Meliorist Student Newspaper of The University of Lethbridge • Volume 38 Issue 30 • www.themeliorist.com • Thursday, 9 June, 2005 THK MK1.IORIST I Thursday, 9 June, 2005 I Page 02 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

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JOBS, JOBS, JOBS!!! SUMMER FULL-TIME

Career & Employment Services (CES) Current opportunities with deadlines - Parks Canada Agency, Waterton - Safety City Society of Lethbridge and Development Intern (June 10) is a student service office dedicated to in brackets: Lakes National Park - Heritage Area - Safety Instructor (June 15) - Headwaters Equipment Sales Ltd., assisting students and graduates with Communicator. Must be bilingual. - SemBioSys Genetics Inc., Calgary Lethbridge - Advertising Copywriter their career planning and job search. PART-TIME (June 14) - Research Assistant/Associate (ASAP) - The Kerby Centre, Calgary - - Arabidopsis Transformation. June - more positions on the website!! We are very grateful to the staff of - URGENT! Personal Care Attendant Summer Students, Adult Day Support 27) The Meliorist for allowing us space for young woman with cerebral palsy Program. (ASAP!) - Concentra Financial, Saskatoon Applied Studies Opportunities to contribute to each issue and in I-ethbridge 35-70 hours per month - Peak Summer Activity Program, - Senior Auditor (June 10) Earn course credit while you provide you with some great leads (ASAP!) Lethbridge - Community - ABA Therapist for young Lethbridge volunteer! Deadline to use any of on employment opportunities and - Tutor needed for Grade 11 Pure Rehabilitation Worker (ASAP) boy with Autism. (July 31) these positions as an Applied Study is ,h information about our services. Math, Lethbridge (ASAP!) - Friends of Medalta Society, Medicine - Grasslands Group, Sales and Friday, June io ! - Canadian Forces Personnel Support Hat - Pottery Collections Coordinator Marketing Coordinator for Swift - Chinook Country Tourist Association, These summer issues comprise a Agency, Edmonton - Cooks, Cashiers, (ASAP!) Current client (ASAP) Lethbridge - Project 1: Southwest SAMPLING ONLY of some of the Lifeguards and Instructors, Bartender - Okanagan Hockey School - - Korn/Ferry International - Senior Alberta Vacation Guide - Marketing & good positions posted on CES Jobs (June 12) Supervisory Staff, Part-time Camp Associate/Associate (ASAP) Advertising; Project 2: Website Design Online through workopolisCampus. - Total Comfort Solution Inc., Counsellors, Goalie Facilitator/ - RJS Associates Inc., Markham, ON & Information Management; Project com. If you're not registered, email us Cardston - Video/Website Developer Lecturer, Goalie Instructors (June 9) - Inside Account Managers (ASAP) 3: Membership Needs Assessment; at [email protected] with (June 15) - Williams Moving & Storage, - Government of Nunavut, Igloolik - Project 4: Industry Member Site your student ID number and we'll - GoodLife Fitness Clubs, Lethbridge Lethbridge - Furniture Movers Wildlife Biologist II, Legislation and - Website Design. All projects have send you all the information you need - various positions for new women's (ASAP) Management (June 17) their own deadlines as well. to view them. club. (ASAP) - Sundance Lodges Campground - Association of Universities and Need help with your job search - more on the website!! in Kananaskis Country - various Colleges of Canada - Finnish- or career planning? Come in to seasonal staff (ASAP) Canadian Trainee Exchange Program CES in B6io or email us at CCS. - more on the website!! (ASAP) [email protected]. - Town of Chestermere - Safety Policy

An autonomous body, separate from the U of L Students' Union - SU-166, 4401 University Drive West, Lethbridge, AB TlK 3M4 The Meliorist The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge. published most Thursdays throughout the academic year by The Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body Please address all correspondence to The Meliorist, 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge. Alberta, T1K 3M4, or drop it off at room SU-166 Deadline for submissions is Sunday at noon. The phone Summer Issues number is (403) 329-2334 or fax us at 329-2333 The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters. However, The Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters which are signed by the author (special arrangements may be made for those wishing anonymity, Why advertise with The Meliorist? but absolutely no pseudonyms), contain the authors legible name, address, telephone number and student identification number (address, ID and phone number not for publication). Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity and legality. The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material. - The Meliorist is the easiest way to reach the 18 to 24 demographic in Lethbridge Editor-in-Chief | David Green [email protected]

Business Manager | Joseph Brunton - Reach the 3,000 summer students via 17 distribution points on the U of [email protected] L campus Advertising Manager | Don Nguyen [email protected] - Reach young adults in the surrounding community via our 30 off campus Copy Editor | Chris Hibbard distribution points [email protected]

Production Manager | Lance Semak [email protected] - The Meliorist is the only post-secondary paper publishing this summer

Distribution Manager | Ian Bennett [email protected] - Enjoy discounted summer rates, up to a 30% savings over regular rates News Editor | Nathan Sharpe [email protected]

Entertainment Editor | Jared McKenzie [email protected] Some key rates: Sports Editor | Craig Hamilton [email protected] Photo Editor | Niki Standing Back Page Colour Ad: as low as $52o/issue [email protected] Middle Page Colour Ad: as low as $495/issue Creative Designer | Amber Herbison [email protected] Inside 1/4 Page B&W Ad: as low as $8o/issue Office Assistant | Jaime Tremblay Inside 1/8 Page B&W Ad: as low as $42/issue [email protected] More sizes and rates available, give us a call! WebMaster | Vikramjit Singh Gill [email protected] Printing | Southern Alberta Newspaper Group For more information, or to place an ad, please contact our office at Contributors: You know who you are. (403) 329-2334 or by e-mail at [email protected]

Quote of the Week Our next issue is out June 9th, book your ad today!

'I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it. '* Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826) NKWS THEMKMOKIST I Thursday. <) June, 2005 I Page .1 News

The Spring 2005 convocation has come and gone to much fanfare and celebration. Nine honorary degree recipients, two of whom are interviewed on this page, accompanied the Graduates. The total number of eligible graduates this year is an astounding 1364, up slightly from last year. Wallin receives honorary degree few decades. "Canadian students are active in balance in out institutions between specialization She spoke about how students a very different way," Wallin explained. She and liberal education. are now concerned with spoke about how students are now concerned One question that needed to be asked was, with specific issues, and that now Canadian with the recent political turmoil and the near specific issues, and that students "are starting to put their energy and collapse of our government, did she miss now Canadian students "are their time into issues where they think they can journalism? She \aughed and said that she is not starting to put their energy make a difference and where they can impact necessarily missing anything. She emphasized their lives." there are many similarities between journalism and their time into issues One thing that she mentioned that will always and politics and that it seemed like a natural where they think they can be an issue for Canadian students was funding. transition. make a difference and where She said that the demands on the post-secondary She likened her job as a diplomat as a facilitator system are increasing to match the competitive and translator between different groups of they can impact their lives." demands of a changing workforce. To meet people, a lot like what she did in the media. these demands and compete with an increasingly Wallin explained that she has the same types of esteemed position of Canada's Consul General educated world, "We have to be really strategic conversations and asked similar questions as a By Nathan Sharpe to New York City. She has a resume longer in how we educate and what we emphasize," she diplomat, there are just no cameras rolling. News Editor than a regular edition of the Meliorist. She is said. Her experience as a journalist and diplomat Pamela Wallin and we were fortunate enough to Wallin did acclaim the merits of a liberal were evident as she addressed a group of rd talk with her when she came to the University education, which is good news for the University students concocting on June 3 as she accepted he is a figurehead in Canadian of Lethbridge on Friday, June 3rd to receive an of Lethbridge, where students need to take her degree of Doctor of Laws from the University media. She has flooded our airwaves, honorary degree. courses from many disciplines to graduate. She of Lethbridge. She said the opportunity was "an Stelevisions, newspapers and One of the first things that came to mind was said that her political career has been helped by extreme honor" and seemed just as excited as magazines. She was recently appointed to an how have Canadian students changed in the last a creative energy and hoped that we can keep a the graduates to receive her degree. What are we paying The Beer-Man cometh these guys for? By Nathan Sharpe News Editor Students' Union making inroads and planning for next year o create a masterpiece no compromise yet, but improved services, more services, or may be tolerated." This seems like a lofty money in the bank are all possibilities. By Nathan Sharpe goal, especially when the masterpiece in The other major action being taken by the T News Editor question is not a great work of art or literature, Students' Union is the renovations of the but beer. This is the slogan of Calgary's Big Rock Su food court on SU level two. The service Brewery, founded by Ed McNally, who was at the he summer may be time off for other centre is going to be expanded, the Lethbridge University of Lethbridge to receive an honorary politicians, but the Students Union Public Interest Research Group will get an degree on Friday, June 3rd. is in full motion. Two initiatives to office, there is to be a bubble tea kiosk, and T "The whole principle of the brewery when market is in Alberta and BC." be completed this summer are in motion, and an art gallery. we started was to make a real beer," McNally When asked about one of his competitors, John The Students' Union was at liberty to release The gallery is a multipurpose centre for explained. He talked about how Big Rock became Sleeman of Ontario-based Sleeman Breweries, a few details of what to expect in the fall. relaxation and study, with a screen for distinct from the larger brewers because instead McNally simply remarked that he still talked "There is going to be a new health and movies. "The main theme of this is kind of of extensive marketing campaigns, Big Rock got with his peer occasionally, though, "John has a dental plan," explained Tyler Tanner, the like an art lounge," explained Jason Blades, its reputation from word of mouth. The only real completely different philosophy than I do." New Students' Union President. Previously, the Vice President Academic. advertising that Big Rock has done over the years McNally explained that Sleeman has a more the plans had been outsourced and only There is talk about installing some telescopes is on T-shirts, which McNally prided on having all aggressive approach to his business, and has facilitated by the SU, with the profits going to view the coulees, and moveable walls will over the world. grown by acquisition. "We don't believe in debt," back to the insurance company. be put in to maximize gallery space. "Compared to what a normal marketing budget said McNally. With the new plans, the SU will keep the The upgrades are expected to cost would be, it was a mere pittance ... and it worked, He seemed an appropriate choice for an honorary profit, said Tanner, liven in a worst-ease somewhere in the ballpark of $350,000 and and we're still growing," said the proud owner ami degree of Laws; he grew up in Lethbridge, became scenario where there are several huge claims, the University Administration is committing founder of Big Rock Breweries. a lawyer, then farmer, and now entrepreneur. the SU still stands to make over $35,000 a some money as well. So far, Big Rock is available throughout Canada Some of the graduating class of spring 2005 got year, while in a more realistic scenario that The next issue of the Meliorist will feature from BC to the edge of Ontario, as well as in a few to finally meet the man who had been making their ballpark moves to the $200,000 range. more details about these exciting advances lucky states, but McNally made it clear, "our main beer all these years. Tanner said that this money is not allocated made hv our Students' Union. THE MELIORIST I Thursday, 9 .lunc. 2005 I Page 4 NEWS Newsbites include kicking the Qur'an, allowing it to get wet, obscenities written on pages, standing on By Brett Williams a Qur'an during an interrogation, and a guard "inadvertently spraying urine" on a detainee and his Qur'an while urinating next to an air vent senior Chinese diplomat in Australia beside the inmate's cell. Brigadier General Jay defected during a memorial of the W. Wood confirmed these five cases of soldiers Aanniversary of the Tianamen Square and interrogators mishandling the Qur'an. He Massacre. Chen Yonglin was the consul for stated explicitly that they appear to be unrelated political affairs at the Chinese Consulate- to each other and claimed: "Mishandling a Qur'an General in Sydney. He fled on May 26 with at Guantanamo Bay is a rare occurrence." his wife and daughter and applied for political asylum. In a public letter and a speech shortly W. Mark Felt made public recently his role as the after his defection he alleged that China has source known as "Deep Throat" in the Watergate been running around 1000 agents in Australia. scandal. During his time in the FBI, Felt was Yonglin alleges that these agents were involved pressured by Nixon to suppress evidence, and in industrial espionage, monitoring of dissidents after being passed over to lead the FBI; (Felt living in Australia; even kidnapping and murder was second in command after J. Edgar Hoover) of certain individuals. Australia, like Canada and he contacted his acquaintance Bob Woodward the United States, has vastly increased its trade from the Washington Post. He used this media with China in the last 10 years. The Australian connection, to leak crucial information about government is also on the verge of signing the attempts by Richard Nixon to cover up the a free trade agreement with China. Chinese burglary of the Democratic Party offices in the dissidents living in Australia have alleged that Watergate Hotel. Felt revealed the information the impending trade agreement has minimized to reporters Woodward and Carl Bernstein, the Australian government's response to this who made the scandal public. Woodward and incident. Bernstein have stated that they would only reveal whom their source was when he died. However, The U.S. military released details confirming the they confirmed Vanity Fair's article naming alleged abuse of the Qur'an at Guantanamo Bay Felt as the source that helped them uncover the in Cuba on Saturday, June 4. These incidents Watergate scandal.

nathan's little corn

look at some lede sentences (starting trying to shine a negative light on Voice, started his article: "To conservative bias. By Nathan Sharpe sentences kind of like a thesis sentence medical marijuana, it could have many, the Supreme Court ruling The reason that these biases are in an essay) from some articles about News Editor rewritten the first piece to read like Monday against medical marijuana medical marijuana in the USA to give important to recognize is that unlike this: "A steady stream of marijuana spelled the end of the movement example. a preachy editorial, (like mine) when users filed into a now-illegal San ournalists, editorial boards, for compassionate use." This still is you are reading a biased story you can and even whole newspapers Lisa Leff, an Associated Press writer, Francisco area marijuana cafe." This accurate and interesting, but it starts finish reading it and assume that the J have personal biases and starts her article: lede would be technically accurate, off with the gentle implication that ideas you thought of were your own. agendas, including the Meliorist "A steady stream of customers filed but by labeling people as "marijuana the Supreme Court Ruling was a bad This is the power of suggestion and and all of its talented writers. That into the Love Shack, where anybody users," and replacing the gentle name idea. If I was in agreement with the being said, most papers; the Meliorist with a city-issued cannabis card could "Love Shack" with the a description decision and writing about the ruling; you are more likely to accept your own included, try to do every story with that labels the compassion club as ideas than someone else's. Next time an open mind and write objectively. buy $5 pot brownies or spend up to 20 I might go to a compassion club and you read an article, even one of mine; Most of the biases you will find in minutes inhaling premium marijuana illegal; the tone of the article has been start the article "these people don't mainstream media are not as obvious that sells for $320 an ounce." That changed to reflect a slightly more care that they are breaking the law, look for a bias. News is not perfect, so as the rantings of "The O'Reilley is a pretty good way to start a story, negative light on marijuana. they say that smoking pot helps their you should be aware of how it can be Factor," but are more subtle ones you it draws the reader in, and it falls Now, James Ridgeway a writer pain." Again, the lede is accurate and used to influence you before someone would not see without looking. Lets pretty dead centre. If the paper was for the more left-of-centre Village interesting, but it would reflect a more else's ideas is accidentally adopted. Teach English

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Amber Waves by Dave T< Phipps

WOW, LOOK 7 LOOK AT THAT BIS ^ LISTEN) WE'RE BEING AT THAT FISH) HE WOULD BE WATCMEW I AM NOT I FISH! A KEEPER! . BEING PARANOIC! THIS ONE'S "SPECKLED." V

1 2 3 5 6 7 8 10 11 12 ,3 14 15 16 17 SWEET 4 9 • 18 t. 20 1 _^AW-THINGS 22 123 24 Super Crossword 25 ACROSS 51 "Taras 99 Winter DOWN 41 Sib's kid B7 McCarthy's 26 27 128 •2 9 30 1 Pugilistic Bulba" hazard 1 Secure spot 42 On the — trunkmate poke author 100 Trattoria 2 — mater vive (alert) 89 West. • 32 33 1 m.'-••'• 35 36 38 4 Silenced a 54 Emulate treat 3 Rosary part 43 Summer alliance squeak Pinocchio 101 TV chef 4 Speak freely coil 92 Brace 9 Fuel source 55 Brandy Martin 5 Roth — 44 Tristan's 95 Asta s 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 s46 13 "Turandot" cocktail 103"—Shuffle" 6 Exist tootsie mistress tenor 58 Protect with ("77 song) 7 Temptation 46 Actress 96 Snarl 47 48 •49 150 1 •' 52 53 18 Heady plastic 104 Seaweed location Skye 97 Banned quaff 61 Resident roduct 8 Earl — 50 Take the pesticide 54 1 55 56 57 58 59 60 19 Savanna 64 "Yours, Mine §obby's Biggers honey and 98 London sight and—" flashlight 9 Living room run district M • 61 62 63 65 •66 20 Lhasa — ('68 film) 108 Rodent's 10 Antipollution 52 Mayberry 102 Shake up 64 21 Arbus 65 Keaisian Olympic town drunk 104 Actor's m creation motto? 11 The — 53 "Why don't actor? 67 68 59 1 73^M 74 apparatus 72 22 Rodent's 66 Redact 112 Broad st. Jungle" we?' 106 Spassky's 70 favorite 67 "The 114 "Gotcnal" ('50 film) 56 Sadistic game 75 76 T77 78 1 Monkees Bartered 115 Article 12 Carry 57 In the 107 Pillbox, e.g. tune? Bride" 116 "— Night" 13 Purrfect pet? saddle 109 Bil of a 79 81 •83 •84 85 86 87 24 Lost In composer ('58 hit) 14 Grandpa 59 Saying beach 80 •j thought 70 Serenade 117 Apt rhyme McCoy 60 Cheerful 110 Medical accompani­ for squirm 15 Rodent 62 Bk. conve­ 88 89 90 92 1 25 Nuclear grp. M 93 26 Brimming ment 119 "L"—, c'est refresh­ nience 111 TV's "Eight 72 TV's "Soulh moi" ment? 63 Neighbor of Is " • 27 Join up 94 95 96 97 98 99 29 "Jake into 121 Matches 16 Pisces Thailand 112 About to 125 Inception follower 68 Used the sink account 74 Road curve 100 • 101 1102 • 103 • 104 75 Rodent's 129 Cartoonist 17 Sapphire microwave 113 Screwdriver P 31 Hook's mate educational Charles side 69 Digression ingredient 32 — reaction level? 131 Writer 21 Future 71 Prose piece 118 Spouse • 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 34 Diva 79 Dit's cousin Charles officer 73 Boat Dottom 120 Composer Ponselle 82 Read quickly 133 Fictional 23 "We've Only 76 Atlanta Wilder 112 113 • 114 115 •116 36 Moon 83 Adress rodenl? Just "('70 campus 122 Prod hit) crawler Virna 135 Rink rental 77 Indentation 123 Binchy's "— 117 118 ••' 1120 • 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 38 Relative of 84 Feeper 136 List ender 28 Hockey 78 Mintz or Roaa" -ator protectors 137 "Peer Gynt" legend Whitney 124 lend the 39 Rodent 88 Oomph composer 30 Urban 79 Johnny of sauce 129 130 131 132 133 134 cheese­ 90 fokyo, once 138 Psychic transport "Chocolat" 126 Wallop cake? 91 Like some Geller 33 Sugar amts. 80 Soap 127 Architect 135 136 13"/ 138 45 Laundry cellars 139 Veronica of 35 Barbecue additive Saannen 37 Christmas 81 City of 128 Small problem 93 It may suit •Hill Sireet 139 z KO 141 142 47 Frigga's you Blues' visitors rodenls? combo fellow 94 Closet 140 Surrender 39 Voting 85 Arcnitect 130 Gibson or J 141 Big revolver? venue Jones Tillis 1 48 Young boxers freshener 1 49 Relished a 96 Calculator 142 Sticky 40 Tum of 86 Winoow 132 Unbalanced ©2005 by King Feaiures Syndicate, inc. Word rights reserved roast features stuff phrase aressing? 134 Wager THE MELIORIST .'• Thursday, 9 June. 2005 I Page 6 HOROSCOPES three lines free ;•••••••••*.••' .. ...••->•>•••—. F*:i nv« ci t At umcr » Purposes Only. For the week of June 9th to June 15th High Priestess Tigerlily brings you this week's horoscopes via the web: http://www.astrologysource.com/weekly.htm You can submit your TLF's to [email protected] or visit our website at www.themeliorist.com/tlfs.htm All TLF's MUST be submitted via a valid uleth email account ARIES Please note that slanderous or offensive TLF's may be edited or omitted

If you are not happy in your personal life, your problems may seem especially pressing at this I'm a flusher. Are you a flusher? everyone who said your degree clickclick... time. Tangles in romantic relationships are likely. Your sexual drive is quite strong, and you may Please flush. is toilet paper wrong. be more concerned with satisfying your own desires than in being sensitive to your partner. All The best thing about the rain is interactions with people of the opposite sex are inclined to be tense right now. It's the women! It's the women Congrats Chris on becoming a that when I wet my pants, no here that don't flush! brand new uncle! one notices!! TAURUS I don't like looking at and If I was a gopher in this rain, I'd $30 Airwalks at a store that If you balance this with your personal goals in life, you can achieve an enormous sense of smelling other people's crap. I be stealing plastic wrap from rhymes with 'Old Yeller's!" satisfaction and higher prestige at work. This can be a time when career matters take major don't want other people looking around campus and setting precedence over your personal affairs. However, no matter how strong your ambitions are there at and smelling my crap. I it up in my gopher hole as a I base my psychic ability on the may be a price to pay in your primary relationships. Caution should be exercised if loved ones are flush. Do you flush? wicked slip and slide. fact that I was born with a tail. feeling alienated and ignored. Also, a new job could begin during this period or a change of career direction is possible. When you're done crapping in My beer helmet is too small. No Can you believe it? This the crapper, flush the crapper wait, its just that my heads too morning someone actually GEMINI and get rid of the crap. big. pissed in my Corn Flakes!

Even if you are normally very understanding and tolerant of other people's foibles, you are able Why is it okay for the bus Did you know that if you let I'm so much like Pat Benatar to reach a better rapport with others and be less resistant and defensive when others disagree drivers to smoke in the non­ your entire front seat get it's scary. with you or act in ways that are not agreeable with you. This is an excellent time to openly talk smoking bus shelter? soaking wet, it can result in a with anyone that you do not feel comfortable with and do not have a good rapport with. You can non-stop signal light sound all MUSICIANS WANTED: for Pat break down barriers with others now. If you don't want to get rained the time...constantly....clickclic Benatar cover band. on while smoking, the solution k,clickclick,clickclick... CANCER is to not smoke. Please don't Have you heard about the smoke in the bus shelters. Anyone know where I can get guy that paints with his dick? This is a good time for any work of an artistic kind because your imagination and sensitivity are adult-size Spiderman underoos SICK! high. Philosophical, spiritual, psychic, and religious topics also appeal to you now, and you can I was told that it would be hot and a matching umbrella? [become much clearer about philosophical issues. here in the summer. So far, all This rain sure makes me wet. I am seeing is rain. Cold, cold Someone should have told LEO rain. George Lucas that with all his Darren, you're an @sshole money he should have bought cheating piece of s*#t! You are likely to feel the urge to do something completely out of character now. Don't fight the Congratulations graduates!! himself a script writer and a urge. Let yourself be a little "crazy"; this is a good time to break out of your accustomed ways dialogue coach. I have a bumhole in my ear, of acting and be more humorous or eccentric. Your imagination is charged now. Any artistic All you Bachelor of Arts when I take a crap, I cannot endeavors are imbued with a new spirit of originality and inspiration. Your thinking is much less grads, get out there and prove C1 i c k c 1 i c k... c 1 i c k c 1 i c k...hear . conservative and cautious now, and you can tap intuitive and creative resources that will surprise even yourself. VIRGO

You may give the impression now that you are seeking more fulfillment, commitment, stability Uncle Pooch's and teamwork in love relationships. You will go that extra mile to insure that you can be relied upon to deliver any promises, pledges, or obligations in the partnership. If you are unattached it the present time, you may attract a new love interest or search earnestly for a meaningful relationship. Also, this period can bring an increased need for security in both job-related and Secret Recipe financial affairs. LIBRA Ginger Beef and Asparagus With Mushrooms

This is a favorable time for getting your message across to others via writing, speaking, or This stir-fry is a little sweet and a little 1. In a large skillet, heat oil on high heat. advertising. Your mental processes are speeded up now. You grasp new concepts very easily, but spicy. Serve over hot cooked rice. 2. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine you tend to be impatient with slower minds or the usual, predictable routine. Nervous restlessness, sheery wine, soy sauce, cornstarch, ginger, 5 impulsive or erratic behavior or speech, rushing, or coming to a conclusion too quickly are likely 11/4 lbs sirloin steaks or flank steak , cut into spice powder, pepper and brown sugar. at this time. thin strips 3. Mix well until cornstarch and sugar is 2 tablespoons peanut oil (or canola oil) dissolved. SCORPIO 4 garlic cloves , minced 4. Sprinkle beef strips with the salt. 1 teaspoon salt 5. When skillet and oil are hot, add beef You may be doing a lot of thinking about your relationship and may even feel inclined to discuss 1 1/2 lbs asparagus , cut into 2-inch pieces (cut strips and garlic and stir-fry over high heat issues of commitment, loyalty, and trustworthiness with your mate. The activities you share with very thick stalks in half lengthwise as well) until beef has just a little pink remaining. your spouse or loved one may center around intellectual interests and pursuits as well. If you are 6 green onions , sliced 6. Add asparagus, onions and carrots and currently unattached, be on the lookout for meeting new romantic prospects through relatives, 3/4 cup sliced carrots continue to stir-fry over high heat for about siblings, neighbors, or business associates. 1 lb baby portabello mushrooms, sliced 2 minutes. Add sherry/soy sauce mixture i/8 cup sherry wine to skillet. Add mushrooms to skillet and SAGITTARIUS 1/8 cup light soy sauce continue stir-frying for about 3-5 minutes or 2 teaspoons cornstarch until your asparagus and carrots are desired This is a time for getting a little loose and wild with friends, going dancing, or doing something 2 teaspoons fresh ground ginger crisp-tenderness. out of the ordinary that is stimulating and fun. You meet interesting new people and are more 1/4 teaspoon Chinese five spice powder 7. Serve over hot cooked rice, if desired open to people who are quite different from yourself. An opportunity for a romance may arise 1/2 teaspoon pepper which is likely to be exciting, though short-lived. 2 tablespoons brown sugar http://www.recipezaar.com/134876 CAPRICORN 4-6 servings - 25 minutes 15 mins prep

You may need a work environment free of distractions and chaos in order to work with more L A Hi R~| |E]T C H: EiA 1 M E R lo L fll SB productivity and efficiency. If your creative energy and imagination is given room to flourish, Solution to 1 i IS.'UIL fll U:MjB Hj c A L A then you will truly feel dedicated to your job responsibilities and duties. You may envision greater ! B U Dj p,'YlPifilO S| P;E R-OjU S H D u R A N possibilities or yearn for idyllic work conditions where your dreams are automatically fulfilled. jO M E!G A • N U 'I • 1 1 NBBH T N T last week's • |E'L E ' C 1 p^ S T 1 M ! L 1 D AQUARIUS lA L FlRlE DiOHslT'A L E|S E!D A • 1 crossword A LIS B N ; A P O L. I A 1 D T H IE L OBMA 1 H AjN:H L A LT'Hl Y I R A Numerous phone ('alls, letters, meetings, errands, or discussions bring you into contact with !M A r 1 r 11 fl | 1 R OJN M 1 D others. This is a good lime to brainstorm with others, share ideas, and conic lo a group consensus. B 1- 'G A J§ B U R |N 1 1 N N This is a good period to make schedules or arrangements with those who live with you as to the ; 1 B A R: E^]W!0 0 6w\ 1 N : 1 N 1 ! handling of domestic or personal responsibilities. . A n •BrT 1 | C f E |N C 11 Hi -;A N H L 1 CiO N O A 1 N IHi '- T T IPISCES •L L t;BJC All 0 L' E M ON! A R CIHBI 1 O u i OjS H HH8 OIT.'A |N r • 8 V E N Your thoughts are dreamy, fantastic, and faraway right now. Your imagination and intuition | • N.O L 1 < t-.MC i A N p YBJ C U R T E S 1 lis heightened, which benefits any creative or artistic work you may do. However, your practical • N GlU Y E : N • K . L E i flf . 'TTXlE H r {reasoning ability and your ability to locus on the here and now are diminished. Your judgment ; 1 Mft 1 ' A GB BE T. A ' H B U S E Y 1 regarding concrete matters is a bit fuzzy at this time, so you may wish to delay making important !u 1 C A IB1 A RIbB A R A|P D 1 S E R RjOl L AIR Y 1 1 il_ L'YI L T T A lecisions. I 1 0 D Q l Mr M'A'NJ |L !E S E|L E E R THE MELIORIST I Thurnday,9Jime,200S I Page 7 Randomness

manpower to this case, though may be hindered by the fact that as an appliance repairman. 95 per cent of their officers have recently up and quit, moving to James A. Ross, 23, has served time in jail for false impersonation Tahiti after 'winning at the races'. of a police officer and again for posing as a paramedic. He also has been charged with posing as a firefighter and a mortician. German ingenuity: Cellphone On Sunday, he was arrested for posing as an appliance repairman throwing championships at the Woodbury Manor apartment complex. Ross approached two women sitting on a back porch and asked them if any of their appliances needed repair work. BERLIN - Germans will bring new meaning to the term 'long­ "We're obviously concerned about Mr. Ross and why he can't »dNEWS distance call' when they compete in the country's first mobile seem to stop this type of activity," Madison County Sheriffs Lt. phone throwing championships later this month. John I-akin said Tuesday. And you fa*0 yw i)ei#

SJM£: ^9*MI CD KIEV HEW Overshadows by Brian Heinrich, CKXU Station Manager Narrative in (Editors Note: Since it hasn't stopped raining in nine days and I require sunshine to function, the CD reviews for this issue are all excellently written by Brian Heinrich, the Station Manager at CKXU 88.3 FM. If you haven't been listening to CKXU recently, tune in as soon as you find a radio, because it is by far the best Russian Ark free music in this disturbingly rainy city. - Jared) By Jared McKenzie Igor Stravinsky: Igor Stravinsky: Entertainment Editor

Three Greek Ballets (Apollo; Agon; Orpheus) The Firebird, Petrushka, Robert Craft/ Robert Craft/London Symphony Orchestra; Philharmonia Orchestra. Naxos. Orchestra of St Luke's. Naxos Robert Craft had a 20-year association with Igor Stravinsky, which makes Naxos' Stravinsky series, part of its Robert Craft Collection, is so far comprised this recording and other Stravinsky recordings he has made somewhat of material previously released on MusicMasters and Koch International Classics. baffling. This release, which seems to begin the series, collects three ballets relating to Greek Stravinsky was possibly the pre-eminent interpreter of his own works myth. (which isn't as obvious at it might seem), and so one would expect that The first of these, Apollo, appears to be a 1947 revision of Apollon musag from Craft would follow a similar performance tradition. Unfortunately, that 1928, one of Stravinsky's more charming compositions, scored solely for strings, isn't the case. but conductor Robert Craft'dss notes are silent on this point. A piece that, however Originally released on Music Masters in 1997 and recently re-released tragic its ending, dances lightly is made ponderous in this performance featuring by Naxos as part of the Robert Craft Collection, this second volume in the the London Symphony Orchestra. Both Apollo and Orpheus, like the Firebird and label's Music of Igor Stravinsky series is a mixed bag. Petrouchka on the second release in the series, were recorded at Abbey Road, and The lure here is a performance of the Ur-text of The Firebird (L'oiseau while these recordings breathe more, the muddiness in the lower strings and what de feu). While the performance does have its moments, it is unsatisfactory seems to be their over-emphasis in the mix are deadly to a piece as delicate as over all, suffering at points from muddy textures (possibly a by-product of this. Abbey Road's dead recording space) and what seem like ill-judged tempi. To make matters worse, Craft seems unsure of himself. Most of Stravinsky's work The revised score of The Firebird was apparently prepared by Craft himself, has a rhythmic drive to it, however subtle, and pieces meander if that sense of though there's nothing in Naxos' typically scanty documentation to indicate Russian Ark rhythm is lost. One senses that is what happened here; in a couple of places, Craft that. Despite being advertised as the 'Complete original version', what we (In Russian with seems to stumble over rhythms. actually have here is a corrected version of the published score. English Subtitles) Agon, begun late in 1953 and completed shortly before the composer's 75"1 birthday If you happen to be interested in Stravinsky, these corrections are of Directed by Alexander Suparov in 1957, finds Stravinsky turning towards serialism. More oblique and abstract than interest in and of themselves, and there are indeed moments here that do Starring Sergei Dreiden his earlier work (although it has its evocative moments as well), it finds Stravinsky sound markedly different from the score with which we are familiar. Released 2002 not content to rest 0") his laurels. The recording, with the Orchestra of St Luke's, The problem is that some of these points deal with tempo, and so it is Grade: B fares better than Apollo. difficult to judge, just by listening, if these moments are due to emendations The third ballet, Orpheus, dates from 1947. While the sound seems better here to the score or due to interpretive decisions taken by Craft. While listening to records in the than in Apollo, it is nonetheless the least compelling of the pieces here. At a time More damning, however, is the fact that performance sounds ... library one day, I found a large when he was revising his own scores, not just Apollon musag but also Petrouchka, disengaged. There is no sense of excitement here; no sense of discovery, collection of art films available The Rite of Spring, and Symphonies of Wind Instruments, the sound of Orpheus is which is particularly problematic in that this is supposed to be the first time for loan. Many of these DVDs are the sound of Stravinsky recycling himself. Stravinsky's(putative) intentions have been heard since 1910. unavailable to rent from conventional This is, then, a difficult disk to recommend, with only one of the three pieces here Petrushka, heard here in its 1947 revision, which was scored for smaller stores such as Blockbuster or Movie really successful. forces than the original, fares better, even though recorded in the same Gallery, and there is no rental charge. studio. So, thinking I had stumbled upon an 5/io untapped resource of art cinema, I 6.5/10 quickly decided to borrow a disc. By happenstance I grabbed Russian Ark, a 2002 film that, upon its release, was heralded as a technical masterpiece. Russian Ark explores 300 years of Russian history, using 2000 actors Top tens and the Hermitage museum in St. Petersburg, in a single, 96-minute Compiled by Jared McKenzie digital take. The camera follows the Entertainment Editor view of an unseen narrator who travels through the museum with the help Billboard Top Ten : of the Marquis (Sergei Dreiden), an 1) Audioslave: Out of Exile individual that can choose to be seen 2) Common: Be by others. Throughout each room in 3) Mariah Carey: The Emancipation of Mimi the museum, the narrator and the Marquis view different historical 4) System of a Down: Mezmerize figures such as Catherine the Great 5) : Honkytonk University and Peter the Great. 6) Gorillaz: Demon Days Unfortunately, the entire film 7) Dave Matthews Band: Stand Up becomes a museum tour rather than 8) Seether: Karma & Effect an engaging narrative. Many sections of the film deal with various works of 9) II Divo: II Divo art, and these can feel like droning 10) Gwen Stefani: Love.Angel.Music.Baby lectures instead of appreciative conversations. As well, exploring Top Ten Films in Theatres: 300 years of complex history in just over 90 minutes doesn't really allow l) Madagascar the film to stay in one situation for 2) The Longest Yard very long, so the viewer often doesn't 3) Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith realize which historical figure they are 4) Cinderella Man watching until after the moment has passed. However, the pacing of the 5) The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants narrative is very slow and deliberate. 6) Monster-in-Law Ultimately, you've got quick-paced 7) Lords of Dogtown visuals (the single camera gives an 8) Crash almost nauseating sense of constant movement) with laboriously slow 9) Kicking & Screaming speech, and the contrast isn't as 10) Unleashed enjoyable as one would have hoped. Nonetheless, the film is a technical Top Ten Albums Released this June: achievement. The coordination of i)Coldplay:X&Y(June7) 2000 actors (all of them in complex 2) Black Eyed Peas: Monkey Business (June 7) historical dress) to work perfectly for a single take is maddening: even 3) The White Stripes: Get Behind Me Satan (June 7) one flub or mishap could have forced 4) Backstreet Boys: Never Gone (June 14) all recording to cease and start over. 5) Foo Fighters: In Your Honor (June 14) As well, the film can be extremely 6) Dream Theater: Octavarium (June 14) beautiful and visually stunning (especially the Great Royal Ball), but 7) Esthero: Little Girls (June 28) the entile work lacks snbstance. It's a 8) Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan (June 21) piece to watch if yon are interested in 9) Master P: Ghetto Bill Gates (June 21) tbe technical aspect of filmmaking, but 10) The Offspring: Greatest I iits (June 21) on the whole, form clearly outweighs content in Russian Ark. ENTERTAINMENT THE MELIORIST I Thursday, 9 June. 2005 I Page 9 Get Yourself to a Folk Festival By Jared McKenzie Entertainment Editor

Summer is festival season, and Alberta has plenty of massive parties based on harvests, forgotten traditions, and corn, apparently. Considering we live in the most conservative province in Canada, it is surprising the amount of hippie-fostering folk festivals that are within a few hours' drive from sunny ol' Lethbridge. I'm a huge fan of folk festivals: you've got great music, delicious munchables, and fantastic people. Seriously, the kindest people you may ever meet all get together and go to Folk Fests. Anyway, here are the goods on three major festivals: Edmonton Folk Fest, Calgary Folk Music Festival, and South Country Fair. South Country Fair Calgary Folk Music Festival Edmonton Folk Fest

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Jr^B^^^ '^BBB itJI HSfiwH * '^ M Li When: Thursday, July 21 to Sunday, July 24 I Where: Prince's Island Park in downtown Calgary Mainstage Performers: Buck 65, Hawksley Workman, Jeff When: Thursday, August 4th to Sunday, August 7 91 Tweedy, Xavier Rudd, Ron Sexsmith, Indigo Girls, Sarah Where: Gallagher Park in downtown Edmonton When: July 15-17 Harmer, Arrested Development, Steve Earle, Shelby Lynne, Mainstage Performers: Where: Lyndon Road Fish & Game Park, Fort MacLeod Oscar Lopez and 13 more on the mainstage. Loreena McKennit, Steve Earle, Ryan Adams, Alison Krauss and Mainstage Performers: Captain Tractor, McCuaig, Mingus Tourette, Who Else: The Weakerthans, Tortoise, Kate & Anna McGarrigle, Union Station, John Prine, and a dozen more on the mainstage. Hippodrome, Prairie Wind Belly Dancers, Fred Eaglesmith. Ex-Centric Soundsystem, The Arrogant Worms, Arrested Who Else: John Wort Hannam, Martha Wainwright, The Who Else: Carolyn Mark, Tariq, Dirty Hat Band, Eva Tihanyi, Development, and around 40 other performers. Weakerthans, Harry Manx, Amos Lee and 46 other performers James Dangerous, and many many more. Accomodations: There are a variety of camping spots available from around the world. Accomodations: Camping is technically free at South Country Fair, just outside the city, and a couple of hotels near the park offer Accommodations:There is no parking at the park, nor is there but it does cost $10 to leave your car in the campsite. reduced rates for festival patrons. As for parking, the festival is any onsite camping. For parking, take the bus for $2 (it's a Cost: $46 for the weekend if you buy before July 8. After that, the on an island. You might be able to park near Eau Claire Market, three-minute ride) from Bonnie Doon Shopping Center. There is pass is $60, but it is still a deal. but you should just take public transit. It IS a folk festival you camping in the river valley. Website: www.scfair.ab.ca are going to, isn't it? Cost: A 4-day pass for adults is $130 if bought in July, or $150 Cost: Adult 4-day pass is $130, but students (with ID) get in if bought in August. Youth (ages 12-17) get a 4-day pass for $55 If you're looking to get in on some excellent live music this summer, all four days for $75. Seniors get in free here too, and there are whenever it is purchased. you can't miss with a folk festival. It's a fun, safe way to spend a some day passes for a variety of prices. Seniors (65+) and accompanied children get in for free. weekend and hear some new, often underrated talent. Website: www.calgaryfolkfest.com Website: www.edmontonfolkfest.org Rice releases another dark thriller Best-selling author creates another mysterious masterpiece By Mike Barker Dialog (George Brown College)

TORONTO (CUP)

hristopher Rice, a 26-year-old American author who has already The second draft was 940 pages long." Cpenned two books that have made Through revisions, Rice was able to tell his the New York Times bestseller list, has hit the story more succinctly. The published work is 322 road to promote his newest book, Light Before pages and the main character's voice is present Day. but not overwhelming. As with Rice's two previous books, Density of The other characters are compelling, but we Soul and The Snow Garden, Light Before Day is don't know what truly goes on in their minds. a dark thriller that revolves around a group of Rice runs through the secondary characters, characters who are intertwined in a complex tale each having their time in the story line as the of murder, lies and sex. The compelling action story progresses, but it's Adam that drives the and interesting characters makes for a book that narrative forward. is hard to put down. Rice is a refreshing author who speaks honestly The story is told through the voice of the main with intelligence and wit. He sees himself as character, Adam Murphy, a man wrestling a humble crime writer — which he is proud of with personal demons as he follows a trail of — and is hesitant to place himself alongside murder and disappearances laid out for him like neither the great Los Angeles crime writers nor breadcrumbs. notable gay authors. Still, there's no denying Adam, a 26-year-old journalist and alcoholic that his books are well-researched, well-written YOU" who is new to West Hollywood, finds himself on page-turners. the case of a career-breaking news story he soon Rice leads a new generation of gay writers who discovers he is a part of. while Adam struggles speak with a different voice than the previous with his own demons — drinking binges that generation, like Tennessee Williams and To lessen their workload! lead to blackouts, coming to terms with the Edmond White. His characters are not trying to accidental death of his alcoholic mother - he prove their worth and their sexuality does not becomes entangled in the disappearances. He dominate the story, Students are free to contribute also finds himself in the dark world of crystal Coming from a family of writers, Rice was meth users in West Hollywood's gay community encouraged to begin writing as a child. and trailer parks in California's central valley. And his parents were always reads to give articles, editorials etc. to For Rice, writing in the first person was a advice, especially on tackling writer's block or challenge, especially as the character he created finding inspiration. had so much to say. "Well if you really get into a "One piece 01 advice that my mother has given [email protected] single character, he will talk and talk and talk... me, that 1 never argued with her on, is write the imok that you want to read," he says. THE MELIORIST I Thursday. 9 June. 2005 I Page 10 Sports 'Horn Named to Senior Women's National Team

competition which is so critical to preparing for Zealand and appears certain to add to her 2 caps the next World Cup". she won in the fall. Press release The Canada Cup, as a Tri-Nation event, Coaches Neil Langevin and Matt Stephens OTTAWA, ON will provide an opportunity for the National expect that this squad will help reverse Canada's Women's team to obtain three test matches over results from last spring, though they are aware of a 7-day period. The NSWT depth chart is full the challenging schedule and the difficulty that fter two successful selection camps, of some powerful athletes that gave the selectors their opponents New Zealand and Scotland will the staff of Rugby Canada's National quite a challenge. pose. "We are confident that this team has the ASenior Women's Team (NSWT) has High expectations will be placed on many skill, speed and size to compete with the Black named a squad of 26 players who will compete veterans while the coaching staff will also look Ferns and will be able to meet the challenge of in the 2005 Canada Cup in Ottawa, Ontario. to a number of newcomers to bring an element Scotland, who are coming off a successful With only fifteen months remaining until tbe RUGBY of speed and size to the team. Seven members of 6 nations campaign", stated Langevin. Women's Rugby World Cup in Edmonton, the the team selected were not with the NSWf at the coaches are looking for the winning formula CANADA beginning of last year. 2005 Canada Cup Schedule that will enable them to be more competitive The hard running and explosive style of Kristy Wednesday, June 29 this season following last year's disappointing a member of the U23 national team in 2003-04 Heemskerk along with Brooke Hilditch's high 6pm - New Zealand vs. Scotland results. While the results were not as good as and earned a promotion to the senior team late work rate will compliment the back line that will hoped, small consolation can be found in the last season. include the solid playing style of Julie Foster and Saturday, July 2 fact that four of the losses were against either Rugby Canada and the Ottawa planning group the speed of Heather Moyse as well as speedy 6 pm - Canada vs. Scotland the first or second ranked teams in the world. for the 2005 Canada Cup persisted against many newcomer, Jill Harris. Heather McDonald who Fourth year Lock, Paige Burdett of Fort odds to confirm that Canada would once again won the CIS MVP in 2003 will bring additional Tuesday, July 5 Macleod, AB, becomes the first Pronghorn host the Canada Cup from June 29th to July 8th power and strength to a front row that will also 6 pm - Canada vs. New Zealand Women's Rugby team member to be named to inclusive at Twin Elm Rugby Park. The event feature Lesley Cripps who has been playing in a full National team squad. This past season, had initially been proposed as a six-team event, the UK. Crowd favourite, Gillian Florence will Friday, July 8 Paige led the Horns to a third place finish at the and for a time seemed threatened to exist at all. be sure to terrorize visiting teams. Barb Mervin 4 pm - 3rd place vs. Canada Barbarians Canada West Championship tournament and "We continue to be very grateful to the Ottawa appears for the first time after winning a spot 6 pm - 1st place vs. 2nd place was named both a Canada West All-star and CIS group for their efforts with this endeavour", said with a great performance at last year's National All- Canadian. Canada's Team Manager, Roxanne Butler, "the Championships. Nineteen-year-old Megan For more information on the 2005 Canada Cup, Burdett has already donned the maple leaf as women struggle so hard to obtain this level of Gibbs will return from her tutelage in New visit: www.canadacuprugby.ca. Crook named National U-21 Head Coach Former 'Horns bench boss to head Notional Basketball Team

ave Crook, the one­ with the 'Horns. After guiding the will make up the FIBA Americas time head coach of the National Team to a fourth place finish contingent. FIBA Europe will have Craig Hamilton DUniversit y of Lethbridge at last year's Under-21 Tournament of four teams participating, sending Pronghorn men's basketball team Sports Editor the Americas in Halifax, Crook's squad Slovenia, Lithuania, Greece and has been pegged to once again take qualified for a place in the 2005 FIBA Israel. FIBA Asia will send two teams, the reigns of the Under-21 Canadian Under-21 World Championship, to be China and Iran. FIBA Africa and FIBA National Basketball team. Crook held in Mar del Platta, Argentina. Oceania will send one team each, coached with Lethbridge as recently Canada's Young Men's squad will be Nigeria and Australia, respectively. as 2001 before moving to his native making it's first ever appearance at the The host nation, in this case Argentina, Winnipeg to take the job for the UofW FIBA Under -21 World Championship, is granted the 12th and final berth into Informative Wesmen. to be held August 5-14. The event will the tournament. This is the second straight feature the top twelve teams from Team Canada finds itself as the third Filler appointment behind the U-21 bench the five FIBA regional qualification seed in Pool A, behind Argentina and for Crook, who was named CIAU tournaments. The Canadian squad, Australia, but ahead of Greece, Iran, Craig Hamilton Coach of the Year in 1999-2000 while along with the US and Puerto Rico and Israel. Sports Editor

41-year old man was arrested for calling in a Abomb threat to The Palace at Auburn Hills prior to game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals between Bald isn't so beautiful when you're the Detroit Pistons and the Miami Heat. Apparently he wasn't able to dressed in your favorite track pants make the call during the Pistons- BOSS Pacers series because the lines were HHUG U O BOSS clogged with other guys calling in and painting shirt... their own bomb threats. n men's pants. ...that's where we come in. -Two former NFL teammates are headed to court to settle a matter of $2oK that is owed for the use of a jersey number. Ifeanyi Ohalete is taking Clinton Portis to civil trial in Maryland for the $20,000 he feels £m£ he was owed for letting Portis wear 111 his No. 26 jersey while with the ENTLEMEN Washington Redskins. Yes, this is the state of professional sports. van HREE

-A 56-year old Arizona man is walking across the United States in an effort 328 ~ 7th Street South to raise money for juvenile diabetes. Lethbridge, AB Oh, and he's also headed to a Cubs home game against the Nationals. T 403.3272232 He's hoping to raise $250,000 for the F 403.320.5181 cause, but unless Mark Prior's arm [email protected] heals, the money might go toward a middle-reliever. SPORTS THE MELIORIST I Thursday, 9 June, 2005 I Page It These Monday Moments

threatening from the Seahawks' 17 yard run, and a Dolphins timeout, the with just 37 seconds left to play, Patriots faced a third and nine on their By Vince Chew leading us to what I consider to be one own 21-yard line. The subsequent play Sports Contributor of the if not the best play of the year. is the turning point that makes this Not willing to settle for a tie, Monday Night Football moment a little onday Night Football is a Testaverde ran a draw play to none bizarre. Jason Taylor reached Tom lot like Hockey Night in other than Jones. Jones hit the hole Brady for the sack and on their way to Canada in the sense that hard, juked a would-be tackier, and the ground Brady uncharacteristically it's much more than just a regular found himself in the endzone. made a huge mistake by throwing the broadcast; it is a tradition. Every With that play, the Cowboys had all ball up for grabs. Unfortunately for Monday night for the past 35 years, but capped their incredible comeback, him the player who grabbed the wild millions of viewers have tuned in to winning the game 43-39. Jones earned throw was Miami linebacker Brendon ABC to watch two teams compete Horse Trailer honours, rushing for Ayanbadejo, leaving Miami with a on a nation-wide stage and every so 198 yards on 30 touches and scoring legitimate chance to score and grab often they witness something truly the lead late in the game. Al Michaels and John Madden have been the voice of 3 majors to keep his team's playoff spectacular. Monday Night Football for the past two seasons. hopes alive. The Patriots forced Miami into a In late December of 2003, the More bizarre than spectacular, in fourth and ten situation but couldn't Packers' playoff hopes hung in the week 15 the hopeless Miami Dolphins, stop A.J. Feeley from floating a pass balance as Brett Favre took to the even the most unlikely of teams. This yardage having thrown for only 139 who before kickoff sat at a less than to Derrius Thompson who caught the field with his teammates to face the past season I managed to catch two yards as well as also giving up two impressive 2-11, played host to the ball in the end zone right over the head Raiders in Oakland just over 24 hours impressive comebacks on Monday interceptions. defending Super Bowl Champion New of receiver/cornerback Troy Brown to after the passing of his father, Irvin Night Football which fit each of these Needless to say, the prognosis for England Patriots. give the Dolphins a one point lead. Favre. categories pretty well. getting 2 scores in 2:41 minutes To nobody's surprise, the Pats held After failing another two point In what can only be described as Under the category of spectacular, through the air was doubtful. And an 11-point lead with only 3:52 left attempt, the Dolphins gave the ball a supernatural performance, Favre on December 6th of last year, the even after Dallas QB Vinny Testaverde in the game. Given the Dolphins' back to New England with 1:17 left to threw 399 yards for four touchdowns Dallas Cowboys took a trip to Seattle completed a 34-yard TD pass to offensive ineptitude, it was.unusual to play, which was less time then it took in what was probably the most to take on the Seahawks at Qwest Keyshawn Johnson, the Cowboys still see them charge up the field to score the Patriots to kick the game-winning emotional game in Monday Night Field. Dallas, who despite having a 4-7 needed to recover an onside kick to a touchdown. However, considering field goal against the Panthers in Football history. The win tied the record, still had a very realistic chance have a reasonable shot at winning the New England running back Corey Super Bowl XXXVIII. Miami defensive Packers with the Vikings for the first of appearing in the post season while, game. And recover they did. Dillon had already rushed for 120 back Arturo Freeman intercepted place in the NFC North division and Seattle needed a win to stay tied at 6- So, having only used up just over yards, it seemed unlikely that Miami what would be Brady's fourth would inevitably lead them to their 6 with the Rams for first place in the a minute during their last TD drive, would be able to stop the Patriots giveaway of the game to solidifying second strait division title. NFC West. the Cowboys started a new drive with from running out the clock on the the Dolphins' surprising comeback. Although this was a particularly Things were looking pretty grim the ball at their own 43 yard line with ensuing drive. extraordinary example of Monday for the Cowboys as they trailed by 1:44 left on the clock, down by only Luckily for the fans at Pro Player With Monday Night Football moving night magic, prime time football ten points with only 2:41 left in the 3. Thanks to some clutch running by Stadium, unlikely isn't the same as to ESPN, it is impossible to tell if the has a funny way of drawing the game. Dallas up until this point had Dallas running back Julius Jones, impossible. magic will continue as it did on ABC spectacular as well as the bizarre from relied heavily on the run to gain the Cowboys found themselves After an incomplete pass, a one- but I guess we can only hope. Gold Medal Winner cruises through town sign autographs, shake a few hands, stripped of the gold, if only for a while, nation, giving many Canadians the Nagano, and for many, the chance to Craig Hamilton and to make a strong case for the before winning an appeal on the basis chance to meet the athlete who took meet an Olympic gold medalist is one upcoming 2010 Winter Games, to be that marijuana is not a performance- the first medal for Team Canada at that they don't have very often. Sports Editor held in his home province of British enhancing drug (and claiming that he uestion number one: What Columbia. was just in a room where the potent does a Winter Olympian Regbliati, who won the first ever BC reefer was being smoked). While Qdo when there's no snow Olympic gold medal presented for late-night talk-show hosts were on the ground? Answer: travel. snowboarding, was the King of the Hill provided with material that would last Question number two: Where does at the 1998 Nagano games, earning a few weeks, Regbliati's gold medal he go? Answer: wherever his sponsors Canada its first medal of the games. has lasted the test of time, and most tell him to go. It was in the giant slalom competition Canadians look back with pride at his That is what brought Canadian that the Whistler, B.C. native made his accomplishments. Olympian, and the first man to ever mark, besting Italian Thomas Prugger Unfortunately for Regbliati, the win the gold medal in snowboarding, by a mere two one-hundredths of a giant slalom event was not included Ross Regbliati, to Lethbridge over the second to take the top spot. in the 2002 Games in Salt Lake City, weekend. However, as most Canadians will and may not be at Vancouver either, On a tour with his Bell Canada recall, a few days later the medal but he isn't upset. His new push is sponsor group, Regbliati made a stop was in question after Regbliati tested for support for the 2010 Games, by the Park Place Mall on Saturday to positive for marijuana use. He was and he's looking for some in depth involvement with the snowboard team. Regbliati has been training on the hill, and given his knowledge of the venue, come competition time, LSAT MCAT his expertise could be a huge asset for Team Canada. The current swing of the Bell tour GMAT GRE will take Regbliati clear across the Preparation Seminars Canadian Basketball announces HofF inductees when he took three straight with the Complete 30-Hour Seminars Bulls from 1996 to 1998. He began Craig Hamilton his NBA career when Dallas selected lh Proven Test-Taking Strategies Sports Editor him i6 overall in the 1985 draft out of St. John's University'. Wennington Personalized Professional Instruction was selected ahead of NBA stars Joe Dumars, Terry Porter and A.C. Comprehensive Study Materials he Canadian Basketball Hall Green. Simulated Practice Exams of Fame has announced Kazanowski was a 10-year National Tthat former NBA champion Team veteran, and in addition to Free Repeat Policy Bill Wennington and National team his Olympic appearances, wore the standout Gerald Kazanovvski will be red and white at three FIBA World Personal Tutoring Available honored this year by entering the Hall Championships and three World Thousands of Satisfied Students in the class of 2005. University Games. He played his Wennington and Kazanowski were basketball with the University of teammates on the Canadian National Victoria Vikes, and led them to four Oxford Seminars Team for five years, and both players NBA throughout the go's, but his straight CIAU Championship titles. have received the votes required to Success wasn't fully recognized until Kazanowski was also a player on the gain entry into the Hall of Fame. The the seven-footer roamed the paint for famous 11)83 World University Gaines 1-800-269-6719 two played together for Team Canada the Chicago Hulls in the latter part squad which shocked a United States in the 1984 and 1992 Olympics. of the decade. Wennington became team featuring Charles Barkley and Wennington was one of the most the second Canadian player to earn Karl Malone en route to winning a wiArw-oxfordseminars.com recognizable Canadian faces in the a championship ring in the NBA, gold medal. *Tfie CouCee Tribune Student Source of Toilet Paper Since Your Mama's Uncle's Birthday • Volume 1 Issue 2 • Thursday, 9 June, 2005 Gestural artiste stirs up trouble with his stick

By Klaus Hybrid make with all-natural materials. "It just seems Tribune Staff like the wisest thing to do." Johnson creates magnificent gestural paintings local artist has been causing some that are often symbolic of the struggles that all controversy through his unorthodox men and women face in being happy with who Atools for painting - for while the they are. majority of painters use a brush on canvas, Peter Johnson's biggest obstacle in his professional Johnson uses his penis. life is not a technical one, rather it's the angry "It's really not that obscene," Johnson says. reception his art has been receiving throughout "Some artists paint with tampons and menstrual the Bible Belt area of Alberta. blood, others use feces - I use my dick, so "I'm almost afraid to leave my house," Johnson Johnson and his paintbrush, he asked that his face not be what?" said. He has received threats that he feels are revealed. Unfortunately, we could not reveal his palnbrush Johnson began his unique approach to art at the endangering not just his life, but that of his either. age of 14, after being inspired by Christy Brown, member. "Someone sent me a dildo with its head pleasure he receives from working, but says "I a man who could only physically control his left cut off and a note telling me "Next time it'll be wouldn't dream of doing it any other way." foot, yet overcame his handicap to become an yours." Surprisingly, Johnson has been a swinging acclaimed painter and writer. Brown was the Never one to back down from a challenge, bachelor for the last few years, but he hopes to focus of the bio-pic My Left Foot, starring Daniel Johnson asserts that the adversity only increases one day settle down with a woman with similar

Day Lewis. One of Johnson's latest works "The Plnecone Place" his artistic integrity and popularity among both interests, "preferably one who sculpts with her "When I first saw that movie it changed my hetero and homosexual communities. breasts." life. I began experimenting with my own down, lay a giant canvas on the floor of his Johnson is proud of an upcoming expose about In the meantime, Johnson rarely ventures from body, pretending that only certain parts were apartment, turn the music up, ("for inspiration," his work to be shown on late night Showcase his house, though he makes an annual pilgrimage functional," Johnson says. he says) and let the creativity flow. television in the coming weeks. to his mother Phyllis' nudist resort a few miles Through a process of trial and error, Johnson In his humble beginnings, Johnson used oil- "Once people can witness me at work, I'm sure away for tea, biscuits and beach volleyball. finally came to the conclusion that his penis was based paints to create his works but soon found they will be more openminded and accepting "He's such a nice young man," Phyllis said over the best brush on his body with which to work. that there were negative side effects on his of the penis as a legitimate artistic utensil," the phone. "I always knew he'd make something "I found that it was the best tool for the job delicate instrument. So he switched for a time to Johnson says. of himself, especially if he couldn't keep it in his because of its versatility. An erect penis creates acrylic, only to be rushed to the emergency room In fact, Johnson sees his approach as just being pants." a certain effect, and so does a limp one and then after one lapse in hygiene resulted in a painful an extension of finger painting, something that Peter Johnson's works are available from there's the pubic hair itself," Johnson said. blockage. all children are raised to take part it and enjoy. Peterjohnson.org/peepeepainting/purchase or Johnson's preferred method to work is to strip Now, Johnson only uses water-soluble paints Johnson is wary of discussing the amount of at an adult video store near you.

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