does it. ducts a survey to find out whether been designed with an eye for bold, be pleasant without resorting to cloy- Of course, the other children she's a crabby person (Sally's reply vivid colors that lend an air of opti- some real music. ing sentimentality. have holes in their armor as well to the survey question gets one of mism to the play, even when things $8,-all ages at Fat Cat's, The play consists of a loose col- (something I didn't catch when I the play's biggest laughs). are going as wrong as possible for The best single word I can think See FUN, Page 16 4216 Washington Av,e.. lection of moments from a day in the read Peanuts as a kid). Linus Doors open at 8 p.m. Call (713)869-5263 HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME for more information. Singing a mostly sweet love song to Shakespeare Sunday

LOCAL FLAIR Raj Wahi Patrick Durham) is a strutting, THRESHER STAFF egotistical actor who doesn't have to I've heard people describe do much acting in order to make a Catch some of Houston's Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew as convincing Petruchio. Hisex-wife, IJlli craftiest folks slinging their a play about the battle of the sexes, but Yanessi (Brown College sophomore that's not quite accurate. It's really Melissa King), has a hair-trigger tem- wares. Interesting items about a battle between two preter- per and is perpetually threatening to from wearables to soap. naturally strong-willed individuals, leave the theater company to marry politico I-ovett College sophomore Free, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Kate and Petruchio, who (a) happen to be of opposite sexes and (b) have Harrison Howell, whose appeal as a at 1709 Westheimer St. sufficiently large egos to convince us, potential husband is revealed to be (behind Mixture Gallery at least temporarily, that their squab- virtually nonexistent in a scene where bling does indeed represent the, he plans his "wedding itinerary." and next to Brasil). age-old st niggle between all mankind Of course, the more Fred and Call (832) 483-9144 and all womankind. IJlli insist they hate one another, or send an e-mail the more we believe that maybe they're right for each other after all. [email protected] 'kiss me, kate' But first they have to make plent y of for more information. defiantly sexist remarks — set to Hanszen College music, of course. Rating: *** 1/2 (out of five) Naturally there is also a bickering couple on hand to play Shrew's Tonight and tomorrow, I.ucentio and Bianca: the hapless Bill Oct. 30, 31 and Nov. 1. Calhoun Clones College senior Justin All shows at 8 p.m. Ruths), whose gambling habits have except Oct. 25, at 10 p.m. $4 student. $6 Rice-affiliated, landed him deep in debt and deeper in $8 non-Rice. trouble with the mob; and flirtatious Ixiis Lane (Will Rice College sopho- more Lauren Holmes), who tries to Hanszen College's Kiss Me, Kate, soothe Bill's jealousy with a song titled accomplishes the neat trick of not "Always True to You (In My Fash- only reprising some of Shrew's most ion)." Also in the mix are an amus- famous scenes but also contriving a ingly blase stage manager fl^ovett PETER LEE/THRESHER relationship between two modern- sophomore Joe Lim), a flamboyant Lilli/Kate (Brown College sophomore Melissa King, left) and Fred/Petrucio day actors that follows an arc similar actor named Harry who plays Signor (University of Houston junior Patrick Durham) have fun with whips. to Kate's and Petruchio's. The writ- Baptista (Hanszen sophomore Rey ers, Samuel and Vaidez), and two gangsters (commu- Durham's duet with King in 'Hie set design by Will Rice senior Bella Spewack, nity member John Gremillion and Joe the catchy "Wunderbar," and Ian Garrett is at once elaborate and accomplish this via White (Sid '89) who unwittingly Gremillion's and White's exhortation efficient, wit h its array of red-curtained a play-within-a-play become Fred's real-life meansof "tam- to "Brush up Your Shakespeare" in a backdrops readily converted to dress- structure, in which ing" Iilli. song that ends up focusing rather ing-room interiors or street-corner a recently (and In terms of acting and technical improbably on strategies for exteriors with minimum down time none-too-amicably) achievements, there's a lot to impressing women. The orchestra, between scenes. The production staff divorced couple admire this production. Cole directed by Jones senior Emily and crew have assembled an impres- find themselves Porter's appealing, justifiably fa Senturia, provides solid support for sive collection of props. playing the leads in mous music score contains plenty the singers. Only once, during "We Martel College senior Aleza a production of of songs that highlight the singing Open in Venice," do the musicians Moore has skillfully choreographed Shrew. Fred Gra- abilities of the actors. Particularly have trouble synchronizing with the the musical numbers in a way that ham (University of memorable singers because of two or three tempo frequently makes use of the entire Houston junior are King's rendition of "I Hate Men." changes in rapid succession. See MUSIC, Page 16 THE RICE THRESHER AIVTS ft ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003

\ rui- A71 r.K SEW .vl Ml KM

COURTESY WARNER BROS. Sean (Kevin Bacon, left), a detective, questions Jimmy (Sean Penn, middle) and Annabeth (Laura Linney, right) about their daughter's murder. 'Mystic River' dives into characters' murky pasts Jonathan Schumann Dave may have committed the crime. THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF The situation is further complicated Too often, filmmakers do not al- when Sean, now a detective, is as- low their films to breathe. There signed to the case. are, for example, Paul Thomas Eastwood adopts a police thriller/ Anderson's movies (Boogie Nights, whodunit style, with Sean's investi- Magnolia and Punch-Drunk Love), gation and interrogations largely which seem to stuff a lifetime's worth driving the action. As suspicions of emotional strife and anguish into mount, the characters unravel. two and a half hours. Consider also Jimmy becomes a vortex of malice The Matrix-style action films, which and misdirected grief, Dave de- pride themselves on dizzying view- taches further from reality, and fear ers with visual whimsy. consumes Celeste. Mystic River offers some of the best performances seen in recent 'mvstic river' memory. As Jimmy shifts from a sympathetic to unsympathetic char- in theaters acter, Penn transfixes the audience. Rating: 1/2 His power is evident in one scene in (out of five) particular, when he sits on the porch at his daughter's wake and, as tears run down his face, tells Dave how he This is what makes Clint cannot cry for Katie's death. Eastwood's Mystic Rivera marvel of Robbins' portrayal is the film's restraint. At a time in cinema when strongest, and most deserving of COURTESY MIRAMAX bigger is often seen as better, this praise. In one particularly chilling Uma Thurman stars as the deadly assassin The Bride in this send-up to all things samurai. slow-paced, sincere exploration of scene, as Dave describes how he feels the ghosts of childhood that con- like a monster, Robbins goes from tinue to linger throughout life angry to hurt to apologetic—all while emerges as one of the year's best a terrified Harden looks on. Savvy directing keeps 'Kill Bill' alive films. While I found this restrained All scenes between Robbins and style refreshing, the slow rhythm may Harden are amazing to watch. They detract viewers accustomed to fast- work so well together, with much of Mike Mathews Tarantino to direct the movie towards erns (bawdy colors, juxtaposed paced, action-packed filmmaking. her performance relying not on dia- FOR THE THRESHER much deliberation, introspection, or flashbacks and a poignant The film focuses on Jimmy (Dead logue, but on facial expressions and When the titles of this movie preparation as a transition into the soundtrack). Over all of this he Man Walkings Sean Penn), Dave body movement. This role is a far roil, the first words we read are ensuing violence, as in a standard creates a new niche for the hero- (The Shawshank Redemption's Tim cry from her Oscar-winning work in "The 4th Film ot Quentin Charles Bronson movie orworse. (Re- ine by having her dive headfirst Robbins) and Sean (Apollo 13's Pollock, which resonated with force Tarantino." It takes an awful lot of member Jean Claude van Damme in into the pool of "masculine" atti- Kevin Bacon), three boyhood friends and power. Here she is wounded, clout and ambition to choose such Kickboxer?) No, Thurman walks right tudes and actions. Indeed, female who live in the same working-class frightened and wrought with grief. a title to lead a film, especially past this plot and to her first target, actors occupy most of the signifi- Boston neighborhood their entire when this is only Tarantino's eliminates it, then immediately and cant roles, several of which are lives. The film opens with a pro- fourth. nonchalantly moves on to the next. more than slightly testosterone- logue from the characters' childhood Mystic River She successfully chops up about half charged. days. The boys are playing hockey of the people on her "death list," but But this comes off as normal in offers some of we'll have to wait until Vol. 2 next the world created by the film, in in the streets, and as they write their 'kill bill vol.1' names in wet cement, two child spring to see her vengeance which antagonists associate with the best quenched. each other as if they were the best molesters impersonating police of- in theaters ficers drive up. Dave is the only one PERFORMANCES Rating: **** 1/2 The plot is very densely packaged. of friends and characters die how to get into their car. He is held in (out of five) An early draft of Tarantino's script Tarantino, not biological law, dic- the woods for four days before seen in recent filled several of the abrupt transitions tates. He sometimes filmed in escaping. This event creates inde- with explanations in the form of voice- black and white, emphasizing how scribable emotional distress for him, memory. But the filmmaker lived overs by The Bride; he has removed the physical intimacy of violence which penetrates the rest of the film up to the title. Unlike Peter most of them, leaving the audience to parallels that of sex, arid each and drives much of the central ac- In a crucial smaller part as Penn's Bogdanovich, continuing the blind assemble the puzzle themselves. The due! is not only a means of deter- tion. We next see Dave as a grown second wife Annabeth. Laura 1 inney promotion of Cybill Shepherd as the result is not an extravagant loss of mining a victor, but an end in man. He is haunting, with pale, pasty (You Can Count on Me) does not silver screen's greatest gift in Daisy control, but an unmitigated display of itself. skin and large bags under his eyes. Miller (1974), Tarantino has kept expertise that gives the film a richly There is neither time nor have much screen time, but still a Even his walk, a self-conscious his serpentine string of creativity in intellectual and sensual texture. motivation in this first installment manages to leave a lasting impres- w shuffle, reveals his inner pain. great shape throughout its fourth International avant-garde cinema to profoundly develop the charac- sion. She even steals the crucial final n< installment while simultaneously from the late 60s through the 80s, ters played by Thurman and Lucy While Dave is clearly a wounded scene from Penn. In a monologue of tii figure and seems to have never devastating intensity, Linney appears providing his favorite female star, along with a gamut of pop-culture Liu while this bizarre but shock- Pi moved past his abuse (it is no as a modern-day Lady Macbeth, and Uma Thurman, with a shocking, icons, inspire Kill Bill Vol. l's style. ingly coherent world unravels. Yet ai coincidence that Dave is the only causes audience members to recon- quaint and perversely refreshing role. What makes this concoction laud- these characters are especially C one of the three boys who never sider what they have thought of Jimmy There is not much to say about able is that Tarantino never takes challenging to portray because they Pi finished writing his name in the ce- for the entire film. Best Supporting this movie in terms of premise or himself seriously, yet never drags his must convey physical grace and S( ment) , the event is a distant memory Actress Oscars are made for perfor- multilayered characters. Uma movie down to a farcical level. Re- act seriously and effectively in an ai for Jimmy, who now runs a conve- mances like this. Thurman plays The Bride, an as- gardless of the extent to which the obviously absurd world. *1 nience store in the neighborhood. With Mystic River, Eastwood has sassin who gets shot down at her often ludicrously wanton bloodbath The Motion Picture Association Si One night, his daughter Katie returned to a quieter kind of wedding by her double-crossing may amplify the humor, such scenes of America apparently could not (Songcatcher's Emmy Rossum) does filmmaking, comparable to his mas- lover and boss, Bill, and the rest are offset by the recollection grasp this intended absurdity when not comes home, and tragically her terpiece, Unforgiven. While his other of his bunch, the Deadly Viper of the movie's opening close-up: they were initially inclined to give ul dead body is discovered the next Assassination Squad (DiVAS). Of labored breathing over black Kill Bill an NC-17 rating due to the recent films have been effective y< day. Jimmy erupts with grief, anger genre thrillers, Absolute Power and course she does not perish, but followed by The Bride's mangled and fountains (literally) of blood ac- in and a thirst for vengeance. Blood Work being the most fun, she loses her unborn child and, bloodied face. companying severed limbs and or- d Mystic River is a return to "serious" when she wakes from a coma four Tarantino has created a revenge gans. Likewise, whether or not The night of Katie's death, Dave di filmmaking. It is a masterpiece of years later and realizes this, she story on which he piles staples of you will enjoy this movie depends comes home covered in blood, claim- Pi precise acting, astute directing and resolves to wipe out Bill and his Asian martial-arts cinema (succeed- on how much effort you expend to ing he was mugged and fought off st patient editing that will surely be cronies. ing levels of opponents and sacred avoid simplifying the film down to the attacker. When his wife Celeste lo remembered as a contemporary It would be too unnatural for vows) blended with spaghetti-west- face value. (Pollocks Marcia Gay Harden) hears in American classic. of Katie's death, she is terrified that st THE RICE THRESHER ARTS 6 ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY,, OCTOBER 24, 2003 15

I.OSEl.)' ~h'A\(,Ek Quirks and tics make film a New Jersey spaghetti western Jonathan Schumann THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Sometimes the best films come in quaint, unassuming packages. In the last few years, independent cin- ema has offered memorable, touch- ing movies that — though small on cost — are more entertaining than many Hollywood blockbusters. From the last year alone, audiences laughed at the short and silly Tadpole, were captivated by the complicated characters in Personal Velocity and identified with Jennifer Aniston's angst in The Good, Girl.

'the station agent'

in theaters Rating: ***# (out of five)

This year, most of the exciting and acclaimed films have been indepen- dents— Thirteen and.American Splen- dor are two of the year's best-reviewed films. Now comes The Station Agent, an intimate and moving comedy that will surely win audiences over. Writer/directorTom McCarthy has created three unique, multi-layered characters whose interaction pro- vides the film's sole action and plot. IP When chainsaw- wielding maniacs

and pro-wrestlers- COURTESY MIRAMAX turned-actors Left to Right: Fin (Peter Dinklage), Olivia (Patricia Clarkson) and Joe (Bobby Cannavale) get to know each other as they explore the tracks in New Jersey. As the three characters interact, also stars) McCarthy chose to shoot comedy. After Fin delivers a heavy sole emotional weight and power. invade the they gradually get to know each on real film and not go digital. This monologue regarding his love for Clarkson, who has delivered CINEPLEX, it's time other, and the audience slowly sees proved to be a wise decision, giving trains and his desire to go "train- memorable performances as a drug- their layers. Fin's world-weariness, the movie a distinct visual scheme. chasing," Joe takes his new friend addicted German lesbian in High for a soft, quiet Olivia's scattered brain and Joe's McCarthy often utilizes long shots on the adventure.The audience sees Art and as Julianne Moore's sassy unassuming swagger are super- of the New Jersey landscape to evoke a steaming locomotive charge best friend in Far From Heaven, character study. ficial — beneath these personas lie images of the genre Western; these forward, and Joe's hot dog van wows here again. As Olivia, Clarkson complex individuals. McCarthy and would be lost with digital film's ten- follows next to the track, with Joe is different than she has ever been the actors invested much in these dency to appear blurry. and Fin inside, videotaping the train before and makes Olivia's highs and Fin (Living In Oblivion's Peter relationships, which as the film This is not the only aspect of The and laughing like crazy. It is a classi- lows touching, sad and believable. Dinklage, a dwarf himself) is a train- progresses become textured and Station Agent that harkens back to cally funny moment not just because Providing much of the film's comic obsessed dwarf from Hoboken, New harder to define in simple terms. As that genre — just look at the general of the ridiculous nature of the situa- relief is Cannavale as the simple- Jersey. After his only friend, with Olivia says to Fin in a moment of acute plot. A man, a dwarf more specifically, tion, but because of the actors' minded but loving Joe. His is a whom he worked at a toy train store, aggravation, "Fin, I am not your girl- disconnected from society traverses honest laughter and excitement. memorable, humorous performance. dies, Fin inherits a railroad station in friend and 1 mil not your mother." an unknown landscape (here it is the In such a character-driven film, When chainsaw-wielding mani- neighboring Newfoundland, N.J. and McCarthy proves to have an ear for New Jersey landscape) and affects performances are key. In the lead acs and pro-wrestlers-turned-actors moves in. Here he meets Olivia (Far dialogue — this is perhaps the only the new people he encounters. role, Dinklage is a marvel. Like many invade the cineplex, it's time for a From Heavens Patricia Clarkson), a way to describe their relationship. While the film spends most of its of cinema's best actors, his facial soft, quiet character study. manic-depressed artist, and Joe Unlike many new independent time examining these characters and expressions do wonders. There are The Station Agent possesses the (Bobby Cannavale of TV's Third films (like the upcoming Sundance their relationships with each other, many quiet, still moments where unique charm to win over serious Watch), a hot dog salesman. hit Pieces of April, in which Clarkson it also proves to be a winning Dinklage's face carries the scene's moviegoers who seek substance.

INTERVIEW WITH A NON-VAMPIRE Searching for funds for indie film only second hardest part of production Jonathan Schumann dios, they all liked the script, but decide to shoot digitally rather than reacted to him" and then decided cerned, Cannavale said its success THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF had reservations ... no stars and a on real film Jennifer Jason Leigh to re-write, Cannavale said. was "instantaneous — there was a After taking audiences and crit- dwarf in the lead." and Alan Cumniing's The Anniver- After finishing the film, McCarthy standing ovation after its first screen- ics by storm at the Sundance Film During these three years of sary Party, for example). McCarthy, decided to enter it in the Sundance ing." From there, the film became a Festival earlier this year, the new searching for financing, McCarthy who makes his directorial debut, Film Festival, the foremost venue word-of-mouth hit, and filled up the comedy The Station Agent appears work-shopped the script with his felt strongly about staying with real for new, original independents, held 1,300 seat Eckles Center, with a line poised to become a word-of-mouth actors. "By the time we shot it, [the film. "This is a landscape film, it is every year in Park City, Utah. This down the street outside. "I did not sensation, much as other Sundance subject matter] really wasn't funny hard to capture that with digital," was Cannavale's first visit to the fes- want to leave Utah," Cannavale joked hits like You Can Count on Me and any more," Cannavale said of the Cannavale said. McCarthy eventu- tival, and his first time to see the about the experience. The Brothers McMullan did. The film film's mix of light and dark subject- ally chose to shoot in 16mm film, completed film. "I had no idea what The success reached even (see review, above) centers around matter. When the group finally got and then blow it up to 35mm. His to expect," Cannavale said of the greater heights when Miramax a dwarf named Fin (Peter Dinklage) money — a scant $400,(XX) from concentration on the landscape festival. Chairman Harvey Weinstein flew in who moves to a railroad station in a SenArt Films — they began to feel evokes memories of director John to have a private screening of the new town and influences the various the pressure. Ford's genre Westerns. Cannavale film. He then bought the film for new faces he meets, including a de- "It was hardest after we got the asserted that the film's plot followed "I got off the bus distribution. At the close of the fes- pressed artist (Patricia Clarkson) money... we knew what we had to do this genre's outline. "A silent guy tival, The Station Agent picked up and a chatty hot dog vendor (Bobby with it." And they only had 20 days to walks into town, changes all around on Main Street, three awards: the Audience Award for Cannavale). I had an opportunity to do it. As is the case with many inde- him, and he has a funny sidekick Best Picture; Best Actress (Patricia participate in a question and answer pendents (Thirteen was filmed in 19 too." The silent guy here is Fin, and and Pauly Shore Clarkson); and Best Screenplay (Tom session with Cannavale following an days), when the money is tight, there Cannavale'sjoe is the amusing coun- gave me a FLYER McCarthy). advance screening of the film. He is no time for lengthy, costly shoots. terpart. As for Cannavale, who at the age spoke of making the film, the The Station Agent is a largely for his movie, I of 32 has been acting for 15 years, Sundance experience and indepen- character- and performance-driven but "only started making money four dent film today. "They all liked the film, so the casting was key. then asked years ago." the experience has been The Station Agent, only 88 min- script, but had Cannavale said McCarthy wrote [Dinklage], 'Do invaluable. After making appear- utes long, is the culmination of three the three lead parts specifically for ances on television's Ally McBeal years of work-shopping and search- RESERVATIONS ... him, Dinklage and Clarkson, each we have flyers?'" and Third Watch, Cannavale is "read- ing for financing. Cannavale, who is of whom hails from New Jersey ing a lot more scripts" and has landed close friends with the film's writer/ no stars and a and has a theater background. In- his first large supporting role in a director Tom McCarthy, and was terestingly, it was not until He described it as an unforget- big studio film, Shall We Dance?. present for much of the planning dwarf in the lead." McCarthy met Dinklage that Fin table, surreal experience. "I got off which will co-star Jennifer Lopez, stages, described the difficultly of became a dwarf in the script: After the bus on Main Street, and Pauly Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon looking for money when shopping a Another issue that arises with a writing several drafts with Fin as a Shore gave me a flyer for his movie, and will come out next year. unique script. "We went to all the limited budget is what type of film to normal-sized person, McCarthy I then asked [Dinklage],'Do we have The Station .Agent is currently studios, big studios and small stu- use. Many independent filmmakers met Dinklage and "saw how people flyers?'" As far as the film is con- playing at Landmark River Oaks. .

THE RICE THRESHER ARTS * ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2003 I'.l.l-. MI'W T. \R)' / A",' -' i ,/'A Bitter 'Shrew' taints 'Kate'

Safe production of classic manages fine MUSIC, froi«. "age 13 But the actors and the produc- cast without crowding the stage. tion team cannot be blamed for Ian Garrett Several dance numbers manage flaws in the script, and under THRESHER STAFF to achieve an impressive level of Hanszen junior Stacey Frankle's The general theory is that when complexity by rotating groups of direction they consistently make the economy is doing well, the arts six or so performers on and off the most of the material. are better funded, and greater the stage. Solo dances by Moore King, as Lilli/Kate, is a chances are taken with the material and Brown College freshman delight to watch as she paces the presented. The converse is also as- Amy Richter highlight the musi- stage with a snarl on her face, sumed to be true; with a down-turned cal numbers late in the play and practically daring the hapless economy, and especially in a coun- make up for some of the dancers' Harry/Baptista to come within try more or less at war, the arts tentative approaches to the 10 feet of her. Durham, whose suffer. In this situation, theaters earlier numbers. powerful voice is a perfect match tend to resort to a fairly stock set of The few weaknesses in the for King's, shows a knack for choices including small shows, musical arise from the Shakes- comic timing as Fred/Petruchio. comedy/musicals and generally safe peare play it is based on. I've Holmes makes a good Bianca, bal- options. While not what anyone always found Taming of the Shrew ancing coyness with good-natured m "" would call bad, Sherlock Holmes at to be more unpleasant than funny, amusement; her dancing is the Alley fits in here: It is safe. and inevitably this is the tone uncertain at first, but once she that comes across in the scenes hits her stride she's great. And, where Fred and Lilli act out ihe of course, there are the scene- 'sherlock holmes' roles of Petruchio and Kate. One stealing gangsters played by moment, in which Fred pins a Gremillion and White, who only W Alley Theatre flailing Lilli to the stage, is espe- seem dangerous until they're in Rating: *-kit (out of five) cially squirm-inducing. There is the same room as Fred and lilli. an almost infinitesimally thin line After that, they gradually accept Through Nov. 2 between black comedy and their new roles as comic relief $20-52. guys who can't find their way out I visit www.alleytheatre.org outright ugliness, and whenever the script for Shrew crosses the of the theatre, and decide to sing line, Kate necessarily follows suit to the audience instead. I The only authorized adaptation of the story of the famed detective on Baker Street invented by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes was written by William Gillette. Gillette both originated the role and defined it for nearly iO years, and the popular conception of Sherlock Holmes probably owes

more to his characterization than to COURTESY ALLEY THEATER the original stories themselves. Sherlock Holmes (Todd Waite, left) pontificates to his trusty sidekick Dr. The tales of Sherlock Holmes, cen- Watson (Jeffrey Bean). ter around the extraordinarily percep- tive (and occasional-cocaine-addicted) observant gumshoe, though some- ish Victorian London. Accented with title detective, his good friend and times he seems so frantic that the Rui Rita's (The Invention of I^ove) accomplice Dr. Watson and his arch- cocaine discussion towards the end detailed and skillfully elaborate nemesis, master criminal Professor of the first act seems necessary to lights and Fabio Toblini's (The In- Moriarty. This tale never strays from explain the speed at which Sherlock vention ofljjve) rich costumes, the the formula, with the mystery here unravels his explanations. setting is beautiful and wonderfully revolving around the acquisition of a Jeffrey Bean (Stones in His Pock- detailed. bundle of damning letters that are ets) and Elizabeth Heflin (The Goat) In the end, what keeps Sherlock preventing a continental royal, Count are much more comfortable in their Holmes from living up to the potential Von Stalburg, from marrying with a roles as Dr. Watson and Alice of its cast and crew comes not from clean conscience. Written to his Faulkner, sister ofthe defamed lover any lack of talent, but from a lack of former lover, and now in her sister's and heroine, and they even out each daring. If you watch theater simply to possession after his lover's death, other nicely. James Black (Who's be entertained, you will be. If you go the letters spark revenge and black- Afraid of Virginia Woolf?) does a instead to be challenged and engaged mail, causing the Count to put fantastic job as Professor Moriarty Sherlock Holmes probably won't ac- Holmes on the case. and sells the evil genius all the way. complish this. A smash hit at the turn The cast is filled to the brim with However, it is John Tyson (You Can't of the century, the play's dialogue, the Alley's resident company of ac- Take it With You) as Sidney Prince, humor and many of its themes are tors, and there a lot of talent. Todd the blind one-armed safe cracker, dated, but by no means lost on anyone Waite {The Goat or Who is Sylvie?) is who steals every scene he is in with in the audience. the titular detective. I can't really excellent comedic timing. Accents are competent and most imagine the company having a sec- The set is one of the most techni- scenes are believable and good fun, ond thought about the casting here cally ambitious the Alley has ever though the climax comes and goes CARLY KOCUREK/THRESHER though: The moment I heard attempted. With five completely much too quickly. Sherlock Holmes is Sherlock Holmes was coming to the different locations on the turntable a decent escape for a little over two While my steel guitar gently weeps Alley, I could have told you Waite of the Alley's large Hubbard stage, hours, and if that gets people into the would play him. This is not to say he designer Vincent Mountain (One theater in this rough time for the arts, James Haas plays the steel guitar at the 6 parts 7 show at Fat Cats isn't good; Waite's nervous energy Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Jekyll it's definitely bearable, but lets hope Monday night. The duo plays ethereal post-rock instrumental. works fairly effectively as the ever and Hyde) takes us all across a lav- things don't stay so fluffy. R R A Good show, Charlie Brown FUN, from Page 13 World War I flying ace. At first it's a tattered sails at any time and under Fr the characters. I>ovett senior Leesie bit strange when one realizes that any circumstances. When she se Pool's costumes are true to the the actor playing Snoopy is the tall- shakes Hodge's hand at the very simple, solid colors worn by the char- est member of the cast, but once end and says, "You're a good man, acters in Schultz's comic strip, and Tramel opens his mouth to sing, no Charlie Brown," Shim actually con- we smile in recognition at the yel- one will argue with the decision to vinces us Lucy is making a sincere low-and-black Charlie Brown outfit cast him as the high-spirited beagle. gesture of friendship — it's one of that resembles nothing so much as Of all the people on stage, Tramel the best moments in the play. a Pac-Man with fangs. seems to be having the most fun. Normally I'm reluctant to see, The brightness of the actors' per- let alone recommend, a play or P formances matches that of their sur- musical with no narrative struc- roundings. All the actors are solid His insecurity ture to speak of. In this case, yt and sharply drawn, but three in par- though, it doesn't matter. One of 0 ticular stand out: Shim, Ferguson, and social the reasons is that Snoopy is a and Jones College senior Matt badass. Another is that Schultz's Tramel as Charlie Brown's dog klutziness have characters have a way of creating Snoopy. These three actors get a moments that stand on their own, great deal of mileage out of their made him a such as when Linus uses the inter- voices alone; in addition to being lightning rod national date line to construct a good singers, they know how to be weirdly compelling argument that incredibly loud, which is essential for RIDICULE at tomorrow might very well be just I W( to their characters' personality. the hands of his as bad as today. I i>l; Ferguson taps into a seemingly Agood deal of the credit for this I <•« inexhaustible supply of energy for peers. musical's success goes to the cast th such rapid-fire musical numbers as and crew; every detail of their pro- I ba "Rabbit Chasing" and "My New duction indicates they enjoyed the I Ivy Philosophy," while Tramel's solos Shim, meanwhile, does a good opportunity to recall childhood ex- in "Snoopy" and "Suppertime" are job of bringing out the insecurity periences both hopeless and I af perfect musical showcases for the underlying iAicy's bullying behav- happy, and their infectious enthu- I da grandiose antics of the only beagle ior, even as she flaunts her ability to siasm is the most compelling rea- Ev in history to imagine himself as a suck the wind out of Charlie Brown's son to see Charlie Brown. I nc Page 17 THE RICE THRESHER Friday, October 24, 2003

Owls score road wins *m * * by Scott Selinger the first two games," Goodwin THRESHER STAFF said. "Then they picked up their service intensity, and we really After winning three of its last didn't have an answer to their li•#s» four away games, the volleyball slide attack down the stretch." #^Lj team showed that its struggles Hoban led the way for Rice away from Autry Court are over. against SMU, tallying 59 assists, The three victories improve 11 digs and knocking down 8 kills Rice's Western Athletic Confer- on 17 attempts with no errors. Up ence record to 4-3 on the season. front, freshman Tessa Kuykendall "i ' l&J rgs % , '* v; >> «• Rice's most crucial win on its made a strong showing in the 4<: -- . .> 4b $£ t * Zv i , m fry i recent road travels was a 3-2 win middle, hitting .471 and leading , ' $ . y | ' S? & A ^ ' Saturday at the University ofTulsa. the team with four block-assists. . * W-v" .M

Jon Wilson on personal leave. its run of road games came Oct. 9 ... „ . MARSHAL: . L ROBINSON/THRESHE. . .R The Owls' defense pulled at Louisiana Tech University in a Freshman swimmer Denise Bear competes in the 3xl00-yard butterfly relay at the Bayou City Relays Friday at the them through against Tulsa, as three-game sweep. Rice Pool. Rice and Tulane mixed their swimmers to form relay teams for the lighthearted meet. seniors Rhonda Sigman and "There were moments when Rebekah Neal, juniors Lindsey we were as good a team as we've Carter and Rebeca Pazo and been all year, as far as our perfor- sophomore Kristina Hoban all manceon the court," Goodwin said. recorded double-digit digs. Hitting .667 with 42 assists Swimmers dominate Aquathon "Our defense was very good," and 12 digs, Hoban was the star Goodwin said. "We've raised our of the match with her fifth double- by Debbie Miller Wave to race in a fun, yet competitive 50:22, followed by Bichman in 51:03. Sophomore Meghan Brown and jun- digs per game to about 20, and double of the year. Junior THRESHER STAFF atmosphere, as all four teams finished that's doing some serious work." Rebecca Kainz came out strong within four points of each other. Team iors Keith, Corrie Kristick and Jenny Undefeated at home going into at the net, slamming down nine The swim team opened its sea- three, which included four Rice jun- Voight rounded out the top group of their match against second-ranked kills on 21 attempts with no er- son with a western road trip and two iors — co-captain Adi Bichman, Rice swimmers. University of Hawaii last night, the rors. Co-captain Pazo recorded victories Oct. 10-11, beating Colo- Jane Keith, Urska Ros and Kiana "It was a great way to get out squad will face San Jose State Uni- another double-double off 13 kills rado State University 145-117 and Taheri — came out on top. there and race — be challenged in a versity tomorrow at 2 p.m. and 10 digs to bring the Owls the crushing the University of Wyoming Rice then dominated the first- different way than normal," head Rice is now halfway through win over the Eastern Division foe. 141-96. The Owls then returned ever collegiate Aquathon Saturday coach Seth Huston said. "It was a the WAC season and trails South- "We did well, but we definitely home to compete in two friendly at The Reef lake in southwest Hous- good early-season thing to do, and in ern Methodist University in the could've done better," Hoban said. competitions both with and against ton. The Aquathon began with a the future I would like to invite more Eastern Division standings. "We usually do really well in the Tulane University Oct. 17-18. two-mile open-water swim, followed teams to make it into a more impor- "The level of play has come up first games and then have trouble Rice opened its home season Fri- by a one-mile run and concluded tant, bigger event." in the East from last year, but I in the rest of the match, and that's day with the Bayou City Relays at with another two-mile open-water The Owls are now in the midst of think that we've raised our level something that's hard to fix." the Rice Pool. Tulane and Rice com- swim. The meet was scored similar what Huston calls October training as well," said Goodwin. "I don't That pattern was reversed in a bined to form four separate relay to a cross country meet, with the camp, but the women will be back in think we have aglaring weakness." non-conference game against teams, with Rice and Tulane swim- top eight finishers from each team racingaction when they host the Hous- SMU is in first place because McNeese State University mers intermingled. The swimmers earning points. ton Hilton Plaza Rice Invitational of the Mustangs' 3-2 win over Rice Oct. 14, as the Owls corralled the competed in non-traditional relay Senior Jackie Corcoran led the way, Nov. 7-8. Rice will host the University Oct. 11 in Dallas. The loss was Cowgirls in four games. events, including the 6x50-yard claiming the individual championship of Arkansas, Texas Christian Univer- especially painful for the Owls be- "Overall, we took care of busi- kickboard relay and the crescendo in just 49 minutes, 41 seconds. Rice sity and Washington State University. cause they blew a 2-0 lead. ness when we had to, but it wasn't relay (50-100-150-200). finished by filling six of the first seven "[The meet] will be a very com- "We came out and played a the best brand of ball we've played The strange event schedule and spots ii» the event Tulane's Nicole petitive meet," Huston said. "We really good brand of volleyball all year," Goodwin said. meshing of the teams was an effective Taheri, the younger sister of Rice's brought these teams in knowing it way to get both the Owls and Green Kiana Taheri, took second place in See SWIMMIMG, Page 19 Football travels in search of first-ever win against Fresno State game — the offense was not able to score a "They still want to run the football, and by Dylan Hedrick team season-high 13 tackles against Navy, said the team can still turn its season around, touchdown, and the defense could not put a after seeing Navy run the football I'd be crazy THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF starting with this weekend's game. halt to Navy's drives until the end of the game. to think they wouldn't try it, too," Hatfield said. The football team travels to California for "We've had some eye-openers in seeing "We just haven't been playing with enough "They started the year with five new offensive tomorrow's game at 6p.m CDT against West- things that we've done wrong," Calahan said. intensity anu enough fire," Calahan said. "Ob- linemen, and their quarterback didn't play for ern Athletic Conference foe Fresno State "We've shown times of greatness. If we get viously they're disappointed, but people [on the first five weeks. He's back, and their line- University. everything on all cylinders, there's no doubt in the team] think we can turn this around." men are a lot more experienced. They're a lot Rice (1-5, 1-1 WAC) has never beaten my mind that we can win out. We still have a Calahan's optimism may not be shared by tougher to play." Fresno State and has not won on the road this chance to win the WAC and go to a bowl and the college football community, but Rice has a Rice must also stop Pinegar, who is re- season, while the Bulldogs (3-4, 1-1 WAC) have a better next half." chance against the Bulldogs if they can stop turning from a torn chest muscle which has have suffered consecutive losses against Ha- This season, Fresno State has been espe- halfback Dwayne Wright, who already has sidelined him since mid-August. In the only waii and Colorado State. cially tough at Bulldog Stadium — all of their 500 rushing yards on the season, highlighted two games he has played this season, he has wins have come at home. Spoiling Fresno's by 177 yards against Louisiana Tech. The collected 353 passing yards and three touch- homecoming weekend will be tough, how- defense will also have to remain strong late in downs. ever, as Fresno has beaten Rice in all four the game, as Fresno State has scored 133 of its "I think he is doing better," Fresno State 11 Bulldog Stadium I is a hard meetings between the teams, including last 174 points in the second half. Hatfield said head coach Pat Hill said at a press conference year's dramatic 31-28 victory at Rice Stadium. getting aggressive penetration from the de- last Monday. "He has three weeks under his place to play. Its not a place "[Bulldog Stadium] is a hard place to fensive line against a young offensive line will belt and he is just about back. I'm looking for play," Hatfield said. "It's not a place you be key to slow the Bulldog attack. a big game this week. I feel he's ready to do it." you pencil in to take your wife pencil in to take your wife on vacation. They are a good, solid home football crowd. I on vacation' don't think they'll do anything to diminish WEEKLY SPORT'S SCHEDULE — Ken Hatfield their reputation. [The Fresno State crowd] Head football coach is an aggressive bunch, and that's to their Where and when to support Rice Athletics credit. They make it good for their team and tough on their opponent." Like Rice Stadium, the student section sits Sat. 10/25 2 p.m. Volleyball vs. San Jose State (Autry Court) "This is a good Fresno team that has had a directly behind the visiting team bench. Calahan Sat.-Sun. all day Powderpuff Week 6 (Powderpuff Field) week off," head coach Ken Hatfield said. "They've said he expects the Fresno State students to be 10/25-6 Saturday — 3: Lovett-Brown; played Tennessee and Oklahoma, and beat Or- out in full force to ridicule the Owls. Sunday — 5: Sid-Baker; 7: Wiess-Hanszen egon State—which is a good football team—so "They have a lot of fans that heckle you a Thurs. 10/30 7 p.m. Volleyball vs. SMU (Autry Court) they're not awed by us coming to town. Quarter- lot," Calahan said. "The student section right Friday 10/31 8 p.m. Halloween Hoops (Autry Court) back [Paul Pinegar] is back now, and they have behind us runs their mouths pretty good. You The Rowdy Ow/s sponsor the annual preseason [wide receiver Bernard] Berrian back." just have to block that out. The football players basketball event featuring both varsity basketball run their mouths pretty good too. but I think The Owls are hoping to rebound with a win teams and a raffle for a DVD player. that actions speak louder than words." after their humiliating 38-6 home loss Satur- 2 p.m. Football vs. Nevada (Rice Stadium) day against the United States Naval Academy. The Owls must concentrate on picking up Sat. 11/1 Even with the 1-5 start to the season, junior their intensity level in comparison to Saturday's 7 p.m. Volleyball vs. Louisiana Tech (Autry Court) noseguard Jeremy Calahan, who collected a loss. The Owls looked flat for much of the 18 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 Soccer team rides three-game winning streak to California

by Jonathan Yardley Although Rice beat two of the THKESHEK EDITORIAL STAFF conference's weaker teams at home last weekend with a 3-1 win Friday Just like the football team, the against the University of Nevada and soccer team heads to California this a 2-1 overtime triumph Sunday weekend. against Boise State, Huston said she Unlike the football team, the soc- was not entirely pleased with the cer team is playing the best it has in performances. its three-year history, putting "I didn't think we played our best together three consecutive wins and this weekend," Huston said. "Maybe five wins in its last six games. that's a good sign when you can not The Owls (7-7-1,4-2 Western Ath- play your best and still win." letic Conference) clinched a spot in Sunday's game was the more dra- the WAC tournament with Sunday's matic of the two, as Rice conceded overtime win over Boise State Uni- a 62nd-minute goal against the run versity, and Rice can solidify the of play. The Owls responded late in third seed with wins this afternoon the match, as sophomore defender against San Jose State University Erin Droeger served a cross into and Sunday against Fresno State the box and freshman midfielder University. Maria Fadool met it at the penalty The top two seeds get byes, but spot, deftly touched the ball past head coach Chris Huston said the the goalkeeper and slotted it home third seed is important so to tie the score. that Rice faces the weakest tourna- Rice dominated play, forcing ment team in the first round and seven saves from Boise State goal- stays away from meeting SMU, the keeper Kim Parker, and found the host, two-time defending champion game-winner seven minutes into and likely top seed in the semifi- sudden-death overtime with scintil- nals. Huston said she expects the lating ball movement. team to use history as motivation Freshman midfielder Vanessa for this weekend's games. Serrano played a long ball from behind the halfway line to redshirt sophomore forward Ashley Ander- son down the left sideline. Ander- 4 son pulled up and crossed the ball Maybe that's a good to the top right side of the box for »•; sign when you can Fadool, who did well to turn and play the ball toward the penalty not play your best spot. Junior forward Becky MacAllister slid to poke the ball and still win/ past a charging Parker for her first — Chris Huston career goal. "I was a bit ahead of my girl, and Head soccer coach I just had to get it toward the goal, where Becky was making a perfect MATT CRNKOVICH/THRESHER run in," Fadool said. "You could Sophomore midfielder Angela Furin (12, right) screams at the referee over a disputed handball while junior forward "There's good motivation be- see it develop at the very begin- Sarah Yoder fights for the ball. Although no handball was awarded, Rice beat Boise State Sunday 2-1 in overtime. cause San Jose State is where we got ning — it was cool to watch what our first-ever conference win [in was happening and say, 'She's go- Shockley made four saves for the WAC lead in fewest goals allowed in last season, but the Owls turned in 2001], and we've never beaten ing to get it to me, and I've got to do win and maintained her lead in the conference games (5) but is tied for what Huston, Droeger and Fadool Fresno State — on the road or at my part.'" WAC goals-against average race with fifth in the nine-team conference in said was its best performance of home," Huston said. Junior goalkeeper Lauren a mark of 0.80. Rice is tied for the goals scored in conference play (7). the season in a 1-0 overtime win. The Boise State match was Rice's Shockley made four saves to earn final home game of the season, and her fourth shutout, and Furin took YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT Rice finished with a 6-1-1 home only six minutes after entering the record, equaling its home win total game in overtime to blast a 30-yard FOR THAT HIGH PAYING JOB from the first two seasons combined. game-winner. Senior midfielder Kristen TO AFFORD THE ORIGINAL SUV Lindsay started and turned in a solid performance to celebrate her three- year career at Rice after ' You could see [the transferring from Auburn at the soccer program's inception in 2001. goal I develop at the It was the two freshmen midfielders, however, who made the very beginning — it biggest difference last weekend. was cool to watch was Serrano is the most consistent offen- sive playmaker in central midfield, happening while Fadool has played on the right, — Maria Fadool in the middle and at stopper. * » X3 Serrano stepped up in the second Freshman midfielder half of Friday's game against Ne- vada, with Rice leading 1-0 on a fluke k , in i j Droeger goal from 40 yards away. "I thought the UTEP game was Just after halftime, Serrano con- our best game," Droeger said. "Play- nected with junior midfielder Marisa ing close games like that will help us Galvan on a perfect give-and-go on not only for future close games, but the left sideline, and Galvan placed a with our stamina." simple cross to the back post, where UTEP is likely to finish second in junior forward Sarah Yoder headed it the regular season behind SMU, but home for her third game-winning goal Rice has proven it can play with the of the season. top teams. The Owls lost just 1-0 to Nevada cut the deficit to 2-1 with SMU Oct. 10 in Dallas and had more a free kick that got through the Rice shots on goal than the I^ady Mus- wall, but the Owls answered back tangs by a 5-4 count. SMU star Kim with some energetic substitutes. Harvey scored the game's only goal In the 85th minute, freshman in the 67th minute. forward Callye Dannheim used her "1 think wecould've done better fresh legs from the bench to reach than we did against SMU," Fadool the right corner and send in a cross said. "(After last weekend,] we nobody could connect on. Serrano need to focus more on the field settled the ball on the left wing, with putting away our opportuni- waited for her teammates to get ties. We let a team stay with us, and onside and floated a near-post ball. we give them an opportunity to Sophomore midfielder Angela stay in the game when we Right now we have a great selection of Land Rover Service Loaners very attractively priced. Furin, another substitute, reached shouldn't. That leads into overtime, All vehicles have never been titled, are low mileage, and have the remaining balance of the ball first on the half-volley and and we have to work that much lobbed the onrushing goalkeeper harder to get the win." a 4 year/50,000 mile factory warranty. to seal the win. Rice hopes to avoid overtime this m "They weren't incredibly great afternoon against San Jose State, one performances," Fadool said. "We of the conference's bottom teams, LAND ROVER HOUSTON managed to pull off two solid wins in but Fresno State will be a stiffer 7019 Old Katy Road • 713-293-6100 conference games." challenge Sunday. The Bulldogs lost www. landroverhouston .com It was Furin's second goal as a to SMU in overtime in last year's Mon - Fri 9am-7pm • Sat 9am-6pm late substitute in as many games WAC tournament semifinals. DVANTAGE AUTOMOTIVE GROUP after her dramatic game-winner "We're pretty focused on San Jose The Southwest's Largest Land Rover Centre against the University of Texas-El State right now," Droeger said. "In Paso Oct. 12. both games, we just need to play our *0% AI' k up to 60 months WA ( I imitcd time otter The Ixidy Miners beat Rice 6-2 game and not worry about what in the WAC tournament semifinals they're doing." THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2003 — Women's tennis sends three to quarterfinals

by Zach Epstein the year, the regional tournament THRESHER STAFF is where every school shows what their team has got," DiSesa said. Over the last few weeks, the "It's a chance to see what the women's tennis team has been competition looks like and still reaching new heights. As a team show off what talent we have. It's and as individuals, the Owls have the best feeling when it all comes played their best tennis all year, together for everyone. showing the competition how tal- "It's rare for the whole team to ented this Rice squad is. play so well at the same time, so I Last weekend, Rice was one think we definitely proved our- of 37 schools competing in the selves with such a great showing." Intercollegiate Tennis Associa- Prior to the ITA tournament, tion Regional Championships at DiSesa, Chong, Archer and Texas Christian University in Fort Goodrich attended the Riviera Worth. After four days of superb All-American Championships tennis, the team emerged with Oct. 3-12, in Pacific Palisades, one of its best performances. Calif., where the top players in "Overall, we had a tremendous the nation compete early in the performance," head coach Roger year. As DiSesa struggled to find White said. "It was, without a her game, Archer advanced doubt, our best showing in a de- through the pre-qualifying draw cade, and possibly in the last 15 and won her first qualifying years. I was extremely pleased match, defeating the nation's 48th "fi- with the way the team performed." ranked player. Chong, who had The team's top three already entered the qualifying \ players — sophomores I^auren round, won a three-hour match Archer and Blair DiSesa and jun- in the first round but lost to a top- STUART SINCLAIR/THRESHER Junior noseguard Jeremy Calnhan (90) records one of his team season-high 13 tackles in the loss against Navy. Even 15 player in the second round. ior Tracie Chong — all advanced with the high tackles total, the Rice defense was mostly ineffective against the Midshipmen's option offense. to the quarterfinals, giving Rice "After playing for three hours more women in the final eight in the morning and competing in than any other school. doubles as well, I just ran out of "I personally wish I could've gas for that match," Chong said. done better," Archer said. "The The Owls will finish their fall Navy sails in win over Rice 38-6 ultimate goal was to reach the schedule Nov. 7-9. The team will finals and qualify for the national split up once again, as Chong, tournament, and I had my expec- Archer and DiSesa travel to Ari- by Dylan Hedrick ond half, but the offense gave the them [two] times on fourth down tations. With all three of us reach- zona State University for the THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF ball back to Navy with turnovers and held them to a field goal the ing the quarterfinals, we should Thunderbird Invitational, while each time. other time," Hatfield said. "Ourguys all be ranked in the top 80." the rest of the team plays in the Although Rice took the first shot, Navy tacked on 10 more points didn't quit, but we weren't the better Even the players who did not College Station Tournament the United States Naval Academy late in the game with backup quar- team today." make the quarterfinals fared well, against rivals Tulane, Texas dominated the rest of the football terback Aaron Polanco at the helm. The only bright spot of the game with senior Yasmin Fisher reach- Tech and Texas A&M. With ev- game Saturday enroute to 38-6 win "I was proud of our defensive line for Rice was the kicking game, espe- ing the consolation semifinals and eryone playing well, the team at Rice Stadium. Former President in the second half— how we stopped cially the punting of freshman Jared seniors Karen Chao and Annie should finish their fall season on George H W. Bush and Secretary of Scruggs, who was named Western Goodrich reaching the consola- a high note before beginning the Navy Gordon England were Athletic Conference special teams tion quarterfinals. again in the spring with their among the 27,832 in attendance. IN FOCUS: FOOTBALL Player of the Week. "Since it's scheduled early in first match. In a showdown of two of the top Scruggs punted four times, av- option offense teams in the nation, Record: 1-5 eraging 52.0 yards, including a 73- the Midshipmen outrushed Rice yard effort in the third-quarter. WAC record: 1-1 (T-2nd) 366-206. The Owls dropped to 1-5 Scruggs is ninth in the nation in on the season, their worst start Last week: The Owls fell 38- 6 average yardage at 45.8 yards per Swimmers win dual meets since 2000. at home against the United punt, just shy of the Rice individual "There wasn't any doubt about States Naval Academy. season punting record of 45.94 yards set by the current kicking SWIMMING, from Page 17 the Owls showed no signs of letting it — the best team won the game," What made the difference: The coach Steve Kidd (Wiess '87). would make for a competitive, down in Laramie, Wyo. Despite the head coach Ken Hatfield said. "You Owl defense could not hold close, up-for-grabs meet. Part of our much higher altitude, Rice won all don't get to be leading the nation in the Midshipmen, who scored "It's great but I'm not going to goal is to create a competitive sched- but one event against the Cowgirls. running the ball without doing it 28 points in the first half to worry about it," Scruggs said. "I don't ule that makes us step up and race." consistently, and they've done it all put the game out of reach. look at the standings [until] afterthe season." All four teams are from different year on everybody." Rice's option offense was conferences and hope to break into While Navy had little trouble mov- similarly ineffective. Landry handled placekicking the nation's Top 25, and Huston said The [meet against ing the ball against the Rice defense, duties last year but lost the job to Washington State andTCU had strong the Owl option was never effective Up next: The Owls travel to senior Brandon Skeen in the pre- recruiting classes similar to his. Colorado State/ was against the Navy defense. The Mid- Fresno, Calif., tomorrow to season. He connected on his first "We want to win and we definitely louder and more fun shipmen held Rice to a season-low face Fresno State University two attempts of the season after should win," seniorToni Ciffolilli said. 223 total yards and forced four (3-4,1-1 WAC) at 6 p.m. CDT. Skeen was 1-4 through the first "It will be competitive, but with the than ever before. For fumbles and an interception. five games. home-pool advantage and the home Rice scored first on a 56-yard crowd, we will come out on top." once, we actually felt drive highlighted by a 24-yard run The Owls won without the home- from sophomore halfback Thomas pool advantage on their western road intimidating when we Lott. Sophomore kicker Brennan trip, opening Oct. 10 in Fort Collins, walked into the pool." I^andry capped the drive with a Colo, against Colorado State. Rice 34-yard field goal. Khan's Deli won nine of the 16 events in the meet — Jackie Corcoran Navy quickly responded with a against Colorado State, led by Senior swimmer 66-yard touchdown drive of four New Fall Hours!!! Corcoran and sophomore I^aura minutes, 10 seconds to take a 7-3 Healey, who each won two events lead. After Rice went three-and- 10 a.m. - 8 p.m. and a relay. Corcoran finished first out, Navy halfback Eric Roberts in the 200- and 500-yard freestyle, "I was impressed with how not ran for a 69-yard touchdown on the Monday - Friday and Healey sprinted her way to vic- just one person really stood out, be- first play of the drive to make it a 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. tory in the 50- and 100-freestyle. cause everyone stepped upand pulled 14-3 game. "[Corcoran] really stepped upand their own weight," Corcoran said. Rice did manage another effec- Saturday swam well in all her races these past The opening weekend gave the tive drive of 59 yards, including runs of 12 and 15 yards by senior quar- two weeks," Huston said. "I named team its first taste in several years Free soft drink w ith purchase of any sandwich. [Corcoran] and [Healey) our unoffi- of competition with a team large terback Kyle Herm, but Navy held cial MVPs of the Colorado |State) enough to fill all the lanes. In the the Owls to a 38-yard field goal from For those that are 21 and up, substitute an ice meet. They bothjumpoutin my mind past, the team had to rely on con- I^andry. cold $0.50 cent domestic beer for the free soft as two who stepped up in a big way." sistent first-place finishes in order From there, it was all Navy, as Bichman (1000 free), Ros to accumulate enough points to quarterback Craig Candeto took drink. (100 butterfly), senior co-captain win. Now with a full line-up, the over against a listless Rice defense Elaine Lee (200 butterfly) and jun- Owls can capture first place as well to rush for two touchdowns in the ior Lauren Hill (200 breaststroke) as more of the second and third first half. Candeto had a career-high Fresh sandwiches sold daily at Valhalla. all won events before Healey, Kiana place slots to contribute to the 36 carries to gain 151 yards and two Taheri, Hill and Corcoran won the score, Huston said. touchdowns. He also passed for ll final event, the 200-yard freestyle Corcoran said the larger team 76 yards and a touchdown. A family tradition since 1948. relay, ending the meet with a bang. made for a more enjoyable experi- "I was disappointed in the way we "I thought the team performed ence in their opening meets. played in the first half, especially," very well," Huston said. "Going into "The [meet against Colorado] Hatfield said. "Defensively, we didn't the first meet, you think you know was louder and more fun than ever slow them down. We didn't play hard. what to expect, but there is always a before," Corcoran said. "It was a We played tentatively, and we didn't little of the unknown. The team was great atmosphere, and we felt like get after them at all. That was the so focused, and we almost always a real team with such a large group most disappointing thing about the out-touched Colorado [State] at the to cheer. For once, we actually felt ball game." Michael & Marcia Khan close finishes." intimidating when we walked liie Owl defense twice held on In the second day of competition, into the pool." fourth down situations in the sec- 20 THE RICE THRESHER •asm FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 Cross country teams race well on the road Men's tennis heads by Melissa Dominguez THRESHER STAFF

Both cross country teams were to indoor regionals on the road Saturday against top- notch competition, as the women falling behind 7-6 before rain post- by Adam Tabakin finished 11th at the Penn State Na- poned the completion of the THRESHER STAFF tional Cross Country Race in Uni- match until the next morning. versity Park, Pa., and the men fin- Just one week after being When the match resumed in- ished seventh at the Chile Pepper upset in the finals of the Intercol- doors, the Barkers broke serve Invitational in Fayetteville, Ark. in legiate Tennis Association Ail- and went on to win the match in a their final tune-up before the WAC American tournament in tiebreaker. They breezed through championships. Chattanooga, Tenn., seniors the next three rounds, winning by Richard and William Barker, scores of 8-2, 8-1 and 84 before along with the rest of the men's running into Cook and Matijevic. tennis team, are back in action The Aggie duo jumped out to a IN FOCUS: today at the Omni Hotels Region commanding 6-1 lead early and VI Tournament in Fort Worth. appeared ready to walk away with CROSS COUNTRY The Barkers lost to second- the title easily. The Barkers, how- Last week: The men's team seeded Lester Cook and Ante ever, stormed back to tie the match finished seventh out of 13 Matijevic of Texas A&M Univer- at 6-6 before Cook and Matijevic teams at the Chile Pepper sity in the final, but Rice now broke serve and went on to win Invitational in Fayetteville, turns its attention to regionals. the championship 8-6. Still, the Ark. The women's team The finalistsof the singles draws Owls took positives from the Bark- finished 11th out of 19 and the winners of the doubles ers' comeback. teams at the Penn State draws in each of the eight regions "They're never out of it," National Cross Country will automatically qualify for the Smarr said. "They return so well, Race in University Park, Pa. ITA Indoor National Champion- there's no guarantee anybody can ships next month. The remaining hold serve on them." What made the difference: 16 singles and eight doubles spots The loss in the finals was the The women's team had will be filled with at-large bids. first defeat for the Barkers this trouble adjusting to the hills Because they are the defend- season and only the second in in Pennsylvania. In the ing champions, the Barkers will 44 matches dating back to last fall. men's race, freshman Steve not have to play doubles at the "I guess we felt a lot of pres- Magness continued his regional tournament, which ironi- sure going into the tournament, remarkable first season by cally is held outdoors, but they, but the big thing is just to have finishing 12th out of 263. along with six other Owls, will play fun," Richard Barker said. Up next: Both teams singles. Three doubles pairs will The Barkers and Searle also compete in their most also compete in the tournament. competed in the 64-man singles important event, the WAC According to head coach Ron draw in the All-American tourna- Championships, Nov. 1 at Smarr, because of their high na- ment. William Barker, ranked San Jose State University. tional rankings, the Barkers and 21st nationally, matched his sophomore Robert Searle might success from May's NCAA receive at-large singles bids if Championships by advancing to At Penn State the women faced a they don't advance to the finals, the round of 16 before losing in challenging course, a full field of but the players know they can't three sets to Pierrick Ysern of 225 runners and 48-degree weather. COURTESY CROSS COUNTRY TEAM be complacent. the University of San Diego. Jim Bevan, senior assistant Freshman Steve Magness competes at the Texas A&M-Corpus Christi "You can't think of that," Rich- Richard Barker, ranked 18th women's track coach in charge of Islander Open Splash Oct. 11. The men's cross country team competed in Fayetteville, Ark., last weekend, while the women's cross country team ran ard Barker said. "We've just got but still battling back from an cross country, said the tough com- at Penn State. to go there and play tennis." offseason knee injury, lost both petition was the best part of the Because of their automatic bid his first round match and his con- race. to the national tournament, the solation match. "It was their biggest race of the Senior Tanya Wright finished in practice." Barkers will need to win four "I played pretty good tennis ac- season thus far," Bevan said. "The 61st, and sophomores Brandi The men's team placed in the matches to repeat as national in- tually, I just didn't get the results," competition was amazing, with five Armstrong and Megan Sandler also Top 10 at the Chile Pepper Invita- door champions. Richard Barker said. "In terms of of the present competing schools placed in the top 100. tional, hosted by the University of "We'd love to play [Cook and coming from the beginning of the ranked in the top 110] nationwide." "Wright ran a much better race Arkansas. Matijevic] again in the finals and season, being injured beforehand, Senior Shannon Murto led the I than she has lately], as she fought "The race was awesome," set things straight,"William Barker it's been a progression, and every way for Rice, finishing 55th overall the entire race and was much more sophomore Leor Pantilat said. "1 said. "We wanted all three national match has gotten better." with a time of 22 minutes, 26 sec- consistent," Bevan said. think we all liked the course, titles, I'm not going to lie, so now Searle, ranked 14th, was up- onds for the six-kilometer race. Bevan said the 19-team meet location and the atmosphere. we want the next two. I suppose set in the first round but still Murto said that despite prepara- was good preparation for the WAC The weather was clear and crisp, two and a final we can live with." managed to win two matches in tion, the hilly course impacted the Championships Nov. 1 at San Jose much better for faster running than Rain in Chattanooga Oct. 8-13 the consolation bracket, includ- team's performance. State University. the hot and humid weather of forced much of last week's ITA ing a grueling three-set match "Penn State was much more "This was a great set-up for us Houston." tournament to be moved indoors, against Stanford standout Sam hilly than anywhere else we've before conference, as I feel that Freshman Steve Magness fin- a move that should have played Warburg 6-2, 5-7, 7-5 after falling raced this season," Murto said. our young ladies got a taste of ished 12th overall to lead the Owls to the strengths of the Barkers, behind 5-3 in the third set. "We've tried to prepare for that as higher competition and will re- for the third consecutive race while the reigning national indoor "Robert Searle didn't play like much as possible, especially since spond with their best performance completing his first collegiate doubles champions. In the first he's capable," Smarr said. "He [the Western Athletic Conference of the year," Bevan said. "We will 10-kilometer race with a time of round, the top-seeded duo was did come back, and he won two Championships course] will also need to capitalize on what we 30:12.55. nearly upset by Mississippi's Paul and lost two. The good thing be hilly, but it's always a shock to learned in Pennsylvania and on "This really was a premier meet Ciorascu and Claes Lindholm, about him is that he competes." race true hills for the first time." what we have been working hard and the competition was excellent," junior Adam Davis said. "Steve fin- ished near the top of a great field." Traditional Thai Cuisine Distinctive Food at Moderate Prices Sophomore Marcel Hewa- mudalige finished second for Rice nique res taurant looking [or II in a time of 31:08.21, 49th overall. The Owls' third-, fourth- and fifth- place finishers (Davis, sophomore HOT, HOT News! iuiH|iie peop le. David Axel and freshman Pablo Use Your Silver Card for a 10% Discount.* Solares, respectively) ran as a pack Uniquely qualified? Then we know just the place for you. California with less than • Daily Lunch Buffet Pizza Kitchen is now hiring servers, host staff, cooks, bussers and 30 seconds between their finishes dish washers. from 76th to 104th in the 11am - 2:30 pm 263-runner field. 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Memorial City Mall Food Court way to the 10-K." 303 Memorial City Mall All four WAC teams finished • May not be used with any other offer (South side of mall, between Sears and Lord & Taylor) consecutively, with UTEP fifth, or during holidays. Monday-Saturday from 9am to 7pm Tulsa sixth, Rice seventh and Boise Ph: (713) 365-9473 State eighth. CPK is an EOE. Apply online @ cpk.com. "As a team, we held our own," Davis said. "We didn't beat all of the WAC teams at this meet, but Thai Spice Restaurant they are certainly in striking dis- 5117 Kelvin [in Rice Villagej • 713.522.5100 tance come the conference ineel." Both teams will be seeking con- J Orders To Go ) Full Service Catering ference titles Nov. 1 at the WAC ) Party Trays J Private Room Available X'TCHf# Championships, as the women look } Delivery Available (Call for Details) to defend their 2002 title and the www.thaispice.com men hope to win their third crown in five years. THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 21 Sid, Baker top Powderpuff charts

Golf plagued by Brown 12-6 to avoid another three- Other Sports by Jonathan Yardley Elsewhere in college athletics, THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF way tie. Wiess finished 3-0 and will face Martel in the playoffs this week- Monday produced a pair of Powderpuff maintains its hold on end, while Jones will face Gray nailbiting men's basketball games. fall inconsistency college sports' center stage this League runner-up Will Rice (2-1). Jones edged Wiess 50-48 in a hotly- weekend, as Sunday's matchup of contested opener, while Brown and Will Rice battled into overtime be- four teams bested par. This was unbeatensSid Richardson and Baker Women's College Basketball by John Hanley fore the Northsiders came away the second time in three tourna- highlights the week. The playoff picture is shaping up FO.H THK THRF.SHKK with a 34-31 win. ments that Rice finished behind Baker improved to 5-0 by beating in the women's college basketball The golf team finished the the rest of the field. Ivovett with a dramatic fourth-quar- competition, with only one week of In freshman college basketball, fall portion of its season onTues- Philips' three-over-par again ter interception return Saturday, competition remaining. Martel, Wiess and Lovett were day with a last-place finish in lead the Owls, with Morgan and 14-13. Sid, meanwhile, continued to Wiess is the favorite to win the among the opening-week victors. the Coca-Cola Tournament of senior Winn Smith nine back at dominate with a 33-0 demolition of Jump Shot Division, while GSA has In men's college volleyball, GSA Champions in Knoxville, Tenn., 12-over-par. Hanszen. Both Sid and Baker are the inside track for the second play- has already jumped into first place one week after placing seventh Vanderbilt University won 5-0 and look like locks to be the top off spot following its 41-16 blowout with a 2-0 record. Hanszen, Jones and out of 13 teams in the Southern the team competition, cruising two seeds in the playoffs, but their of Will Rice Monday. Wiess also record first-week wins. Crown Chrysler Classic in to 15-under on a short, techni- 5 p.m. meeting Sunday is still the In the Slam Dunk Division, Jones In college ultimate, Sid and Jones Lufkin, Tex. cal course marked by heavy game of the week. is the likely winner with a 3-0 record, posted dominant opening-game vic- rough. Rice was tripped up in Lovett (3-2) should finish in third while Baker should earn the second tories over Wiess and Lovett, re- part by the course's bent grass, place, sitting at 3-2 with a relatively playoff spot if the Devils can round spectively, and GSA burned Will which causes putts to roll dif- easy remaining schedule. The real up enough players just to compete. Rice 9-3. 'Wefelt like this was a ferently. Bermuda grass is used battle is for the final playoff spot, in most courses in Texas, in- with Wiess (3-2), Jones (3-3), tournament we could cluding Wildcat Golf Club, Hanszen (2-3) and Will Rice (1-3) where Rice practices. still in the running. | WE GOT BALLS In Midtownfl! j Four disappointing results in Jones won its second and third do well in, but we took i as many weeks have left Owl duf- consecutive games with a 12-6 upset of Will Rice Saturday and a 24-7 win a few steps back.' fers frustrated. lea A Coffee Bat "We felt like this was a tourna- over last-place Martel Sunday, while — Ryan Morgan Wiess returned to winning form with Senior golfer ment we could do well in, but we took a few steps back," Morgan an 18-6 win over winless Brown. said. "For four tournaments, we The Battlesows appear to have went out and didn't do well in any the inside track for the final playoff After a disappointing finish of them." spot by virtue of their early-season in Chicago the week before, the Head coach Dick Ellis said win over Jones, but they also have Owls came out firing in the that this year's team has not yet the toughest remaining schedule, Southern Crown, with their top played up to its full potential, but including both unbeaten teams. four golfers combining for a five- also noted that the primary sea- over-par 293 in Monday's morn- son for college golf, which in- Freshman Flag Football Bubble lea i Things were decided the hard ing play — Rice's best single cludes the WAC tournament and Frozen & Hot Fspresso I round of the season and good NCAA regionals, is still to come. way in the Blue League of the fresh- man flag football competition. Shakes & Smoothies I for fourth place overall. "I've got a lot of confidence However, Rice slipped back that the players will get better for Jones crushed Ix>vett 24-0 Satur- Sandwiches & Desserts I day, and Sid beat Martel 20-18 but with a 303 in Monday's after- spring," Ellis said. Free Wireless Internet I was still eliminated from the compe- noon session, and came apart Philips drew attention to an- tition on point differential in games Open till 2am I ri-Sat I on Tuesday, posting a 318 in other positive for the team: the between the three teams. Jones (+5), breezy conditions to finish in fact that seven of the squad's nine I I Martel (-1) and Sid (-4) all tied with seventh place out of 12 teams. golfers played in at least one of identical 3-1 records, but Jones' 1 2808 Milam & Drew (3 Blocks Norfn of Flcln I I The University of Texas-San the fall's events. 25-19 win over Sid proved decisive. i 713.737.7111 www.T ROPIOC A .com 1 Antonio took top honors in both "A few people gained experi- In the Gray League, Wiess edged fiv wmm. Jl the team and individual compe- ence," Philips said. 'They'll know titions, led by John Elizando, what they have to do [in the fu- who finished two-under-par over ture]." three rounds. The team agrees its needs to Rice senior Scott Philips shot work hard to turn things around rounds of 72, 75 and 75 to finish for the spring season, although Just a reminder from at six-over-par, ninth among all the secret isn't likely to be a new golfers and the best individual driver sitting atop a pile of holi- score for the Owls. Senior Ryan day presents. Morgan was nine-over and "Commitment is not an twelfth overall. issue — it's more a matter of being the Registrar's Office: Rice fell back into its season- able to execute," said Philips. "It's long slump at the Coca-Cola going to take a lot of practice." Tournament of Champions. The Fortunately for the Owls, Owls, with combined rounds of Morgan pointed out Rice has a 300, 301 and 304, were more lot of time to go back and work consistent than in Lufkin, but on things between now and the Friday, October 31 is the deadline date never got above 13th place in spring season, which starts with the fifteen team event and fin- the Rice Intercollegiate Tour- ished in last, forty strokes over nament, Feb. 8-10 at the Black for the following processes - par in a tournament in which Horse Golf Club.

• Last day to drop courses - graduate stu- dents and returning undergraduate stu- dents. NOTE - First semester undergraduate students can drop classes up until the last day of the Fall 2003 semester (Dec. 5, 2003).

• Changing course status to "Pass/Fail" option.

Questions - please contact [email protected] •M'&jwil

THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 •aR£jL'i;

4. Georgia Southern Individual Stats Rice — Neal 23, Sigman 15 5. Pepperdine Navy — Candeto 36-151, Roberts 5-93, Polanco 8 Tulsa — Bandy 23, Thon 22 16. Rice 47, Brlmqge 10-37, Lane 4-15, Eckel 3-11, Hlnes 1 2-1, OT BOISE ST 11. Carroll 1-2, Dlvls 1+1) Attendance Maria Fadool 82 Kristin Hall 62' Rice results (field of 77 golfers) Oct. 8-22 Rice — Henderson 14-54, Lott 4-4'2, Harm 9-41, Becky MacAllister 97' T26. Scott Philips •70-75-74 219 Beck 9-32, Smith 4-20, Bailey 2-10, Rucker 1-2, RICE 3 MCNEESE STATE T60. Winn Smith 75-74-79 228 Moore 2-2, Cates 1-2, Battle 1-1 October 14,2003—Memorial Gym, Lake Charles, La. October 19, 2003 Rice Track/ Soccer Stadium PaMlng T60. Ryan Morgan 76-78-74 228 T70. Eddie Rowe 79-74-81 234 Navy — Candeto 6-10-0-76 Rica (7-7-1, 4-2): Shockley; Serrano, Anderson, Rice (12-8) 75. Parker LaBarge 80-80-78 238 Rice — Herm 3-8-0-7, Henderson 3-6-1-10 Currle, Fadool, Lindsay, Barber, Yoder, Droeger, Receiving MSU (9-10) 31 23 19 22 MacAllister, Galvan. Substitutes: Rellas, Crowley Navy — Roberts 3-36, Wesley 2-32, Tomlinson 18 Huete, Furln, Dannheim. SOUTHERN CHRYSLER CROWN Rice — Lott 3-8, Battle 2-7, Hurd 1-2 Final Stats Rice MSU Kills 66 52 BSU (5-11-1, 1-4): Parker; Hall. Roche, Temple, CLASSIC Attendance — 27,832 Errors 23 36 Bernards, Milligan, Erlckson, Meyer, Coleman, October 13-14, 2003 Attempts 144 146 McCoy, Zoellner. Substitutes: McDonald, Dunn, Crown Colony Country Club, Lufkin, Tex. Attack Percentage .299 .110 Johnson, Shea, Tom. VOLLEYBALL Assists 63 46 Assists. RU: Droeger, Fadoo, Andersonl; BSU: Roche. Team standings (total of 12 teams) Service Aces 5 7 Cautions: Temple (BSU) 23'; MacAllister (RU) 47'; FOOTBALL 1. Texas-San Antonio 878 RICE 3 TULSA 2 Digs 51 48 Coleman (BSU) 92'. 2. Stephen F. Austin 886 October 18, 2003 — Reynolds Center, Tulsa, Ok. Blocks 8.0 10.0 Ejections: none. NAVY 38 RICE 6 T3. Oral Roberts 892 October 18, 2003 — Rice Stadium Rice (13-8, 4-3) 30 30 25 30 17 Individual Stats Rica BSU T3. Texas State 892 Tulsa (11-9, 2-5)25 32 30 20 15 Kills Shots 15 9 5. Texas Pan American 907 Navy (5-2) 14 14 10 38 Rice — Pazo 25, Kainz 12, Carter 12 Shots on Goal 9 5 7. Rice 914 MSU — Williams 20, James 11 7 Rice (1-5) 3 3 0 6 Saves 4 y; Final Stats Rice Tulsa Assists Corner Kicks 2 5 . ' | 77 Rice — Hoban 55 12 18 Rice results (field of 67 golfers) Rice — Landry 34 field goal Kills 79 Fouls 32 MSU — Brittain 42 Offsides 3 4 T9. Scott Philips 72-75-75 222 Navy — Candeto 7 run (Rolfs kick) Errors 23 n 204 202 Digs T12. Ryan Morgan 74-71-80 225 Navy — Roberts 69 run (Rolfs kick) Attempts • .275 .223 Rice — Neal 19, Sigman 9 Attendance — 422 Rice — Landry 38 field goal Attack Percentage •T23. Eddie Rowe 78-75-76 229 72 MSU — Fleury 10, Anderson 10 Navy — Candeto 1 run (Rolfs kick) Assists 72 T35. Winn Smith 73-78-82 233 Service Aces 7 5 Navy — Roberts 15 pass from Candeto (Rolfs kick) RICE 3-1 NEVADA T47. Frank Buttacavoli 74-83-81 238 96 Attendance — 218 Navy — Rolfs 45 field goal Digs 85 7.0 Erin Droeger 16' Leisha Makinano 69' T47. Matt Toohey 77-79-82 238 Navy — Polanco 8 run (Rolfs kick) Blocks 12.0 RICE 2 SMU 3 Sarah Yoder 48' Angela Furin 85' •Competed as an individual Final Stats Navy Rice Individual Stats October 11, 2003 — Moody Coliseum, Dallas Kill* First Downs 22 14 October 17, 2003 — Rice Track/Soccer Stadium Rushing Yards (net) 366 206 Rice — Pazo 23, Kainz 19 Rice (11-8, 3-3) 30 30 26 26 11 Tulsa — Meyer 18, Bailey 18, Weddle 13 CROSS COUNTRY Passing Yards (net) 76 17 Rice (6-7-1, 3-2): Shockley; Serrano, Anderson, Assists SMU (144, 5-0) 25 25 30 30 15 Total Yards 442 223 Currie, Fadool, Huete, Crrber, Yoder, Droeger, Rice — Hoban 65 Return yards 87 45 MacAllister, Galvan. Substitutes: Rellas, Crowley, MEN: Tulsa — Thon 62 Punts - Avg. 3-34.3 4-52.0 Final Stats Rice SMU Bellow, Furin, Lindsay, Dannheim. CHILE PEPPER INVITATIONAL Time of Possession 35:28 24:32 Kills 78 86 Errors 23 32 Nevada (2-11, 0-4): Tarpenning; Jackson, Harvey, October 18, 2003 — Agri Park, Fayetteville, Ark. Attempts 218 230 Skau, Rowe, Makinano, Hadlock, Gullion, Ander- Attack Percentage .252 .235 son, Mesbah, Kinneman. Substitutes: Miller, Allen, Team standings (total of 33 teams) Assists 73 74 Babicz, Graham, Vietti, Mavis. 1. Arkansas 78 Service Aces 3 4 2. Oklahoma 130 Digs 94 97 Assists: Rice: Galvan, Serrano (2). 3. Alabama 154 Blocks 11.0 7.0 Cautions: Allen (UN) 50 ; Makinano (UN) 66'; Fadool (RU) 72'; Skau (UN) 83'. 4. Abilene Christian 176 t Individual Stats Ejections: none. 5. UTEP 217 Kills 7. Rice 283 Rice — Pazo 27, Kainz 14, Kuykendall 10 SMU — Larkan, Karasek21; Holder, Niederstadt 15 Shots 16 7 Rice results Shots on Goal 8 4 Assists (total of 262 runners, 10 kilometers) Rice — Hoban 59 Saves 3 5 12. Stephen Magness 30:12.55 SMU — Mihm 68 Corner Kicks 4 2 Digs Fouls 6 11 48. Marcel Hewamudalige 31:08.21 Rice — Pazo 25, Neal 18, Carter 17, Hoban 11 Offsides 1 3 75. Adam Davis 31:49.69 SMU — Erazmus 24, karasek 21, Niederstadt 18 86. David Axel 31:59.60 1 Attendance — 331 For annual checkups, birth control, emergency 103. Pablo Solares 32:13.14 contraception, pregnancy testing and testing & Attendance — 315 172. Leor Pantilat 33:37.63 UTEP 0-1, OT RICE treatment for sexually transmitted infections. RICE 3 LOUISIANA TECH 0 Angela Furin 96' WOMEN: October 9, 2003 1.800.230.PLAN www.pphouston.org Thomas Assembly Center, Ruston, La. October 12, 2003 — University Field, El Paso PENN STATE NATIONAL OPEN October 18, 2003 — Penn State Blue/White Rice (11-7, 3-2) 30 30 30 UTEP (8-5, 3-2): K. Clark; Rewalt, Decker, H. Clark, Golf Course, University Park, Penn. Planned Parenthood La. Tech (12-8, 1-3) 20 26 25 Yeamans, Sams, Butts, Stevens, Roberts, o of Houston and Southeast lexas, inc. McCartney, Mack. Substitutes: Hernandez, Platz. Team standings (total of 19 teams) Jang. Graef. 1. Providence 49 Rice (5-7-1,2-2): Shockley; Serrano, Rellas, Ander 2. Columbia 58 son, Currie, Fadool, Huete, Barber, Yoder, Droeger, 3. Penn State 84 Galvan. Substitutes: Crowley, Bellow, Furin, 4. Colorado State 89 Dannheim, MacAllister. 5. Tennessee 111 11. Rice 321 Assists: none. Cautions: none. Ejections: none. Rice results (field of 225 runners, 6 kilometers) UTEP Rice 55. Shannon Murto 22:26.15 Shots 14 12 61. Tanya Wright 22:32.63 Shots on Goal 4 5 81. Brandi Armstrong 22:57.71 Saves 4 4 85. Megan Sandler 23:00.57 Corner Kicks 6 7 Fouls 17 12 101. Whitney McAipine 23:19.70 Offsides 2 3 152. Malin Fugeisang 24:34.98

Attendance — 433 COLLEGE SPORTS SMU 1-0 RICE POWDERPUFF medium 1-topping Kim Harvey 67' October 10, 2003 — Westcott Field, Dallas. Tex. Team w L PtDif Sid Richardson 5 0 +146 pizza 6 2 cans of Coke Baker 5 0 +53 GOLF $7*3 Lovett 3 2 +20 no coupon required Pius tax Wiess 3 2 +26 Deep dish may be extra COCA-COLA TOURNAMENT OF Jones 3 3 +5 CHAMPIONS Hanszen 2 3 -42 October 20-21, 2003 Will Rice 1 3 -28 Holston Hills Country Club, Knoxville, Tenn. Brown 0 4 -65

Team standings (total of 15 teams) Martel 0 5 -115 1. Vanderbilt 849 2. Swedish National 854 Large 1 -toppping 3. Tennessee 856

pizza & 3 cans of Coke We.. .really will — ¥/ do coupon required GIVE YOU rtus tax Deep dish may be extra MONEY!! Applications are sought for the Dr. Bill Wilson Student In The Village Initiative Grant. The fund supports innovative student projects which will improve (713) 523-7770 undergraduate life at Rice. Emphasis is given to improving 5733 Kirby Dr. infrastructure for student-run Open 11 am to 2 am Mon. - Sun. activities, but anything worthwhile except salaries and travel will be considered. Send a short 2-3 page proposal to: Dr. Bill Wilson Grant c/o Katherine Donato We also serue: Master, Wiess College Get The Door. MS 738 or Breadsticks Cheesy Bread Wiess College Office It's Domino's. Proposals due November 6 by Coca-Cola Buffalo Wings 4:(X) PM * „ , I 1 • ' -i • • -T' • - , • ' ' ".* . «• - y i . .. , fyy* % # f'-r.i f . • • w • ' V" ' ./ : . • . - ;• , ' 1 <,V,„ '

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the Rice Memorial Center. For "That's funny, I always thought watch the men's and women's more information and to they were giant balls of gas basketball teams scrimmage. register, contact burning billions of miles away." There will be free drinks, pizza, [email protected] or The Center for the Study of t-shirts and raffle prizes. CALEN [email protected], or visit http:// Environment and Society www. owlnet. rice. edu/~balu/aol. presents Richard Anthes. He will be speaking on HOWTO SUBMI T FRIDAY "Observations of the Earth: FRIDAY social and sexual life among Towards an Earth Information young Germans." The film will System." The lecture begins at CALENDAR ITEMS be screened tonight and 31 Just in case you realized that 12 p.m. at Farnsworth Pavilion tomorrow night at 8 p.m. Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m. 2dmJrJt pumpkin grades aren't all they in the Rice Memorial Center. Visiting professor lecture Admission is $5 for students. prior to Friday publication. are cracked up to be. Lunch will be provided. For Thomas Biebricher, a visiting For more information, visit more information or to sign up, Submission methods: professor from the University http://ricecinema. rice. edu. Hey! You! Stop hooking up contact [email protected]. Fax: (713) 348-5238 of Florida, Gainesville, will with your advisor and get to E-mall: [email protected] present a lecture titled "Jurgen "I once thought I had mono for the Allen Center pronto! Campus Mail: Calendar Habermas and Michel an entire year. It turned out I Today is the last day to drop a Come for the free pizza, stay for the dance team and still get Editor, Thresher, MS-524 Foucault: Differing Ways out of was just really bored." course or designate a class back in time to see Ajay and the Dialectic." He will speak Pass/Fail for the Fall 2003 Calendar submission forms are Calm down you crazy Rice Erica in nothing but shaving today at 10 a.m. in Rayzor Hall semester for returning available on the Thresher office students. The Rice Yoga Club cream. Room 106. Art of Living: Student Stress undergraduate students. To door. Management and Personality do so, visit the Registrar's Tonight from 8 to 10 p.m. at Office by 5 p.m. Autry Court is the 2nd annual Submissions are printed on a Chamber music concert Development workshop begins space-available basis. today at 6 p.m. in Sammy's in Halloween Hoops. Come by and The Shepherd School of Music presents a chamber music concert tonight at 8 p.m. in Duncan Recital Hall. Admission is free. For more information, contact Tom Littman at (713)348-4933.

SATURDAY

Project Pumpkin Join The Project Pumpkin will be held today. Community kids will be here from 1 to 4 p.m. in the Will Rice College quad for a haunted house and trick-or- treating. To help out, contact graymj@rice. edu. The YMCA is now offering more Rice Chorale affordable membership rates for young Rice Chorale and the Shepherd Singers perform tonight at 8 adults ages 19-28.The Y is so much p.m. in Stude Hall. Admission is free. For more information, more than just a workout facility. We are contact Tom Littman at (713) 348-4933 a place for you to meet new friends, try new things and help others. MONDAY

Depleted Uranium Project speaker Doug Rokke, former director of the United States Army's Depleted Uranium Project, will hold a discussion on the The YMCA can make a difference in your total health. outlawing of depleted uranium today. The talk will take place Just look at the programs we have in store for you. at 7 p.m. in Space Science Building Room 106. Spirit Mind Body TUESDAY Yoga Bible Study Kickboxing Pilates Seminars Power Cycle Club drug talk Volunteering Mentoring Adult Basketball F. Gerard Moeller, M.I). and the Rice University Wellness t Center will be presenting a talk entitled, "The 411 on XTC: Current Research on Ecstasy and Selected Club Drugs." RF I-earn about new research \ methods in health sciences and drug research (with free food and door prizes for first 25 participants). For more www.ymcahouston.org information call (713) 348-5194. All this is at a Rice Rec Center water safety great value with c training 'Hie Rice Recreation Center is satisfaction holding Lifeguard Instructor IPiJi guaranteed and Y^ A Training Sessions beginning today, as well as Water Safety no contracts. Instructor Training Sessions. The cost is $70 for students. For a complete schedule or to Call Try-lhe-Y FREE register, contact Scott Wray at 713-659-5566 ONE INDIVIDUAL [email protected] or visit http:// www. ruf rice. edu/~ricerec. FREE ONE-WEEK GUEST PASS Financial Assistance available I L» jwiUiliiUuJ InLimirJiiiii THURSDAY ror cxxBRonc* iroormcnion Our Mission: To put Judeo-Christian a 713-659-5566 principles into practice through I Coil your locd Y for branch restrictions programs that build healthy spirit, mind Rice Media Center w A Must be 1 8 years of age, or accompanied by an I and body for all. 9 adult during facilify use. Must show a pidure 10 The Rice Media Center I presents Doris Dorrie's Am I TUfc. YA^A bilit Cwww+iwK] Sfrfcai +^e.1 [ Ofer^Pj^^L Beautiful?, "a panorama of -Y; $ i/ :• • , t.. , +?-• • 24 THE RICE fHRESHER BACKPAGE FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24,2003 Presidential Committee Decides on Final Four Last Tuesday, the committee to Harshman) said an anonymous ad- man. He cheats like hellin scrabble genius." The committee recognizes find the new Rice president narrowed ministrator. "We don't know much though." Committee member Mary that Cheney will be the butt of many their list of candidates down to the about Phuctane; it's some science Middlebrookshireton gave some tasteless jokes. However, they also final four. "We are way ahead of thing, I think. But the students like closing thoughts on Izzard. "We like realize that the Backpage will AL- schedule," one committee member it, so it's obviously not going to be the foreign culture which Eddie can WAYS find a way to make tasteless chosen. It's just on the list to pacify bring to Rice. During our first en- jokes about administrators, whether said. "It's hard to believe that we \" - x/ f r;; ^ were able to find four candidates of them." Accordingto one anonymous counter with Mr. Izzard, he brought or not their names are blatantly phal- ; r this caliber." Sources close to the student member of the committee, us a British flag, since he knew that lic. lave you been outside committee (i.e. our hired moles) "Even if it's not selected as presi- Rice didn't have a flag. I guess it's a lately? It's like God had sex were able to inform us that the four dent, I'll still vote British thing. They're awfully patri- Candidate #4 - Ronald McDonald with Mrs. God and created candidates are Phuctane, British Phuctane for homecoming king." otic for a little-bitty island nation full Born: On a cattle farm in Idaho mmsm <'?*... itm.;) — Brown sophomore transvestite and comedian Eddie <\shameless plug> of people who talk funny." Profession: Heartlessly murder- Izzard, Vice President Dick Cheney, ing innocent cows for mass con- and Ronald McDonald. "Each can- sumption. Mmm... cows... "Low tolerance? Now Candidate #2 - Eddie Izzard Candidate #3 - Vice President THA Tisa drinkingproblem!" didate possesses such fine qualities Born: February, 1962 Dick Cheney Hobbies: Playing with small chil- — Lovett junior and merits. It will be difficult to Profession: Executive Transves- Born: At the dawn of time dren, picking out his bright red 'fro. choose between them," John tite and Comedian Profession: Rodeo clown side- What the committee has to say: Jibason, representative of Jones Col- Hobbies: Accessorizing kick Committee members consider "If I don't come out of this lege, a

a bit of a historian, since he's from Buttercup said, "Dude, the man is Europe, where history comes from. awesome. I mean, look at him. That chain of Rice Universities across the One committee member said, "He shiny red afro just screams 'badass.' nation," one committee member m> brings us such fresh and innovative How can he not be our next presi- said. "We hope that bringing in a ideas. For example, one of Izzard's dent?" While various administrators bigwig such as Ronald McDonald goals is to have all Rice students on the committee don't share the will allow us to franchise Rice na- riding down the Inner loop on their same enthusiasm for McDonald's tionwide, because ultimately, this Segways going 'Ciao."' One of hair as Billy, they do believe that he will make us lots and lots of money. Izzard's close friends, Jeff — God of could fit into the University's mas- And that's what higher education is Phuctane Biscuits, said, "He is truly a great Vice President Dick Cheney ter plan. 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