EDITORIAL

COVID 19 ven in the midst of this global COVID19 crisis, some people are Etrying to cover the Jamaat's irresponsibility by bringing a government report of March 13, what more will happen in India than this! They do believe that the Tablighi Jamaat has not violated any norms. Many people are now comparing this meeting to the migration of migrant laborers in Delhi. These people are unable to understand that those workers had to leave the city together because there was no other option. No one decides to walk hundreds of kilometers with their children, they have neither the other way nor the food for two times. But what Tablighi Jamaat did is sheer carelessness and stupidity. It is surprising that the so-called liberals of India, which includes big actors, journalists and writers, are still silent on this. They have tried to justify this absurd act of the Jamaat by citing only the flaws of the government and the administration. If this entire disturbance happened in the name of propagating Islam, then they do not acknowledge it. If such irresponsibility was shown by any other religious group of the country, the same liberals would not have tired of making fun of it. It is very important to understand that speaking out against the wrong done by a conservative group from a particular religious community does not mean that you are stereotyping them. Of course, minorities in India have always faced discrimination and biased behavior, but this does not mean that one should not speak out against crimes committed by a group of conservatives.

ON HUMAN RIGHTS... A case has been registered by the National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) against Tablighi Jamaat chief Maulana Mohammad Saad Kandhalvi. Nizamuddin issue is actually a test for everyone who thinks of secularism and integrity, to come forward, condemn & ask Tablighis to report to authorities. Instead of condemnation, people are debating about religion, Godi media, liberal media and what not. JNU has came up with this new thing, “We stand with Tablighi Jamaat.” Muslims are confusing the condemnation of Tablighi Jamaat with attack on their religion. Is this the secularism? TISS Muslim Youth Organisation is busy in accusing Media, Government, Police and other officials. Where are we going to end up this way? Where is Human Rights Commission? Don’t they think that human rights are violated by the people of Jamaat at certainly high level. Or they are fighting for the rights of Jamaati? We expect some reaction on this mass violation of human rights on behalf of those people who unwillingly got this coronavirus from Tablighi Jamaat. Talking about facts, the people who belong to Tablighi Jamaat are responsible for spreading Coronavirus not only in India but Malaysia, Pakistan and now in Nepal also. May be they got the virus unknowingly but spreading it across the nation is absolutely well planned. Otherwise they won’t be running and escaping like this. Has any of them visited to a doctor for testing on their own? The answer is no. What are they afraid of, doctors, nurses, or may be injection? That’s why they are still misbehaving in hospitals and isolation centres. We are not asking to accuse the community or any religion but at least the group of people who deserve accusations and allegations. By not speaking against this gross violation of human rights, they have demonstrated their hollowness and unbalanced behavior. It also sheds light on the fact that there is nothing like liberalism in India… It is also a kind of diligence. COVID 19 is a pandemic of gigangic proportion which if not controlled may threaten the present speces of life, since it can cross different species as per research and people from all over the world will need to long established boundries to conquer this. Obviously we need a medical hard treatment as a precuation, which is not there at the moment and a vaccine which may save the future generations. [email protected] We

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 3 CinePlex

A ‘RUN’ FROM GERMANY TO BOLLYWOOD! emember, Run Lola Run R(German, 1998), written and wielded by Tom Tykwer which was about a girl’s struggle to mobilize 100,000 Deutsche Mark in 20 minutes to save her boyfriend's life. It is now adapted in Hindi with Taapsee Pannu and Tahir Raj Bhasin headlining the project titled, Looop Lapeta helmed by debutante, Akash Bhatia. The screenplay penned by Vinal Chhawal and Ketan Pedgaonkar is being tweaked to suit our scenario. Bankrolled by Sony Pictures in collaboration with Ellipsis Entertainment and Aayush Looop Lapeta: Taapsee Pannu, Maheshwari. Scheduled for release Tahir Raj Bhasin to star in Hindi in January 2021! adaption of ‘Run Lola Run’.

ALIA BHATT IN AN OFFBEAT ROLE! ased on a chapter Bfrom Hussain Zaidi's book, Mafia Queens of Mumbai about Gangubai Kothewali, the ‘Madam’ of a brothel in Kamathipura, Gangubhai Kathiawadi is a biographical crime film directed by Sanjay Leela Bansali in which Alia Bhatt appears in the title role. The film is being bankrolled by Bhansali and Jayantilal Gada under their respective banners Bhansali Productions and Pen India Limited and is scheduled for release in September 2020. Shantanu Maheshwari too plays a vital role in the film that has been canned by Alia Bhatt the camera by Sudeep Chatterji. gangster drama ‘Gangubai The film is about the life Kathiawadi’ to of Gangubai Kathiawadi, a young mark Bollywood girl is pushed into prostitution by debut of Shantanu her boyfriend Ramnik Lal! Maheshwari. From Bollywood...

A BIOPIC ON AN IAF PILOT!

irected by Sharan Sharma, DGunjan Saxena: The Kargil Girl is a biopic on the IAF Pilot Gunjan Saxena, the first female and Indian woman air force pilot in combat! Janhvi Kapoor plays the protagonist ably supported by Pankaj Tripathi and Angad Bedi extending valuable support in crucial roles. The film has been extensively shot at locations in Lucknow. Vineeth Kumar Singh and Maanav Vij appear in stellar characters. Along with Nikhil Malhotra, Sharan Sharma has penned the film’s script. Sources state that this will be a landmark film in Janhvi’s career!

Janhvi Kapoor to star in Karan Johar’s directorial A MYSTERY Gunjan Saxena: The Kargil Girl. THRILLER!

hile Amitabh Bachchan Wenacts the role of a lawyer, Hashmi appears asabusinesstycooninChehre,a mystery thriller directed by Rumi Jaffery. Krystle D'Souza, Rhea Chakraborty, Siddhanth Kapoor and Annu Kapoor appear in pivotal roles in this flick that has music by Himesh Reshammiya. The film’s USP is believed to be a fourteen-minute long shot by Big B in one go! Binod Pradhan is the cinematographer of this film produced under the banners of Anand Pandit Motion Pictures and Saraswati Entertainment Amitabh Bachchan Private Limited. With the title to play lawyer in standing to refer to ‘faces’, looks Rumy Jeffrey’s like the film is a faceoff between mystery thriller with the two lead actors! Emraan Hashmi.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 5

Other Lands...

AN ANIMATED ADVENTURE ony Cervone has directed Zac Effron's animated movie Scoob to hit the theatres in Warner Bros., Scoob, an T India on May 15 2020. animated adventure comedy under the banner of Warner Bros., which is based on Scooby-Doo by Joe Ruby and Ken Spears. The film features characters from the Scooby-Doo franchise with the voice cast comprising Frank Welker, Will Forte, Zac Efron, Gina Rodriguez and Amanda Seyfried- as the Scooby gang! Tracy Morgan, Kiersey Clemons, Ken Jeong, Mark Wahlberg and Jason Isaacs have lent their voices for the other classic animated characters. Tom Holkenborg is the scorer. A summer 2020 release!

AN ANIMATED Walt Dohrn MUSICAL COMEDY! directorial “Trolls: World niversal’s Trolls: World Tour, Tour” is a based on Troll Dolls by sequel to 2016 U film Trolls. Thomas Dam is a 3D computer animated musical comedy which is a sequel to the 2016 film Trolls. Directed by Walt Dohrn, the ensemble voice cast includes Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake, James Corden, Ozzy Osbourne, Rachel Bloom, Anderson Paak, George Clinton, Mary J. Blige, Kelly Clarkson, Sam Rockwell, Ron Funches, Gwen Stefani, Icona Pop, Kunal Nayyar, Jamie Dornan, J. Balvin and Kenan Thompson. The scenario of the screenplay has been set soon after the events of the first film.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 7 A SUPER WOMAN!

alt Disney’s Black Widow Wis the 24th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), a super hero(ine) film based on the Marvel Comics character of the same name. Written by Eric Pearson from a story by Jac Schaeffer and Ned Benson, the film has been helmed by Cate Shortland. With the screenplay set after Captain America: Civil War (2016), the film sees Natasha Romanoff on the run who is forced to confront her past. Pursued by a force that will stop at nothing to bring her down, Romanoff must deal with her history and turn into an Scarlett Johansson, Avenger!Thefilmshowcases David Harbour to star Scarlett Johansson as Natasha in upcoming superhero Romanoff / Black film “Black Widow”. Widow alongside Florence Pugh, David Harbour, O-T Fagbenle, William Hurt, Ray Winstone and Rachel Weisz.

RUN FOR THE RABBIT!

ritten by Patrick Burleigh Wand Will Gluck (who has directed the film too), Sony Pictures’ Peter Rabbit 2 is a 3D live action, computer animated comedy which is a sequel to 2018's Peter Rabbit that was based on the stories of Peter Rabbit created by Beatrix Potter. James Corden has lent his voice for the title character, alongside Rose Byrne, Domhnall Gleeson and David Oyelowo in live action roles with the voices of Elizabeth Peter Rabbit 2: A computer Debicki and Margot Robbie too! animated movie is a sequel to 2018’s Peter Rabbit. Dominic Lewis is the composer while Peter Menzies Jr. has cranked the camera. Beware, Peter is back and is reputation for mischief is still intact! HeAding South...

MUMBAI TO CHENNAI! tars from Bollywood have always Sexhibited a fanciful fascination to reach out to Chennai, the capital of Kollywood! Hrithik Roshan, the heartthrob of millions wide across the length and breadth of the country had come down to theFilmCapitaloftheSouthinthe capacity of the Brand Ambassador of Rado in connection with the launch of Rado TrueSquareatChennai!Apopularcity mall in the centre of the city was filled to the brim with fans and followers from the city who had gathered in huge numbers to get a glimpse of their favourite Bollywood actor. Hrithik who has been representing Hritik Roshan unveils Rado’s true the banner since seven years, remarked square collection in Chennai. that he deems it a pleasure to be at AN ASPIRING Chennai! DETECTIVE TURN ACOP! Priya Bhavnani Shankar to play lead role in Sri Ganesh directorial 8 Thottakkal. BLOOD SPORT! ctor Krishna and ADirector Sathashivaa collaborated earlier on two occasions, Kazhugu and Kazhugu2,bothofwhich turned out to become box- office hits! The duo has now joined hands for a third time for Bellbottom, a remake of blockbuster Kannada movie with the same title, which a profitable business of `20Cr in box office. More than all, Bollywood’s emperor Akshay Kumar is playing the lead role in ontent-driven films hold a lot of the Hindu remake. Cpromise to the audience and when Kazhugu team Set against the retro expectations match the end again joins hands backdrops, the film is about an product, success is certainly guaranteed! for a remake of aspiring detective, Diwakar, Kannada movie. Crafted and directed by Sri Ganesh who who urged by situations, shot to fame with 8 Thottakkal, the script becomes a cop. He goes of which was brilliantly woven, Kuruthi through a course of Aattam has already raised the bar of unexpected twists and turns expectations to a very high level, with its when he picks up an the anticipations hitting the right place unsolvable case and decides to on the radar. While Priya Bhavani Shankar crack the mystery. Mahima is the heroine, Baby Divyadarshini has Nambiar plays the female lead. played a crucial role in the film besides Radhika and Radharavi in stellar roles.

THE ‘DONOR’ GOES TO SOUTH!

n official remake of Sooji Sarkar’s AVicky Donor, Dharala Prabhu features Harish Kalyan as the protagonist with Tanya Hope as the film’s leading lady. Bankrolled by Screen Scene Media Entertainment, the film is directed by Krishna Marimuthu. With eight music composers on board, the film’s cinematography has been handled by Selvakumar SK. Vivekh, R.S.Sivaji and Sooji Sarkar’s ‘Vicky Donor’ to be remade Sachu are also in the cast. One of the most in Tamil as “Dharala Prabhu”. talked about movies of the season!

THE GOLDEN GIRL! ver since her comeback to the silver screen, EJyothika has been very choosy in selecting characters. She is ensuring that they suit her stature like a T! Bankrolled by 2D Entertainment, the banner known for backing projects that are distinctly different, PonMagal Vandal, scripted and directed by JJ Fredrick, is one such unique venture currently under production! Ramji is cranking the camera while Govind Vasantha is composing the film’s music. A unit hand tells us that Jyothika’s character has been shaped up in a manner that it would bring out the best in her, from her!

JJ Fredrick’s upcoming directorial is Ravichandran’s upcoming directorial featuring titled as PonMagal Vandhal. Prabhu Deva is titled as “Bagheera”.

A ‘JUNGLE BOOK’ CHARACTER! ilmmaker Adhik Ravichandran’s next Fdirectorial venture featuring Prabhu Deva sports the title, Bagheera! This unique title has instantly captured the interest of the audience, creating an inquisitiveness to know what it is all about! Adhik Ravichandran describes its relevance with the script. He says, Bagheera is a fictional character of Black Panther from The Jungle Book, who happens to be a close friend to Mowgli. Similarly, Prabhu Deva sir’s role will be very much identical to this character, which will do anything to protect and destroy impulsively without any second thoughts. Bagheera is believed to be a psycho-mystery thriller laced with lots of surprises and twists! – R. S. Prakash. The Ambitious Girl!

Lofty dreams and high expectations. By Sandeep Hattangadi

wapna belonged to a middle HER MOTHER TRIED TO said, “I want to model first by going Sclass family but she had lofty to Mumbai and become a dreams and high expectations PUT SOME SENSE INTO filmmaker.” Pradeep was surprised from her though she was plain HER BUT TO NO AVAIL. and praised her that she was indeed looking with average intelligence FINALLY SWAPNA planning a big dream and said, but she was hell bent on bagging a “Your dream and ambition is good groom who was rich and had a well MOVED ON TO MUMBAI but its too unrealistic. You need a paying job. Finally the day dawned AND STARTED HER lot of contacts and hard work for when an expectant groom with his that.” Swapna replied confidently, family came to see her. Swapna and STRUGGLE. WHAT SHE “Once I reach Mumbai I will achieve her sisters had all prepared her for ACHIEVED IS QUITE A all my dreams.” the ‘Interview’ and she came with a MYSTERY BUT SHE Pradeep asked, “So what about good saree draped and carrying tea our marriage?” Swapna said, “What in a beautiful tea set, she served the CERTAINLY PUT HER is your current job like?” Pradeep family of the groom. The groom’s BEST INTO HER. replied, “I am a clerk in government family was satisfied with the first service which is a well paying and a look of Swapna and immediately Swapna replied, “It’s my traditional stable job and I can get a transfer to said yes to the bride in waiting. house built by my grandfather when Mumbai to be with you.” Swapna When the discussions went further he was a big post engineer in the then met her mother downstairs the two families discussed the British company.” Pradeep queried, and said that she was not happy salary of the groom and their “What about your sisters?” Swapna with the match as she wanted expectations of dowry which they answered “My eldest sister is a someone in a higher position. Her said was not much. successful banker and married to a mother tried to put some sense into Finally Swapna and the groom finance consultant who is well her but to no avail. Finally Swapna were left alone to discuss their placed and my middle sister is an moved on to Mumbai and started views. Swapna said, “How did you advertising professional and her struggle. What she achieved is like the house?” The groom Pradeep married to a highly regarded ad quite a mystery but she certainly put said, “It’s beautiful and I have never filmmaker.” Pradeep queried, her best into her. Que Sera Sera! seen such houses in Indore before.” “What about you?” Swapna loftily Vive La Queen! We

12 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 DEBUNKING COVID-19 THEORIES AND FUTURE PROSPECTS

Fig: Covid 19, Corona Replication. Contributed by Rohan Bir Singh, MD

s a teacher my first love which takes some effort to reach designingonitsvaccine? Aremains teaching but I have andmostofusjustabandonthe Ironically, I usually tell my another passion and my love steep climb midway, only few of the students that if one takes medicines for majestic forts is indomitable. I macrophages and dendritic cells for flu, he gets cured by the end of a often use them as analogy in my carry certain portions of the foreign week and if not, it takes seven days teachings and derive the concept of particle to be recognized as an for him to recover. Now, this may a fort as metaphor for under- outsider by the third level of our seem rather baffling to many. This is standing our body’s immune defense system which comprises where one should understand that system. Akin to the various layers of theBandtheT-lymphocytesor dealing with viruses is not easy and cordons of a fort, our body too has whenwesaytheB-lymphocytes taking antibiotics will even worsen various levels of defense start producing antibodies against the situation as it kills the good gut- mechanisms to combat the invading the pathogen and T-lymphocytes kill bacteria and increases the chances pathogens. To make it more easy, the infected cells or viruses. of secondary infection. we have our skin, saliva, tears, Herein, I must mention that Firstly we should understand vaginal secretions as our first level SARS-CoV-2 has been eternally what a virus is. It’s purely a of defense, then we have cellular present within human population biochemical molecule comprises of cells like leukocytes, macrophages and has shown its presence via the genetic material (either DNA or and neutrophils which when common cold and flu; we mostly get RNA) enclosed within a protein encounter any foreign particle, every season. So, why is this COVID- coat. It can replicate only within a engulf and eat it, marking them as 19 wrecking such havoc on human living host otherwise it is merely like second level of our defenses. lives now? And why is there such a dust particle. Hence, it is much Finally, like the last atop of the fort paranoia and one-upmanship on easier to synthesize such a molecule

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 13 (the widespread theory of COVID-19 COVID-19 BELONGS TO A elicit any immune response towards being synthesized in some Chinese the virus. At this stage the carrier is laboratory). Viruses live two lives; LARGE FAMILY OF asymptomatic and the virus is first when they comfortably live SINGLE-STRANDED RNA happily leading its lysogeny life within the host cells without even VIRUSES (+SSRNA) AND cycle. It is only when it decides to marking their presence (Lysogeny break open the host cell in search of cycle) and second when they decide IS UBIQUITOUSLY greener pastures; the body immune to leave their host and move on to PRESENT IN DIFFERENT system goes berserk. The viral other host (Lytic cycle). They are infection is capable of producing an virulent in their lytic cycle when ANIMAL SPECIES. THESE excessive immune reaction in the they disrupt their host cells, even VIRUSES CAN CROSS host. Imagine millions of host cell killing them, so as to migrate to SPECIES BARRIERS AND getting ruptured to release the other host. Most of the hosts are newly formed viruses with their asymptomatic when the virus is in AS WE HAVE new protein coat causing excessive their lysogeny stage. So, what WITNESSED IN PAST tissue damage. At this time, all the makes it so difficult to design a three levels of immune system get vaccine for a viral disease? The TOO WITH DISEASES activated, releasing pro- answer is simple; here we are SUCH AS MERS AND inflammatory cytokines, aptly called dealing with an enemy which is SARS; WHICH 'cytokine storm'. In simple words, smart enough to shift itself the immune cells starts with all its between living and nonliving form. PROBABLY HAVE defense equipment to combat the Bacteria are simplest living ORIGINATED IN BATS virus and cytokines are guns to kill organisms and we have antibiotics them thus, the cytokine release against them but we cannot use the AND THEN MOVED INTO syndrome (CRS) is an acute same for a virus. That is the reason, OTHER MAMMALIAN systemic inflammatory syndrome we still do not have any vaccines HOSTS AND FINALLY characterized by fever and multiple against HIV and have prophylactic organ dysfunction. We must also against HPV. JUMPED TO HUMANS. realize that whenever there is a war, damage occurs on both ends and at this stage the person is CLAIMS OF FINDING symptomatic. At this stage, MERS and SARS; which probably AND CURING PATIENTS systemic corticosteroids (immune- have originated in bats and then suppressor) for the treatment of Surprisingly, news of claims of moved into other mammalian hosts viral pneumonia are not finding and curing patients with and finally jumped to humans. Now recommended. Moreover, potential drugs for COVID-19 has coming right to the point, why the unselective or inappropriate also surfaced. Few published news world is still struggling to create a administration of antibiotics should like the success story from Dr. vaccine? Why did I mention that a be avoided; although some do Vladimir Zelenko, a board-certified common flu eventually gets away recommend the same possibly for family practitioner in New York, with or without the consumption of avoiding secondary bacterial who had successfully treated 350 any drug? Why are so many claims infection. Fever is needed to kill coronavirus patients with 100 of antimalarials or antiparasites as viruses, so popping an antipyretic percent success using a cocktail of possible drugs for COVID-19? To will only prolong the infection. drugs: hydroxychloroquine answer these questions, one must In such a scenario, Dr. Zelenko’s (antimalarial), in combination with understand the mechanism of virus use of hydroxychloroquine (HCQ), azithromycin (Z-Pak), an antibiotic action within our body. an antimalarial for treatment of caught my attention. A similar news As was already made clear, Virus COVID-19 came as an antithesis. item where the drug “Ivermectin” makes the host cell as it’s home and Hydroxychloroquine is an anti- mainly used for nematode control like any other cell of our body which inflammatory as well as and other ectoparasitic disease like is involved in protein synthesis and immunosuppressive for cellular scabies in cattle, horses, pigs and transportation, the viral genome immunity and sometimes even used dogs is being seen as potential drug does the same with the help of its to treat autoimmunity. It may also against COVID-19. Strangely, one host machinery. So they happily cause heart problems, vision can question how an anti-malarial or mingle with the cellular system problems and many more morbidity. antiworm drug could have been without even the host getting a Then, why hydroxychloroquine? used against a viral disease, that too whiff of it. Elimination of any The answer is in the way HCQ works a RNA based virus? pathogen actually depends on within the cell. It is also an COVID-19 belongs to a large recognition of the pathogen as autophagosome-lysosome fusion family of single-stranded RNA foreign by the body immune inhibitor broadly used in autophagy. viruses (+ssRNA) and is ubiquitously system. Viruses smartly evade this Endosome-lysosome fusion is a present in different animal species. first step and cleverly unzip its common process by which a normal These viruses can cross species protein coat and let only the cell transports its cargo protein barriers and as we have witnessed genome enter the host cell, thus outside the plasma membrane. in past too with diseases such as fooling it and the host does not HCQ is a weak basic drug that

14 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 accumulates in the acidic environment of cellular organelles involved in protein trafficking. Thus HCQ interferes with endosome/lysosome trafficking of viral protein during virions maturation and helps inhibit replication of different viruses. Doing so, HCQ suppresses the ongoing cytokine storm as most death occurs due to excessive immune response of the body towards the pathogen. So, slight suppression allows creating a balance in dealing with the virus, at the same time not killing the host as a result of that response. COVID- patients at the late stage of disease may not be able to handle this and it may be too risky but HCQ definitely helped gain the immune-balance with the symptomatic patients and help them cure. Till date no antiviral treatments have been approved for COVID-19, but use of market available antivirals like Lopinavir/Ritonavir has been proposed. An inhibitor of RNA polymerase, Remdesivir (GS5734) was shown to be active against multiple RNA viruses, including Ebola and could be effective for both prophylaxis and therapy of HCoVs infection. RNA polymerases are those molecules which help make proteins in our cells, so inhibiting them will hamper more viral protein synthesis. Similarly, Ivermectin is believed to block the cargo transporter halting the virus midway before it can enter the nucleus, and so it can’t make copies of itself. Thus, the virus cannot proliferate and stops the infection from getting worse. Developing countries like INDIA, should capitalize on the full public Figure 2: Pictographic representation of various strategies being hypothesized as health potential of Ivermectin as it is potential drugs and their targets for treatment against COVID-19 much cheaper and easily available. Carefully designed studies to dealt with the residual virus using evaluate the efficacy of community- patients would definitely develop the above mentioned drugs and the wide ivermectin based control good amount of antibodies body’s own immunity. There are programmes must be the strategy (adaptive immunity or the third level definitely some grey areas too, as for COVID-19 control. of immunity) against COVID-19. And they are very preliminary findings. Meanwhile, Dr. Faheem Younnus I am very optimistic at this point The possibility can be that the claimed that he successfully treated hoping that most of our Indian convalescent plasma transfusion patients on ventilators with population will able to enhance this may be helpful in the treatment of antibody rich plasma from mechanismtogainimmunityasour critically ill patients with COVID-19, recovered patients. In my opinion, immune system are more resistant but this approach requires the plasma transfer may have than the overly sanitized evaluation in randomized clinical reduced viral load and titre as the westerners. trials. antibodies could support antibody- – Dr. Soma M. Ghorai The hypothesis can be used to dependent cell-mediated Associate Professor, Hindu College treat the severely ill. Recovered cytotoxicity. That could have helped University of Delhi.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 15 The Urban Indian Marriage, is the Institution getting Outdated? New generation trends. By Kolla Krishna Madhavi

on’t you want kids?” DSurprisingly, when someone delays their marriage, this is the more common question they are asked. In a country which is as pronatal as India, parenthood is a desirable state, where ‘vansh’ (or ‘progeny’) help to continue the family legacy. As per the Sample Registration System demographic survey (2017 SRS survey), Census India, around 24.7 per cent in urban India got married between 18 and 20 years of age. The corresponding figure for Census 2011 was 29.6 per cent.

“I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?” – George Carlin What is changing around the world? Not just in India but globally, more and more urban youth are increasingly postponing their marriage, either by choice or due to circumstances. In a face-off between career and marriage, career seems to be taking the lead. And in tandem, childbearing is taking a backstage. Within the Asian region, such trends were first observed in Japan and more recently in South Korea, Taiwan, Singapore, China as well as India.

Asian trends in age at the time of marriage The emphasis on lineage and ancestor worship is particularly pronounced in Asian countries like India, China, Japan, etc. As per a study by Bumpass, Rindfuss, and colleagues (Bumpass et al. 2009; Rindfuss et al. 2004), marriage is viewed in Japan and East Asia as a “package” of family expectations and obligations that may be increasingly unattractive to well-educated young women and THIS HAS GREATLY and more independent than they men. were ever before. People do not As per the recent survey of East INFLUENCED URBAN want to get married or adjust, they Asia forum, In Asian countries less YOUTH IN ASIAN want to focus on their career. They than five percent of women are COUNTRIES LIKE CHINA, want space and want to live with unmarried by the age of 50. their lifestyle. And when this However, over recent decades, TAIWAN, KOREA, INDIA, continues to happen, there will be countries in East and Southeast Asia JAPAN, ETC. no one to carry forward their have seen a significant decline in legacy, tradition or culture. There marriages. WHO ARE CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE OF will be no descendants for This in turn, has directly the inheritance of their contributed to a decline in the MODERNIZATION AND possessions. fertility rate to ultra-low levels as GLOBAL In countries such as Japan, there are few instances of INDUSTRIALIZATION, Taiwan and Myanmar, about 20 childbearing outside marriage in percent of women currently in their most Asian countries. AND ARE ACTIVELY 20s and 30s could well remain In China, though marriage EMULATING WESTERN single when they reach their late remains near-universal, a trend CULTURE. 40s. towards delayed marriage is clear While women and men, among well-educated city dwellers especially in urban areas, have while cohabitation and divorce The causal factors for the downward slide in urban Indian marriages started to delay marriage, the cases are rising. average age of women’s first The modern form of the family, “Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.” marriage across Nepal and India is exemplified by Europe and the U.S., still the youngest across all regions. is characterized by low fertility, – Mae West, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said It increased from 19.3 to 20.8 late marriages and nuclear between 1990 and 2010, while that families. of men increased from 24.1 to 25.0 This has greatly influenced urban The gradual decline in the number of urban Indian ‘marriages’ years. youth in Asian countries like China, In India, as of 2011, men were Taiwan, Korea, India, Japan, etc. seems to be a reflection of the changing times. The concept of an getting married at the age of 26.0 who are caught in the crossfire of whereas women were getting modernization and global Indian marriage has also undergone a sea change as compared to the married at 22.2 with a noticeable industrialization, and are actively age difference of three to eight emulating Western culture. earlier generation. In this 21st century, people are much stronger years.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 17 As per the National Family Health towards marriage. They want Physical and mental stress: Survey (NFHS), infertility rate is high complete freedom to be able to The rigours of work and among women in urban areas. This control and utilise their earnings, be demands of running a home has may be either due to their changed it independence from their parents’ changed drastically, bringing with it lifestyle or a later age at first or from their spouse’s interference. an entire baggage of physical and marriage. This is perceived as one of the key mental stress. criteria of ‘adulthood’. An increasing number of Residence 2013 2014 youngsters are seeing marriage as a Urban 22.5 23.2 Emotional commitment: place which will only precipitate The new-age generation is not their stress levels. Source: ‘Women and Men in India - always ready to make an emotional 2016’, Ministry of Statistics and commitment with the first person Career building: Programme Implementation, GoI they get romantically involved with. Work demands of late imply a They want to explore life and live by certain way of life that is There are numerous factors their terms before making any long- incompatible with a family. With which are contributing to an term commitment. And rather than people having erratic work inclination towards later or less face compatibility issues later, they schedules and an increasing marriage among the urban youth are willing to wait for the ‘perfect’ pressure to socialise with their throughout Asia. partner. office colleagues, many youngsters are preferring to stay away from a Changing expectations: married life. When couples first meet, it’s not clear whether their expectations in Tertiary education: life are and will remain the same. THE NEW-AGE “Marriage can wait, education They might graduate, get married, GENERATION IS NOT cannot.” work for sometime and find out ALWAYS READY TO – Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand that they’re actually completely MAKE AN EMOTIONAL Splendid Suns different from each other. So more couples are opting for a long COMMITMENT WITH Higher education has opened up courtship period where they get THE FIRST PERSON multiple avenues to pursue ample time to woo and bond with THEY GET academic and professional interests each other. without being bogged down by an ROMANTICALLY early marriage. Full-time studies and Financial Independence: INVOLVED WITH. THEY a family aren’t necessarily The current generation is more WANT TO EXPLORE LIFE compatible. oriented towards earning their own AND LIVE BY THEIR As per the NFHS survey, since the livelihood. The advent of personal time it takes to get an education has property and savings has given rise TERMS BEFORE increased, it has simultaneously to a more responsible attitude MAKING ANY LONG- pushed back the marriage age. With TERM COMMITMENT. increasing levels of educational attainment among women, the survey indicates that infertility rate is also on the upswing. India, Bangladesh, Singapore, Thailand and Myanmar – are showing patterns of delayed marriage among women – especially among the highly educated. Lifestyle changes: There is an increasing perception these days that marriage and childbearing drastically change a person’s life. Rather than being completely tied to the responsibilities of running a home, both men and women are veering towards living a separate life where they are free to choose their friends, their hobbies and their pursuits.

18 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 Cohabitation on the rise: Some of the motives for getting married usually include love, children, stability, social status, and independence from one’s parents. Modern couples can accomplish almost all of a married life without entering into a binding marriage, so there is a propensity to just date someone and enter into a live-in relationship when they want to show a little more commitment to each other. Sexual mobility, extramarital inter-relations are also other rising trends which are allowing people to opt for non-marital relationships. Long-distance relationships: Due to work commitments, couples are often located in different ends of the world. The post-wedding period is magical, when a couple wants to spend all their time together. They are willing to wait until such time before tying the knot. In-laws pressure: TAKE THE RECENT married in quiet and scenic surroundings and away from the Until very recently, almost every EXAMPLES OF regular crowd. Take the recent woman living in urban areas in India ANUSHKA SHARMA examples of Anushka Sharma and 1was expected to dedicate their Virat Kohli or Deepika Padukone and entire life to their husband’s home AND VIRAT KOHLI OR Ranveer Singh or Priyanka Chopra and merge their complete DEEPIKA PADUKONE and Nick Jonas. personality with their in-laws AND RANVEER SINGH All three couples opted for expectations. OR PRIYANKA CHOPRA destination weddings. Their media Research in India and Nepal coverage started well before the highlights the ways in which AND NICK JONAS. actual wedding took place and mothers-in-law control the choices ALL THREE COUPLES continued long after. of their daughters-in-law, ranging OPTED FOR In the quest to have a from choosing their clothes to memorable wedding, couples are making decisions over childbearing DESTINATION open to a long haul, so as to work or children’s marriages. Not getting WEDDINGS. THEIR out each detail. married is a simple way to avoid MEDIA COVERAGE such hassles. STARTED WELL With delayed marriages, Focus on life’s opportunities: BEFORE THE ACTUAL does parenting also take a backseat? Newgen is always on the lookout WEDDING TOOK Some of the causal factors for for something bigger and better. PLACE opting to not have children are: They are unsure how life will pan out for them and if it will bring some marriages. This means that while Too much of dependency: unexpected opportunities like the couple are having the freedom Some cherish their independence career breaks or travel, which to choose their life partner, they are too much and the thought of having they may miss if they are also giving importance to their dependent children doesn’t appeal married. family’s acceptance of their choice. to them. Choosing one’s own life This process may take a while but Kiran Chopra is in her early 50s, a partner: they are willing to wait until widow who runs a very popular then. boutique in Pune. Her husband and Unlike earlier, rather than she were not ready to raise a child arranged marriages or self as they felt that it was a huge marriages, more and more couples Destination weddings: Another trend that has been financial and emotional investment. are opting for semi-arranged gaining a lot of attention is to get Kiran has two dogs for company

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 19 and whenever she misses having time comes. Until then, we want to Kids from a previous children around, she says, “I just enjoy our life to the maximum. Both marriage: drop into a friend’s place and enjoy of us love traveling and have Remarriage is increasingly seen their family outings. Her kids make complete freedom to take off to an among the urban settlers. If either me feel very welcome and wanted. unknown destination at a moment’s of the partners has a child from a My friend’s family is my extended notice.” previous marriage, the couple family.” As quoted in marieclaire.co.uk, decides to stop with American actressJennifer Aniston, that. Dipti Mishra, 34, living in the Lack of maternal instinct: who opted to be childfree, said, “I USA remarried recently. She was a There is a popular saying, don’t have this sort of checklist of little apprehensive at first. She said, “Everybody with a womb doesn't things that have to be done and if “I wanted to remarry because I have to have a child any more than they’re not checked then I’ve failed wanted a partner and was not everybody with vocal cords has to some part of my feminism, or my necessarily looking for a father for be an opera singer.” being a woman, or my worth or my my daughter. When my husband said Although it sounds sacrilege in value as a woman. I’ve birthed a lot he didn’t want any more children, I India, there is a distinct burden to of things, and I feel like I’ve felt our family was complete and got become a good mother but not mothered many things.” ready for the next step.” everyone has the maternal instinct Shabana Azmi, a well-known or the mental makeup to be artist and a social and women's one. REMARRIAGE IS rights activist got married to Javed Sneha Rastogi said that her INCREASINGLY SEEN Akhtar in 1984. Three decades down husband and she chose to be AMONG THE URBAN the line, she chose to remain childfree as they believe that childfree while Javed has two parenthood is not for everyone. SETTLERS. IF EITHER OF children from his previous Both of them are IT professionals, in THE PARTNERS HAS A marriage. their mid-30s and settled in CHILD FROM A Hyderabad. They sleep-in late Lifestyle changes: whenever they get a chance. They PREVIOUS MARRIAGE, Sriram, 33 years, living in Mumbai want to be free from the rigours of THE COUPLE DECIDES said, “I work 10-12 hours each day. changing diapers and attending TO STOP WITH THAT. Add another 2-3 hours of travel time. school PTMs. Neither of them is I barely get time to spend with my worried about not having progeny. THREE DECADES DOWN wife, so what is the point of Sneha opined, “I believe that the THE LINE, SHE CHOSE having children just for the sake of compromise and commitment TO REMAIN CHILDFREE it?” required to rear a child is enormous. WHILE JAVED HAS TWO Things were different earlier We have decided to give away all our when people lived very close to savings to an orphanage when the CHILDREN FROM HIS their workplaces. They enjoyed a PREVIOUS MARRIAGE. life of leisure as they had fewer distractions. Now, the minute a couple gets some time off, they decide to either relax at home or go for an outing. With kids around, some urban youth find that their lifestyle is being cramped. Health problems: Women may have hormone imbalance or men may have other health issues, because of which they may not be able to conceive a child. Medical treatment can prove very costly and out of range for most pockets.

Raju (on conditions of anonymity said), “My wife has hormonal imbalance. We tried IVF a couple of times but each cycle of treatment would cost us around three to four lakhs of rupees. We were then in our mid-30s and could barely afford this kind of treatment, so we finally gave

20 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 Woman’s up. Now we are in our early 50s. Not succumbing to societal We’re financially well-settled now pressure: Entrechat but it is too late for medical Rekha Khan has an inter-faith interventions at this age.” marriage. She and her husband, Amer decided not to have children. Surrogacy: Settled now in Canada, in their early Many couples are opting to have 40s, both are financially children late due to a delay in their independent, so money is not the career. By the time they are criteria. Rekha said, “Amer and I got reasonably settled, they are already married soon after college because Ruby Sinha – Founder, sheatwork.com in their mid-30s. Due to lifestyle we wanted to be together for the A one stop knowledge hub for women changes, it may be difficult for them rest of our lives. We faced a lot of entrepreneurs to conceive children. Surrogacy is family and societal pressures an option but many don’t opt for it initially. Now that things are slowly Powered by Ambition, Women as it can lead to legal settling down, why should we Entrepreneurs are Unstoppable! entanglements. The wife should complicate our lives again by having Ambition plays a large role in an also be able to accept the child children? This will only raise fresh entrepreneurʼs journey. Entrepreneurs wonʼt wholeheartedly or it could lead to issues.” get far without ambition, and the reality is that mental repercussions on both the female entrepreneurs need to be equipped child and the mother. with this quality, even more. Women are Straining Earth’s resources: indeed doing this right and proving to be Some of the societal and extraordinary. The gender bias is being Adoption: environmental concerns are now addressed by women, and how! This is not an easy process. Both playing on people’s minds in urban The recent Ambitious Insights report the husband and wife should be in India. A small but growing number unveiled by American Express in partnership the same frame of mind and be of voices have decided not to with The New York Womenʼs Foundation open to adopting either a boy or a reproduce to ease the strain on throws light on the fact that Indian women girl. Earth’s resources. have the confidence to nurture their ambitions and lead the world in setting an example. According to the survey, 89% of Indian K. Satyanarayana, working in an Raksha, 28, an animator, justifies working women believe it is important to have IT company in Bengaluru said, “We her decision to not have children. ambitions as compared to the global average tried adopting a child but the process “Each day of our existence, we find of 59%. itself takes about four to five years. that environmental issues like clean This makes one wonder what is the role of Now, we are in our early 50s and are air, access to water, etc. are ambition? As an entrepreneur moves from hardly in a position to take care of a multiplying alarmingly. When we one level to another, it is obvious that young child and be fully involved ambition is the ʻpushʼ factor. It never lets you don’t have sufficient resources for down and gives you the inspiration to keep with them in their formative years. our own survival, how will our moving ahead, however tough the We treat our siblings’ kids as our very children be able to cope with circumstances may be. own and they too, give back their non-existence?”, Even in tradition male dominated business abundant love to us.” she said. families, women are voicing their ambitions. Here I take the case of Ms Valli Arunachalam, Financial Independence: Scattered family: daughter of the late MV Murugappan, who Growing financial wings is was the grandson of Murugappa Group. She K. Sudhakar said, “You spend all is fighting for her rights in the board of the another important cause for not your adult life bringing up your group holding company, Ambadi Investments planning on having children. children and taking care of their Ltd (AIL), which has traditionally been Aditi Sharma, coming from a every need. Then they move out to reserved for male heirs of the family. Itʼs a middle-class background, grew up another country or place to eke out stiff battle but the lady is bravely sticking to in a family where, unlike her their living. Parents and children are her principles and her ambition to keep the brother, she rarely got any pocket- separated with 2 distinct lives. You family businessʼs flag flying. money. Now that she has a well- barely spend a week together in a Women especially women entrepreneurs paying job as an accountant in an must be ready to stand by their decisions. year. Just being ambitious wonʼt help. MNC, she is not ready to spend her Parents are on their own for the Entrepreneurs have to study their SWOT and money on anyone else. Married five rest of the time. It doesn’t make a overcome their weaknesses in order to years ago, Rekha opined, “Why difference if a couple has a child or succeed. Handling the highs and the lows is should I be made to feel guilty if I doesn’t as the end result is almost critical. It will not always be easy, especially spend my hard-earned money on the same. Is it really worth all that when the business is at the taking a down- myself? I constantly face pressure effort in bringing up a child?” turn, during an economic recession or even from my in-laws to have children. My the current COVID 19 phenomena. Ambition, determination, hard work and pride of husband and I may decide to have a Premium on career: ownership will help in overcoming such child later in life. If I cannot conceive A significant number of urban challenging situations. at that time, we can always adopt a youth place a very high value on child but I’m not going to give up my having a top-notch career. This is Your entrepreneurship journey financial independence for anyone why a number of people are will be filled with many small steps but now, even for a child.” postponing one of the key always keep the big picture in mind as you pursue your dream. For any feedback/queries, mail to [email protected] children are the two fundamental reasons for a woman’s existence. Saira Banu, another popular actress of yesteryears, married Dilip Kumar over four decades ago. They decided to remain childfree.

Speaking to internationalchildfreeday.com, Emma Palmer, winner of the 2018 Childfree Person of the Year award said, “Although not easy for me, consciously deciding to live a childfree life put the global consequences of my reproductive choice first.” The childfree by choice movement unites those who have rejected the idea of having children. They enjoy a fulfilling life without their offspring, and fight the stigma associated with not bearing a child. Childfree evangelists even have their very own ‘International Childfree Day’. Childlessness: events in a marriage – childbearing. Opting to be childfree Childlessness may have serious Many want to build their careers, This is not easy in our country demographic, social and health enjoy their freedom and discover where girls are taught at young age implications whereas studies have themselves before settling down. that getting married and having shown that people who have decided to be childfree are better Crime and violence: CHILDLESSNESS MAY able to cope with their condition. Rashi Sharma, 29, a software HAVE SERIOUS engineer from Chennai, said, “Our DEMOGRAPHIC, SOCIAL Where is all this leading to? world is in a crisis. Each day, we are While striving for socio-economic struggling to survive. There is so AND HEALTH independence, some key drivers in much crime and violence. I will not IMPLICATIONS relationships are being ignored by be able to spend a single day WHEREAS STUDIES millenials. There has to be a fine without worrying about the safety HAVE SHOWN THAT balance in the way we weave our of my child. Under the relationships into the fabric of our circumstances, I’ve decided not to PEOPLE WHO HAVE lives. bring a child into this world.” DECIDED TO BE CHILDFREE ARE BETTER Dependency on others for: Voluntary Human Extinction ✿ Positive self-image Movement (VHEM): ABLE TO COPE WITH ✿ Support in our busy lives A small but growing percentage THEIR CONDITION. ✿ Entertainment quotient of people around the world believe children should not be brought into State of Being (with reference to not having children) the world. They are activists who are pushing the cause of human Characteristics Infertility Childless Childfree extinction. Married Yes, > 5 years Yes, > 5 years Maybe Speaking to ‘The Print’, Pratima Naik (28 years), an engineering Currently Pregnant No No No graduate based in Bengaluru is Terminated None None Maybe committed to never having children. Pregnancy History “This is a completely voluntary, non- Use of Never Never Maybe violent movement,” Naik said. “We Contraceptives don’t want to impose our beliefs on anyone, but more people need to Number of Children Zero No living Zero consider why having a child in the Ever Born children world right now isn’t right.” Note: Not all infertile or childless people are childfree.

22 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 Childlessness per cent in India Age group Percentage % 30-49 5.5 45-49 5.2 Across All Age Groups 2.5 Source: National Family Health Survey (NFHS - 3)

PREFERENCE FOR CHILDERN EASES... Total fertility rate (number of children) Rural Urban (LHS) Total 3.0 2.6 2.4 2.4 2.3 2.3 2.3 2.2 2.2

2.0 2.4 CAN ONE LESS HUMAN REALLY IMPACT THE 1.0 2.2 ENVIRONMENT? AN ‘ENVIRONMENTAL 0 2.0 RESEARCH LETTERS’ 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 STUDY EQUATES THE Image Source: Registrar General of India IMPACT OF HAVING ONE FEWER CHILD TO EMISSION REDUCTION OF 58 METRIC TONNES In 2017, the Population Reference Bureau released a fact sheet showing that the top two countries expected OF CO2 (TCO2E) FOR to lose population between then and 2050 were: EACH YEAR OF THE China (-44.3 per cent) PARENT’S LIFE. Japan (-24.8 per cent) Thailand (-3.5 per cent) and South Korea ( -2.2 per cent) figure in the 6th and 8th spots globally. the WHO recommended replacement level of 2.1. This is a positive development although the declining figure could be an indicator for both childless and childfree couples. As per the report, the decline has Independence because: been steeper in urban areas where ✿ Families are living apart ✿ People want privacy India’s Total Fertility Rate ✿ Economic freedom YEAR * 1970 1980 1990 2000 2011 2017 The ‘hum do, humare do’ family picture is being completed with a Total Fertility 5.40 4.95 3.80 3.06 2.50 2.20 couple of pets or plants or friends, Rate (TFR) * and not necessarily in that order. Data Source: NITI Aayog, GoI Online social acceptance (rather than personal interactions) has also taken center stage in many of our the TFR has come down from 4.1 lives. reproductive period. This is the rate (1971) to 1.7 (2017). at which a population exactly Incidentally, the Zero Population Total fertility ratio replaces itself from one Movement was ignited in the late The Total Fertility Ratio (TFR) is generation to the next, without 1060s by Paul Ehrlich’s book, 'The the average number of children migration. Population Bomb’. expected to be born per woman In 2017, India had a total fertility With just about four lakh people, during her entire span of rate (TFR) of 2.2, which is just above Maldives is the least populated

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 23 Asian nation but has one of the reduction of 58 metric tonnes of lifestyle also eventually crave similar world's highest birth rates. On the CO2 (tCO2e) for each year of the emotional bonding. They end up other hand, among countries with parent’s life. getting pets to feel wanted and more than 40 million people, Japan needed. Many people who had Is the Urban Indian marriage getting initially planned not to have children outdated? give in when they realise that the Some Countries which are “A great marriage is not when the biological clock is ticking.” at or nearing 'perfect couple' comes together. It is Zero Population Growth (ZPG) when an imperfect couple learns to Visala, a sociologist said, “I enjoy their differences.” believe the first and foremost Iceland, Germany, Portugal, Poland – Dave Meurer purpose of having children was to People can get very judgemental perpetuate the human race and Source: populationeducation.org (2014) based on their perceptions of each nurturing children was by instinct. As other and break-up at a moment’s the human race evolved, parenting notice. has taken many shapes according to physical, economical, social and Vijaya Dasari, a counselor, psychological needs. When basic working in Visakhapatnam said, needs like safety and security are met Some Countries worldwide “About three decades ago, I gave and resources are aplenty, families which are experiencing Negative birth to my child without any become more self-centered and Population Growth (NPG) expectations. I enjoyed every perpetuate a small or no family moment with my little baby. Life concept. Japan, Latvia, Lithuania, Moldova, changed and filled with rainbow Belonging is another basic need. Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, Hungary, colour after she arrived. It became This gives rise to love, marriage, Italy, Greece easier to face any challenge in every family, etc. When this need is not turn of my life with her beside me.” addressed, people end up Source: populationeducation.org (2020) substituting with having pets and Lalitha V., 54 years old, who has getting involved in other activities.” is ranked the lowest out of 32 for its an IT business in the USA said, “The ratio of children to the overall intense love and affection I feel Vidya Jonalgada, a housewife in population. Can one less human towards my children, and the need to Hyderabad, said, “In case differences really impact the environment? An want to protect, provide and nurture arise between wife and husband, ‘Environmental Research Letters’ them is what gives me immense they tend to compromise when they study equates the impact of having satisfaction. The younger generation have children. Children are the glue one fewer child to emission who choose not to get married and that holds a family together. A have children so they can maintain a woman without a child can be arrogant and dissatisfied with life SANIA MIRZA AND but when she has a child, she feels secure and develops a purpose for SHOAIB MALIK GOT living.” MARRIED IN 2010 AND Unless humans continue to opt for children, there will be nobody to WERE BLESSED WITH A carry on their legacy, tradition or CHILD EIGHT YEARS culture. There will be no descendants for the inheritance of LATER. THEIRS IS A possessions. CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF A Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik got married in 2010 and were blessed BUSY AND CAREER- with a child eight years later. Theirs ORIENTED COUPLE is a classic example of a busy and career-oriented couple who are in a WHO ARE IN A LONG- long-distance marriage but have DISTANCE MARRIAGE been able to finely balance the demands of their sporting career BUT HAVE BEEN ABLE and respecting each other’s TO FINELY BALANCE commitment to their profession THE DEMANDS. while retaining the zing in their marriage. We

Solo Women Travelling The unprecedented rise. By Sudha Chandrasekaran

tatistically, solo female travel Sis spreading like wildfire amongst curious women looking for their next adventure in life. Women have been travelling more than ever in the self-drive mode, overcoming the long-drawn history of systemic prejudice and gender bias, with both inbound and outbound tourism witnessing accelerated growth in this segment,” says a recently released report. A study has shown that there has been a 230% increase in the number of women-only travel companies in the past six years. Many women travel the world alone and end up fine. However, many people instantly exaggerate the perils and dwell on a single woman’s vulnerability. Often this doom-ridden response is just an excuse for timidity of spirit of solo female travellers. Fear is inevitable but that cannot paralyse you. For women travellers, it will never be the right time to travel because you’ll always be asked when you’ll settle down; there will never be an accepted time; you’ll always be a target…as there are statistics of violent crimes globally – such as rape and murder – you will never have enough money; your family will always freak out. The toughest part of traveling solo is often the pushback from our parents; you’ll wait forever for someone to join you; In some parts of the world and in certain cultures, women don’t enjoy the same freedoms as others and travelling alone may be regarded as a luxury; Sometimes, the dream to travel will be yours alone, and that means Solo Female Travel you have to do it all by yourself. It’s all about just taking that first step. Solo female travel has become popular in the last decade. The Today’s female travellers are rate of travel has increased by 11% since last year. independent, unafraid, and looking to explore new and authentic 30 destinations. Women can also be adrenaline junkies. 15 per cent of women travel for adventure sports. Modern women have become 20 sophisticated and self-reliant and they are also out there, like their male counterparts – exploring 10 nature; meeting new people, experiencing new cultures, practising new languages; pursuing 0 hobbies and interests; coming face- to-face with history; getting some 2014 2015 rest and relaxation, and digging their heels into sports and athletic challenges. And along the way, There are many reasons why women prefer to travel alone. that they’re gaining confidence, learning may be soul searching or their work. Females who are widowed new skills and enjoying the freedom or divorced tend to travel more. of following their own schedules and travelling at their own pace, Widowed and divorced even if they are travelling “solo” with a tour group of like-minded women. Travelling to family And finally you get a heartfelt sense of achievement after your Visit unusual destination return since “success breeds confidence”. Travelling thier schedule For anyone considering joining the sisterhood of solo travel, here Pursuing specific interest are a few reasons why it’s absolutely the best idea… No need of compromises: On Soul searching what type of trip you want to undertake, where you want to stay, where and what you want to eat, Females search for safe destination to travel to. Solo travel can how many days you want to spend be risky. That is why Europe is the most sought after destination at one place, etc. Be spontaneous by solo female travelers. and go off track with your new travel buddy. You’ve got nothing Europe stopping you, so be as selfish as you want. Mexico/Caribben Increased feeling of safety: With wi-fi available in most of the places, the issues related to connectivity USA/Canada and accessibility are taken care of. Your family and friends can get connected to you in a jiffy – Asia, Africa, whether it is Whatsapp or Facetime south pacific or just a phone call. And solo ladies do really look out for each other, 01020304050 giving a great sense of safety.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 27 More female-friendly Challenges of Solo Female Travel destinations: The prime factor holding women back from travelling Women travelling alone have a lot of worries. Their concerns solo is the safety issue. We come have been listed below. across and hear about several safe and welcoming neighbourhoods Dangerous situatiions - 47% these days and hence this should not be a unmanageable issue. There are several great female-friendly Medical emergencies- 23% destinations where you can feel completely safe on your own. All you need to do is thorough research! Flight delays & cancellations- 24% Growing sense of female empowerment: Ladies from all Stolen travel documents- 4% walks of life – business women or lady musicians or powerful politicians or homemakers – are Lost luggage- 2% realising that they can achieve anything they set their minds on. There is this feeling of Activities empowerment in them. Strong relationships: When you Shopping 27% are with someone else you do not feel the necessity to meet new people. But during solo travel you Adventure travel 15% are forced to make friends everywhere you go. And these are the people you share so many epic History, culture, education 17% experiences and create life-long memories with.

Beach escape 16% Take on a new challenge: You are out of your comfort zone and of course at times this can be a Cruises 13% massive challenge. And with such an incredible increase in solo female travellers, it’s clear to see that Others 12% women are taking this challenge head on. Some uncomfortable truths for solo women travellers: ✿ In some cultures, being a woman means you have to follow certain rules. It’s good to know about the cultural norms of the place you are traveling to in order to avoid problems or misunderstandings with the locals. ✿ When travelling on your own, you don’t do things that you would like to do or have done before. Hitchhiking is something I love to do when I have a travel partner, but

I am not still brave enough to do it alone. Though I have travelled several times by night buses, I avoid travelling by night buses when I am a solo traveller. ✿ Sometimes you can’t just relax, especially in countries where your physical appearance is different. Since, it may not be normal for a woman to be travelling without her husband or a travel companion, you may get many “proposals”, including marriage ones! It does get tiring to be the centre of attention, and more so when you just want to relax and blend in. ✿ Hygiene may be an issue, Extra tips for Solo Women Be street smart: Be self-reliant, especially during your period time – Travellers confident and well prepared at all Tampons may not be available in As the saying goes: ‘Forewarned times. If you get lost in an some places; rinsing your moon is forearmed’. So here are a few tips unfriendly neighbourhood, be savvy cups may also be difficult in a few to keep in mind. about whom you ask for help; seek places; and other times you may Do some research before visiting out another woman or a family, or want to take a warm shower but it a new country – understand its go into a store or restaurant to ask may so happen that in that place culture, customs and traditions. for directions or to study your map. you will find only a bucket of cold Read blogs and guidebooks written water. by other solo female travellers, and Dress modestly and appro- ✿ You are seen as more vulnerable check online forums to gain an priately: In accordance with the and this may lead to dangerous insight into the country or even norms of the area so as to ward off situations. locality in your own country. unwanted stares and potential Some people take advantage of advances. Keep a scarf handy for this and try to rip you off; and Choose your accommodation additional cover-up if the need others might scare you, in order to wisely: There are many backpacker arises. sell you safety. hostels scattered throughout the ✿ And yes, there’s always the fear – country that are not only Interact with locals: I learnt a and possibility – of rape and sexual economical, comfortable and safe, lesson that has stayed with me ever harassment, which is true to a but also help you meet other since: travel is nothing without certain extent. Extra care is to be travellers and swap experiences. If chance conversations. They have taken when you hitchhike in an you prefer staying in a hotel, book lent perspective and context to my unknown person’s car and opt to through trusted travel websites. experience of a destination. The stay with someone based on some best way to get great insider tips on recommendation. BE SELF-RELIANT, places to eat and explore is only It translates to our keeping our through the locals. guard up and being mentally CONFIDENT AND WELL ‘NO’ is your weapon: Being the prepared for certain situations if PREPARED AT ALL object of unwanted attention, even warranted. TIMES. IF YOU GET when it is not malicious in intent, ✿ Certain activities are considered can be unsettling. A stern “NO” is to be “inappropriate” in certain LOST IN UNFRIENDLY universally understood. countries. In our Indian culture- NEIGHBOURHOOD, BE Plenty of people will try to take a Drinking alcohol, dancing with men, picture with you. There’s no staying out late in the night and SAVVY ABOUT WHOM harm having your photo taken with wearing short dresses, rank high YOU ASK FOR HELP; children and families but say ‘NO’ to among them. SEEK OUT ANOTHER single men approaching you for a In fact, Indian women are judged selfie. more harshly in this paradigm. The WOMAN OR A FAMILY, very fact that a woman is travelling OR GO INTO A STORE It pays to learn the lingo: Nothing solo may brand her as being disarms a curious bystander more reckless and having ‘loose morals’, OR RESTAURANT TO than a greeting in their own which of course is incorrect. ASK FOR DIRECTIONS. language.

30 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 Keep a friend or family member Avoid travelling in empty If you’re lost, don’t allow your apprised of your travel plans: I find compartments in trains; with just body language to show it. Instead, social media the best for this so that the driver and with male co- be assertive! You can ask the locals I need not punch out 20 emails; just travelers only. for directions and, moreover, you a quick status update or tweet does Note the taxi/auto registration always have Google Maps to guide the trick! Keep your hostel or hotel number and name before hopping you. address in your wallet, your pocket in, and send it to a family member Always stay in places with plenty and even store them in your phone. or friend. Avoid venturing out alone of foot traffic and do not venture If you need help or get lost, having after dark except in well-lit tourist through deserted or dark alleys this address will get you back to a areas, and carry pepper spray and alone. Err on the side of caution. safe place. If you feel like it, wear a tasers with you. Do not travel by real or fake wedding ring, and carry public transport at odd hours. Keep the emergency numbers a picture of a real or fake husband. In India we find female cab handy: Safety is of paramount Lie unhesitatingly. If you're operating services such as the importance when you’re travelling arranging to meet a guy, choose a Priyadarshini taxi in Mumbai; solo anywhere in the world so it is public place. Better yet, bring a Women Cabs and Viira cabs in wise to keep the relevant couple of your roommates along to Bengaluru and among several more emergency numbers handy. meet him. in other cities. Theft and harassment are major apprehensions for women in any Getting around: Be cautious Be confident and vigilant: Like part of the world. If you have when using public transportation. It everywhere else, there are certain travelled alone in America, then it is is easy to get around in some places in every country that are far easier to be a solo traveller in countries as there will be several more prone to crime. Be wary of Europe. In America, theft and buses, taxis, rickshaws, metros, your surroundings and keep an eye harassment are especially scary flights and trains available. Only use on what is happening at all times. because of their connection with registered public transportation and However, people in general are very assault. In Europe, you'll rarely, if trusted cab services. When helpful and welcoming to foreign ever, hear of violence. travelling on local buses or in public tourists, especially women. So, if places, body-brushing and eve- you find yourself in an uneasy In troubled times: Some solo teasing incidents may occur. If this situation, do not be afraid to seek women travellers recommend happens do not stay silent. Voice help. keeping away completely from your discomfort and don’t shy away "party spots", especially in beach from making a scene in order to IF YOU’RE LOST, DON’T towns. Situations do arise when we shame the perpetrator. are caught unaware and placed in If you’re taking a taxi, turn on ALLOW YOUR BODY dangerous predicaments with no your GPS to keep track of the route LANGUAGE TO SHOW one around to help us out. and if you notice any changes, point Confronted with harassment in such it out to the driver and tell him to IT. INSTEAD, BE a situation, Shobika found her take the route preferred by you. ASSERTIVE! YOU CAN camera handy. ASK THE LOCALS FOR On a visit to Varkala, a beach town in Kerala, she was DIRECTIONS AND, propositioned by a belligerent MOREOVER, YOU fisherman, who wanted to know ALWAYS HAVE GOOGLE how much she’d charge! “I turned back, quickly lifted my camera in his MAPS TO GUIDE YOU. direction, and shouted: ‘You're sick! ALWAYS STAY IN I'm taking your photo to the police!’ PLACES WITH PLENTY and that was the end of the story!” OF FOOT TRAFFIC. Trust your gut: This is perhaps the most important tip when going solo in India. If the situation doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. People also tend to trust women more, bringing them into the fold of families and larger groups. Loretta, an avid traveller from Sweden, recounts an experience from her first trip to India, as a wide-eyed 25- Statistics-women business and leisure) travel a lot. In year-old. “On a train from Delhi to addition to all this, women Jaipur, I happened to meet with a solo traveller adventure travel is gaining family of four – three generations of momentum. There are the blood- women, with babies and toddlers. By age - Survey. sweat-and-tears types of getaways We formed an immediate and, most significantly, women sisterhood through gestures and want to do them alone. smiles. In general, the world is a safe By the end of it, I was wearing place and being a solo traveler their bangles, helping bounce the teaches you the two most babies, and being fed more than I invaluable lessons of trusting others could eat.” Continues she, “Often, and trusting your intuition. As on road trips through the women we have to watch out for Himalayas, where it’s hard to certain things, but the rewards of predict how long a journey on the being a solo female traveller winding roads will take, my hosts at outweigh all these factors. They are the destination have called me to just part of the road. check on my progress, and even Some of tips might appear to be asked to speak to the driver so he overwhelming. But these knows that someone is keeping tab. Under 25 45-54 precautions are mentioned to What’s influencing their travel 25-34 55-64 protect you from any untoward decisions? Social media! All use incident which might happen and social channels across their 35-44 65+ nothing more. Have a good time, experience, from navigating and have plenty of conversations; regional attractions and hidden they’ll make your trip extra special. gems (49 per cent) and keeping ties Gender split - Survey. Most people are welcoming, chatty, with family and friends (60 per and happy to share their life stories. cent). More than half (56 per cent), By using common sense, making “attribute social channels to good decisions and, above all else, instilling a level of safety and having confidence in yourself and boosting confidence.” your ability to travel on your own, you'll be rewarded with rich What women travellers want: experiences — and great stories to Women travellers are seeking rare tell your friends. experiences and 61 per cent feel the Travelling safely is no rocket necessity for better accessibility to science. Do what you do at home to remote destinations. The stay safe – follow a few important tremendous increase in the number safety tips, and choose places that of smart phones, better Internet are great for solo female travellers. facilities and the increased usage of Big-time travel blogger Alice a plethora of travel apps has Female Prefer not to say Teacake firmly believes that women created a new era in travel. Today, of today are pushing their travellers are able to use their Male Prefer to self-identify boundaries and overcoming their mobile devices to access travel- fears by taking to solo travel! related information; find alternate Gender split – Facebook. routes for their journey, and Solo travel demographics enhance their experience while on 63% Your Fans 2017 readers of Solo traveller the move. survey had over 1,000 responses. As Three of the widely used areas of 36% Your Fans you can see below, the results show wI-fi usage include navigation, slightly different demographic research of travel destinations, and by the day and the length of the trip information than the Solo Travel connection to social media. It was has also increased from five to Society Facebook page with its revealed that 47 per cent of women seven days. 28 per cent women 227,000+ fans. Combining this with travellers demand wi-fi hubs, as travellers demand women-only data given from Google Analytics, it women turn to Internet and apps transport and more female tourist can be said that the majority fall more than they would to people for guides. In the travel game, we hear into either the Millennial or Boomer holiday advice. The number of words like staycation, glamping, categories and there are more women trips continue to increase and the latest, bleisure (a combo of women than men. We

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 33 LTHOUGH I HAVE VERY ATTRACTIVE FACIAL Beauty Queries Afeatures, I DO not like the shape of my lips, for it is too thin. It makes me look like stern school teacher! I know that this is a & hereditary feature….my mother and two sisters A have this issue too, but while they are not Q bothered by it, I am keen to do something to rectify this. Can I resort to plastic surgery? I am a 15-year-old girl. FRIEND SUGGESTED TO USE COLLAGEN TO DEAL WITH THE To go under a cosmetic surgeon’s knife at your age is Awrinkles on my forehead. What is this and where do not a good idea, as you are still in the growing age. It is I get it from? I am a 40-year-old woman in only around the age of 20 or thereabouts that your face will Aurangabad. settle into a final adult format. Collagen is present abundantly in the body as the main You can use cosmetics to cleverly create the illusion of structural protein in various connective tissues. It makes up fuller lips. Outline the contours of broader lips with a lip from 25 to 35 per cent of the whole protein content in colour pencil outside the edges of your lips; use lip gloss on mammals. It helps muscles, joints, skin and tendons. It is the lips and extend the gloss to reach the outer edges you used pretty extensively to help skin regain its elasticty. have penciled in. As we age, collagen is lost steadily from the skin and Dab lips with tissue to remove extra gloss. Now use this causes skin to wrinkle, thin, and sag. Collagen lipstick over the natural and extended lip lines carefully, supplements in the form of powder help to increase its seamlessly and smoothly. Now, your lips will look naturally presence in the body, and there are creams to use topically broader. too to improve sagging in skin and smooth out wrinkles. Fillers are usually used by cosmetic surgeons to plump Nowadays, the use of collagen supplements has up thin lips. Botox is the most common filler used. The decreased considerably as its effects are not very effect is not permanent and you will have to opt for consistent. In fact, many take recourse to botox instead, another session as your lips begin to shrink again. Anyway, although this causes stiffness and partial paralysis of the you are advised not to go in for such procedures now. muscles. Avoid dark colours of lipstick as these make lips look ● thinner. Use pale shades, light pinks, ruby or rose, for AM 30 YEARS OLD AND AM SURPRISED BY A PATCH OF pimples example. ● Iwhich has sprouted on my face.I have always had a smooth, acne-free complexion all my life, even during LEASE TELL ME HOW TO REMOVE THE HAIR FROM INSIDE MY my teens. How has this happened? And, how do I deal with Pnostrils. I have a thick growth which does not look this? Please advise. good, although I tweeze the hairs which I can reach. I You are having adult acne which affects women, and am a 20-year-old woman living in Madurai.Can I use a sometimes men, due to several reasons. Stress, excessive depilatory? smoking or sudden change of climate could cause an Do not tweeze hairs from your nostrils as this could lead outburst. Could one of these conditions be the culprit in to infection, boils and eruptions, as the inner nostril skin is your case? fragile and moist. To trim large hairs, use a pair of scissors, Some cosmetics could have caused allergic reactions taking care not to nick yourself. on your skin. If you have started to use a new beauty Never use a depilatory as it can harm the skin and also product, this could be the cause. you may inhale it and cause health issues. A diet which is rich in fats, non-vegetarian items, greasy Nostril hairs can be removed very efficiently with a ingredients could cause an increase of oiliness in the skin trimmer, which has either a rotary or oscillatory blade. It is layers, to trigger an attack of pimples too. for you to decide which kind you are more comfortable Recently, research has revealed that poly cystic ovary with. syndrome( PCOS) and certain hormonal imbalances affect You have to guide the trimmer carefully into your nostril skin adversely, usually due to excessive tetestorone or and switch it on. Then bring it out and blow into a tissue to some other androgens in the body, to cause acne. get rid of the cut hairs . For a start, avoid cosmetics, especially foundations, and Follow the instructions on the trimmer pack carefully. It keep your face clean and scrubbed. Use only a light is advisable to learn to use it first from a beautician, after moisturiser containing SPF 30 to keep offharm from UV which you can do it at home very easily. rays. Avoid fat and oil-based soaps; use a glycerine soap instead. Readers are invited to send their beauty problems and If your condition does not improve visibly within a questions regarding face, complexion, hair, skin, eyes, etc to this column. fortnight, do consult a dermatologist to access your Address your letters, written legibly or typed on white paper, to: problem. You may need hormonal therapy to get relief WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055. from your problem.

34 Woman’s Era ● April 2020

From Homemaker To Stylish Draper

Dolly Jain, reflection of ancient traditional India in a contemporary vocabulary. By Our Correspondent

rom being one’s inherited Holding a world record of carrying a Ftradition to gracing the ramps Saree in eighteen and a half-second, of invention, the magical is different from the professional 6-yard fabric has been deeply drapers. I am not a beautician; I am rooted in our culture since its very only a drape artist, who knows beginning. Learning the art of about draping Saree, dupattas, and draping a women’s prized ties. My focus is only on styling possession, and successfully these outfits and making it look draping Bollywood’s most beautiful and comfortable, and renowned celebrities, Dolly Jain doing justice to the person who is talks about her transition from a wearing it. simple homemaker to the industry’s biggest celebrity dresser. Who is the most memorable celebrity or politician you have At what point did you realise that worked with? you want to become a professional The memorable celebrity that I Saree draper? worked with was Sridevi. She I never thought to be a Saree carried her Saree and nailed every stylist but was married to a family look in it. Nowadays, it is Deepika where Saree was the only dress. Padukone as carries herself so Initially, it was not my thing as it gracefully. A most memorable take a lot of time in draping them. politician for me would be Smriti When my in laws refused me to Irani. I adore her so much. wear kurta and other outfits, Saree was mandatory. Once I went to a What is your advice to women for party wearing the same Saree in an styling themselves perfectly? alternate way which I wore a week The priority of today's women is before and people felt that it was a their comfort in any style. One new one. They appreciated my should not replicate someone else draping style. That was the point as every single person has a where my interest developed. Saree different body language, gestures. can be worn in different styles and They carry unique personalities in can make you look elegant. their own drapes. One should feel Eventually I thought to take it as a confident and comfortable in their profession; this is how the idea outfits. generated. Is it hard for you, living in What, in your opinion, does set Calcutta, to be on the road at all the you apart from other professional times since Bollywood and your drapers and beauticians? prime clientele is Mumbai- based? The journey from being a homemaker When I started my career fifteen Living in Calcutta has never been to becoming the world record-breaking years ago, not many people were difficult for me. Anyone who needs saree draper. involved in Saree draping. 325 me can reach me and flies me down. draping styles is itself a benchmark. As you have already mentioned prime clientele, they are prime and they can always fly to me. I have always been working in different cities from Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore, and Hyderabad. Therefore, I am quite centrally located to fly anywhere.

If not on Saree draping business, what do you reckon you would be doing as a profession? I would have been a farmer, a gardener because I love nature. I love to be with nature. I don’t think I would have been anything else. But I feel I was born to spread this beautiful art of Indian Draping globally. If not this, I don’t know what I would have done. I would Saree has been India’s very own garment that has reflected a woman’s beauty. have been a good homemaker rather.

Which celebrity would you want to work with in the future and why? Though I have worked with most of them, I haven’t done a drape on Rekha Ji so far and would love to do India has a treasure of different saree a drape on her. Considering that she varities and style. has been similarly carrying After styling a Saree in 365 Kanjivaram for quite some years, I different ways and getting your would love to experiment with her. name in the prestigious Limca Book of records, what is the next record Of all the brides that you have you are aiming for? dressed, who has been as near I’m coming up with my own perfection as possible? coffee table booklet entitled, ‘365 All the brides that I have draped Styles of Draping a Saree’. You’ll so far have been perfect brides to find a new way of carrying outfits me. So I don’t have any particular for each day. You wouldn’t have to name to put forward. crib about not having a new one. You can pick Sarees from your Which celebrity wedding has mother, your grandmother, aunt or been the unforgettable for you? from your wardrobe, and style it in a I think the most memorable way that makes it appear like a new celebrity wedding was that of Isha dress. It has a whole new concept Ambani and Deepika Padukone. for this magical 6-yard fabric.

Is there any particular draping With the onset of western ‘hack’ that you would like to give all influence, how do you think we can Here are the top picks of the women out there? preserve the Saree-wearing culture most traditional style. As for draping hacks, I think 3-4 in India? glamour and an opportunity to be Saree pins are more than enough to Sarees have done a big innovative. Even young girls have hold it in place. I would appreciate if comeback. It was a few years back started styling them with skirts, women would start using lesser when people were wearing more lehengas and much more. There is pins to keep their dresses intact. westernised clothes with the no need for preservation of a Saree Moreover, try to go for a pearl or a newfound liberty from their in-laws. culture. It was there, it still is, and shirt button so that you could avoid But now it’s more about comfort will always be there. My efforts are your Saree getting inside the loop with glamour. Saree is perfect attire to spread it as far as possible, not of the safety pin. that gives you all three; comfort, just in India, but across the globe. We

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 37

OutlookIt’s

Not looks that matters. By I.M. Soni

aving an aura personality H has to do with your attitude towards others, yourself, and life in general, as it does with your looks. But the former is more important. Appeal is attraction or halo, it is the essence of your feminity, which is a combination of many factors. Some less unattractive women attract men. You think that they are naturally charming. Fact, however, is that a women does not have to be Venus. In some cases, a woman’s appeal may have nothing to do with how she looks but it has everything to do with her outlook on life, and men in particular. The big ad-world myth is that only a model or an actress is sexy. A housewife is out of bounds to be sexy or seductive. The myth needs to be consigned to the dustbin. A housewife does not need certificates from a panel of fashion faddists to be alluring. If her husband finds her sexy, she can boo the faddist. You are more likely to be alluring by being friendly and warm. By being friendly, you lessen the fear of rejection by man. Often a shy man responds to you if you are warm and smiling. Men relate friendliness to attraction. There are ways. Eye contact is a non-verbal way of telling him you love to communicate with him. Eckhard H. Hess says that when you look at a person you like, your pupils dilate. Hess found men are attracted to women with large pupils. Fillerina 12HA In one experiment, he showed a group of men two Zee Laboratories Limited has pictures of the same woman. The only difference in the marked its entry into the picture was the size of the woman’s pupils. The men prescription Dermo-Cosmetic thought the woman with large pupils was more segment in India in collaboration attractive than the woman with small ones. with Labo Cosprophar Suisse, Self-disclosure is one way of showing you feel for with exclusive marketing rights him. It also encourages the other to be more open with for two of its patented high-end you and it helps in the development of a good skin care lines - Fillerina and relationship. Crescina. This marks Zee’s entry into the aesthetic dermatology LAW OF ATTRACTION segment in India, which in India Men like women who like them. If you accept them, is by far the fastest growing they will be attracted to you. therapy segment. Driven by People who have ended a love affair, or who have growing public health been rejected, react strongly to acceptance. They are expenditure and increasing love-prone, even to the smallest acceptance of the household income dermatology opposite sex more than love. If you like someone let has outperformed the traditionally larger segments of him know it. Let him know your feelings as it prevents Diabetics and Cardiology in recent years. misunderstandings. A study made of a college in Fillerina 12HA is based on a high-end anti-aging filler California says that boys were attracted to girls who technology, and proud itself for being the first in the appeared happy. Do you ever see the gloomy, world to introduce a non-invasive alternative to aesthetic grimfaced attracting the opposite sex? facial filler injections, and has had a successful run in over If you don’t have a sense of humour, you will have a 30 Nations of the European, American, Middle Eastern hard time. Besides missing a great deal of what is and Far East Markets before foraying in to the Indian enjoyable in life, you are apt to make the man you go Markets with Zee Labs. out with feel uncomfortable. A joke is a joke, not always Fillerina 12HA, is the worlds’ first and Indian’s only a serious thing. Dorothy Parker was pushed and jostled dermo-cosmetic filler. It incorporates a deep action by a rude man who remarked, “I cannot bear fools.” innovative formulation to fill in wrinkles, expression lines, Dorothy retaliated: “Obviously, your mother could!” reshape cheekbones and give volume to the lips. It comes Wellness promotes you in all walks of life. Women as a 14-day kit containing a filler gel and a Nourishing Film who take care of their body look sexier than those who with a patented truncated tip applicator. The filler gel let themselves turn to flab. If you look better you feel it features a mix of 12 different hyaluronic acid molecules too. Men look twice at you. A study found that men are with varying molecular weights that are especially more interested in seeing women in revealing clothes. effective at penetrating the skin layers at different levels By carefully selecting clothes that accentuate your thus allowing tissues to be filled and plumped up. While features, you pep up your aura. this mix of hyaluronic acids provide the filler effect, the People like those who have relaxed body positions. gel also features 3 collagen molecules and 2 elastin Stiff body positions tend to turn them off. “She is stiff- molecules with different molecular weight that necked,” runs you down. penetrates the dermis thus providing a densifying effect. Individuals with high self-esteem fall in love more “The largest molecules give good plumping of the skin often than those with low self-esteem. They are also in the outer layer, and the smaller ones go deeper” said less likely to experience unrequited love. If you don’t Manuel Falsarella, the International Manager of like yourself, how can you expect others to like you? marketing for Labo Suisse. A study published in the 2014 Women who do interesting things are more Journal of Cosmetic showed that Fillerina measurably attractive and interesting than those who do not. Some reduced wrinkle depth and skin sagging, and increased lip jobs are attractive. Nurses, air hostesses and secretaries and cheek volume. With a March 2020 launch of Fillerina have an aura. If you had the chance to go on a date with 12HA followed by Crescina Enhanced in April 2020, Zee either an office-goer or known cricketer whom do you Laboratories, in over a year, expects to capture a choose? You would select the latter because he has an significant place in the Luxury-Aesthetic Anti-Aging Skin aura. If there is an element of daring in what you do? It Care and Hair Care Market, which is currently cluttered may pay. Many Bollywood actresses has gained this with injectable only filler products that has huge side way. So, if you do exciting, active things, you are effects for Anti-Aging and minoxidil formulations in the ‘exciting’ and have a halo. We Hair Care segment. We

40 Woman’s Era ● April 2020

save hers family too else gather proofs first n Personal Problems tell her husband/ son about all this. If nothing works, wait for right the time surely some way & will come out and everything will be fine one A day. Q AM A 25-YEAR-OLD FEMALE. I GOT MARRIED IN I2018. Everything was fine until I got Y BOYFRIEND USED TO WORK IN THE SAME OFFICE AS MINE. pregnant with twins. My in-Law's behavior MWe have been together for the last three years. In was suddenly changed; they were concerned that it could that office, he was tagged as a ‘playboy’. I always be two baby girls. I spent most of my time in parental supported him and cleared all the misunderstandings with home during pregnancy, as my in-laws were not taking him. Now it has been six months since I have changed my care of me properly. My husband is the only child of his office and I caught him sleeping with his ex. He proved parents and earned a handsome salary of 35k. I was that he is a loose character. I do not trust him anymore pregnant with twins normal delivery was not possible. but whenever I try to leave him, somehow he convinces Doctor asked for c-section delivery, which was expensive. me to stay. Please suggest some way to get rid of him My In-laws refused for C-section delivery. They said because I cannot live with him without trust. whether three of us die or survive. You are a mature individual and you should be capable I got my babies delivered with my parents one son and of knowing your own boundaries, once someone cheats one daughter. After 2 months I went back to In-laws. My you move forward without a single thought, that’s the In-laws were treating my son well but they just didn’t care golden rule of a relationship. Remember once a cheater is about my daughter. They started ill-treating me and always a cheater. Take it as a eye opener and move on girl. provoking my husband against me. ● They want my husband to get rid of me and remarry AM 19 YEARS OLD STUDENT STUDYING BSC PHYSICS, MY FATHER another girl. I want to focus on my studies and do a job. I Iis having an extramarital affair with a lady of 40, the want to become independent so that I can provide lady is also married and also have son of my age and the everything and a bright future for my kids. A few days boy was school classmate, now he is studying in the same ago my husband hit me so hard and compelled me to college in humanitarian course ... during school days there leave the house. My in-laws want me to divorce him and was nothing between them, it all started 1year ago as the arrange a second marriage for him. But I still love my lady got transferred to my father office, they are husband and want to stay with him. He is not answering exchanging expensive gifts, he comes home very late and my calls and messages. I do not know what to do. Please does not give us time, he just avoid us, earlier he used to help me. love me and my mom very much but now thing have he is You should wait for a month without taking any only doing his duty today us like paying household bills, etc decisions and then contact your husband and calmly talk but there is no love, l used to be his most precious darling and ask what he is actually upto and what problem does daughter, if was sick he used to stay awake all night and he have. If things are still not clear, file FIR and do take care of me and now if was sick he tells, l am just everything you need to for your children and yourself. wasting his as he has to pay for my medicine, my mother is ● a housewife, my father used to take very good care of us, AM 20 YEARS OLD AND LOVE MY FAMILY FRIEND’S SON. WE so she didn't feel the need to work, though she is had Iwere together from class 1-7 but then he shifted to masters degree in political science, my mother love my another city for higher education. Now I am preparing father very much inspite of knowing all these. l am very for medical and he is IIT Delhi. I told him that I have a depressed, l can't take so much neglect by my father ....l crush on him. He demanded some time to think. don't want to live ...l want to end my life.... because of all Meanwhile, he wished me a Birthday. The next day when these my and my mother's life has become a living hell. I asked him about his response, he told me that he could ...l am not able to concentrate on my studies. not get into all this, as he has to focus on his studies. I If you will end your life, how will your mother survive respected his decision then after 2 days he blocked me without u as she is already living without the love of her from WhatsApp and asked me to text him that I love him husband? You are her strength and the reason for her but he rejected by saying, he doesn’t and then he blocked survival. Concentrate on your studies. Don't compromise me again. After a while, he said that I am a nice girl and he your career. Help your mom to get a job as being does not want to get into this. After 3.5 years, he will financially stable will make her confident and strong think about me. Should I wait or not? enough to deal the situation. He wants you to wait for 3.5 years and it is uncertain, Try to talk to your dad n make him understand that he however, you have 5.5 years for bright future in medical means the world to you and your mom. You can also do science. Love yourself and focus on your career. He is an one thing. Talk to that lady n try to make her understand intelligent person who wants to focus on his studies. Also, about your n your mother's condition. Give her a chance to try to divert your mind.

42 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 I! I AM 35 YRS OLD MARRIED WOMAN WITH A DAUGHTER.MY publically. He doesn't like it if I do the talk about it openly. Hhusband is very busy and doesn't love me. I have But whenever I ask about the breakup, all of sudden, he is fallen in love with 35 yrs old another man with a so caring. I can't share anything with him because of time son. He proposed to me during teenage but due to some issues, communication gaps, and long-distance circumstances, I rejected him then. Now I have fallen in relationship. Sometimes, he is so loving and the very next love with him and I came to know that he still loves me. moment he doesn't care at all. I'm so confused about what He is also married. to do. Shall I continue with him? You need to have a serious conversation with your Well, it just doesn’t involve your life, but your child’s life boyfriend. You can conclude to the decision only after that. too. Think about that. Also, the person, you have fallen in Clear things out and know what exactly is going in his love with is also married, he might even have a kid. Your mind. one wrong decision can ruin many lives so it would be ● better if you talk to your husband about the time issue. EHAVEALOVEMARRIAGEBUTMYHUSBANDISA And let go of that married man. Mumma's boy. He doesn't earn much. My mother ● W in law treats me like a servant. She makes me HAVE CHEATED MY BOYFRIEND ONCE THOUGH THERE WAS NO wash her footwear. She always points out mistakes in Iphysical cheat. He forgave me with some conditions. I everything. I had gone through two miscarriages within the failed to comply with a few out of many conditions. But last one and a half years. My face got paralyzed two times. he is so broken at this moment. He doesn’t trust me at all. My in-laws are threatening me about my husband's He still loves me. Can you please guide me on how can I remarriage as I have been unable to conceive for the last assure him to trust me again? Please exclude from four months. I don't have a father or bother. My mother's suggestions to make promises as I broke to comply with health is also not good. I have lost all my self-confidence. I some conditions which I promised. I love him. And ready to am in a deep depression. Please help me out. do things for him. Please help me to find the answer. First of all, you need to have a talk with your husband All you need to do is give time to your boyfriend. Give regarding this whole scenario. Try to know his side of the him some time and space and then apologize to him and story too. Then, you need to figure out that what’s the have a deep conversation. Try to know what he wants and matter with your mother in law. Try to make her be loyal to him. understand your issues. Being a woman, she might ● understand your situation. AM 32 YEARS OLD. MYHUSBANDIS37. WEGOTMARRIEDIN ● I2017. It was an arranged marriage. My husband and IFRIENDS! I'M AN ENGINEERING GRADUATE. NOW I'MA family wants to have a baby but I’m not ready for it. I am Hhousewife having a two-year-old daughter. I've a working lady and it is the peak of my career. I don't know spent three and a half successful years of my what to do. Please, give me some suggestions. married life. I'm Hindu, my husband is Christian. After two You need to have a real conversation with your husband years of deep love, we get married. At that time, we talked about this. You will be the one to be responsible for the a lot about the future. We were so understanding. But now child. Off course your husband and family will support you the issue is we don't speak about our religious views. Our but it will be totally your call. Tell them what you wish to do. marriage was performed in a Hindu temple and then in a ● Christian church for the satisfaction of our parents. After ’M A FEMALE OF 27 YEARS. I GOT DIVORCED IN JUNE BUT I CAN’T my daughter was born, the confusion happened between Iforget my husband. He blocked me on WhatsApp before our parents which religion name will be selected for our the divorce. But now he had unblocked me and keeps a daughter. But I and my husband were very clear and we track of my WhatsApp status. I want to talk to him but I am selected a common name it was like a Muslim name. All clueless how to initiate a talk. After divorce, we don’t owe went fine. But in the past month, I realise some changes in anything to each other, then why he unblocked me. I don’t my husband's behavior. He removed all Hindu god photos understand how to crack a conversation without giving him from our living room. And he scolded me a lot for putting any wrong hints. Please suggest. kumkum on my daughter's forehead while I do pooja. He Well, you need to move on in your life. You should gets angry while I'm watching Hindu god songs on TV. rather focus on moving on and also let him move on. If still Now I feel very depressed. And feel like I was in some you would like to talk to him, don’t get personal and just stranger's house. I feel very bad and don't know how to drop him a casual text like hi. recover from this. ● Sometimes, people have different point of views which EY! I NEED YOUR SUGGESTION. I HAVE BEEN IN A is quite normal. In your case too, since you two belong to Hrelationship since 2017. He used to chat a lot earlier. different religions, both of you have strong views. But he changed completely after 5-6 months. He However, if you talk to your husband and ask him about neither calls me nor shares anything. We had never talked what changed his behavior, you will find your answers. about his past. Now our families are planning our wedding Just have a conversation with him and express your within a year. He is still not ready to accept our relationship emotions.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 43 Dish Recipes

Collection of popular side dishes. By Roma Ghosh

Virgin blood Mary with roasted makhanas oli is signified with colour. HWe have used natural colours of vegetables and fruits to bring you a colourful spread for Holi.

VIRGIN BLOOD MARY WITH ROASTED MAKHANAS INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of tomato juice 3 tbsps of lemon juice 2-3 drops of Worcestershire sauce 3 pinches pepper powder 1 /2 tsp Tabasco or chillie sauce For serving: Handful of roasted makhanas Pretzels – optional

Blend all the ingredients and serve chilled. Top with roasted makhanas and pretzels and serve as a new drink for Holi. Variation: You can tempering with burnt curry leaves and mustard or even a small portion of gun powder burnt in one tsp of oil.

Variation : You could also add quarter cup of Mandarin orange juice to the tomato juice to give it a slightly different flavor. You can then garnish with oranges. BEETROOT Beetroot puris PURIS INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of atta Salt 1 /2 tsp of ajwain seeds Oil for deep frying the puris 3 tbsps of oil 1 /2 – one cup of boiled and grated beetroots METHOD Sift together the atta, salt, ajwain. Mix in the beetroot – as much is required to blend into a pliable dough. Try not adding any water. Mix in the oil at the last stage and knead well. Divide into small portions. Roll into puris and METHOD medium heat, stirring from time to deep fry in oil one at a time till Wash the spinach, sarso, bathua time. Cook for three to four puffed. Serve with alu ki sabji, or and amla and adding one cup of minutes and put off the heat. radish leaves sabji and aachar. water in a pressure cooker cook Place in a serving dish. these green leaves till tender. Cool Heat the oil and fry the boiled completely and then grind to a eggs till it turns into light golden BOILED EGGS IN paste. Heat the oil and add the brown. Cut into halves and place green leafy paste. Mix in the over the cooked leafy jamboree. PALAK AND Serve with paranthans. SARSO SAAG chillies, spices and cook over INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of spinach cut into pieces 1 cup of sarso saag cut into pieces Boiled eggs in 1 palak and sarso /2 cup of bathua saag cut into pieces – if available other you can saag skip this 1 /2 an amla – cut into small pieces to give the sour taste 2 tbsps of ginger garlic paste Salt 2 green chillies 1 tsp of haldi powder 1 tsp of coriander powder 2 tbsps of roasted jeera powder 4-5 boiled eggs 3 tbsps oil for frying the boiled eggs 2 tbsps oil to cook the veggies smooth mixture. Now slowly add cake using all the mixture. But if MANDARIN this wet mixture into the dry you want small cakes/muffins, ORANGE UP- ingredients, mixing slowly so that then place one slice each in the no lumps form. Line a cake loaf tin bottom of each muffin mould SIDE-DOWN or a muffin mould. Place one slice Bake in a pre heated oven at CAKE of the mandarin orange at the 180oC for 25-30 minutes or until a bottom of the oiled tin and pour tooth pick or skewer inserted in INGREDIENTS: the mixture into the oiled the centre comes out clean. If you Cut 1 mandarin orange into circles, cake/muffin mould tin. You can are using smaller moulds then the 250 gms of maida place more slices in the bottom of baking time will be less. Put off the 1 and a quarter tsp of baking the tin if you want to bake a big heat and allow to cool in the oven. powder Pinch of salt 1 tsp of orange zest cut into tiny Mandarin orange up-side-down cake pieces 180 gms of sugar 160 ml of oil METHOD You first peel the oranges and then make slices or you can slice with the peel on, With the peel it gives the cake a marmalade taste. Sift together the maida, baking powder, salt and keep the dry ingredients aside. Powder the sugar in a mixer. Add the orange zest and blend with the powdered sugar and then add the eggs and oil and blend well. Continue to blend in the mixer till you obtain a

Broccoli and cauliflower salad BROCCOLI AND CAULIFLOWER SALAD INGREDIENTS: 1 medium sized head of broccoli 1 medium sized cauliflower head Salt 1 tsp of ajwain seeds 1 /2 tsp of haldi powder 3 tbsps of olive oil METHOD Baby spinach leaves, grapes and beetroot for accompaniments To prepare the centre of the salad : grate the cauliflower and

46 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 broccoli separately. In two different pans divide the oil and pan fry separately the grated Vegetable idlis cauliflower and grated broccoli, adding salt, ajwain and haldi powder in both the pans separately and continue to fry on low heat for about three to four minutes (as you would do to make stuffed paranthans with gobi) Cool to room temperature. To assemble the salad. Place the cauliflower grated in the centre, then a circle of grated and cooked broccoli and serve with fresh baby spinach leaves, grapes and boiled beetroot circles Arrange the veggies as you like fish in the bottom of each idli mould. Salt You can use a combination of any 1 tsp of haldi powder VEGETABLE of the above veggies or any other 1 tsp of lemon juice seasonal veggies like broccoli or Mustard oil for frying the fish IDLIS crushed peas. First oil the idli INGREDIENTS: moulds then place portion of the For the paste: 3 cups of idli batter veggies on the moulds and pour 1 cup coriander leaves Salt some of the idli batter on each of 2 green chillies Oil to spread on the idli moulds these. Steam in a idli maker till the 2 pods garlic 1 idlis are set. Allow to remain in the /2 inch ginger For the veggies: 1 idli maker for two minutes and /2 an amla cut into small pieces – 1/ cup of grated carrots – grated 2 then unmould and serve with the middle portion – seed removed and water squeezed out veggies side on top. A wholesome 1/ cup finely chopped spring For the gravy: 2 and colourful breakfast. onion – green portion only 1 tsp of curry powder 100 gms of button mushrooms salt 3 tsps of oil METHOD METHOD FISH WITH Grind all the ingredients to a You need to cook only the FRESH GARLIC, wet paste. Sprinkle salt, haldi mushrooms by sauting the powder and lemon juice on the mushroom pieces in oil so that all AMLA AND fish pieces and keep aside for 10 the moisture in the mushrooms is CORIANDER minutes. Deep fry or shallow fry in absorbed. mustard oil till both sides of the INGREDIENTS: fish are crispy and brown. Fry all Six to eight pieces of rahu or katla the fish and remove most of the oil, keeping a few tsps of oil in the Fish with fresh garlic, amla and pan. Lower the heat and add the coriander wet paste. Fry for two minutes and add one cup of water and bring to a boil. Add the fish pieces and continue to cook over low heat till the gravy is soaked in and the preparation is dry. Serve with paranthans. A colourful dish which adds colour to the season. KIWI AND OREGANO FLAVOURED SHORBET INGREDIENTS: 3 medium sized kiwis – peeled and cut into small pieces

Kiwi and oregano flavoured shorbet

1 tsp coarsely ground pepper- or less as per taste Grapes and cut mangoes for garnishing 2 tbsps of honey MANGO METHOD 1 tsp of oregano powder Put the dahi in a sieve overnight METHOD PEPPERY and leave it covered. Allow all the Blend all the ingredients SHRIKHAND water to drain out till you obtain a together in a mixer and freeze in thick portion of hung curd. Place ice cream or kulfi moulds. Looks SERVED WITH this in a mixing bowl. Mix in the and tastes delicious when the GRAPES honey, mango pulp and some weather around Holi is neither too 200 ml of thick curd pepper powder – as per taste. Chill cold nor hot. Unmould and serve 1 and a half tbsps of honey and serve garnished with grapes as a shorbet. 4 tbsps of sweet mango pulp and cut mango pieces.

Mango peppery shrikhand served with grapes

48 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 RADISH LEAVES CHOPS (BAKED) INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of green radish leaves cut very finely into small pieces 1 medium sized onion chopped 1 /2 piece of ginger – finely chopped 2 pods of garlic – finely chopped 2 green chillies Salt 1 tsp of haldi powder For the chops: 1 cup of mashed potatoes Radish leaves chops (baked ) 1 cup of fresh bread crumbs 1 tsps of lemon juice fingers and divide into portions. 2 tsps of ginger garlic paste Oil for brushing while baking or oil Shape each portion into a round 2 cups of orange juice for deep frying chop. Brush oil and bake in an For the marinade METHOD oven or an air fryer. If you wish 1 cup of curd Heat the oil and fry the onions you can deep fry the chops. Serve 1 tsp of mustard seeds tempered till translucent. Add the remaining with salad and mustard sauce or in oil with a few curry leaves ingredients and cook covered with chutney. 1 tsp of almonds a lid on medium heat. Cook till the 10-12 segments of orange – pith chopped leaves are dwindled and and seeds removed. the spices have been absorbed. Salt Now you can use the above ORANGE sabji to serve with puris FLAVOURED METHOD Mix all the ingredients for the To make the baked chops: Place CHICKEN marinade. Then Marinate the the prepared sabji in a mixing bowl INGREDIENTS: chicken pieces with this marinade with the potatoes, lemon juice and 5-6 chicken legs or breast pieces and leave aside for three hours or bread crumbs. Mix well with your 1 cup oil so. Heat a pan and add the chicken pieces with the marinade and the orange juice and cook the chicken pieces in the pan, covering with a lid and cooking on low fire till all the marinade and the orange juice have been absorbed. Now add the oil a little at a time and continue to fry and cook on medium heat till the preparation is dry. The orange segments give the chicken preparation the little gravy. No onions need to be used. But if you want to do - you can use two tbsps of Orange flavoured chicken browned onions while cooking the chicken in its marinade.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 49 Banana and chocolate cake

mixture into the dry ingredients, Salt CHOCOLATE mixing slowly so that no lumps 1 cup oil AND BANANA form. Line a cake loaf tin and pour 1 tsp of ajwain seeds the mixture into the oiled loaf tin. Chopped coriander LOAF Now slice the banana into two 1 tsp of annar dana powder INGREDIENTS: halves horizontally and place side For the salsa: 250 gms of maida by side on top of the mixture. 1 medium sized mango – which is 1 and a quarter tsp of baking Bake in a pre heated oven at half ripped but not raw – should powder 180 degree C for 25-30 minutes or be yellow in colour Pinch of salt until a tooth pick or skewer Pinch of salt 1 tsp of coco powder inserted in the centre comes out Green chillies as per taste 180 gms of sugar clean. Put off the heat and allow METHOD 160 ml of oil to cool in the oven. Prick each of the potatoes 3 eggs without peeling. Sprinkle salt and 1 large yellow banana keep aside for 10 minutes. Heat METHOD JACKET POTATO the oil and fry the potatoes on Sift together the maida, baking very low heat, covering with a lid. powder, salt, coco powder and WITH MANGO Add ajwain and the annar dana keep the dry ingredients aside. AND CHILLIE powder and continue to cook on Powder the sugar in a mixer and very low flame so that the add the eggs and oil and blend SALSA potatoes are tender. Stir from well. Continue to blend in the INGREDIENTS: time to time adding the chopped mixer till you obtain a smooth 8-10 medium or small sized coriander. Serve hot with mango mixture. Now slowly add this wet potatoes with the peel salsa.

50 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 Jacket potatoes with mango and chillie salsa

Takeamangowhichis just riped but not fully riped. It should have a sweet and sour flavor. Peel and cut into small pieces. Run in the mixer to blend into a pulp. Add a pinch of salt and serve laced with chopped green Atta and khhoya ladoos with chillies. stewed apples

Variation: You can add a bit of chopped onions or chopped mixture the darker your ladoos will coriander as well if you like to the be. But do not over brown. When mango pulp. a fine aroma rises and the ghee For the stewed apple: and khoya have mixed well into 1redapple the atta, put off the heat. While ATTA AND 3tbspsofsugar still warm, shape into round METHOD ladoos. Store. Stays good for KHOYA LADOOS Dry roast the atta on very low atleast five to six days. Serve with WITH STEWED fire till it turns to a golden brown. stewed apples. Add the elaichi powder. Start For the stewed apple: APPLES slowly mixing in the ghee a little at Boil 100 ml of water and add the INGREDIENTS: a time and continue to stir and sugar. Stir to melt. Cut the apple 2 cups of wheat flour mix. Crumble the khoya and start into circles, core and boil in the 1 and a half cups of khoya mixing it slowly to the browned sugar syrup for three to four 1 cup sugar or more as per taste atta. Continue to add the ghee and minutes till slightly tender. Drain 1 tsp elaichi powder the khoya a little at a time. The from the sugar syrup and serve 3cupsofghee more you work hard on the with the ladoos.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 51 STEAMED Steamed amla pickle AMLA/INDIAN GOOSEBERRY PICKLE INGREDIENTS: 7-8 pieces of amla 2 cups of mustard oil Salt 1 tsp turmeric powder 6tspsoflemonjuice 6clovesofgarlic For the spice powder Quarter tsp of fenugreek seeds 2 tsps of mustard seeds 3 pinches of asafetida vitamin C and stays good in the 1 /2 tspofkalajeera fridge for a week. 1 tsp of whole coriander 1 tsp of fennel METHOD GRILLED Dry roast very lightly all the spices and ground into a dry spice POMFRET FISH powder. WITH COCONUT Make deep insertions into each time for three to four minutes. amla, leaving each one whole. Amla will begin to turn a light AND GREENS Steam the amla in a steamer till colour, add the spices and INGREDIENTS: tender but not over cooked. continue to cook over low heat, 2 medium sized white pomfret Remove from the steamer and dry coveringwithalid.Cookfora fish completely. further three to four minutes. Add Mustard oil for grilling the fish Heat the oil and add the the garlic and stir fry for one For the marinade: steamed, dried amla without any minute. Mix in the lemon juice and 1 cup coriander leaves moisture into the oil and cook over putofftheheat.Mixwelland 1 cup freshly grated coconut low heat, turning from time to store. This aachar is abundant in 2 tbsps of chopped fresh green Grilled pomfret fish with garlic coconut and greens 1 tsp of green chillie paste Salt 3 tbsps of lemon juice METHOD Wet grind all the ingredients for themarinade.Usethistolavishly spread over the fish. Keep aside for 20 minutes and then grill the fish on a grill or a non stick tava, gently turning once so that both sides of the fish are nicely cooked. Add the remaining marinade as you cook the fish, a little at a time. You make garnish with fried onions and serve as a starter. We Many students opt to take a gap year or a Teenache drop year, to prepare intensively for an entrance exam. So, if you feel confident that this will help you achieve your seat in a good & engineering college, you could do the same. A There are some risks, however, for your being Q on your own, could make you slack in your studies, and you will miss studying with classmates and competing with them. You INE IS A SMALL PROBLEM BUT ITS SOLUTION IS VERY should have great discipline to study on your own and also Mimportant for me. I am a 15-year-old girl who has take extra tuitions. a very shy nature. I remain tongue-tied in Your parents secret worry that this gap year may not company and am unable to make friends. I envy those help you much, is definitely a possibility. Be prepared for peoplewhomakesucheasyandcasualconversation,and this and plan for other options if you are again not able to banter and joke with such competence. I am very meet the criteria. intelligent and know many interesting topics of Have a discussion with your parents and teachers about conversation……but the words get stuck in my throat. the pros and cons of taking a gap year, before you opt for Iamnotarealintrovert;Ilovecompany.ButIalways it. Either way, it all depends on your attitude, perseverance hover on the fringe of groups without joining in. Is there and discipline. any hope for me? ● You belong to a club which has millions on its roster! HAVEASIMPLE, TRUSTING NATURE, WHICH OFTEN GETS ME INTO Take heart though for you can easily become a efficient Itrouble! I am a 16-year-old girl in class nine. I am very conversationalist by following a few simple rules good in my studies. Most shy, tongue-tied persons usually are very self I have a friend who often discusses projects which we conscious, and keen to make a good impression on others. have to do, with me. I sincerely share many of my plans This causes them stress. They feel they make fools of andideaswithher…butthen,moreoftenthannot,Ifind themselves by speaking to others, by voicing their opinions that she has stolen these for her own project and and thoughts. presenteditasherownoriginalwork. So, stop thinking of yourself and focus on the other Ontwooccasions,tomydismay,myteacherhaschided person. Be candid and genuine in your talk; don’t try to me for copying her work!! I never felt so humiliated in my impress. Forget about what others may think about you. life…and she took all the teacher’s adulation without once Relax. This will surely loosen your tongue slowly and mentioning that this was my idea. When I accost her on her steadily. dishonesty, she refuses to admit that the work is not hers. You seem to have no dearth of topics to converse in… What can I do? but try to break ice by asking questions of the other person. The solution is staring you in the face, surely? Simply Make the other person feel important and listen with don’t share your plans and ideas with her. If she insists on interest . A person who gains the reputation of being a discussing some project with her, do it superficially, good conversationalist is almost always a very good without letting her know how you intend to plan it. Even if listener. The bible for making friends is Dale Carnegie’s she asks you a hundred questions, keep your ideas secret immortal book: How to Win Friends and Influence People. and give her evasive replies. Buyacopyandreadit.Itwilldoyouaworldofgood. It is a good thing to help others but it should not be at ● the cost of your own interests. This girl is not a person of FTER MY 12th EXAMS,ITRIED THE COMPETITIVE EXAMS FOR integrity, and is clever at manipulating you for her own Aengineering, but did not scored enough marks to ends. Be aware of this, and be cautious with your dealings get a seat in any good institution. I want to try again with her. The world is not a very good place; be realistic next year and for this, I want to take a gap year to prepare and practical, and not too idealistic myself better for the entrance exams next year. If you wish, if such a situation arises again, you can meet My parents are worried. They do not want me to waste a your teacher privately and tell her about your classmate’s year to follow a dream and are cajoling me to join a perfidy. commerce course in college and then, try again for the entrance exams next year. In short, they feel sitting at home for a year without joining any course is not This column is especially for teenagers. Adolescence can, we know, be a advisable…I know that they fear that I may not fare any trying and confusing time. There are so many questions which seem to better next year and my one year will be a waste. evade solutions. A wrong decision, or an indiscreet move, can spell I am confused and unhappy. I am very keen to get into disaster and ruin a life. Share your problem, worry or doubt with us and engineering and want to do intensive studying for a whole WE will help you find a way out — to a happier, healthier and more year without getting involved in a course I do not want. successful adult life. Send your problems to: WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055, Womansera.com Please advise.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 53 DifferentSwimsuit Kinds of

Life is better under water. By Aditi Gupta STYLISH SWIMMING COSTUMES FOR LADIES icture yourself on a beach, or being surrounded by pristine waters, Por lying by the poolside. Sun is on your face, the breeze making your hair wave, music soothing ears and peace in your soul. The flaunting season is here, so girls flaunt at your best. We are talking about summer season, the perfect season to chill out at the beach destination or to enjoy a pool party. If you have plans of enjoying your summer weekends at beach, then girls it is time to start hunting for a perfect beach wear. A flirty, girly and sensual swimsuit are all you need to perfectly enjoy the beach party. That is why we are here to give fashion guide on how to pick the perfect swimsuit according to your shape and where to buy the trendiest style of swimsuit. Check out our best and tantalizing swimsuit of the year.

Regular essential The first thing that comes to your mind when you think of swimming is the regular swimming suit. It is the ordinary suit that is wore by most of the people. This swimming costume is for anyone looking for a relatively concealed active swimwear, especially if you’re a beginner. It is padded and extremely comfortable. The water drains out pretty fast and dries faster. It was my first swimsuit ever and is probably my favorite too. Full body suit Are you one of those who prefer to wear a fully covered swim suit? Then here it is! A line extension to the ‘essential’ variant. Also, not everyone is excited about the idea of getting a tan. This is particularly for those skeptical about the chlorine content in the pool water. What you see here should be perfect for you. A detachable, two-piece swimwear that is both comfortable and snug. We could all use some padding support, and stay at peace while swimming.

Four piece striped suit Four things in one! A steal for Tuna sport high waist bikini sure because it’s just two full suits An encompassing and chic-looking in one. As a beginner, you could bikini suit with a twist. The crop top sporttheentireset,thebikini, design goes all the way to the active tank and the shorts for your wear, and we couldn’t have been swimming sessions. And, try happier. A high waist bottom that meets wearing the bikini on a beach the top half way above the bellybutton holiday, perhaps. The striped and the black and white detailing quietly motif is a smart way to sport a makes a style statement. bikini for newbies, unlike the plain ones. The fabric is smooth on the skin and dries easily too. All the Sea blue swimwear TLC you need for this one is to Bleed blue all the way. What better wash it in cold water. color for your swimwear than this azure suit, right? It is designed to give you coverage, but won’t let you compromise with style. The flouncy tank that trails down, covering your hip and the snug shorts that are form fitting will have you blend into serenity the minute you deep dive.

Printed crisscross tank with shorts Take a step forward and try this stylish printed suit. This modish design is ideal for anyone with inhibitions about trying new active swimwear because of reasons, best known to them. The subtle cuts to the bodice, padded support to the chest and shorts that camouflage till just above the knee makes this a perfect choice for you. And, wait till you hear this. For those wanting to hide their tummy, this is your best bet.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 55 Halterneck mesh design Good times come with tan lines. But they are worth it, especially when you get to wear something as stylish as this one. The halter neckline that moves back into a form-fitting silhouette is a stunner and is sure to make you one. This, I tell you is for keeps!

Sheer panel stretchable Asymmetrical suit swimsuit with side cutout Wearing this is nothing but Asymmetric is the fad right now, showing off your exploding and we all love the design. Don’t confidence. Flaunt your figure and we? And the one hand sleeve your sense of style with this one. design takes this up a notch higher! The sheer tulle panel that comes When you go with your girl gang, with comfortable arm and leg this is what will probably set you openings is elastic, so you have apart. Imagine this with your one less thing to worry about. It’s reflectors, a fedora, and a body just as stylish from the back as it is accessory. You’re about to rock the from the front. Go get it! world! The one piece monokini Monokini? Yes, you heard it right. I just love the novelty of some of the fashion designers, and always in awe of their prodigal designs. Let me explain—monokini is usually a one piece suit that has gotten a facelift. It lookslikeaonepiecefromthefront andaonepiecefromtheback.Isn’tit cool? Plus the fish scale bottom, halter neck, and the tie-able bow as you move back.Icannotwaittogetintooneof these (someday)!

Blush pink one piece suit This redefining beauty will define your classic style like no other. In poised pink and a macrame neck design,thisswimsuitispurelyan urbane choice. The material is soft and smooth, just the way I like it. Open back swimsuit with V-Halter neck You want to look stylish, but have apprehensions like—“I want an elegant bikini, but I have a broad frame.” “I would love to have a classy swimwear but, I’m not comfortable showing off my butt- cheeks.” Here’s a design you should consider. If you are looking for something to camouflage your tummy, floral print is your go-to wear. They look busy and takes the focus away from the waistline, they conceal the hip area too. A blessing in disguise, I must say!

Striped two piece tankini If tankini is another word you just One piece with halter neck and heard, here’s what it means. The top plunging V design piece of the suit looks and feels like a Sensuous and classy are the words tank top, mostly a pattern that you thatoccurtomymind.Imagine would see in two-piece suits. The someone sporting this! An effacing padded protection that lifts and and enthralling piece that fits in the supports the bustline, and moves right places and flows in a proper down into a striped transparent fabric way. Also, the in-built shorts is a flattering choice. The boyfriend completes this suit. Swap the colors, shorts that come with it are taut and and it will look just as good. But, this comfortable, so you don’t have to probably will remain my most liked worry about malfunctioning. combination.

A two piece tankini Bynowwegetthedrill.Halterneckisa swimsuit staple, whose neckline makes everything else fall into place. This is why it’s your safe bet. The lycra material suit with a bust defining design and the gold embellishment bumps it up, and beauty is in the details. The luscious material is smooth on the skin, easy to maintain and wash.

Double strap string bikini set Black, blue and striped. A triad that is not easily beatable, not in the context of beach wear at least. A total, knock-out in every sense. The blue band moves back into a strapped bra and does the heavy lifting; the black band converts into a halter neck. Now, you know what I mean? Oh and the matching underpants. It does not cease to amaze me. Be Amazed! Bikini with a Cover-up A bikini set and a matching cover-up? I mean why not? First off, the flouncy skirt and the stunning top piece is slaying it, and the cover-up only makes it better. You’re officially vacation- ready!

Striped tankini We can never get enough of tank tops, can we? Except this tank is a blessing in disguise. The soft padding for breast support and an underwire defines this classic piece. It trails down to perfectly sit above the belly button with an elastic holding it all together, a matching underpants is something you cannot say ‘No’ to. Chic and suave, that’s right! REMEMBER THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY OF SPORTING A SWIMMING COSTUME FEELING COMFORTABLE IN IT. A FULLY COVERED BODY SUIT OR A BIKINI WILL OTHERWISE BE NO DIFFERENT. AS THEY SAY, YOU’RE ONE SWIM AWAY FROM A GOOD MOOD! ON THAT NOTE, KEEP CALM AND CONTINUE TO SWIM.

Monochrome waved high neck design Never tried a monochrome look before as you thought the color is boring? Wait till you see what I have found for you. Take a proper look at this and tell me if you haven’t changed your mind yet. This high neck Emerald blue halter monochrome suit will have heads neck bikini turning at your next beach vacation. It The color, the design, and the is body-hugging, comfortable and tussles scream fervor and fun. All supporting all at once. And, irresistible of it directly implies a beach of course! vacation and deserves one too. If Foundanythingofyourtaste? you cannot wait to flaunt your Remember there is only one right way hourglass figure, you must waste of sporting a swimming costume – no time in adding this to your feeling comfortable in it. A fully bikini wear collection. After all, coveredbodysuitorabikiniwill everyone deserves treats like otherwise be no different. As they say, these, especially if you have you’reoneswimawayfromagood worked hard to get that bikini mood! On that note, keep calm and body. continue to swim. We The Clean Meat Future

“An ideal world.” By Maneka Sanjay Gandhi

long time ago I realised what speciestoeat–likeinsects.Aworld remained a charming curiosity and it AMcDonald’s and KFC had of pain and hunger, at the brink of was eaten by vegetarians who understood quite a while destruction. wanted to explore the world of back; that, for an average person, About 20 years ago Linda meat. Even though companies, like the gratification of his tastebuds – if McCartney tried to change the Impossible Foods and Beyond Meat, only for ten minutes- was more world by inventing and promoting have used biology to identify the important than saving the world, simulatedmeatbymakingplants molecules that give meats their being compassionate, stopping taste like it. It had no effect. It flavours and textures (eg. protein global warming or even looking myoglobin, which gives meat its afterhisownhealth.SoImentally colour) and reproduced them gave up on trying to make everyone exactly using non animals, this vegetarian – even though I becomes just another dish on the point out the health hazards, table. week after week. So nothing has excited me Thank God I saved my more in the last five years than mind from despair. theknowledgethatrealmeatis Instead of diminishing, being made by scientists and FAO has estimated that entrepreneurs without using the worldwide demand animals. for meat will rise and The first disruption of the rise–anincreaseof76 world,asweknewit,camewith per cent by 2050. 76 per the computer, the email, all the cent more animals artificial intelligence taking up 76 per cent gadgets. I cannot even more space, more remember the world without water, more grain, more the cell phone. This changing dredging of an already of the world was due to just a overfished ocean, finding more handful of dreamers who went

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 59 on to become billionaires – though that was never their intention. The second disruption will come with the replacing of animals for meat with Clean Meat. Meat made from the multiplication of meat cells in meat serum. And, wonderfully enough, the giants of the First Disruption have invested their billions into creating this Second Disruption. Microsoft, Virgin, Google, Facebook… are some of the companies. And even more importantly, millions are being poured in by the largest Meat selling companies in the world, Tyson Foods and Cargill – who see Hanni Rützler tastes the world's first cultured hamburger, 5 August 2013. this as an inevitable future and want to get in at the beginning. IMAGINE BLUE SKIES cost a million dollars. As did the Imagine a world without light bulb. Why do I say that the violence. A study done in America, AND FRESH BREEZES future is upon us? Because the US on which were the most violent and AND NO WATER Food and Drug Administration has unsafe areas in the county, showed decided to make rules and that these were the kilometres SHORTAGE AND standards for companies growing around slaughterhouses. In India a PLENTY OF FORESTS TO meat in labs, not farm factories. No survey done last month showed BRING THE RAINS ON hooves, fins, feathers. No anuses that the least liveable city in India is andeyestothrowaway.Justedible Rampur, the city of slaughterhouses TIME. IMAGINE A meat. In Maryland, in July 2018, the and knives. WORLD THAT WAS NOT FDA and Department of Agriculture Imagine a world without HEATING UP AT THIS convened the first public hearing to slaughterhouses, with no animals discuss the regulation of food grown forcibly and killed viciously. PACE BRINGING grown. Hundreds of people Imagine a world where animals DROUGHT AND FLOODS attended .The World Bank has are out of animal husbandry and yet convened a meeting of Clean Meat there is meat for all. The answer is AND TSUNAMIS WITH entrepreneurs to explain their cultured meat. No waste, no IT. visionatameetingofinternational disposal of offal, no sickening economists at the headquarters of smells and terrifying screams, no EVOLUTION OF the World Bank. When we used overloaded trucks carrying dying CLEAN MEAT horses for transport, we didn’t love animals, no calves being separated In 2013, the first meatless burger the horse. We simply wanted to get from their crying mothers, no mafia was made (paid for by from one place to of butchers. Google cofounder another quickly. And if Imagine a world where you could SergeyBrin).In2018 we had to put up with eat all the meat you wanted without hundreds of start up feeding it and cleaning getting sick from all the diseases companies have been up the excrement and that the dead body carried, the able to make this housing it, we resigned antibiotics, the hormones. cellular multiplication, ourselves to doing it. Imagine blue skies and fresh and companies like But when the car came breezes and no water shortage and Memphis meats have and manure and care plenty of forests to bring the rains been able to make was unnecessary, we on time. Imagine a world that was varieties of duck and switched quickly and not heating up at this pace bringing chicken that are the real horses are now kept for drought and floods and tsunamis thing. Now the only Google billionaire Sergey religious tourism. Brin says he's not with it. How far away is this problemisofeconomics comfortable with the Likewise, no one loves dreamlike future? It is upon us: I will and scale. But that will way cattle are treated in the slaughterhouse, the seeitinmytime.Itiscalledthe also happen. After all, the current meat bloodied rivers, the Clean Meat future. the first laptop probably production process. greenhouses gases, the

60 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 huge environmental damage. But BlueNalu has started cellular and then put into a bioreactor. they want the mutton, beef, pork, aquaculture and, once it comes on Nutrient culture serum will have to chicken, milk and eggs. the market, you can have fish be collected. But they will be a small While everything has changed, without formalin , human faeces fraction of what they are now. including the way in which we andchemicaldyesthatmakeitlook It is time the Indian government irrigate and grow plants, meat fresh. Modern Meadows is working got into this. If the process is production today is the same as it on creating real leather without patented then it will not be was 20,000 years ago. How animal skin. economically viable. So we need to inefficient is the energy ratio: 11 The tissue culture journey has have open source research that kilos of grain has to be fed to get been complicated. Finding the makes the science available to all. one kilo of meat. 60 ,000 litres of correct cells that multiply and are Big marketers in India, like Future water is needed for one flexible. Creating appropriate Foods, have already shown huge cow/buffalo. Thousands of people bioreactors, which mimic the interest, and many American starve because there is no cheap animal’s temperature, so that meat companies are in India looking for grain. growing can become a village partners. Every 7th kilo of meat in Europe industry. But top scientists and cell But we need to have those is created from Indian grain. Look at biologists have left their well paying Nehruvian “temples of science” our own levels of malnutrition and jobs and have applied their underICAR(IndianCouncilof water shortage. There can be no expertise. Agricultural Research), CCMB humanity,nogoodgovernance, Many people involved are (Centre for Cellular and Molecular while we continue to eat and export Indians. Memphis Meats is founded Biology) get off their hammocks, meat. It is the largest way in which andheadedbyDrUmaValeti,a where they have been sleeping for we affect the lives of our people. heart surgeon. The milk-without- many years, and actually do Cultured meat will change all that, cows of Perfect Day. Foods are both research that will change the face of freeing up grain and making it Indians, Ryan Pandya and Perumal the Indian economy. cheaper, making water available, Gandhi. I am going to be writing more making land available for the Animals will not disappear. Cells on this. Watch this space. And poorest. One company called will have to be collected from them imbibe my excitement!! We Lovely Dream

I look out from my window, A beautiful bright morning, Lovely breeze, Birds chirping The sun is rising... Dadi, Dadi walks in my grandson Ihavemadeteaforyou. Ihearalongring... Holding nanny's hand, smiling Alarm, my wake-up call, Atraywithacupoftea Iopenmyeyesslowly Thank you, my dear, Was I dreaming? Lovingly picking up the cup What a lovely dream, I start sipping... I look out of the window, Dark, cloudy, It’s raining heavily, Slowly I get out of the bed, To kitchen I go to make.. A cup of tea. – Urmilla Ramrakhiani.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 61 Short Story The Stranger Who taught Me Love and Live Life

My eternal enigma. By Rimli Bhattacharya

Wearing the t was just another busy went for a shower. I stood the mirror for my dose of day for me, the morning under the cold water, all make-up. stilettos I left I blues, sitting on my the while feeling Oh damn it! Lipstick and my house. study desk I was making exhausted. I stepped out of kohl are getting over, I Something is the list of chores I had to the shower, reached for my need to buy them. Two finish today. Bank, grocery, cupboard, pulled out that more additions in that wrong with me electricity bills and then I polka dotted red gown of errand list of mine. I looked today. I am not have to run to my work. I mine. I don’t step out at the mirror and felt like an feeling that had taken a half day today without my trademark kohl ogre. I had dark circles good, but why is to finish all these stupid and lipstick; I sat in front of under my eye; I had not errands. slept well for the last week. it? Anyway, life Sigh! I need a break, Sluggishly I applied that hastogoon, lifting that coffee mug I I sat in front of the mirror for kohl, my maroon lipstick, my dose of make-up. Oh and I am single, applied a little mascara, damn it! Lipstick and kohl are some blush on my cheeks. getting over, I need to buy them. Two more additions in No, I won’t wear my that errand list of mine. I glasses; they are only for looked at the mirror and reading and writing. But felt like an ogre. whydoIneedtodosucha lot of make-up for these mundane chores? No, I will never improve. Wearing the stilettos I left my house. Something is wrong with me today. I am not feeling that good, but why is it? Anyway, life has to go on, and I am single, so Ineedtodoallbymyself. Plugging my earphones, tuning to some songs I stepped out of the house. It isawindyday,theskyis overcast and it might rain, no I won’t carry an umbrella today. Let it rain let me get drenched and fall sick and lie on that bed for a week. I didn’t realise I had reached the beach and have forgotten the market route. Fair enough, I will breakmyrulestoday,II won’t even go to my the waves. I laughed when I clothes, fixed two cups of business, so I was watching work and there is no need realised I haven’t laughed cappuccino and returned. “I you, happy now?” he to inform in office. I am so much for a while. He am sorry, you are wet but I replied smiling at me. done, exhausted. I sat on played with the waves; I don’t have any clothes to This time I could not the sand; made circles with was slipping when he lifted offer except my gowns, and stop laughing. He pulled his astick,madeafew me and said, “Try to live life you will look like a female,” chair closer to me, without sketches when I got a feel dangerously.” I liked the I told him laughing. “So you giving me a chance to someone is watching me. saying, so I did that. I know to laugh as well,” he speak he said, “Enjoy your Women have a powerful played with the water, I grinned. Sipping the company, you came alone, sixth sense; it’s a gift to us slipped several times, and cappuccino and pulling a you will go alone, we have and to me that sense is very the salty water passed my new cig he asked, “What do been sent by the almighty dominant. throat when I told him. “I you think the whole day?” for a purpose and we don’t am tired now, I am all know when we will be es, I was right, he was wet, my chores are “I couldn’t hold back my called by him. So live your Ywatching me. He was unattended, and I need to tears. Breaking into silent life and that too in a in his casuals and was go.” “Where do you stay?” sobs” I told him. “That’s buoyant way, love natural, you are a human puffing a cigarette. He he asked. “Not very far, just and it’s a need to love and to everyone including walked towards me and a10minuteswalk,”Isaid. be loved. Look around you, strangers, because when said, “Lonely? Can I give “Can I join you?” he asked. I there is love in everything.” you truly love, there will be youacompany?”Igavea don’tknowhowIcould He replied. no strangers. I quick look, a tall guy in his agree to a stranger by am a forties (may be, my guess), inviting him for a coffee. had a moustache, We reached my somewhat fair, unshaven cheek, looked like an home, handing athlete. ‘How did he read him a towel to my mind, am I looking dry himself, I desperate, I should have went for a been careful’ I thought. Without even waiting for shower. I my answer he sat next to changed my me and looked at my clothes, fixed sketches I had made in the two cups of sand. “Do you want to cappuccino and make sand castles?” he asked smiling. “I used to returned. I am when I was a kid, now I sorry, you are have forgotten to make wet but I don t them,” I told. “Never late, have any clothes you can start making those to offer except castles even now with me,” he replied. He is a complete my gowns, and stranger, has not even We walked together, I What a silly question! complete stranger to you introduced himself and now was peeping at my dress, I What do I think? and you must be thinking he speaks of sand castles, was wondering if I was “Umm, nothing, why I am advising you so that’s my destiny, how looking filthy, when he anything, I really don’t much? Don’t get me wrong, funny.Okay,ifthatismy again said “Oh come on, no know, why,” I replied. please, I just felt I could talk destiny to make castles one is watching you, all are “You were looking very to you; even I am alone, so I with a stranger, so be it. I busy, and just be yourself.” serious, I saw you making thought two alone can add agreed. We made sand How is this man reading my sketches and you looked and make a happy day by castles and I laughed at mind? This day is certainly confused,” he smiled. just playing and laughing. howmessyIaminmaking different. Good heavens! I “So you were watching Life is short and happiness those castles. had met someone who is me? Don’t you have any is a mysterious high, it He was excellent in reading my grey cells. other business apart from makes the young laugh and making castles when he We reached my home, watching a female?” I the old cry. Do what you said, “Get up, let’s enter the handing him a towel to dry replied suddenly getting love, if that calls for sea.” I forgot everything himself, I went for a angry. wasting a day playing in the and ran with him towards shower. I changed my “No, I don’t have any sand, then do that; if that

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 63 calls for reading a book least expecting him.” He my lips he said, “Goodnight hewasthere.Hewasnotto the whole day, then read; if replied. I was still weeping and sweet dreams, fairy, be seen, he never came. I that calls for bird watching, when he reached out to me, don’t forget to laugh, play saw him in my dreams then do that. Explore your touched my hands, lifting the foolish games you several times. hobbies. You need not be my chin and pulled me loved once, don’t be harsh Each night I write to so harsh on yourself. Live closer to him. I could smell on yourself. Your chores him, my closet is full of your life. ENJOY!” I couldn’t the musk of his perfume. can wait and also your poems which I have written hold back my tears. Gently rubbing my eyes, work. for him. The poems lie in Breaking into silent sobs I softly brushing my sleek But love! that cannot my hands with smashed told him, “I find it difficult hairline covering my wait, so fall in love each words broken, I remember at times, I struggle to find forehead he whispered day, don’t get lazy in love. hislines,“Youneednot my existence, I feel hollow “Stop weeping. Look, you The more you love the wait for your Prince and completely lost, I need areinmyarms,Iamloving more you get. Lay the Charming, maybe someday love and to be loved.” you, so why do you cry?” foundation of love and that he will come knocking at “That’s natural, you are is what you call love.” your doors when you are a human and it’s a need to didn’t know how long I Icouldn’tspeak.I least expecting him.” love and to be loved. Look Iwasinhisarms,Iwas watched him walk away. I So that’s me waiting for around you, there is love in lost, I clutched his Tee, I didn’t ask his name, neither him with my closet full of everything. The path you wished him stay tonight did he. Gradually he faded poems which I have written walked gave you love, when he gently said, “Now I in the dark night; I could no for him and I know I need those flowers you watch need to go, it’s very late, it’s longer see his shadow. no Prince Charming. What I gave you love, those waves almost midnight, you need I entered my room, I know is only to love him. I you played with gave you rest, go to sleep after I could feel him everywhere. still visit the shore with a love,ifyouspeakofhuman leave and eat something, I sat down at my study desk hope that I will see him, I love, you will get that too. you haven’t eaten anything and wrote a poem for him. I still wait in my balcony Wait for your time, each sincewemet.” didn’t know where he is, looking at that road where lovehasit’stime,youneed I watched him tie his who he is, but what I have is he walked away, yes I know not wait for your Prince shoe laces, when he held thelessonhetaughtme I want him even more. Charming, maybe some me close to him for one last about love and life. That stranger who day he will come knocking time, he lowered his face Iwentbackseveral taught me how to love and atyourdoorswhenyouare and planting a soft kiss on times on the shore to see if live life. We

satisfaction. The fault in neighbors, you may want the water pipelines was to consider apologizing. the cause. All his Only do this if you can bitterness was gone give a sincere, heartfelt forever. apology. End of bitterness problem. He went back not If you want to have a – Gurjas Chahal, Delhi. An old neighbour before saying, “The reason better relationship with whomIhadneverseenin could also be your parents- your neighbors, try the twenty years of my in-law stealing water from to be friends with married life, due to his others’ tanks.” them.Itisokayif house being always on Irememberedhaving you develop a rent to tenants, came to heard of such vague stories friendship with the door once and told about my respected in- your neighbors, Do you have any sweet/sour me that before renting his laws when I was newly butdon'ttryto experiences with you house to the new tenants, married. But over the force it. Some immediate neighbour? he wanted to check the years, through gandhigiri, I neighbors like their We will be glad to publish them. reason for no water had made my husband and space and privacy Please sent them to: supply by overseeing the mould them into better from everyone NEIGHBOURS ALL water tanks placed on our persons. around them and terrace. The next day the irate that is okay. E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi- I guessed the reason old man came again. My If you have 110055. Womansera.com could be tank-cleaning husband kindly done things that exercise taken up by the accompanied him to the contributedtoa Name: residents a day before or terrace and showed him bad relationship in Mobile: the persistent monkey- the place around to this the past with your E-mail:

64 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 Delays are Now dangerous. Never! ByOr Rameshinder Sandhu ust few weeks before New Year, poet and saint – Kabir once rightly when this goes on, it may give birth Jfinally there was a reply from said from his experiences, “Jo kal to circumstances that may not one of the inflight magazine’s karsoaaj,joaajkarsoaab”(what stand with us. How can I ever forget editor. I knew it will be a positive you want to do tomorrow, do it that day at Zurich Airport, when I response, considering my travel today and what you want to do had to fly to India after the essay set in their popular today, do it now). As we try completion of my degree? After all, I destination, besides being topical dragging almost everything for the had postponed all my formalities for for the chosen month. timetocome,wefailtovaluethe the last day and this got me so late But as I hurriedly opened, it was ongoing time. The time in our to the airport that I reached the unfortunately a note of rejection. hands, the circumstances that airline check in desk at the eleventh The reason was genuine: “Though support it is like an opportunity and hour,withtonsofstressplantedin we had plans to carry your piece on most opportunities knock just once, me. However, as the check in New Year celebrations in Sydney which is why we often meet people official suggested me to balance the but we decided to drop it as there who keep denouncing for the excess weight by adding it in the have been reports that the event opportunities they missed. By the handbag, I mistakenly placed my won’t be held this year in the light way, who knows about the future passport in the bag I had to give for of the recent fires in New South andthekindofsituationsitwill check in. Ironically, I learnt about it Wales which caused a lot of damage bring along? when it was already sent to the besides just pollution.” plane but thankfully it was brought The moment I finished reading, I to the boarding gate for me. The went thanking my Canberra based NEVER PUT OFF airline officials raced me towards it friend Preetinder Sandhu who did TILL TOMORROW andoncehavinggrabbedit,Iwas not let me postpone my trip to This reminds me of an uncle of taken back to the immigration desk Australia to this December. Hence I mine. Whenever he listens to any of for departure stamp and I was in Sydney last December, my travel experiences, he never eventually entered the plane-red where we admired being part of forgets to echo the same view of faced. I realised, if I had not that magical fireworks night on his: “I will also see the world, once I postponed my tasks to the last day, December 31 to welcome 2019. Had retire” but I respond as always, I would have not encountered all I postponed to this December as I asking him why not now, adding, this hassle. wanted to, I would have missed the “Will your health favour you then as That’swhyalate14thcentury world famous New Year it favours now for travel?” I know adage in my oxford dictionary of celebrations of Sydney. Ironically, I he is one of many those who forget proverbs has this one, clearly on the was delaying the trip despite I was to enjoy the ongoing journey of life lines of Kabir: “Never put off till able to materialise the trip last and most importantly valuing the tomorrow, what you can do today.” December itself. Minutes later, I fruitful concept of ‘now or never’! And considering my Zurich Airport thought it was not just me but most Sometimes, it is also our experience, I can’t agree more with of us, who have an eccentric habit lackadaisical attitude that makes us this late 16th century adage that of pushing most of our plans for the throw certain tasks to the future: reads, “Delays are dangerous”. future, forgetting what the famous “not this week but next week” and How true! We

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 65 Understanding the Mis-understanding

Towards a healthy relationship. By Preetha Rengaswamy nderstanding' is the ability of MIS-UNDERSTANDINGS Many a times, mis-understanding Uapersontosympathiseand leads to a better understanding too. empathise with others, CAUSE GREAT MENTAL Whenever a conflict occurs, people comprehend and deal with the STRESS AND AGONY, involved in the conflict, for the fear situation skillfully. Good of bitter words spoken, avoid understanding results in a strong CREATING DRASTIC talking to each other and so the gap bonding between persons. Lack of HEALTH ISSUES, WHICH between them grows and hatred understanding results in wrong COULDHAVEBEEN accumulates with the passage of interpretation of words, ending up time, bringing the friendly in mis-understanding and break of EASILY AVOIDED BY relationship to a stand-still. relationship. COMMUNICATING Mis-understandings cause great VERBALLY AND mental stress and agony, creating drastic health issues, which could OPENLY. have been easily avoided by communicating verbally and openly, without pilling up imaginative grudges against each other. If the misunderstanding is resolved at the earliest, the relationship is sure to grow stronger, healthier and happier as mis-understanding is a 'platform' for better understanding. Raghu and Neeraj were thick friends since early school days. During college, due to the intervention of a third person, a conflict occurred and both abused each other with filthy words without analysing the truth ,which resulted in their separation. Years rolled on and after about 30 years they happened to criss-cross each other on the roadside of the city, both had moved on to. Struck with anxiety, both hug each other with guilt of having missed this lovely relationshipanddaysoffun.They spoke for hours on how immature, kiddish and foolish they had behaved, without solving the issue by a verbal talk. Having resolved their mis-understanding, better late than never, an inseparable bond got created between them. Its high time we realise that life is short and enjoy it peacefully, to the fullest! We

How to Choose A Home Insurance Policy

A guideline for safety. By Subhash Dhall

nIndia,mosthomeownersdo even aware of home insurance. unwanted, unforeseen causes that Inot bother to insure their Even though India witnesses natural can damage it, such as fire, smoke homes, even though it is often calamities each year, home damage, floods, earthquakes, the biggest asset that one can own, insurance remains a low priority. lightning strikes, storms of all kinds, attributes the low demand for Even the people who are aware explosions, riots or civil commotion, home insurance, to ignorance, that a home can be insured, are not burglary, break-ins, vandalism, etc. saying that Indians are not even doing so, as they consider it a waste People generally believe that aware of the risk associated with of money. They feel that any threat home insurance is expensive and their lifetime investment. totheirhouseisrareandmay the process of settlement of claims, Currently, unlike a car insurance, happen once in 10 years. In many is complicated. The scenario has home insurance is not mandatory. places, people may have not now changed, with the entry of However, banks are making it experienced any threat to their many insurers and the regulatory mandatory for a borrower to obtain home in their lifetime. authority keeping a strict vigil on home insurance, while opting for a This ignorance can expose them the operations of these companies. home loan. In home insurance, the to high risk, which can be avoided The premium payable towards cover is provided for the structure by paying a small annual premium. insuring a home is around Rs 50 for and contents. There needs to be A home insurance is a safety net coverage of one lakh rupees and more awareness about such that provides cover, in case of when the policy is taken for a long products, as a lot of people are not damage. It protects the house from term, then, the insurance premium can even come down to `25 per Whatdoesahome Not all types of damages are ` one lakh coverage. insurance cover? covered by all home insurance While a home insurance policy In home insurance, the coverage policies. Different types of home provides risk cover only for the is generally limited to the insurance policies provide cover for constructed property, what if you construction cost and contents of different types of damage. Hence, it have bought an under-construction the apartment. “For the structure, is essential to do one’s homework, property? In this case, experts the insurance cover is based on the before selecting a home insurance suggest that it is the duty of the area of the apartment and the Check the list of risks and natural builder, to get a project insurance approximate construction cost. calamities that are included in the policy, to cover the threat to an Thus, one should avoid taking policy. Read the policy carefully and under-construction property from excessive insurance, as one will not understand the terms and natural disasters. So, before you get the claim for more than the conditions. Make note of the buy an under-construction property construction cost of the company. exclusions. Get all doubts cleared, on a home loan, check whether the Check the claim history and track before buying the policy. Check the builder has taken a project record of the company, before financial ratings of your home insurance cover. buying the home insurance. Check insurer. An ‘A’ by CRISIL, is a good A comprehensive home the inclusions and exclusions of the indicator of strength. insurance policy product, may give policies. youthebenefitofriskcoverforthe Claiming home insurance contents, as well as the structure. BEFORE BUYING AN Ensure that you have all However, before buying an INSURANCE POLICY, information, like policy number, insurance policy, the applicant THE APPLICANT name, address and ID proof ready, if should check out the list of required. “When filing a claim, inclusions and exclusions, to figure SHOULD CHECK OUT mention the type (theft/fire/water out what risk hazards the insurance THE LIST OF damage, etc.) and the description of product covers. loss or damage to the personal Besides the basic protection, an INCLUSIONS AND belongings and home. Call the insurance policy can also offer add- EXCLUSIONS, TO concerned authorities, in case of on covers, such as the cost of living FIGURE OUT WHAT RISK fire or pipeline burst. If possible, in a rented accommodation while take photos of the damaged area your house is being repaired. If the HAZARDS THE and also keep the receipts from house is rented out, the owner can INSURANCE PRODUCT services used or purchases made, take cover against the loss of rent, if because of the damage/loss. The a natural calamity renders it unfit COVERS. insurance company will deploy a for occupation. However, these surveyor and have the damaged covers are for a limited period of up goods inspected thoroughly. The to a few months after the disaster. claim is settled, after the losses are A landlord insurance covers the assessed,” Chandani elaborates. financial risk to a property, caused It is advisable to do an online due to earthquake, flood, fire, search and compare different damages due to a tenant’s actions policies and their scope, before and so on. When the landlord incurs buying. Check everything, such financial loss due to damage to including the extent of cover, the insured property, then, the the exclusions and increase in insurer pays for the replacement annual premium. cost, to the extent of damage, after Homeowners buy adjusting the deductible as per insurance to protect against its terms and conditions. For disaster. But when disaster example, if, due to fire, the strikes, your insurer might kitchen is damaged, then, not live up to your the insurance company expectations. will pay for the cost incurred The greater the in repairing the kitchen. damage, the higher the However, before you get likelihood that there will be the claim amount, the a disagreement over the insurance company value of the damage. The mayaskyoutopay best test of an insurer is how the deductible sum. well it handles claims. Some

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 69 major insurers provided significantly silverware, or artwork, they’re payment is limited to the cost of better satisfaction when it comes to subject to coverage limits. You’ll construction. handling claims than others. Don’t need to purchase a special ✿ Always take a home insurance be afraid to make a small claim. endorsement or floater to cover policy for the long term, so that If the dispute is over the damage their full value. the premium can be minimised. amount, request a sit-down with Fire, lightning, and debris ✿ Opt for add-on covers like the contractor and adjuster to go removalleadtothehighestclaims earthquake/terrorism. over the estimate line by line, which of all insured perils. Cooking ✿ In order to hedge the inflationary is standard practice. equipment is a leading cause of impact on construction price, If you’ve been misled by an home fires, so never leave a stove always opt for the escalation insurance salesperson about policy unattended, and keep a fire method of insurance. wording, contact a lawyer who extinguisher in the kitchen. ✿ The inclusions and exclusions are specialises in insurance law. In earthquake-prone areas, treated differently by each Lawsuits were rare among our make sure your home’s building insurance provider. Therefore, subscribers, courts have frame is properly bolted to its one must carefully go through consistently ruled in favor of foundation. Get more information the policy document, before policyholders on such ambiguities. on reducing risks from earthquakes, selecting any insurance. Arbitration is another option. freezing weather, lightning, Even if your coverage level is wildfires, and more What is title insurance? correct, a standard home owners In order to protect the buyer of policy still leaves you insufficiently What to see for opting for the property – whether a flat, or protected. If you want to protect home insurance land, or even a developer who is against the surge in material and ✿ Thepolicyshouldonlybetaken buying a land – an insurance labour prices that often follow a for an adequate sum, because company promises to indemnify the natural disaster, you’ll have to buy under home insurance the claim buyer against any loss caused, due an “extended coverage rider.” to any defect in the title of the seller Additional policies for flooding COOKING EQUIPMENT in the property. Under title and earthquakes, which aren’t IS A LEADING CAUSE OF insurance, the insurance company covered by a traditional pays you for any loss in the market homeowners insurance policy. Also, HOME FIRES, SO NEVER value of the property, for expenses you may need separate policies for LEAVE A STOVE which you may incur due to the hurricanes, wind, and hail if you live defect in the title of the property in a high-risk zone. UNATTENDED, AND acquired by you. Coverage for your furniture, KEEP A FIRE The defect in the title may be electronics, clothing, and other present at the time of buying the belongings is standard, but if you EXTINGUISHER IN THE title insurance and which, neither have expensive furs, jewelry, KITCHEN. the insurer nor the insured are aware of. The RERA has mandated that all developers obtain title insurance for their projects. We examine how this will impact under- construction and completed projects and the benefits that title insurance offers, to home owners Section 16 of the Real Estate (Regulation and Development) Act, 2016 (RERA), requires all developers to buy title insurance, for the project to be undertaken afresh, as well as for projects that are incomplete as on the date of enactment of the law. This requirement will help mitigate the hardship caused to innocent flat buyers, in case any defect is detected in the title of the land on which the building was constructed. We

70 Woman’s Era ● April 2020

Is Your Personality Mentally Starched?

Ifso,ironitout.By I. M. Soni ou are wrapped up in your failure mechanism depending on Yown self and hence how “you” operate it. handicapped. Self-image is changed not by Progress halted. Any new intellect alone but by knowledge comes from experiencing. “Teaching” a outside the self – not from manorawomanhowtolove, “expert” but from an does not help but making “inpert.” him or her “experience” Pasteur was not an M.D. love does. the Wright brothers were not We learn to function aeronautical engineers but successfully by experiencing bicycle mechanics. Einstein was a success. Memories of success are mathematician not an physicist. stored information which serve as Madam Curie was not a M.D. but a astorehouseofconfidence. physicist, yet she made vital If a person has not experienced contributions to medical science. success how can he draw from it? Maxwell Maltz says that self- He is like a person who cannot get a image is the key to human job because he has no experience personality and behaviour. Change and cannot have experience the self-image and you transform because he has no job. You can the human beings. Self-image sets “create” experience in your mind the bounds of personal and benefit from it. Public speakers achievement. It decides what you have done it. Unhappy persons have can and cannot do. Expand the self- enjoyed life by “experiencing” image and you expand the area of happiness! It requires a minimum of the possible. about 21 days to bring about a There is evidence in psychology change in mental image, says psychosomatics and industrial Maxwell Maltz. psychology that there are happy- Creative imagination is not the prone personalities and unhappy elusive domain of the poet, the personalities just as there are inventor and the thinker. It belongs healthy and disease-prone to everybody because imagination personalities. It throws light on sets the goal picture which the mind positive as well as negative works on. We act not because of thinking. And why does it work with will but because of imagination. some, not others? It works when it R.A. Vandell proved that mental is in tune, not when in conflict with practice in throwing darts at a self-image. target where the person sits in front It is a goal-striving mechanism of the target, and imagines which works for you as a success throwing darts at it, improval aim as mechanism or against you as a much as throwing does. Your personality growth requires clearing the decks of the mind. and imagination are in conflict, it is Think of your childhood. You did Paralysing doubts should be buried. the imagination which wins. not know how to walk. You A new you, full of zest and Human nature is not like a stone. stumbled and fell. But failures did confidence, with no dark clouds in It throws avenues of change and not deter you from learning to walk. the mind, will find it easier to growth. It is ever on the move but Why are you afraid now? Because respond to hard life-situations. the question is: are you? in your subconscious, you have ‘Darklings’ have the notion A person is known by the been carrying items not to be rooted in their minds that life is full thoughts he nurtures. It is useless touched on. They are your failure of misery, strife and conflict, that wanting to grow into a full-bloom bank. Fear of failure shrinks the you are here to suffer blows of personality if, at the same time, the spirit and makes you let ‘destiny’. voice inside you goes on telling you, opportunities slip. That is why a There can be no fine art of “You cannot.” pessimist is one who complains growing unless you believe first in Do not look upon life as a misery when opportunity knocks at his the worthwhileness of life. Life is inflicted by higher powers because door! worthwhile and meaningful and has it is an adventure. If you exercise deep satisfactions to yield, if you do too much caution, you fail to grow. not wallow in shallowness of William James laments that ninety IT’S A MATTER OF LUCK thinking. per cent people do not realise their There is a difference between You rot if you do not cash in on real potential. It is because they ‘lucky’ people and ‘unlucky’ ones. your talents. It is in this sense that have never risked failure. Risk The former are those who have character is destiny. If you have failure if you want to succeed. failed but cashed in on the failure. In stamped yourself as I-do-not-like- other words, they have converted life then your destiny is sealed. The their failure into a success and made solution does not lie in brooding it a part of their lifestyle. The latter, and thinking that the past cannot be on the other hand, are perpetually undone. It can be. grumbling, ‘as luck’ does not favour You have to say goodbye to your them. rot thinking of the past and re- William Beran says: “This is not a mould it. This is more important matter of destiny, fate or than the past. What you do today predetermination but of constant becomes your future. Today is your training in the choice of our tomorrow! experience by means of the Idle hands are weary and selfish unconscious application of our hearts are sick and despairing. You scheme of appreciation. We do not cannot bloom into a flowering learn from our experiences: We personality unless you are involved make them to suit our style of life.” with a cause bigger and better than When I started freelancing in the your own self. George Bernard sixties, I faced constant bad luck. Shaw says, “There is nothing more Rejection slips chased me. Failure boring than living continually with was writ large on every journalistic yourself.” It means a life of effort that I undertook. But I did not stagnation, devoid of outside bigger include failure in my value system. I interests, stimulants and learntfromtheworkofothers, challenges. persisted with my efforts and ‘bad’ If you have been living in your GEORGE BERNARD changed into ‘good’ luck. own stagnant company, chances SHAW SAYS, “THERE IS Goldsmith’s words kept ringing in are that you are self-centred and my ears: “Our greatest glory is not self-wrapped. You have to set out NOTHING MORE in never falling but in rising every from your mental cocoon. You will BORING THAN LIVING time we fall.” see your pessimism lifting like the CONTINUALLY WITH Countless people aspire to see fog in the sun. And remember that YOURSELF.” IT MEANS their names in print but a couple of one wrapped in self makes a small setbacks seal their fate. They let bundle! ALIFEOFSTAGNATION, rejection stop their onward march. If you want to use your talents, DEVOID OF OUTSIDE They think they are not ‘destined’ to and develop into a full-bloom BIGGER INTERESTS, be a success. They rationalise that personality, do not forget the they do not have the ‘talent’. They power of imagination for wringing STIMULANTS AND forget that journalist writing is not far-reaching changes. When the will CHALLENGES. an art, it is a craft which anybody

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 73 can learn with necessary patience, It is necessary to have a definite gets self-confidence. The so-called practice and hard work. objective in view, which results in a unlucky have a different approach Samuel Johnson, the famous yardstick with the help of which you and attitude, which keeps them at man of letters of the 18th century, can see for yourself how far you are that place of misery and stagnation. was once approached by an aspiring enriching yourself. This is how the One who thinks that his virility is young man who wanted to be a ‘unlucky’ becomes ‘lucky’. The under normal has a thinking which writer. He asked the great man’s hostile one changes to amiable. The divides all men into two broad advice as to what was needed to uncooperative shows traces of categories – normal and become a writer. Johnson’s cooperation. One who was earlier sub–normal. reply was: A pen and a piece of haunted by a sense of inferiority It goads the unfortunate to strive paper! tobeamorethanpotentmaleall Our philosophy is the ‘bed’ into MAHATMA GANDHI PUT the time all over. He finds himself which we crowd all our experiences. IT, “KEEP ALL THE miserable. He is misery on two legs. If an experience does not fit into He will continue to act in a manner our ‘bed’ we try to lop off certain WINDOWS OPEN SO that will be a caricature of parts to make it fit into our need. THAT FRESH AIR COULD masculinity! A Don Joan is never a sex champion! COME FROM ALL People haunted by inferiority REAL GROWTH DIRECTIONS.” A tend to compensate by over-playing Real growth or development lies DEVELOPED the part. They develop a spurious in extending our scheme of things sense of superiority which stunts to various interests and activities so PERSONALITY their growth. that we could be aptly described as ENLARGES ITS Those whose growth have rich in experience. Mahatma Gandhi stopped and are stagnating in the put it, “Keep all the windows open INTEREST SO THAT THE muddy pool of wrong schemes so that fresh air could come from all MENTAL HORIZON display certain attributes. They put directions.” A developed WIDENS. on airs. Show contempt for good personality enlarges its interest so things of life, hold right people in that the mental horizon widens. An wrong positions, try to pull them undeveloped one remains cramped down from their pedestals. and stiff as if with mental starch. Some are given to loud-mouthed obscenities. They are arrogant and offensive. Haunted by their own worthlessness. They spare no effort to be at the centre of attraction. There are people who want this kind of attention as if they were sick. They seem to be saying to themselves: It is better to be sick because it brings attention. Such an attitude becomes a neurotic beaten by life. Some neurotics put up appearances. The aim is to project a false image to the world. Certain womendoitbytryingtobeas ‘masculine’ as possible. They try to tell the world that there is no ‘feminine weakness’ in them. They never develop as women. False sense of reasoning prevents them from playing real woman in life. They end up as shrunken specimens who have thrown away a precious life because of wrong and misleading notions. Unstarch your mind. We Short Story Expectation and Realisation

Expectation and realisation.By Jyoti Galada

She got busy in t was her special day. clashes between Prema expensive gift for her on her daily routine.IPrema turned 65 years and his wife. Prema was a her birthday. If he did so old today. She was widow. She lost her then their monthly budget While saying her excited since the moment husband two years back to would get disrupted. But morning prayers she woke up because she heart attack. As soon as she it’s not that he never tried. she remembered hoped that today she woke up on her birthday He started saving little her late husband.would get to see her only thefirstthingshedidwas every month every year to son and grandchildren. Her to check her mobile phone buy Prema a nice birthday Every year her son had recently shifted to for any messages. Actually gift. He would get her a sari husband would another house on rent in she had expected her son to or artificial jewellery set or sing her birthdaythe same city to avoid wishherbirthdayat12 bag or make-up. But all this midnight but shrugged her too did not fulfill Prema’s song with a Being a middle class guy with own thought thinking it to expectations and she would bunch of roses a simple accountant’s job it be too childish. There was crib about the same every and a smile on was difficult for him to buy no message in her mobile time. an expensive gift for her on phone. She felt Two hours had passed his face the her birthday. He started saving little every month disappointed. since Prema woke up. She moment she every year to buy Prema a She got busy in her daily kept checking her phone nice birthday gift. routine. While saying her often.Therewasnocallor morning prayers she message from her son. She remembered her late started feeling sad but husband. Every year her convinced herself thinking husband would sing her hewouldgiveherasurprise birthday song with a bunch visit with his family after his of roses and a smile on his office hours. She thought face the moment she woke of making kheer and up in the morning. But samosa loved by her Prema was never happy grandchildren. While with flowers. She wanted cooking she again passed himtobemoreromantic through her memory lane. and buy her some Her husband every year expensive gift. She never would bring rasogullas on saw the feelings behind the her birthday. After offering flowers and birthday song one to god and praying for from her husband. After a her wellness, he would few years of marriage force Prema to eat one big she started grumbling rasogulla in one go. If she about the same to her wasnotabletodosothen husband. he would put another one Prema’s husband in her mouth. He would was in deep love with laugh and hug her after her. He would do all that. Prema never paid that he could to make heed to the depth of his her happy. But being a love nor reciprocated in the middle class guy with a same manner. She always simple accountant’s had something or other to jobitwasdifficultfor crib about. him to buy an Prema was materialistic. She herself belonged to a middle-class family but, as an unmarried girl, dreamt of living with a rich guy with a lavish lifestyle. But this never happened. She was married to a simple junior accountant. Hissalarywasjustenough to meet the daily expenses. But this did not stop her from dreaming. She cultivated friendships with ladies living a luxurious and modern lifestyle. Going for an outing and attending kitties became a part of her lifestyle. And to be at par with them she would save She missed her husband money from monthly dearly. She went near his expenses to buy branded photo hung on the wall and clothes and accessories. cried loudly asking for Her husband was not happy Prema was forgiveness for all the the way she managed and happy life together materialistic. Sheneglect and pain she had finances. He did raise this with him by her husband. caused him. His smiling topic many times but She had not even glanced herself belonged face in the picture looked seeing Prema get at the picture when it was to a middle- as if he was forgiving her emotional and disturbed posted leave alone reading class family but,and asking her to be happy. would give up. She always the message but today she as an unmarried He would have never liked cribbed about the zoomed in on the image if Prema cried on her unbranded and simple gifts and kept staring at it girl, dreamt of birthday. brought by her husband on longing for him to come living with a rich Prema thought of her birthday since she back. guywithalavishforgiving her son. She wanted something trendy. Bynowshewassure realised that all her life she that her son would give her lifestyle. But thishad expected too much heer and samosa was a surprise visit. She thought never happened. from everyone and that’s Kready for her of making her special raw She was married what caused grief to her. grandchildren. She relaxed mango chutney along with to a simple She picked up her phone, for a while on the sofa to samosa instead of serving it gave a call to her son and check her mobile. There with tomato ketchup. She that may be her son forgot reminded him of her was an email from got down to working in the her birthday. She switched birthday. Her son whole someone wishing her on kitchen again. It was ontheTVtodiverther heartedly apologised for her birthday. Her face lit up. evening and time her son mind and pass her time but forgetting her birthday. In She curiously opened the often returned home. She her mind was unable to next one hour her son, mail to find Facebook was excited that he would concentrate on any daughter-in-law and wishing her birthday! She be there anytime. She programme. As time grandchildren arrived at her sighed and checked for changed her sari, wore the passed the thought that her house with a cake and a messages but there were piece of artificial jewellery son forgot her birthday branded dress. They all no birthday wishes. She which was the last gift of grew stronger. sang the birthday song for opened her Facebook her husband to her before Tears rolled down Prema as she cut the cake. account that showed a his departure and awaited Prema’s eyes. It was two They relished the samosa birthday posting made by her son’s arrival. Almost an hours past since her son and kheer prepared by her. her husband five years ago. hour passed but no one was must have returned home. Then all went out to It had a picture of him there. There was neither a Buthedidnotbothertocall Prema’s favourite serving rasogulla to Prema. message nor a call from her or meet her. ‘He could have restaurant for dinner. Tears rolled down her face son. Prema’s confidence saved my birthdate on his Later, Prema slept on as she read the message started breaking. She mobile,’ she thought as the bed carrying a smile on below wishing her a long heavy heartedly thought mobiles give reminders. her face. We

76 Woman’s Era ● April 2020

here are millions of online Trecipes at our fingertips but there are other millions hidden in the recipe boxes, hearts and kitchen drawers of grandmothers, aunts, cousins and Legacy from the kitchen is more parents!. Yes, these “family recipes” are a special part of our family histories. Dishes cooked by our than just recipes! grandmothers and mothers are dear By Sudha Chandrasekaran to our hearts. Sabudana khichidi made by my paternal grandmother and onion uttapam made by my mother remain etched in my memory and always bring a smile to my face when I recollect the memories interwoven with them. When lazing in the bed before getting up, I still can get the smell of my grandma’s cooking, which she used to do pretty early in the morning, when I used to visit her during my school holidays. Foods evoke vivid memories of our childhood, of our relationships with family members. This tradition of food is carried "The importance for me," adds on from one generation to another Shreya " lies not so much in the and can be traced for several preservation of the recipes decades right from the past to the themselves as in the memories of present and onto the future as well. family dinners they evoke. I am They remind us of experiences long looking to the day when my kids will forgotten and allow us to relive come to know of their great- feelings of comfort, satisfaction or grandmothers through the dishes excitement. When you think about they cooked. The recipe keepers family occasions from the past – were getting old, and it was time for holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, me to go to India to learn cooking special events, and reunions – the from them. I spent six months memories you often want to travelling to India from the US, preserve are connected to food. venturing deep into the kitchens of Some family recipes have been my aunties and my grandmothers, passed down for many generations armed with a notebook, a camera and are known as “keepers” in our and sometimes a voice recorder, learned how to make, my family. taking copious notes on how to grandmother’s sabudana kichchidi "I realised I couldn't go home make my favourite rasam, sambhar really struck a chord.” Shailaja, an IT every weekend for my mom’s and many much. Of all the dishes I professional, said, “One lucky day, yummy dishes," says Shreya, who is when crispness could be felt in the about to enter Johns Hopkins " EARLIER THIS YEAR, air, my sister and I trudged home University. She has recently started SHREYA TRIED OUT from school lugging our backpacks following her mother around the HER GRANDMOTHER’S and opened the front door to a kitchen, taking notes on how to delicious smell of crunchy and make her "masala chai”and tasty ALOO GOBI CURRY mouth watering pakoras.Tothis kachoris. "Those specific flavours RECIPE. “APPARENTLY day, every time I feel that first chill can instantly unlock a whole flood MY GRANDMOTHER intheairIgetahankeringformy of emotions, memories and feelings favourite family snack. But there’s of family, love, and comfort. And, HAS A GREAT DEAL OF more to it than the smell or the what more is they are absolutely PATIENCE THAN I DO," taste—it’s the memories. Pakoras delicious," says she. For years, SAYS SHREYA. "THE reminds me of my mom and gives Shreya resisted asking her me a sweet feeling of being grandmother and mother for their IMPORTANCE FOR connected to her, my sisters, and recipes because of "the simple fact ME,LIES NOT SO MUCH my maternal grandma—because that no dish I put together will taste IN THE PRESERVATION sheusedtomakeittoo.Says as good as my grandmother's OF THE RECIPES Shankari, “Whenever I look at the version." Earlier this year, Shreya slightly bent old cast iron pot I tried out her grandmother’s aloo THEMSELVES AS IN THE remember Aunt Mita, who taught gobi curry recipe. “Apparently my MEMORIES.” me to make crisp potato roast and grandmother has a great deal of gifted me her favourite pot as well. patience than I do," says Shreya. The cookbooks I collected on vacations are functional home decorthatremindmeoftheplacesI visited.”

RECIPES FOR GENERATIONS Most women are influenced by their mothers, grandmothers and mothers-in-law in the kitchen. Each family has a treasure trove of recipes that are a reflection of these influences along with factors such as travel, interests, health, likes and dislikes. Some recipes evolve over generations and take on new avatars based on our individuality dishes from her kitchen. It does not also the recipes and the stories and personal style. Sometimes our even have a proper name and I behind them. These stories speak a cooking is also influenced by our would not know where to begin lot about my family history as the neighbours and friends. When looking for it in recipe books. photo albums, which are placed in recipes are shared, Aloo paranthas her living room. From generation to are cooked in traditional Kerala generation, we pass down food household or cheeni sambol,aSri THE PASSING OF traditions, habits, recipes, Lankan side dish, is String hopper’s FOOD TRADITION cookbooks and even utensils that new best friend instead of the My grandmother, who turns 90 carry with them the historical details korma in a Tamil kitchen. Over time, next month, is the culinary matriarch as unique as our genetic code. But the borders blur and taste is all that of my family, who is not only the many of us don’t think of recording matters. These newly acquired guardian of kitchen heirlooms but that history because, after all, what’s recipes will become common in so interesting about something as their new-found homes and go quotidian as how you fix up your cup down in the annals as family recipes FOOD LINKS YOU BACK of coffee? after some time. Even if we are not TO THE MOMENT IN For my dad, every morning that over fond of the dish, it’s about THE KITCHEN WHEN he adds a swirl of honey in his connecting with past generations – cream-filled coffee, he keeps alive a the people who raised you and the YOUR GRANDMOTHER, piece of his late great-uncle, who people before them. MOTHER OR never drank a cup of coffee without Not many of us intake the effort GRANDFATHER LET YOU adropofhoney.Ifyou’reinterested to collect and record the recipes in your family’s ethnic heritage, food from our grandmothers, mothers SNEAK A TASTE OF THE is one of the best places to start and mothers-in-law. We often get a TASTY CHOLE BATURA, because it’s often the last vestige of recipe on the phone and scribble it GULAB JAMUN..... THEY cultural traditions to go. At a family on a piece of paper. It stays pinned ARE INDEED get together a few years ago, my onthefridgeforafewweeksandis mother presented everyone with a forgotten once the paper INVALUABLE MOMENTS family cookbooks that she had disappears. Some recipes perish OF LOVE, WHICH I AM compiled. On each page, she along with our culinary icons, and all LUCKY TO HAVE included the story of why the recipe we can do is only reminisce about was important to her and a little bit what great cooks they were and EXPERIENCED. about the person it came from. miss the dishes they cooked for us. These dishes remind us of happy Some recipes are so simple with times when we enjoyed each other’s such few ingredients that publishers company over home-cooked meals or authors of cookbooks might and conversation; and the moments think of them as insignificant. For when our most important priority instance, my grandmother’s waseachother.Eventryingafun mushroom gravy has just five new recipe together or setting a ingredients but is one of the star table for a book club event becomes a culinary presentation in memory. Food links you back to the moment in the kitchen when your grandmother, mother or grandfather let you sneak a taste of the tasty chole batura, gulab jamun..... They are indeed invaluable moments of love, which I am lucky to have experienced. Families today find it difficult to preserve the food connection with their busy and demanding day-to- day schedules. How is it possible to make a meal from scratch when you have to don various hats of working in the office, picking up the kids, cleaning the house, doing the grocery shopping, and maintaining near ones? We are unable to do the easier. All that needs to be done is start a new life. Cookbooks, old same things in the kitchen that our scan the recipe and then record the food magazines and recipe boxes grandmothers did 20 or 30 years storybehindeachofthem.Itcanbe are like historical time capsules. ago. But now there are innovative loads of work, yet it can also Nothing reverberates of home like and simple ways to treasure the become the most rewarding work the very thought of a buffet table culinary expertise and value family you have ever done with and for with hot familiar dishes during a traditions that have been passed on your family. Preserving family family function. We crave for for generations. recipes is saving and honouring our welcoming choices, repeated Yes, documentation of these heritage so that future generations helpings, and the laughter of heart- family recipes keeps some part of can continue to strengthen those to-heart carefree talk that continues the legacy of our emotional ties ties. In a rapidly changing world, for long, throughout the day. alive. Remembering, collecting, culinary traditions may soon be the These dishes are reminders of recording and passing down the only constant link to our unique the love and sweat involved in its recipes your loved ones have cultural identities. preparation. There may be passed on to you is a wonderful way Family recipes should be shortcuts for working with to honour and immortalise your cherished just like old family computers but definitely not for family. Creative binders and scrap photographs. Every time you cooking. Our family recipes were books are readily available in stores remember your loved ones, simple by today’s standards of these days. You can even add recreate one of the dishes from what’s being shown on the cooking photos, drawings, or handwritten your collection and let the shows. Simple ingredients like jeera, notes from other family members to memories from the good old days dhaniya, garlic, onion ... would turn record every aspect of your embrace and comfort you. A family an ordinary vegetable into memories about the recipe. With recipe book is a meaningful gift to a something delectable. These legacy Story Scans talking images, daughter/son or niece/nephew who dishes and food traditions are preserving family recipes is even is getting married and relocating to wonderful sources of nostalgia. We It’s All About Women: First Women-Only Club Safe and fun place of women, by women and for women. By Aditi Gupta

This club is a platform for women talks and guest lectures, to come together and help one workshops, networking and a whole another to grow as individuals as more hosted by women. well as a team. It boasts about Ms & Mrs also hires many having all-women staff starting housewives as part-time chefs so from the kitchen, bar to bouncers they have a chance to earn their and valet. This club is all about income and be self-sufficient. women. This club has also tied up with Spa and salon services include well-known NGO's to hire foot massage, pedicure, manicure, underprivileged women and give shoulder massage, nail art, hair spa them a platform to be independent. and a whole lot more. It also has a dedicated space s & Mrs is a women’s only The Bar and Kitchen consist of a selling condoms and birth control Mclub located in Bengaluru. curated menu for everyone. pills as an initiative to create a non- It is a safe and fun space of Whether you’re on a diet, on your judgemental space for women and women, by women and for women. menstrual cycle, or you’re pregnant, also help promote safer-sex It is all about what happens when a we’vecuratedamenuforitall. practices. bunch of strong and independent Curated cocktails made with organic The space is open to kitty parties, women get together and discuss life and sustainable resources that keep bachelorette parties, baby showers, outside their comfort space. things fresh, literally! and other events. A space exclusively for women A boutique where women can Theclubwillbeopenfrom12pm which is about 2200 sq. feet, a have their clothes designed or to1ameverydayforwomento property bang in the heart of the altered. avail of all the above-mentioned city fully loaded with spa and salon Activities that keep women amenities. services, a boutique, bar, kitchen, a engaged, Pop Up’s by upcoming The founder plans to open its women necessities store and a businesses run by women, door to the public on the 7th of whole lot more. performances by female artists, March, 2020. We

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 81 reliant on me. And that the less she’s there, the My Family, My more friends flock to me. I’m social in nature, and I do talk to people genuinely. In fact, I do know more people than her and more of them & rely on me for emotional support. It’s only this A friend of mine that I think that way, and whilst a part of me hurts at my own selfishness, part of Q me wonder why I think this way. Part of it is YMOTHERINLAWBY-LAW IS ONLY ONE YEAR OLDER THAN pride, I know. My pride is high. I’m ashamed, but it’s how I Mme and she desperately wants a baby (but my 60 think. I do want to change, but it’s how I think right now. y/o father in law don’t) so ever since my baby girl Make your friend feel special. Spend more time wih her was born she’s eagerly wanting to mother my baby till the and tell her that she is important to you and you value her. stage that she began to take some inappropriate She will feel loved when you will communicate your intimidating actions on my husband (yes, her own son-by- feelings to her. law who is older than her) YET playing innocent in front of ● people so the old hags in the house will join her for her Y HUSBAND AND I WANT A BABY.WHEN I GOT MY PERIOD, pity party. What shall I do? Mmy “friend” said “thank god you aren’t pregnant. I Well, if she has so much craze for kids, you can suggest mean can you really afford a child”. Her words her to adopt one. Have a direct conversation with her. won’t go away and now I’m worried what she will say if i ● get pregnant. Its been a month. ’M ALMOST THIRTY.NEVER HAD A REAL RELATIONSHIP AND MY Its your life and you should do whatever you feel to. IparentsaretheclosestthingIhave.Iamscaredwhen Having a child is your and your husband’s choice. She has they are gone I will be completely alone. Emotionally no right to tell you what you should and should not do. and physically. Also, stop caring about what people say and live your life Try doing things that make you feel happy. And take for yourself. baby steps. Like for example, if you want to start a hobby, ● pick one, and do it frequently. Once you become WORKED HARD AT MY DEGREE, COMPLETED WITH A FIRST accustomed to it, try doing more. And then slowly you can Iposition, I am really proud. My friend got an average of go out, find a job, talk to people. And crawl out of an 68 per cent, threshold is 70 per cent and she still got a antisocial hole. first. I checked all her essays, rewrote entire sections for ● her and although I’m proud and pleased, I hate the fact I ’MA20 YEAR OLD MALE.IHAVE A FAKE PAGE FOR INSTAGRAM, did better but we got the same result. I know I’m a horrid ITwitter, Facebook, and Snapchat. For my fake pages, I person for feeling this way. have no pictures, I have a made-up name, and I just It is wonderful that you worked hard for what you have upload random profile pictures of anything. I make these now. And also it is very natural to feel that way because pages to lurk people’s lives. I’ve been doing this for five you might have a feeling of competition. Do not feel bad years now. I mostly lurk people who I went and go to about it and just wait to see what life has for you in future. schoolwith.Ijustliketoseewhattheydowiththeirlives. ● No one knows I have these fake accounts. HAVE TWO GROUPS OF FRIENDS.THE SPORTY AND THE NERDY I don’t want to make a real account of myself because I Iones. MY nerdy friends absolutely hate me because I have no life. I would have nothing to post. But, I still want just started hanging out with these sporty, popular kids to see the lives of the people I go/went to school with, so I and insist they are beyond a doubt bad for me. I just wanna have these fake accounts instead. go die in a hole and cry because no one understands how I don’t talk to any of them, I just lurk. difficult it is to juggle two different types of friendships I’ve thought about deleting my fake pages, but I’m so with two different types of groups. reluctant to do that because I want to stay connected with The ones that make you choose are probably most these people. likely to betray you or leave you later in life. They clearly Although, having fake ids are not promoted and is not a don’t understand you and doesn’t have your back. Make it good thing. But, the fact that you are not misusing social their choice but if they leave and don’t come back, it media and just having a look at your friend’s profile is fine. wouldn’t be the worst thing. Be with positive people that You don’t need to feel inferior from anyone. Accept make you happy. yourself and confidently make your own social media ● account after deleting the fake ones. Be yourself. EVERY TIME I’M WITH MY BEST FRIEND, ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS ● sleeping with her boyfriend. KEEP ON TELLING MYSELF I WANT TO HELP MY FRIEND IMPROVE, Being sexually attracted to your friend’s boyfriend is Iwant to help her feel less lonely about the things normal. Accept that but simply do not act on it. Step back happening around us. Honestly? I want to say it pains and try to keep a distance. Don’t want to be around her, it me that my true thoughts are about her ending up being will only cause pain.

82 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 A story of passion, will and courage. By Pooja Bajaj

Early years society has against women. My was born in Lucknow to a mother who often fell unwell due to Iconservative middle class family the load on her had to ask help from Strength does not come and did my schooling in a the neighbours to take her to the from physical capacity. It convent school adjacent to the hospital. Somehow I did not like comes from an indomitable railway colony we lived in. My father asking help from them and I will. – Mahatma Gandhi rarely had time for us, being in a resented it. This gave me an tough job in the railways, he was oppurtunity to learn Bajaj Chetak always on tour. My mother was a when I was 14 years old it was then I Govt School teacher in Lucknow. realised that all obstacles are only in As I grew up, I did my best to our minds. help my mother shoulder her responsibilities. However, I was Growing up keenly aware of the bias that the After getting my skills improved on bikes, I thought of buying my own now. Being self dependent, I have never asked single penny from my family after my 12th standard.

Sharp furious and stylish bike rider, Pooja. Early years was born in Lucknow to a Iconservative middle class family and did my schooling in a convent school adjacent to the railway colony we lived in. My father rarely had time for us, being in a tough job in the railways, he was always on tour. My mother was a Govt School teacher in Lucknow. As I grew up, I did my best to help my mother shoulder her responsibilities. However, I was keenly aware of the bias that the society has against women. My mother who often fell unwell due to theloadonherhadtoaskhelpfrom the neighbours to take her to the hospital. Somehow I did not like Bajaj, rode to this asking help from them and I gorgeous bridge, resented it. This gave me an Chicham Bridge, oppurtunity to learn Bajaj Chetak when I was 14 years old it was then I Asia’s highest bridge. realised that all obstacles are only in our minds. Growing up After getting my skills improved on bikes, I thought of buying my own now. Being self dependent, I Pooja sharing a have never asked single penny glimpse of World’s from my family after my 12th highest restaurant in Spiti expedition.

Pooja rides really hard and finally reached the last village of India. MY THIRST FOR ADVENTURE TOOK ME IN A GROUP RIDE TO SPITI VALLEY, HIMACHAL PRADESH IN JUNE’19.

standard. Worked in Mac Donalds, gave tutions and various auto expos helped me to save a substantial amount to buy a pre owned bike. I started to take it around Delhi…My first ride was from Delhi to Panipat, laterItookittoJaipur,Chandigarh, Agra, Haridwar and many more places. In 12 years of pure touring. I have covered almost 22 states and clocked a lac of kms on my bike. 5% of her right shoulder covered Road to recovery With 8 responsible but determined steps to The ordeal was difficult and all with multiple titaniumn’t quit plates, her screwspassion. find my way back to my passion. 26 my friends and relatives were and bolts, she did days after my surgery, under the pleading with me to quit my passion guidance of my doctor I was back to and give up on motor sports. Yet riding. the only question on my mind even I started to increase cc and when I was being rolled into the weight of the bike with each operating theatre, was ‘How soon passing day. I also focussed on will I get back on the bike!’ increasing the kilometeres with As they say, ‘When Life is rough every ride. Taking small determined so u gotta be tough.’ steps I managed to start with 30 The doctors have put multiple kms and moving to 100 then 200 titanium plates, screws and bolts kilometeres. covering 85 per cent of my right My first solo ride was 500 kms shoulder. Just four days after my from Anantpur to Bangalore after complicated and long surgery, I was my surgery. In December I did back to the gym, taking small, Bangalore-Goa-Bangalore group ride, which was 626 kms per day. My journey from literally no bike rides to riding 1200 cc bikes have been just amazing. Yes, the journey wasn’t easy but it was not impossible. In India, women are not encouragedtodowhatIdoand after this kind of injury, people started discouraging me from The fearless biker flaunts her pursuing my passion even more. scars after a complicated but Today, I spent time with people whoaredealingwithphobia,PTSD successful surgery. (post traumatic stress disorder) and motivate them to come back to normalcy. I am also part of Road Safety Campaigns and Hill Safety Campaigns. It’s rightly said never stop believing, never give up and never stop trying. Here is my story of resilliance and determination which has helped me to fight the biggest t for long run to obstacles of my life. Pooja taking ou her shoulder is Icarryabattlescaronmy see how good shoulder which tells the tale of my after surgery. courage and perseverance. Mine is a story of passion, guts and being fearless. I would love my Pooja boasting at story to serve as an inspiration, not World’s highest post only for females but for everyone, on how obstacles can serve to office, Hikkim in Himachal Prades reinforce your passion and you h. come back bolder, stronger and wiser. I have always believed that Unstoppable and ‘Bravery is not a quality of the body. fearless Pooja Bajaj It is of the soul.’ Hence I have always after riding Bajaj felt that my calling cannot be held Dominar. back by who I am or how I look. We child is kept under blue lights for days with the Child Challenges eyes and genitalia covered for protection. This will probably suffice in the case of your baby and he will be right as rain in a few days. & Exchange transfusion is required when the A bilirubin levels are so high that there is a Q possibility of the brain being affected. The baby’s blood is replaced by fresh blood to bring HIS IS THE FIRST WINTER OF MY SEVEN MONTHS OLD down the biluribin levels with immediate effect Tdaughter. I would like to keep her warm and so that brain damage is minimised. completely covered but my mother-in-law says that I ● should either cover her head or her feet and one should Y LITTLE DAUGHTER IS SUFFERING FROM IRRITATION IN THE not put a cap and booties on together. Is that right? Mvaginal area from a year and a half. We have No. you should keep her covered well and that includes already consulted skin specialists and urinary both head and feet. The head of the baby is large in experts too and she has no relief. Kindly help. proportion to her body and she can lose heat very easily if it First of all we have to look for the cause of irritation in is left uncovered, even for a short while. the vaginal area. She could be suffering from pinworms ● that can travel from the anal region to the vagina. De- I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW MANY MILK TEETH A CHILD HAS AND worming helps in such cases and can be repeated after a what is the order of their eruption? while. A child has a set of 20 milk teeth (upper and lower jaw A gynecological consult will be useful. Local application combined) that comprise of two incisors or front teeth, a of estrogen (a female hormone) cream helps cases of canine on either side of the incisors and the first and intractable irritation of the vaginal area but have to be second molar at the back on either side on each jaw. given over prolonged periods and under medical Dentition begins at six months of age and is completed by supervision. 24 months. The first to appear are the lower central Other causes are fungal and/or trichomonal infections. incisors at six months of age while the upper central Treatment is easily available for the same. If she has incisors and the lower lateral incisors erupt at seven vaginal discharge it can be tested by the pathologist and months. The first molars appear between 12 to 14 months, treatment decided accordingly. Very occasionally, only if the canines between 16-18 months and the second molars no other cause is found can a psychological reason be between 20-24 months. attributed to the above symptoms. ● ● YWIFEHADANORMALDELIVERY. DUE TO PAUCITY OF BEDS HAVE A SEVEN MONTHS OLD SON. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT Min the hospital we were sent home the very next Ifood should I give him? I have started cereals, rice with day and asked to bring the baby back for a check vegetables etc. please advice what else should I give up after five days. To our horror we were told that he has him. developed jaundice and needs to be readmitted. What are The foods you have started are good enough. the repercussions of such a situation? I am very worried. Commercially available weaning foods like Cerelac and Physiological jaundice occurs in approximately 50% of Nestum can also be given though they work out to be more newborns. It is characterised by yellowish discoloration of expensive. You could mash bananas, potatoes etc and give the skin and the white of the eyes and appears on the him a small amount at a time or even give her half-boiled second or third day of birth, disappearing within one to eggs and fruit juice. Semolina, rice kheer, custard, thin two weeks. The yellowing begins in the upper part of the khichdi can also be given. body and spreads downwards. This is not an infective Do not bombard her taste buds with different kinds of condition but occurs because the baby in the womb has food at one go lest they get confused! You could introduce higher heamoglobin levels than a newborn as the former one type of food in a week so that she gets used to it and has to extract oxygen from the maternal blood while the then add another the next week. Make sure that you keep latter gets it directly from the air. her likes and dislikes in mind and don’t force feed her foods As there is no need for the extra red blood cells after that she throws out just because you think are good for birth they are destroyed. Jaundice is caused by the her. accumulation of bilirubin (a waste product produced by – Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD. the breakdown of red blood cells) in the blood, skin, and other tissues as the immature liver of the newborn is Readers are invited to send their problems of child care and unable to remove this substance effectively from the child rearing. WOMAN’S ERA will provide the answers, body. solutions to problems usually encountered by mothers, young If the jaundice appears earlier or the bilirubin levels are and old. Address your letters (neatly written on white paper) to: high (as in your case), the baby may need phototherapy WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055. or even exchange transfusion. During phototherapy the

86 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 Sara Ali Khan

Sara Ali Khan Trolled For ‘Awkward’ Bikini Pose With Brother Sara Ali Khan recently posted a bikini picture with her brother Ibrahim to wish him on his birthday. In the picture, Sara clasps onto Ibrahim, who most netizens feel is quite uncomfortable with the pose. Many messages poured in the comment section trolling her. Mira Kapoor Actress Richa Chadda and Ali Fazal

Actress Richa Chadda To Tie The Knot Mira Kapoor Flaunts Her Love For With Ali Fazal In April? Shahid Kapoor With ‘SK Tattoo” Star couple Richa Chadda and Ali Fazal will Mira Rajput turned the festival of colours most probably tie the knot in the last week of into the festival of love by getting the initials April. As per reports, the two have even applied of her husband Shahid Kapoor’s name written for a marriage registration at a court in Mumbai. on her neck. Aren’t these two goals? Nick Jonas And Priyanka Chopra Shilpa Shetty And Raj Kundr

Shilpa Shetty And Nick Jonas And Priyanka Raj Kundra Welcome Chopra Celebrate Their First Baby Girl Via Surrogacy Holi As Married Couple It’s time to send Since it was the first holi for congratulatory messages to Nick Jonas, he celebrated every Bollywood actress Shilpa bit of it with his wife Priyanka Shetty and her husband Chopra. Decked up in twinning Raj Kundra as they have white outfits the couple was become parents of a in the mood to enjoy, as we baby girl, born could spot them playing through surrogacy. with the gun (pichkari) Shilpa and Raj and splashing colours on named their each other. daughter Samisha. Kareena Kapoor Finally Makes Her Social Media Debut Themuchawaited Instagram debut is here and it is of none other than Kareena Kapoor. After keeping the fans on hold for a long time, bebo launched her Instagram account by the name ‘KareenaKapoorKhan’ and

Kareena Kapoor posted a stunning picture of herself. – Bahnishikha Paul. Itʼs 24X7 globally! By Elsa Lycias Joel

ooling or being fooled is fun struggle with the basics of gifted as a dainty present or stick a Fonly when the victim is also everything as much as we do from paper fish to the victim’s back. enjoying the fun. Pranks are deep prejudices – across caste and Should we fret about being enjoyed almost always if they mean class, region and religion and governed by people who are as no threat to life. Otherwise, why is gender. ‘Fish’ indeed has a crooked as a barrel of fish hooks? All Fools Days’ celebrated connection to French on the first Are you wondering, ‘What’s this got worldwide? Nobody is bothered day of April or “Poisson d’ Avril”. All to do with the price of fish?’ Not about its origin, murky or bright as their pranks include a fish, either only did we stop from borrowing long as it’s fun and frolic. constitutional features, we also AS FAR AS INDIAN borrowed preliminary lessons on Is fooling an offence in DEMOCRACY IS fooling people and fool away India or not? CONCERNED, EVERY exchequer money. Fooling is no offence in India as all people are fooled all the time by DAY IS ALL FOOLS’ DAY successive governments. As far as WITH WELL-BEING AT Indian democracy is concerned, STAKE. SELF- every day is All Fools’ Day with well- being at stake. Self-deception being DECEPTION BEING THE the foundation of fooling, we must FOUNDATION OF accept the fact that India fools itself FOOLING, WE MUST on the realities of the world. Get ACCEPT THE FACT THAT real! We can’t expect leaders with no balls to play ball in a world that INDIA FOOLS ITSELF ON demands cooperation, honesty and THE REALITIES OF THE integrity to advance peace. Let’s WORLD. GET REAL! deliberate on if we even deserve a special day to trick one another. Fooling is serious business in India. Only the terminologies associated with fooling one another are too complicated to comprehend. Having picked up the best features from other constitutions doesn’t seem to help our democracy mature and develop. Let’s also try to take some simple fooling lessons from countries that might help lighten our mood. The core goals of the ideals of a republic – liberty, equality and fraternity – are borrowed from France remain so distant. Perhaps, the critical underlying reason at the heart of many of our country’s challenges has been the attitude of governments. Nothing but, ‘Fishing in troubled waters’. That is why we

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 89 April Fools’ day in Scotland Of all the eight features we THE GAME DOESN’ T STOP borrowed from Britain, one that WITH HUNTING. IT’ S springs to my mind is the “Rule of Law”. Since every day is FOLLOWED BY “TAILIE DAY” AS WELL. IT’ S ABOUT fools’ day here, we ought to take the cue from Scotland’s PINNING A ‘ KICK ME- HARD’ SIGN ON THE GOWKS’ April Fools’ Day. First day is “Hunt DERRIERES. the Gowk” day. Why the Gowk? Maybe because cuckoo is symbolic of infidelity and selfishness. So, rule of law must prevail to hunt down selfish politicians who create deep chasms to survive in power by us the feature of ‘Residuary powers lakhs of money to every citizen’s provoking and promoting enmity in vesting with the centre’ and account, or ‘two crore jobs’ and a the name of everything and ‘Centrifugal form of federalism lot more. Nothing stops centrifugal anything. The game doesn’t stop where the centre is stronger than forces from playing fools’ day with with hunting. It’s followed by “Tailie the states’ in addition to a few statements, subtle jabs and Day” as well. It’s about pinning a others Canada has also given us insinuations. ‘A boyhood friend for ‘Kick me- Hard’ sign on the gowks’ enough fooling lessons. Our a corporate criminal’, or ‘when a big derrieres. For rule of law to prevail governments are known for tree falls, the earth shakes’, or and succeed in achieving equality elaborate announcements and lies. ‘Illegal kickbacks wasn’t a scandal and justice in a pluralistic society If a prime minister can joke about but rather a media trial’, or ‘’Make like ours, hunting and tailing should punching a famous actor, why can’t in India’ or ‘Token money’ and many be played on all days. a handful with residuary powers more. vested in them announce, ‘files Well, talking about the ‘Land of Fooling the nation disappeared’, or ‘the deposition of Plenty’, we can’t but remain forever Be it the directive principles of grateful for the three features, state policy or nomination of especially the concept of members of the Rajya Sabha or the concurrent list. We must believe method of election of the president, ‘ THE DEPOSITION OF reports of Tasmania University that the winners and losers in India are LAKHS OF MONEY TO drop bears understand at their best playing all EVERY CITIZEN’ S Australian accent if we fools’ day the ACCOUNT, believe the state law Irish way. will override the Nobody in ‘ TWO CRORE JOBS’ AND Union law on India can A LOT MORE. receiving the assent decide if the ‘ FILES DISAPPEARED’ of our president. one carrying We Indians are blessed the ‘letter’ is with a great sense of humour. the prankster or So does Russia that the Russian the victim. The only thing we know foreign ministry put out an ‘Official is that the letter will travel the Joke’ – a video of a proposed length and breadth of the country voice–mail message for its embassy as the carrier, receiver and answering machines only on April forwarder make big money. Haven’t Fools’ Day. On the contrary, having we seen and known the election of borrowed the concept of our president, enactment of laws fundamental duties from Russia we and his role in it. Indirect elections are bound to or entitled to play and nominations to Rajya Sabha is fools’ day in an attempt to win over all about “fooling further” or Russia, sign more pacts to enable a “sending the fool further”. Take handful grow richer and debate pride in our Constitution. Every time endlessly on where and how deals a people- friendly scheme is doled went wrong. out, don’t forget the “Annual Well, the ‘Lie Lama’ will live an ceremony of washing the lions”. entire life thinking his fundamental Being so generous about lending duty is to lie. But the joke is on us. We

90 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 infection with broad- spectrum antibiotics. Your Body Analgesics and anti-inflammatory drugs are often helpful for pain relief. Codeine may be used to control the cough associated with & pleuritic chest pain if retention of airway A secretions is not a likely complication. Q Intercostal (space between two ribs) nerve blocks are sometimes helpful but the benefit AM A 27-YEARS-OLD WORKING WOMAN AND RECENTLY GOT is usually transient. Any treatment should be Imarried. After marriage, due of some problem with my taken only after consultation of a doctor. in-laws and husband, I developed adjustment disorder ● and isolated stress response. I consulted a doctor for this Y HUSBAND IS ABOUT 50 YRS OLD, SINCE LAST MONTHS HE problem, he advised me psychotherapy. I want to know Mis suffering from cough with sputum, fever, pain in about the role of psychotherapy in this problem. chest during respiration. We have consulted a Prolonged in-depth psychotherapy is seldom necessary doctor for this problem, after examination and in cases of isolated stress response or adjustment disorder. investigation, doctor told us that he is suffering from Supportive psychotherapy with an emphasis on the here fibrinous (Dry) pleurisy and adviced treatment. I want to and now and strengthening of existing defences is a helpful know about this disease in detail. approach so that time and the patient's own resilience can Fibrinous (Dry) Pleurisy is the term used to describe restore the previous level of function. Post-traumatic stress the cases of pleurisy at the stage of fibrinous exudation syndromes respond to early catharsis and dynamic when there is no significant degree of effusion (fluid in psychotherapy oriented towards acceptance of the event, lungs). It is usually secondary to bacterial infection in the with the expectation of quick recovery and return to the underlying lung but may also occur in association with a previous level of functioning. Early cognitive behavioural viral infection, which primarily involves the intercostal interventions can also speed recovery. Psychologic muscles and is known as Bornholm disease. Dry pleurisy is debriefing is a single session, once considered a mainstay common feature of pulmonary infarction and may be an in prevention of post-traumatic stress disorder, it is being early manifestation of pleural invasion by a pulmonary re-evaluated as a therapeutic option. Marital problems are tumour or of pulmonary tuberculosis. The characteristic a major area of concern, and it is important that the symptom of dry pleurisy is pleural pain. On examination rib clinician have available a dependable referral source when movement is restricted and the breath sounds may be marriage counselling is indicated. diminished on the affected side, A pleural rub is heard in a ● high proportion of cases. In the acute stage of dry pleurisy, YDAUGHTERISA21 YEARS-OLD COLLEGE-GOING GIRL AND respiration may be so painful that the limited range of Musually suffers from respiratory infections and movement of the chest wall may be insufficient to produce pneumonia but since last few weeks she is suffering an audible rub. The other clinical features depend on the from pain in chest. Pain is localised, sharp and fleeting and nature of the lesion causing the pleurisy. Depending on becomes worse by cough, sneezing, deep breathing or the cause, complete clinical recovery may ensure or an movement and sometimes the pain goes towards the effusion may develop, either serous of purulent. X-Ray shoulder. We have consulted a physician for this problem. must be performed in every case but a negative radiograph He told us that she is suffering from pleuritis and advised does not necessarily exclude a pulmonary cause for the treatment and some nerve block of the chest. What is your pleurisy. A preceding history of a few days cough, purulent opinion? sputum and fever is presumptive evidence of a pulmonary Pain due to acute pleural inflammation is caused by infection which may not have been severe enough to irritation of the parietal pleura (outermost layer of the produce a radiographic abnormality or which may have lungs). Such pain is localised, sharp and fleeting and is resolved before the film was taken. Primary cause of made worse by cough, sneezing, deep breathing or pleurisy must be treated like if it is due to bacterial movement. When the central portion of the diaphragmatic infection than give broad spectrum antibiotics and if it is of parietal pleura is irritated, pain may be referred to the tubercular origin that antitubercular chemotherapy is ipsilaterla shoulder (opposite shoulder). There are must. Alongwith this symptomatic treatment of pleural numerous causes of pleuritis. The setting in which pleuritic pain or fever should be given. pain develops helps to narrow the differential diagnosis. In – Dr Sanjay Teotia. young, otherwise healthy individuals, pleuritis is usually Readers are invited to send in any health and medical caused by viral respiratory infections or pneumonia. The queries they would like to be answered. Woman’s Era will presence of pleural effusion (fluid within the lung), pleural provide answers to your questions and offer solutions to your thickening or air in the pleural space requires further problems. Individual replies cannot be sent. Address your diagnostic and therapeutic measures. A Simple rib fracture letters (neatly written on white paper) to: may cause severe pleurisy. Treatment of pleuritis consists WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055. of treating the underlying disease like treatment of Womansera.com

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 91

AM IN THE EIGHTH MONTH OF MY THIRD PREGNANCY. I am Pregnant II would like to get a sterilisation operation done after delivery. I would also like to know what exactly is done to prevent conception. & First of all let me enlighten you regarding A the procedure. On both sides of the uterus are Q tubes called Fallopian tubes that end in finger- like processes called fimbria. These hang over HAVE PAIN IN THE CENTRAL LOWER REGION JUST BELOW MY the ovaries on each side and pick up the egg. Iabdomen in the bone. It has become so severe that I The egg gets fertilised by the sperm in the tube. During am unable to stand on one foot. Please tell me why it sterilisation operation the tubes are occluded and has occurred and what should be done about it. conception does not occur. The joints loosen up during pregnancy to facilitate ● labour. This causes the problems that you are AM EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT THAT THE SIZE OF MY BREASTS IS experiencing. A warm compress can feel really good for Ismall. This had lead to body shaming in my teen years this odd sore spot. Visit your obstetrician/orthopaedic but now that I am pregnant, my prime concern is will I specialist for treatment if the condition does not be able to produce enough milk for my baby? If not, are improve. there medicines to enhance milk secretion? ● One thing that worries women with small breasts is HAVE RECENTLY DELIVERED A BABY. MY CONSTANT WORRY IS whether they will be able to produce sufficient milk for Iwhether my breast milk sufficient for my baby. How can breast feeding. The size of the breast has no relation to I know that he is getting adequate milk from my breasts the amount of milk produced. and does not need a top feed? Most of the breast tissue is made of fat and fibrous It is rare that mother produces insufficient milk for her tissue while milk is produced by the lactiferous system child, though this is the standard refrain of the upper class that occupies a very small space. woman. Why is it that our poor who have anaemia and The more the baby sucks, the more will be the milk nutritional deficiencies of all kinds able to feed their production. One does not need medicines to enhance milk children for two years while the upper class switch over to secretion. The powders and medicines available in the the bottle at the slightest pretext? That is because the market to enhance secretion of breast milk at best, work poor cannot afford top feeds and ‘per force’ their babies as placebos. have to depend upon what is best for them – breast milk. ● That is why paradoxically, their babies appear better PLEASE TELL ME WHAT ARE KEGEL’S EXCERCISES HOW THEY ARE nourished than the rich ones in the first few months of done and what are the benefits of doing them. life. Kegel’s exercises strengthen the "pelvic floor muscles" How does a mother know that she is producing – the muscles that support the various pelvic organs from sufficient milk? If your baby is gaining weight, if he passes below. They also encircle the urinary and rectal sphincters urine frequently, is active, sleeps well and appears healthy and help control the act of urination and defecation. The and happy, it means that what you produce is enough for weight of the growing uterus on the bladder could lead to his needs. incontinence – the leakage of urine especially during Even a mother with twins can feed her babies straining – coughing, sneezing etc. adequately on breast milk alone. All that you need is a Kegels exercises help in preventing this embarrassing balanced, nutritious diet with enough of calcium, vitamins situation and also improve the muscle tone and elasticity and proteins and fluids. A feeding mother needs 500-600 which comes handy at the time of delivery. more calories so eat healthy while breast-feeding. You can do them anywhere – sitting in your car, ● chatting with your friends on the phone, standing in a IS IT ADVISABLE TO CLIMB STAIRS AND LIFT WEIGHTS DURING queque for they are not externally visible. To find the pregnancy? correct muscles try stopping the flow of urine midstream If you are not advised bed rest due to complications by squeezing these muscles for a few seconds and you can climb the stairs but you do not wear heels. Take relaxing them. your time while climbing up or down the stairs. Do not Once you have got the hang of it, do it, when you do haul yourself up by holding the railings and pulling yourself not have to urinate for retention of urine can lead to up by your arms. Instead put each foot firmly on the next urinary tract infection. step and climb. Alternatively, place a finger inside your vagina and feel As for weights, avoid lifting heavy objects. While it tighten when you squeeze. If you are still unsure ask picking up smaller objects from the floor do not bend at your doctor to help identify the correct muscles. Do not the waist to do so. Instead bend your knees, lower yourself tighten other muscles, like those of the stomach and legs into a squatting position by bending your knees and then with it and do not hold your breath. pick it up. – Dr Amrinder Kaur Bajaj, MD.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 93

dam is the solution'. The recommended limit Kitchen Queries of salt consumption is 5 grams per day. To control the use of salt in our diet we should avoid sprinkling salt on salads, cut fruits etc. & Reduce salt in cooking, consuming less of or A avoiding soy sauce, salad dressings, pickles and Q papads. Avoid use of baking powder and baking soda in your daily cooking. OW THAT THE SUMMER SEASON IS UPON US, WE WILL NEED A ● Nfew ways to keep our pulses, raw, rice etc free from SOYA BEAN IS VERY GOOD FOR US, CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE US THE insects. Please tell us a simple one. advantages and disadvantages if taken in excess? There are many ways to do this but the most simplest is Every thing however beneficial for us is good as long as home based and does not need any chemical agent. Cut it is taken in moderation. Soya is a very good source of some bitter gourds or karela into rings, dry them proteins for us, especially for vegetarians. It is good for thoroughly in the sun and mix with the pulses to keep them the heart and also brings relief to post menopausal free from infestation. women. But people will have a problem if consumed in ● excess. Too much can cause hormonal imbalance which Y FOOD COVER FOR THE MICROWAVE GOT BURNT can result in reduced hair growth and also digestion Maccidentally, please suggest some way to avoid problems. Soya beans have a high level of photic acid splatters dirtying the inside of the microwave. more than any other legume. Phytic acid may block the There is a simple way to do this till you are able to get a absorption of certain minerals. new food cover. We all have disposable paper plates in our ● home, so just stash a paper plate close to the microwave to WHAT ARE OMEGA-3 EGGS, ARE THEY A BETTER OPTION? use as a cover when reheating food. it catches splatters Eggs are considered to be one of the most nutritious better than a paper towel and makes cleanup easy or foods and hence are consumed by a lot of people for unnecessary. breakfast. The omega-3 eggs are produced by hens which ● are fed on a diet comprising flax seeds and fish oil. All the ANY PEOPLE SUGGEST AVOIDING EGG YOLKS TO LOSE omega-3 is contained in the egg yolk. These eggs are Mweight, as they think that the albumen or the egg expensive so just to get omega-3 in your diet you do not white is merely less fatty and can be consumed need to spend extra, just add a couple of tablespoons of freely. Is it a myth or a fact that the egg yolk is a friend or a flax seed and fatty fish once a week to get your daily foe? requirement. However the pastured eggs are more All - white omelettes, boiled-whites in salad, and a yolk- nutritious than regular white conventional eggs. They less life. Egg yolks are not the enemy. The yellow bit makes have a higher level of vitamin A and E and are lower in up for half the protein. You get more calcium, copper, iron, cholesterol. So your best choice should be pastured eggs manganese, selenium, zinc and many more vitamins if you followed by omega-3 eggs. The regular conventional eggs eat the egg with the yolk. The best way to cook eggs is to are still very nutritious and healthy. boil, poach or scramble them or add lots of vegetables. ● ● WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO STORE NUTS? IT IS SAID THAT DIFFERENT NUTS HAVE DIFFERENT REASONS TO BE Refrigerate them! Because of their oil content, nuts consumed. Please tell us about some of them. can get rancid quickly when left out especially in the hot Yes this is true though you can consume them all but in season. Stash them in a sealed airtight container in the limitation. Though below are some guidelines: To control fridge for three months (or the freezer for up to a year). blood sugar, eat pistachios. If you look at screens all day Before you use any in a recipe, sample them to be sure eat apricots. If you've been drinking eat dates. If your they are still sweet. heart's in trouble eat almonds. If you are prone to fractures ● eat cashews. If you are tired and low eat walnuts. If your WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OF USING A INDUCTION HOTPLATE? blood pressure needs toning down eat figs. If you are prone Nowadays you will find an Induction hotplate in every to illness eat pecans. kitchen. But to use it you have to make sure that your ● pots and pans are "induction safe". If you're unsure about AXIMISE HEALTH BY MINIMISING SALT, SUGAR AND FAT older ones, do the magnet test: if a magnet sticks to the “Mintake" is the modern mantra. How can we bottom, it can be used with induction. You will never burn reduce the intake of salt in our diet? meals again, heat is transferred directly to pans (not from Human taste for food evolved over thousands of years burners). So, food warms up right away and cooks faster- to help seek the nutrition we need. It is for that reason and when you turn the burner off, heat transfer stops that we find the sweet and salty tastes highly attractive. immediately. And nothing will boil over. Lastly it uses 10 Too much salt can cause lifestyle diseases like per cent less energy than a smooth-top electric range. hypertension and related health issues. So 'aaa se thud – Savita Bhargava.

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 95 CLASSIFIEDS They are having to work as IN-LAWS/OUT-LAWS servants and plus WANTED BRIDE Also if certain changes are BENGALURU resident, 29, financially well I would like to tell my required to be made in the house settled, handsome boy seeks beautiful, future mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law wishes to do educated, caring, sincere, broadminded When a girl is about to get things in a certain way, she is not homely girl, no dowry, no caste bar. Looking married, she has certain encouraged and a mother-in-law for Companionship/Marriage. Please contact on +917022506767. expectations from the home she is insists of doing things her way about to get married into and only. No freedom is given to the I AM a 39 year old 5'8" physically especially certain expectations daughter-in-law. handicapped man who wants a friendly, from her husband and most of all Once the daughter-in-law helpful and cooperative live in partner aged below 35 years for myself. She can be a from her mother-in-law. comes to the house she should be divorcee or widow but without children. I am Respect is a common feeling, given dedicated place to keep her from a reputed family living in Delhi. My what you give is the thing that you things (clothes etc). Sometimes father is a senior retired government officer. get. She anticipates that you she is not given dedicated space Please contact: [email protected] should treat her family with a and has to leave her things behind ADOPTION similar respect that she has for in her parents house. A Christian couple settled in Canada wants to you. This is one of the most "Sometimes if it is a joint family adopt a baby girl aged 4 to 8 years. Contact: significant desires that a daughter- the in-laws do not give space to [email protected] in-law has from her better half and their son and daughter-in-law and his family. In the event that you TOURS AND TRAVELS the children cannot even go out TRAVELEASE: For rail and air ticketing, car approach her people with alone to have a meal or even go rentals, hotel reservations and documen- deference and love, she will give out for a movie. tations. Special holidays package. For Shimla, you the equivalent. Some alone time should be Manali, Mussoorie, Nainital, Dalhousie, When a mother-in-law decides given to the couple for them to Darjeeling. Also Mauritius, Bangkok, Phuket, to get her son married, I feel she develop an understanding with Europe, USA and for more than 100 destinations in India and abroad. Contact: has to be prepared to make space each other at least in the initial phone no. 22459136 fax: 911122502959 at for another person coming into months of their marriage"; Manglam, R-50, Vikas Marg, New Delhi. the house, an additional person. says Angela Shergill, a (Sundays open). She has to be prepared to give psychotherapist and counselling ADVICE up at least some of the control she psychologist. has had on the house and her son Lastly I would like to say that a READERS are advised to make if she wants her daughter-in-law to mother-in-law should look at her appro priate and thorough settle down as an integral member daughter-in-law as “My daughter- enquiries before acting upon any of her house. If a daughter-in-law in-law is the woman my son picked advertise ment. This magazine wants to participate in any of the to be my best friend”. does not vouch for sub scribe to household chores, kitchen etc. Her – Monika Agarwal, Moradabad. claim any represen tation made mother-in-law has to let her do as by the adver tiser regarding the she wants without her particulars of status of what is interference and nagging as she would let her daughter do (if she offered. has one). If you have had an HOW DO YOU LIKE She should welcome her encounter with any of daughter-in-law as a daughter and your in-laws, let our readers THIS ISSUE? know it. Whether it is pleasant or sour, not see her as a servant who has it does not matter so long as it is Entertaining, WE is anxious to give come in their house to serve and interesting and illustrates human you good, interesting and useful cook for them or wash their strengths and weaknesses. All material in every issue. It will help us clothes or keep the house neat accepted contributions will be paid a lot if you let us know which features, ` and clean. Yes everyone likes to 200 each. Send you contributions. stories and articles you like from this duly typed or written in neat hand issue and which you didn't. keep their house neat and clean writing to. Suggestions for new features and but not to be treated as a servant IN-LAWS/OUT-LAWS topics are most welcome. and all servants and helpers in the Please address your letters to: house be removed on her coming E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055. WOMAN'S ERA as some mother-in-laws do. (I have Womansera.com E-3 Jhandewala Estate, proof where some daughter-in- Name: New Delhi-110055. laws are suffering like this at the Mobile: Womansera.com hands of their mother-in-laws). E-mail:

96 Woman’s Era ● April 2020 the Indian Constitution, because brotherhood. Impressive conver - keeping nearly half the population of sation must be spoken with a nation educationally backward than emotions as per the requirement of the another half, is a 'blot' on our the topic and preferences should be democracy, the so-called 'largest given to the topics of general democracy in the world'. This is interest. A good orator always keeps nothing but Inequality Before Law! the audience mesmerised with the Hence, there is a need to make witty, beautiful and inspiring words.I the 'marriage age bar' under the agree with the writer that in today’s Special Marriage Act, 1954 and the world of social media we have lost Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 (both) the the touch with great conversations same (equal) for both the sexes at 21 as our focus has been shifted to a FEMINISM VS years. mere connection only. Let us enrich INEQUALITY BEFORE – Suresh Prasad, Darjeeling. our lives by interacting with one LAW! another and feel the positive impact This refers to the that a good conversation brings in article, When Equality THE POSITIVE IMPACT our lives. Wilts, Feminism Kicks OF CONVERSATION In! by Farai Diza (WE The article, The Art February 2020). This is rightly said in Of Conversation by SOCIAL MEDIA A the article that 'feminism is about all Priyanka Chauhan, BOON OR BANE genders having equal rights and (February 2020), The article Social opportunities'. makes an interesting Media Spool by Aditi As far as India is concerned, ours reading while highlighting the Sisodia, (February is a land of gender discrimination positive points of a good 2020) very well since time immemorial. Even upto conversation. Conversing with like defines the this 21st century, women are minded people provides immense joy advantages and disadvantages of discriminated against in this 'land of that leaves an indelible impression social media. Life has really become gods' or the 'devobhoomi', so much on our mind, a beautiful memory to easy with the use of internet as you so, that some of our laws too are be cherished which always energises can get all the information regarding discriminatory and derogatory to our mind and body. Conversation any subject, update yourself with women. The most discriminatory enhances our knowledge, promotes latest news and enhance your being the 'provision' of the three mutual cooperation and spirit of knowledge from intensive study. It years 'gap' in the 'minimum marriageable ages' of a man and a woman in India! I am annoyed at this THIS IS WHY BJP future elections, BJP need to present 'marriage age bar' (under FACES SETBACK IN seriously introspect on certain the Special Marriage Act, 1954 and DELHI ASSEMBLY policies to prevent closure of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955) of 21 ELECTION manufacturing units, hinder years for boys and 18 years for girls As AAP trouncing development process ultimately which is not based upon the principle opposition for the leading to frustration in youth and of equality. second time in rise in unemployment. Also, For example, at the age of 21, a succession in the Delhi assembly Narendra Modi need to rein in boy turns out to be a graduate from polls is phenomenal, it is also a wake- rabble-rousers in the party while a university, whereas a girl of 18 is up call to BJP that hate politcs, asking them to only highlight on just Senior Secondary (Plus Two) inflammatory speeches and problems faced by the nation on the passed. Thus by 'law' also women are indulging in hammer and tongs security front and steps taken to three years educationally backward personal attacks on Kejriwal and address all issues concerning the than the men. And this is perhaps the other leaders while ignoring pressing common man. All in all, BJP must 'most discriminatory law' in India issues concerning the common man not take people for granted under which keep females always three has cost BJP dearly in Delhi. any circumstances to prove its years behind their male counterparts. The fact that the results are a sincerity in serving the people Why not both 21, so that both may clear revelation that merely relying without bias or discrimination, have equal education and career at on Hindutva catchphrase and hate otherwise they would be facing the time of marriage? politics cannot win elections. public wrath and pushed out like it In this sense, the present age bar Further, it is important that in order happened in the recent Delhi polls. of 21 and 18 years is a violation of to make an impact on electorates in – R. Srinivasan, Secunderabad. Article 14 (Equality Before Law) of

Woman’s Era ● April 2020 97 has rapidly increased connectivity. It them mould into such wonderful – to provide sufficient water to helps us in reuniting with our long human beings. 'Reciprocation' is an the areas which are not getting lost relatives, our previous important feature which any adequate amount of water; classmates and in creating strong individual should adhere to. At the – suitable measure to be taken, in bonds with people whom we have fag end of the life, its natural for order, to conserve water resources met on this platform for the first humans to behave like kids, by minimising it's loss at storage; time. We derive inspiration from the expecting warmth and attention – to improve the quality of water like minded people which provides seeking from the members of the of the water bodies by reducing us inner joy. People from all age family, as this provides them with water pollution; groups love to spend their time on psychological and emotional – to reduce soil erosion, as well as, the internet but for youngsters the fulfillment and that's life after all. silting of river beds and use of internet has become an The daughter-in-law realising her – to increase water table by addiction. They curiously explore the mistake and re-correcting herself, recharging ground water. sites that are harmful for them, come gives a good end to the story. into the contact of fake people who – Preetha Rengaswamy, Chennai. manage to bully them thereby EXEMPLIFICATION OF trapping them into anti social ‘UNDERSTATEMENT’ activities. Young girls are blackmailed SUSTAINABLE This refers to the by their dishonest friends on social AGRICULTURAL thought-provoking sites leading them to depression PRODUCTION article titled : Fine Art resulting in even suicides. Many anti- This is with of Understatement. social people get connected through reference to Pests and (WE January, 2020) As these sites. Couples represent the Diseases in Organic known, an understatement can be best of them on internet by posting Home Garden done in writing or in speech. When pictures of their love and care while (February issue). Having understood we make an understatement, the in reality they strongly dislike each the importance of organic issue at hand is made to seem less other. The internet which appears to cultivation, many like me are important or severe. This can be be a boon shockingly turns into the adapting ourselves into kitchen done for an ironic effect or simple to bane. We should learn to adapt only garden and cultivating suitable be polite. An understatement is an the best side of social media while vegetables in the terrace and space important figure of speech. For discarding the worst side of it if really around our residences. This article example, to say that her resignation want the peace to prevail has provided me with important tips was a shock would be an everywhere. on how to progress further on my understatement. Likewise, ... but "I – Harinder Kaur, Jalandhar. hobby on gardening, explaining the am not very good " can mean almost do's and dont's on controlling pets any standard, understating both which is a menace. Reading such extremes. RECIPROCITY OF articles encourages us to overcome – Beena Mathur, Pune. ‘KINCHIP CARE’ the hurdles and cultivate the veggies The prize is awarded to: Charity Begins At we consume, free of pesticides and R. Srinivasan, Secunderabad. Home, (February 2020 artificial ripening, which no doubt, issue) was an gives immense satisfaction. WOMAN'S ERA interesting read. Not – Choodamani Vasudevan, Chennai. invites readers’ many speakers opinions and practice what they speak on stage. reactions on articles, short stories In this story, the grand children MAIN OBJECTIVES OF NATIONAL WATER and features published though young at age, are mature at in Woman’s Era. The best heart and are able to sympathise and POLICY letter will be given a prize of empathise with their grandma. This refers to `500. Address your letters by They're able to feel the loneliness informative article E-mail to: [email protected] she suffers, after the demise of her titled: Need For A or by post to: husband. The touch and care the National Water Policy. AS YOU SAY young grand daughter gives her (WE January, 2020) As known, the grandma all through the night when National Water Policy of the E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055. she's sick, shows the emotional love, Government of India has been Womansera.com bonding and regards she has for her. designed, in order to ensure that The grand children are able to realise water resources of the country, are Name: that the moral values taught by the judiciously managed, conserved and Mobile: grandma while young, had helped utilised. The main objectives are: E-mail:

98 Woman’s Era ● April 2020