UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY

VOLUME 48 | ISSUE NO. 35 | APRIL 3 | 2008

THE JUNOS COME TO CALGARY MUSICIANS PLAY ON THE C-TRAIN JUNOFEST HAS 120 BANDS PLAYING THE AIRPORT HAS LIVE MUSIC SEE THE JUNO

HOWPRE TO GETVIEW THE MOST OUT OF THE JUNOS THIS WEEKEND ENTERTAINMENT STARTING ON PAGE 20

THE UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY GAUNTLET | VOLUME 48 | ISSUE NO. 35 | APRIL 03 | 2008 contents

Newsity-news news news page 5

How would you spend $1.4 million? News writer Dan Pagan looked into diff erent ways students have answered that question. In more depressing news, news editor elect Sarelle Azuelos interviewed experts who have not forgotten about our modern genocide in Darfur. Other news too!

No abortion at all! opinions page 10

Th at’s right! We don’t have a single goddamn article about people trying to impose their rigid and ill-conceived world view on other people via fallacious reasoning and needlessly-graphic imagery in this section! It’s business as usual in Opinions: get your weekly dose of pontifi cation and self-affi rmation starting page 10!

I’m gettin’ all teary-eyed sports page 13

Th is week in sports, we talk about all the happy things that happened at the Night of the Dino and reminisce about the year and all the accomplishments of our teams. Also, there’s lots of fi ghting with bare hands and pointy things. Oh yeah!

Around the world in a lot of photos photo page 18

It’s just like that Daft Punk song. You know, the one that goes “around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world?” Yeah, Daft Punk’s kinda repetitive...

Do you have Juno fever? entertainment page 20 photo to the editor If yes, there’s an ointment for that. Also, we preview the awards. If not, we’re still chock-full of theatre, fi lm and cd reviews to keep you from reading another publi- “Pure Hawksley” by Sarah Chidley (Canon S3IS) cation. If you still feel the urge, though, everyone’s covering the Junos. Everyone.

awksley Workman played the Jack Singer on Mar. 25 with an amazing two and a half hour show with no Wapta like an Egyptian H features page 28 openers or breaks—just pure, Hawksley goodness. Anyone can submit an original photo to the editor. Drop off your high-resolution photo Th ough the Wapta Traverse has nothing to do with Egyptians—mostly because along with your name, contact information and a brief description including type of they reside on diff erent continents—it’s a lot like the song “Walk like an Egyptian,” camera (not exceeding 30 words) to room 319 MacEwan Student Centre or email or something. Read Chris Pedersen’s photo journey along the Wapta Traverse. [email protected] editorial and letters

April 3 2008

Editor-in-Chief: Chris Tait 220-7752 [email protected] On informed dissent News Editor: Katy Anderson 220-4318 [email protected]

Entertainment: Ryan Pike 220-4376 [email protected]

Sports: Amanda Hu 220-4376 [email protected]

Opinions: Ændrew Rininsland 220-4376 [email protected]

Features: Jon Roe 220-4376 [email protected]

Photography: Geoff MacIntosh 220-4376 [email protected]

Production: Christian Louden 220-4376 [email protected]

Illustrations: Paul Baker 220-4376 [email protected]

News Assistant: Sarelle Azuelos 220-4318 [email protected]

Escapes And Pursuits: Jordyn Marcellus 220-4376 [email protected]

Academic Probation: Ben Hoffman, Garth Paulson, and Kyle Francis 220-4376 [email protected]

Three Lines Free: Cam Cotton-O’Brien 220-4376 [email protected]

Business Manager: Evelyn Cone 220-7380 [email protected]

Advertising Manager: John Harbidge 220-7751 [email protected]

Graphic Artist: Ken Clarke 220-7755 [email protected]

Network Manager: Ben Li

Contributors Chris Beauchamp • Sarah Chidley • Gina Freeman Jordan Fritz • Joshua Goard-Baker • Brad Halasz Hoang-Mai Hong • Martin Lussier • Ryan May John McDonald • Daniel Pagan • Austin Paladean Chris Pedersen • Leya Russell • Andi Smith Raksha Vasudevan

Golden Spatula flash of movement, a attempted to persuade the student Chris Pedersen, for writing a phenomenal feature plus refl ected gleam. body that the benefi ts outweigh the pretty photos. Out of the corner of an inconveniences. Editor, the Gauntlet Furor Arma Ministrat A Room 319, MacEwan Students’ Centre eye—youthful and unwrinkled, With the rejection announcement University of Calgary though its lid was stretched and of the SU’s proposal to re-examine 2500 University Drive, NW A tribute to a fallen tribune Calgary, AB T2N 1N4 beaming in a cheerful smile—the the issue with more student consul- General inquires: 220-7750 almost imperceptible bright spot tation, the administration has very Editor, the Gauntlet, whom now come from the honour http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca shot down the nearby marble successfully accumulated a heft y First off , let me just say congratu- roll variety from high school, need The Gauntlet is the offi cial student newspaper of the University of Calgary, published most Thursdays throughout the year by the wall. amount of disdain from students. lations to Dr. Dube for getting out school to achieve a career and life Gauntlet Publications Society, an autonomous, incorporated body. Membership in the society is open to undergraduate students at the U Th e victim began to turn, but it Though the issue seems to be of the U of C. It is defi nitely a sad that they wish; the administration of C, but all members of the university community are encouraged to contribute. Opinions contained herein are those of individual writers, was too late. incredibly muddled in the minds day for any student who was lucky knows this and knows that we are and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire Gauntlet staff. Editorials are chosen by a majority of the editorial board. At first, only on the semi-soft of U of C students—where they enough to have him as a teacher. powerless to do much. Back when I The Gauntlet is a forum open to all U of C students but may refuse any submission judged to be racist, sexist, homophobic, libelous, surface just below and inside from have focused on the shortsighted Dr. Dube is a refl ection of what is fi rst started to work in Alberta, times or containing attacks of a strictly personal nature. We reserve the right to edit for brevity. Grievances regarding the Gauntlet follow the shoulder blade, did the nerves goal of reversing administration’s wrong with the U of C. Our school were bad. If you complained about a three-step process which requires written decisions from the Editor, the GPS Board of Directors, and the Ombudsboard. The register anything out of the ordinary. credit card decision instead of try- is not what it once was. In the fi ve your job, the boss would take you in complete Grievance Policy is online at: http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca. The Gauntlet is printed on recycled paper and uses tight Th e following beat stretched on and ing to see the big picture—at least years that I have attended the U of to his offi ce and show you the  package-based ink. We urge you to recycle/fondle the Gauntlet. punctuation became a silent phrase they’ve woken up and fi nally become C, I have, with some exceptions, resumes on his desk and ask you, Letter Policy elongated. Period. dissatisfi ed enough with the state witness the overall degradation of “are you going to keep complain- Letters must be typed, double-spaced and received by Monday at 4 p.m., and must include the author’s name, student ID number, Pierced was the very core of his of their education to shed the thick the institution. “Increasingly worse ing?” Th is is how students feel now; telephone number and signature. Letters will not be printed if they include attacks of a strictly personal nature, statements that being. Cold, sharp and merciless, the coat of apathy and spring back with teachers” is a statement that many we need the job. Moreover, school is discriminate on the basis of race, sex, or sexual orientation, or libellous or defamatory material. All letters should be addressed steel tooth bit again and again, each involved criticism of their academic students must agree with. Our so expensive that increasingly, large to “Editor, the Gauntlet,” and be no longer than 300 words. The Gauntlet retains the right to edit submissions. Letters can be time its removal leaving only brief environment. school is consistently ranked low amounts of students have to work delivered or mailed to the Gauntlet offi ce, Room 319 MacEwan Student Centre, or sent by e-mail to [email protected]. emptiness, then the fl ood. Th e SU should be congratulated in Maclean’s’ and all other sur- more to pay for it, leaving little time From his fingertips, he could for finally taking a stance and veys—ironically, one of our high- to do extracurricular activities. I am The Cover photograph by Daniel J. Pagan, feel the sticky wet pooling beneath organizing what hopefully will be est ratings has been service, which not claiming that students have the design by Geoff MacIntosh him. Th ough there was naught but a very visible, very vocal rally at we will most likely lose aft er this roughest life, however, university the sound of bubbly breath, alarm the Board of Governors meeting tyrannical credit card decision—and is supposed to be a time when we screamed from the man’s eyes, pro- Friday, Apr.  because of this, prominent profs do can explore and can rebel—a liberal jecting louder and clearer than any not want to teach at our school. A education is supposed to instill in herald or sophist ever could. Chris Tait certain East Asian Studies prof is still us what it feels like to be free as an Et tu, Caesar? Editor-in-Chief forced to teach about Japan: Japan individual. Instead, U of C prepares is not his specialty, his specialty is us to be another brick. Despite a well-documented and China. Why? Th e school cannot fi nd Th e profs have no guts anymore. working relationship between a prof specializing in Japan who How many profs have spoken out its administration and Students’ wishes to teach at the U of C. see Letter, pg.  Union, the University of Calgary Students have lost any sense of received a swath of vocal reaction community. No longer do students Correction: to the removal of credit cards as a rally or unite to show their disgust Th e piece in last week’s Gauntlet method of paying tuition. with policy of the administration. Fiction Supplement entitled Amid the chaotic protests of stu- Th e camp-outs have become smaller “Sisyphus’ rocks” was incorrectly dents following the decision, with the every year; the SU did not even make attributed to Tim Ford. Th e actual SU still reeling from the suddenness a peep over raised tuition. Th is is a author was Greg Ramos. The of the new policy, administration result of blackmail: students, most of Gauntlet apologizes for this error. GAUNTLET APRIL 03.08 5 news Editor: Katy Anderson—[email protected] If I had $1.4 million... The U of C and the Students’ Union look for proposals to spend Quality Money Daniel Pagan ect—receiving ,—would assist students Gauntlet News Quality Money Initiative projects 2008 in providing an on-campus bike co-operative Building Undergraduate Peer Mentoring into Courses Across which would allow students to borrow bikes he University of Calgary and the University: $112,800 and acquire repairing skills. Students’ Union are coming to paint Co-Curricular Transcript Program: $239,014 “Th e bike initiative would also help sup- the town red with millions of dollars Summer Experience Program: $495,155 port the sustainability eff orts the SU is under- T MacEwan Student Centre Computer Kiosks: $10,000 thanks to the Quality Money Initiative. Th e Students’ Union Clubs Awards: $30,000 taking on campus, as showcased during collaboration between the Students’ Union Campus Bike Initiative: $35,503 Enviropalooza,” said Bogle. and university administration will see nine Student Space Expansion: $250,000 Tierney stressed the importance of the co- new projects, such as a campus bike initiative, Inter-Institutional Residence Feasibility Study: $50,000 curricular transcripts funded with ,. It SU Wellness Centre: $350,000 a co-curricular transcript and an SU Wellness is based on a model used at Sir Wilfred Laurier Centre being funded by . million. University and would encourage more students Th e campus saw a new media campaign to engage in extra-curricular activities. by the SU and the U of C Communication “It improves the student’s experience by pro- Department displaying the success of the QMI viding recognition of importance of involve- with large television screens set outside the SU ment, which is important when students apply offi ce in eff orts to raise awareness. for jobs,” said Tierney. SU president Julie Bogle explained SU Th e SU and university hope to encourage presidents from other universities often more student involvement through SU Club question her about the quality money project awards. and she felt the video was able to better “Th e Students’ Union will off er  annual promote it. Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet scholarships of , for a three-year period, “We felt that it was necessary to show the Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet based on the criteria which focus on students greater community what can happen when SU president Julie Bogle takes advantage of one of the many QMI projects. who have made signifi cant contributions to students have the ability to put money behind SU-sanctioned clubs,” said Bogle. the projects they feel essential to improve the ated with this initiative,” said Tierney. appeal, tangible benefi ts, responsiveness to Both Bogle and Tierney are excited about student experience,” said Bogle. “We’re now Tierney explained the . million comes students’ needs, suitability and the results building undergraduate peer mentoring into in our fourth year of operations and are able from the university budget, comprised of funds of plebiscites. courses across the university. to truly see the impact these initiatives have from government grants, tuition revenue, and “A number of proposals were unsuccessful “Mentorship funding would assists students had on the student experience.” donations. this year because we felt that they fell into as they go through university and provides Vice-provost students Ann Tierney “We build the quality money right into the university administration’s role instead,” additional support to those needing extra agreed. budget,” said Tierney. said Bogle. advising,” noted Tierney. “The Administration thinks both [the] Bogle explained that the Quality Money Th e nine projects being funded by the QMI Other projects, such as an SU Wellness Students’ Union and Graduate Students’ Committee and the SU used a set of formulas include a campus bike initiative, Undergraduate Centre, MSC South Courtyard Renovation, Association have made very valuable in making recommendations to determine Peer Mentorship, the Co-curricular Transcript MSC computer kiosks, Inter-Institutional investments in the student experience whether a proposal gets funded or not. Th e Program and SU clubs awards. Residence feasibility study and summer work on campus and we are very proud to be associ- decision is based on the proposal’s universal Bogle said the Campus Bike Initiative proj- experience would receive funding as well. Race coming to Calgary SU plans rally

Christian Louden about how the driver must sit in the Katy Anderson Production Editor car means they will now have to sit News Editor upright rather than lay down. Solar-powered cars from all over While some were nervous, fi rst- The Students’ Union is plan- the continent will again cruise across year mechanical team member Yanyi ning a protest at the University of the fi nish line at the University of Tan remained steadfast and explained Calgary Board of Governors meeting Calgary for the  North American she does not feel there is a lot of pres- to express their disapproval of the Solar Challenge this summer. With sure for the team because she gets to university’s handling of the recent the race fi nishing in Calgary comes work alongside several experienced decision to not accept credit cards both a sense of having the home solar car team members. to pay tuition. team advantage and pressure to “I get to work with second, third, “From the amount of student feed- perform well. fourth-years and even people who back we’ve received, we’re confi dent Mechanical manager Leo Marrero have graduated and come back to this is a major student concern,” said explained there is some pressure for help us out,” said Tan, who hopes SU president Julie Bogle. the team to perform well this year to play a large role on the team in She had a meeting with univer- with the fi nish line on home turf. this year’s race. sity administration Tue. Apr. , but “We defi nitely feel some pressure,” As a whole, the team was excited administration declined to give the said Marrero. “We’re the home by a project that allows them to put John McDonald/the Gauntlet issue any more thought. [team], so we’ve got to try and do classroom theory into practice. It Car co-chair operations manager Darshni Pillay with Schulich I. “We’ve exhausted all diplomatic the best we can.” gives them a unique opportu- resources and avenues,” said Bogle. However, pressure to perform well nity to develop what could one team members with a realistic idea and purchasing parts for the car. “Th is is the straw that broke the is the least of the team’s worries. A lot day be the future of personal as to what sort of projects dif- “We are building a car that doesn’t camel’s back.” has changed since the race was last in transportation. Marrero explained ferent members of the team will use a drop of fuel and can race from Th e meeting will be : a.m. Fri., Calgary in . Stricter regulations working on the solar car provides likely be in —working on deadlines see Solar, page  Apr. . in the Scurfi eld Hall .

If you had $1.4 million for improvements to campus, what would you do? campus quips “Not scholarhips, “Three words: “Ponies would be “Smaller class that’s for sure.” pimpin’ BSD party.” great, but I’d settle sizes for fi rst year – Shahid Jiwani, – Cliff Kitchen, for a merry-go- programs and more fourth-year eco- “enth”-year math round.” interactive classes.” nomics – Leigh Blair, – Christen second-year eco- Robertson, nomics fi fth-year fi nance

Interviews: Ændrew Rininsland Photographs: Daniel Pagan 6 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET NEWS Discussing Darfur Speakers gathered at the Glenbow for dialogue about the thousands killed in Sudan Sarelle Azuelos about Darfur to know that this is News Assistant an appalling situation, that this is a genocide and that this needs to be hen the massive stopped,” said Off . “We are part of genocide termed the a market for these images.” W Holocaust occured, Many of the speakers stressed that it was followed by the promise of the lack of action may be caused by “never again.” Th at promise was the western public’s ability to view never kept. the victims as less than human. Th e Glenbow Museum held an University of Calgary associate pro- open forum accompanying the fessor Dr. Wisdom Tettey pointed Darfur/Darfur exhibit to discuss the to the vague defi nition of genocide current genocide and international as the reason for needless complica- action—or lack thereof—Tue., tions in the call for interference. Mar. . Th e four main speakers “The question is, why is there chose to focus on issues surround- reluctance to name these things ing genocide including media, for what they are?” asked Tettey. economies, general apathy and the “[During] the Darfur crisis, we struggle to defi ne genocide. talked about is it genocide, or is CBC’s Th e National reporter Carol it not. At the time we were having Off started with the discussion of these debates, people were dying. the public’s consumption of war- We are more concerned about time images. our willingness, or lack thereof, to “What was more interesting than intervene, than the reality of what Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet the images from the exhibit of Darfur is going on.” Dr. Wisdom Tettey stressed that genocide needs a solid defi nition to avoid inaction. were the images of the people on the Off outlined a new policy proposal street looking at [them],” said Off . in the UN which she named The Courtemanche brought economics countries are guilty of standing by “I fear [the events in Darfur are] “We can regard these images and we Responsibility to Protect, which she and the strive for monetary power while operating in other nations teaching us the futility of caring,” see people suff er, die. We see rape hoped might solve this problem. into play during his speech. suff ering from genocide. said Keeping. “I fear that it is this victims, we see children starving and “The Responsibility to Protect “Countries are not equal, not only “Part of the many conflicts combination of seeing and knowing, we just consume these.” states that if a country is unwilling or in size but in economic and political that are destroying the region [in together with the not stopping, that Off explained that news media unable to protect its citizens—as the power,” he said. “Th e international Darfur]—called tribal wars by is disempowering us.” outlets fi nd their source of income government of Sudan is —then it is code of conduct, which in theory western media—have to do with Tettey warned the audience from selling products that contain the responsibility of other countries applies to everyone, never applies the search for pasture,” he said. about the consequences of the lack these images. Th e majority of outlets like ours to step in and to protect equally. Human rights must be “Th ese wars are essentially fueled of Western accountability. refrain from printing the most vio- them, even if it requires violence in respected by the poor and the feeble, by the need for land that can pro- “If the international community lent of the images for fear of losing order for us to do that,” said Off . not by the rich and the powerful.” duce food.” fails to act decisively, the brave lan- or off ending readership. She argued She admitted that this type of He pointed out that laws in Sheldon Chumir Foundation guage of the genocide convention that the images are tragic enough policy may be impossible, but would Canada and the United States for Ethics in Leadership president and the UN charter—not to mention to warrant a response and yet fail could increase international involve- charge people who do not help Janet Keeping was worried about the the avowed principals of our vari- to do so. ment in situations of genocide. someone in need with a criminal implications that our lack of action ous governments—will once more “What more do you need to know Le Devoir columnist Gil off ense, yet businesses within both has regarding our moral capacity. ring false in our world,” he said. GAUNTLET NEWS APRIL 03.08 7 GGrouproup aaskedsked ttoo vvacateacate ccampusampus Katy Anderson on campus. Th e Women’s Centre News Editor has also reported a signifi cant spike in the number of visitors every time he notorious anti-choice the display goes up. display put on by Campus Campus Security was on call but T Pro-Life every semester was did not remove the group. asked to leave by the University of “Th ey told us to turn our signs Calgary. in because of complaints they Despite being served with a had received because of the notice to vacate, the CPL Genocide graphic images,” said CPL trea- Awareness Campaign was displayed surer Leah Hallman. “Th at was an on the lawn between Science A, attempt to censor us because we Science B and MacEwan Hall have not been required to do this Mon., Mar  and Tue., Apr. . in the past.” Th e signs depict images compar- Hallman asserted that the univer- ing abortion to the Holocaust and sity was denying them their freedom lynching of African Americans. Th e of expression under the Canadian display has drawn vocal criticism Charter of Rights. from viewers—including a protest Th e group has been banned from group camped in front of the dis- any pro-life activity including the dis- play—the last fi ve times it has been play, events and handout materials. Paul Baker/the Gauntlet U of C 101 set to change for next year Daniel Pagan insuffi cient in educating students about campus defended the U of C  program, pointing out tions about last year’s orientation week. Gauntlet News life, given that the campus community sessions that it was very successful last year. Th e new “Information about TriMedia was included were in lecture format. format changes helped minimize confusion in the core session on campus involvement as Th e University of Calgary Students’ Union, “Campus life should be one of the most and were useful in delivering the information well as the SU presentation and we had felt that TriMedia and other campus groups may have a important and exciting topics for new students, to students in a timely manner. through these two exposures, we were support- bigger role in next year’s U of C . Th e Offi ce but given the time constraints, presenters were “While we did make many changes, we ing TriMedia,” said Cummings. of Student Experience is considering the SU’s forced to read off lists of campus activities and continued to emphasize a small group, faculty- NUTV executive director Michelle Wong proposals for changes to frosh week, such as facilities with little or no explanation of the based, and an interactive experience for our new strongly disagreed. the resurrection of the inter-faculty games, a points themselves,” he said. students,” she said. “Feedback from students “Last year, U of C  gave us no exposure clubs fair and an SU-guided tour of MacEwan Freeman pointed out that overwhelming and our campus partners was positive.” to new students, nothing,” she said. “Last year’s Students’ Centre. students with lists in lectures was not help- Cummings asserted that the criticisms of changes really hurt awareness and recruitment Th e SU vice-president events Richard Freeman ful, making students anything but excited. U of C  not doing enough for the SU and for NUTV. I would estimate that we experien- noted that last year’s U of C  orientation was OSE associate director Heather Cummings TriMedia were based on lingering mispercep- ced a  per cent drop in new volunteers.” 8 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET NEWS Breakthrough made with Norwalk virus Sarelle Azuelos special about that facility is that they year. It’s so infectious, once it gets News Assistant produce a lot of diff erent kinds of light in, all the old people will get it.” or electromagnetic radiation. For our While Norwalk isn’t considered to University of Calgary technique, we need a very intense be fatal, deaths can occur if patients professor will soon find source of X-rays to determine the have other health conditions or A a cure for a common but structures because they’re very small. become severely dehydrated. serious stomach virus thanks to his We have a machine in the lab here Attention to food handling and hand breakthrough medical research. that will produce [radiographs] that washing are currently the most eff ec- Researcher Dr. Kenneth Ng has we can do some analysis with, but the tive preventative measures. recently discovered the structure of X-rays at the facility are something Ng and the teams received fund- an essential enzyme in the common like , times the intensity of what ing from the Alberta Heritage Norwalk virus. we can get in the lab.” Foundation for Medical Research. “We focus on the proteins that A permanent team at CLS worked AHFMR publications manager Janet are important for reproduction with the U of C researchers to fi nd the Harvey explained the organiza- of the virus,” said Ng. “[Th ey are] structure of the virus. Th e researchers tion has been funding research- responsible for copying the genetic also had help from the University of ers across the province for over material of the [disease]. When the Kansas and the University of Oveido  years. Although Harvey was unable virus infects a cell, it needs to make in Spain. The Norwalk virus is to disclose the amount of funding copies of its genetic material so that Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet highly contagious with short-lived given to the Norwalk researchers, they get released and can infect other Dr. Kenneth Ng hopes to fi nd a cure for Norwalk. yet severe side-effects. Symptoms the years total amount of funding cells.” include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea reached roughly  million. Now that Ng and his team under- combat viruses such as AIDS with received over  million in fund- and cramping. “The standards are very high stands the structure of the protein, positive results. ing from provincial and federal “It’s actually a serious concern here, so the people that the foun- they are hoping to work with chem- Research has been done at the governments. because it’s so easily transmit- dation funds are the best,” stated ists to develop a compound which University of Saskatoon Canadian “It’s actually the biggest single ted,” said Ng. “Something like Harvey. “We only fund excellence. would inhibit it. Ng explained Light Source facility. The facil- investment of money into a science one in fi ve or one in  nursing homes We have several expert committees a similar approach was taken to ity opened  years ago and has facility [in Canada],” said Ng. “What’s will get a Norwalk outbreak every and they’re the ones that review Solar, cont’d from page 5 Texas to Calgary,” said aerodynamicist Ravi is expected to perform well this year aft er a suc- having to rebuild the portion of the car. enabled the team to build the car, the experience Mani, a team veteran who took part in the race cessful tour Down Under, despite trouble. “We learned a lot from the World Solar gained from the accident was valuable, teaching in the Panasonic World Solar Challenge held During a test run prior to the race Challenge,” said Mani. “We had to rebuild the team how to operate under pressure. in Australia last fall. in Australia, Schulich- got its tail sec- the whole tail section [to] pass scrutineering, “The accident was the day before the Schulich-, which can reach speeds of tion caught in a guardrail, causing severe remount our chassis, align our wheels and get big competition, and we basically had to  kilometres per hour while consuming about damage to the car. Mani explained the team the green light from the race organizers.” pull an all-nighter to get the car safe to race,” the same amount of energy as a hair blow-dryer, learned a lot about working together aft er He stressed that, while classroom learning said Marrero, about their twelft h-place fi nish. GAUNTLET NEWS APRIL 03.08 9 The Albertan cost of the U.S. downturn Raksha Vasudevan “Consumer confi dence is waning, of the elephant and if the elephant Gauntlet News a harbinger of a more cautious retail decides to sleep, Albertans’ wealth will sales trend, particularly if employ- certainly be impacted,” he said. he crumbling of America’s ment growth and/or home price More evidence comes in the economic health has made appreciation fi nally begins to slow form of the most recent statistics T major headlines north of the as we expect,” she said in a memo for Alberta’s  billion forestry th—which is not surprising given to clients last week. industry, the province’s third-largest that the United States is Canada’s Evidence suggests this is taking economic sector. Forestry exports largest trading ally. place in Alberta, as housing starts fell more than  million in The effects of what the Bank of are expected to edge down in ,  from the previous year’s, Montreal’s chief economist Dr. Sherry largely attributed to lower migration due to a high loonie and the down- Cooper dubbed “the most pervasive and declining housing aff ordability. turn in the U.S. housing market. fi nancial crisis in a generation” has Complicating matters further is the “Alberta’s forest industry is in already made economic waves in U.S. Federal Reserve’s recent interest crisis,” said Alberta Forest Products Canada. Ontario’s manufactur- rate cut—with the Bank of Canada Association executive director Brady ing industry cut , jobs last expected to follow suit in Apr. Whittaker in a news release last week. year, due largely to the devalued “An interest rate cut will help junior “Th e situation is critical, not just for American dollar and a reduction oil and gas companies in Alberta as the economics of the forest products in demand from U.S. customers, their cost of finance debt will be industry, or the , people that which some say begs the question lowered,” said Angevine. have lost their jobs in the past year, Leya Russell/the Gauntlet of how Alberta—simultaneously However, he expects to see a decline but also for the long-term sustain- Experts fear southern economic trouble will hit Albertans hard. the wealthiest and most expensive in housing prices over the next year ability and health of our province’s province—will be impacted by the as supply outpaces demand, in spite forests.” “Overall, there may be a drag too much,” said Angevine. “We’re American fi nancial system. of any interest rate cuts. Angevine explained the Alberta in the [Canadian] economy, but a fairly wealthy province, and we’ll “With all the investment that’s “We’ve been fl ying on the back public had little to worry about. Albertans probably won’t notice it probably stay that way for a while.” lined up for the oilsands and [related] infrastructure, the Alberta boom will continue,” said Fraser Institute senior economist Dr. Gerry Angevine. CIBC World Market’s senior economist Benjamin Tal agreed in a CanWest interview last week, stating Western Canada will be the least aff ected because prices for its oil and gas commodities are set in global markets, which are increasingly less infl uenced by the U.S. With job growth still strong and retail spending for Jan. showing a . per cent jump over last year, the Canadian economy does not seem to be in decline. Some economists, however, warn Alberta will be more aff ected by the U.S.’s troubles than many of their peers think. “As an open trading economy, Canada is not immune to the growing uncertainty in the United States and on global markets,” said Federal Finance Department’s spokesman David Gamble. Scotiabank senior economist Adrienne Warren agreed. 10 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET Editor: Ændrew Rininsland—[email protected] opinions LLegalizeegalize byby .. Why the War on Drugs must and will be ended within the next half decade choice, a development that’s only But so what? Potheads have been taken place recently. In , deputy wanting to legalize cannabis for ages, director for state and local aff airs and neither Kerry nor Gore hinted Scott Burns was quoted in a letter at even decriminalization when they Ændrew Rininsland to state prosecutors as saying that ran. Add to the fact the sheep-like Damn Dirty Hippie “no drug matches the threat posed mainstream voter is deathly afraid by marijuana.” A fantastic Rolling at the devil merry-ju-wanna and it ere’s a crazy idea that may Stone article (“How America Lost looks like the second verse will be sound a bit absurd, but fol- the War on Drugs,” Ben Wallace- the same as the fi rst. Hlow me through on this: Wells) quotes drug czar John Obama, however, is signifi cantly Cannabis will be legalized in the Walters as equating diff erent from United States of America by . cannabis growers both Kerry “Totally absurd,” you say, as you to “terrorists who and Gore. U.S. shuffl e the pages and mutter some- wouldn’t hesitate political cul- thing about illogical and idealistic to help other ter- ture has also hippies with no grounding in reality. rorists get into the dramatically Even those who would support such country with the changed since a concept would have an idealism aim of causing mass . Bush’s tempered by decades of disappoint- casualties.” Th e num- rhetoric of fear ment and be—rightly—cynical about bers are even scarier was entirely any sort of far-reaching change like than the rhetoric. effective due that. And geez, wouldn’t legalization A study by a Harry to not only come aft er decriminalization? Levine at Queens a mediocre Why on Earth would he think College in New Democratic something so goddamn silly? York shows arrest rates for cannabis nominee but also prevailing worries Th e prohibition of cannabis (and possession increased from , about Iraq and the War on Terror. indeed, the entire orchestration of between  and  to , Th ere’s also the trend of Americans there is an immense number of situation. It is quite likely the black the U.S.-led “War On Drugs”) is in the last decade. Th at’s over nine generally not voting out the incum- non-violent black drug off enders community will pressure Obama to likely the single most-neglected times the rate of the decade prior. bent during a time of war. in prison. In fact, according to do something about the fact they’re social justice issue of the last two While the less rational among us How Obama also diff ers is that an International Herald Tribune being unfairly discriminated against decades in North America. When will argue such an increase is even if you discount his mixed- article,  marked the fi rst time (whether this is true or not, though people think of the term “drug because of the inherently addic- heritage he’s—to use probably the in history when more than one I tend to veer towards the latter), abuser,” they think of homeless tive and destructive nature of such understatement of the year—prob- in every hundred Americans was and if not, then the obscene cost crack cocaine-addicts spoiling the a terrible, terrible drug, the more ably at least a little bit more sensitive in prison. The total U.S. prison of the U.S. prison state will result beauty of downtown or causing rationale (such as those among us to black issues than Bush. Th is is population is in the neighbour- in at least some sort of leniency harm upon innocent citizens, not who’ve read the dozens and dozens signifi cant because the War on Pot hood of . million. According towards drug off enders by neces- non-violent cannabis users, many of of medical reports stating that prior is heinously discriminatory towards to a separate source, an estimated sity alone. The average cost to whom use cannabis in a legitimate conclusion is most defi nitely not minorities. In the Levine study,  per cent are non-violent drug imprison a single person for a year medicinal fashion. Flipping through the case) will realize this is a politi-  per cent of the people jailed off enders. How is this sustainable in the U.S. is ,. Th is doesn’t the pages of Treating Yourself, the cally- and ideologically-motivated for marijuana possession were in any capacity? If you look at the even begin to touch upon the lost closest the cannabis community has attack on an incredibly intelligent either black or hispanic. Th e rate graph of incarceration rates, it’s an income tax revenue potentially to a full-fl edged academic journal, and diverse community. of incarceration in New York for exponential curve. One would think generated if those jailed for can- one quickly realizes that pot off end- Obviously, a trend of increas- blacks is nearly . times that of it would level out, however, it hasn’t. nabis sale or production were able ers aren’t the problem. ing drug arrests is in no way whites. Taken to a national level, Furthermore, states spend almost  to legitimately make their living. So why have cannabis arrests in indicative of a future trend of the rate is two and a half times per cent of their entire budget on Th e British Columbia marijuana the United States skyrocketed in the legalization. However, there is greater. Worse, in some parts like corrections, behind only the three industry is worth over  billion last ten years? also a U.S. presidential election Syracuse, the rate is nearly ten times big ones: health care, education and according to a Fraiser Institute Cannabis is actively being pur- in the works and it’s increas- that of whites. transportation. study—and that’s in a country of  sued as the Offi ce of National Drug ingly likely a young, mixed-race Regardless of how you interpret Consequently, there’s both a million. Were cannabis legalized in Control Policy’s (ONDCP) drug of Democrat will take the vote. this, the fact of the matter is that fi nancial and social aspect to the the States, a country of  million, the money made from taxes would be enough to fund either the War on Terror or something like health LSAT MCAT GMAT GRE Preparation Seminars

Complete 30-Hour Seminars Proven Test-Taking Strategies Personalized Professional Instruction Comprehensive Study Materials Simulated Practice Exams Free Repeat Policy Personal Tutoring Available Thousands of Satisfied Students Oxford Seminars 1-800-779-1779 / 780-428-8700 www.oxfordseminars.com GAUNTLET OPINIONS APRIL 03.08 11 care ad infi nitum. It doesn’t matter which end of the political spectrum you lean towards, legalization makes The heavy cost of happiness brilliant fi nancial sense. I also believe that if the Democrats are smart and want to dismantle the Republican party for the next two decades, they will try to diff erentiate themselves from the Bush adminis- Cam Cotton-O’Brien tration as much as humanly possible. Pidgeon Talk What better way to do this than to legalize an innocuous substance that ood is not the only thing that has been demonized by conserva- one can swallow to get fat. In tives since time immemorial? Th e F a society reeling from both near-fascist detention of cannabis rampant depression and obesity, users can easily be coupled with the news that the medicines used the near-fascist manner in which to treat the former can exacerbate Obama’s predecessor has done the latter is cruel comedy. everything. Were the Democrats Tucked to the side of the front and media to historically paint the page on the Mon., Mar.  edition Bush administration as fascist, the of the Calgary Herald was a small notion of President Jeb Bush will headline that read “Depression seem utterly farcical come . drugs make patients fat.” Th e article None of this will ever come to reported that many individuals who illustration by Paul Baker fruition if the cannabis-using popu- take psychiatric medicine to treat lation of the U.S. remains silent. If depression can experience large depressed, may be wholly unneces- on meds if they do not need it. treatment programs without the there is to be change in the manner weight gains. The Herald article sary and ineff ectual. Th e problem is that these new side-eff ects. I’ve described, it has to come from quoted a doctor saying these gains Another interesting point to treatments requires more patient- Certainly there are cases where massive grass-roots pressure—no could be anywhere from  to  consider is that recent research therapist contact, which is diffi cult medication will be a necessary pun intended. If cannabis prohibi- pounds—an unseemly amount, for suggests that there are a few, non- to do in a mental health industry treatment, but the current practice tion in the United States ends, it sure. Some months ago, however, medicinal treatment programs that plagued by chronic staffi ng short- of prescribing pills as the fi rst step will end everywhere. How utterly while researching for another story, a may be as eff ective as the pill-tak- ages, as is the case in Alberta. It is to treating depression is likely bizarre would a news story about worker at the Calgary Health Region ing variety—even for the severely simply much easier and less time- unnecessary, possibly ineffective Canadians trying to extradite U.S. informed me that the number could depressed. Th ese new treatments consuming to prescribe a pill and and obviously vulnerable to insti- pot seed dealers sound? Canada is be in excess of  pounds. include a few diff erent methods of some blood tests every once in a gating a massive over-medication economically pressured by the U.S. Th is problem cannot be viewed psychotherapy. while than to engage in regular and of society. It can be argued that this in the bulk of our domestic policy clearly without realizing that recent If these alternative treatments potentially-intensive therapy with a is clearly the road our culture has and this is just another instance studies have found medicinal treat- are able to help individuals suf- patient. Th ere is hope, though. Th e taken, with the explosion of anti- where we’d follow—and this time, ment may only be eff ective for the fering from depression without government recently passed Bill  depressants and other psychiatric it would even cause us national severely depressed, a point also recourse to drug therapy, then to amend the Mental Health Act and drugs over the last decade or two queasiness. made by the Herald. Th is is a dis- they scream to be carefully exam- move treatment out into the com- demonstrating a dubious cultural Freedom’s coming in . turbing idea when one considers that ined and put into practice if proven munity. It is purportedly recognized dependence on little pills. Spread the word. medication is currently the standard successful. Indeed, if they are at least that this bill cannot be implemented Th e ongoing concerns of both form of treatment for many types of as effi cacious as medicine, then they without an expansion of services, so depression and obesity are, psychiatric disorders, ranging from should take over from the happy- this lack of capacity could become at least in some ways, related. All graphs taken from H.G. Levine’s NY state severe cases of depression to far pills as the primary method of less of an issue in the near future. Society owes itself on two counts testimony, located at soc.qc.cuny.edu/Staff/levine/ less drastic problems. Medication, treatment for all individuals. Th ere It needs to be addressed, especially to pursue new, non-medicinal psy- Marijuana-Arrests/HGLevine-graphs-and-testimony- NYState-Assembly-May31-07.pdf except in the case of the severely is absolutely no reason to put people if it will help move people into chiatric treatment options. 12 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET OPINIONS Letter, cont’d from pg. 4

Th e profs have no guts anymore. are businesses. Money goes through extra money towards tuition, even How many profs have spoken out it, there it is a business. It is an inter- that is somewhat better. It is a f or Dr. Dube? Zero. Th e adminis- esting rhetorical note. I believe the foolish decision done in complete tration and department of political school is a public service—a public ignorance of the people it eff ects science shun him. “Do not give him right no diff erent from our streets, the most. attention and he will go away.” How the police or street lights: society Hey Harvey! Can’t you at least many years, just in Canada, have needs all these things. A univer- pretend to give a shit about us—like profs had to fight for academic sity education (should) promote you do when you seek our consulta- freedom? And why—so that profs the creation of better citizens for tion on tuition increases? We should can be too afraid to use it? our cities, provinces, country and get to vote if you should get a raise Th e administration is a heartless world. The best example is t he (interesting results most likely). corporate machine. Harvey claims recent Credit Cardgate fi asco. What But, I digress. we are a business because  mil- numbnut decided that was a good Goodbye Dr. Dube. Know that lion go through the school. Using idea? No student who ever had to you changed the lives of many. that logic, I guess health care is a wait in line for a year would agree business. I guess elementary schools with that. How about putting the Anonymous fi fth-year Pleb SU View: SU protests credit card issue credit card withdrawal decision was their story of how the credit card made without consulting students withdrawal decision aff ects them. on how this would eff ect their abil- We all want the same thing, and ity to pay, what is being done with through diplomacy and action we Richard Freeman the saved money and how service can make it happen. Be it meetings SU VP Events is eff ected. with Harvey, the Board of Governors, Current students need to work petitions, emails, demonstrations, University administration is together to send the message to et cetera, the student voice will be focused on the future, the student the university that we still mat- heard. Get your message out, email experience of . However, many ter. Th e Students’ Union met this [email protected]. current students are unsatisfi ed with week with senior administration to For updates on current action visit their U of C education. In its drive demand a reversal of the credit card www.su.ucalgary.ca. for the future, the university has lost withdrawal decision. communication with the current We at the SU have that spot at The SU View and its corresponding student body. Th e university is here the table with the administration. headline are provided by the to serve students—understanding What gives us power at the table is Students’ Union and published how its decisions eff ect students you—students emailing the admin- without Gauntlet editorial revision. must not be an aft erthought. Th e istration, signing petitions, telling GAUNTLET SPORTS APRIL 03.08 13 sports Editor: Amanda Hu—[email protected] Changing the face of mixed martial arts

a higher level. He and a new generation of mmafeature athletes are hoping to change the stereotypical image of MMA fi ghters. Amanda Hu “We have guys who are university stu- Sports Editor dents, master’s students and they fight,” says Comfort. “It’s not just about violence. ft er a night in fi ght club, everything in It’s one of the purest ways to test your will “ the real world gets the volume turned and what you’re made of.” A down,” writes Chuck Palahniuk in But despite the changing connotations, his cult novel, Fight Club. the realities of being a non-varsity athlete Th is sentiment rings true for the real-life still make training and recognition harder mixed martial arts fi ghters who face oppo- for many university students involved in nents in head-to-head battles that test will activities like MMA. and resolve to an extreme degree. “Th e off -campus student athlete has a lot of Mixed martial arts emerged in the early obstacles in the way because they don’t get the ’s as a way to compare various diff erent same kind of leeway that the varsity athletes fi ghting disciplines in the competitive arena. get in some cases,” Comfort adds. “Make no Th e sport’s popularity peaked, in part, due mistake, the varsity athletes don’t get a lot of to organizations like Ultimate Fighting leeway, but you don’t get to train on campus Championship, which premiered in . very much other than your random workout, Th ough its origins stem from the com- doing weights and cardio.” parison of diff erent marital arts, MMA has In attempts to enrich the MMA community melded into its own sport, combining the at U of C, Comfort says they are working with best of all worlds of fi ghting. Th ere are two campus recreation to formalize a mixed martial main categories of technique, striking and arts program on campus. Th e Students’ Union grappling, which encompass all the tools a even sanctioned a club for the sport, which was, fi ghter should need to attack and subdue unfortunately, disbanded this year. their opponent. Fighters, themselves, come With the changing face of MMA, the com- from all fi elds and backgrounds of combat munity is trying to fi nd the happy balance and work with various specialists to hone between its original marketing style, touting their technique and create a well-rounded fi ghts as utterly brutal and, alternately, trying knowledge and ability. Chris Beauchamp/the Gauntlet to appeal to fans who want to see a plain, old Calgary is home to a young-but-fl ourishing Max Dalsin prepares to knock out the competition. beating and setting a new tone for its percep- MMA community that hopes to produce a new tion, one that includes an appreciation for the crop of well-rounded fi ghters. Th ose involved fi ghts, contrary to how they are sometimes lations, the Calgary MMA scene is propelled fi ghters’ fi nesse and talent. in the sport say that the city provides many portrayed in mainstream media. by fi ghters’ continued interest in the sport. “People sort of sell it as something that’s unique opportunities for improvement. Calgary is home to two main organizations, U of C student Max Dalsin is preparing for the really barbaric, because that’s what sells tick- “I think Calgary and Alberta have been Hardcore Fighting Championships and Legacy second professional fi ght of his career Apr. . ets,” says Dalsin. “On the other hand, it takes good for mixed martial arts because there’s Fighting Championships, who take on the Strongly based in jujitsu, Dalsin, who trans- a lot more brute strength to do this. You have a fairly hands-off approach to other people’s responsibility of hosting and promoting fi ghts planted himself from Victoria to Calgary a to be a complete athlete and I don’t think that conducts,” says Beamer Comfort, MMA coach throughout the year. While able to take hold few years ago, sees his involvement in MMA people get enough credit for the training and and a former Dinos wrestler. “In the earlier of the MMA community in the west, LFC owner as something that just made sense. athleticism that goes into it. Th ey think we’re days, mixed martial arts was more taboo Scott Birkby says that the tough regulations “I used to fi ght a lot in hockey and every- going into it to smash each other’s faces in and people weren’t jumping to sanction [the make the city a challenge to work in, despite thing else,” he says. “I was pretty good and and stuff . Th ere’s just so much going on that sport]. Alberta and the other governments making the sport more safe for fi ghters. played at a high level, but I found that, what- the untrained eye can’t see.” had a kind of laissez-faire attitude and said, “Th e reason I started in Calgary is because ever sport it was, I was fi ghting at the end, so Comfort agrees. ‘If they want to fi ght, we’ll make it as safe as no one else was doing it and the rules are so I might as well just stick with the fi ghting.” “Honestly, that market is still out there and possible so they can do it.’ It had a chance to tough and the commission is so tough on pro- He moved to Calgary to attend university and people will want to come watch mixed martial get a head start in things.” moters,” he explains. “As far as the fi ghting in hone his kickboxing skills with coaches Dan arts because it’s always going to be violent,” As an attempt to move away from the dark, Calgary, the rules fall under the Nevada state Miller and Don Boswell, accomplished fi ghters he says. “But ultimately, mixed martial arts underground connotation that has, to a certain commission, so there are a tonne of [them] in that discipline, as well as further his ground is now moving on from being a spectacle to extent, stigmatized MMA, the sport has been for the sport. Th ere’s a lot of preparation that fi ghting skills, training with the wrestling com- being a sport.” working with municipal and state govern- goes into it by the fi ghter before they even let munity and athletes like Comfort. ments in Canada and the U.S. to regulate and them fi ght, so they screen out a lot of people. What probably seems surprising to the

sanction the fi ghts, similar to wrestling and Th ey don’t have amateurs going in there.” unassuming onlooker is Dalsin’s priority to Max faces off against Chris Enns at the Victoria Pavillion at boxing. Th is results in fully legal and safe Th roughout all the organization and regu- fi nish his degree before pursuing his sport at Stampede Park Apr. 5. The fi ght starts at 7 p.m. 14 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET SPORTS Getting to know the National League

their  million stadium. St. Louis Cardinals and Ryan Howard like their New York counterparts, Those are the two teams that baseballpreview Th ere’s other interesting news, if with the Philadelphia Phillies, while the Yankees, will score a ton runs might pose any sort of threat to AL you’re a Blue Jays fan. Despite the one of the best young third basemen and they drew the lucky card of not supremacy this year, but everything Joshua Goard-Baker disappointment of the rainout yes- can be found in David Wright of the having to play in the tough AL east, changes over a -game season. Th e Gauntlet Sports terday, it might have given the Jays’ New York Mets, a player some gen- or even the AL for that matter. Los Angeles Dodgers, with new skip- brass more time to negotiate with eral managers might choose to build Biggest surprise prediction of ’: per Joe Torre, could very well turn hat a difference one budding young star Alex Rios on a a team around. John Maine wins  games or less. some heads this year and end their week makes. Last week, new  million contract that would No surprise prediction of ’: It’s underachieving ways. Meanwhile, W this preview projected lock him up through to . Despite New York Mets: Th ey are prob- getting to that time where Carlos the Chicago Cubs and Milwaukee Scott Rolen for a huge year, making the heft iness of the contract, it might ably the team to beat in the NL Delgado might need to think about Brewers are set to duke it out all sum- the diff erence in the Toronto Blue not be enough if Rios continues to after picking up Johan Santana donning an AL jersey so he can get mer for the NL central title and the last Jays lineup. Now, Rolen will be out develop the way he has. from the Minnesota Twins in the off the fi eld and focus on his role as remaining playoff spot. At this point, of that Jays lineup until late Apr., at Now, the National League—or off -season and maybe the best left designated hitter. the safe bet is on the Brewers, since the very least. Th is still gives him fi ve the “lesser” league, as some call side of the infi eld in all of baseball the Cubs always seem to fi nd a way or so months to shine in the “centre it—is in a sad state of aff airs that with Wright and José Reyes at third Philadelphia Phillies: The best to lose from either fan interference or of the Canadian universe.” Sunday it can barely put up a fi ght against base and short stop, respectively. team in the NL is the Phillies. From player miscues. Last year’s Cinderella marked the beginning of a new era American League clubs when Oct. The Mets rotation is spectacular top to bottom, their batting lineup teams, the Arizona Diamondbacks in the U.S. capital, with a brand-new hits. Th is year will probably be no at the top with Santana and Pedro is littered with players who can hit and Colorado Rockies, won’t be able national’s park. Th e stadium might diff erent, as the world championship Martinez who is apparently healthy. the ball out of the park at any given to sneak up on anyone this year. Out boost attendance in Washington will most certainly be won by one of Aft er that, things get a little dicey. time. Th ey have the best fi rst base- of the two, the Diamondbacks are D.C., which would in turn boost the powerful AL clubs this year. Th e John Maine, Oliver Perez and Mike men in the league in Howard, the best the most likely to return to the post- payroll. Th at payroll jump might, NL boasts some spectacular talent, Pelfrey are defi nitely not the three second basemen with Chase Utley season if they can halt any Dodger just maybe, alter the landscape in and some of the best superstars in the most would choose to round out and last year’s NL MVP at short in uprising. Luckily for NL west teams, the National League in the future, game. Th e two most powerful fi rst their rotation and the bullpen is thin Jimmy Rollins. Shane Victorino the Dodgers, Diamondbacks, Rockies but for now, the nationals are going basemen play on NL clubs are both as well with Billy Wagner holding and Pat Burrell off er good options and Padres, they will have the plea- to be playing mediocre baseball in under the age of —Albert Pujols of the clubs closing duties. Th e Mets, for any team in the outfi eld, while sure of destroying the San Francisco Jayson Werth and Geoff Jenkins Giants all season. Th e Giants are in are a comparable platoon pairing for an awful year and might rival the in right fi eld. Th e rotation has Cole Baltimore Orioles in losses. Let’s play some physical chess Hamels and Brett Myers at the top The four NL playoff teams will as two young pitchers who might be be the Mets, Phillies, Brewers and combat art to this very day. Epic Fencing Club president and on the verge of stardom, while bionic Diamondbacks. Enjoy the season! fencingfeature Fencing involves the use of three University of Calgary student Brita -year-old man Jamie Moyer rounds diff erent implements—foil, épée and Goldie. “It’s very pre-planned. It’s out the top three. Th e bullpen is thin Individual and miscellaneous Amanda Hu sabre—to battle one-on-one with an like, ‘I’ll do this and they’ll do that and lost the services of Brad Lidge predictions Sports Editor opponent. Th e weapons all vary in and then I’ll do this to counter it.’ for the time being while he recovers NL Cy Young: Johan Santana size, shape, weight and in rules Before you do anything, especially from injury. NL MVP: Mark Teixeira “En garde!” regarding valid hit points on the in épée, you fi gure out what you’re Biggest surprise prediction of NL rookie of the year: Cameron While the epic cry of d’Artagnan body during a match. Th e sport’s going to do and what the other ’: Howard strikes out less than Maybin and others who ventured into sword- movements are more equated to person’s going to do in return.”  times during the season. Surprise play-off pick: Atlanta fi ghting duels seems like an echo of strategic placements rather than Points are awarded based on an No surprise prediction of ’: Braves the past, modern fencers are strongly spontaneous slashes or pokes. athlete scoring a touch on their Hamels wins  games and the NLCS champion: Milwaukee Brewers. continuing the fi nessed Renaissance “People call it physical chess,” says see fencing, page  Phillies win the NL east. No, seriously. Yeah, the Brewers. GAUNTLET SPORTS APRIL 03.08 15

CAMPUSSCREENING:THURS.APRIL24 @ 7 PM Sportspinions: No country for b-ballin’

position of having found  million lying on the ground aft er a horrifi c drug deal gone wrong. Likewise, Paul fi nds himself in the enviable Austin Paladeau position of being the forerunner Sports Columnist in the MVP race aft er enduring two years on a very bad team in a very he other night, I was over bad situation (New Orleans in the at my buddy Adin’s house aft ermath of Hurricane Katrina). T enjoying a beer and the In the movie, Anton Chigurh is cinematic gem No Country For charged with the task of retriev- Old Men, when he turned to me ing the ill-begotten loot from Moss. and asked me who I thought was the Enter Bryant, the main antagonist most valuable player in the NBA this to Paul’s aspirations of adding the season. I stared at him in disbelief, MVP hardware to his collection. Th e partially because everyone knows man oft en referred to as “Th e Black Chris Paul of the New Orleans Mamba” has set his sights on taking Hornets deserves the award and what he views as rightfully his, all partially because he interrupted a on his way to leading the Lakers scene in the movie involving Javier back to championship glory. Like Bardem and Woody Harrelson that Chigurh in No Country, Bryant will was pretty intense—if you have seen not rest until he accomplishes his the movie, you know which part I’m goals. referring to. Without answering Finally, we have the character him, I silently turned my attention portrayed by Jones, Ed Tom Bell. back to the movie and attempted to An old-west Texas sheriff on his immerse myself back into the story. way out the door, Bell most accu- Unfortunately, my dear friend had rately resembles Nash, although planted what I refer to as the “sports perhaps not in the way you would hypothetical” bug in my head and, think. Nash is neither old, relatively as you would know if you have ever speaking, nor really all that close had this particular affl iction, there to retirement. What he represents, was no getting it out. though, is the old guard: the class As my mind wandered through of men who have been around the Paul highlights from this past season, game for a long time, have had suc- I began to concede that maybe I had cess—in Nash’s case, back-to-back accepted the conventional wisdom MVP titles—and are in the hunt for too easily and perhaps Paul was not more. Unfortunately, much like Bell, the runaway MVP as many talking Nash is doomed to always be a step heads would have you believe. behind Paul and Bryant this year Contemplating it more in depth, and possibly for the remainder of his one could argue that each team in days in the league. He will eventually the playoff picture in the western fade into the sunset, having never conference has an MVP candidate fully realized how close he came to on their roster, with names such as catching the two men who were so Kobe Bryant, Baron Davis and Steve near his grasp. Nash leading the way. Th is is not to Turning back to my friend, I mention what the green giant, Kevin off ered my thesis to him regard- Garnett, has done for the Celtics ing the MVP race and No Country. in the east. As I stared blankly at Having never seen the movie pre- the television watching images of vious to this viewing, I think my Mexican drug runners, sawed off theory was completely lost on him, shotguns and really bad hair cuts although he did off er a rather sage dance across the screen, something insight aft er I was done explain- occurred to me: No Country For Old ing. Men could easily be construed as a “Well, that may be true, but I metaphor for the race for the MVP suppose I won’t know who comes award in the NBA. out on top until the movie is over,” Th inking about it, each poten- he said. tial MVP fi ts rather neatly into the He was correct with this assess- character archetypes portrayed ment. by Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Until the fi nal buzzer rings on Bardem and Josh Brolin. Chris the NBA season, there will be no Paul is the—somewhat—loveable defi nitive answer. All we can do Llewelyn Moss, a man who fi nds is sit back and enjoy watching the himself in the apparently enviable cat-and-mouse game unfold. 16 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET SPORTS Fencing, cont’d from page 14 opponent that is within the valid athletes involved in fencing face hit areas for each specifi c discipline. challenges in balancing schoolwork Within the strategy lies the push- and training. Most view moving over and-pull between taking advantage to Europe, where the sport got its of openings the opponent makes and start and the best of the world can be maintaining one’s own defence. found, as the logical step when con- In Calgary, fencing has a strong sidering the Olympics, while those following with clubs like Epic and who choose to remain in Calgary the University of Calgary fencing while working towards high-level club that provide a place for those goals face lots of travelling. with an interest in the sport to learn As Calgary fi ghts to gain attention the skills, train and be involved in as a fencing centre in Canada and a community. Th e Alberta Fencing in North America, the community Association also plays a large role in is struggling to keep afl oat, to the promoting athletes that are trying detriment of the athletes that pour to move to national and Olympic so much of their time into being levels. involved. Prymack cites lack of fund- “Th ere’s a very strong community ing and attention as a made defi cit aspect,” says Goldie. “Once you’re for the sport in Calgary. in it, you’re our friend for life. We “I wouldn’t say [fencing] is a also have a lot more competitions dying sport,” he says. “Th ere is a than the east does. A lot goes on super-strong community. If you in Calgary. You’re able to compete stay in the sport, you usually end within the city if you want to com- up volunteering with the organiza- pete, so you don’t have to travel as tion, or being a coach or referee for much.” tournaments. Th e Alberta Fencing Most fencers train rigorously Association works hard to develop throughout the year under a regime athletes. Th e fencing community of mixed disciplines to strengthen here is trying really hard.” the many aspects of their technique. Goldie agrees, saying that while, Epic member and junior nationals priority is oft en placed on the high- champion Anthony Prymack says level athletes, the community needs that even the nature of their tourna- to be fostered in order to keep help ment arenas and training grounds those that want to learn more in the can be injury-causing, leaving him sport and eventually advance. to resort to unexpected recupera- “I think there needs to be more tion methods. publicity because people don’t “It’s really hard on your body, even know there are fencing clubs because you’re fencing in these com- in Calgary or even fencing in petitions that have cement fl oors, Canada,” she says. “Before we can almost like the Calgary Round-up start getting more support, we need Centre,” he says. “I’d be pulling my people to realize that there are more [gluteus medius] and my lower back communities available for fencing was going out of wack, so I started opportunities. Sport Canada only doing some yoga to become more funds the best of the best, like the fl exible and those problems went top-eight in the world. A lot of our away.” funding comes from people joining In addition to injuries, young and taking the classes.”

Paul Baker/the Gauntlet Anthony Prymack (r) faces off against his opponent. GAUNTLET SPORTS APRIL 03.08 17 We’re all winners, really Night of the Dino honours U of C athletes nightofthedino Amanda Hu Sports Editor

he st Annual Night of the Dino commandeered T MacEwan Hall for a night of shiny awards and smiling faces Tue., Apr. . Th e Dinos celebrated their various achievements this year, including CIS gold and silver in men’s and women’s swimming, CIS bronze in women’s volleyball, CW gold in cross country, ACAC silver in women’s hockey, CIS silver and CW gold for men’s and women’s track and fi eld and CIS silver in women’s wrestling. Graduating athletes and fifth- years were honoured for their continued dedication to Dinos athletics and continued success in balancing their varsity careers and scholastic endeavours. In addition to the teams’ laurels, the athletes came together to recognize their Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet peers’ various individual achieve- Omar Langford accepts his Gauntlet extra effort award. ments. Awards of merit were given to recognized aft er her participation the Dr. Dennis Kadatz athletes of outstanding Dinos athletes Jared in the CIS gold medal-achieving the year, found themselves in the Aulin for men’s hockey, Justine x metre relay team as well as hands of Young and Eff ah. Young Bouchard for women’s wrestling, CW bronze individual medal. captained the women’s volleyball Courtney Coyle for women’s bas- Th e Dinos also took time in the team to another CIS bronze even ketball Mark Dewit for football and ceremony to honour some indi- in the wake of their coach, Kevin men’s wrestling, Sam Eff ah for men’s viduals and groups that, while not Boyles, taking on the role of interim track and fi eld, Chad Hankewich for athletes, heartily contributed to the athletic director. Individually, she men’s swimming, Amonn Nelson for teams’ success this season. tackled the roles of left side and women’s track and fi eld, Anthony Th e Murray Fraser student vol- libero and was named a fi rst-team Woodson for football and Julie unteer awards, given in the name Canada West all-star and second- Young for women’s volleyball. All of the former university president, team all-Canadian. Young was of these Dinos were also considered were presented to event volunteer surprised by the award and cited for the Dr. Dennis Kadatz athletes Shubham Tiwari and the NUTV Live! her win as a team and coaching tri- of the year. crew for their work during Dinos umph. Looking towards next year, Tyler Fidler from men’s basket- events and promoting awareness for with Boyles’ role as IAD taking up all ball and Breanna Hendriks from the program. Th e Dr. Lou Goodwin his time and the team working with women’s swimming took home Bill award was presented to Tony a new coach, she sees the transition Popplewell rookie of the year hon- Spoletini and Spolumbo’s Deli for as a positive thing for the team. ours. Fidler made a much-noticed their continued support and hosting “We really don’t want to see contribution to his team averaging of Dinos football hour every week Kevin leave, but we know it’s the  minutes of play and . points during the team’s season. CIS  perfect opportunity for him,” she per game and was considered the wrestling championships volunteer said. “We’re really happy with the sixth man for most of the year. In chair Irene Buchan received the new coach that’s coming in, so I addition to his newly awarded title, Marg Southern award, recogniz- think it’s going to be a really good he was named to the CIS all-rookie ing her achievements in bringing and smooth transition.” team and holds CW rookie of the attention and acclaim to the tour- Eff ah blew everyone away at CW year. Hendriks followed the tradi- nament, held at the U of C Feb.  and CIS this year, grabbing four gold tion of female swimmers named to Mar. . Th e Vereburn Athletic medals at nationals and taking the as CIS rookie of the year, following Therapy awards were bestowed titles of CIS championship MVP, CIS teammates Katy Murdoch and upon Sarah Robinson and Tiff any track athlete of the year and CW track Kevyn Peterson. She was awarded Toombs for the excellent care and athlete of the year. Th ough caught two CIS silver medals and made the physical therapy they provided for off -guard by the honour as well, he CIS second all-Canadian team. Dinos athletes all year in the fi eld said that he sees next year as having Another honour was given on and clinically. even greater potential for individual behalf of the Calgary Booster Club Gauntlet sports editor Amanda and team success. to give credit to students who excel Hu had the pleasure of presenting “It’s been sort of a down year both athletically and academically. this year’s Gauntlet extra effort and it’s been sort of competitive Dewit made another appearance award to women’s soccer player because a lot of fi ft h-year athletes accepting this award aft er playing Morena Ianniello and men’s vol- graduated and then it was just me double-duty on the football and leyballer Omar Langford. The and the younger athletes,” he said. wrestling teams. His involvement extra eff ort award is given to one “Th e team came second at Canada garnered him both a trip to the CFL male and female athlete to recognize West championships [this year], so combine in Mar. as well as captur- their perseverance and dedication defi nitely going for the gold [is a ing the CIS heavyweight title. Tessa to the pursuit of athletic excellence goal]. We just need a lot more fi eld Gray represented the women’s side for the Dinos. guys. [On an individual level,] I’d for the scholarship when she was The last awards of the night, just like to break a record or two.” 18 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET GAUNTLET APRIL 03.08 19 Editor: Geoff MacIntosh—[email protected] photo spread

“The View” by Paul Baker Dover, England, 2007

“Anticipation” by John McDonald “Prague Streets” by Martin Lussier Pearson Airport, Toronto, 2007 Prague, The Czech Republic, 2007

ssell “Limited” by Leya Ru 6 Darjeeling, India, 200

“Casa Loma” “Single Track” by Ryan May by Geoff MacIntosh Toronto, Ontario, 2007 Maui, Hawaii, 2006

“Uluru Walk” “Downtown Down Under” by Katy Anderson “Sweaters” by Jon Roe Ayers Rock, Australia, 2005 by Katy Anderson Veradero, Cuba, 2007 Melbourne, Australia, 2005

“Burmis T ier “Civilizat ree” by J Luss ion (The Mu Cro ohn M inzing” by Martin seum)” by Ryan wsnest Pa cDonald “Gr ienna, Austria, 2007 “Water May ss, Alberta, 2007 V side” by Leya Russell Ottawa, Ontario, 200 Gallway, Ireland, 2007 6 entertainment

TTHEHE JUNO INVASION CANADA’S MUSIC AWARDS COME TO TOWN 2008J uno A w a r ds host committee and says the push to all engaged this weekend. We actually ning Calgary’s various music venues as bring the awards to town began several had double or more the number of vol- well as more unique settings, such as eventpreview years ago. unteers [we needed.] Some people were the airport. Th e festivities surrounding “It was in  that we originally disappointed because they weren’t able over the weekend are aimed that ensur- Ryan Pike started and the pitch committee to participate as volunteers.” ing that the average Calgarian’s Juno Entertainment Editor started meeting,” remembers Rock. Similar to how the Calgary Stampede experience isn’t limited to watching the “We put the team together and took captures the city in cowboy spirit, Rock show on CTV, but rather getting them n Roman mythology, Juno was best a bunch of people just kind of pitching says the organizers hope the Junos to enjoy as much music as they can. known as the patron goddess of in to see what was happening. From energizes Calgarians about Canadian “Our number-one objective was to I Rome and protector of the state. there, everyone who was interested music. To that end, the city will be engage as many people as possible,” In popular culture, Juno is an indie got together and we invited a few transformed over the awards week- states Rock. “Th is is the biggest city film. However, Canadians typically more people who knew big events. end into a musical wonderland. Th e that’s hosted the Juno Awards since associate Juno with the Juno Awards, We had some planning sessions and centrepiece of the eff ort is Junofest. it left Toronto. We’ve got a lot of held annually to honour the best of then scoped out a budget and had “Junofest is a Juno Awards event,” people to let know what’s happen- our nation’s music. some key events that we were going says Rock. “They actually hired a ing and get excited about Canadian The Juno Awards were first held to undertake and sort of built a team local producer, Greg Curtis from the music. Right now it starts when you in Toronto in —then known as from there.” U of C, [who] put a team together and fl y into Calgary; as part of the awards, the Gold Leaf Awards—organized by Historically, Calgary is known as a a committee to pick artists and those there’s live music at the airport and has record label head Stan Klees and RPM city with a great deal of volunteer spirit, kinds of things. He was also on the been for the whole month of March. Magazine founder Walt Grealis. Th e with the  Olympics being famed host committee as an advisor, so he’s We’re having surprise concerts this awards were renamed the Junos in for its many volunteers. Not unexpect- been involved in all of the planning. week on C-Trains, so you’re going to , a shortened homage to inau- edly, the Juno Awards have also had It was a good link between us and be able to go on the train and have gural CRTC head Pierre Juneau, and tremendous community support. the Juno Awards in terms of having a ride with good music. We’re just became a Canadian cultural staple. “There was a group of about  our vision be part of Junofest. If you doing whatever we can to get as many Th e ceremony left the cozy confi nes people with our total planning com- look at the lineup for Junofest, it’s so people engaged as possible.” of Toronto in  to travel the mittee,” notes Rock. “Th at committee good. Calgary’s really showing up in nation and this year have arrived in then grew with sub-committees to it as well.” The 2008 Juno Awards air Sun., Apr. 6 beginning Calgary. Calgary Arts Development between  and  at various points. Th e rest of Juno Awards weekend at 6 p.m. on CTV. The eTalk Daily at the Junos special president/CEO Terry Rock sits on the Now we’ve got over , volunteers features a wide array of events span- begins at 5 p.m. The ceremony’s at the Saddledome.

THE FESTIVITIES sidebars by Jordyn Marcellus

Musicians in Motion—Fri., Apr.  Free concerts are a pretty sweet deal. like Aaron Lines and Shout Out Out early to avoid long lineups. and Sat., Apr.  from – p.m. Th is free Th u. concert is the perfect way Out Out’s Gravy—yes folks, that’s Songwriter’s Circle—Sun., Apr.  Juno fever has even infected public to start out the rockingest weekend in what his jersey will say—on the side from noon to  p.m. transit. Local musicians like Michael Calgary. Starting at  p.m. bands like the of the Rockers. Tickets only cost  at The lights go down in the Jack Bernard Fitzgerald will be playing Dudes and Sloan will take to the stage at Ticketmaster. Singer Concert Hall at EPCOR -minute acoustic sets on the C-Train, Olympic Plaza for a free show. Other acts Juno Fan Fare—Sat., Apr.  from Centre Sun. at noon as numerous a great opportunity to take out the include lesser known upstarts like Finger  a.m. to  p.m. Canadian songwriters, including headphones and be entertained by live Eleven and Bedouin Soundclash. Hob-nob with your favourite musi- Alberta’s own Corb Lund and Tegan music. At the very least it will defi nitely Juno Cup—Fri., Apr.  starting at cians at the Olympic Oval. With bands Quinn (of Tegan and Sara fame), tell add a new dynamic to those crowded : p.m. like illScarlett and Hedley, as well as stories and sing songs about their expe- moments on the C-Train. Granted, Hockey greats and music geeks fi ght singers like Joel Plaskett and rapper rience as singer-songwriters. Aft er the the C-Train isn’t especially crowded at it out on at the  Juno Cup in the Belly, every fan of every genre will be two nights of drinking and partying at : p.m. on a Saturday. Stampede Corral. On the side of the quite pleased. It’s free to attend and the Junofest, the more intimate setting of Free outdoor concert at Olympic hockey vets are Doug Gilmour and doors open at  a.m. It’s on a fi rst-come, the Songwriter’s Circle is a rare treat Plaza—Th u., Apr.  from – p.m. Paul Coff ey against music mavericks fi rst-served basis—so be sure to get there indeed. – at Ticketmaster. GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT APRIL 03.08 21

Even though most of the buzz Pride Tiger—Fri., Apr.  at about the Junos is devoted to the midnight big name celebrities, it’s all about Sometimes, you just want to rock the music man. Pick up a  the fuck out. With their midnight wristband if you want to traipse all show at the Warehouse, prepare around downtown to check out the your best rock-out face and get greatest bands that Canada has to ready to pump your fi st in the air off er, or if an individual show tickles as the Vancouver hard-rockers come your fancy you can hit that venue out to see the Calgary crowd-surf- up for . Here are some of the ing scene. best acts to check out. Indie Rock Night—Sat., Apr. , Hip-Hop Show—Fri., Apr. ,  p.m. at  a.m.  p.m. to  a.m. If you fi nd yourself clad in the While the Underground is the latest American Apparel couture place for the rockers, the DJs and the Pitchfork Media pack into the rappers ride into the Underground Republik on Sat. for the indiest for an epic night of hip-hop. night at the Junos. Local groups like Featuring local acts like Dragon Fli Remote Kid, Axis of Conversation Empire and Skratch Bastid as well as play at  p.m. and  p.m. with DJ Alie and Deezuz, take a moment Most Serene Republic rocking the out of watching the wanky indie kids Republik at midnight. Th en screw to check out this show. off to go see the Sadies. Wintersleep—Fri., Apr.  at The Sadies—Sat., Apr.  at  midnight a.m. The great Halifax band comes Everything at the Junos tends back to Calgary, coming to the to be a little bit rock ‘n’ roll, even indiest of venues—the Republik— though Calgary is a bit of a cowboy Fri. at midnight. If you want to town. Worry not, square-dancers! stay the night, you can check The Sadies alt-country crooning out local act Jane Vain and the Dark is perfect for the second show at Matter aft erward. Broken City on Sat.

THE NOMINEES

Album of the Year Group of the Year Avril Lavgine—Th e Best Damn Arcade Fire Th ing Blue Rodeo Celine Dion—D’elles Finger Eleven Celine Dion—Taking Chances Hedley Feist—Th e Reminder Kaïn Michael Bublé—Call Me International Album of the Year Irresponsible Bon Jovi—Lost Highway Anne Murray—Duets: Friends Fergie—Th e Dutchess and Legends Josh Groban—Noel Alternative Album of the Year Rhianna—Good Girl Gone Bad Arcade Fire—Neon Bible Timbaland—Timbaland Presents Holy Fuck—LP Shock Value Patrick Watson—Close to Paradise Tegan and Sara—Th e Con For a rundown of all the nominees, head to junoawards.ca. 500 additional tickets for the Sun. Wintersleep—Welcome to the awards ceremony will be made available Sat. Night Sky morning at 10 a.m. at Ticketmaster. 22 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT Second Tree time’s the charm SyringaTree theatrepreview

Ryan Pike Entertainment Editor

ou can never go home “ again.” Sometimes you Y wouldn’t want to bother, as home is oft en a horrible place fi lled with hardships that nobody really wants to go back to. However, it can be a pleasant place, chock full of happy memories that one longs to revisit. Alberta Th eatre Projects now revisits a happy memory as they remount Th e Syringa Tree. Originally debuting at ATP in Oct. , Th e Syringa Tree (pro- nounced “sigh-ring-uh”) tells the tale of Elizabeth Grace, from her courtesy Alberta Theatre Projects childhood in South Africa onward. Meg Roe stars in The Syringa Tree and plays 23 roles. Some actors struggle to play just one. Th e inaugural Calgary performance was well received, to say the least, for ATP’s production of Proof several the right experience for the audi- tion as a whole. We didn’t go out of earning four Betty Mitchell Award years previous and knew she was up ence, the experience you know that our way to approach it diff erently, nominations for excellence in the- to the challenge. they can have. You don’t want to just to keep it fresh, but because it’s atre. Director Vanessa Porteous was “Meg’s a beautiful young actress cheat them. You know what the our second time through and we’re nominated for her direction of the who’s played a lot of what we call potential impact of the show is. a little bit older as people, I think fi rst mounting of Th e Syringa Tree ingénue roles in theatre,” shares You don’t want to cheat them and we’re bringing just a little more and is back to try it all again. Porteous. “She’s played Anne disappoint them but, basically, you experience to this situation.” “Th ere were a lot of things about Frank, Juliet—young girls. She can’t think about that. You have to In creative endeavours, including the play that made me fall in love seems younger than she is on go at the production with courage the theatre, it’s rare that a produc- with it,” says Porteous. “Th e one stage, but I’d seen her at Th eatre and faith and trust, the way you did tion is remounted with much of thing I may say I thought it was an Junction playing what we’d describe the fi rst time.” the initial cast and crew intact. amazing expression of South Africa, as character roles, where she plays Porteous feels the remount will Porteous feels very fortunate to which is such a fascinating country. the wacky secretary or the maid or be improved from the first run- have been brought back by ATP to More profoundly, the play has a very a crazy old lady or a tough-as-nails through in a few subtle ways. Th e revisit such a successful show. emotional impact. It’s very moving. journalist. I’d seen her do those fi rst-time audience member may “I think it’s really exciting to be I think that the relationship between roles, so I knew she had extraordi- not notice the diff erences, but those having a chance to do this produc- the daughter and the father and the nary range as a performer.” who caught the play in  will see tion again and to work with this sense of recalling your childhood Th e return of such a beloved play a few minor tweaks. extraordinary team of people,” and all of its joy and horror, those to the stage of the Martha Cohen “Th e person who’s coming to see she says. “It’s not just Meg; it’s two aspects really touched me.” Th eatre has led to some speculation: the show for the second time, they’ll the designers and the stage manage- Th e fi rst run of Th e Syringa Tree will the remount be anywhere near notice it’s the same set, the same ment team. It’s a rare privilege in the was met with a great deal of critical as good as the original run? When costumes, the same sound cues, theatre to a chance to have another acclaim, particularly singled around asked if the team feels any pressure the same actress and, of course, the go at a project that you felt like you actress Meg Roe. In one of the more to top themselves, Porteous feels same script,” says Porteous. “Th e accomplished quite a bit [with] on challenging roles in Calgary theatre, they have to approach the play the lighting is quite similar, although I the fi rst go around and you’re asked Roe played  characters and won way they did initially. think we’ve had the chance this time back to do it again.” her second Betty Mitchell Award for “Of course you do feel pressure, around to fi nesse the lighting so that her eff orts. Porteous had previously anyone would,” she shares. “It’s it’s richer and deeper. I would say directed Roe to her fi rst award win partly because you want to provide the same thing about the produc- Syringa Tree runs Apr. 1–20 in Martha Cohen Theatre. GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT APRIL 03.08 23 Superman’s bane: lawyers and Kryptonite California court ruling calls ownership of Man of Steel into question acter made . million for the up a very, very large amount of company. The unhappy Siegel money to the Siegels,” McFeely and Shuster soon sued National concluded. for ownership. In , the New Th e case goes to trial in May and Ryan Pike York Supreme Court ruled they is expected to be tied up in courts Entertainment Editor owned the copyright for the less for a while. Superman Returns popular Superboy and granted grossed  million in the U.S. t’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…a them each a , settlement. and the five comic series regu- bunch of lawyers? In a land- The pair sold Superboy back to larly featuring the character sold I mark ruling, a California National and left the company. , copies in Jan. , a fairly judge ruled the heirs of Superman DC Comics filed Superman’s typical month for sales. Th e Siegels co-creator Jerry Siegel have had, trademark in  for a term of  regained the rights to Superboy via since , a valid legal claim to years, according to a  lawsuit a ruling in Apr.  (retroactive the copyright to the fi rst Superman by the co-creators citing the copy- to Nov. ) and subsequently DC story, ’s Action Comics . right act of . Th e copyright was has restricted use of the Superboy The ruling is the latest chapter renewed in  for an additional name in print while the case is in a long story rife with intrigue,  years and again in  for  under appeal. suspense and litigation. years. However, a copyright act Superman appears monthly Created in  by writer Jerry passed in  granted the creators in Action Comics, Superman, Siegel and Canadian artist Joel or their heirs the ability to reclaim Superman Confi dential, Superman/ Shuster, the character remained the copyright anytime from  Batman and Justice League of unpublished until it was sold to to . Th ough he passed away America and the adventures of National Allied Publications (the in , Siegel’s estate fi led to ter- a young Superman can be seen precursor to DC Comics) in  minate the copyright in  and on TV’s Smallville. As yet, little is for  and a contract to write Shuster’s estate fi led to reclaim the known regarding the implications stories for the character at  a copyright following the end of DC’s the Superman case will have on the page. According to comic book current claim in . Th e Siegel Paul Baker/The Gauntlet various properties the character is historian Jamie Coville, a  claim was immediately appealed an interview with Comic Book what the ruling really means in involved in. magazine article stated that the and has been in court ever since. Resources, copyright lawyer terms of proportion. The court Since the Great Depression, entire team producing Superman Last week, California Federal Brendan McFeely clarified the noted that many major elements of Superman has stood for truth, comics made , at the District Court Judge Stephen G. ruling’s implications: the Siegels the Superman stories were created justice and the American way. time—of which , was to be Larson not only ruled the Siegel only regained a share of the copy- well aft er his fi rst appearance. There’s a danger now that he split between the creators—when estate claim was valid, but that it right within the United States, not “It’s very likely that DC and could now be subject to the the licensing alone from the char- was valid retroactively to . In internationally, and it’s unclear Time Warner will have to cough advice of his attorneys. 24 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT Murderous husbands with good intentions MarriedLife tim” wife, the lothario best friend The stunning and far-from- all is Rich, who could alleviate it all guy with a martini in hand and it and the bottle-blond with bright innocent Kay is exactly the kind by just revealing what he knows, if is a comfortable role, though he’s filmreview red lips. of woman a guy would do anything only he weren’t successfully wooing given more to expand on this time Set in the late ’s, Married Life to be with. Before we know it, the and falling for Kay himself. around. Emerging from the Bond Hoang-Mai Hong plays with the complexities of hasty Harry jumps to the terrible Aside from the fact that Cooper movies, he’s somehow re-invented Gauntlet Entertainment love and what it may constitute, but weirdly thoughtful conclusion and Brosnan are probably a decade himself and this role is in the long both in marriage and out of it. that his wife—who he wouldn’t too old for their roles, they are a line of fi lms (likeTh e Matador) o you say you’d like to Pat (Patricia Clarkson) is Harry’s want to put through a divorce and hell of a lot of fun to watch. Cooper, that have rebuff ed the whole Bond murder your wife to run straightforward wife who main- the subsequent loneliness—would who is probably a little typecast veneer to great eff ect. S off with a (much, much tains that love to her is sex. Harry be better off dead. Th is strange turn in those rough corrupt federal The movie keeps you guess- younger) platinum-blonde war is a sentimental creature, though, toys with the audience and starkly agent/spy roles, is surprising as ing and doesn’t under-use its widow? Th is turns out to be the whose solid marriage built on sex contrasts with what up until that the respectable and sensitive hus- talented actors. It hands each rather dark place Harry Allen and companionship is not enough. point was a light period picture of band. His scenes with the sublime of them surprising and thank- fi nds himself in Married Life. It Romantic love is what he wants. He manners. Th e suspense is tautly Clarkson show a marriage still full fully complex characters that are all becomes much more complex confesses this to his best friend, the held by whether or not Harry will of compassion. It’s completely more than the sum of their stereo- than this, of course. Th is smart and smooth, womanizing Rich (Pierce do the deed, and how. Ingeniously, understood why they really don’t types. Overall, Married Life is com- entertaining homage to ’s noir- Brosnan) over martinis and cigars it’s genuinely believable that he want to leave each other, while at pelling entertainment: complex, comedy, with traces of Hitchcock, before he introduces him to his new really has affection for his wife the same time lies are swapped thoughtful and darkly funny. surprises by fl eshing out not only gal, Kay (Rachel McAdams). As and that he really wants to kill her between the two of them with the besotted and confused Harry soon as she walks into the room, for somewhat noble (though still complete nonchalance. Brosnan is (Chris Cooper), but also the “vic- Rich falls hard for her, too. selfi sh) reasons. Caught between it an old hand at playing the smooth Married Life opens Fri., Apr. 4. A barrage of singing, dancing Nazis IlsaNaziLoveCamp and reality is still needed. the Colonel, a Nazi military offi cer affairs featuring intricate song about how the Nazis were really Originally created by local theatre who escaped to Uruguay aft er the and dance numbers with an entire secret Jews to the Colonel’s grimac- theatrepreview company One Yellow Rabbit as a war. Green’s performance is the orchestra, Ilsa instead features two ing shock and dismay. satirical reaction to the then-ongo- most varied. In some parts, he plays musicians, both of whom per- Conversely, listening to the Jordyn Marcellus ing James Keegstra trials, the play a maniacal, over-the-top Nazi who formed the music in the play’s absurdity of some of the Nazis more E&P Editor features a trifecta of comical char- can make a mockery of Hitler and original run. Karl Roth’s violin carnal indulgences are a treat. For acters. Andy Curtis plays Keegstra then suddenly get deadly serious. work is exquisite and heartfelt with example, in the play, Ilsa boils down Even though it’s  years old, as a doofus with a Howdy Doody Even though there are three composer/pianist David Rhymer’s the core of the Nazi’s sex camps Ilsa, Queen of the Nazi Love Camp streak and a self-righteous side a main characters, the actors slip music is evocative when necessary in one simple statement: “I had to is still relevant. While people deride mile long. OYR ensemble member into other roles from time to and light and airy when the comedy whack Hitler off .” the supposedly politically correct Denise Clark plays the Teutonic time to help drive the story along. is needed. Th is little bit of comedy is a nice sphere we currently live in, one look Temptress—the titular Ilsa—to Many of these characters come with As a celebration of One Yellow little indulgence for the audience, at Ilsa now shows that our society pitch perfection. Her German hyper-kinetic physicalities and it’s Rabbit’s th anniversary, there’s a but at times the play switches gears hasn’t really come that far. With accent doesn’t detract from her impressive to see the three sing, lot to consider when watching the suddenly into super-serious mode. the Calgary-based Aryan Guard performance, something that dance and move with such force play. Originally produced for  Aft er nearly  minutes of laughing spreading their hate speech, Ilsa’s can’t always be said for some the- over the play’s  minutes. in , it still retains its original at the incredibly stupid shtick of message about the horrifying and atre companies. Lastly is Michael Ilsa is a musical and where time period and set. Tires litter the two Nazis and a Holocaust-denier, disturbed nature of denying history Green, co-artistic director of OYR as most musicals are extravagant stage, and the only major set piece the play suddenly gets sombre with is a bed frame with a truck’s rusting the final musical number “Sun hood attached. Th e play isn’t a tech- Goes Down Over Auschwitz.” It’s nical tour de force with expansive a gut-punch par excellence, one that sets and gorgeous pyrotechnics. makes the audience member sud- Th e more intimate setting of the denly realize that while it’s fun to Big Secret Th eatre and the simple laugh at the incredible ignorance set help to drive home the play’s of Keegstra, what he was denying point: that it’s impossible to deny in the fi rst place was an absolute a well documented event without atrocity. looking like a foolish dunce. Even though Ilsa, Queen of the Throughout the play, there is Nazi Love Camp is a comedy, the an interplay between Keegstra’s deeper message is still very much anti-Semitic rants to his class and out there. Th is isn’t some play that the disregard given to him by the attempts to make you think about community. In the beginning, he its themes. When you have people comes across as a lovable crack- still spouting the same uninformed pot—who then opens his mouth tripe even  years later, you don’t about the Jews and loses any real need to couch your theme in a sympathy. This is contrasted to subtle manner. the Colonel and Ilsa, who are very much proud of their work in Nazi Ilsa, Queen of the Nazi Love Camp runs at Germany. It shows how deluded Big Secret Theatre until Sun., Apr. 12. Keegstra really is when he talks Tickets at Ticketmaster. GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT APRIL 03.08 25 spunALBUM REVIEWS

oes anyone actually know the title of the Baha Men’s follow-up to Move D it Like This—known best for “Who Let the Dogs Out”? Not really. They had one huge hit single and then faded into obscurity. While the Odd Couple may not have the single great track that freshman album St. Elsewhere had, it’s overall a much better album. Which means there won’t be any fading into obscurity for the two American neo-soulsters known as Gnarls Barkley anytime soon. Overall, the songs on the Odd Couple are much snappier, with producer Danger Mouse’s instrumentation reaching new levels of sonic lushness. With jungle drumming and birds chirping in the background, “Open Book” is evocative of Tarzan swinging on vines, pining for his Jane. Moving away from jungle rhythms to a song for the geeks, second single “Whatever” channels the basement-dwelling Dungeons and Dragon kid’s nerd-longing for a normal life. More than anything, the Odd Couple proves that St. Elsewhere wasn’t a one-off success. There’s nothing that really blows the listener away, which is the closest thing to a criticism about the record. Conversely, the tracks are overall much more consistent and fun. Danger Mouse provides a wide variety of instrumenta- Gnarls Barkley tion and singer Cee-Lo Green’s voice helps keep a cohesive soul fl avour to the The Odd Couple tracks. While their two wildly differing styles may be a bit strange, this couple (Atlantic Records) has now fi nally proven that they can keep making the highest quality albums with enough diversity for everyone. ..Jordyn Marcellus

We’ve all wondered at some point what Tom across the spectrum. From the first note, Waits would sound like if he was born 30 years one can tell the album is going to be a later and wore a viking helmet. We can fi nally different experience with strange noises, fi nd out with Rabbit Habits. Two years after gypsy chanting and vocalist Honus Honus’ their sophomore album, Six Demon Bag, Man gruff voice. The band incorporates different Man return with another collection feet-tap- instruments throughout and every track on ping, fi st-fi ghting gypsy-pop. the album is a new concept to wrap your Known for wearing war paint and playing head around. rambunctious, over-the-top live shows, the With bizarre lyrics such as “you look boda- songs contained on this CD make you feel like cious/ in a guillotine/ when you look right there’s a bunch of drunk guys performing in through me, girl/ it sucks me down the street,” front of you. Not to say the music is sloppy, it’s at times diffi cult to understand just what Man Man but the recordings have an energy usually only they are trying to convey. That’s fi ne. Who Rabbit Habits found at a dance party or a punk show. really listens to lyrics when they’re jitterbug- (Anti- Records) Ranging from deranged rock to gypsy folk ging the night away? to American swing, Rabbit Habits delivers ..Jordan Fritz

Midnight Boom is like the incredibly hot tracks like “Alphabet Pony” feature dark and guy or girl that you just can’t quite get a fuzzy guitars with a drum beat straight from read on—it’s coy, a little sexy but with just a playground clapping games. hint of guile to it. While the Kills have never The Kills were started as a reaction to the been about creating an all-out sonic boom pomp and pretension of big-name bands meant to blow their listeners away, this is the and their major labels. While Midnight closest thing to it. Boom is still very much a Kills album with The Kills have been most famous for their sharp guitar riffs and V.V. Mosshart’s smoke- two-person minimalist blues-infused rock fi lled crooning, this album can only lead to sound that still remains a centrepiece on the ruin for the act, as they have slowly begun album. Instead of phoning it in, they try to to take part in the things they once hated. introduce new elements—like the marching Still, Midnight Boom clocks in at a tight 34 The Kills band drumline of lead single “Cheap and minutes with enough good tracks to cover the Midnight Boom Cheerful”—definitely a new indulgence price of admission—something that still can’t (Domino Records) for a band that continues to use a drum be said for a majority of major-label machine for most of their songs. While it’s records. still very much a blues-rock-oriented album, ..Jordyn Marcellus

In the two years since the release of their debut 35-minute duration breezes by and Dearly album, You Are the Jaguar, Dearly Beloved Beloved seem to be in a hurry to get some- has been touring and preparing their follow- where, but can’t seem to fi gure out where that up. While not suffering from the dreaded actually is. As it stands, many of the song titles sophomore slump, the strangely-titled are much cleverer than the songs themselves, RepoRepoRepo doesn’t have much to say. with smirk-inducing “Slow is the New Fast” From opener “Candy Coated,” Dearly Beloved ends up being one of many analogous songs. unabashedly shows off all their strengths and None of the songs are bad by any stretch but weaknesses. The majority of songs on the none stand out from the others. album are all fast, energetic and short. The Generally catchy and fun, Dearly Beloved’s musical arrangements are clean and clear, latest is the musical equivalent of cotton candy; allowing the band to effectively showcase their it’s enjoyable and runs its course fairly quickly, Dearly Beloved vocals. This poses a problem, as the music but leaves the listener wishing for something RepoRepoRepo is toe-tapping fun, but the lyrics themselves more fi lling. (Warner) are devoid of meaning. The album’s scant, ..Ryan Pike

26 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET Editor: Jordyn Marcellus—[email protected] escapes & pursuits THEATRE CONCERTS Sammy Bananas, Krames, Skratch THINGS TO DO Bastid and Fordinho hit up the HiFi 1 Junofest. It’s the time where all the little indie Beauty and the Beast invites you To celebrate Randy Gibson’s art Club Sat., Apr. 5 at 8 p.m. to put on kids come out of the woodworks to check out to be their guests in the Max Bell gallery opening, Blissed, Tetrix set. $10 at the door. their newly favourite acts. The festival is all Theatre Apr. 3–20 at 8 p.m. Tickets and Gary Powers play a set in the around town this weekend with single tickets are $43–$56 at Ticketmaster. Marquee Room Thu., Apr. 3 at 8 p.m. The Cult play their fi rst of two shows Tickets at the door. at Flames Central Fri., Apr. 4 at priced $10 a show, with wristbands for $30. Ilsa, Queen of the Nazi Love Camp 8 p.m. Tickets are $42.50–$59.50 at 2. Watch the Juno Awards. Well, everyone and dances into the Big Secret Theatre Ill Scarlett and Faber Drive slink Ticketmsater. their mother is going ga-ga over all the big Apr. 3–6 at 8 p.m. with a 2 p.m. into the Back Alley to rock Thu., name celebrities coming to our fair city. Check show on Sun. Theatre dark on Mon. Apr. 3 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $15 Eve Hell and the Razors, Lorrie it out on CTV Sun., Apr. 6. Tickets are $14–$30 at Ticketmaster. at Sloth Records, Megatunes and Matheson, Cam Penner and Matt 3. Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of war. Even Ticketmaster. Masters are going to be a little bit though it’s at the Pumphouse, which is a Alberta Theatre Projects’ the Syringa country and a little bit rock ‘n’ roll in million miles away, this play features tons of Tree roots itself in the Martha Cohen The Heather Blush Trio and Kris the Palomino Smokehouse Sat., awesome stage combat. Theatre Apr. 3–13 at 7:30 p.m. with Ellestad hit up That Empty Space Apr. 5 at 8 p.m. $10 at the door. 4. Act Like a T-Rex Day. Our school sports a 2 p.m. show on Sun. Theatre dark Fri., Apr. 4 from 3–6 p.m. Free. on Mon. Tickets are $22.50–$78 at Anne Loree, Kara Keith, LJX and teams are called the Dinos. Why not act like Ticketmaster. Juno nominees Keith and Renee, the Consonant C participate as part the mightiest dino in their honour Fri., Apr. 4? Samantha Schultz and Justin of the Junofest festivities in the Stage combat is awesome. Cry Rutledge play with non-Juno Marquee Room Sat., Apr. 5 at 9 p.m. Havoc, a play combining an award- nominee Luke Doucet at the $10 at the door. SPORTS MISC. winning fi ght choreographer and 10 Palomino Smokehouse Fri., Apr. 4 at People often think that musicians This all-day event on Fri., Apr. 4 will short plays from local playwrights, 8 p.m. $10 at the door. The Songwriters Circle in the Jack and hockey players are too different change your life. That’s right, Apr. 4 will be even more awesome. Tickets Singer Concert Hall Sun. at noon is a from one another. Well, the 2008 is Act Like a T-Rex Day. You know are $15 regularly priced, $10 for Key to the City, Michael Bernard rare opportunity for fans to see these Juno Cup will be simple proof about what to do. students at the door. Show runs Fitzgerald, Lions Tigers and Bears talented songwriters intimately. how wrong that misconception is. from Apr. 10–12 in the Pumphouse and the Superfantastics play in the Tickets are $35–$40 at Ticketmaster. Puck drops in the Stampede Corral Dance the Apr. sadness away at the Theatre. Marquee Room Fri., Apr. 4 at 9 p.m. at 7:30 p.m. on Fri, Apr. 15. Tickets Den with the Friday Night Dance $10 at the door. The Cult play their last of two shows are $15 at Ticketmaster. Party Fri., Apr. 5 starting at 7 p.m. Check out Loose Moose’s Gorilla at Flames Central Fri., Apr. 4 at Free. Theatre at the Crossroads Market Alannah Myles takes to the Deerfoot 8 p.m. Tickets are $42.50–$59.50 at Mixed Martial Arts is all the rage, Sat., Apr. 5 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $12 Inn & Casino’s stage Fri., Apr. 4 at Ticketmaster. so fans of MMA fi ghting can check Charlie Wilson’s War plays as part at the door, $10 for students. 9 p.m. Tickets are $42 at out Legacy Fighting Championship of the Cinemania series Mon., Apr. 7 Ticketmaster. Imagine having hands made of Three—Punishment Sat., Apr. 5 at at 6:30 and 9:00 p.m. in ST 148. Free Loose Moose performs the Ultimate wood. It’s be hard to play music, 7:30 p.m. at the Victoria Pavillion in with student I.D. Improv Championship, an evening There’s also Junofest going on at so you wonder how Woodhands Stampede Park. Tickets are $25–$70 of stand-up comedy, improv and Broken City Fri. and Sat. night at could put on a show at the Gateway for seats in the stands, while fl oor Check out the Electro-Rama theatre sports every Mon. at 9 p.m. 8 p.m., but it’s secret mystery. Could on SAIT campus. Tickets are $8 at seating will set you back $70–$150. multimedia festival Sat., Apr. 5 from in Broken City. Cover at the door. be cool. $10 at the door. Ticketmaster and at the door. Tickets are available at Ticketmaster. 2–9 p.m. at the Soda. Free for all.

28 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET FEATURES The Mighty

Wapta photos and story by Chris Pedersen

s with many great adventures, this one was born Th e traverse is mentally rough. Potential skiers must to guide skiers in the right direction, but you can hire in a corner booth, under dimmed lights, in a be prepared for long, tough days of skiing. Almost the guides to lead you over the traverse for about ,. local Irish pub. Many ideas are oft en formed entire length of the trip, our group was surrounded by For a knowledgeable backcountry skier, or a poor when there is beer in hand, but almost as many nothing but snow and rock. Th e snow is windblown student, the guides aren’t worth the expense. fail to become reality. It takes two people who and very hard, making skiing diffi cult. Many days desire adventure for ideas to be realized. Mike during the trip involved snowy conditions causing Day one: the best outhouse in the world Lemmon and I were two such people. reduced visibility and navigation problems. Our adventure began in Canmore where we woke One night, we downed two or three pints of Because of the scenery and adventure, the trip is up at : a.m. to annoying sound of alarm tones Grasshopper and discussed recent ski adven- extremely popular and has been mentioned in Explore violating our ears. Mike slammed his hand down on tures. Aft er recounting glorious stories from Magazine as one of the top  trips to complete in the snooze button several times in an eff ort to stop Apast trips, the topic of the Wapta territory was brought Canada. Th e glacier route that our group skied is the pain. Aft er  more minutes of restless sleep, we up. Th e Wapta Traverse draws in many skiers for its roughly  kilometres long and encompasses the woke up and set off for our Wapta adventure. challenging and unforgiving environment as well as Wapta and Waputik Glaciers. Along the way, you We arrived at the Peyto Lake trailhead around its potential for pure back-country bliss. We decided, can stay at four huts (Peyto, Balfour, Scott Duncan  a.m., took some quick pictures, forced down a quick less than two hours later, that we needed to ski the and Bow) or set up your own campsite. Th e huts are drink and fi nally started skiing. Th e fi rst part of the Wapta this year. I immediately thought we needed run by the Alpine Club of Canada, and skiers must ski across the lake became a monotonous, wind-rav- a third person, so I called the fi rst person to come to book them in advance. Th e coordinates for the huts ished race towards the sun, which was shining on the my mind, Mitch Dion, an experienced snowboarder are provided by the club and skiers use maps and a far side of the lake. Soon aft er crossing the lake, we and backcountry afi cionado with a penchant for all compass to fi nd them. Th e majority of skiers rely on fought a river, skied across some rocks and came to things lightweight. He agreed to come along and we their own knowledge to make their way across the the base of the moraine that would be our path to the picked dates. Wapta. Wapta Glacier. Once the lake is crossed, the path to Th e classic Wapta Traverse is a backcountry ski tour People can start at one of either Peyto, Bow or the glacier veers right and skiers must climb a long that begins at Peyto Lake one hour past Banff , along Sherbrooke Lakes and can stay at one of three huts snow slope. Th ankfully, Mike provided comic relief the Ice Fields Parkway. Th e Wapta involves skiing on the fi rst day. Many skiers will stay in only one hut doing a face plant into a snow bank. Better to get the across a glacier and has numerous uphill sections, and do day trips from the hut, while others will make falls out of the way early. crevasses, falling ice, snowy conditions and icy slopes. their own campsite on the glacier. Th ere are no signs Aft er the snow slope, the skis came off and we started GAUNTLET FEATURES APRIL 03.08 29

Mike Lemmon munching on an apple while lounging on the communal bunks in the Peyto hut.

 minutes of climbing a steep, icy rock slope. Th is is porch watching them, holding warm mugs of Tang the lower part of Peyto Peak and brings travellers to made for a perfect end to a tiring day. a long rocky ridge. Aft er coming over the ridge, I set down my pack, grabbed a Snickers and some water Day two: slogging over crevasse fi elds and sat down. I was exhausted; my legs were burning We woke to cloudy weather and a white-shrouded and my lungs felt like exploding. Th en I looked up and glacier on the second day. Th is made our travel more saw the Wapta Glacier. It was massive and beautiful, dangerous: heading in the wrong direction and falling with mountains rising out of it everywhere. into crevasses or off a rock cliff were all potential dangers. Aft er a lengthy rest, we reattached our skis and snow- Right in front of the hut, the glacier rises substantially, ploughed down icy slopes on the other side of the ridge making for an exciting fi rst hour of slogging uphill, to the toe of the glacier. We refreshed ourselves on rope against the wind and snow blowing in our faces. techniques before stepping onto the glacier. Th e rope Glacier travel on the Wapta requires plenty of mental is connected to each skier—one person is tied into the acuteness because of the hours of tedious, slow, and middle of the rope and two people to each end—and cautious travel. Crevasses are always a concern. Th ey is used to pull people out of crevasses. When a person can be partly covered in snow, making them nearly falls into a crevasse, the others on the rope hold the invisible. Navigation is easy when there is clear vis- fall, then use snow stakes as anchors and set up a pulley ibility, as there are plenty of landmarks. In whiteout system to haul the skier out. Aft er our short refresher, conditions navigation gets tricky. Th at day, we could it took two more hours of monotonous, slow skiing still slightly see prominent landmarks. without crevasses to reach the hut. Our hard day was When you are skiing on the glacier, you always rewarded when we arrived at the Peyto Hut. Th e hut have to understand where the rope is and note how has a fantastic view, as it sits high above the glacier. fast the others are moving while watching the weather Th e Alpine Club-maintained huts along the Wapta and looking for crevasses. Aft er several hours of slow Ski Tour are one-room buildings. On the left side of moving, the group came to the pass between Mount the room is one long bunk bed, with two levels. Each Gordon and Mount Olive. From here, it was a quick hut can sleep – people. Th e right side of the hut ski down through crevasses and rocks to the Balfour has a kitchen counter that contains propane stoves, Hut. Th at night, the only night on our trip that we sinks, cupboards with dishes, shelves for supplies and had to share a hut, we roomed with four other people. all the utensils and cooking equipment a group needs. A sense of camaraderie develops when you share an Beyond the bed and the kitchen, the huts are sparsely enclosed space with strangers; food and stories are decorated with a six-person dinner table, benches and freely swapped. Stories about New Zealand bike trips, propane lanterns. Visitors can enjoy the view through and previous trips to the Wapta were told with fi erce windows on all sides. excitement. Aft er pleasant conversation and even hot- Th e view from the Peyto hut was awe-inspiring. Th ere ter Tang, we all went to bed with the tunes of an iPod were mountains in every direction. Th at day, the sun drift ing through the hut. was playing among the peaks creating amazing colours in the sky. Our group decided that we had found the Day three: Balfour Pass and Burt Reynolds’ hair most outstanding outhouse in the world—as you are Described by guide books and Wapta veterans as the sitting on the toilet, a perfectly placed window frames hardest and most dangerous part of the trip, Balfour the colours of the sky and the beauty of the mountains. Pass was challenging for our group. Th e route continues Night brought millions of stars, and standing on the Continued on page 30

A sunset view from the porch of the Peyto hut. 30 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET FEATURES

The Peyto hut under the blanket of darkness.

uphill the whole way until the pass had been crusty and windblown, not is reached. For two hours, the trail allowing for nice turns. It was time to took us through a narrow pass under make up for that. Once the fun was hanging ice chunks called seracs and over, we slogged for another hour and against  kilometre per hour winds. a half through fl at glacier and another With every step, I felt like I was going crevasse fi eld, with thoughts of tea to be pushed backwards down the and chocolate fi lling our heads. slope and several times the wind Arriving at Scott Duncan hut, we almost blew our group back down were welcomed by a risqué centre- the glacier. Travellers cannot stop on fold of Burt Reynolds peering at this part of the trail, in case of serac us over the table at the back of the collapses, thus making the physical hut—creepy and hilarious, though expenditure enormous. Every step mostly creepy. Our last night in a took a Herculean eff ort. Wapta hut was pleasant, with the Aft er the perilous beginning leg small hut warming up quickly. We of day three, we hit the better half drank huge amounts of Earl Grey of Balfour Pass. Getting to the top and hot Tang and ate a supper of of the pass was fantastic. Th e wind rice and chocolate. We went to bed died down and the sun came out. with Burt Reynolds and all his hair Th e views were postcard-worthy with standing watch over us, protect- mountains in every direction. Th e ing us from whatever lurks on the slopes in front of us were crevasse- glacier. free and perfect for skiing. For the next hour we skied the glorious snow Day four: snowed-in with Tori under the pass. During the previous Praver two days on the traverse, the snow I woke up on the fourth morning

The most beautiful outhouse in the world, with an even better view from the john. GAUNTLET FEATURES APRIL 03.08 31

with a sense of depression. We were heading back to reality and hours, while worrying about the weather closing in. When into a tree. One-by-one, the group emerged from the forest to away from the mountains. Even worse, the hut was snowed-in. we got off the glacier, the trouble was not over. For the next meet Mike’s parents only three hours aft er our stated time of Th rough the hut’s windows, we saw only a blanket of white kilometre, we had to travel under a big slope of snow which arrival—not bad for being snowed in, skiing perilous slopes and were worried that we might have to spend an extra night could avalanche at any moment. Th ere had been reports of this and through an icy trail dodging trees. Burt Reynolds, Tori in the hut waiting for the weather to clear. Our parents and slope avalanching in the past and we were tense as we skied Praver and ski bums everywhere would be proud. Mitch’s wife would soon become worried. We packed up off the glacier and into the trees. I had never been so happy and readied for a quick departure should the weather clear. to see trees. Th e feeling didn’t last long. Th e journey through Th e Wapta Traverse is a trip that should be done at least once, Aft er we took a food inventory, we waited. And waited. Burt the trees down to the trail was perilous and had bone-break- if not more, in a lifetime. I left many undiscovered elements watched over us as we played cards and meticulously pored ing potential. I snow ploughed as much as a four-year-old of Wapta. Th ere is an ice cave to see, signifi cant mountains to over the  Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. For the next learning on the slopes of Lake Louise and Sunshine. climb and great ski runs to conquer. Wapta holds unlimited several hours, our routine involved playing cards, commenting We skied a winding path, side stepped down an icy slope knowledge for a person and even the weather teaches lessons on the hotness of Tori Praver and looking out the window and negotiated a steep gully before we fi nally made it to the freely. From getting snowed-in to seeing a group of skiers move every  minutes, hoping that an opening would fi nally come. trail. Th en Mike lost a ski. He took a head-over-heels tumble blindly through crevasses, the Wapta weather can be frightful During one of our routine glances, miraculously, part of the and face planted in the snow, much like his face-fi rst dive on and dangerous. I now feel, however, that I am better prepared to glacier became visible. Now visible, we could see fi ve skiers day one. But as Mike was attempting to reattach his skis to deal with various weather conditions in the future. Never before skiing right through the middle of a crevasse fi eld. Th ey were his feet this time, he let one go and it took a ride down the had I experienced so much white in one place and now, not even oblivious to the danger and lucky that the weather cleared gully. Luckily, the ski nose mimicked its owner and dived three weeks aft er my fi rst journey, I’m already planning to head when it did. Mitch, Mike and I debated about how long the into a snow bank, preventing a long walk for Mike. We snow- back and learn more from the Wapta Traverse. weather would be clear, and we decided to ski out. ploughed through the trees down the rest of the trail, where Aft er we exchanged pleasantries with our fellow travellers one slip could easily break a leg. Mitch took an accidental once we caught up, we skied without stopping for the next two one hour detour, and I nearly missed bashing my right leg Check out gauntlet.ucalgary.ca for more of Chris Pedersen’s Wapta photos. 32 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET three lines free This week is going to be a strange one To the fuckers who used the term Blood on the moon, patterns running in the land of the TLFs. Not only will it ‘sarging’ in last week’s TLFs. I hope across the floor. A musical inside witness the return of the TLF cartoons, you sit alone at home masturbating a movie inside a dream, guess you it will also be the fi rst time that the for all eternity. can believe anything. Everything is TLFs showcase the new form of the - Your Pick Up Artist Bullshit Pisses changed, everything is still the same. TLF photo. Just a heads up, I will only me Off It’s all a part of the game. be printing photos this week, so don’t - Todd Rundgren bother sending them in for next week. Just keep writing them down, so bring Tier 2: your TLF to MSC 319 or e-mail them Everybody’s runnin’ and no one to [email protected]. All makes a move. Everyone’s a winner submissions must include your name, and nothing left to lose. There’s a little I.D. number, phone number and signa- yellow idol to the north of Katmandu. ture. Submissions judged to be sexist, Nobody told me there’d be days like racist, homophobic or attacks of a per- [Can’t knock the hustle. these—strange days indeed—most sonal nature will not be printed. And - PlayEd] peculiar, mama. neither will phone numbers. - John Lennon To Rambo in GLGY, I have a huge crush “Oh God it was pathetic; I hope it on you, if we were a convergent plate Pro choice? Pro life? How about pro gets better, hope it gets better, I hope boundary our thrusting would cause shut the fuck up??? Seriously, who it gets better.” orogeny! has enough free time to sit around - www.ChrisGheran.com - Back row observer. and argue about abortion anyways? I have studying and assignments and To the girl in Xue’s PHYS223 noon work to do. lecture who decided to talk at full vol- - Please shut the fuck up ume on her cell phone in Friday’s class: you’re a douchebag. I hope you break your phone and fail physics.

Cheerleader? Cheer-Coach? Want to be? - [email protected]

God is dead. - Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. [But they are such well-reasoned [These lyrics scream of hurt. Like get- - God arguments. ting a nipple twist. - ConsiderEd] - ScreechEd] I’m going to take off my bra, tell me if I look like I’m not wearing my bra. Volunteer for C.U.S. “Spicing Up Fight no credit: Spaces” Give up some time this week- pay tuition with a wheelbarrow full of Clearly the university has no problem end, Apr. 4–6 to renovate a home and rolled coins. with graphic images displayed on bill- change a family’s life forever! For more - disgruntled boards. So coming soon, my gigantic info contact [email protected] or public pornography display. [email protected]. Minor Threat is hardcore, - Change starts with one action! Salad Days is the best song, Out of that genre. LOOKING FOR A DEPENDABLE - Fritz ROOMATE? Graduating Bcomm Female looking to rent a room in downtown/ “Come to me all who are weary and sunnyside/hillhurst/sait/NE starting May heavy-ladened and I will give you 1. Responsible, clean, and energetic, rest.” needing a home to share! Please con- - Jesus tact if interested. [But they kicked them off campus. Fact - [email protected] I’m a robot. I’ve got beep bop boop check your submissions please. in my brain. - TresspassEd] Scatological Eschatology: Life Always Ends Up Shit. Have a nice day. 2002 BMW M3 For Sale With DINAN I retire; the unequivocal lord of the TLFs. Upgrades. Deal for U of C Students Waste four years of your life and maybe To the brunette at the back of ANTH e-mail [email protected]. you could challenge me. I leave only a 201: You know the one with 400 stu- myth of who I was; whether I stood for dents. What the fuck are you talking Fact: Waitresses must tip ‘the house’ on anything or sat for everything. about? Fight Me! 5-6% of billed amount, not the tipped - thedrewskii - Blonde Boy amount. If customers do not tip more than this amount, their waitress is actu- These exams are too damn late. ally paying to serve them. Fact: In our society, it is standard/polite to tip 15% I think I got called at some point ‘Art (the G.S.T. tripled). Fact: Waitresses director’. make minimum wage, and are students who happily serve you. Fiction: Most Do you want to read this book? It’s customers know this. well bounded.

Washboard I came last Thu. to wash And it’s got nudity on the cover. my thong on ur abs but instead found nothing but an empty shaker cup and What kind of nudity? a naked guy with a piss boner. sincerely, Illustrated breasts. - D.P. Oh, sounds like that book’s not going In Vegas for $1.5 billion they built one of to be read. the greatest hotel-casinos in the world with +3500 luxury rooms. All we get is Protest tuition costs. Not tuition pay- a library with no books. Fuck. [The thinking man of the TLFs. You ment methods. - whysoshitty will be missed, glorious content - Student apathy ftw provider. Can’t use your credit card? - SaddenEd] D.L.: It is very important to generate a CRY ME A RIVER! Riot only if the UofC good attitude, a good heart, as much as doesn’t show us the money saved. Every protein shake you take, Every possible. From this, happiness in both - wo3 de ming2zi jiao4 An1Da2 bench rep you make, every single the short term and the long term for day I’ll be watching you. I love you both yourself and others will come. Washboard #5. Yours truly, - PissBoner #13

Prof. M. Giovanni: You have very gneiss slaty cleavage let’s megathrust? - GLGY 209 enthusiast.

[Riot! Ahhhhhhhh, call the police! Jordyn: - ScarEd] Are you the Anti-Feist? - Leslie Happy B-day Springer,my mushroom bruise looks great on your face. All anuses are fundamentally similar. Sincerely, [I see no changes. - MAC-DON-ALD My anus is special. - FreEd] 32 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET three lines free This week is going to be a strange one To the fuckers who used the term Blood on the moon, patterns running in the land of the TLFs. Not only will it ‘sarging’ in last week’s TLFs. I hope across the floor. A musical inside witness the return of the TLF cartoons, you sit alone at home masturbating a movie inside a dream, guess you it will also be the fi rst time that the for all eternity. can believe anything. Everything is TLFs showcase the new form of the - Your Pick Up Artist Bullshit Pisses changed, everything is still the same. TLF photo. Just a heads up, I will only me Off It’s all a part of the game. be printing photos this week, so don’t - Todd Rundgren bother sending them in for next week. Just keep writing them down, so bring Tier 2: your TLF to MSC 319 or e-mail them Everybody’s runnin’ and no one to [email protected]. All makes a move. Everyone’s a winner submissions must include your name, and nothing left to lose. There’s a little I.D. number, phone number and signa- yellow idol to the north of Katmandu. ture. Submissions judged to be sexist, Nobody told me there’d be days like racist, homophobic or attacks of a per- [Can’t knock the hustle. these—strange days indeed—most sonal nature will not be printed. And - PlayEd] peculiar, mama. neither will phone numbers. - John Lennon To Rambo in GLGY, I have a huge crush “Oh God it was pathetic; I hope it on you, if we were a convergent plate Pro choice? Pro life? How about pro gets better, hope it gets better, I hope boundary our thrusting would cause shut the fuck up??? Seriously, who it gets better.” orogeny! has enough free time to sit around - www.ChrisGheran.com - Back row observer. and argue about abortion anyways? I have studying and assignments and To the girl in Xue’s PHYS223 noon work to do. lecture who decided to talk at full vol- - Please shut the fuck up ume on her cell phone in Friday’s class: you’re a douchebag. I hope you break your phone and fail physics.

Cheerleader? Cheer-Coach? Want to be? - [email protected]

God is dead. - Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. [But they are such well-reasoned [These lyrics scream of hurt. Like get- - God arguments. ting a nipple twist. - ConsiderEd] - ScreechEd] I’m going to take off my bra, tell me if I look like I’m not wearing my bra. Volunteer for C.U.S. “Spicing Up Fight no credit: Spaces” Give up some time this week- pay tuition with a wheelbarrow full of Clearly the university has no problem end, Apr. 4–6 to renovate a home and rolled coins. with graphic images displayed on bill- change a family’s life forever! For more - disgruntled boards. So coming soon, my gigantic info contact [email protected] or public pornography display. [email protected]. If you think you’re going to get raped, - Change starts with one action! blow the whistle. If you think you’re going to perform rape, don’t. LOOKING FOR A DEPENDABLE - R. Pike ROOMATE? Graduating Bcomm Female looking to rent a room in downtown/ “Come to me all who are weary and sunnyside/hillhurst/sait/NE starting May heavy-ladened and I will give you 1. Responsible, clean, and energetic, rest.” needing a home to share! Please con- - Jesus tact if interested. [But they kicked them off campus. Fact - [email protected] I’m a robot. I’ve got beep bop boop check your submissions please. in my brain. - TresspassEd] Scatological Eschatology: Life Always Ends Up Shit. Have a nice day. 2002 BMW M3 For Sale With DINAN I retire; the unequivocal lord of the TLFs. Upgrades. Deal for U of C Students Waste four years of your life and maybe To the brunette at the back of ANTH e-mail [email protected]. you could challenge me. I leave only a 201: You know the one with 400 stu- myth of who I was; whether I stood for dents. What the fuck are you talking Fact: Waitresses must tip ‘the house’ on anything or sat for everything. about? Fight Me! 5-6% of billed amount, not the tipped - thedrewskii - Blonde Boy amount. If customers do not tip more than this amount, their waitress is actu- These exams are too damn late. ally paying to serve them. Fact: In our society, it is standard/polite to tip 15% I think I got called at some point ‘Art (the G.S.T. tripled). Fact: Waitresses director’. make minimum wage, and are students who happily serve you.Fiction: Most Do you want to read this book? It’s customers know this. well bounded.

Washboard I came last Thu. to wash And it’s got nudity on the cover. my thong on ur abs but instead found nothing but an empty shaker cup and What kind of nudity? a naked guy with a piss boner. sincerely, Illustrated breasts. - D.P. Oh, sounds like that book’s not going In Vegas for $1.5 billion they built one of to be read. the greatest hotel-casinos in the world with +3500 luxury rooms. All we get is Protest tuition costs. Not tuition pay- a library with no books. Fuck. [The thinking man of the TLFs. You ment methods. - whysoshitty will be missed, glorious content - Student apathy ftw provider. Can’t use your credit card? - SaddenEd] D.L.: It is very important to generate a CRY ME A RIVER! Riot only if the UofC good attitude, a good heart, as much as doesn’t show us the money saved. Every protein shake you take, Every possible. From this, happiness in both - wo3 de ming2zi jiao4 An1Da2 bench rep you make, every single the short term and the long term for day I’ll be watching you. I love you both yourself and others will come. Washboard #5. Yours truly, - PissBoner #13

Prof. M. Giovanni: You have very gneiss slaty cleavage let’s megathrust? - GLGY 209 enthusiast.

[Riot! Ahhhhhhhh, call the police! Jordyn: - ScarEd] Are you the Anti-Feist? - Leslie Happy B-day Springer,my mushroom bruise looks great on your face. All anuses are fundamentally similar. Sincerely, [I see no changes. - MAC-DON-ALD My anus is special. - FreEd] 34 APRIL 03.08 GAUNTLET comics Terminal Hipster

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