8 times2 THE TIMES Friday December 28 2007 THE TIMES Friday December 28 2007 times2 9

Clockwise from top: nutrition Angelina Jolie uses Tim Teeman caviar in her hair; Cheap, lousy berries will leave the skin rejuvenated; spinach boosts antioxidants; and an backtracking Apply it, then eat it avocado mask is a good source of Vitamin E at the BBC

timesonline.co.uk/health

SCOPE BEAUTY bling an orange peel. It may not be Some foods as bonkers as it sounds, according to raditionally, it’s Slade from ration has shown it has a remarkably elastic watch gays living, loving, having sex and the cellulite expert Dr Elizabeth whom it’s impossible to escape way of navigating what constitutes offence not just playing the court jester. Yes, some Desperate reading can benefit Dancy. When applied directly to the at Christmas. That song shad- to homosexuals. Along with the broadcast- gays may use “poof” and “faggot” among skin in gel or cream form (it is found ows us for weeks, recedes, ing authority Ofcom, it has sanctioned the themselves, but that is no justification for Long nights, and deep glasses of red wine, the skin in some anticellulite products), caf- then returns the next year to use of “gay”, by the likes of Chris Moyles everyone else to have a go — and, if it is, can have not meant unbroken hours of TV whether they are feine is rapidly absorbed in the tis- haunt us: a seasonal lyrical and Jeremy Clarkson, to mean “rubbish”. we be as free and easy with “nigger” and viewing. (This is odd. I love TV and will sue just under the skin and stimu- Tbogeyman. This Christmas another song On Top Gear “the lads” feel that they can “Paki” to show that we have a level playing happily graze like a Friesian across channels.) lates “beta receptors” on the surface has superseded it: the Pogues and Kirsty sneer — ever so ironically, of course — at field? Equal opportunities offence-giving. This Christmas, I have also retreated into applied externally of fat cells, encouraging them to MacColl’s Fairytale of New York. “poof” this and “poof” that. A friend watch- I wonder whether some gays rush to books. The Mitford sisters’ letters, edited by release fat into the bloodstream; this or ingested, says in turn may improve the appearance On December 18, Radio 1 announced that ing the sitcom The Green Green Grass the defuse these little brouhahas by saying that Charlotte Mosley, are fascinating (even for of dimply-looking skin. it was dubbing out the word “faggot” from other week said that a gay character had they are not offended because we are enter- the nicknames they gave each other: Hen, AMANDA URSELL Caffeine is also known to raise our MacColl’s line “you scumbag, you maggot, been belittled and eventually punched, and tainers and pacifiers, used to deflecting Bobo, Honks). Alan Bennett’s The Uncommon metabolic rate, and so the calories you cheap lousy faggot” because it was “of- that there was something in this depiction homophobia around us with wit or just turn- Reader made me fall in love with the Queen. fensive”. Almost immediately, everyone, (not nakedly homophobic but just scornful, ing the other cheek. Our instinct is to josh, And the EastEnders Christmas Day leopatra may have bathed we burn when we drink it may help in asses’ milk, but the ac- cellulite from the inside-out. But many gays included, said that the decision dismissive, gays as the mincing targets of parry, swerve, not confront bigotry. We apocalypse was totally eclipsed by Rachel moderation is the key: as Dancy tress Angelina Jolie has was ridiculous, why was it suddenly don’t want to be bashed. We don’t want to Cusk’s Arlington Park, the story of a group of points out in her book The Cellulite gone one better — by re- deemed bad, political correctness gone be out of the gang. Of course we know how silently suffering housewives in an upmarket Solution (Cornet Books, £6.99), Cportedly rubbing caviar into her mad, blah blah. Radio 1 reversed the ban, to “take a joke”. We had enough practice in suburb. I imagine Cusk’s novel doing the drinking too much caffeine narrows It was almost as if skin. The £200-a-time treatment, and the song reached No 4 in the charts. school and on the playing field. We excuse rounds of women’s reading groups, its tightly small blood vessels, which restricts during which extract from the eggs Of the furore, the Pogues singer Shane homophobia because we don’t want to wound story of marital disenchantment and the flow of blood and nutrients to of Baeril sturgeon is smothered all thosepeoplerushing fight, cause trouble, be different. frustration encouraging revolution; a book cellulite and makes it worse. A maxi- MacGowan, who turned 50 on Christmas over the body, is thought to be espe- mum of two to three drinks contain- Day, said/slurred: “That’s just typical of the We want a place at the table and, if we where nothing much, yet everything, cially moisturising (the fishy smell ing caffeine a day will give you the way this country is going down. I mean, it’s out to buy Fairytale have to suffer the occasional sting or happens. As with Michael Cunningham’s The is removed first) because of phos- calorie-burning benefits without practically a police state.” belittling remark, then so be it. But equality Hours, you hold your breath reading it. pholipids — fats that hydrate the causing damage to the blood flow. The present consensus is with MacGow- of New York were isn’t about just what is enshrined in statute. Married women readers, buy this book and skin. This is a new development in a What you drink can also help your an — that there is nothing wrong with using It’s about being treated with — and, most identify long-nursed grievances against your growing trend for foods that we can beauty regimen in more ways than the word “faggot” in this context. Lighten importantly, expecting — respect and con- partners. Husbands, buy this book, be very apply before we eat. actually waiting one, and beer is an unlikely but up, you Milly Tants. My unfashionable sideration. You can’t put that kind of thing afraid and prepare to mend your ways. The merits of caviar have already important contender. According to been lauded by another actress, counter-view is that there is something for — indeed, into law, but organisations such as the BBC scientists at Tufts University in Bos- very wrong in using it, that Radio 1 was arguably have a responsibility to foster and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who puts cav- ton in the US, beer is bursting with iar in her hair. While most of us right in its original decision and should encourage it. Comedy of manors silicic acid, a relative of silicon that have shown more balls and stuck by it. “Fag- actively investing in In the end, I couldn’t escape Fairytale of make do with Pantene, apparently is hugely important for making and New York. E4 played it with the offending Zeta-Jones, like various other well maintaining the spongy cells in our got” is a term of anti-gay abuse; in this song —that‘faggot’line Much nervousness preceded the return heeled Knightsbridge ladies, visits skin, helping it to feel and look it is most definitely an insult. word intact. George Michael took it on the Hari’s, on the Brompton Road, for The subtext of the Pogues controversy is chin when playing MacGowan’s part in a of To The Manor Born. The BBC wouldn’t its exclusive Caviar treatment. This that it’s not so bad because it’s not sung by a jokes) that had made my far-from-PC Catherine Tate Christmas Special on BBC send out tapes prior to broadcast to this £100 treatment involves having Iran- Enjoy the avocado’s bad-boy rapper but by that nice lady who friend put his disgust in writing to the One. The fact that the song reached No 4 is reviewer — was it going to be a stinker? ian beluga fish eggs rubbed into died in that boat accident. And, oooh, that depressing: it was almost as if those people The first few minutes were not your scalp and hair, to allow their es- creamy flesh, then BBC. Shane MacGowan is just a dissolute fart so, To say that you’re offended these days is rushing out to buy it were not merely promising. There were clunky “relevant” sential fats to nourish the hair folli- rather like the sozzled uncle in the corner assailed by a sudden nostalgia but actually jokes about multinationals cheating cles. “It is the most nourishing, and use the inside of the to risk being accused of being humourless; of the room on Christmas Day, just let him waiting for — indeed, actively investing in farmers and some racist rubbish about most popular treatment, costs £100 of not getting the joke. It’s the same risk get on and ramble to himself. Indulge him, — that “faggot” line with some relish. Polish labourers. Then the old magic and lasts for four weeks,” says Hari, peel as a moisturiser you run as a woman who is offended by the funny old thing. Hang on, you’ll say, she’s Homophobia sells. suddenly returned. De Vere was the who discovered the treatment. endless parade of breasts in magazines such Anyone rich enough to put caviar While waiting for the mask to dermatology department at the plump and youthful. Extra intakes not actually calling him a “faggot”, ie, gay. Only on TMF, a cable/satellite music same cad; Audrey, ramrod straight and work its magic on the outside, you University of Naples, boosts the of this trace mineral may also bene- She’s just chucking an insult. But the insult as Nuts. The new casual homophobia is channel, did a little bit of gay respect shine: doorbell-ringingly domineering, was on her hair can probably afford to eat couched as a perfectly acceptable, knowing it, too, and doing so would give more can feast on a bowl of leftover ber- skin’s antioxidant capacity and pro- fit our nails and hair according to is an anti-gay one: “faggot” is intended to they didn’t trumpet it, and maybe it was a treating Marjorie as her slave and getting potential beauty-boosting benefits, ries, which get to work on the tect against premature ageing. the doyen of silicon research, the diminish him as a man, her errant lover. joke, and coincides with a general feeling one-off, but there I saw the Fairytale video arrested for taking an E (in fact, a since its Omega-3 oils help to keep inside, not least because they supply Though no tests have been done on former Harvard University Profes- Weird, but I can’t imagine the BBC giving that gays have had quite enough equality: played with “faggot” dubbed out. The song paracetamol) after going to a nightclub. cells in the skin well hydrated and dark purple and red pigments that applying spinach to the skin, supple- sor Eugene G. Rochow. He found the same latitude to the word “nigger”, equal age of consent; civil partnership didn’t suffer as a result: simply, some con- It was quite daft and, in its resolute appear to strengthen blood-vessel ment and cream forms are available. smooth. that when fed to short-haired guin- ceremonies (but not marriage). That we are sideration was extended to a minority playing to Middle England, seemed in walls and may work their magic by In tests carried out on 120 women expressed in the same way, or “Paki”. It Fortunately, not all foods that ea pigs, preparations containing sili- getting a little too big for our boots. sitcom terms utterly arcane. I loved reducing the appearance of tiny between the ages of 25 and 50, scien- con turned them into hirsute little seems that offending gays matters less, and group who have been abused, without beautify both by digestion and exter- almost every minute. Can it come back thread veins just under our skin. tists gave one group of women sup- rodents with hair 13cm long, while homophobia is more acceptable than There are lots of gays on TV in their shiny thought, for too long. Perhaps, in the com- nal application come with such a racism. Indeed, The Pogues controversy suits. But almost nowhere on TV or in popu- ing year, the BBC might show some steel for good? high price tag. If you prefer your Avocados are another “apply it, eat plements containing 10mg of lutein, creams rich in silicon brought about comes at the end of a year when the corpo- lar culture can mainstream audiences and extend gays the same courtesy. [email protected] beauty treatments natural and cheap, it” beauty food. They are known as another group was given the same dramatic regrowth of hair in young opt instead for berries. Kirsty “green gold” by the Aztec and Maya supplements as well as a cream rich people who had lost theirs through McLeod is a leading facialist who tribes in Central America, and their in lutein to apply to their skin, while chronic illness. spent years in New York working rich, nutritious oils and vitamin E a third group was given placebo sup- Perhaps this is why we often hear with cosmetic dermatologists at com- help the production of healthy new plements and cream. that rinsing our hair in beer makes it panies such as Aveda. On returning skin and nails, and tackle damage Those who increased their die- feel lustrous. If a half of bitter is not to the UK, she set up her London sa- from the Sun’s ultraviolet rays. tary lutein showed a big improve- your favourite beverage and you Kenyan breaks 14 nights from £454 per person lon, where she offers a berry oat Having enjoyed the creamy flesh of ment in skin hydration, and those us- don’t fancy walking around with a The Times offers readers the chance to make huge savings off the brochure mask. Natural fruit acids in the ber- this tasty fruit, you can use the inside ing the cream as well improved hy- whiff of the brewery about your Departures 2008 Nights Palm Beach Flamingo ries will, she says, help to exfoliate of the peel as a gentle moisturiser. dration even further. You can al- crowning glory, then it is good to prices of 14-night holidays in Kenya, with a choice of two fabulous hotels. Its oils work as humectants and thus ready buy lutein supplements in the know that drinking an old-fashioned Jan 7 14 £512 N/A your skin and directly provide anti- The Palm Beach Hotel is situated within tropical grounds in a peaceful location. Jan 14, 28 14 £524 £558 oxidants such as vitamin C to help to hold in moisture. Using upward UK, but you could also get 10mg by cup of tea is also good for this trace Rooms are air-conditioned and most have views over the gardens and around the Jan 21 14 £544 £579 reduce sun damage. You can make it strokes, lightly massage your face eating 100g of spinach, 50g of kale, a mineral, as is Fiji mineral water. No swimming pools. The Flamingo Beach Hotel has two restaurants and two pools. at home by blending a cup of mixed with the inside of the peel and leave large red pepper or 200g of romaine research has been done into the ben- Feb 4 14 £524 £558 berries (blueberries, raspberries and it on for 15 minutes before washing. lettuce. Creams with lutein are cur- efits of rinsing our hair in tea, but if The air-conditioned rooms surround the huge lagoon-shaped pool. African Safari Feb 11, 18 14 £673 £715 Your skin will be left soft and mois- strawberries) with a cup of rolled rently in development. silicic-rich liquid works internally, Club offers a superb range of safaris, from one night ‘tasters’ to a fabulous seven April 7, 14 14 £494 £528 turised. On a slightly more unusual note, oats, a tablespoon of runny honey there’s nothing to prevent it having May 5, 12 14 £454 £485 Spinach is another beauty food. night expedition. Safari prices start from only £88pp. and six whole almonds until it forms you could try taking a leaf out of the the same effect externally. No doubt Although hidden by the more domi- supermodel Cindy Crawford’s book a thick paste. Apply it to freshly Hollywood A-listers will be shower- To book, call 0845 365 5104 quoting RT108 Mon to Fri 9am – 5.30pm, Sat 9am – 6pm or visit africansafariclub.com/thetimes nant green pigment chlorophyll, it is to tackle cellulite. Apparently Craw- washed skin, leave for 15 minutes, ing in Earl Grey soon. You heard it bursting with a yellow pigment, ford rubs freshly ground coffee on here first. Or write to: Northside House, 69 Tweedy Road, Bromley, Kent, BR1 3WA then wash off for rejuvenated, fresh- Prices are per person, based on two sharing a twin room, and include full-board, return flights from London Gatwick, transfers, taxes and a fuel surcharge. Visas and safari-park entrance fees are not included. Prices supersedes previous offers, are subject to availability, lutein, which, according to the her thighs to keep them from resem- can be withdrawn at any time and apply to new bookings only. Full terms and conditions apply. This holiday is operated by African Safari Club, a company independent of Times Newspapers Ltd. ATOL 2313, ABTA V4000. JS712 looking skin. www.amandaursell.com