Boxford Council on Aging * 4 Middleton Rd * Boxford, MA 01921 * (978) 887-3591

March 2017

Cyber/Internet Security Presentation St. Pat’s Luncheon Thursday, March 2nd at 12:30 PM Wednesday, March 15th, Noon Mike Rioux, a Boxford senior and Certified Information Systems First Congregational Church Hall Security Professional, retired Naval Intelligence officer, and retired How about a nice Irish boiled dinner with corned beef, cabbage, Air Force cybersecurity analyst, will present a talk on using the In- carrots, turnips and red potatoes. This year we are serving “Red ternet safely. Corned Beef.”) For those who don’t like corned beef, regardless of the color, there is always baked bam as a substitute. The talk will focus on the simple steps we should take to minimize our vulnerabilities. He will discuss malware, phishing, fake IRS As usual, Reservations Are Required. The Boxford COA van is emails and calls, and Nigerian princes. Learn how to use the Inter- available if you don’t wish to drive and/or fight for a decent parking net safely and avoid being a victim. The talk will last about 30 space. Please let us know at time of reservation if you want to minutes. Questions during and after the presentation will be en- use the van service. courages. Entertainment will be Brian Corcoran We’ve had Brian for a couple The COA highly recommends those seniors who aren’t computer of years now and he has all the Irish songs and ballads down fast savvy to attend this presentation. Those seniors who are comforta- along with some of the Irish jokes. So stay and enjoy a laugh or ble around computers are also urged to attend — the scammers two and a lot of toe tapping when he breaks into his vast selection are smart and always thinking of new ways to cheat people — es- of Irish songs. pecially seniors. This yearly event is hosted by The Friends of the Boxford COA. Daylight Saving Begins Saturday/Sunday, March 11/th12th Masco St. Pat’s Dinner The old verse — “Spring Ahead, fall back.” The nicest thing Friday, March 17th, 4 to 6 PM about Daylight Saving time is that the days are getting longer and Boxford seniors are cordially invited by the Masco. Student Coun- spring is around the corner which means warmer weather and the cil to attend a St. Pat’s Dinner on Friday, March 17th at 4 PM. end of snow storms — although, so far we have been lucky. The dinner will be held at the Masco Cafeteria — entrance is the door to the right of the front door at Masco — student drop-off While changing your clocks — don’t forget to change your batteries area. Please call the COA to make your reservations — which in your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. Also — it wouldn’t must be in by March 9th. hurt to check the dates on the detectors to see if it’s time to get new ones. Don’t forget they only have a life of 10 years at the most. If you’re unsure of where to fine the manufactures date — call the Clips From Old Musicals Boxford Fire Department to have one of our wonderful fire depart- Thursday, March 23rd at 12:30 PM ment people come out to your home and check them out. At time Dan Tremblay will at the COA on Thursday, March 23rd to show of visit, they will, if requested, assess your home for the proper us clips from old film musicals going back to the 1940’s up to to- detectors and locations or assist in replacing batteries or detectors day. This presentation will run around a half hour. Samples of the that have been purchased by the homeowner. musicals shown might include Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Sound of Music, etc. This presentation will be right after lunch. If The Boxford Fire Department applied, and received, another grant you want to join us for lunch — please call the COA to make your allowing them to purchase and install battery operated detectors (at reservation by Wednesday, March 22nd before 11 AM. Meals no cost) in the homes of our Boxford seniors. If interested — call are served at 11:30 AM and the cost is $2.00 per person. At this the Boxford COA to sign up for an inspection/possible replacement time — we do not have a March Lunch Menu but should have it by of your battery operated detectors. the first of March. Classes, Activities Page 2

LINE DANCING Village Garden Club meets the 3rd Friday of PC Assistance the month at Four Mile Village but not limited to The Boxford COA has a volunteer who can help you With Patty or Bertha Four Milers. There are openings for seniors Classes are held on Monday and Thursday morn- with your PC woes — whether it be hardware or 80+ who would like to join the group. Call some various types of software. If you need help ing between the hours of 10:00 – 11:00 AM. The Doffy Falk at (978) 887-8495 for more infor- cost is $3.00 per class. and would like to set up an appointment — please mation. call the COA. All Ages Welcome All 80+ Seniors Welcome All are welcome

CHAIR YOGA With Lisa MIXED BAG ARTS & CRAFTS Facebook Assistance Classes are held on Wednesdays at 9 AM. The Mixed Bag Arts & Crafts is currently on hold. cost is $3.00 per person. Please call the COA for Now that we’ve covered the basics (and more) We will resume it at a later date — probably on using Facebook — Maggie will now be avail- more information. spring but…. All Ages Welcome All Are Welcome. able on a one-to-one to help you with your problems. This will be by appointment only. So, if you need help please call the COA to YOGA CLASSES With Mary HANDY MAN setup your appointment. Classes are held on Tuesday from 10 to 11 AM Our handyman is willing to help with small jobs and Thursday from 12:30 to 1:30 PM. The cost is around the house — fixing light switches or All Seniors welcome $3.00 per class. changing locks. Please call the COA for info. All Ages Welcome CHANGING EVENTS

Office of Senator Tai Chi With Kampa Bruce E Tarr Acrylic and Watercolor Constituent Services Classes are held on Wednesdays at 10:15 AM. Art Classes The cost is $3.00 per person. Please call the Advisor Price Increase COA for more information. Richard Curran’s next meeting will be on Tues- day, March 14th between the hours of 12:30 With Mary Paganelli All Ages Welcome Both Watercolor and Acrylic Art classes are now and 1:30 PM. No reservations required. held together on Mondays from 9:30 AM to 10:30 All Are Welcome WEDNESDAY ZUMBA With AM. The cost is $10.00 per class. Materials need-

Kym ed are the responsibility of the student — we have a Classes are held every Wednesday from 1:30 to Gerry Maguire list of suggested supplies. If you have any ques- 2:30 PM. With Kym . Classes are $3.00 per per- VETERANS SERVICES tions, please call the COA. son. Gerry Maguire, our VA Rep, will be here every All Ages Welcome All Ages Welcome first Wednesday of the month for appointments only starting at 10 AM. If he doesn’t have an COA BOARD MEETING MONDAY ZUMBA With Kathy appointment — he will not be here. Call the The COA Board meetings are usually held on the Classes are held every Monday from 11:15 to COA to schedule an appointment. second Wednesday of each month. Tentative date 12:15 PM Kathy. Classes are $3.00 per person. All Vets or families of Vets Welcome for March 8th at 9:30 All Ages Welcome All are Welcome HEALTH BENEFITS CHAIR ZUMBA With Kathy SHINE REP The Wonders of Science Classes are held every Tuesday, starting at 9 AM Our SHINE Rep is Mary Lou Fierro. If you The Wonders of Science is usually the third Tues- to 9:45. Classes are $3.00 per person and no pre need to meet with a SHINE Rep — call the day of the month starting at 9 AM. The next meet- -signup is required. COA to set up an appointment. Mary Lou will ing is scheduled for Tuesday, March 21st and the All Ages Welcome be available by appointment only on the third subject will be more on the “.Most Interesting Ideas Tuesday of each month starting at 10 AM with in Science and Technology for 2016.” GAME DAY (MAHJONGG) a maximum of 3 appointments. All are welcome

Wednesday’s at 1 PM

We have Rummikub, Scrabble, Yahtzee, Monop- NEWS AND VIEWS FACTS & FIGURES Facts and Figures is usually the second Tuesday of oly, Checkers, Cribbage, Mahjongg and much News and Views meets every Tuesday at 9:00 the month starting at 9 AM. The next planned meet- more. Video games — we have Wii. AM. Come and meet with your peers to dis- ing will be on March 14th and the topic of conversa- All Ages Welcome cuss current events, town issues and whatever tion will be House of Representatives.. else is put on the table.. It’s a fun time and All are welcome many different topics are discussed GREAT GROUP All are welcome The Great Group, sponsored by The Boxford Places To Go/Things To Do Page 3

or $879/pp single occup. The trip in- Boxford COA with Boxford COA With cludes roundtrip Deluxe Motorcoach Collette Vacation Best of Times Transportation, lodging at the Roosevelt Hotel, full American buffet breakfast each Mackinac Island Adam Trent — Magician morning at the hotel, a visit to the Sep- May 9—16, 2017 April 19th tember 11th Museum and Memorial, a Visit America’s heartland on a journey Lantana’s, Randolph MA ferry ride to Liberty & Ellis Island w/ through the coastal regions of the Midwest. Adam Trent — the Star of the Broad- admission to the Statue of Liberty with a The tranquil beauty of Mackinac Island and way hit show — The Illusionists and the Best of Times Travel Tour Director. You the Great Lakes region comes alive amid old- #1 selling magic show in the world will will have plenty of free time to enjoy mu- fashioned traditions. Hi-lites of this trip in- be there to entertain you with his “slight seums, shows, shopping, etc. A deposit clude Chicago, Millennium Park, Holland of hand” and quick wit.. Adam Trent of $50/pp confirms your reservation and Tulip Festival, Grand Rapids, Mackinac Is- has been described as “Justin Timber- final payment is due by April 7, 2017. If land, The Grand Hotel, Frankenmuth and a lake meets David Copperfield.” Enjoy paying by credit card — payment in full is choice of Greenfield Village or Henry Ford a lunch of either panko crusted chicken do at time of reservation. A trip protection Museum. Please refer to travel brochure for breast or a vegetarian meal. Cost is fee of $50/pp ensures a full refund less more information on this trip. Cost is $3149/ $95.00/pp which includes lunch, show, the trip protection fee regardless of the pp dble occup, $4149 single occup. and tax & gratuity. A deposit of $20/pp is cancellation date. The trip protection fee $3099/pp triple occup. If paying by credit due at time of reservation and balance must be paid in full at time of deposit/ card, payment in full is due at time of reser- by March 1, 2017. If paying by credit registration. vation. A deposit of $250/pp is due at time of card — payment in full is do at time of Stayin’ Alive reservation and final payment is due by Feb- reservation. ruary 1st, 2017. The World’s #1 Tribute to Trip to Washington DC Alaska Discovery Land & the Bee Gees April 27 thru 30, 2017 May 23, 2017 at the Cruise This trip includes Deluxe Motorcoach July 4 thru 16, 2017 transportation, 3 nights hotel lodging at Danversport Yacht Club Highlights include visits to Fairbanks, Stern- the Courtyard by Marriott Landover, Stayin’ Alive with the vocal match of Tony wheeler Discovery, Music of Denali Dinner MD, Six (6) meals (2 dinners, 1 lunch, 3 Mattina, Todd Sharman and George Theatre, Denali National Park, Tundra Wil- breakfasts including an evening at To- Manz, creates a realistic sense of hearing derness Tour, Luxury Domed Rail, Whitier, by’s Dinner Theater). Admission to all and experiencing the brothers’ Gibb live Hubbard Glacier, Glacier Bay, Skagway, Ju- Washington Touring Venues, Tour Mo- in Concert. Cost is $69/pp for the show neau, Ketchikan and Inside Passage. Costs bile at Arlington National Cemetery, with and lunch — no transportation. Lunch is varies depending on whether you have an the services of a highly experienced a choice of stuffed breast of chicken or inside cabin, outside cabin or balcony cabin. Best of Times Tour Director with you baked scrod. A deposit of $20/pp is due Please call the COA for more information or throughout the trip. Cost is $549/pp at time of reservation and final payment is stop by for the brochure. A deposit of $250/ dble occup. or $699 /pp single occup.. due by April 1st. If paying by credit card pp is due at time of reservation and final pay- A deposit of $50/pp confirms your reser- — payment in full is due at time of reser- ment is due by March 3, 2017. vation and final payment is due by vation. .Southern Charm March 16, 2017. If paying by credit Tall Ships—2017 card — payment in full is due upon reg- October 15—21, 2017 Monday, June 19, 2017 istration. A Trip Protection Program is Highlights of this trip include Historic Charles- Boston will welcome crews and cadets available for a fee of $75/pp which must ton, Boone Hall Plantation or Patriots Naval & from across the world for the Tall Ships be paid in full at time of deposit/ Maritime Museum, Savannah, Andrew Low Regatta. Which will have the sailing ships registration. Please refer to brochure House, Jekyll Island, St. Simons Island and of the 18th and 19th centuries. The cost for more information. St. Augustine. Book before 4/14/17 and save is $95/pp which includes transportation $50/pp. Cost is (if booking now) $2749/pp/ New York City and a meal choice at the Venezia Water- dble occup., $3449/pp/single occup., $2719/ May 19 thru 21, 2017 front Restaurant of either Chicken Parme- pp/triple occup. A deposit of $500/pp is due There’s nothing quite like the allure of san with Pasta or Schooner Atlantic upon reservation. If you purchase their Trav- New York City. The hotel (Roosevelt Baked Haddock. A deposit of $20/pp is el Protection Plan, the deposit is only $250/ Hotel on Madison & 45th) is located in due at time of reservation and final pay- pp plus the cost of the insurance. Final pay- the heart of NY City midtown and is in ment is due by May 1st. If paying by ment is due by August 16, 2017. walking distance from many major credit card — payment in full is due at sights. The cost is $599/pp dble occup time of reservation.

More Things To Do Page 4

Boxford COA Activities COA Is Still Looking For Help The Boxford COA is still looking to fill the Tuesday Receptionist March 20th—1 to 3 PM position. The house would be from 9 AM to as latest at 1 PM every Tuesday. The work involves covering the phone, making Bone Density Testing calls on behalf of the COA, data entry (computer skills neces- VNA Care will offer Bone Density Testing (Osteoporosis Risk) on sary) and whatever needs doing. This position is on the Tax- March 20th between the hours of 1 PM to 3 PM. Appointments Work-off Program. are required and limited so call the Boxford COA to request an appointment. Another position at the COA is a person to pickup the Tuesday and Thursday Congregate Lunches at the Cole School, return Your test results will help you and your physician decide the best the dishes after lunch and help serve during lunch. This position course of action for your bone health. The VNA will also provide only runs from September to June during the school year information to support good bone health through lifestyle changes — for example — diet and exercise. Movie Time at the COA

Osteoporosis is a “silent disease” where decreased bone strength (Movies subject to change) increases the risk of a broken bone. This disease may affect as March Movies many as one out of two women after menopause. This means you 2017 Oscar Nominated Movies may have thinning bones and may not know it. Mar 2: No Movie — Presentation instead Mar 9: Manchester by the Sea Osteoporosis is the most common reason for a broken bone among Mar 16: Arrival the elderly. Bones that commonly break include the back bones, Mar 23: No Movie — Presentation instead the bones of the forearm and the hip. Until a broken bone occurs Mar 30: Hell or High Water — there are typically no symptoms. Bones may weaken to such a degree that a break may occur with minor stress or spontaneously. Movies are shown immediately following the Thursday Congre- Chronic pain and a decreased ability to carry out normal activities gate Lunch. If you wish to join us for lunch — reservations are may occur following a broken bone. required and the cost is $2/pp. If you only wish to see the movie — there is no cost but you should call before to make sure we are definitely showing the movie advertised movie that day. Most Congregate Lunches of the movies shown at the COA are available to our seniors to Tuesday and Thursdays borrow and watch in the comfort of your own home. Upcoming The Boxford COA serves Congregate Lunches on most Tuesdays movies — Hidden Figures, La La Land, Moonlight and Patriots and Thursdays throughout the school calendar year. The cost of Day. the lunch is $2.00 per person and luncheon is served at 11:30 AM.. The monthly lunch menu can be found on the Town of Boxford’s Lunch Bunch Trips website at www.town.boxford.ma.us. Click on “Departments” and Unless otherwise noted, $3.00 per person covers the cost of tak- then click on “Council on Aging” in the drop-down menu. There you ing the van. The cost of the meal or event is your responsibility. will find the current month’s Menu along with the Van Schedule, Seating is limited to 16 (unless you plan on using your own vehi- Newsletter and Activities Calendar. cle) and reservations are required. Trips may be canceled due to lack of interest or inclement weather. Call the COA to Reservations are required. Reservations must be made by 11 make your reservations. The “Lunch Bunch” is open to all sen- AM on a working day before the day of the lunch, i.e., Tuesday iors so don’t hesitate to call. lunch on Monday or if the COA is closed on Monday, then the res- ervation must be made on Thursday. Ditto with Thursday lunch — by 11 AM on Wednesday unless the COA is closed on Wednesday. Wednesday, March 22nd I know it’s confusing but…… If you cancel your reservation the day Windward Grille of the lunch or after COA hours the working day before the lunch, With the winter months upon us and the uncertainty of weather or just don’t show up, you are still responsible for the cost of that and road conditions — the Lunch Bunch goes local — no long lunch. trips. Windward Grill is a new one that was recommended to try by one of our seniors. Their menu is well rounded and prices The COA van is available, at not cost, for those Boxford seniors looked reasonable. They are located in Essex MA which isn’t too who need a ride to and from the lunch. Please let us know at time far so — what the heck, lets try it. The van will leave the COA of reservation if you required the COA Van Service. around 11:00 AM.. Please call the COA at (978) 887-3591 if you are interested.

This ‘n That Page 5

Sour Cream Pie

This is untested at the moment but looks quite interesting.

Ingredients: 1 cup (1/2 pint) sour cream 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese (softened) 1/2 cup sugar 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed 1 prepared 9-inch graham cracker pie crust

What to do: 1. In a large bowl, combine sour cream, cream cheese, sugar and vanilla extract; mix well. 2. Fold in whipped topping, then pour mixture into pie crust. 3. Chill at least 6 hours before serving.

You can top the pie with various pieces of fruit and drizzle it with chocolate to make more appetizing and pretty. I do plan on trying it as it seems so easy but probably not before this goes to press.

Notes: Use your own homemade pie crust or buy one already prepared — whichever you prefer. Other comments on this was to substitute the vanilla with lemon extract and add lemon zest.

Federal and State Income Taxes real reason to close the toilet lid is a phenomenon known as a “toilet plume.” Filing Deadline April 18th, 2017 You want to know why???? When you flush a toilet, the swirling wa- No Tax Assistance Program Available ter that removes your waste from the bowl also mixes with small parti- cles of that waste, shooting aerosolized feces into the air. (How’s that Thru CAI In Haverhill for a shocker?) In last months Newsletter, we ran an article stating that Com- munity Action, Inc. (CAI), located at 3 Washington Sq., Haver- Low-flow toilets have decreased this risk — they don’t gush or blast hill, was available for an IRS sponsored VITA (Volunteer In- as much as other types of johns — but countless old toilets are still in come Tax Assistance) Program. Unfortunately — that is no use today and can really spew. A microbiologist at New York Univer- longer true. sity says that aerosol plumes can reach as high as 15 feet. So, it’s a good idea to lower the seat, especially if the bathroom is used by To Our Woodcarving Class Attendees multiple people. It’s with sadness that we have to report the passing of Fred Arakelian — our Woodcarving Instructor. Fred taught Wood- A study, published before the adoption of low-flow toilets (1975), carving Classes from spring to fall and then took the winter off. found that whatever you put in your toilet can stay there long after you The class involved taking an ugly piece of wood and turning it flush. After seeding a toilet bowl with potentially infectious bacteria into a beautiful work or art. We will miss Fred. and viruses, the researchers found that the toilet dispersed the mi- crobes far enough to settle on other bathroom surfaces, like the floor, The Friends of the Boxford Council on Aging is currently doing the sink and even your toothbrush. a search to find a replacement for Fred so we may still be able to have Woodcarving Classes. We will keep you informed. The microbes also remained on the toilet bowl’s porcelain surface after multiple flushes. A more recent scientific review article found The Bathroom Toilet Seat similar dispersion results, although it didn’t find any evidence support- You gotta read this article thru to the end. I’ve been doing this ing or denying that disease could be transferred through a toilet for years now. Also — it the toilet seat is up in my bathroom, I plume. More disgusting research is needed to truly gauge the danger know one of my kids stopped by. of these aerosolized fecal particles.

It has long been a complaint of women that men do not put the So — don’t worry too much if you come into contact with the contents toilet seat down. Well — now it’s equal, women should also put of a toilet plume. the seat down — really the lid and get the men to do the same. And while it may put some household arguments to rest, the It is recommended to keep your toothbrush and other articles used in your mouth — in your medicine cabinet for sanitary purposes. Health & Wellness Page 6

PODIATRY: Dr. Richard Manolian will be here, by WELLNESS CLINIC. The VNACare Network and Elder appointment only, on Wednesday, March 1, starting at Services will be holding their free Wellness Clinics on the first and 9:00 AM The fee is $30 per session which is payable at third Wednesday of each month from 9:00 to 11:00 AM at FMV time of appointment. Checks should be made out to Dr. and the first and third Thursday from 11:00-1:00 PM at the COA. Manolian — no credit cards. Dr. Manolian is available at For an appointment at the COA,, call Joan Fitzpatrick RN, at 888- the COA on a monthly basis. Call the COA at (978)887- 663-3688 , Ext. 1326 or Faith Theokas at 888-663-3688 for the 3591 to make an appointment or call Dr. Manolian’s office Four Mile Village appointment.. Walk-ins are welcome. for an office appointment at (978)887-8686.

SEATED MASSAGE. Renee Parent, a licensed massage HEARING CLINIC: Tuesday, March 14th, starting therapist, has offered her gentle hands to relieve the stress and at 9:30 AM, Nicole Kalukiewicz, from Rogers Hearing tension of any senior interested. Sessions are 20 minutes of Solutions, will be here to give FREE hearing tests. Please relaxation in her massage chair for $10. Renee is available most call the COA to make an appointment Monday mornings, by appointment only. To make an appoint- ment, please call Renee at (508) 335-1675.

Getting Ready for a Doctor’s Visit to discuss with the doctor if you forget, take notes during the visit, and help you remember what the doctor said.

A basic plan can help you get the most out of your medical appoint- 6. Plan for an interpreter if you know you’ll need one. Ar- ment. range with your doctor’s office for an interpreter before your visit. Make sure the interpreter clearly understands your 1. Make a list of your concerns and prioritize them. Do you symptoms and/or conditions, so the information is accurately have a new symptom you want to ask the doctor about? Do you communicated to the doctor. Let the doctor, your interpreter, want to get a flu shot? Are you concerned about how a treat- or the staff know if you do not understand your diagnosis or ment is affecting your daily life? If you have more than a few the treatment instructions. items to discuss, put them in order. Start with the ones most important to you. If, after seeing the doctor, you are given a diagnosis which identifies a physical or disease problem what should you do? 2. Plan to update the doctor. Let your doctor know what has happened to your health since your last visit. If you have been Your doctor makes a diagnosis based on the symptoms you are treated in the emergency room or by a specialist — tell the doc- experiencing and the results of the physical exam, laboratory work tor right away. Mention any changes in your appetite, weight, and other tests. sleep, energy level, vision, or hearing. Also, tell the doctor about recent changes in medications you take or their effects on you. Understanding your diagnosis, or health problem can help you make decisions about what you would like to do about it. Also, if 3. Take information with you. Bring a list of all your prescription you know how the health problem may affect your life and activities drugs, over-the-counter medicines, vitamins and herbal reme- and what may happen if the condition gets worse, you may be bet- dies or supplements, including the dost. Or, put them all in a ter prepared to deal with the problem. bag and bring them with you to your appointment. Also, take your insurance cards, the names and phone numbers of your Here are some of the questions you may want to ask your doctor other doctors and any medical records your doctor doesn’t al- about your health problem. ready have. • What is the name of the conditions? 4. Make sure you can see and hear as well as possible. If you • How do you spell it? use eyeglasses and/or a hearing aid, wear them at the doctor’s • Why do you think I have this health problem? visit. Let the doctor and staff know if you have a hard time see- • What may have caused it? ing or hearing. For example, you may want to say: “my hearing • How long might this problem last? makes it hard to understand everything you’re saying. It helps • Will it be permanent? when you speak slowly.” • How long will this problem affect me? • Will I need to change some of my activities? 5. Consider bringing a family member of a friend. If you bring a • Are there long-term effects of this problem? companion to the appointment, tell him or her in advance what • Can my health problem be cured? you want from your visit and if you’d like some alone time with • How can It be treated or managed, made better? your doctor. Your companion can remind you what you planned • How can I learn more about my condition? Funny Bone Page 7

Texting Codes For Seniors • Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable. • Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!!! ATD At the Doctor’s BFF Best Friends Funeral BTW Bring the Wheelchair Senior Bumper Stickers BYOT Bring your own teeth CBM Covered by Medicare Young at heart CUATSC See you at the Senior Center Slightly older DWI Driving while incontinent in other places. FWIW Forgot where I was GGPBL Gotta go, Pacemaker battery low I don’t think about dying GHA Got heartburn again It’s the last thing I want to do HGBM Had good bowel movement LMDO Laughing my dentures out Live Each Day LOL Living on Lipitor Like It’s Your Last. OMSG Oh My! Sorry — gas One day you’ll get it right. TOT Texting on toilet WAITT Who am I talking to? At my age, the only thing That gets hard is my arteries. Old People Thoughts (Some might be repeats from earlier Newsletters) Of Course I talk to myself Sometimes I need expert advise.. 1. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And I really think that tossing and turning at night cheese. Ok, it was pizza — I ate a pizza. should be considered as exercise. 2. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web. When I die, I want my last words to be, 3. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 “I left a million dollars under the …….” hours and 20 minutes. 4. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was I’ve reach an age where my train of thought below zero out they closed school? Me neither. often leaves the station without me. 5. I love being over 60. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

• I found this timely, because today, I was in a store that sells sunglasses — and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, “What brings you in today?” I looked at her, and said — “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator?” She didn’t quite know how to respond. • I was thinking about old age and decided old age is when you still have something on the ball — but are just too tired to bounce it. • I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it “Pumping Rust.” • When people see a cat’s litter box they always say — Oh, have you got a cat? Just once I want to say — NO — it’s for company! • Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think we should write “An Ambulance.” • You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. Boxford Council on Aging BULK RATE 4 Middleton Rd PRE-SORT U.S. POSTAGE Boxford, MA 01921 PAID Phone: (978) 887-3591 Boxford MA 01921 PERMIT No. 123 Our mission is to improve the quality of life and encourage maximum independence for Current Resident or older adults by meeting their health, economic, social and cultural needs.

COA Board Members Dick Taylor: Chairperson Richard Shaw: Vice-Chairperson Judy Andersen: Secretary Members: Suzanne Cox Steve Harvey Liz Murphy Vacant COA Staff Pam Blaquiere: COA Director Elaine Spiro: Secretary Outreach Worker Jack Hawxwell: Van Driver

The Board usually meets at 9:30 on the second Wednesday of each month (see Page 2 for actual dates). All seniors and interested parties are welcome to attend. Only emergency meetings are held during the summer. This newsletter was made possible by a grant from the Executive Office of Elder Affairs.

The March Birthday lunch will be held on Tuesday, March 21st at 11:30 AM. Please call the COA by Tuesday 14th before 11 AM to sign up for the birthday lunch. The lunch is free to our Boxford seniors who will be celebrating their birthday this month, compliments of The Friends of the Boxford COA. Guests are welcome but will be responsible for paying the nominal cost of their lunch. Happy Birthday to our March Seniors! Past Monthly Newsletters are posted on the Town web. To ac- March Daily Observances Trivia cess these Newsletters — go to www.town.boxford.ma.us. Click Trivia Holiday Observances information is taken from the Funky Holiday website on Departments and select Council On Aging from the dropdown at www.brownielocks.com menu. The current Newsletter is listed on the front page but you can access the older ones by clicking on “Monthly Newsletters.”

March 6th Oreo Cookie Day

March 17th St. Patrick’s Day

Things To Ponder

March 22nd May you always have Love to Share, National Goof-off Day Cash to Spare, And Friends who Care...