RESOURCE GUIDE Resources on homoparental families

The following is a list of resources available to professionals working with homoparental families. This list is not exhaustive, but it is an excellent starting point for those interested in learning more about the realities of and parents and their children. It is important to note that many books and videos listed here are from or the U.S., where the legal status of homoparental families and same-sex couples is different from that of Québec.

2 BOOKS AND GUIDES

Guides from the LGBT Family Coalition for LGBT parents and future parents

Adoption and Fostering of Children in Quebec: A Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and (LGBT) Future Parents This guide, a publication of the LGBT Family Coalition, is of interest to future parents and those working with them. It includes a historical overview, definitions, information about the children, their biological parents and youth protection, legal information, the process of , resources, as well as interviews with parents who have adopted and/or fostered children. www.familleshomoparentales.org/documents/pdf/CFH_Adoption_ENG.pdf

Guide for Future Lesbian and Bisexual A publication of the LGBT Family Coalition, this guide is geared specifically for lesbian and bisexual women who want to become parents. In the first section, we lay out the different paths you can choose to achieve your dream of having a child. Next, we explain the process of insemination when it’s done at a fertility clinic. In the third section, we go over the process of insemination when it’s done at home with a known donor. In the appendices, you’ll find additional tools and information to help you with your project. www.familleshomoparentales.org/documents/pdf/CFH_Future_Mothers_ENG.pdf

Legal Guide for LGBT Parents and Future Parents Conceived by the LGBT Family Coalition, this guide can inform LGBT parents and future parents about their legal rights and obligations. In an easy-to-understand language, the guide covers parental rights and responsibilities in Québec with respect to different ways of forming one’s family (fertility clinics, home inseminations, adoption, multi-parent families, surrogacy). Short summaries of legal cases are used to illustrate different specific issues that LGBT parents can confront. www.familleshomoparentales.org/documents/pdf/CFH_Legal_ENG.pdf

3 Respect and Self-Esteem: Talking about and with our kids This guide was created in response to a demand from lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual (LGBT) parents seeking advice on how best to communicate their sexual orientation and/or gender identity1 to their children. Using every day situations as a springboard we look at some of the common concerns that LGBT parents may harbour when seeking balance between honesty and protecting their children from situations that are potentially homophobic or trans phobic. The guide finishes with a look at questions specific to trans parents, as well as a list of resources. www.familleshomoparentales.org/documents/pdf/CFH_Respect_ENG.pdf

ON HOMOPARENTAL FAMILIES

Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Parenting Rachel Epstein (ed.) - Sumach Press, 2009 This groundbreaking collection of writing brings vital and refreshing insights into current discussions about queer parenting, blending narra- tive and academic voices from , the , and . The contributors are parents, prospective parents, writers, academics, lawyers, activists, health care professionals and—most significantly—queer spawn, the children of LGBTQ parents. The themes represented in these 40 essays include butches raising sons; queer youth as parents; trans experience in fertility clinics; legal and historical reflections; and adoption; race relations in the family; in queer family kids’ books; class issues within families; dealing with infertility; and parenting; discussions with sperm donors, single moms, gay dads; developments in reproductive tech- nologies; rural and urban experience; and reflections on the meanings of biology and of “queer” parenting. ISBN-10: 1894549783 and ISBN-13: 978-1894549783

Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle Abby E.Goldberg - American Psychological Association (2009) The book takes a family life cycle approach, beginning with research on how same-sex couples meet and build healthy relationships, then describing how and why same-sex couples decide to have children and how they grapple with the changing roles each partner must adopt. Their experiences raising children through young adulthood are explored, including the challenges of interacting with their children’s schools and teachers. In the end, the book considers the perspectives of the children themselves as young adults and adults speak out about their experiences having lesbian or gay parents. Integrating both qualitative and quantitative research, this book incorporates a range of disciplines, including psychology, sociology, sexuality/, and human development. With practical recommendations in every chapter, this book is an indispensable resource for those who research lesbian and gay mental health and family issues, as well as those who provide services to lesbian and gay parents and/or parents-to-be. ISBN-10: 1433805367 and ISBN-13: 978-1433805363

4 L’homoparentalité au masculin : le désir d’enfant contre l’ordre social Emmanuel Gratton and Irène Théry - PUF, “Partage du savoir”collection, 2008. (French only) Until recently, many homosexual men could only become fathers in the context of a heterosexual relationship, prior to deciding to come out and live an openly gay lifestyle. This research stands apart from others on gay fatherhood because it focuses on who start their families within a same-sex partnership. In France, gay men wanting to become fathers are faced with many obstacles. Adoption is permitted for married couples and singles over 28 years old, but is generally refused to homosexuals. Using a surrogate is illegal, and co-parenting requires a woman who is willing to be a part of the endeavour. Besides the biological and legal hurdles, the family structure dictated by society makes it difficult to express a desire for children. The first French study on gay fatherhood, this book delves into the mysteries of men’s desire for children and explores the foundations of a new type of paternity. Around thirty gay men share their longing to start a family, and the steps they have taken to make this dream come true. ISBN-10: 2130565069 and ISBN-13: 978-2130565062

Gay and Lesbian Parenting: New Directions Fiona L. Taske and Jerry J. Bigner (Eds.) - Binghamton, NY: Haworth Press, 2007. Co-published simultaneously as the Journal of GLBT Family Studies, Volume 3, Numbers 2/3 and 4 (2007), this book comprises and number of interesting research articles on families with LGBT parents. The various authors look at different ways in which LGBT parents create their families, as well as the social experiences of their children. ISBN: 978-0789031075

De l’égalité juridique à l’égalité sociale : Vers une stratégie nationale de lutte contre l’homophobie Report of the Mixed Working Group on . Commission des droits de la personne et des droits de la jeunesse Québec, 2007. (French only) This report assesses the level of homophobia and present in Québec society, and how well public services are adapting to the realities of sexual minorities. The CDPDJ also recommends key areas of intervention to fight homophobia. The unique needs of homoparental families are especially well researched and presented in this report. www.cdpdj.qc.ca/Publications/rapport_homophobie.pdf

5 Deux papas, deux mamans, qu’en penser ? Edwige Antier and Martine Gross - Calmann-Lévy, 2007. (French only) Do children growing up in a homosexual household have happy, well-balanced childhoods? Do they suffer at the hands of society—perhaps at school? Does it make any difference for children to be raised by two men or two women? Will these children have trouble developing their own ? Where does French family law stand on this topic today? With their first-hand experience, Martine Gross and Edwige Antier are frequently called upon as experts on this topic. Eager to inform the reader on the realities of these family situations, they decided to write a book. Over the course of this sharp and well-documented dialogue, two ideas of family come face to face, two ways to think about parenting, guided by a selection of concrete questions. ISBN-13: 978-2702138465

Guide bibliographique de l’homoparentalité—Édition 2007 Association des Parents Gays et Lesbiens - France, 2007. (French only) This annotated bibliography of nearly a thousand works published on homoparental families over the past fifty years contains studies, surveys, theoretical articles, essays and testimonials. All fields of study related to same-sex parenting are covered, including law and psychoanalysis. This guide is for current and future gay or lesbian parents, as well as all people interested in the topic of homoparentality. To order, contact the Association des Parents Gays et Lesbiens (www.apgl.asso.fr).

The Gay Baby Boom: The Psychology of Gay Parenthood Suzanne M. Johnson and Elizabeth O’Connor - New York University Press, 2002. Written by two developmental psychologists, this book reports the findings of The Gay and Lesbian Family Study, the largest national assess- ment of gay and lesbian headed families. By asking participants detailed questions about the way they parent, the authors are able to describe for the first time exactly what takes place within gay and lesbian headed families across the county. Traditional research has tended to assume that there is something uniquely different and potentially psychologically damaging about children being raised by gays. The authors draw on their data to show these fears unfounded. ISBN: 978-0814742600

6 Homoparentalité : Une nouvelle chance pour la famille Stéphane Nadaud - Fayard, 2002. (French only) Homoparentality is one of the most highly-debated issues in France. The reality of children being conceived and raised by homosexual parents, along with gay and ’ expression of their desire to start families, has not gone unquestioned. What is the psychological impact on children raised by these families? Is this a sign of the overall crisis of the family in Western society? What is the role of the legal system in regards to adoption by homosexual parents? Although written from a French point of view, this book is still useful in understanding the fears surrounding homoparental families. ISBN-10: 2213611610 and ISBN-13: 978-221361161

Parentalité gaie et lesbienne : famille en marge ? Conference proceedings from March 1st and 2nd, 2001 (French only) The first public event in Québec intended to demystify homoparental families served to confirm to what extent the general public was unaware of the realities of gay and lesbians. This seminar paved the way for a better understanding of their family relationships and helped to demystify their emotional experiences. The diverse reflections inspired by in-depth clinical and empirical research are gathered together here, accessible to all. Self-acceptance, family conflicts, training adapted to the realities of gays and lesbians, teenagers’ experiences and same-sex relation- ships are among the variety of topics covered. To order, please contact the Montréal branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association (www.acsmmontreal.qc.ca).

Parenting: What Really Counts Susan Golombok - Psychology Press, 2000. Golombok examines scientific proof of what is most important for children’s healthy development. In the first section, she questions the importance of having two parents, a present father, parents with a biological link to their children, or even heterosexual parents. In the second half, she looks at the psychological processes that accompany children’s optimal development, with a closer look at the quality of relationships children have with their parents, other family members and their larger social sphere. ISBN-13: 978-0415227162

7 Love Makes a Family: Portraits of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Parents and their Families Photos by Gigi Kaeser, Peggy Gillespie (Ed.) - University of Massachusetts Press, 1999. A collection of portraits and informal interviews with LGBT parents and their children. A multitude of family types are featured: gay and lesbian couples, divorced lesbians with shared custody, single parents, transgender parents and step-parents along with their children. In the accom- panying text, the subjects explain who they consider as part of their family and why, in addition to their experience as a homoparental family. The interviews reveal the same joys and struggles experienced by all families, on top of the unique challenges of being a homoparental family in a predominantly heterosexual world. The children’s words are the most telling; some talk about being teased, or of hostility directed at them because of their families. Others proudly announce that they have two moms or two dads, and that a family is made up of people that love them. A must-have for all libraries. ISBN-10: 1558491619 and ISBN-13: 978-1558491618

Des parents de même sexe Éric Dubreuil - Odile Jacob, 1998. (French only) What is a parent? What does a child need in a family? Through the stories of adults, children and teens, this book takes you on a journey into the world of homoparental families. More and more gays and lesbians are starting families, and are ready to talk about it. Because of this openness, the traditional family model has been challenged, and larger questions about filiation, adoption and assisted reproduction are being asked. These issues have an impact on all of us. ISBN-10: 2738105963 and ISBN-13: 978-2738105967

8 ON CREATING MORE INCLUSIVE SCHOOLS

Challenging Silence, Challenging Censorship: Inclusive Resources and Policy Directives for Addressing Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Trans-Identified and Two-Spirited Realities in School and Public Libraries Canadian Teachers’ Federation, 2007. (Available in French and English) This book is designed as a professional and practical resource to help educational leaders and policymakers within K-12 teaching (teachers, administrators, counsellors, and teacher librarians), together with public librarians and other community stakeholders, to learn more about how they can take action to challenge and positively change the educational conditions and social climate for LGBT youth and for children from same-gender parented families. Resources, strategies and integrated guidelines for covering LGBT realities in school and public libraries. To order, please contact the Canadian Teachers’ Federation (www.ctf-fce.ca).

Enseignement en communauté française de Belgique Beligique, 2006. (French only) This site contains numerous educational documents, including “Combattre l’homophobie : pour une école ouverte à la diversité.” This teacher’s guide provides teaching professionals with educational activities that serve to create a school environment that is more respectful of . The guide also contains information on homophobia, and strategies to fight it. In-class use is authorized as long as the source is cited. Designed for primary and secondary teachers, the dossier includes an informational component followed by 24 activities to do in class. For a digital copy, visit www.enseignement.be and search the term “homophobie.”

Gay-Straight Student Alliance Handbook: A Comprehensive Resource for Canadian K-12 Teachers, Administrators and School Counsellors. Canadian Teachers’ Federation and Kristopher Wells, 2006. (Available in French and English) A comprehensive resource for Canadian K-12 teachers, administrators and school counsellors. Gay-Straight Alliances are student-lead groups supported by teaching staff that seek to create safe, inclusive spaces for sexual-minority youth and their allies. To order, contact the Canadian Teachers’ Federation (www.ctf-fce.ca).

9 Lessons Learned—A Collection of Stories and Articles about Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Issues Canadian Teachers’ Federation, 2005. (Available in French and English) Lessons Learned is a collection of stories, articles and research studies which continues the work of Seeing the Rainbow by providing further insights into the LGBT realities of teachers and students in classrooms, schools and society. To order, contact the Canadian Teachers’ Federation (www.ctf-fce.ca).

Sexual Orientation and Homophobia: Reaching Out to Young People Montréal Youth Coalition Against Homophobia, 2005. (Available in French and English) Do you know where to refer a young person questioning his or her sexual orientation? Do you know what resources are available for LGBT youth in Montréal? Do you feel able to support a young woman in the process of ? No? Don’t worry! This awareness-raising resource guide is available to all those working with youth on the island of Montréal. To order, please contact the Montréal Youth Coalition Against Homophobia (www.coalitionjeunesse.org)

Challenging Homophobia in Schools: A K-12 Resource for Educators, Counsellors and Administrators, 2nd Edition. Pride Education Network, 2004. This book contains both new and updated lesson plans geared towards K-12 students, in addition to information encouraging schools to include the discussion of sexual orientation in their curriculum. A detailed section on homophobia and heterosexism includes information on the per- sistent, negative myths surrounding LGBT individuals, the difficulties that accompany coming out, advice, violence-preventing strategies, and suggestions for responding to homophobic insults and for supporting students in Gay-Straight Alliances. Teachers have numerous concrete and practical strategies as well as lesson plans written by fellow educators. The documentation section contains a wide array of resources for various age groups as well as for parents and professionals. A list of relevant community groups and support services, as well as related websites, is also included. To order, contact Pride Education Network (http://pridenet.ca).

10 Imagine a World that is Free from Fear: A Kindergarten to Grade Eight Resource Addressing Issues Relating to Homophobia and Heterosexism Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario, 2004. This Canadian teaching resource presents thirty-two lessons, eight of each based on four interrelated themes: Pride and Self-Respect; Safe Schools and Safe Communities; Anti-Bullying and Conflict Resolution; and Relationships. The curriculum is designed to help students recog- nize biases, challenge homophobia and heterosexism and to build communities of acceptance. To order, contact the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario (www.etfo.ca).

Démystifier l’homosexualité, ça commence à l’école : guide pédagogique Irène Demczuk - GRIS-Montréal, 2003 (French only) This pedagogical guide was created to help educators convey objective knowledge pertaining to and to counter the devastating effects of homophobia experienced by youth in general and boys especially. In addition to offering an inventory of community resources, web- sites, videos, books and films which deal with homosexuality, this teaching guide gives educators priceless information which will give them a greater ease when talking about homosexuality. The guide contains a series of activities for both the elementary and high school level as well as lesson plans on family diversity for young children. To order, contact the centre de documentation sur l’éducation des adultes et la condition féminine (http://catalogue.cdeacf.ca)

Seeing the Rainbow: Teachers Talk About Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender and Two-Spirited Realities Canadian Teachers’ Federation, 2002. (available in English and French). This engaging document presents to Canadian educators some of the social and political contexts in which bisexual, gay, lesbian, transgender and two-spirited issues in education have been, are being, and need to be addressed. To order, contact the Canadian Teachers’ Federation (www.ctf-fce.ca).

11 How Homophobia Hurts Children: Nurturing Diversity at Home, School and in the Community Jean M. Baker - Routledge, 2002. In this irrefutable and compassionate book, the author debunks the myths surrounding homosexuality that continue to spread in hallways and schoolyards. Basing her argument on the psychological perspective of the affected children, Jean M. Baker presents successful practices and policies that not only make schools safer, but can also help LGBT youth understand that they can grow up to live normal, happy lives. ISBN-10:1560231645 and ISBN-13: 978-1560231646

Dead Boys Can’t Dance: Sexual Orientation, Masculinity, and Suicide Michel Dorais - Vlb éditeur, 2000. This study tackles a double taboo: homosexuality and suicide among teenagers and young adults. In spite of fairly conclusive quantitative studies conducted in recent years, society is still hesitant to recognize the link between the social stigma of homosexuality and the high rate of suicide attempts by homosexual boys, or boys labelled as such. This is why this qualitative study, based on a number of life stories, seeks to understand how the particular experiences of these young men can lead some of them to make an attempt on their own life. ISBN-10: 2890057720 and ISBN-13: 978-2890057722

ON FAMILY DIVERSITY, GENDER STEREOTYPES, HOMOPHOBIA AND INCLUSION (for children)

Mommy, Mama, and Me Lesléa Newman - Tricycle Press, 2009 Mommy, Mama, and Me depicts the gentle, nurturing relationship of a lesbian couple and their little one. In this sweet board book, the flowing lines and warm palette of Carol Thompson’s mixed media illustrations work in concert with Lesléa Newman’s rhythmic text. Also, see this book’s gay-fathers counterpart, Daddy, Papa, and Me, by the same creators. Ages 2-4. ISBN-10: 1582462631 and ISBN-13: 978-1582462639

12 Ulysse et Alice Ariane Bertouille - Éditions du remue-ménage, 2006. (French only) A story to read to children which will make them laugh, and make them think. It will also show them that while the beauty of our world is its diversity, the daily lives of many different families are actually quite the same. With this book, parents and teachers have a precious tool in the fight against the and still faced by lesbian mothers and their children in Québec society.Ages 3-8. ISBN-10: 289091237X

Antonio’s Card/La Tarjeta De Antonio Rigoberto Gonzalez and Cecilia Alvarez - Children’s Book Press, 2005. (Bilingual: English and Spanish) Antonio loves words, because words have the power to express feelings like love, pride, or hurt. ’s Day is coming soon, and Antonio searches for the words to express his love for his mother and her partner, Leslie. But he’s not sure what to do when his classmates make fun of Leslie, an artist, who towers over everyone and wears paint-splattered overalls. As Mother’s Day approaches, Antonio must choose whether—or how—to express his connection to both of the special women in his life. Ages 6-8. ISBN-10: 0892392045 and ISBN-13: 978-0892392049

And Tango Makes Three Peter Parnell - Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, 2005. This book is based on the true story of Roy and Silo, two male penguins in New York’s Central Park Zoo. The book follows the six years of their life when they formed a couple and were given an egg to raise. The story sends the message to readers that it is okay to live, or know someone who lives, in a “non-traditional” family. Ages 3-8. ISBN-10: 0689878451 and ISBN-13: 978-0689878459

13 How it Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages Judith E. Snow - Routledge, 2004. Thirty-two individuals between the ages of 7 and 31 provide enlightening perspectives on the confusion and surrounding this issue. Snow emphasizes that problems arise due to divorce, homophobia, and discrimination from peers and politics, not because being gay or lesbian results in bad parenting skills. The voices range from naive to experienced and philosophical, depending on the narrator’s age. This inspirational, eye-opening title gives readers who have gay and lesbian parents a much-deserved voice. Ages 9-12. ISBN-10: 1560234202 and ISBN-13: 978-1560234203

Molly’s Family Nancy Garden - FSG Kids, 2004 When Molly draws a picture of her family for her kindergarten class, Tommy jeers at her that no one has two mommies. At first she is angry and hurt, but with the support of her teacher and her loving parents, Mommy and Mama Lu, she comes to accept her family. What helps her most is seeing many different kinds of families: Tanya has a mommy, a daddy, a grandma, and two brothers; Stephen has no father; Adam has no mother (“Daddy and me!”); some kids are adopted. Ages 4-8. ISBN-10: 0374350027 and ISBN-13: 978-0374350024

King & King Linda De Haan and Stern Nijland - Tricycle Press, 2002. This colourful children’s story takes a surprising turn when the prince falls in love with another prince. The vivid, brilliant illustrations will surely capture children’s imagination. A good book to demonstrate the diversity of the human experience to children. The attraction between people of the same sex is normalized. Ages 4-8. ISBN-10: 1582460612

14 Marius Latifa Alaoui M. and Stéphane Poulin - Les 400 coups, 2002. (French only) Marius is five years old. His parents are divorced. His mother lives with another man, and his dad does too. Marius loves all four of them. But one day, his grandmother tells him that “two men together, that’s not right.” Later, Marius talks to his father about this, and he explains to him why some people think this way. His teacher also thought that homosexual dads were nonsense. But Marius’s mom told her that it wasn’t nonsense, it was reality. A book for talking about homosexuality and the new types of families it creates. Stéphane Poulin’s illustrations add a poetic, tender aspect to this subject. Ages 6-9. ISBN-10: 2895400458 and ISBN-13: 978-2895400455

Menu fille ou menu garcon Thierry Lenain and Catherine Proteaux - Nathan, 1996. (French only) A fun children’s book to encourage reflection on gender differences and the sexism we encounter every day. Thierry Lenain campaigns against fitting people, especially children, into arbitrary categories… especially gender categories. Little girls can like guns, and little boys can play with dolls. They’re allowed. This book is recommended for children around the time they start forging their own identities, expressing their preferences, and discovering that there are “girl toys” and “boy toys.” A great book for parents and teachers, for the same reason. Ages 5-8. ISBN-10 : 2092508970 et ISBN-13 : 978-2092508978

One Dad, Two Dads, Brown Dad, Blue Dad Johnny Valentine - Alyson Books, 1994. Two children—one with two blue dads, one from a more traditional family—compare notes in this light-hearted book about parents who are different. In the end, of course, they discover that blue dads aren’t really that different from other dads. Ages 4-8. ISBN-13: 978-1555838485

15 Asha’s Mums Rosamund Elwin and Michele Paulse - Women’s Press, 1990. A beautifully written and illustrated children’s book, Asha’s Mums explores both the difficulty and love that exists in a family of two women and their daughter. When Asha’s lesbian mums become an issue for the teacher and the curiosity of classmates, Asha responds that having two mums is not a big deal. They are a family. Ages 4-8. ISBN-10: 0889611432 and ISBN-13: 978-0889611436

ON FAMILY DIVERSITY, GENDER STEREOTYPES, HOMOPHOBIA AND INCLUSION (for teens and pre-teens)

Annie a deux mamans Denis Paquette - Bouton d’or Acadie, 2003. (French only) A novel that tackles a rarely treated theme with aplomb: homosexuality. Through the eyes of Annie, readers follow a path to the discovery of difference, acceptance, and happiness rediscovered. Ages 10 and up. ISBN-10: 2922203646 and ISBN-13: 978-2922203646

Box Girl Sarah Withrow - House of Anansi, 2001 Gwen is a normal, bright, and independent eighth grader. When her mother, who left five years ago, begins to send her postcards from Europe, the girl begins to invent rituals to cast a spell over them to summon her mother home. Meanwhile, she must endure her school days. Her ex-best friend has moved away. Before she left, Gwen confided to her that life with her father includes Leon, his significant other. Her friend reacted with homophobic revulsion, and Gwen is determined to shield herself from future friendships. What she hasn’t bargained on is a socially clueless and irritatingly persistent classmate dead set on becoming her new friend. Ages 11-13. ISBN-10: 0888994362 and ISBN-13: 978-0888994363

16 The Misfits James Howe - Atheneum Books, 2001 What do a 12-year-old student who moonlights as a tie salesman, a tall, outspoken girl, a gay middle schooler and a kid branded as a hooligan have in common? Best friends for years, they’ve all been the target of cruel name-calling and now that they’re in seventh grade, they’re not about to take it any more. In this hilarious and poignant novel, the friends decide to run against more popular peers in the upcoming student council election. The four “misfits” are slightly larger than life wiser than their years, worldlier than the smalltown setting would suggest, and remarkably well-adjusted, but there remains much authenticity in the story’s message about preadolescent stereotyping and the devastating effects of degrading labels. An upbeat, reassuring novel that encourages preteens and teens to celebrate their individuality. Ages 10-14. ISBN-10: 0689839561 and ISBN-13: 978-0689839566

Holly’s Secret. Nancy Garden - Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2000 When seventh-grader Holly and her family move from New York City to the country, Holly hatches a plan to become sophisticated “Yvette” and to hide the fact that she has two lesbian mothers. Holly finds that her plan is a lot more difficult in practice than in theory and that it hurts the people who matter the most to her. Ages 8-12. ISBN-10: 0374332738 and ISBN-13: 978-0374332730

From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun. Jacqueline Woodson - Scholastic Paperbacks, 1997 At age 13, Melanin Sun, an African American boy growing up in Brooklyn with his single mother, sometimes longs for the days when life was as “simple as chocolate cakes and Lego sets.” Instead, his feelings grow more complicated after his mother explains that she is gay and in love with Kristin, the white woman whom she has recently invited home. “You’re a ! A dyke!” he screams at her, enraged. His shock and sense of alienation are quickly exacerbated when the neighbors begin to gossip and he becomes the object of cruel taunts. Through Melanin’s voice, Woodson’s award-winning story, frankly expresses the resentment and confusion of an adolescent desperately struggling to reestablish normalcy. She shatters stereotypes even as she evokes the tenderness of a mother/son relationship. Offering no easy answers, Woodson teaches the reader that love can lead to acceptance of all manner of differences. Ages 12 and up. ISBN-10: 0590458817 and ISBN-13: 978-0590458818

17 WEB SITES

ON HOMOPHOBIA AND LGBT RIGHTS

Amnesty International Amnesty International believes that all people, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, should be able to enjoy the full range of , without exception. By highlighting instances of abuse against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals, Amnesty’s activists work to protect the basic dignity of LGBT people. www.amnestyusa.org/our-work/issues/lgbt-rights

Commission des droits de la personne et des droits de la jeunesse (CDPDJ) The CDPDJ´s mission is to ensure the respect of Québec’s Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms. The commission has created a tool for teach- ers called “It’s Not Okay to Be Anti-Gay.” This workshop is designed to dispel various myths about homosexuality, to provide an opportunity to discuss human rights, and to offer practical suggestions. It is offered to groups of 15 teachers or other staff members who want to develop a project to defend rights and freedoms, or an educational project in human rights. www.cdpdj.qc.ca/en/formation/situations/Pages/homophobie_presentation.html

Human Rights Campaign (HRC) The HRC is America’s largest LGBT civil rights organization, working for equality of sexual orientation, expression and identity so that all LGBT Americans can be safe at home, work and in the community. Excellent guides on coming out and related family problems are available. www.hrc.org

18 International Day Against Homophobia The International Day Against Homophobia, held on May 17 every year, is a rallying event offering an opportunity for people to get together and reach out to one another. Fondation Émergence promotes this day, mainly on a pan-Canadian level and encourages organizations and individuals to highlight this event in their environment. Many interesting resources on the fight against homophobia are available on the site. (Available in French and English) www.homophobie.org

ON LGBT COMMUNITY SUPPORT

AlterHeros Alterheros is an essential resource for LGBT youth and their friends, family and teachers. A search function leads to a bank of reference texts in French and English. Those who wish can even contact a network of experts who will answer their questions, or consult a list of specialized organizations that will be able to help them. www.alterheros.com

The McGill University Sexual Identity Centre (MUSIC) MUSIC was founded in response to the lack of psychiatric services adapted to the needs of LGBT patients in the Québec health system. MUSIC provides specialized mental health care to the LGBT community and to anybody with sexual orientation issues, as well as information and support to family and friends of LGBT individuals who want to speak to a professional. Department of Psychiatry, Montréal General Hospital, 1650 Cedar, Montreal 514-934-1934 ext. 43585. www.mcgill.ca/cosum

Canadian Rainbow Health Coalition (CRHC) CRHC is a national organization whose objective is to address the various health and wellness issues that people who have sexual and emotional relationships with people of the same gender, or a gender identity that does not conform to the identity assigned to them at birth, encounter. Links to documents on the health and well-being of LGBT parents are also available. www.rainbowhealth.ca

19 Gai Écoute and Fondation Émergence Support services, hotline and information for people with questions about sexual orientation. Gai Écoute and Fondation Emergence provide free posters, stickers and pamphlets upon request. The Gai Écoute order form offers an overview of the material produced by the two organizations. The hotline is available free across Québec, from 11AM-11PM. Montréal: 514-866-0103, Elsewhere in Québec: 1-888-505-1010. Email: [email protected] (French only) www.gaiecoute.org

Gay Line/CAEO Québec CAEO Québec is a charitable volunteer organization founded in 1976 originally operating under the name of GAY LINE. Since then, the organization has grown to reflect the needs of the Québec English-Speaking LGBTQ Community and to take on a new identity. CAEO Québec currently operates three programs: GAY LINE a free and confidential listening, referral and support telephone service for the LGBT community; SILK, (Sexual Information Leads to Knowledge) an initiative to increase the awareness and knowledge of targeted groups, such as students and seniors with respect to sexual health, orientation, and diversity through free workshops; and Gay ONLINE, a free and confidential monitored chat room service, whose main focus is to provide referrals and support to the community via an online medium. Telephone: 514-866-5090 or 1-888-505-1010 www.caeoquebec.org

Jeunesse Lambda A non-profit organization based in Montréal. They offer support, discussion and activities for LGBT youth (25 and under). It was founded as a way for youth to help each other deal with issues of coming out and acceptance. (French only) www.algi.qc.ca/asso/jlambda

Project 10 A support group for LGBT youth in Montréal also offering support for parents. The “Allies Program,” created by Project 10 and Queer McGill (in collaboration with Projet Interaction) takes a look at homophobia in schools and organizes talks for students. Email: [email protected] www.p10.qc.ca

20 OTHER USEFUL LINKS FOR LGBT YOUTH www.advocatesforyouth.org www.youthproject.ns.ca www.itgetsbetter.org

FOR TEACHERS

Pride Education Network Website by LGBT educators in Vancouver. Boasts an extensive list of LGBT/anti-homophobia resources for teachers, including videos, sample lesson plans, books and links. http://pridenet.ca

GLSEN: Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (New York) This group of LGBT educators has created a substantial list of children’s books on homoparental families and LGBT issues in general. www..org

Canadian National Film Board The NFB offers a wide variety of documentaries on LGBT topics, many geared towards youth. The site’s search engine gives access to all available films (use key words, such as “gay” or “diversity”). www.nfb.ca

21 OTHER INTERESTING SITES FOR TEACHERS: www.teachers.ab.ca (Alberta Teachers’ Association—click on “diversity, equity and human rights”) www.stonewall.org.uk (Anti-homophobia organization in England) www.ctf-fce.ca (Canadian Teachers’ Federation) http://mygsa.ca (Egale Canada’s teachers’ resources)

ON HOMOPARENTAL FAMILIES

LGBT Family Coalition Online Forum An online forum of the LGBT Family Coalition with a wide variety of information and links. Disucssions for parents and future parents. http://coalitionfh.forumactif.org

American Psychological Association This site contains an excellent section on LGBT issues, including gay and lesbian parenting. www.apa.org/pi/lgbt

Association des parents et future parents gais et lesbiens (APGL) Since 1986, France’s APGL has been a resource for homosexual individuals and couples wanting to raise a family. An excellent search engine for articles on LGBT parenting. (French only) www.apgl.asso.fr

22 Family Pride Coalition (US) An American organization that supports and protects homoparental families. www.familypride.org

Forum Family Gay (France) A useful forum and community organization for homoparental families. Certain aspects are not pertinent for Québec families, but the site is chockfull of information on children, family experiences and an entire section devoted to gay fatherhood. www.familygay.org

VIDEOS/DVDs

FOR CHILDREN

A Look at Homoparental Families LGBT Families Coalition and Electrochocks Productions, 2009 The DVD provided with the Homoparental Families resource kit contains four video clips and a homoparental families slideshow. The first three clips, (Invisible Families, Children’s Experiences and Towards a Positive Future) raise awareness about the realities of homoparental families. They also help fight the myths surrounding these families, provide information about their experiences, and help professionals better serve this population. The fourth segment, entitled The Children’s Stories can be used in class with primary school students, to inspire a discussion or a journaling activity. To order the film and its viewing guide, contact the LBGT Families Coalition: www.familleshomoparentales.org

23 Let’s Get Real. Video and Curriculum Guide: Lessons and Activities to Address Name Calling & Bullying Debra Chasnoff and Helen S. Cohen, 2004. Told entirely from the point of view of teenagers, this video gives young people the chance to talk about their own experiences. Among other issues, race, perceived sexual orientation, religion, learning style and sexual harassment are all explored as they relate to bullying. The film gives a voice not only to targeted children but also to the bullies themselves, giving insight into what motivates them and how they feel about it. The most encouraging stories come from the children who were courageous enough to stand up to and say no to bullying. Ages 9-16. To order this film and its accompanying guide, contact Groundspark (http://groundspark.org).

Apples and Oranges: It’s Not Cool to be Cruel Lynne Fernie, 2003 (16 min). Apples and Oranges is a film that addresses name-calling, homophobia and stereotyping. It is an ideal discussion-starter to teach children about the negative effects of certain words and bullying behaviour. In this fun and thought-provoking video, children’s paintings magically transform into two animated adventures of Anta, Habib and Jeroux as they deal with homophobia and bullying at school. Artfully woven into these short animated stories are film clips of an actual class discussion between an equity educator and elementary school students. In a lively talk about why names are bad and hurtful, stereotypes about gays and lesbians are dismantled and new views are put into place by the children themselves. Apples and Oranges challenges young viewers to think about their responses to people and families different from their own. Ages 9-14. To order, contact the Canadian National Film Board (www.nfb.ca).

That’s a Family: A Film for Kids about Family Diversity. Video and viewing guide Debra Chasnoff and Helen S. Cohen - Groundspark Films, 2002. This film introduces kids to a wide array of family types. The interviewees, who double as virtual narrators of the film, include children of sin- gle-parent homes, gay and lesbian parents, multiracial families, adoptive households, and other diverse home experiences. The film contains a discussion, a teacher’s guide with structured lessons, suggestions for class discussions at different levels and additional resources for teachers, families and children. Ages 6-12. To order the film and the viewing guide, contact Groundspark (http://groundspark.org).

24 Sticks and Stones: Words that Hurt and How Young People Can Overcome Them Jan Padgett, 2001. Filmed partially at Dickens Elementary School in Vancouver, this resource features students ages 5-12 describing how they feel when they hear put-downs of themselves or their families in this video for kids, their educators, and parents. Children learn from subtle clues what society thinks about gender roles, same-sex parents and family differences. The children in Sticks and Stones vividly describe how it feels to be teased when their families don’t follow traditional roles. They talk about why bullies indulge in name-calling and what they think should be done about it. Ages 9-16. To order, contact the Canadian National Film Board (www.nfb.ca).

Both My Moms’ Names are Judy: Children of Lesbians and Gays Speak Out Lesbian and Gay Parents Association, 1994. (Available in English and Spanish) This video was produced as part of an in-service training for elementary school educators and administrators. It presents a diverse group of children (ages 7-11) who have lesbian and gay parents. In candid interviews, they talk about who is in their families, how it feels to be teased about their parents, how classroom silence about homosexuality affects them, and what they would like to see change. Running time: 11 minutes. Training materials for the supplementary guide Overcoming Homophobia in the Classroom are also available. Ages 6-12. To order, contact the Lesbian and Gay Parents Association (LGPA) by mail at 260 Tingley Street, San Francisco, CA, 94112 or by e-mail: [email protected] or [email protected]

FOR ADULTS

A Look at Homoparental Families LGBT Families Coalition and Electrochocks Productions, 2009

The DVD provided with the Homoparental Families kit contains four video clips and a Homoparental Families Slideshow. The first three clips, (Invisible Families, Children’s Experiences and Towards a Positive Future) raise awareness about the realities of homoparental families. They also help fight the myths surrounding these families, provide information about their experiences, and help professionals better serve this population. The fourth segment, entitled The Children’s Stories can be used in class with primary school students, to inspire a discussion or a journaling activity. To order the film and its viewing guide, contact the LBGT Families Coalition: www.familleshomoparentales.org

25 It’s STILL Elementary Debra Chasnoff and Helen Cohen - Women’s Education Media, 2007. It’s STILL Elementary looks at the impact the original film has had over the last decade, why it was made in the first place and why the film is still relevant today. It also follows up with some of the original teachers and students from the first film and asks them how lessons about LGBT people changed their lives—the results are moving and profound. Also includes the high-profile, controversial PBS broadcast and the infamous right-wing attacks unleashed on the film and its creators. A moving story about the power of documentary film and grassroots organizing. To order the film and the accompanying guide, contact Groundspark (http://groundspark.org).

Politics of the Heart Nancy Nicol, 2005. Filmed in Québec, Politics of the Heart is a moving portrait of lesbian and gay families and the extraordinary story of how they banded together to fight violence and discrimination and achieved legal recognition of their partnerships, families and parental rights. Thanks to their work, Québec’s National Assembly unanimously voted in 2002 to give the same legal rights to gay and lesbian parents as heterosexual parents. Integrated into the story is the tale of the Québec trial that ended the law prohibiting same-sex couples to marry, making Québec Canada’s third province to recognize same-sex marriage. To order, contact Groupe Intervention Video (www.givideo.org).

Daddy & Papa Johnny Symons, 2002. Daddy & Papa explores the growing phenomenon of gay fatherhood and its impact on American culture. Taking us inside four gay male families, Daddy & Papa traces the day-to-day challenges and the larger, critical issues that inevitably intersect their private lives—the ambiguous place of interracial families in America, the wonder and precariousness of surrogacy and adoption, the complexities of marriage and divorce within the gay community, and the legality of their own parenthood. Daddy & Papa offers a revealing look at gay fathers who are pioneers, championing the evolution of the American family. To order, visit www.daddyandpapa.com.

26 Silence SVP Centrale des syndicats du Québec, 2002. This video examines the different faces of homophobia in schools and in the workplace. It was produced in collaboration with the CSQ’s Comité des droits gais et lesbiennes for teenagers questioning their sexual orientation or who have a homosexual parent. How can youth deal with their peers’ prejudices and with the silence around homosexuality that exists in the education system? How does their sexual orientation impact the professional lives of gays and lesbians? Should they hide or disclose their homosexuality? What are the consequences of coming out? The film tackles these tough questions through touching personal stories. (French only) To order, contact the Centrale des syndicats du Québec (http://promotions-videos.csq.qc.net).

Our House Meema Spadola, 2000. A ground-breaking documentary that explores what it’s like to grow up with gay or lesbian parents. Traveling to urban, rural and suburban com- munities in Arizona, Arkansas, New and New York, director Meema Spadola (the daughter of a lesbian mom and the director of Breasts: A Documentary) profiles the sons and daughters of five families— African American, Latino and white; Mormon, Christian, and Jewish—who illustrate some of the diversity of America’s gay and lesbian families. To order, contact First Run Features (www.firstrunfeatures.com).

It’s Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues at School Debra Chasnoff and Helen Cohen, 1997 - Groundspark Films. This ground-breaking, award-winning production was filmed in elementary school classrooms. Meant for an adult audience, the film provides a window into what really happens when teachers address lesbian and gay issues with their students in age-appropriate ways. Described as “funny, touching, and fascinating,” this progressive film presents a powerful case for making anti-gay prejudice an educational issue. Featuring work with elementary school students and interviews with teachers, it demonstrates how elementary schools can successfully address this sensitive area of teaching respect for all. It models excellent teaching about family diversity, name-calling, stereotypes, community-building and more. A 24-page viewing guide is included. To order, contact Groundspark (http://groundspark.org).

27 OTHER RESOURCES

“Family Diversity” Poster LGBT Family Coalition The beautiful illustrations of Marie-Claude Favreau highlight the theme, “Family Diversity: It’s All About Love.” This one-metre long poster is an excellent way to show family pride in your home, office or at your child’s school. Types of families shown: homoparental, multi-ethnic, multi-generational, divorced and blended, single-parent, adoptive, and heteroparental. To order, contact the LGBT Family Coalition, (www.familleshomoparentales.org).

Centrale des syndicats du Québec. Sessions de formation The CSQ’s Comité des droits des gais et lesbiennes organizes “Comment adapter nos interventions aux réalités homosexuelles?” training sessions in different regions of Québec. (French only) Montréal head office: 9405, rue Sherbrooke Est, Montréal (Québec) H1L 6P3. Telephone : 514 356-8888

Enlignons-nous vers les mots sans maux A tested method that unites school personnel, students and parents around a shared vision and a joint effort to combat school violence. Training includes issues surrounding homophobic harassment. (French only). Information and registration: Contact the Regroupement des maisons d’hébergement et de transition pour les victimes de violence conjugale at 514-879-9134. www.maisons-femmes.qc.ca

GLSEN GLSEN provides educators and community members with the background knowledge, skills, and tools necessary to make schools safer and more affirming places for LGBT students. Because the needs of educators vary greatly from one community to another, GLSEN’s resources encompass a broad range of strategies. www.glsen.org

28 Les GRIS du Québec These organizations favour interactive interventions. Volunteer trainers, who are for the most part young gays, lesbians and bisexuals, share their lives and their knowledge about homosexuality and bisexuality in ways that are adapted to teaching young audiences. The teaching method raises awareness about prejudice and homophobic behaviours that occur at school. The organizations work primarily in high schools, youth centres and in youth protection in order to raise awareness about homosexuality and bisexuality amongst youth. In the Greater Montreal area volunteers are available to carry out activities in elementary (Cycle 3) and secondary schools, in both English and French. Information and registration: www.gris.ca/lesgrisduquebec

Ministry of Health and Social Services (MSSS) The “Pour une nouvelle vision de l’homosexualité : intervenir dans le respect des orientations sexuelles” training offered by the MSSS equips personnel in education, health and social services and community organizations to identify and act on the specific vulnerabilities of LGBT clients and improve their access to quality services. (French only) www.csn.qc.ca (Enter “nouvelle vision homosexualité” into the search engine)

“A Look at Homoparental Families: Understanding Their Realities to Better Meet the Needs of Their Children” and “Family Diversity and Strategies to End Homophobia” Workshops offered by the LGBT Family Coalition to demystify the realities of homoparental families and to fight discrimination. The coalition equips participants to work towards more inclusive practices, and provides practical tools to help them fight homophobia and heterosexism. These workshops are offered across Québec, and are designed for those working with elementary and high school youth, as well as families, in schools, health and social services, community organizations and all those working with LGBT clients. An intervention kit is offered free to all workshop participants. It includes various tools and resources to inform professionals and help them fight heterosexism and homophobia in their institutions. Information and registration: 514 878-7600. Email: [email protected] www.familleshomoparentales.org

29 SILK (Sexual Information Leads to Knowledge) SILK, in association with Allies Montréal, is a program developed by Gayline to help raise awareness and improve high school, CÉGEP and university students’ understanding of sexual orientation and sexual diversity. The workshop presents a positive image of homosexuality and healthy sexuality in hetero and homosexual communities. Information and registration: 514 866-5090 (Montréal region) and 1 888 505-1010 (Elsewhere in Québec). http://caeoquebec.org

Mise au jeu Theatre Troop Since 1991, Mise au jeu has been creating original theatrical interventions covering social and psychosocial issues, presented in Montréal and in regions. Mise au jeu creatively inspires thousands of youth and adults to become vectors for change in their environments. They present a play called “H… muet” that raises awareness about homosexuality. (French only) Information: 514 871-0172, [email protected] www.miseaujeu.org

COMMUNITY ORGANIZATIONS FOR HOMOPARENTAL FAMILIES

Association des pères gais de Montréal (APGM) A group providing assistance, support and a discussion forum for fathers who were in a previous heterosexual relationship and want to assert themselves as gay men. (French only) www.algi.qc.ca/asso/apgm

Association des pères gais de l’Outaouais (APGO) A group providing assistance, support and a discussion forum for fathers who were in a previous heterosexual relationship and want to assert themselves as gay men. (French only) www.ptsottawa.org

30 LGBT Family Coalition The coalition is a bilingual group of LGBT parents and future parents in Québec, working on all fronts related to homoparental families, but especially on fighting homophobia in schools. We are concerned with medical, legal, psychological and social issues affecting our families. The Coalition created this toolkit and the A Look at Homoparental Families: Understanding Their Realities to Better Meet the Needs of Their Children training program. To plan a training session or order our materials, contact 514 878-7600. Email: [email protected] www.familleshomoparentales.org

COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) COLAGE is the only international organization specifically fighting for the rights of children with LGBT parents. Their site contains a lengthy list of resources for children of transgender parents. COLAGE also offers a good selection of books for parents and children. www..org

LGBT Adoption and Fostering Discussion Group This bilingual group is for LGBT parents and future parents. The group holds meetings every two months on topics related to adoption or fostering, featuring a presenter or a discussion group. The group can be contacted via the LGBT Family Coalition. www.familleshomoparentales.org

LGBTQ Parenting Network (Toronto) This network provides resources, information and support to LGBT parents and their families. Thanks to this network, LGBT parents share information and fight for their rights. Certain members are also available to speak in schools. Email: [email protected] www.lgbtqparentingconnection.ca/home.cfm

31 OTHER USEFUL GROUPS

PFLAG: Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays—Canada www.pflag.ca

PFLAG Resources in Chinese www.pflag.org.cn

TransFamily Support group for transgender and transsexual people, their parents, partners and other family members, friends and members of their entour- age. They provide information by phone and in print on all trans-related issues. Although their meetings are held in Cleveland, Ohio, the internet helps them reach people and families worldwide. www.transfamily.org

32 www.familleshomoparentales.org © 2014 - LGBT Family Coalition