Inside this Issue News 2 Opinion 6 Student Life 7 Feature 8 Sports 10 Entertainment 12 NSK 16 the Cord Classifieds 16

"The tie that binds since 1926"

VOLUME XXXVII • ISSUE ONE • WEDNESDAY, MAY 29,1996 SUMMER EDITION YVLU Student Publications

Bonham show

an Upright success

See Storyll^^^^ NEWS

Laurier Faculty

concerned about lock out

MELANIE SEAL knew that The for conciliation is Fusco said that there tors, we was a strategy application were up to two

Cord news On May 15, Dr. Marsden that could be used. What surprised seen by WLUFA as simply a legal hundred faculty members present, At the Board University of announced that the University was us was that the university did it step giving the University authority and the large amount of retired fac-

Governors meeting on May 28, cries applying to the Minister of Labour now," WLUFA Presdient Fusco to lock out its employees. ulty members illustrated the con-

of"shame" from for the of feels that this "a the of errupted over forty appointment a conciliator said, "Things have been damaged." WLUFA creates cern concept a conciliator had

disturbed members as for This feels that need to to raised. "The members faculty they negotiations. move was not WLUFA negotiations develop means place were angry, left the Paul Martin Centre. Wilfrid who viewed had been the this that nei- anticipated by WLUFA, proceeding smoothly. political pressure on University was a power move was

Laurier Association's the "We had been reached President and the board". ther warranted Faculty move as aggressive. Agreement on a nor necessary," President Luke Fusco spoke to the weren't at an impass, there was no number of issues, but WLUFA feels "Normally, you ask for a concilia- Fusco said.

are an feels BOG, requesting University need for a conciliator," Fusco said. they have not yet had an opportuni- tor when negotiations at Because WLUFA that com- President Marsden like the Dr. Lorna with- WLUFA feels it must now focus ty to address their principal con- impass," Fusco said, "it's bring- munication with University has

draw her to the of in the before been Fusco asked to be request Ministry on legal implications rather than cerns contained proposals con- ing in heavy weapons you damaged,

Labour for conciliator who be collective The need to." able the Board of a is to bargaining. introduc- cerning benefits, pensions, and com- to speak to

meet- brought into faculty negotiations. tion of a conciliator brings about a pensation. At the Board of Governor's Governors.

that Dr. Marsden ignored the request, "new and chilly climate for negotia- "We haven't had that many ses- ing, Dr. Marsden said that the Fusco feels the University

and moved the for conciliator "mere- has of on to next Issue on tions"according to the WLUFA sions, a few items haven't been request a was, no real intention a lock out.

"When is concerned (he Board of Governors agenda. newsletter. negotiated, a couple are set aside. ly a means by which one can contin- everyone so „ it odd the "1 would have expected some Carleton, York, and Trent We haven't addressed the issues of ue negotiating." with money, seems that

and least board Universities have all in Fusco said. Fusco said that at a has committed to response, at one brought con- problem." turnout University spend- member ciliators. "We that other Dr. WLUFA the in fees." Fusco appeared as though they knew "Negotiations are going well," emergency meeting was ing money legal wanted to speak." Fusco said. Universities had applied for concilia- Marsden said. largest of all faculty meetings. said.

Students'

Union robbed

MELANIE SEAL burglars, "We have no idea why Lynn said that theopen door pol-

the "We're Cord News that floor was not hit," said Peter icy Ls affecting building.

much of the ()n Sunday, May 12, patrol officers Jorg, director of WLU Security. It's losing too building. deal from Wilfrid Laurier Security dis- posible someone was watching TV." Costs are escalating trying to

covered that Wilfs, the Turret and When asked how the incident with the vandalism and theft. It's

affect the of the but have the the Centre Spot were broken into. would security too bad, we to protect assets." Approximately $3800 in cash, 3 Student Union Building, Students' students and video amplifiers, lottery tickets, stamps Union President Joel Lynn said, "It's Security zones cam- WLUSU and bus tickets had been stolen. "It going to play an important part. eras are current measures the certainly points out that security is Security Ls a component of the bud- is considering. "At same time,

have to consider costs." an issue," said Tim Hranka, Wilfrid get. We're going to have to consider we security

Laurier Students' Union General accessibility of the building." When asked if he thought the

break-in inside Manager. The Student Union Building is was an job, Lynn The back doors to Wdfs and the currently unlocked twenty-four said, "I don't believe so. Someone HENSEL that students used crowbar and off the Turret had been broken into with hours a day, so are a ripped

what to able to use such as the doors." appears be a crowbar. resources

broke into areas of little MARION "The locks on those doors were Alumni lounge. "They

it to be rela- good quality standard deadbolts," Lynn said that the open door pol- value, appears simply a methodical 1 Iranka said. Damage to doors indi- icy of the Alumni lounge is "up for tively search, most likely PICTURE: Hranka cated forced entry into the Centre consideration". "None of other they were looking for cash."

for four said. Spot also. The incident occurred schools are open twenty Students' Union Turret safe found itself ravished staff in hours. Most hold the same hours as out a number of Money Hungry...The after 2 a.m., were present Lynn pointed thieves in search of cold hard cash. who not tiie Turret until that time. the University-this is something we people use the building are by

affiliated. The third floor was not hit by the will have to consider." Laurier The party's over, folks

will cost collected. Laurier students whohosted the individuals. "We foresaw lots of courses-our lawyer us MELANIE SEAL money was keg that the the decision was made thousands." Turner said Cord News The eight students involved have party said. "We had no idea the problems, so

to the before these have cost all who hosted the the been with of were stop event could charges April 20 was rumoured to be charged possession police coming." and emotion- The bust to be related to happen. We were concerned about party both financially next Ezra street party. After the liquor for sale, and offering liquor appears with the for sale. will in court the of an Ezra street cars, event on a busy street, ally. arrests from last year, a new student They appear possibility

12 hear- Turner said that it had been and fights." Upper Canada Brewing code of conduct, and police activity on June for a preliminary party. that the fell The Canadian Mounted whose kegs were confis- a to enter their "It was in organized so on Royal Company, on the street itself, Ezra was bust. ing plea. party Police still cated the went to the and down the violation of the license act." the same as a potential street are currently investigat- by police, Police patrolled up liquor night

the incident. crown to get them back. Though was said Staff Gould of the ing street in pairs, and activity min- Sergeant party. that it because we Under the newCode of Conduct, the Crown initially said Upper imal. Students walked along Ezra Waterloo Regional Police. "You can "We planned could have the back, sell wanted to do with Ezra the students have been to Canada kegs Street in wonder, looking for the have a keg party, but you can't nothing brought Their been able to "If Street." Tlirner said she had the Dean's Advisory Council. they have not as of yet party to begin. It didn't. tickets for the party." Gould said. hoped that this that the wouldbe an alter- actions will be reviewed by their obtain them. Turner says On the other side of university, at they want to get people together, keg party will have to the that's fine. native for students, rather than peers, and any disciplinary action most likely means they University and Albert, a large keg one guy buys keg "There's the street party. will be decided by the DAC. for them also. some- party hosted by eight Laurier stu- The problem is when an organiza- attending upon pay asked if the bust occurred "I don't think it's fair," Turner Turner said, at tion and When thing new everyday". dents was broken up by police buys twenty-five kegs don't how have "we're the best of it." The three advertises and sells tickets." because it fell on the same night as said, "I see they any making 8.30 p.m. approximated thatLaurier students Gould "It was to call me in there. Three Turner said hundred ticket holders had not yet The keg party bust came as a Ezra street, Sgt. said, right peo-

minds, however this ple than me are going to have been sympathetic. arrived when police confiscated the surprise to those who hosted it. certainly on our younger very decide what will to me." the next day offer- "We're bitter. We've had was a incident." happen "People came by twenty-five kegs of beer and twenty- two keg separate is we've had Gould said what motivated the "I think we've suffered enough," ing money, everyone on campus two 66 ounce bottles of liquor. The parties before, security "I can't take behind us." Connie one of the bust was the concern for safety for Turner said, summer two thousand dollars in ticket guards," Turner,

2 May 29, 1996 theCord (News) CTB renamed the DAWB

MELANIE SEAL donated a large book collection

Cord News of French art. "This would be a

for the In a ribbon cutting ceremony resource school to use,

held on May 28, the Central it would be very difficult to get

Teaching Building was officially these books today. The value of

renamed the "Dr. Alvin Woods the books is not only in their rar-

Building". Ron Woods, a busi- ity, but also in their accessibility."

from Laurier's Woods ness graduate hopes that these texts

donated $300,000 class of 1963, would help to improve a grow-

in his father's name for upgrad- ing Fine Arts program "I would

ing and renovating the building. like to see the Fine Arts courses

Woods said that he was blossom."

donate the motivated to money Woods has been looking for

because of his "love of Laurier", an area to donate funds for

and he added that "The money some time, "I've been working

is for renovations". with Lorna (Marsden) in

Many arts students will be fundraising, and the ability to

happy to see the renovations recognize my father." Woods

come to the Dr. Alvin Woods said he will continue to donate

have their Marsden Building, as they seen items to Laurier, "Dr. HENSEL colleagues enjoy a modern knows that this is not a one time

Peters Building and a "space deal". age" Science Building. MARION In addition to funding the The CTB went for the low, low upgrading of the Dr. Alvin price of $300,000. This buys PICTURE: Woods Building, Ron Woods some shiny new renovations.

Summer highlights of Bag o' Crime

Disturbance at the Cause very aggressive, barking offi- culty breathing ther investigation. stolen is estimated to be approxi-

and 0200 hrs Tue 16 Apr 96 cer vigorously pulling his leash Suspicious Person Harassment mately $12,000. Investigation con- of outside towards A report people shouting the officer. This individual 0205 hrs Thu 25 Apr 96 2045 hrs Wed 08 May 96 tinues.

little House residents. On had warned about A received from the disturbing been no dogs, complaint was a An incident was reported to Mischief Under $5000.00

the officer find used assist disabled resident of Conrad Hall arrival, could no one except dogs to reporting Security Department whereby one 1157 hrs Wed 15 May 96

about. allowed the build- persons, being in that an intoxicated male was bang- of the individuals in the above A resident of WLU apartments at

Person at 0430 Ill's and 0535 on her floor window. had returned the 209 that Suspicious ings again at ing ground occurrence to Regina reported an

1315 hrs Tue 16 96 hrs. Officers and searched the unknown caused to Apr responded Athletic Complex and approached person damage

Officers to a of a Theft Under $5000.00 with results. AC staff member and her vehicle beer bot- responded report area negative an verbally by throwing a

suspicious person in the Science 1230 hrs Sun 21 Apr 96 PD MVA harassed her. The matter is under de at it. No suspects.

custodial staff. A search Building by A report was received from a resi- 1645 hrs Mon 29 Apr 96 investigation. MischiefUnder $5000.00 made of the individ- was described dent of little House A Wing that he A minor property damage motor Unauthorized Soliciting 1450 hrs Sun 19May 96

ual with negative results. had observed a hand reach into liis vehicle accident which occurred in 1325 hrs Thu 09 May 96 While on routine patrol the duty offi-

Theft Under $5000.00 window and 4 CDs which lot 12 A male unknown remove was investigated individual was warned and cer found that person(s)

0200 hrs Wed 17 96 the window sill. I le Apr were on shouted Possession Narcotics escorted off WLU controlled proper- had entered University Stadium A received that the and report was fire the fled. 2330 hrs Sun 05 96 when he to suspect May ty attempted approach property and, using white spray

extinguisher from the 2nd floor Mischief under $5000.00 While officer and lines and on patrol, an came people sell them hair care ser- paint, painted graffiti on

lounge in MacDonald House was 0710 hrs Mon 22 96 Apr upon two youths smoking marijua- vice. the pavement area outside the con-

The was locat- A missing. extinguisher report was received that one of na at the rear of 232 King. The mar- Theft Under $5000.00 cession booth and on several doors.

ed later that morning on the front of the floor windows at seized and both 1840 ground ijuana was were hrs Thu 09 May 96 No suspects.

a residence on Spruce St. 1 louse had been kicked issued MacDonald trespass warnings. A WLU student reported the theft of Trespass Stolen Recovered in the Property during night. Trespass his jacket from the Athletic 2225 hrs Tues 21 May 96 0430 hrs Wed 17 96 Theft Under $5000.00 Mon Apr 1900 hrs 06 May 96 Complex. A non-university male was evicted

UofW Police two 1400 Mon reported finding hrs 22 Apr 96 Officers responded to a call for assis- Break, Enter & Theft from Bricker Residence when he

Seminary Parking lot signs on their A WLU student that his tance from reported Athletic Complex staff 0200-0800 hrs Sun 12 May 96 was found in one of the suite. A writ-

The signs were returned to wallet had been stolen from his with to campus. regard several non member While on patrol, officers discovered ten trespass notice was served. PP&P. unsecured locker in the mens' individuals who would not leave the that Wilfs and the Turret had been Mischief under $5000.00

Violation University Regulations change room at the Athletic premises when requested. broken into and some audio equip- 0600 hrs Sat 25 May 96

0600 hrs Fri 19 96 This incident Apr Complex. developed into a ment and a quantity of cash stolen. Person(s) unknown let the air out of

A WLU student was under Medical Assistance with the individu- charged verbal altercation Waterloo Regional Police a tire of a vehicle parked the securi- the Trespass To Act when 1055 hrs Wed 24 96 als Property Apr eventually leaving the premises. Identification Unit attended in an ty office.

he was located in the Student Union An ambulance summoned for All the involved was persons are being effort to obtain physical evidence One warning was issuedfor a liquor with Building his German Shepherd an individual on the 3rd floor of the issued written trespass notices. from the scene. violation during the period 20 May

At this time the became who was diffi- laid fur- dog. dog library experiencing Charges are being pending Total value of property and cash 96-26 May 96.

I I Cheap and Convenient! r 1

passport photo

Student Publications 1 Photo Department.

Only $7 your P j C |Ure goeg [, ere j

in Student Union 3rd Cord Offices you can find us the Building, floor,

theCord May 29,1996 3 (News)-

Library fixed with money to spare

ROB GLOVER two levels of the era] with the construction upper building, and problem

Cord at that time." News since there are less students during industry Dupuis also

that the After nine months of walking under the spring session, finding a quiet mentioned university looked

All at the lower two levels and found covered passages to avoid raining spot would be no problem. of no

and classes the look- there. concrete, getting to them, however, were eagerly problems fix the the long way around, the library build- ing forward to the day when they To problem, university

the last fall asked a number of ing will soon be fully accessible once didn't have to walk around to structur-

time al to look at the again. main entrance every they engineers building solution. One Since last September, when wanted to get to a classroom in the and propose a of the the pieces of the concrete panels that library. earliest was to remove concrete

circle the levels of the said there were several underneath the and to upper library Dupuis lip panels

of the crack- it with new began to fall, a wooden roofhas cov- factors for the problem replace a one, adding that ered the main entrance of the ing concrete. He cited "unique expansion joints so condensa- would be library to keep the building accessi- weather conditions", such as the tion not a problem. this would ble. Also, the university blocked unusually cold winters in recent However, proposal

both side doors the But he feels that water is .have cost the about access to to years. a university

of well this $300,000. Another upper level classrooms, as as more likely factor. "Generally, proposal, costing

the door to the lower level class- type of thing is caused by condensa- about one-tenth that, at about

would be the rooms. tion," he said. He went on to explain $40,000, to remove

and However, work to repair the how a lot of "freeze-thaw" cycles, concrete lip entirely replace it metal damage began only three weeks where moisture in the concrete dur- with flashing. Dupuis feels

ice at that the work should be finished ago. Ron Dupuis, the director of ing the day becomes night, aboutthe end of Physical Plant and Planning, offered expanding and creating cracks in May. This isn't the first time this kind two reasons for the delay. the concrete.

the two are affect- of problem had occurred. According One was the weather. By the Only top floors in the time tiie university had sent out ten- ed by cracking. Dupuis said that, to Dupuis, some cracking con-

the constructed in crete had occurred about six ders to fix the problem, and a con- since library was years

floors and some drilling and tractor was chosen, it was February stages, the upper two were ago, pinning

of the affected concrete done to "The weather [in February] was not constructed at a time considerably was

conducive", he said. later than the rest of the building. fix the problem then. However,

doesn't feel the will The other reason was the noise. "Those top two floors were con- Dupuis problem

Once the is the It as structed at when there some recur. flashing was felt that, the school year a time up,

with the recast two levels won't be raining was ending, and final exams were problems [concrete] upper

concrete. He said that the lower about to start, the noise of the con- industry, at least that's what we're

floors have also been examined for tractors working outside would not told by the engineers. Either the the and have be welcome by students working on mix, or the method they were using same problems, of for "If to fabricate these shown no cracking. essays or studying exams. panels was a gen- signs

distraction noise in there was any or

the would bother stu- process, it

dents working in the library, so we

waited until exams were over."

Fortunately, none of die students

interviewed while leaving library

had a problem with the noise. One

student thought the reason that the

noise was no problem was that the

workers were working only on the HENSEL

It's a bird, it's a plane... ifs the MARION Scaffolding Men PICTURE:

GET INVOLVED! New Omnibus

Student Services

Fee Committee

MELANIE SEAL heard. Keystone Cord News Joel Lynn, Wilfrid Laurier

Members of the newly formed Students' Union President showed

the the of Advisory Committee on concern for representation how Editor In Chief Compulsory Ancillary fees met on students, and an ability to voice their in the Student Services May 17 to create and organize a money

mandate. The committee, com- Omnibus Fee was spent. looking to

posed of 50% Student Services the future of student representation

and student Department heads and 50% student services, Lynn said,

representation hopes to have its "I'm worried thatif there is any cab-

mandate in place by October of inet shuffle there is still appropriate

1996. student representation on this com-

Dean Nichols, who chaired the mittee."

adamant about the The committee decided to meet meeting, was the representation of student voice with formally three times in year to of student regard to the spending of Student discuss the expenditures

Services Fees. "I don't care how services fees, and it was agreed that

students the committee should con- many we have, as long as advisory

communication and contact we have adequate student repre- tinue this sentation," Nichols said. The over email. "It is necessary that

Committee agreed to have six stu- committee work to facilitate com-

dents and six Department heads. munication between student ser-

Other students will be invited to the vices department heads and stu-

that their Dr. Dale of meeting "ex officio", so dents," Fogel Counselling

can be Services said. opinions on various cases

4 May 29, 1996 theCord -(News) Feeling exploited?

for fact have half-assed, and tell Students are hired for the jobs boss. grateful the you really yourself is it for the TOM HRUBES that regular, full-time people are too Let's face the facts, you're proba- employment. Resume building a you're just doing money,

Commentary the land to then for the work- Cord News smart to do, they are ultimate in bly not going to a meaningful good thing, having enough money you are ready

thousands of students labour. for months. should be for school in the fall is a better force. In the event a job Every year disposable As a student I've job only 4 You pay you get you

the the When are that then flood into summer job market run gamut in dingy, crap- thing. you com- ever get a job you enjoy

for work. will This the in mar- will be able to cherish it even looking Many suc- py jobs. year job peting today's job you

will fail, will fairies have ket, much like Ricki Lake, more. ceed, some some just rewarded my suf-

to have standards. Besides, students have a forget the whole thing and fly fering through a glorious, you no major

Tahiti. For those of us lucky enough cushy government job. I have Working at a hell job helps advantage over the regular work-

most build character. force. know that in 4 months to find work, of us will be my own air conditioned you They

If show time will back to school. We unlucky enough to get jobs they office, an undefined job you can they go

at do it won'tbe in deadend hate. description, and an absentee up a job you hate, trapped a job.

LORI DYSIEVICK in classes educated co-op programs are having upgraded night yet employees.

Cord News Commentary difficulty finding jobs in spite and the advantage of Full time employment is hard

Canadian of the themselves for that Across the country, uni- assistance of their co- offering a enough to find, meaning few

all students will about the versity students are singing the op employment officers. permanent position. complain

it's about students have these factors workload of a as a same tune, the woes of Many to use Combined, job long as pay-

jl® 1 J unemployment. For those who were their own personal resources to find are making the job market check comes in.

to find at all, and often the which for Canadian will continue to take 'fortunate' enough employ- a job jobs stu- nepotism through many stu- unfriendly university Employers students the least. of the of ment for the summer, congratula- dents end up finding are not in their dents, (yours truly included) obtain to say advantage position then of the students tions is order in more ways field study. Students in this posi- their summer jobs. Unfortunately, Not only are opportunities desparate summer as they

few cush- one. tion find that they are needlessly for those students who have few bleak once we graduate with our compete for one of the

availible. While some people (Ah hmm, paying for quality employment family ties and friends in high places degrees but we can't even use them ioned summer jobs with the Tom) are pretending to work for the experience which they are not the competition for summer to get a job for four months. Even However possibility of

at the of the of difficult. Students for those who do end dishes, Macs government expense our receiving, defeating purpose a employment is worse, up get- washing making Big or

overburdened to mature real students will already taxpayers, co-op program. have compete with the ting summer jobs, budget cuts telemarketing looming

continue to overbur- easy summer jobs are few and far The "personal resources' segment of the population who have and some opportunistic, employers accept any

that their between. Even students in university referred to earlier is the network of employment experience, skills are adding responsibility to cheap, dened position comes way.

Cord News

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theCord May 29,1996 5 OPINION

Editorial

You can learn it, you can think it,

just don't you dare say it

the Cord SUMMER EDITION

The Administration, when trying to remove the Valedictorian address from the Convocation ceremony, acted like a

The has educated and nurtured still it is if distrusting parent. University us us to maturity, yet not sure we are for ourselves. end ready to speak This spring, the University tried to bring to an a Convocation tradition.

students told not of the that be felt that jjwmsp^ Graduating were they may have a Valedictorian address. Some powers last year's address was in poor taste.

is The Valedictorian the voice of the graduating class, offering reflection and insight. At a recent University A Laurier StudentPublication Wilfrid University Senate meeting, it was argued that the Convocation ceremony was not only for the graduates, it is for the university.

Let this I at me get straight: pay the University my blood, sweat, tears and hard earned dollars so that the conclu- 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 sion of I to which will further to the (519) 884-2990 my degree can go an "assembly" only bring recognition University?

Fax: (519) 884-5596 I suppose I came to Laurier as an idealist. I believed that the ultimate goal of the University was to educate the

884-5092 individual, to feed the to nurture and that to their I believed that Advertising: (519) mind, encourage person pursue goals. a

University's greatness was measuredin the quality of the graduates it produced, not thepomp and circumstance of

its ceremonies.

but what are do?" As it turns the Valedictorians allowed to their words. For another convocation at stu- "Yeah, you gonna out, spring are say least, dents safe. hear The are They can reflections from a peer, from a colleague, from a friend. grad commitee should

— be for and their of Homer Simpson recognized their efforts, awareness ofthe importance a Valedictorian.

the think for Upon graduation, I would like to think that this wonderfiil institution has given me tools to myself,

the and to to and and the to character strength endure hard times, the wisdom judge right wrong ability express

beliefs and If what the leav- Editorial Board my opinions. the University takes away the Valedictorian's speech, is message they are

ing us with? Editor-in-Chief Melanie Seal I to realize the of the Valedictorian: the of stu- Educators, urge you importance importance allowing us, your News Editor Tom Hrubes to voices. have to think for have to endure difficult times and dents, use our You taught us ourselves, you taught us Associate News Editor Lori Dysievick have the wisdom to Don't take from this to ourselves. you given us judge. away gift by restricting our ability express Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter It is we, the graduates, the products of louderwhomake the University's reputation truly great. Assistant Entertainment Editor Robin Whittaker

Greg Chownyk Sports Editor Editorial by Melanie Seal, Editor-in-Chief those the Cord the edito- Assistant Sports Editor Jim Donnelly The opinions expressed in this editorialare those ofthe author, and do not necessarily reflect of Staff, rial board, or Wilfrid Laurier University StudentPublications. Features Editor Ann-Marie Smith

Student Life Editor Ann Huskinson

Production Manager Mike Vencel 530 people (I know because I was working the door).

Cord Staff Not capacity but a good mix and a good time. Sure there

was lots of U. of W. kids here but I knew a ton ofpeople. Production Assistants Tina Tarn

Last week, not so good. I believe however that it was Kathy Cawsey due to the impending long weekend and the overtime Classified Coordinator Vacant Letters hockey (Go Panthers!). What inevitably happens Copy Editors Vacant game at here: word around that the International Coordinator Vacant happened got

Turret was dead. Student Publications Staff To the Editor I don't understand what the hell goes through the

Hensel minds of the students here at Laurier. You wouldn't Photo Manager Marion I walk in the bar this Photo Technican Steve Williams believe how many people saw to

week, not lot of and bail. Just for kicks, Art Director Jeremy Kerr Dear Editor, see a people just

I counted how One hundred and Systems Administrator John Malkovich am writing this letter because of my concern with the we many: 150. fifty.

of here at state that? These bars and cen- Web Slinger Andrew White status the on-campus bars Laurier. To Why is are your your profit

will little tres. These for student Advertising Manager Robert Norris my problem I begin with a story. places pay your government, Once about student safe walk Ad Sales Representive Vacant upon a time, September 1992, a little your activities, your insurance, your

Dannielle Chartrahd froshie named this fair institution look- home. time Ad Production Manager Bruno came to Hell, every you drink, you are paying your-

Vacant for education with with it. And self... It's a student's dream! Ad Production Assistant ing an a good party to go wet Robinson who walked here Atheletics Advertising Manager Pete find it he did....every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and If every person in stayed, pretty look and then even Saturday night... at Wilfs and the Turret. soon it wouldn't so empty people would Administration yes, While not to he could line for the Turret like the school I every night was busy capacity, up just during year.

President Laurie Legault rest that should he want to for a also know of students this easy knowing go pint many you Co-Op are reading of Kevin MacDonald don't I'm the VP Finance with his buddies, he could do so just by walking out of right now saying, "I care, not here to reap

David Janzen Union." don't have to VP of Operations his dorm room and into the Student Union Building. benefits of the Student I say, you Vacant Public Relation As the to and Third it look that far. Think back to the First and Second Year. Manager years progressed Second year, Board of Directors Shane Lidkea Where else could where walked in and with- seems the bars did not do so well. Some said it was the you go you Jen Clarke Beth Costelec sick of the in the first minutes saw a music, some said they were same-old, same- two you gazillion people you Lock Christine said that too students knew? also be but Lanthier, Gergich Ryan old, some many Honours were you might saying, "yeah,

Domenico Magisano a because make admitted and were more concerned with their studies, you have stake in it that's how you your

but 5$ some said that the recession made it harder to party all money." True enough, making $6.75/hour plus a

bars at the end of the is fortune. I work here the time. After a while no one went to the campus tip night no

at all. because it is fun. I love walking into the bar and seeing

The Cord will not print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, as deemed by the staff as a voting different. ton of friends here a time. However, this year was New management a my having good body. The Cord will not print anything in violation of its Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cora are $15.00 term for within $18.00 for the a new combined formats If aren't here because think subscription rates per addresses Canada, and outside country. The Cord and building, with new spelled you coming up you is printed by CanWeb Printing. The Cord is a member of Canadian Press. All commentary is strictly the University The is with the bar then walk the the most successful profits the bars had ever seen. something wrong up to opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of the Cord staff, the editorial board, or WLU €> 1994 by WLU Student Publications, 75 Avenue Ontario N2L the Student Union and a SU exec Publications. Copyright University West, Waterloo, Turret more than doubled last years' sales in first grab pub manager or 3C5. bar, semester alone. As well., the top seven most profitable member and TELL THEM! Remember, it is your

Contributors: Erin David "George" Popovich, Wendy's Satan Combos, Duke lot hard work in the Keating, nights were this year...due to a of your money, your good times, your university experi- McKenzie, Scott Stinson, Laurie Nicholls, Tara Konowalchuk, Jamie Schouela, Liz from both in the ence. how a week to marketing department aspect exec Besides, many nights can you go Hastinigs, Rob Glover, David Duchovnv, Charlene Lacelle, Lily Pharmaceuticals: union and the I>ub Staff. Louie's anyway? Makers of Prozac, Pete Robinson, Graboa Jabba, "Production" Paul McLean, Dave Brent Peter Lanthier Kerth, Gino's and 7-11 for those late brain And now summer is here. May 9, Opening night, Pizza, making night, freezing Swamp , Water Slurpees.

Stay tuned for more action packed Letters Policy adventure with • All letters must be signed and submitted with the author's name, student your on-campus superhero, identification numberand telephone number.

• All letters will be printed with the author's name. letters can be printed the withoutthe author's name only by permission ofthe Editor-in-Chief friendly neighbourhood Cord,

• Letters must be received by Hiesday at noon for publication in that

week's issue, in print, on disk, or via e-maii to: 22cord@mach1 .wlu.ca web its into • hands, Letters that are submitted on disk or via e-mail must be accompanied by slinging way your

a signed hard copy.

• Letters must be typed, double spaced, and cannot exceed 500 words.

• The Cord reserves the right to edit letter. Spelling and grammar will * any s not be corrected. 31 • Cord the to letter whole in that is The reserves right reject any in or part, July in violation ofexisting Cord policies.

6 May 29, 1996 theCord STUDENTLIFE Canada Employment Centre for Students opens its doors

MELANIE SEAL

CORD STUDENT LIFE

On Friday, May 24, the Canada Employment Centre

Students held ribbon to For a cutting ceremony cele-

brate its official opening. Local politicians and com-

munity leaders were on hand to mingle with stu-

dents and staff.

The Employment Centre for Students is located

at 29 King St. E.. Kitchener, in the Market

Promenade Mall. Employment Centres for students

have been linking; employers arid students seeking

summer employment since 1971. offered from r Jobs range nannying. Research and

Development assistants. Field Assistants. Program

assistants to Factors- and Warehouse work. Last

year, the Kitchener employment centre filled 1396 positions. Currently, the centre is forty placements

ahead of applicants.

"We're better than on target," Dave Locky,

Student Hmployment Officer in Kitchener's centre

said, "the Federal WLUSU Health Plan programs have really helped." When asked why employers are drawn to post job

opportunities at the employment centre i .jocky said,

'"{"here's such a concentration of post secondary stu-

Coverage tip of the Month dents in this area, it's free for employee to and post,

students arc our target clients." HENSEL CHARLENE LACELLE Cord Student Life 9 Traveling \ nt MARION PICTURE: csssSfessa-Z r available \osistance. . Best Buddies chapter to

occ" Ass®®"* cV th Pla" ergen HeaI vovage come to Laurier

wnta o^fll£o» MELANIE SEAL friendships, integrating the mentally

81 - SSSSSSi- CORD STUDENT LIFE challenged into society. Best Buddies, an organization found- Many organizations like Big

ed in United has slated the States, Brothers and Big Sisters do not accept

Laurier as a home for its with of possible anyone any type disability. newest chapters. Shriver told People magazine, "Part of

Created mission is it Student Budget Menu by Anthony Kennedy our to make so people

to Shriver (nephew Rosemary won't stare, so when you go down-

Kennedy) the organization works to town or into church, they're used to Dijon Herb Chicken match university students in one-to- having people with mental retarda- Thighs one with with tion there." friendships people in

developmental disabilities. The organization's ultimate goal is LYNN PAULI First created in 1989, the organi- to make Best Buddies obsolete, Cord Student Life zation boasts over 185 chapters and "Hopefully people will just start hav-

8,000 volunteers in the United States, ing these friendships naturally," 3 tablespoons light mayonnaise Greece, India and Canada. It has Shriver said. Individuals with devel- 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard gained the support of celebrities such opmental disabilities don't have the 1 lemon tablespoon juice as Shaquille O'Neal, Roy Lichtenstein opportunity to make friends outside of 1 teaspoon each (fried parsley, basil, oregano and Giorgio Armani, who have their environment, often causing 1/2 teaspoon granulated garlic appeared in advertising segments for them to feel isolated and lonely. 2 cups crushed cornflakes Best Buddies. Best Buddies strives to change 1/4 black teaspoon pepper The first Canadian chapter of this societal attitudes about people with 8 chicken thighs non-profit organization was founded developmental disabilities. By partici-

at York University. Its founder, Sheryl pating in recreational activities, close in a shallow dish, stir mustard, lemon and together mayonnaise, Gibson, said that awareness friendships are formed. juice, parsley, basil, and interest deal the oregano garlick. picked up a good in Ten universities have been target-

of the the York ed start course three years for up of Best Buddies chap- In a well sealed said crush plastic bag using a rolling pin, corn chapter has been running. ters in the fall of 1996. Involvement flakes to make fine crumbs. In a separate shallow dish, comhine Gibson said the chapter organized as a Best Buddies volunteer is not a crumbs and Mack pepper. a variety of events including bowling, great demand on personal time, with

week tele- Raptors games, movies, renting contact at least once a by Skin chicken each into mixture and thighs. Dip thigh mayonnaise videos going to the zoo. "I heard phone and one-to-one outings about first and then into crunib to coat. about mixture,rolling it going on in the states and I two to three times a month.

it thought was a really positive project If you are interested in being

Place thighs on bake in a 375 F (190 CO to do," Gibson said. greased baking sheet; Laurier's Campus Director or are oven for 30 to 35 minute or until Juices run clear when chicken Shriver's mother was the origina- interested in helping found a chapter is pierced with fork. of a PHOTO tor the concept of the Special of Best Buddies in September, please He Olympics. saw a need for found- Heather Johnston at (416) RUE phone BmAppetit' ing the organization and creating 967-9215.

theCord May 29, 1996 7 FEATURE Ways to spend your summer days

Sittin' beside the pool

- the all LAURIE NICHOLLS the eighties Oh WhatA Feeling! facility, pre- or early-teens,

for habitual Boredom Cord Features After halfan hour to myself a are smokers.

list should've led Flopping down on a chair in front of bite to eat, the next word on the them to the ball park

the for instead of down- television, putting my feet up for is 'inspiring'. So many young people a game or two,

the first time, but looking at the giving more than what they've got in town to find someone old enough

to clock for about the millionth time in the name of fun.... (but in our eyes, (and careless enough) buy ciga-

I to their rettes them. The end the the day, sigh. Nine-thirty p.m. it's a great way improve for of day

distinct - "How was your day?" Mom sings skills). The next three hours are always brings one feeling

from the kitchen. "Fine," I mumble, nothing short of 'scorching'. Paying 'relief. Another twelve hours, acci-

dent-free. too drained for anything close to a attention, a major requirement on

tad bit Sometimes than sentence. However, 'fine' is probably the job, becomes a difficult you get more

the would with and sometimes it's last term I normally use sunscreen-filled perspiration you bargain for,

all it's to be. But to describe the day that is finally stinging your eyes. not cracked up

less than the coming to an end. Several words 'Interesting' adequate- through early morning swims,

should have easily defeated it, ly describes the next two hours. swimming lessons, swim-team prac-

off first. it's the term which afternoon swims, rolling my tongue However, only tices, open family

and I 'Unbelievable' would be the even comes close to having the swims, evening open swims,

the of families maintain that word that describes how my day capacity to peg gamut being a lifeguard/ is indeed commences. It's unreal, the amount who visit us during this time. swimming instructor a

final hours of people who are willing to arise The two of the day 'fine'job.

that early and subject themselves are nothing short of 'discouraging. I'm sure most of you, lifeguards

to that with on! the kids who to would temperature, so little Too many of come or not, concur.

four hours of the HENSEL The next day war- rant the labels of both 'exhausting' Doin' it on the

and 'gratifying'. Attempting to teach

MARION young people things which seem grounds second nature to even myself can be PICTURE: trying. But when it all comes togeth- er, I feel like a Pontiac owner from

TARA KONOWALCHUK Balderdash to the Crew but I was

ath- On the road with the Mix Cord Features denied. Alas, we are true "card Hundreds of students apply each letes" and we challenge anyone to a the of summer for jobs on Laurier game Uno.

a Just few I'd like men- campus. Although there are vari- a things to

video concert that to most tion all those around JAMIE SCHOUELA sively at the station. My store any comes town, ety of positions available, the to staying

and often have the is that of for the Cord Features days were over. opportunity to popular one probably laurier summer. My biggest

and rock'n'roll. This This boss called meet stars themselves. Last for the has to be those Sex, drugs, past March, my the Groundskeeper Physical pet peeve people

not description oflife in the radio indus- and told me that the summer plans summer, I met David Schwimmer Plant and Planning Department. who do use the outdoor ash

than and who both hired for this Aaaaaccckkkk! try is more myth reality. were falling into place. They want- Richard Lewis, were When you are job trays on campus.

ed work in for the annual "Just for become member of the Just so there are Actually, things are a lot more simi- me to full time on salary. town you a you're aware,

festival. So this Grounds Crew which who have those lar to an episode of WKRP in My main job, which officially starts Laughs" far summer Laurier people to sweep up

students each butts left scat- Cincinnati. A bunch of people come in June, is to drive the "Mix prize I've had lunch with Toronto natives employs four sum- Itty-bitty cigarette maintain tered rocks and to work everyday, most dressed patrol" truck. It entails picking three Bass is Base, and believe it or not, mer to help a clean earn* among grass, pave- ment. very casually, and have a lot of fun. spots around Montreal each week- ( Shania Twain. I have the ■ Pteas©, please respect your

mJ This is second with Grounds Crew and I've discovered this by having the day, calling in on the air, and [ autograph picture to my summer put your clg

where she doesn't and tell butts the ash The summer opportunity over the last two sum- telling people ' fjf prove it. Guys, the grounds Crew let roe in trays.

The all and wiS oh smoother for all mers to work at Mix 96 Radio in I am. fJa disappoint in person. you, it's not tans sun go so more of Thank Montreal. Everybody bathing! us, you.

that don't Another to mention (now Mix 96 is a "top-forty" flf always tells me I Now getme wrong, our job thing

includes duties: that I have this wonderful in format station, number II have the best summer many glamorous space 9 the would be the issue of one in the English mt job, and trust me, I appre- collecting garbage, cutting grass, Cord]

ir first I must market, whose slogan B ciate it. Now that I have all raking leaves, picking garbage, GARBAGE. Now, admit, the this to is "Today's hits and pP* this 'power', people are moving offices on campus, deliver- grounds summer seem _

ask for various articles be little cleaner than last yesterday's classics". starting to me ing to different staying a

P® free stuff when I least and summer. Most of you may be expect departments, whlpper-snipping

barber favourite - The items wo find more familiar with its it. The other day, my ray personal sweeping most popular

sister station, Mix 99.9 in asked me to get her tickets to an cigarette butts! when we go picking garbage are

concert Sauce and Toronto. Both are owned by i first few to find upcoming Celine Dion There are the odd special Taco Bell Hot packages

sold out for months. such cartons. There are the Standard Radio, and play me get whatever prizes we which has been assignments as scooping up cigarette

the sort of to be that She her business dead animals dead cats), and few treasures that we find like basically same happen giving away on even gave me dike card. I've been there of the socks and condoms..... music. day. Most often they are things like going for ten picking cardboard out "regu* underwear, is Last I started at Mix movie concert tickets. and I've never her lar and hmmm...... someonesomewhere summer, as passes or years gotten garbage" "newspaper only" business card before! I do movie bins. these vital articles. The bot- a volunteer. Although I had no real Besides the prize patrol, 1 help get missing

for real friends, take Did know that can be tom line is: Please contacts at the station, I managed to organize and run movie premieres, passes my or you you put your garbage

to fined if card- in the set-up a meeting with the remotes at various restaurants, one of them along with me a con- you are caught putting garbage cans on campus. be able I little Promotions Director. I explained concerts sponsored by the station cert. Actually, I love to to board in the wrong garbage bin? hope this has described a

in A% work the hour erf about what the Grounds Crew does that I was a Communications (which this summer includes Blue share my good fortune. start at wee

7:00 AM and finish 3:30 around if at Studies student from Laurier who Rodeo, Sarah McLaughlin, and I know that I have a great sum- we at FM campus. So, you're

home for the and Alanis and various and I love minute of Since it's hour work Laurier this and see was summer, Morrisette), mer job, every a long eight summer you

If are a vacation to five a week, of us with lawn mower really wanted to get my feet wet in other events. The variety of the it. you planning day, days every day we one a green

Montreal this make look forward to our breaks. Lunch and bin to tie radio. He offered me an intern spot work makes it interesting, and lets summer, sure or pushing a cart

and watch Blue radio dial to 95.9 fin, Itme and a few of Una! ash don't be afraid to on his promotions team I start- face it, getting paid to you tune your good games next tray,

take. and listen for the I'd love We've to "Hi". ed helping out at some concerts and Rodeo isn't all thathard to prize guy. developed quite a liking smile and say

stuff fellow this and various other other events. By August, I was get- The fringe benefits are also to give some out to game card Because we're your friendly tickets for students. I ting paid and working almost exclu- amazing. I have access to Laurier games. once tried to introduce Laurier grounds Crewit

8 May 29,1996 theCord -(Feature)

A "pruning" experience Ifs

Waiting tablesfor the snooty in Stratford It's

LIZ HASTINGS and "downs". On it's favourite "Ups" a positive level, a My customers are the ones who

Cord Features make great way to incredible amounts of create their own menu. Last summer I served IRflSdn) client if Asking a they would prefer a glass of (to save for and who money school), occasionally a couple after quickly glancing at our

or beaujolais to their mix the to bubbly begin dining spiciest Bloody Mary known man to lunch menu, ordered two omelettes. Of course the experience, is I have spent the past serve to the customer who It's way insists on address- we've never listed omelettes as a menu item,

summers. Thecity of Stratford has a hid- "Psst eight ing you as Miss" yet they could not under- treasure appropriately "The Old den named or "Excuse Me... Fve seen the stand why they couldn't Cord Prune" restaurant. It has served as a Server training Girl". These order whatever they for the 19 Festival ground past seasons for our are the people who finest in hair wanted. staff, dining room teaching the appreciation of always receive In this business

fine cuisine, kLssing-up and how to inform a receive my upmost I've seen the finest in hair

businessman with his "niece" that his attention and pieces, wigs dining highest pieces, wigs and weaves.

wife has arrived with her co-workers. service. Writers just quality Ya I've even watched two

These skills are mastered and very quickly and right. weaves elderly ladies fill their

appropriately paid minimum Of this with wage. course, purses our specialty needed Waiting tables in establishment has its also teaches the of the rich. rock any industry language candy sugar. Is Tap water naturally referred to as "Chateau Other Laurier students who have been

La Tap" or "Eau de Stratford". These are also seduced by this business should be saluted. It's the same people who insist that all sauces be tiring spending day after day with blistered

An served on the side, red wine be feet, calves, stomach and unemployed an expensive aching empty

served ice cold and be student espresso pronounced occasionally having to explain why a

and decaf wliich expresso ordered completely so young would ever be referred to as an "Old

defeats the purpose! Prune".

student's I Let your rant

ANDREW WHITE Cord Features I driver be About one month ago, the of three designated prospect

weeks spent doing nothing would have ■ ''' ; seemed like a dream come true. Now I've agasaKjagi •■ * -w

had those three weeks and I am HJH * - praying for -*' .:■ .-■-•■•' Igg ' ■ B| 'ma

its end. At last count no fewer than two

fln v*- ■ * » SB hb ;9a 88 ~ ■ 5%; "•£" • asf * . . Bj& dozen had been out of B? ■ Sag resumes spat my '. - •■ .|H . pfe* j r|g .

printer and the same number have been

emailed around southern Ontario.

Days are spent reading newspapers and I

the can.jobs, ont.jobs and kw.jobs news

and groups nights are spent playing card * games or going to places without cover (that's ■

right, we have no television). I'm starting to

feel like something out of a Douglas Coupland novel. H ■ " I remember when I used to read about

the disposable work force, people who temp ■ JHP^

# for and * a living, think "I couldn't live like '*»'￿:* * * ■■ « * ® _ * that." Now two temp agencies have my ■ ' ￿

resume. If worse comes to worse, I'll apply

for the graveyard shift at Superßurger in

Shelburne. Last year I was employed in information technology.

in My days Waterloo may be numbered. Unless I find ajob 500n...

Those of you out there with jobs, count

your blessings. Those of you with jobs you like, go right now and kiss your mother for

under birthing you the right stars. Because,

man, the employers just aren't biting.

. ■

I Take the Route 7D U of W

■ h*"'' ../*-""• v., ~£. . .. .7 „ • . ' v'~;V.'.-..•" I home Thursday, Friday

I & Saturday evenings,

I TI IC last bus departs the Transportation Centre

I i&SS ili 12:40 am and then travels via Ontaru! St. to HENSEL I iPf 011 St- to the "University of Waterloo. MARION PICTURE: I Kevin MacDonald, VP: Finance for BE RESPONSIBLE—DON'T DRINK & DRIVE his WLUSP, spends summer days dispatchingfor WtU Security.

theCord May 29.1996 9 SPORTS

Laurier to host

Churchill Bowl

PETE ROBINSON and U of T are the only other conditions.

Cord Sports schools that have facilities big A national telecast by TSN will

Laurier is to host the host the gearing up enough to game. However, showcase the stadium across the

second football in Western J.W. Little Stadium does biggest game s country next November.

next not have University football year. lights and U of T is smack Laurier s brain thrust behind the

The Churchill Bowl will be held dab in the middle of the apathetic event, Athletic Director Rich at University Stadium Nov. 16. The Toronto market. Newbrough and Stadium Co-ordi-

game will pit the OUAA Champion These two factors made Laurier nators Joe Brazeau and Roly the Canada West the choice. versus Champion, automatic Webster appear to have a major

with the winner set to take on the The decision, combined with a factor working in their favor. The

Atlantic Bowl in the of other events in the OUAA team will be of Champion couple past, very likely one

Vanier Cup two weeks later at have made the decision to put turf Western, Waterloo or Laurier. With

Skydome in Toronto. The event in the stadium (then known as two of those teams being "home"

to Laurier of the two teams and the third came as part Seagram Stadium) years ago only 45 minutes

CIAU's to hold the look brilliant. in the of arrangement away London, anticipation

Churchill Bowl at various sites over The facility has been host to the a large crowd is very well-founded.

the last several two years. past Yates Cup's and both If the event is a success the CIAU

the held at Last year game was games served as living proof as to may look to put the event here per-

the home of the Canada West the value of the turf. With driving manently, much like the Atlantic

down Champions, Calgary Dinosaurs. rain beating and the weather Bowl is in Halifax every year.

With the OUAAs it being turn to hovering just above zero, Laurier s The Laurier Golden Hawks hope the virtual able host event, was a new facility was to keep the to play at home in this year's shoe-in to win the honor. Western played in relatively playable game Churchill Bowl.

Panthers consistent in playoffs

find GREG CHOWNYK eyebrows. the most part, the Panthers goal too many first year defencemen get you'll be hard pressed to any

Sports '[he Panthers made of has been out and much ice time in the real Cord are up a scoring spread as playofls as superstsars.

fans shouldn't be of and the of and these have Teamed Florida is the done Hockey really sur- couple up-and-coming stars a slight slumps Mellanby guys gotten. getting job of foot soldiers and prised as to what the Florida large number of career under- Niedermayer haven't hurt the team with veterans Terry Carkner and with a bunch

and if Panthers are doing in this years' achieves who have bonded togeth- too much. Gord Murphy, the Panthers are unproven rookies, things were

the playoffs, but instead should be taken er under the guidance of rookie On the blueline, the Panthers more thansolid on theblueline. to happen way they should, back by who is doing it. coach Doug MacLean. have been led by a solid combina- Perhaps the only real superstar these guys would have been golfing

of and Ed that Florida boasts is time After New Jersey's playoff romp Up front, Scott Mellanby and Rob tion rookies veterans. goaltender a long ago.

of the his rookie has John Vanbeisbrouck. The "Bee/er" will defi- last season, the boring and defen- Niedermayer supplied most Jovanovski, in year, Getting past Pittsburgh that now to unbeatable these be a but should sive oriented style of play is offence for Florida during the regu- been spectacular and managed has been almost nitely challenge,

and have saved the team this mix of very familiar with hockey fans. The lar season. get in Eric Lindros' face quite a bit playoffs a happen, strange players

when will make the Panthers have managed to perfectly However, their offensive produc- as well as see time on the power- few times they have slipped definitely Stanley Cup

defensive Without duplicate New Jersey's style, and tion has declined during the playofls play. He has been a success at play- into some lapses. final interesting. bonded that execut- and like Dave Stu the role Scott Stevens for a doubt he has been the The "Rat Pack" has many believe they are guys Lowry, ing played playoff

and will be the to like other and if ing it even better. Barnes, and Bill Lindsay have the Devils last year. M.V.P. key any together no squad

Rhett future their success continues, dare we The style of play is nothing new, stepped up their goal production. Another rookie, Warriner success. say for their look that will be but it's the group of players achiev- These are guys who were written off has been taking a regular shift and Except goalie, up Lord Stanley's Cup

Panthers roster and the the beach. ing this success that are raising the a long time ago in this league. For is quietly getting his job done. Not and down the spending summer on

Leafs down but not out

of the Leafs not that when he wants to be. A bit JIM DONNELLY hard at work trying to figure out are bad news for any team, but even really are badly any benefit the Sports riddled with size on the would Cord what exactly went wrong. He spent worse for one as many off. wings

of Ixafs The team's The has been team to take the strain Ahh, the lazy days summer. The good money, quite a lot of it actually, holes as the have. pitiful defence immensely,

the flowers but and anchored the 26 off of the weather-worn Gilmour sun is out, have blos- to assemble the present I.eaf squad, offence is respectable aging by year-old

do Mathieu of the and somed, and leaves are on the trees. only to be denied playoff glory by overpaid. What are they going to Schneider, one top concussion-prone Gagner.

Kinda makes think of. hock- Toronto's second when Wendel five defencemen in the With Sundin front, Schneider you pathetic showing Doug Gilmour, Clark, league up reliable Mike Gartner and to With a of behind and the always ev. in as many years. Dave Gagner according some. couple

the full doesn't take decide call defence- Potvin between the the Maple Yes, NHL playofls are in It a genius to pin- to it quits in a couple of moves to get inconspicuous pipes, to for the team's The with skill instead of Leafs have a base to add swing and,- unfortunately some, point problems. years? men paying good

aren't in still much worrisome the to their the Toronto Maple Leafs coaching situation is very Tilings get even more through nose get a big name during rebuilding process.

the Leafs have fall- the back the blueline. The teafn's who is his the fate of the team lies them. This year up in air, with names from assis- at player past prime, Really,

instead of coach Mike Kitchen defence and Fletcher could have his where it has been, in the en in spring autumn, tant to present is, in a word, terrible defence always

fans to call for radical Avalanche coach Crawford heroics of netminder Felix back to snuff. hands of Cliff Fletcher. causing many Marc only the corps up If he the foolish notion out of changes. This could be, however, circulating the rumour mill. It will Potvin kept them in some games. The team s offence is still capable gets

that will have to take lot to outdo the The factor do the formidable assault, his head that some minor tinkering something Leaf fans a or even equal age actually may of delivering a his team used for while. Pat the favor in this if it is on in here and there will land get to a departed Burns, despite con- Leafs a department. even getting alarmingly back the final four and begins the Even though Toronto's season siderable lack of success they Fletcher may be forced to get rid of years. Rookies such a Todd in

will Leaf fans won't have died in St. Louis weeks ago, Cliff endured during the latter part of some of the buffoons he takes for Warriner and Brandon Convery rebuilding now,

ofsheer and Mats to wait until their team is com- Fletcher and his merry band of Burns' reign. defencemen out necessity. only get better with age, long

read The team's As as this Sundin is once henchmen are, as you this, coaching problems disparaging sounds, as good a core player as petitive again.

10 May 29, 1996 theCord [Sports) Toronto Blue Jays hold their own

SCOTT STINSON team infield to Other immensely. potential. an single a guy smacking Major League Notes: Sports Cord The fifth is If Bill ball all the with • Montreal's spot currently held by free agent signee Risley the over park an Felipe Alou is long

It could be worse. After about a Frank the Boston Red back the dis- around .300. overdue for Viola, late of can come strong off average hovering some sort of recogni-

month and a half of baseball, the Sox and former winner abled will have solid Cy Young list, the 'pen a Apparently, Ed Sprague looked up tion. He has had to witness the

Toronto Blue are with the Minnesota Twins. "Sweet Cito: Jays bordering on core ofshort relievers. Memo to and down the bench this year and departure of stars like Marquis

the ugli- Music" is not the same dominant If to noticed he respectable. Considering you're going leave lefty Tony and Carter were the only Grissom, Larry Walker, Wil Cordero

ness of their two campaigns, pitcher he once but he's veteran past was, Castillo in against good right-handed bats left. So, he decided to and Ken Hill from the poverty-

fans should be to see to few wins best hit Jays happy sneaky enough get a sluggers, you'd cover your eyes. like one. stricken Expos, yet he still finds a

that things are finally looking here and there. It wouldn't be the the have Gaston has to be field up. Offensively, Jays pro- Overall, happy way to a competitive team. Too

The surprise thus far has to first time a veteran used assort- duced few Joe Carter is with his team's to date. in big an surprises, performance bad nobody Montreal seems to

be the starting rotation. Pat ment of to confuse hit- 30 of Hentgen junk pitches back in homer, 100 Ml form, With two years cellar-dwelling give asweet damn.

well, free ters • is throwing agent pick-up (see Alexander, circa Carlos has lat wsl of behind them, the are brief Will threaten the Doyle Delgado out Jays a anyone 60 Erik has settled Hanson into a 1987). the third in the ortier, and Otis hot streak from .500 homer barrier this spot away playing year? Don't

after a and rough start, Juan If there is an upside to the Nkon has his decent ball. The real test of this will count groove Jays' slapped way to team on it. Even with poor pitching,

Guzman has been leadoff C to outstanding. shaky bullpen, it's that pretty much production* . come when they begin play the hitters ballparks, and a ball more %

Guzman's comeback after an team in the has IfToronto is become the Yankees and crowd every majors a to dead- Orioles, the two teams juiced than a at Oktoberfest. 1995 has abysmal been these offensive team it orte£ it'll to the The to especially shaky bullpen days. ly was, expected challenge for AL pressure perform under the For refreshing. once, an athlete who Expansion has diluted the talent need John Oleriid to find the stroke East division title. of intense scrutiny every fan on the blamed his failures and on injuries pool, most teams at least that won him a and it'll If Toronto with these a carry batting title, can hang continent is little much these days. be seems to proving himself correct. a of wouldn't Green and • couple pitchers who need youngsters Shawn well-paid powerhouses, it could be Chicago Cubs' broadcaster Harry After those three, the rotation is have been in Alex Gonzales to the kind of If major league parks provide interesting come September. they Caray is the funniest guy in the busi-

a little sketchy. Paul Quantrill, five without the aid of a that made them stand- the But with years ago production get spanked by contenders, ness. you don't laugh

another free agent signing, has seat ticket. Tim Crabtree has outs at the level. only Young AAA they'll have to settle for trying to Harry, you laugh at him. This guy is

two wins to date, but both been damn near unhittable they as a Bright spots? Certainly Domingo maintain that level of .500 baseball worth the price of cable on his own.

came If he continues to man to Mike Timlin, who who has from that for decade recently. setup Cedeno, gone a guy over a was a staple

throw well, will the to his to Quantrill help seems finally ready to live up you hoped might be able leg out of the franchise.

Raptors face

pivotal offseason

Miller, who has exercised ail option picic in the upcoming college draft. GREG CHOWNYK in his contract that allows him to Rumours are circulating that the

Cord Sports enter the free agent market. team is currently considering select- With the first full of and season highs Murray improved over the year ing either Marcus Camby of IJMass, lows behind General them, Manager and although he will be looking for a California freshmen Shareef Abdur- lsiah Thomas and the face should Raptors raise, be resigned. Robertson Rahim or Connecticut shooting

offseason that contain is an may just as a great source of veteran leader- guard Ray Allen.

much action as the regular season sliip and would be missed. Miller did Alien canshoot the limits out and

did. have a solid season, but the large teamed with Rookie of the Year, 21-61 After posting a record, number of big name free agents Damon Stoudamire, would give the

wins over Seattle available combined with his solid backcourt for including Chicago, past Raptors a years

and Orlando, the three moans league's top weight problems, the "Big 0" to come in their quest to become & teams, one would think that there won'tattract too much attention. championship contender. Whoever wouldn't be too many major What the Raptors must decide is the team does select will also have to

If afford tliese fit changes. However, come September they can to bring guys under the salary cap. when die back training camp opens, team and fit them under die salary It looks as though the summer will look Me different than the a one cap. As a part of their expansion will bring little vacation time for from last year. agreement, the Raptors must com- lliomas. Now that Thomas has all

free with that Coacliing changes, agency, pote a salary cap is Sub- his men in place, it is his team to

the draft and die of the make college salary cap stantially less than those estab- cm- break. Whether or not he

are all Issues that the brass lished teams. will the Raptors turn Raptors into an expan- will be forced to deal with whether The current roster must also be sion success like the Orlando Magic like diey it or not evaluated as it must be determined if or lead them to the bottom like the

Thomas these began addressing players like Jimy King, Aeie Earl, Minnesota Umber-wolves remains to

changes early when he fired head Vincenzo Esposito and Martin Lewis be seen. coach Brendan Maione after their are N.BA. players and ifso, do they

season long feud erupted and: fit into the teams liiture.

became public knowledge. Al-though The Raptors also hold the second feud led the to some bad

press for the organiza-

tion, ft was a change that

had to be made. The

philosophical differences

the two shared were too acute. Sip A long time Thomas | pal and Raptor assistant,

Darrell Walker, has been chosen as Malone's suc- 1 Photo I cessor. Walker, at 34, gets

his first head coaching position and unlike Album ACTION Malone, he will be sure to

follow every order his Get 2nd & • 35 1 se* ®* mm, HO, 26, (C-41 Process) prints FROM boss gives him. ** • Limit 5 Now that Thomas has ; rolls per coupon per customer

his r man to coach the • Not valid with other discounts STOLEN any or specials h, One I team, he and Walker broug • valid until June 1 996 Coupon 30th, Houp must address more Photofinishing

issues such IGNORANTLY pressing as 's 247 King St. N., Waterloo free and the agency (Next to Gus Maue Sports, University At King) PHOTO salary cap.

Tracy Murray and With new management, the Raptors have another tough season Alvin Robertson are both ahead of them. free agents, as is Oliver

theCord May 29,1996 11 ENTERTAINMENT

and mayhem Musichighlight concert in the Quad

the Against Machine. '95. They have played shows all formances, and Hugh Dillon. These varied have indeed styles over Southern Ontario, Vancouver, "I love the unpredictability of it. meshed for the Barstool and Prophets. Winnipeg [Hugh's] a wild-card; he's a great

Enter the Rainbow Butt "It's entertainer. And off a big fucking fairy-tale right you feed that."

with their blend of now," exclaimed Scott. Dillon's both Monkeys cheeky lyrics come sponta- metal and Then the meandering heavy came appeal "Give us neously, and premeditatively during funkadelic rock, entertaining the some drugs!" from the Headstones' rehearsals, notedWhite.

crowd with and Dillon. some things new frontman Hugh White also commented on the

some things established. While the filled WHITTAKER Quad up, the music video medium, to which the included "Life Somethings new Headstone's rolled through fan- Headstones have provided three

of Alkaline," the Butt favourites like ROBIN featuring "Cemetery," songs. "I think it's pablum! It's not trademark Dime Size and it's become Monkey's resounding, "Dripping Drops," really necessary; stan- rifls and their vocalist their choppy guitar rock-hard version of the dard. The pictorial aspect is not

Scott's — not the least of classic "Tweeter that much fun. hear PICTURE: hijinx Traveling Wilbury's ... People only

a but which included a litre and what wants ignited sparse encourag- juggling one Monkeyman." the big money them to crowd with "Short ing songs like water-bottle, and having it land on In true Dillon fashion, Hugh spat hear." ROBIN WHITTAKER and Curlies," featuring his head. "That's leave a and the bird to fans blistering gonna flipped adoring In any case, a paltry $2.00 let Cord Entertainment solos and guitar unpredictable mark!" he exclaimed after the song. who screamed his name in hopes of exam-stressed students hear what So here's the deal: us two And then the crowds — the end of you pay rhythms. came being on receiving a wad they wanted to hear. Three loud bucks, we'll let at Wilfs, Before into "Little and all with you hang ripping was right the Quad — of goober, or a choice middle-finger. bands who played under ideal out-

The Turret, or a three-band concert. Death," Greer the droves of students emphasized gen- as came out to Mayhem was all right with door conditions, right under our

— Yeah when eral theme of the — like "danananana" maybe monkeys night mayhem jump to songs Dillon, who body-surfed over the own noses.

fly out butt! — down trees!" and House of Pain's crowd my by exclaiming "Rip "Jump numerous times, (almost) The future plans of each band

The Students' Union s at The riff Around." attempt song's catchy opening put always returning in time to sing the are different indeed.

offering an end-of-year bash and a them back in favour with the Yes, there was plenty of jumping next verse. The Barstool Prophets will take a

substitute for Ezra was hailed all crowd. by around during their set, which also You couldn't help but stare in few weeks off for a much deserved

as a nowhere was this In an interview after the clever rendition of success; show, incorporated a awe, not at his in-your-face show- vacation.

more evident than in the Quad, Greer talked a bit about the band, NKOTB's"Hangin' Tough." manship, or the fact that he sur- The Rainbow Butt Monkeys,

where three of the finest which is on the last of country's legs a Too many people missed the vived the crowd, but that the crowd now with an arsenal of over thirty bands took the to in a Canadian tour in which have Butt survived him. "You have to chose stage hyper- they Monkey's bone-chilling show, people songs from, according to active of music and crossed the display may- country six times. and those who were there just great taste in rock and roD," Dillon Scott, will soon be hitting the studio

hem. "It was a couldn't sweaty performance," stop jumping. repeated incessantly. for what promises to be an exhila-

the was Ottawa's he said, on their show. Opening night commenting Commenting on the band's "We people" like our rock hard, rating sophomore album. Barstool own Prophets. Made of Forrester "We Scott noted "there's an and what's next up agreed, saying shows, ener- our entertainment unpre- And for the enthusiastic vocalist and had fabulous time rhythm a tonight." gy and a sense of humour" which dictable. The Headstones offered Headstones? Said White: "We want

Graham Greer, lead Greer noted the of the out in the shows than the world domination." guitarist gui- diversity comes more up goods. A 1 Morier, tarist bassist Glenn band, pointing out Morier's classical their album "Letters from Chutney." After the show. Headstone's For the Headstone's Quad

Forrester and drummer Bob and his The guitar training own interests Butt Monkeys are on their bassist Tim White offered some Concert-going fans, that goes with- Thomas, the Barstool in Leonard and first which started of Prophets Cohen, Mozart Rage tour, in April insight into the band, their live per- out saying.

Celebrating the percussive possibilities in everyday life

Stomp a loud, athletic aesthetic

AARON HUNTER kitchen lots of offers for future. There books, sticks, garbage cans, the Stomps winded at all, despite a huge and untaught. are no prereq-

AND ERIN KEATING sinks and rubber hoses all get the powerful appeal has drawn a great amount of clomping around, jump- uisites for appreciating it, and no

Cord Entertaiment crap beat out of them, skilfully and deal of bemused media interest, ing and tapping in what look like themes to puzzle out. Cresswell and

The undervalued art of Even the itself can't well successful fellow drumming elegantly. set pretty ensuring a pretty heavy boots. He only stops to his performers are showing

one's and one's feet off it like chim- in Toronto. what do with fingers tapping escape; they swing run silently mock the audience for its us they can sound, not

is at the heart of and crash with aban- That be attributed lack of what do to in touch Stomp. Currently panzees away appeal can to rhythm, in a way reminiscent we can get more

reigning over Toronto's Elgin don. the incredible of Mr. Bean. The rest of the dancers with ourselves or reduce moral cor-

Theatre, the show and its The various "numbers" melt into much the the in the world. This lack of impres- are same; you get ruption

celebrate in sive cast percussion all each other before the echo is sense that they are understating conventional cultural ambition is

of its less refined forms. Stomp legit- allowed to fade. The one overriding their considerable athletic and refreshing and fun to experience. It's

imizes the sheer of factor between realize joy banging on common scenes is comic gifts slightly for the sake of ironic, however, when you

stuff. How? They bang on stuff. A the incredible choreography and the noise. Also understated is the that this apparently democratic and

lot. synchronization; Stomp creators, dancing itself. accessible art form is hidden behind

Stomp showcases an eight-mem- directors and performers Luke The actual steps and movements the doors of the Elgin Theatre. In

ber cast and lasts about hour Cresswell and an Steve McNicholas are kept basic in order to emphasize case you couldn't guess, those doors

and to have risen to the cost a half; any description beyond seem challenge die sounds that are being made and quite a bit to open.

that runs the risk of into of all the elements descending holding together. to facilitate the constantly changing Ultimately, Stomp gives you per-

in silliness. The participants all look Since the show's conception tempos and rythms which really are mission to enjoy and contribute to

in like post-apocalytic janitors, dancing Britain 1991, Cresswell and the stars of this show. Despite this, the countless percussions of every-

and furi- McNicholas have taken to the athleticism and humour that it's effective it makes clanging things together Stomp comes still very and very funny. day human existence; up front of urban North debut ously in a neat-o set. world; its American across in the performance. Thebalance definitely works. for all the time when that stuff was

on and small, was at Harbourfront, followed Cresswell himself or childish. They prey objects big by is the perfect Stomp can be looked at as part just considered annoying

and successful runs in the It 'til some expected some quite States, an example; on stage perhaps more of a backlash against connoisseur- Go if you can. runs through

match- and unexpected: brooms, Zippos, award-winning documentary than anyone else, he never looks ship; it caters to something primal July 7.

12 May 29,1996 theCord 0, Roaming Europe °

the inexpensive way

SEAL White that have the and to vert. MELANIE states a person can go energy enthusiasm

Cord to that be than the sites; to meet the White writes of the addea Entertainment Europe on a budget may see more fractionally higher than $1,400 but people and live the life of the citizens bonuses of traveling alone. As

I tend to be little Europe On 84< A Day less that $3,000. How can this be of Europe? a woman, a

Gil White done? How is it possible to travel White's guide book offers more apprehensive about venturing

the of sites into lands and Gil White Publishers, 1995 throughout Europe for as little as than typical information foreign sleeping

instead, under their stars on their beach- Soft cover 5i4.95 $0.00 a day? White writes that in to see, and hotels to stay in; lack order to travel with little cost, one he offers creative means of acquir- es. Aware of the of respect

be one's vari- and women find must willing to experience ing a place to rest head, aggression many

and trade modes of from themselves faced with in Europe offers to students a chance adventure, meet people, ous getting place to foreign rather to educate themselves in the class- small duties like washing dishes and place, and how to keep yourself countries, I would spend a

of life. the dreamof food and fed. He alternatives dollars on hostel. White room For many, baby-sitting for lodging. properly gives few a youth

free- normal travel such of the difference between travelling abroad is often grounded "This book does not advocate to expenses as is aware by its financial implications. Gil loading, mooching, stealing, altering hitch-hiking, sleeping under the the male and female traveler, and

a fami- for this includes methods the White, International speaker and or forging train passes, you don't stars, and staying with small reason Hard the most have to risk meal and female traveler to probably creative traveler, sacrificing your integrity ly for a free lodging. can employ stay

his is not safe. has revised first travel guide, or tarnishing your country's image Hitch-hiking only listed as

travel the alternative of With 75 save producing Europe on 84< A Day. to on ultra-cheap." an means travel, over ways to which 84 A be White not only examines over As students, we often have to White ranks the countries are money, Europe on c Day can

our used anecdotal thirty-five European countries in budget lives down to the last more likely to stop and pick up as an interesting Cord toilet to also students who find detail, he offers tips in finding free square of tissue, in order hitch-hiker. Safety tips are resource by

for to modes of "bum- low on the or low cost accommodation, travel, allow the fun things we wish offered for safer themselves cash. Using

that offers, and food. "You don't need thou- do. Realistically though, we will ming" rides. tips and guidance White May springs travelers find sands of dollars to go to Europe or never be better able to enjoy the This travel book is for the adven- on a tight budget can eternal author he adventures in limited Australia for three or four adventure of traveling in Europe turous; the warns that their Europe

months,"White writes. than right now. When else will we focuses his instruction to the extro- only by their imaginations.

Kitchener will be

going Crazy for You ROBIN WHITTAKER

cord Entertainment

1. That McDonald's commercial.

Bill, Billy, or William: your family

bites!

2. Stabbing Westward video.

What do 1 have to do to focus this

thing?

3. Surprise Hip show at T.O's

Horseshoe Tfcvem,

Ti-agic Secrets pfes me off. (Proceeds lor kids with to Trillium camp can-

cer) Oh so ilip.

4. those Much Music concert list-

ing dips.

Ah embarrassment to bad singers.

Are YOU with the band?

WHOTO 5. Video for "Big Bang Baby" Cheesy. Catchy tune. Goofy. Damn

RLE catchy tune. Corny. Real catchy tune. Damn it! Just lock him up!

6. bassist MELANIE SEAL The twenty-three cast members used to doing. Polly's kind of a tough Hawks said of the musical, "It's so OASIS's

- it's when Mr. is that Bean? Cord Entertainment and eight orchestral members have cookie, a tomboy. But the fact that upbeat a great show to do Bean? you, Mr.

the dance and - been traveling by bus throughout she gets to sing, act was a you're traveling if I get in a bad

Kitchener's Centre in the Square will United States and Canada since last real thrill for me. I don't often get to mood, I find the show really picks 7. Septuagenarian. be the and have do all three when I a character." because so I'm A word don't in hosting traveling production September, already per- play me up itjs upbeat. you just see print of hundred Hawks that what time." often Crazy For You from June 4 to 9, formed at over one venues. said most often really having a good enough. There. the "all singing, all dancing, all When asked about what the tough- attracts the large audiences is Crazy Crazy for You has been labeled

of the road For music. "The is the "new" Gershwin musical Headstones in the Gershwin!" show which first was est part traveling on was, You's big thing 8. Quad. first music. it must to performed on Broadway in Colleen Hawks, who plays the the Gershwin It appeals to because although was inspired by There be a betterplace pass

the 1930 "Girl Mr. 1992. The musical also won the female lead Polly Baker, said, not only elder generation but the show Crazy", play- out than in your veggie dip,

to William Dillon. Tony award for Best Musical of the "Dragging your luggage up your also the younger crowd. The wright Ken Ludwig and D.

Year in 1992. hotel room. I'm accumulating a lot choreography is also really exciting." Brohn created new orchestrations

classic Sometimes bus Hawks said 9. Mission ads. The combination of songs of stuff. the trips can that often many of the for five songs from the original play Impossible

and often travel 500 who talk her after the and other Gershwin Four of want? We sound- by George Ira Gershwin, inven- get long; we up to people to tunes. So watchya got

tive tap dancing, and a story of old- miles a day." show are university and college stu- these new tunes have only recently tracks, we got a high-tech movie, Tom fashioned romance are sure to Hawks, who has played the roles dents. "It's (the music) really time- been discovered. we got Powerbooks, we got attract a large audience. The story of "Sandy" in Grease, and "Ariel" in less. The musical is in the mode of For its prospective Kitchener Cruise, we got commercial overkill. stretches from glamorous New York Disney's Broadway production of the golden era of the Hollywood audience, Hawks promised, "It's so in the 1930's Mermaid, finds the lead Hawks said. and fun.... will 10. Def drummer to Deadrock, Nevada, a The Little musical." light-hearted People leppard charged

out town with role of Baker to "a consid- for You is their toes hum- with his wife. worn mining 157 men Polly be, Crazy a light-hearted go away tapping and straining and erable stretch from the roles I'm which and fun. the tunes." If and it one woman. production is playful ming you're happy you know

theCord May 29, 1996 13 (Entertainment

Game Guru: Hurray, I'm a jet

MIKE VENCEL alternate to between the two. given full 360 degree control the to over point, music this game is awe- Cord Entertainment the Anyway, on to like a game. your plane, just in fighter sim- some! Since it is on CD-ROM, While in the for planning stages ulator. Plus, you can switch views to Interplay has included 12 bonus CD Title: Descent 2 Descent it looks like look 2, someone up, down left or right, while tracks that can be in CD , played any PC-CDROM System: asked the "Sure, Doom is in an direction. question flying opposite player. They are also are used as Format: CD-ROM(l Player First good, but what if we made the char- While the amount of is options background music in the game. Person Shoot-em-up) acter a futuristic The will take jet?" scary great, it you awhile to get The music is all hard driving alter- is that it worked. Company: Interplay thing The story in used to the controls if are I you play- native music, which love and I can

Some of you might notice a new for- Descent 2 is after with the tell simple: completing ing keyboard. you nothing beats blasting away mat to Game Gurus, most notable mission in Descent (the The your origi- last aspect of this game that aliens and flying down corridors the to name change "Game Guru", nal), on home I would like to discuss you are your way is its music while you hear Type O Negative Conor has back when the work for singular. gone corporation you and support of unique gaming blaring in the background. home to Toronto for the reveals other summer some plans. It seems devices. By unique gaming devices, Overall, I thoroughly recommend

and has graciously handed me the that of their mines has been I thatDescent 2 this fan of one ore mean fully supports game to any Doom, and reins to column the duration. our for taken a hostile force and VR If out then those who over by helmets. any of you even are not. This game

Another have want to liberate change you might they you it. You happens to own one I suggest trying is excellent, and other than the noticed that is Game Gurus is now have choice in the matter. This is this to helmet. no game fully enjoy your slight problem of getting used to all

doing PC The answer to where the first games. you begin, on level of I could imagine nothing better then the keyboard commands, I would

that one is simple. roommate, the mine, down the corridors and this My flying your fighter jet. blasting buy game myself. who had all the and to This is where exceeds systems the game being able to turn your headleft and MIKE: A

whom we owe a debt of gratitude, is and not in Doom, just graphics right to check down other corridors, (This game is available for rent or

too, so all I have left is alone. The for all the while, BL^CTURE gone my options you are given music blasting in your purchase at Microplay, located at PC and an old Genesis I'll are You That to trusty try your jet phenomenal. are ears. brings me my last 133 WeberSt. NBBB-7900). Diner delights Fifties' style

DAVE POPOVICH AND we can honestly say this place has it potatoes, there was enough food ner was the fact that neither of us That's the last aspect of the Diner

MIKE all. Mike decided VENCEL to try a taste of one there for three; but Dave managed knew about the Jesus parade that that we enjoyed, the staff. They

Cord Entertainment of their it many specials. What he to pack down. All this for just was taking place today, trapping us were quite friendly and knowledge-

It was another ended slab of $5.95, an sunny day as we ven- up getting was a shep- mmm.... turkey. To make in the Hollywood Diner for half able about the food, and stopped by tured into the heart of downtown herd's which feed pie was enough to sure we were staying in period, we hour after our meal was finished. to talk to us as the parade went by.

Kitchener in search of adventure small the low to staff want to treat a family. For low, had order two milk shakes: Mike's The took this in stride and If you yourself, then

and a of Dave's vanilla. asked if would like the blast the the good meal, when we came price $5.50, Mike got soup, was chocolate, They us we dessert; try from past,

little the Caesar salad and chunk had decline rather then risk across a place by name of a huge were excellent, except Dave we to Hollywood Diner, good food, great

the Diner. was so Hollywood Golly, it was o' shepherd's pie. It filling remarked that they weren't as thick the chance of exploding on the spot. people and excellent prices.

like the old that had just days: cheap piices, Mike to loosen his belt a as he was used to. These milk-

and of those few notches that his huge portions, course to ensure extra shakes were fairly expensive at oh-so creamy milkshakes. It felt like girth was accommodated. On the $2.75, but worth it. The burdens of being I was on a episode of Leave it to other hand, Dave stuck to the menu The other exciting aspect of this

Beaver. With all the atmosphere and and had a hot turkey sandwich, restaurant is its locale. It's located

of Fifties music the this little diner called appropriately enough "Love right on King Street in downtown Bonham the gave us sense that we had been me tender Turkey". When the wait- Kitchener, and with huge picture Tracy

blasted back forty years. ress returned with his food, Dave windows it allowed us to observe

With that would the local their habitat. a menu satisfy was flabbergasted! Turkey reaching people in own and blended with anyone's craving for home cooking, to the rafters, coupled with mashed The most exciting aspect of our din- DAVE SCOTT gritty guitar lyri-

Special To The Cord cal observations, rife with black

Tracy Bonham played the Volcano humour and just enough angst to

Club to Thursday night as part of form a dynamic record. oozed a tour supporting her new record The tight sound talent,

"The Burdens of Being Upright". with even the loudest vocal stretch-

Far from being just another es maintaining control and clarity. singer/songwriter, Bonham stands Songs like the defiant "Sharks Can't and "One Hit out as highfy original and one of the Sleep" the frantic

most talented musicians to hit the Wonder" provided a powerful and

driven new music scene in a long time. live set

In an intense live show, backed The simplicity and sarcasm of

classical Mother" first by a three-piece band, her "Mother, (die single

violin training became apparent from the record which is on heavy about during the opening song "Brian rotation just evecywhere) is

Crack", with some amazing violin appealing as much for the dark

of for IE improvisation. Bonham then humour the lyrics, as the GIOTOMWMM! ride switched to electric guitar and roller coaster erf guitar chords.

of Bonham is a star offered up an energetic set Tracy rising rhythm, noise, and melody which (continues to build a following. Big- TURRET THURSDAYS kept the packed crowd cranked time success is just around the cor- from start to finish. I have never ner and"The Burdens of Being 12 seen such enthusiastic mushing at Upright" comprising great songs she NOW CHEAPER THAN EVERYONE!!! the Volcano, will no doubt assure that

Her selection of catchy tunes becomes wildlyfamous.

NO COVER! BIlBMBlBlBlBlBMBlBlBJBMBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBMBlBMBlBfBJBIBJBIBJBJBIBfSIBlBIBlBMBlBIBlBlBlBllB | Special Mleiin from the ij ALTERNATIVE PRICING! I Cord Entertainment staff i I 1 the fine month ALL NIGHT! | You only have a couple days left to appreciate jgj and | of May: National "Sight Month", "Sleep Month" j|

there on the [a I "Masturbation Month". We want to see you out while in semi- Prizes, Give Aways and A Hell OfA Good | streets, eyes open and touching yourself a | for Oh write | catatonic state. The weather's just right it. yeah, |

I for the in June wash hands first). & Time Every Thursday Cord (but your | .i

pi rarararararararararararararaiararararorongrBrarrirrirrilrifiairilrirPfciMgMBjgMgMBJBlBlciMBlBiBJlB

14 May 29, 1996 theCord Entertainment) Ear Candy

to be in the clubs The Verve Pipe offer a that it's more in you face and dar- their songs played Yeppers.

bedroom make slow sound that is discordant both in ing. Not only is the music more or in the (they

music and in — and complex — just listen to "Drive In jams that are supposed to compli- lyrics they

almost make it work. The trouble is Drive Out" — but Producer Steve ment various bedroom activities).

the that while there's nothing overtly Lillywhite (U2, Talking Heads, Rolling Unfortunately for SWV, only air- with "Villains," there's Stones) has done wonders for the song that is worth getting any wrong very fresh. You bands overall sound. The true joys play is "You're the One". This song is little here that's may

more time to piece of DMB's music are certainly found an upbeat love ballad about the spend trying

in concert, but "Crash" captures the group's desire for stealing someone's together the obscure, bordering-on-

It has and than to the nuances of live performance as boyfriend. a catchy tune annoying lyrics grooving

the Other than feedback and distortion. "Drive You competently as any studio recording lyrics are interesting.

album Mild" is an as Brian Neighbour Ned Dave Matthews Band could. Just imagine trying to record that song, the has nothing example, singer My

for Arc exclaims "and if I ever Fish Out of Water "Crash" in-tune whistling like that found going for it, except the really cre- Vander

the drive and RCA near the end of "Let You Down." ative themes in songs. For your style suffering your Independent

of of the titles of the with no to rile." If you listen to a wide range example, some day predicted ability Once I asked review "Love is So Amazin'," Throughout the album, his are again am to From the opening riff of "So Much musical genres, you'll find some- songs are: lyrics but another Laurier band: Love," "I'm so in Love" deep but not poignant, droning independent To Say" I loved the album, and I thing precious on "Crash". If you're "You are My of this that has musical DMB how much time the not and all-encompass- an job I like. didn't know why. DMB a cer- tastes are limited, may (can you see mystifying, aspect

too bands thatmuch on thinking ing but empty. And oh Often times, independent tain je ne c'est quoi that captivates just expand them further. group spent up song yes,

the (racks suffer offer fresh new music to forces to listen. It's not themes). many of album's compared you and you Robin Whittaker scale of 1-5,1 The New from the each-song-sounds-the- the music that is out there today. My jazz, folk, classical, reggae, world On a give is not To 2. Pick the CD same Neighbour Ned different. beat or rock; it's all of these rolled Beginning a generous syndrome.

is Ned is different would be an if it for a One bright the album's pleasantly and forcefully into upbeat up only you get really good spot say Ned-is differ- has feet seventh track, "The Freshman." understatement. very music that you tapping your price. tailor- and for bands this want to This is a love-ballad, ent, some style whether you or not. gorgeous

made that at wouldn't work, but for this one it "Too Much," the album's fourth Duke McKenzie for last-song-spot high has dances (heck it's a solid does. Mike Busseri (vocals) a track, damn near had me dancing. school even five minutes is gravelly voice and I cannot Matthews' lyrics are deep and pro- long!) "Photograph" very think of another band want to the tunc that's whose singer found, and if you really you media-friendly

but eventu- some at has this of voice. "Naked" is can listen to the words, already enjoying air-play typ6 my

with and on the radio — it's the favourite track, with Mike singing ally they just blend effortlessly bars key- boards that make this work and Christine Deneau adding her the instruments in songs like "Cry song to Their two Freedom" and the humorous and and not the Bush X/Pure ambiotic voice the background. well, and with dark "Proudest Monkey". If it's swv guitar distortions. voices mix really one the unbridled maniac fiddling that tick- New Beginning To their credit The Verve Pipe acoustic guitar accompanying

will have mastered the slow to fast tran- it works just soooooo well. les your fancy, "Tripping Billies" song

breath and sitions between like "Villains" That's not to the rest of the CD have you catching your songs say isn't it this Can SWV Yes can. and (if at all)," good; was just one song tapping your toes. sing? they They "Barely generating stood the If — but that from rest. On the heels of the success of can sing quite well actually But who The Verve Pipe some effective mood-swings out you for fresh and "Under the Table and Dreaming," the hell cares? On the second 'Villains" overall they leave little impression are looking a exciting

mild satisfaction. band, Ned; they who's first single "What Would You album, New Beginning, the group of RCA beyond try My Neighbour

nominated for aren't for but work Say" was two three young ladies put together a everyone, they

"Crash" is the weak I about these Robin Whittaker for me. Grammy awards, very effort. Their singing was heard someone talking

third with but their dif- band's release (second fine, lyrics and production guys a few weeks ago: "They're

RCA). The difference between left something to be desired. ferent from The Verve, aren't they?" Mike Vencel

"Crash" and DMB's earlier efforts is Normally, R&B groups design she said.

Where to

Hang

Wednesday May 29 June 28

Stone Temple Pilots spotlight on Molson presents "Canadian Grand MuehMusic. 7:30 and 11:30 Stand" at the Western Fairgrounds in London, featuring Our Lady Thursday May 3G Peace, 54-40,1 MotherEarth and the Rheostestics play tho Volcano Ki&joys.

Friday May 51

The Princess Cinema hosts a CD

Release Celebration for Shel This will give the individual an opportunity to gain managerial Neufeld, also featuring Shannon

Lyon and Ned in My Neighbour experience while working on an industry-standard acoustic performances. desk-top publishing system. Saturday June8

Groove Daddies at the Volcano An optional resume may be attached.

Close June Applications 7,1996 at 4:30 pm. Wednesday June 12 Please The Piesktents of the United States return applications to the attention of Laurie Legault,

President, WLUSP, in person. Her mailboxes are located in both the Corel offices and the WLUSU of America storm the Warehouse in the Third offices, on Floor of the Student Union Building. Toronto with the Fast backs and By Fax:(sl9) 884-7723. Mail: WLUSP, Menthol By 75 University Ave. W., Ontario N2L3CS

and Applications job Descriptions are available

in the Cord Offices (third floor, 5.U.8.)

theCord May 29,1996 15 NEU STUDENTEN KUNST

surreal obsession Cord

ROBIN WHITTAKKER friends at first sight. She was perky in the picture at least; and all that's in others, and she drifted quickly Neu Studenten Kunst and attentive; and easy to read. She that mattered. from his life. He never understood. He small was a boy; or rather, Classifieds good. enjoyed telling people about her first All that mattered was that she They would see each other on His manners her first were altogether qui- job, trip to Costa Rica, her could out with her friends and go the street, in the mall, and at the eter than those of his friends, some- last five Her dance. boyfriends. personality Adam never really liked to corner store, and she would smile that intimidated thing perhaps was as revealing as the clothes she dance. But he did anyways. and say "Hi" in a voice thatto Adam them; scared them, even. wore on Thursday, Friday, and And perhaps that's where it seemed almost but apologetic, per- As he older, grew those he'd Saturday nights. started. haps antagonizing. He never knew Free Art/DraftingT&ble his friends didn't But thought were stay she was not like the other ••• why. His desire for her was Solid wood gen- drawing table, 5 feet x 3 with him, and he soon came to real- girls in one respect: she was not Or ended. uine. feet Great for drawing, design, and ize that friendship was something self-conscious. She knew where she They were from the same world, She had been offended by him. even a kitchen table too! Free to a he ought to strive for. It wouldn't stood at and but the a given moment never not same island of friends. He too forward. Sexually. was His good home-sec Laurie or Melanie in come to him tried by just being. to pretend she was better than met at bar They'd a some years ago quiet manner seemed to lie to her the Cord ofiices, 3rd floor Students'

• •• other Ever. and at the any person. time they seemed entirely and she had felt betrayed. Their Union Building.

It the third of October • •• was and to each but kisses compatible other, never were sweet, and she yearned Adam sat in front of his TV Live from New parents' ... York, it's appeared so to their friends. Adam for them, but didn't fit Be Sister they seem to a Big Volunteer set, on an old couch in had purchased a Saturday Night!..." been quiet and amusingly awk- the rest of his She manner. did not Please consider this opportunity to of long-past era large flower designs ward in that Saturday night. a way Dorothy thought understand and scared. make a was positive difference in a flaming and red. Adam broke from his trance and orange was most outgoing. Adam was in He did not understand her, in child s growth . If you are 20 yeajs "... Soft hands, while do the on you checked clock on the TV, then love with She time. His calls remained Dorothys personality. unan- of age or older and can commit to 3 dishes..." the watch on which he placed more was never afraid to at herself laugh swered and she would not make hoursAveek for a minimum of 1 He stared at the not real- faith. screen, when she said something or did time for him. He feel him- silly, began to year we need you! Big Sisters from attention to the flashes of It ly paying was 11:36. Adam was not something self obsessive. He it strange. growing knew all cultural backgrounds are commercial trash that floated in and he down tired, lay on the out- Dorothy had loved Adam s mind. had to And did. stop. it encouraged to share in a child's front of his dated sofa. At the eyes. of He seemed to understand ••• age twenty- more development. Also inquire about

"... And too can Adam wished he could now you own one, be out than he let and she wanted to Adam still held his heart on, a place in our short-term match program. this washer and dryer set for with his he wished he had friends know him better. lovely ... for her. She did not feel the same. Access to a vehicle is also an asset.

the low, 10w..." he could to go parties with, bars The incompatibilities so obvious bleach for unbleachables." "... Call now to get started! 743-5206. His thoughts were elsewhere. with, meet with. to their subcon- girls friends were only Love for the unlovable, and •••

So deep, that he could not recollect He wished ... scious hurdles both they strove to Adam still thought about her. Hie Study, Study, Study

his of two •• thoughts minutes • overcome. ago; TV flashed back to the infomercial Welcome part time students! Drop seconds two ago. Or was it the dis- The music was loud as always, and never could. Adam had often. They seen too in to see Susan for study skills coun- tractions the on screen? the songs were the same as last • •• "Watch hair curl its your on own selling throughout the summer! "Why...?" he asked. weekend, and weekend since It ended month after it when every one began. you use Surecurl. One minute Monday and Thursday evening:

••• the when used her The end a and years Dorothy was slow, grueling on high your hair will look as 4.30 pm-8.00 pm Call ext. 2338

was a old ID Dorothy bright girl. Her sisters to get into The It one for Adam, but not so for Diane's." Dig. good as to arrange an appointment, or just in strengths lay her ability to make had never failed. looked They alike, Dorothy. She found her interests lay Diane? No, Dorothy. drop in to counselling services in the Student Service Centre, Upper

Floor. While you are here, check

ROB GLOVER noticed how hit TV show the X-Files. "I "Surely you every thought out our literature tacks for helpful Neu Studenten clock Kunst in the Dr. Alvin Wood he told that didn't see hints and View From building you you any- reading materials. I in the hav- different was sitting Concourse, is telling a time," he said. thing," the formerly nice lady said.

extra "Yes, but I assumed that's "It ing just bought my large just was a good thing I was here, Counselling Services Learning of caffeine from because the circuit board control- turbo-charged jolt because it turns out you can't be Consultants the the nice at the Second the time lady Cup, ling for the building fried in trusted." She took out a dart gun As of May Ist! New extended

when fellow who looked the last electrical some storm." and pointed it at me. "You're com- hours!! Monday and Thursday like that Mulder exactly Fox charac- "That's the official story. The ing with us." Evenings (during classes only) 430

ter from the "X-Files" real because of the side I to 8.00 (In addition to Concourse approached reason is When came to, 1 found myself p.m. p.m. He looked effects of the on-board me. anti-graviton in a featureless room. Absolutely regular hours: 8.30-4.00 p.m.)

me straight field," he whispered. featureless: Nowhere along the Personal counselling arid Stud Skills.

• in the "On board what?" I demanded. walls could I salmon-pink see any Counselling and Study Skills

"I tell he door. eye can't you," replied. "Hoo signs of a window, or a I Services available to all part-time

wealth of informa- looked down the coloured boy, you're a at floor, and full-time students, faculty and

added "I the the For tion," I sarcastically. in same salmon-pink as staff. more information, or to don't understand what's going walls. No sign of a trap door. book an appointment, drop in or

here." I looked The ext. 2338. on up. ceiling, again call

"Yes, that's right," came painted in that irritating salmon, : »*# ■ '

his "and Furnished deadpan reply, you'll didn't have any sign of a trapdoor, Housefor Rent

understand even less in..." he either. For that matter, nether did it For 5 students, 235 Albert, minutes

look his watch. paused to at have a light. "So how come I can to campus, excellent condition,

"In fifteen seconds." see," 1 said aloud to myself, "if garage, parking, washer, dryer, 2

A shone there's dammed 2 12 bright shaft of light no light?" fridges, stove, bathrooms,

through the skylight illuminating "That's classified," a familiar female month lease. $1600 plus utilities,

circle and behind and call 746-7928, a right next to me, voice said me, I jumped

Mulder-like turned around. Sure it . ' ' ; engulfing my chatting as I enough,

that character. for Contact Research (• partner. was Scully-esque Participants

He slowly drifted skyward, "How'd you get in here? Better still, Required

at I The Centre for Contact Lens '/shouting me, "remember, you How'd get here?"

didn't see this," before he vanished "That's classified, too." she Research, University of Waterloo is

from sight. deadpanned. "Then how about the interested in recruiting participants

Another fifteen seconds I back. contact to later, way out?" I deadpanned for lens studies designed characteris- took a sip from my potent coffee "Sorry, nice try," she replied. It consider different eye Individuals who of Chinese and looked up through the skylight. was then that I noticed she had tics. are

Not surprisingly, I saw nothing. A some rather efficient looking surgi- or Japanese descent are being

quick trip outside confirmed noth- cal equipment with her. sought. One study will involve par-

there. "You can't do this!" who soft contact ing was I shouted. ticipants wear

"Did that?!?" 1 asked "The truth will be out there! Hie other study you see lenses. requires

the nice lady behind the counter. Roswell! Roswell!" people who either wear rigid gas and "See what?" she asked. "What just About then, everything blurred, permeable contact lenses or have lenses. Time said, happened!" and I found myself back at the never worn contact

commitment and is "You About then, the nice lady put her Concourse, holding my now-empty compensation of her hair and started "Sheesh," the didn't see hand on top mug. I thought to myself, dependent upon particular this." to pull. Her face began to contort "not only do I drink too much coffee, study. For additional information

X- "Didn't and stretch in the most peculiar but I watch way too far many on these studies, please contact

like rubber mask. This I should cut Leona Vass at see what?" I way, it was a Files episodes. Maybe UW» (519-888-4742).

be the the back." There is intelligently turned out to case, as no obligation to participate.

asked. "What's underneath the mask looked About I noticed that all the All studies conducted the centre person then, by Contact have been about to hap- nothing like the nice lady who usu- clocks told a different time. I saw a for Research

dark reviewed and have received ethics pen." "And that ally works there. man in a coat approach me,

about then I fled, the Office of Human is?" I prompt- In fact, she looked amazingly and it was approval by Waterloo. ed. like that Scully character from the screaming. Research, University of

RLE PHOTO •MANIPULATION: JEREMY KERR

16 May 29,1996 theCord