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Home , Anton du Beke, Bill Turnbull, Brendan Cole, Carol Kirkwood, Danny Mac, Giovanni Pernice

STRICTLY SPEAKING

h, 2016: so bananas that Marianka Swain casts her eye celebs. Might there be a backlash the UK’s former shadow over the couples in the new against three-time fi nalist Kevin? LOW A chancellor donning sequins A mixed bag pro wise, though season of is only the fourth most eye-popping a glimmer of , all the fringe political event of the week, let alone in the known universe and FIRE, the year. Yet here we are, with Ed what has made it so beloved – by both plus threw down the “Glitter” Balls actually taking to the dance industry and the public gauntlet to the Olympic gymnast with, the fl oor – just one high-profi le – will be crucial to its survival. err, half a cartwheel. HIGH/LOW member of the strongest line-up Still, at least any ructions will pale Can we please ditch the champion Strictly has fi elded in recent years. in comparison to the impending encore tradition? They will inevitably Will that excellent casting mean the political apocalypse. 2016, you guys! be rusty and therefore disappointing producers jettisoning the fever dream At least we have Glitter Balls. – as was Jay McGuiness’s long- distractions? Sadly not. The launch awaited repeat . Though kudos show’s neverending opening was a HIGHS AND LOWS to Aliona Vilani for reminding lo-fi sci-fi embarrassment, complete The Claudia jokes returned, from everyone of her two wins on with creaking Star Wars references telling the celebs to “bed in” with their the way out the door. LOW and an oh-so-hilarious Uranus joke. partners (haha no, but seriously – the While Rebecca Ferguson and Olly It made the BBC’s sitcom nostalgia Daily Mail Sidebar of Shame doesn’t Murs’ guest performances were fest look positively avant-garde. write itself) to a long jumper visual gag about as exciting as a PowerPoint Strictly has always been a precarious and noting new Baby Pro AJ Pritchard presentation on the history of celery, balancing act: between ballroom looks about 11 and half. HIGH you have to admire the producers for and entertainment, tradition and The Family Prop Points, they cometh casually swiping X Factor stars, while innovation, inspiring life lessons and early. Pace yourself, everyone – save that spanking their rival in the ratings. 1950s social values. Change is certainly Mum Card for a dismal samba in Week Strictly’s gone gangsta. HIGH afoot, with Len hanging up his “Seh- 4. See also: ringer protestations. LOW boasted he has a “big fi nish” ven” paddle and new pros cha-cha-ing With 15 celebs and 17 pros, two in store. 2016, you guys! HIGH onto the scene. How the show handles newbies got benched: and that transition, while maintaining Baby Pro Chloe Hewitt. They’ll get Let’s meet the new class… decent exposure through It Takes Two Above: e 2016 Strictly Come Dancing and group , but a shame not to contestants, including from le ; Melvin see what Neil might have done with a Vital stats Danced as a pop star, but Odoom, , , Laura partner – particularly as we know what MANY MILLENNIA AGO and she Whitmore, , Ed Balls, Louise Redknapp, , , Will we’re getting from Anton… LOW hasn’t so much as looked at a jar of Young, , Claudia Fragapane, Judge It’s a good year to bear the Clifton since she got the call! Ringer Rinder, and . name, with all three landing promising rebuttle, plus a narrative: it’s her time ➣

Photograph: JAY BROOKS courtesy of the BBC. WWW.DANCINGTIMES.CO.UK • OCTOBER 2016 • 77

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after focussing on her kids (while forgetting her stage school training and So You Think You Can Dance judging). Expect strategic employment of the footballer husband too. Partner Most likely to… Face a shock mid- series exit – high expectations, and struggles won’t be met with sympathy.

NAGA MUNCHETTY Vital stats Following in the footsteps of illustrious BBC Breakfast alumni , , and (Carol very much the “And Peggy” of that sentence). Has a half-decent death stare, which is… something. Rather an unknown quantity, but handled the group dance well, plus in good hands with Pasha. Partner Most likely to… Emerge as a (Strictly cliché alert) dark horse.

ANASTACIA Vital stats From performing on the show to competing (dear god, is Olly Murs headed our way in 2017?), the outspoken American singer is already excellent entertainment value. Began her is my duty to fill every inch of it” promised a catfight with judge Craig career as an MTV dancer, but has since school of contestant, which can either Revel Horwood, so panto season faced serious medical issues, so a ringer- be engaging or grow old fast. Paired has come early. That rivalry will get lite. Proclaimed in her intro that she with the similarly extrovert Janette more attention than his partnership didn’t want a bossy partner, and yet… – definitely a high-risk strategy. with new Ukrainian pro Oksana. Partner Brendan Cole Partner Partner Oksana Platero Most likely to… Give us fiery Most likely to… Have one wow Most likely to… Provide copious Latin, dubious ballroom, bow dance (most likely salsa), before one-liners, exit in Week 5. out after a few weeks. disappearing midway through. DANNY MAC GREG RUTHERFORD Vital stats The Hollyoaks star with a Vital stats TV presenter. Once Vital stats Break out those flags and shirt allergy has fully embraced his showed Tom Hanks her robot (not claim to understand the rules of the role as Strictly heartthrob. That should a euphemism). And, um, really omnium! It’s another Olympian, serve him well, though the gigolo vibes likes watching the show. Could be a hoping to capitalise on our summer of might be a bit much for BBC teatime. contender – can certainly pull off Big interest in otherwise totally disregarded Another ringer (performing arts school, Bird-style fringe – but major ground sports. A gregarious personality Wicked), but that doesn’t tend to be as to make up in recognition terms, to go with his talent for travelling damaging for the guys. Look forward though a tabloid-bait showmance really far in a sandpit, plus a handy to seeing what Oti can produce with pairing with the newly single cute son. If he’s got a modicum of a celeb who’s got all his limbs intact. Giovanni helps her there. (And his dance ability, he’ll be one to watch. Partner ex Georgia is Laura’s BFF! OMG!) Partner Most likely to… Gradually shed Partner Most likely to… Be a clothes, challenge for the trophy. Most likely to… Get strong judges’ contender for the title. scores, wash out close to the final. CLAUDIA FRAGAPANE JUDGE RINDER Vital stats Olympian number two, Vital stats Dispenses justice in bitchy and definite promise as a female Vital stats His mum’s excited, fashion to poor saps who’ve wandered gymnast, particularly one with a razzle- which is nice. DJ, so may have good onto daytime ITV, and also – rather dazzle floor routine. High heels are a rhythm, and certainly not averse to improbably – Benedict Cumberbatch’s challenge, but at 4’7” she needs them questionable wardrobe choices. Very best man. Will we get a Sherlock – ballroom hold could be tricky. Paired much of the “There is a silence – it sighting? Unlikely, but Rinder has with Baby Pro AJ, they’ll be subjected to

78 • DANCING TIMES

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tune into a high-pitched nervous breakdown on command. Post-, Joanne gets a chance to prove herself with someone decent. Partner Most likely to… Gather some 10s on the way to a semi-final battle.

ED BALLS Vital stats ED BALLS. Former shadow chancellor, dance experience limited to boogieing with Yvette at the Labour Party conference. Will doubtless produce eye-watering attempts at human movement in a variety of unkind outfits, yet still be a more serious prospect for Prime Minister than Jeremy Corbyn. Latin champion Katya is wasted dance- wise, but should get a few weeks’ exposure, since it is ED. BALLS. Partner Most likely to… Be this year’s people’s champion, AKA celeb we’re totes laughing with, not at.

WILL YOUNG Vital stats The reality TV snake eats its own tail: Will is the original Pop Tess’s itty bitty wickle cutie patronising, Above: The celebrities with their Idol winner. Stage school training and professional dance partners. before going on a “Discovering Cabaret, but also getting the ringer emotional maturity” J word. denials out early – he wouldn’t know Partner AJ Pritchard decent routines alongside the camp a rumba if it hit him in the face, he’s Most likely to… Reach the final, entertainment – and may outlast just like us normals bopping around base a showdance around Snapchat a couple of bland young things. our normal kitchens! Possible tonal while we ponder our mortality. Partner mismatch – Will is a grannies’ favourite, Most likely to… Go full hen trad ballroom boy, Karen… is not. DAISY LOWE party amidst the “inspiring Partner Karen Clifton Vital stats Model and apparently older people” narrative. Most likely to… Reach the final, wrote a cookbook, though not about to be scuppered by a showdance. trouble Mary Berry. Already protesting TAMEKA EMPSON she’s uncoordinated, but the British Vital stats The EastEnders firecracker GROUP DANCE public are dubious about otherworldly is already one of my favourites: Usually joyful carnage, but this beauties claiming to be (romcom- purring innuendo while describing her year’s crop are looking pretty strong. esque, adorably) clumsy. In a cast of dream partner, already planned her Among the shaking of tail feathers: big personalities, she’ll have to fight to showdance, and when asked by Claudia ED BALLS. Thus far, his dancing make an impression, though Aljaž has what she was thinking, she glazed style is “David Brent’s sixth form experience making models palatable. over and sang theme tune. ” and mainly features wrists Partner Aljaž Škorjanec Being paired with new hunky Spanish and stomach. It is glorious. As is his Most likely to… Do some pro Gorka, AKA Gleb 2.0, won’t hurt. uneasy coalition of a wardrobe: M&S pretty ballroom, be nervous Partner Gorka Marquez striped shirt with begrudging sequins of Latin, not last long. Most likely to… Be this Judge Rinder mainly dances with year’s surprise package. his face. It is also glorious. LESLEY JOSEPH Confident performances from Vital stats Beloved Birds of a Feather ORE ODUBA Ore, Will and Tameka. actress. The oldest contestant, but, Vital stats Also hoping for an Olympic Louise holding back. from early evidence, both a confident boost, after helming some of BBC Great rhythm from Anastacia and Naga. performer and mischievous personality. Four’s coverage (though the clip Her pairing with Anton means she’s chosen for his intro involved nearly Follow Marianka Swain’s blog, been placed in the comedy category, falling into the sea). Has promised Strictly Speaking, at dancing-times. though will hopefully manage some strategic tears, and can turn the theme co.uk – and keep dancing! ■

Photograph: SAMANTHA BURNETT courtesy of the BBC. WWW.DANCING-TIMES.CO.UK • OCTOBER 2016 • 79

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