Appendix: Tables on Russell's Sample of Incest Survivors Table AI Information on Sample of Incest Survivors by Ethnicity

Demographic Factors Afrikcmers English-Speaking Total South Africans

N =9 N=9 N = 18 Mean Age at lnteniew 29 years 37 years Mean Number of Siblings 3 3 Survivor is Eldest Child 3 4 7 Education Some Tertiary Education 3 6 9 High School Graduate 3 2 5 High School not Completed 3 I 4 Social Class Middle Class 4 9 13 Lower Class 5 0 5 Sexual Preference Heterosexual 6 5 11 Lesbian 3 4 7 Current Marital Status Married 3 2 5 Divorced or Separated 2 I 3 Single 4 6 10 Number of Children Raised 0 Children 5 7 12 1 Child 2 I 3 2 Children 2 0 2 3 Children 0 I I Religious Background Dutch Reformed Church 4 0 4 Anglican 0 4 4 Roman Catholic 0 2 2 Methodist 0 I I Baptist 0 I I Mormon 2 0 2 Apostolic I 0 I No Religion 2 I 3 Number of Incest Perpetrators per Incest Survivor Total I 3 8 11 2 4 I 10 3 I 0 3 5 I 0 5 Total 29

170 Appendix 171

Table A2 lnfonnation on Incest Perpetrators and their Abuse, by Ethnicity1

Afrilamer Engl~h-Speaking South African Perpetrators Perpetrators

I. Type of Relative % (N) % (N) Father 54 I (2) 30 I(2) Stepfather (5) (I) Brother 8 I (I) 50 I(3) Stepbrother (0) (2) Grandfather (0) 10 (I) Uncle 15 (2) 10 (I) Cousin 15 (2) (0) Father's stepcousin 8 (I) (0)

Tolal 100 (13) 100 (10)

2. Age of Survivor at Onset of Incestuous Abuse % (N) % (N) Before 5 years 31 (4) 40 (4) 6--10 years 31 (4) 30 (3) 11-15 years 38 (5) 30 (3)

Total 100 (13) 100 (10)

3. Frequency of Incestuous Abuse % (N) % (N) 1-5 times 38 (5) 20 (2) 6--20 times 23 (3) 20 (2) 21-100 times 8 (I) 30 (3) > 100 times 31 (4) 30 (3)

Total 100 (13) 100 (10)

4. Duration of Incestours Abuse that Occured More than Once % (N) % (N) < 2 years 30 (3) 25 (2) 2-10 years 60 (6) 75 (6) > 10 years 10 (I) 0 (0)

Total 100 (10) 100 (8)

cont'd I 72 Appendix

Table A2 continued

Afrikaner English-Speaking South African Perpetrators Perpetrators

5. Severity of Sex Acts (determined by the most serious sex act(s) perpetrated) % (N) % (N) , oraVanal penetration 46 (6) so (S) Fondling 46 (6) 30 (3) Other sexual touching 8 (I) 0 (0) Non-contact sexual abuse (0) 20 (2)

Total 100 (13) 100 (10)

6. Severity of Fon:e or Violence Used by Perpetrator (whether or not associated with the incestuous abuse) % (N) % (N) No violence 23 (3) so (S) Some 15 (2) 30 (3) Severe or very 62 (8) 20 (2) severe

Total 100 (13) 100 (10)

7. Weapons Ever Used by or Known to be Avallable to Perpetrator % (N) % (N) Yes 54 (7) 30 (3) No 46 (6) 70 (7)

Total 100 (13) 100 (10)

I. For those incest survivors who were victimized by more than two relatives, this analysis is limited to the two perpetrators whose abuse caused them the most dis• tress. The degree of trauma resulting from the abuse is the criterion for determining priority. Information on the ethnicity of two perpetrators is missing for Table A2. Notes

I INTRODUCTION: OPENrnG THE DOOR IN WHITE SOUTH AFRICA

I. The Human Sciences Research Council in South Africa partially funded this study. 2. Girls and women sexually abuse relatives in a small percentage of cases. Although many boys are also sexually abused (mostJy by male relatives), the vast majority of incest victims are female, and the vast majority of incest perpetratoB are male (Russell and Finkelhor, 1984). 3. Afrikaners are white South African descendants of the early Dutch, German and Huguenot settlers. (See Glossary for this and other unfamiliar South African terminology). 4. For a discussion of the politics of white feminists conducting research on black South African women, see Russell, 1995e. 5. The offspring of such intermarriages usually identify themselves as belong· ing to one of these groups rather than describing themselves as having a mixed heritage. 6. In both these cases, the incestuous abuse continued after their arrival in South Africa, otherwise they would not have been included in the study. The interview with one survivor who immigrated from Zimbabwe was excluded for this reason. 7. The exception was due to a faulty tape recorder. 8. Shorter versions of two of the five cases have been published (Russell, 1993a; Russell, 1993c; Russell, 1995d), as also were two cases that are not included here (Russell, 1995a; Russell, 1995b). 9. Interestingly, two out of four of the black incest survivors interviewed also had no objection to using their real names. Both of them were so-called coloured women. 10. Although I identified myself as a white English-speaking South African at the beginning of this chapter, I found it necessary to consult with another member of this heterogeneous group regarding what term best describes us. When in South Africa, I used the term 'English South African' without focusing on the fact that many people in this so-called group do not have British ancestry. My consultant, Kenneth Carstens, recommended the term 'English-speaking' South African as more appropriate., especially for an international readership. ll. Many of the politically active coloured people have rejected this label and refer to themselves instead as 'black' or as 'so-called coloured'. 12. This is not to say that Western nations are dealing with the problem satisfac• torily. Indeed, they are currently in the grip of a major backlash initiated by the false memory movement. 13. For a thorough documentation of this statement, see Russell, 1995c. 14. The categories included in this definition also apply to relatives who are half, rather than full, blood relations. 15. Most of this section was previously published in Russell, 1995e. 173 174 Notes 16. The pound and dollar value of rands does not reftect their buying power within South Africa. 17. For a more detailed description of the authoritarian and sexist system of justice in South Africa. see Russell, 1995e.

2 'IT FELT SO GOOD TO STAB MY FATHER'' NIDA WEBBER'S STORY

I. I initiated a television documentary on incestuous abuse in South Africa in 1991 in which three of the women I had interviewed told their stories. It was shown on the MNET channel many months later.

3 'KILL ME, RATHER!': ELSA FOSTER'S STORY

I. Researcher and psychiatrist June Goodwin maintains that the simultaneous occurrence of incestuous abuse and 'hysterical epilepsy' -both very uncom• mon conditions- 'suggests a causal link' between them (1982, p. 101). In all six of the cases Goodwin located, the survivors 'experienced relief from their hysterical seizures when psychotherapy began to explore the incest experience' (1982, p. 104). Goodwin also mentions that 'all six of these teenagers had either threatened or attempted suicide' (1982, p. 172). Elsa also attempted suicide twice (to be described shortly). 2. Andre is Elsa's adopted half-brother- the adopted son of her biological father by his second wife.

4 'THERE'S A SIGN ON MY FOREHEAD SAYING, "ABUSE ME!"': MARIE MALAN'S STORY

I. In 1993, Marie found out that Willie had also sexually abused Beatrix. 2. Since sexual assault by relatives is the criterion for differentiating incest survivors from women with no incest history, rape by relatives must be excluded from this comparison. 3. My application of Finkelhor and Browne's theory to explain revictimisa• tion is more fully explicated in Russell, 1986. 4. In countries where wife rape is illegal, like Britain, South Africa and many states in the , the criminalisation of marital rape is still rela• tively new. (According to , an expert on marital rape in USA, wife rape is sti!l not a crime in 33 states 'if she's asleep, drunk, drugged, uncon• scious or otherwise legally unable to consent due to a particular dlsability.lt is illegal in all 50 states only when force or weapons are used in the com• mission of the rape' [Allen, \996, p. 1].) Many of the citizens of these coun• tries are ignorant of these legal reforms, and for those who know about them. attitudes cannot be expected to keep pace with the Jaw. 5. 'Foreplay' is in quotes because this word implies that sexual touching is just a prelude to intercourse. In reality, what men consider foreplay is often the climax of pleasure for women (see Hite, 1976). Notes 175

6. While some progressive people reject a pejorative view of prostituted women, the term whore was clearly used in a denigrating fashion in Marie's family.

5 1HE MAKING OF A WHORE: LARA NEWMAN'S STORY

1. Over a year after this interview, Lara told me that she had found out that her grandfather had raped her cousin much more frequently than he'd raped Lara. Living in the same city gave him much greater access to Lara's cousin, who, Lara said, continues to experience many severe problems as a result of these assaults. Lara noted that her cousin had the same phobic reac• tion as Lara to the smell of a disinfectant called TCP (Lara's reaction to be described shortly). This detail authenticates both of their experiences. Lara also learned that her grandfather had molested other young girls in his neighbourhood. These discoveries ended her illusion that she had been the only little girl in her grandfather's life. 2. Lara said she wanted to prosecute Dr Kruger for sexually exploiting her when she turned to him for help, but her efforts have so far proved un• successful, so his name has had to be changed. 3. The name of a covert unit of the army used for assassination and dirty tricks. 4. David Webster was a well-known anti-apartheid activist who was murdered by theCCB. 5. An earlier version of this chapter was rejected by the The South African Sociological Review in 1993 in part because of this politically sensitive information. In find it reprehensible that an allegedly progressive journal would opt to suppress this material. 6. Valkenberg is a notorious mental hospital in Cape Town. 7. The term 'dissociation' refers to a psychological defence whereby an indi• vidual is able to split her/himself off from her/his bodily experiences. Many incest victims dissociate during the sexual assaults.

6 THE DIVINE RIGHT OF THE FATHER: ELSAB:E GROENEWALD'S STORY

1. Elsabe's intense fear reveals the deep animosity and suspicion that charac• terises the relationship between Afrikaners and English-speaking South Africans, particularly in the past.

7 CONCLUSION: PATERNAL DESPOTISM IN PRlVATE AND PUBUCLIFE

I. 'Women of Vision', a PBS-TV programme based on personal interviews with several women writers, which aired on 4 April 1995, is the source of this quotation. 2. I use this phrase from time to time as a reminder that white women have also been excluded from playing a significant role in shaping government policies in South Africa. 176 Notes 3. The word 'kaffir' is a derogatory word for Africans equivalent to the word nigger in the United States. 4. The religious background of four of the remaining six Afrikaner survivors in my sample was Dutch Refonned Church (see Appendix). 5. 'Baas' is Afrikaans for boss- the term of address black people are expected to use for all Afrikaner men, not just their male Afrikaner employers. Young Afrikaner males are often referred to in the diminutive 'Baasie'. Black domestic workers are expected to call their English-speaking male employ• ers 'Master,' and their female employers 'Madam'. Employers' daughters are typically addressed with 'Miss' preceding their first names, and 'Master' preceding the first name is considered the appropriate fonn of address for employers' sons. 6. My four brothers, for example, all managed to avoid being drafted without any difficulty. 7. Of course, some people respond to adversity, including very extreme adver• sity, by becoming even more exemplary human beings, for example, many of the individuals who fought against apanheid despite the horrendous suf• fering this brought them (see Russell, 1989, for many moving examples of extraordinarily courageous women anti-apanheid activists). 8. Du Toil's racist and sexist article was published by the prestigious South Africa-based Oxford University Press as recently as 1990. 9. The murder of wives and children by their husbands is the only form of that has attracted more than a token amount of scholarly attention in South Africa. But the expressed in this crime- frequently motivated by the husband's anger towards his wife for leaving him or threatening to leave him - is totally obscured by the terms 'family murder' and 'familicide' used in this literature. Misogyny is also erased from several male scholars' analyses of this phenomenon. For example, although J. A. K. Erasmus found 'the loss of a love-object to strongly prevail in most cases of familicide', he does not address the misog• ynistic implications of this finding (cited by du Toit, \990, p. 299). Nevenheless. the literature on familicide, most of it in Afrikaans, is extremely revealing in unintended ways about the relationship between Afrikaner patriarchs' racial politics and their behaviour in their homes. 10. In a 10-year newspaper survey on familicides from 1978 to 1987, criminolo• gist Roland Graser (who uses the term 'family murder') found that 67 per cent of the perpetrators were males and 33 per cent were females (persona] communication, 30 March 1995). II. Du Toit notes that other writers suggest that 'Pressure from outside the country, such as sanctions, might precipitate desperate acts by individuals' [i.e., familicide] (1990, p. 290). This dubious explanation reveals a typical white South African tendency to blame outside forces for undesirable reali• ties that develop there. 12. The fourth and most recent draft of the South African constitution bans dis• crimination 'directly and indirectly' on grounds of 'race, gender, sex, marital status, ethnic or social origin, color, sexual orientation, age, disabil• ity, religion, conscience, belief, culture, language and binh' (San Francisco Examiner, 1996, p. A\3). While this uniquely ambitious list of rights to be guaranteed by the new constitution is commendable, the fact remains that racism, and homophobia are among the forms of oppression that remain deeply entrenched in South Africa. References

Donna Allen, 'Date/Marital Rape Fact Correction', WIFP Associates News You Can Use (Washington DC: Women's Institute for Freedom of the Press Newsletter, March 1996). Louise Annstrong, Kiss Daddy Goodnight (New York: Hawthorn Books, 1978). Christopher Bagley and Loretta Young, 'Juvenile and Child Sexual Abuse: A Controlled Study', Canadian Journal of Community Mental Health 6, I (1987) 5-26. Chris Bateman, "'Big Rise in Township Child Sex-Abuse Cases", Says Hospital', Cape Times (26 January 1991). Lauretta Bender and Abram Blau, 'The Reaction of Children to Sexual Relations with Adults', American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 7 (1937) 500-18. Hilda Bernstein, For Their Triumphs and Their Tears: Women in. Apartheid South Africa (London: International Defence and Aid Fund for Southern Africa, 1975). John Briere, Child Sexual Abuse Trauma: Theory mtd Treatment of the Lasting Effects (Newbury Park, California: Sage Publications, 1992). Angela Browne and David Finkelhor, 'Initial and Long-Term Effects: A Review of the Literature', in David Finkelhor (ed.), Sourcebook on Child Sexual Abuse (Beverly Hills, California: Sage Publications, 1986) 143-79. Jane Caputi, The Age of Sex Crime (Bowling Green, Ohio: Bowling Green State University Popular Press, 1987). Dee Clarke, 'A Woman with a Sword: Some Thoughts on Women, , and Violence', in Nikki Craft (ed.), 'Nemesis: Justice is a Woman with a Sword' (unpublished manuscript, 1992a). Dee Clarke, 'Retaliation: The Feminist Taboo', in Nikki Craft (ed.), 'Nemesis: Justice is a Woman with a Sword' (unpublished manuscript, 1992b). Jacklyn Cock, 'Keeping the Fires Burning: Militarisation and the Politics of Gender in South Africa', unpublished paper, Black Sash National Conference (1988). Jacklyn Cock, 'Manpower and Militarisation: Women and the SADF', in Jacklyn Cock and Laurie Nathan, (eds), War and Society: The Militarisation of South Africa (Cape Town: David Philip, 1989). J. M. Cohen and M. J. Cohen, Penguin Dictionary of Quotations (Hannondsworth. Middlesex: Penguin Books1 1960). G. Cronje and J. D. Venter, Die Patriargale Familie: 'N Kultuursosiologiese Studie (Cape Town: HAUM, 1958). Kevin Danaher, In Whose Interest? A Guide to US-South Africa Relations (Washington, DC: Institute of Policy Studies, 1984). J. T. de Jongh van Arlee!, 'Gesinsmoord: 'N Toenemende Verskynsel', UN/SA Bulletin 13,4 (1988) II. Marq de Villiers, White Tribe Dreaming (New York: Penguin Books, 1987). S. I. du Toit, 'Family Violence: Familicide', in Brian McKendrick and Wilma Hoffman (eds), People and Violence in South Africa (Cape Town: Oxford University Press, 1990).

177 178 References , 'Mass Murder: The of Killing Women', Speech at the. Universite de Montreal (7 December 1990). Kathleen Faller, Child Sexual Abuse (New York: Columbia University Press, 1988). and Nanna Hotaling, 'Prostitution, Violence, and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder'. Paper presented at the NGO Forum, Fourth World Conference on Women, Beijing (4 September 1995) available from PO Box 16254, San Francisco, California 9416, USA. David Finkelhor and Angela Browne, 'Initial and Long-Term Effects: A Conceptual Framework', in David Finkelhor (ed.), Sourcebook on Child Sexual Abuse (Beverly Hills, California: Sage Publications, 1986) 180-98. Hermann Giiiomee, 'The Growth of Afrikaner Identity', in Heribert Adam and Hermann Giliomee, (eds), The Rise and Crisis ofAfrikaner Power (Cape Town: David Philip, 1979). Evelina Giobbe, 'Connections Between Prostitution and ', Whisper 7 (1993) 2, 9. June Goodwin, Sexual Abuse: Incest Victims and Their Families (Boston: John Wright, 1982). Roland Graser, A Study of Selected Cases of Family Murder in South A/rica (Pretoria: Human Sciences Research Council, 1992). Judith Herman, Father-Daughter Incest (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1981). Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Dell Publishing, 1976). Jennifer James and Jane Meyerding, 'Early Sexual Experiences and Prostitution', American Journal of Psychiatry 134 (1977a) 1381-5. Jennifer James and Jane Meyerding, 'Early Sexual Experiences as a Factor in Prostitution', Archives of Sexual Behavior 7 ( 1977b) 31-42. N. Makabane, 'Sex Slave: Girl (15) Held in Soweto', The Sowetan (14 February 1992) l. Rian Malan, My Traitor's Heart (New York: The Atlantic Monthly Press, 1990). Jeffrey Masson, The Assault on Truth: Freud's Suppression of the Seduction Theory (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1984). Allison Morris and Ania Wilczynski. 'Rocking the Cradle: Mothers Who Kill Their Children', in Helen Birch (ed.), Moving Targets: Women, Murder and Representation (Berkeley, California: University of California Press, 1994) 198-217. John Stuart Mill, The Subjection of Women (1869), in Alice Rossi (ed.}, Essays in Sex Equality (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press. 1970) 125-242. Patricia Mrazek and Amon Bentovim, 'Incest and the Dysfunctional Family System', in Patricia Mrazek and C. Henry Kempe (eds), Sexually Abused Children and Their Families (New York: Pergamon Press, 1981) 167-78. Mildred Pagelow, Family Violence (New York: Praeger, 1984). R. Pretorius, 'Gesinsmoord in die Republiek van Suid-Africka - 'N Misplaaste Sin van Plig en Verantwoordelikheid?' [Family Murder in the Republic of South Africa- A Misplaced Sense of Duty and Responsibility?] South African Journal of Criminal Law and Criminology 2, 2 (1987) 135-41. Jill Radford and Diana E. H. Russell (eds), : The Politics of Woman· Killing (New York: Twayne Publishing, 1992). References 179 , 'Misplaced Editorial', Valley Women's Voice (Summer 1990) 5. Grant Robertson, Sexual Abuse of Children in South Africa (Hammanskraal: Unibook, 1989). , The Best Kept Secret: Sexual Abuse of Children (Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, 1980). Diana E. H. Russell, Sexual Exploitation: Rape, Child Sexual Abuse, and Workplace Harassment (Beverly Hills, Califomla: Sage Publications, 1984). Diana E. H. Russell, The Secret Trauma: Incest in the Lives of Girls and Women (New York: Basic Books, \986). Diana E. H. Russell, Lives of Courage: Women for a New South Africa (New York: Basic Books, 1989). Diana E. H. Russell, Rape in Marn"age (Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University Press, 1990). Diana E. H. Russell, 'Rape and Child Sexual Abuse in Soweto: An Interview with Community Leader Mary Mabaso', South African Sociological Review 3, 2 (199\) 62-83. Diana E. H. Russell, 'Bloedskande: Die Donk.er Geheime van die Boerepatriarge' [Incest The Dark Side of the Afrikaner Patriarch], Vrye Weekblad (29 January-4 February 1993a) 22-3. Diana E. H. Russell, 'The Divine Right of the Father: Incest in the White Afrikaner Tribe', 23, 3 (1993b) 10-11. Diana E. H. Russell, 'A Political Approach to Incestuous Abuse', in Children for Africa: Second African Conference on Child Abuse and Neglect (Cape Town: South African Society for the Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect, University of Cape Town, 1994a) 170-6. Diana E. H. Russell, 'Wife Rape and Battery as Torture', in Saras Jagwanth, Pamela• Jane Schwikkard and Brenda Grant (eds), Women and th"e /..nw (Pretoria, South Africa: Human Sciences Research Council Publishers, 1994b) 324-46. Diana E. H. Russell, 'From Nazi Germany to South Africa: A Personal Story of Incest and "Necklace" Murder', The Journal of Psychohistory 23, 1 (Summer, 1995a) 73-91. Diana E. H. Russell, '"I Didn't Remember for 33 Years": An Incest Survivor Te11s Her Story', The Jourool of Psychohistory 23,2 (Fall, 1995b) 149-90. Diana E. H. Russell, Incestuous Abuse: Its Long Term Effects (Pretoria, South Africa: Human Sciences Research Council Publishers, 1995c). Diana E. H. RusseJI, 'The Making of a Whore', Violence Against Women: An International and Interdisciplinary Jourool I, I (1995d) 77-98. Diana E. H. Russell, 'Towards Justice for Incest Survivors in the New South Africa: Some Proposals', Agenda: Empowering Women for Gender Equity, no. 27 (October, 1995e) 62-73. Diana E. H. RusseU, 'Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Politics of White Feminists Conducting Research on Black Women in South Africa', Feminism and Psychology 6, 2 (1996) 176-80. Diana E. H. Russell and David Finkelhor, 'The Gender Gap Among Perpetrators of Child Sexual Abuse', in Diana E. H. Russell, Sexual Exploitation: Rape, Child Sexual Abuse, and Workplace Harassment (Beverly Hills, California: Sage Publications, 1984) 215-31. Janice Russell, Out of Bounds: Sexual Exploitation in Counselling and Therapy (Newbury Park, California: Sage Publications, 1993). \80 References San Francisco Examiner, 'South African Legislators Use Internet, Web Page to Forge Constitution', in World section (31 March 1996), Al3. Annette Seegers, 'Towards an Understanding of the Afrikanerisation of the South African State', unpublished paper, Cape Town: Department of Political Studies, University of Cape Town (1990/1). Robert Shell, Children of Bondage: A Social History of the Slave Sockty at the Cape of Good Hope, 1652-1838 (Hanover, New Hampshire: University Press of New England, 1994). S. Mimi Silbert and Ayala Pines, 'Sexual Child Abuse as an Antecedent to Prostitution', ChildAbu.se and NeglectS (1981) 407-11. C. R. Snyman, Criminal Law (2nd Edition) (Durban, South Africa: Butterworths, 1989). Murray Straus, Richard Gelles and Suzanne Steinmetz, Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family (Garden City, New York: Doubleday, 1980). Cherry] Walker, 'The Women's Suffrage Movement: The Politics of Gender, Race and Class', in Cherry! Walker (ed.), Women and Gender in Southern Africa to 1945 (Cape Town: David Philip, 1990) 313-45. Francis Wilson and Mamphele Ramphele, Uprooting Poverty: The South African Challenge (Cape Town: David Philip, 1989). Index

Note: {1) indicates a table on the page cited.

abuse self-interest 160-5 physical 40-1 sexism 160--8 of power 168, 169 Afrikaner daughters sexual 42-8, 91, 97, 98-100, duty to obey their fathers 155 131-2, 173 Afrikaner families verbal 137 compared with English-speaking $ee also incestuous abuse South African families 7, abusive relationships 58-9, 117 father-child 16-17,61-2,121-2, hierarchy 155 124-6 sexual slavery 89 husband-wife 16, 27-8,40, 72-4, Afrikaner men 123, 134-5 and brutality 3, 154--60 mother-child 117.120-1 compared with English-speaking academic performance see schools South African men 7, 35, 58, addiction 56. 75, 136-7 15

181 182 Index

Afrikaner men - co11tillued of blacks 154,163 duty to treat husbands with blamed mother for 22, 68 reverence 155 by brother 47 earnings 38.40,42,61,159 callous with regard to 20 family role 16, 31, 32, 40, 43, 45, as cause of injury 120, 125 89, 158-9 as cause of running away from home kept from competing with Afrikaner 62 men 158-9, 161, 163-4 dismissed as acceptable 20 violent resistance by 7, 13, 20, 21, by (step)father 7,16-17,19-20, 34, 43, 45, 121, 123-5, 143-5 21, 24,32-3,47, 61, 64, 68, see also daughters; mothers 122,124-6, 130 aftermath of incestuous abuse 22-9, fear of 122 48-56,69-77, 100--10, 132--41, by husband 27-8, 32, 40, 41, 86, 163-4 122, 123, 167 age of incest survivors at onset 5, 17, by incest survivor 19-20,47,120 40,42,64,92, 126,164, 171n1 incestuous abuse as risk factor for AIDS \02, 115 34 Allen, Donna 174 by lover 25, 34 Amnesty International -86-7 minister's reaction to report of 20, anal intercourse see sodomy 33 Anglicanism 90, 155, 170 by mother 53, 54,61-2,96, 120-1 Angola 162 mother tolerates 19-20, 32-3, 126, anti-apartheid activists 1-2, 176 143 anti-depressants 50, 56, 74, 108 mother tried to stop 16--17, 33, apartheid xiii, l-2, 12, 152-3, 163-4, 125 166 for no reason 41, 61 Apostolic 170 police reaction to reports of 33, Faith Mission 199 167 New Apostolic Church 14 during pregnancy 25, 27-8 Annstrong, Louise 147 reasons for 41,64 assassination plots 5, 99-100, retaliation to 19-20,21, 121, 110-11,175 124-5, 143 Auerbach, Margaret 146 with sjambok xiv, 19, 20, 40, 43, authoritarianism 34-S, 38, SS--9, 61, 163 151-64 Beaufort West 123 Bender, Laurette 111 baby: burned 120, 156 Bemovim, Amon 31 Bagley, Christopher 112 Bernstein, Hilda 152, 153 Baptist 170 betrayal 79, 80-1 battered women 3 bitchiness 100 by husbands I 6, 27-8, 40, 72-4, b1ack(s) 173 86, 123, 134-5, 142, !67 Africa 10 shelters for 146 Africans II, 151-4 syndrome 146 brutality and violence against 1, 3, as torture victims 86, 87 20, 99, 151-4,161, 162, 163; battering of women 3, 27-8, 38 kilfferpak 154 beat(ing) definition xiii by Afrikaner men, of women 25 exploitation of I, 7,152-3, 161 attempt to provoke 53 hostility to police 135 Index 183

incest survivors 4, 173 protect sisters 19,122,124 oppressed 2, 9, ll, 176 protected by sisters 124, 142, 143 'peril' 11 step- 9, 149,171(T) SouthAfricans 11,151 Browne, Angela 79-82, 113 whose mother tongue is Afrikaans brutality 3 8 domestic 154-60 see also apartheid raciaJ 1, 20, 99, 151--4, 161, 162, black women 163 Afrikaner men's sense of entitlement see also battering of women; to dominate and exploit 7 beat(ing); violence atrocities on 7, 99, 162 bulimia 75-6 exploitationof 152-3,161 blackmail 40 Campling, Jo ix see also kill(ing), threats to CapeTown 1,4, ll, 13,14,38,49, blackouts 44, 138 60, 63, 90, 127 blaming Bothasig 22 mother 22,31-2,64,95-8, 104, Goodwood 118, 119 126, 130 Groote Schuur Hospital 50,71 self 55, 82, 88 Parow 36 victim 51-2, Ill Rape Crisis Centre 149 Blau, Abram Ill Valkenberg Hospital 71,100, 108, body image 55, 57 175 Boer War II, 121 Victoria HospitaJ 71,73 Boers xiii, 38, 121, 134, 148-9 Caputi, Jane 116 see also Afrikaner(s) Carstens, Kenneth ix Boesak., Alan tOO Carter, Bridget 157 boy• caste system 10 militarisation 162-3 see also apartheid sex abuse by 47. 173 Catholic church 100, 155 see also brothers champions, women resisters 146-7 bribery 44, 64--S, 94, 101-2, 113 children Briere, John 34 African, detained by police 153 Britain/England I, II, 13, 14 dependence 87, 161, 168-9 BritishfEnglish I, 8, 35, !58 of incest survivors 26, 28, 31, ancestry 7, 8, II 47-8,51, 109-10, 132, 137, colonialism II 140, 170(1') immigrants I, II powerlessness 64--5,79, 80, 169 setliers 10-11, ISS who became prostitutes 112-13 brothers 129, 130, 138 responsibility for rearing 38, 40, abused 16, 87, 89, 122, 124 84-5, 159 half- 39. 69 see also daughters incestuous abuse of sisters 47, 62, Christian helpline 72-3 66-7,68,69, 78,80,82,87. Christianity 119, 137, 139, 152, 155 171(1) church see religion violent behaviour to sisters 47, 67, CiviiCooperationBureau 99-100,175 87, 89, 124; murder attempt Clanwilliam 119 62 Clarke, Dee 145 preferred to girls/better treated 16, class, social 14, 37, 91, 157, 170(T) 68, 83, 120, 122 see also poverty 184 Index classism 10 dependence, economic 87, 161 , Cock,Jacklyn 155,162 168-9 Cohen, J. M. and M. J. 168 depression 23, 28, 53,54--6,70-1, Coleman, Audrey 153 73, 108, 136 collusion deprivation of physic a] affection 91, doctor 21 117,156-7 family/institutional 33 despotism, paternal I, 7, 117 minister 20, 33 Detainees' Parents' Support mothers 16, 19-20,32-3, 143 Committee 153 social workers 128 dirtiness, feeling of 30, 107, 133 coloured(s) xiii,8, 135,178 disabled: in wheelchairs 37, 40, 41, conscription 162-3 42,45,48,57 cousins 47 disability in incestuous abuse 37, step- 45, 17l(T) 57-8 Craft. Nikki 145 disclosure and reports of abuse criminology 146--7 18-19,20,46,48,66,68,95-8, Cronje, G. 154, 155 128-31, 168 cystitis 97 on TV 30-1 discrimination 176 damage, effects of 163-4 see also apartheid; racism: sexism human beings easier to oppress dissociation 18, 46,55-6, 114, 175 163 divorce 29, 37, 44, 48, 63, 64, 73, incestuous abuse 90, 163-4 126, 141-2, 170(T) mothering ability 110, 164 doctors 21, 24, 44, 72,100, 108 sexism 163-4 duty to report abuse 21 as wife 110 domestic workers (maids) 62, 148, 'damagedgoods' 81 161, 176 Danaher, Kevin 152 drunkenness 18, 25, 26, 28, 63, 119, daughters 122 eldest or only 84, 85, 142 Du Toil, S. I. 165-7, 176 fathers' claimed entitlement to 43, Durban 90, 92, 93, 95, 101 46,88-9, 119. 127. 147-8, Dutch 158-9, 162 colonialism 11 household duties \6, 24 settlers xiii, 8, 166,173 as mother-surrogate 38, 40, 84-5, see also Afrikaner(s) 142-3, 159, 160 Dutch East India Company II of survivors of abuse 98,109-10, Dutch Reformed Church I 19, 133, 132, 137 135, 150, 153,154 as wife-substitute 84-5, 127, 142, Dworkin, Andrea 146 148 De Klerk, Marike 159 East London I 0 De Villiers, Marq 151 eating disorders 75-6, 163 De Villiers, Wessels 132 ejaculation 102 death(s) 70, 95, 122 emotional blackouts 44, 138 see also suicide attempts English-speaking South Africans dehumanising 4, 162-3 authoritarianism 156-7 psychic murder II 0 definition xiii, 8, 173 Democratic Party II incest 5 denial 135-6 patriarchy 58-9, I 17 Index 185 racism 12 violence 16-17,61-2, 121-2, religion 152, 155 124-6 violence 117 word as law 38, 81, 148-9, 158, see also Newman, Lara 159 entitlement, sense of see also entitlement; paternalism; domestic 16, 24,155, 159 patriarchy political 154-5 feeling, suppressed 56, 105-6, lOS sexual 43,46,88-9,119,147-8, femicide 146 158--9, 161-2 feminism 2, 173 epilepsy xiii, 44,49-50, 138. 174 fightingspirit 119,120,123-5, Erasmus,J. A. K. 176 143-5 ethnicity 4, 11,13,38,91,117 films, women in 103, 146 incest survivors l70-2(Ts) Finkelhor, David 79-82, 113, 173 incestuous abuse 4-5,91 flashbacks 76, 107 see also Afrikaner(s) fondling and touching 9, 17-18, 64, European: as white xiii, 8 92,93, 106, 172(1) see also British; Dutch; Gennan; breasts 42-3,45, 94,95 settlers genitals 9, 17,42-3,93, 95 excessive desire to please 164 foreplay 81, 94, 174 exploitation forgiveness 136, 139, 140-1 in families 159 Poster, Elsa 7, 32, 34, 36-8, 149, racism I, 7, 152-3, 161-2 155, 156,157,158 sexual 3, 116,148, 161;through abuse, rest of family 47-8 prostitution 116-17; by abused 42-6 therapists 91, 98-100 aftermath 48-56 extrafamilial child sexual abuse analysis 57-9, 83-5 45-6,79, 131-2 authoritarianism 155 family background 38-42 Faller, Kathleen ix, 85, 169 healing 56-7 familicide 165-8, 176 resistance 13, 43, 45, 144 families stepfather Hoffie 42-4, 48 impact of incest 69-70, 104 see also Malan, Marie incest-prone 85-6 foster families 169 ordinal position of victims 82, 83, Freud, Sigmund Ill 84--5, 124--5, 142-3 patriarchaVpaternalistic 155-6 116 torture 88-9 see also feminism; sexism see also Afrikaner families gender terrorism 146 familymurder 165-7,176 German settlers xiii, 4, 8, 173 Farley, Melissa 115, 116 Gibson, Dr 74 fathers 7, 13,63-4,81 Giliomee, Hermann 151 abuse children 16-17,61-2, Giobbe, Evelina 114 121-2, 124-6 girls blamed for desertion 61 sex abuse by 47-8, 109, 173 daughters' duty to obey 155 see also daughters rights 89, 118-19, 127, 131, Goodwin, June 85, 86, 174 147-8, !58 grandfather, abusive 89,90-5,96-9, step- 6, 7, 13, 33-4, 42-4,48, 63, 101,104,105-15,117 64---6, 138--9, 17l(T) Graser, Roland 165,167, 176 I 86 Index Groenewald, Elsabe 7, 13, 84, 85, immigrants I, 8,1 I, 173 118-20, 156,157,\58 marriage 4 aftermath 132--40 impotence 58 analysis 142-50 inability to concentrate 23, 164 family background 120-6 inability to feel 56, 105-6, 108 healing 140-1 incest: legal definition 9-10 incest and violence 126-31 see also incest survivor.>; incestuous marriage 134-5, 141-2 abuse; victims of incest resistance 121, 123-5, 143-5 incest survivors 3-6 sexualabuse 131-2 career problems 50, 60, 69, 77, 80, sexual abuse, rest of family 131 l 10, 164 guardianship, racial 166 differences in coping 38, 83-5 guilt: mother's 46, 52 ethnicity 170-2 of perpetrator 139 family relationships 22-4, 69-70, after sex 25 104 of victim 53,55,81,82,93, 103, fighting spirit I 19, 120, 123-5, 107, 112-13, 133, 136, 137; 143-5 see also self-blame healing struggles 30. 5(r7, 77-8, gun• I 10, 140--1 ownership 163 legal system 10 shot 125 marriage 25-9, 50-2, 104-6. threats with 40, 43, 44, 61, 68, 69, 114-15, 129, 134-5,141-2 115, !39 ordinal position in family 82, 83, gynaecologist: attitude to women 72 84-5, 124-5, 142-3 own children 26. 28, 31. 47-8, 51, half-brother 39,69 109-10, 132. 137, 140, 170(T) half-sister 39,47-8 protecting siblings 127--8, 130, Hanmer. Jalna h: 142-3 Hartenbos 131 real names used 5-6, 7 hatred 141 religion 14,37-8,73, 74, 77,119, ofmother 57 \33, 135, 141 parental 120, 126 revictimised 78--83,\69. 174 of women (misogyny) I 16, 163, school work 23,76-7, 164 176 sexuality 24-5, 29. 34. 49-50. headaches 44,56 71-4 Hennan,Judith ix,\,31,85, 111-12, sexually repressive upbringing 91, 114. 142-3, 147, 158, 164, 169 96 Hermon, Cape Province 119, 125 social class 14.37,91,157, 170(T) Hite, Shere !74 stereotypes challenged 34 homophobia 10. 168. 176 therapy 30, 50, 55. 5(r1, 77-8 horror stories 78 see also victims of incest Hotaling,Norma 115,116 incestuous abuse 1, 3, 4, 8-9, Huguenot settlers xiii, 8, 173 170-2 Human Sciences Research Council, acceptance as norm 44, 65 S.A. ix,173 aftermath 22-9,48-56,69-77, hypotheses l-4 \00-10,132-41 hysterectomy 61, 138 definition 9-10 disclosure and reports 18-19,20, identity 102, 109, \36 46,48,66,68,95-8,128-31, Afrikaner 8 168;onTV 30-1 Index 187 duration 5, 17l(T) dreams of 73 ethnicity 4-5,91 familicide 165-8,176 frequency 5, 171(T) femicide 146 family proneness 85-6 misogynist 116, 163, 176 instances 17-22, 42-6, 64, 92-8, riskofbeingkilled 41,168 126-31 serial 115, 116 onset 5, 17,40,42,64,92, 126, threats to kill 17, 18,28,40,41, 164, 171(1') 43.44,61,65,68,69,87-8, power from 55, 141 123, 156,167 and prostitution 90, 101-4, videos of 65, 80 112-15 kissing 93, 94, 157 psychological damage 164 knives 6, 28,115, 123 same-sex 9 stabbing 7, 13,21 secrecy 65, 95-8 Kruger, Dr Chris 98-100, 107, 110. statistics 3, 4, 170--2 (Ts) 112, 175 see also mothers; perpetrators; violence labour, sexual division 158-9 Indian xiii Last Exit to Brooklyn (film) 103 domestic workers 62, 148, 161, law(s) 176 children's entrapment by 87, girl on pornographic video 45 168 infantilizing 108 re; jobs 161 innocence, lost 46, 47, 101-4 re: prostitution 116 institutional collusion 33 re: sexual acts 9, 10 interviews 4--6,35,60--1,91 see also legal system audiotape of 4, 5 Leeu-Gamkalike 119 duration 6 legal system location of 5, 6, 60,91 prosecution 10, 46 read and corrected by incest South African 9-10,46 survivors 6, 30 see also law(s) transcribed 6 LeRtegeurHospital 71,74 isolation, feelings of 81-2 Lepine, Marc 146 Israeli 4 lesbians 134 incest survivor 149 James, Jennifer 112-13 number in sample 170{T) jealousy 47, 53, 54, 66,69-70, tendencies 108 138-9, 143 liberation movement in South Africa job problems 50, 60, 69, 77, 80, 110, 1-2,147 164 Lifeline 72 Johannesburg 90, 146 Lighthouse Fellowship 119 Little, JoAnn 146 kafferpak (savage bearing of black Londt, Marcel ix people by whites) !54 love Karoo 119, 121, 122, 128 cynkism about men's declarations Kenilworth Clinic 71, 73,108 of 68 Khoi people II deprivation of parental 15, 40, 42, kill(ing) (murder) 63, 145, 146-7, 52,117,120 163 desire for 53, 82 attempt by brother 62 fatherly 42, 64 desire to 34 ofGod 142 188 Index love- continued Masson, Jeffrey 1! l inability to feel lOS masturbation 17,99,104 inability to show 52 memory loss 23, 48 less demonstrated by English• m