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Volume 27 Wilfrid Laurier Number 20 University, Waterloo Thursday, February 12, 1987 Sorbara visits WLU to check on WLUSU elections not Arts Centre and discuss issues so frightening after all By Erika Sajnovic laboratories and possible reduction visa students, Sorbara replied, By Eric Beyer Mitchell and Shawn Giilck, the in the number of core courses in the "There is no new policy because we two executive candidates running Gregory Sorbara, Ontario Bachelor of Business Administration have nothing that we are proud of Dave Bussiere won the presi- under the OSMP banner, finished Minister of Colleges and progam. yet." dential vote in the Annual General well behind the respective winners. | Universities, visited Wilfrid Laurier "We wanted to give him (Sorbara) Election on February 5 fighting off For theposition of Vice-President: j Sorbara to a University on Tuesday to view something in writing for his files," wishes enforce policy a strong challenge Bryan University Affairs, Giilck finished which from progress on construction of the John said Burchill. will work for all situations Leblanc. more than 300 votes behind the involving B. Aird Arts Centre. Sorbara later Burchill feels that if Sorbara visa students, whose tui- "Obviously, I pleased. We winner, Dave McMutfm. There tion fees am listened to faculty and student con- knows what is going on at WLU, he are much higher than those hadan excellent turnout," Bussiere for other cerns about underfunding, Ontario will be able to understand the students. said Monday. The issue of the Student Assistance Program specific problems this university has. Ontario Maryann Sharpe and Paul Federation of (OFS) (OSAP) review within his depart- Sorbara was questioned as to the Students and Mitchell and fourth, their relationship finished third ment, and other student concerns. effectiveness of the OSAP review with the office of respectively. the When meeting with faculty and concerning pay-backs by students Minister came up. Contrasting recent WLUSU student representatives in the and amounts allotted to students. "I have a great relationship with elections, there was a good voter Library Board room, Sorbara stres- "(OSAP) can be successful if it is a the President of OFS, " said turnout with 1456total ballots cast sed that, "Every institution feels national enterprise with the Federal Sorbara. — 34% of the students eligible to aggrieved to some extent, that is a government ... (I'm) nervous with Sorbara also clarified that he is vote. common denominator ... (we) must anything to do with the feds," not working for either the students In the referendum on whether extend the vision to broaden so- claimed Sorbara. or the university administrations, or not the Pill should be a part of ciety's abilities to deal with univer- Because the federal government but that he works for the province the drug plan the 'yes' side, with sities' needs." has let the provinces handle edu- and all three elements must exist for 763 votes, received more votes Sorbara spoke at length about the cation, Ottawa doesn't feel the need a successful department. than the W side. However, the fact that each university was an to assist the provinces, according to Before meeting with students and 'yes* side did not get the necessary individual case and cannot be looked Sorbara. reporters, Sorbara had a meeting two-thirds ofthe vote to put the Pill Dave Bussiere at as a block. Sorbara also touched on the topic with WLU President Dr. John Weir. on the drug plan. Jeff Burchill, WLUSU Vice- of more and more technological After the half-hour meeting, the two Leblanc, last Monday, offered President of University Affairs, pre- courses within the university struc- proceded to the construction site of his analysis of the results: "I prefer sented a brief outline of some ture in general. the new Arts and Science Building. this result rather than having instances of underfunding in de- "The most challenging respon- Accompanying them was Herb Epp, Maryann (Sharpe)or Paul Mitchell - were in ihe top seven Arts Director partments at WLU. Among sibility is dissemination," said MPP for Waterloo North. get in...1 hope they {elected can- positions necessary to make it to Burchill's examples were poor fa- Sorbara. "I'll be back in one year to open didates)keep those election prom- next year's WLUSU Board of cilities in Biology and Chemistry In reference to differential fees for this baby," said Sorbara. ises. Directors. They were Zoltan He said that each winning can- Horcsok, with didate whowent intothe campaign 9 with a different idea of the student seventh with 252 votes. union should get a "clearer Mathew Teeter, also a Scary picture" Once they assume their Continued on page 3 ■positions. No Pill option in Health Plan

By Catherine McCauley

The 'Yes' campaign "won the battle but lost the war" by not reaching quorum during last Thursday's "Pill Referendum." The February 5referendum resulted in 763 'yes' votes and 669 'no' votes. There were 24 spoiled ballots. For a referendum to be passed, 67% of the total ballots cast must be 'yes' votes. The 'yes' side cast only 46% of the total 1456 votes. Some controversy arose over the presence of a Laurier Christian Fellowship club (LCF) booth in the Concourse on the morning of the election. Tim Wills, the president of the Fellowship, was chair of the 'Vote No' side in the referendum. The referendum concerned the decision to add a $16 birth control pill option to the existing health plan. Between 11:30 and 12:00 during polling hours in the Concourse, the Laurier Christian Fellowship set up a booth to make a presentation on their beliefs. Chief Returning Officer (CRO) Cathy Shannon said, "If it was a candidate, it would have been campaigning. They didn't plan wisely. If they were just talking about religion, I don't consider that campaigning." After a member of the LCF began speaking, a student, Alvin Campbell, tried to prevent the speech from continuing. Campbell explained, "They (LCF) should have respect for others' points of view. Just by being there they presented one point of view. They should not have been there. There is no way you could tell if it affected the voting." Lori Buchanan and John Kroger both witnessed the event. Kroger said, "No way was it accidental. The question is whether it was campaigning. The LCF can push the blame onto the booking person." As the CRO, Shannon has the power to make all final decisions during the election and referendum. She was not in the Concourse during the time nor Cord photo by Debbie Hurst was she called in. She said, "I heard about it but found out what it was all about later." had to talk with faculty, staff, students and Gregory Sorbara, Ontario's Minister of Colleges time For any club to set up a booth in the Concourse it must be booked administrators (among Dean of Students and Universities, visited WLU Tuesday to check them through Maria Tamblyn in the Dean's Office in advance. The LCF was right) out progress made by construction crews on Fred Nichols, about Laurier's concerns scheduled for that time. on such as underfunding and OSAP. the John B. Aird Arts Centre. Sorbara, left, also issues Tim Wills, President of the LCF, admitted, "I did commit infractions but it Continued on page 3 THE CORD WEEKLY 2 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 theCORD weekly February 12,1987 Volume 27, Number 20

Edttor-ln-Chlef Matt Johnston NEWS

" Editor Erika Sajnovic WE DAILY Associate Eric Beyer ■ FEBED Contributors Alex Greer 3r Debbie Hurst Kevin Klein Catherine McCauley Dave Mcintosh Don Minato Kevin Montgomery

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The Cord welcomes all comments, criticisms and suggestions from its readers. Letters to the Editor must be typed, double-spaced and submitted by Monday noon the week of publication. All letters must bear the author's full name, I telephone and student number. Letters are subject to editing for length. The Cord aT V*V* racist, I 6# reserves theriaht to withholdany submission or advertising Its staffconsiders * • sexist, homophobic, libellous or in bad taste. Entry to Match the number you receive on The Cordoffices are located on the 2nd floor of the Student Union Building at Wilfrid 5 Laurler University. Telephone 884-2990 or 884-2991. The Cord Weekly is printed at Ruby sand you ll both get a chance to win Fairway Press, Kitchener The Cord Weekly is published weekly during the fall and winter academic terms. 4§* valuable prizes. $2.00 Admission Editorial opinions are approved by the editorialboard and are independent of the University,WLUSU and Student Publications.The Cord Is a member of the Canadian 6 (Dress Code in Effect) University Press news cooperative. Copyright ©1987 byWLU Student Publications. Waterloo. Ontario, N2L 3C5. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission of the editor. st. n., Waterloo <£ £• Inn 475 King Next Staff Meeting S 884-0220 JL S Monday, Feb. 23, 6:00 p.m. T ￿Special thanks for outstanding effort s*€tK«*N«tHOH«•NtfrHtfrHttHtr NEWS THE CORD WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 3 Fill wins the battle but loses the war Continued from page 1 chairman of the 'No' campaign after learning was unknowingly." In defense of the LCF no one had volunteered for the position. being in the Concourse, he said, "It was 100% WLUSU directors Tom Mcßride and Steve an accident. The LCF had planned a week of Harlow had been asked by Executive Vice- events in the Concourse. We were there to President Andrew Reid to run both sides until discuss Christianity. We had nothing to say then. Mcßride remained as the chair of the about the Pill. This was an awful conflict that 'Yes' campaign. was entirely coincidental." "It was a last-minute thing," said Wills. He "I am very glad that the fellow (Campbell) became chairman of the 'No' campaign about brought it up. We ceased immediately. Had a week before the referendum. we continued there would be a case for Describing the Concourse on election day, annulment," said Wills. Wills said, "Scott Dalton said, 'Good-Morning, Paula Smith-Barney, another student at the we are here to speak about Christianity.' He event, plans to pursue a petition, which, if only spoke for 3.5 minutes. We were out by signed by 10% of the student population, 11:45. It was very true, we didn't want to would force WLUSU to hold a new refer- influence the vote." endum. Commenting on the charges blaming the Andrew Reid, Executive Vice-President, LCF for intentional involvement, said, "There has been no official complaint to Wills said, "Any desire to declare the refer- the election council about the referendum. A endum invalid is invalid. It was so brief few complaint would serve to nullify the re- people were aware what was going on. Not ferendum. If you want another one (refer- enough was said, only the reason we were endum) the best way is to get signatures." there and, finally, I hope as adults we could Reid said, "Two hundred people would have voted intelligently on something even if have had to change their minds. It would be we had continued on, but we quit." ludicrous to think that what they did (LCF) As a result of the referendum, the Pill is not could change 200 people's minds." to be included in the Student Health Insurance LCF President Wills volunteered to be Plan. Scary Monsters see the brighter side By Don Minato "We're pleased in an offhand way Horcsok also commented on the run in student elections." said Wilk. by the interest that was generated party's success, "Winning was never Wilk addressed the controversial One OSMF poster which espe- Representatives from Laurier's by our unorthodox campaigning the intent of the party. We drew cially caused controversy sparked joke party say that despite the style. People either like us or hate attention to our campaign and did Mitchell's regrets. "We stand by all election results, they were success- us, but either way, we got them out away with acclamations." of our posters except for the herpes ful achieving their original goals. poster. I apologized for that poster," in to vote," said Mitchell. Paul Wilk, another OSMP can- Paul Mitchell, Scary an said Mitchell. That placard sug- Official Zoltan Horcsok, elected Arts didate elected as Arts Director, said Monster Party (OSMP) President gested that WLUSU can- Director, said that the OSMP was that his party was successful. another and a presidential candidate in the didate had transmitted herpes to an frustrated with the usual stream of "The whole idea was to get people February 5 WLUSU election, said government OSMP candidate. student candidates. interested and to avoid the same old that the OSMP has fulfilled its main Wilk said, with reference to "We're tired of plastic candidates routine. It was more of a reaction to the poster in question, "The funny thing and plastic platforms, and policies last year's rash of acclamations." that come out like they're going out was that the poster was approved." of style." Wilk said that the OSMP made Their campaign was not without a student politics look attractive to Paul Wilk residual problem, according to Horcsok explained the OSMP those new to the university. "We issue of the Monsters'campaign Mitchell. "We're concerned about policy of having no campaign prom- wanted to make it look like it was posters. "The posters were removed the charges made against us, espe- ises: "We know in reality we can't fun, and inspire interest to others to when other candidates complained," cially calling us criminal." promise anything. We're relays be- tween the students and the exe- cutive." "Looking back, knowing the po- Zoltan Horcsok tential of the OSMP candidates that goals. "Our primary purposes were didn't get elected, 1 would do it Election Results to get people out to vote, and to differently (by) setting up real plat- forms," make fun of the system." said Horcsok. President: Arts Directors:

Dave Bussiere *456 David Bannon ®271 Bussicre isBoss Bryan Leblanc 388 Karen Bird *432 Paul Mitchell 248 Keith Doan 160 Sharpe 296 Stephen Fischer 171 President, said she was "pleased" Maryann Continued from page 1 with the results. "I ran a very clean Spoiled Ballots 53 Zoltan Horcsok ®277 Monster, was acclaimed as Music campaign. I'm happy for him Total Ballots Cast 1441 Eldon Horner 160 Director. (Bussiere), he is a nice guy." Jill Kalbfleisch ®382 President-elect Bussiere com- Sharpe also defended her inex- Vice-President: University Paul mented on the elected Monsters perience. "At times I was misun- Keast 162 who will be on next year's board: derstood. I had to defend my position Affairs: Todd McMillan 194 "On a personal basis I don't really just because of my experience. It Barbara Murray *338 know them. They both seem very seemed that because I was a can- Shawn Giilck 452 Scott Piatkowski *312 eager...lf they are as serious as any didate I should have the insights and Dave McMullin ®757 other candidates that's great. It's a knowledge into WLUSU." John Stapleford 103 question of attitude now that they The seven Arts Directors who Spoiled Ballots 204 Paul Wilk *252 are in." were elected were, in order of Doug Woodburn 214 OSMFPresident Mitchell said that placing: Karen Bird, Jill Kalbfleisch, Total Ballots Cast 1413 he was "pleased by the high voter Barbara Murray, Scott Piatkowski, Spoiled Ballots 30 turnout." He continued, "for those Zoltan Horcsok, David Bannon, and Business Directors: detractors who said 'we defeated Paul Wilk. Total Ballots Cast 772 the Scary Monsters,' half of our The six Business Directors elected platform was getting people out to were: Gesa Wisch, Theresa Ches- Jill Archer *266 •ELECTED vote...We look at it as a victory." ney, Chris Gain, Jill Archer, Heather Theresa Chesney ®321 Sharpe, third-place finisher for Francis, and Scott Williams. Heather Francis ®234 Pill Referendum: Chris Gain *270 Ken Graham 129 Serge Yes, I agree 763 Grenier 136 669 Robert Payne No, I do not agree 152 Spoiled 24 Sheri Rowe 198 Ballots Scott Williams «211 Total 1456 Gesa Wisch *330 Ballots Cast Claude Wood 193 (Failure to achieve 67% of the Spoiled Ballots 32 vote resulted in the Pill refer- Total Ballots Cast 633 endum being rejected.) THE CORD WEEKLY 4 THURSDAY. FEBRUARY 12,1987

!!] ||p=

On behalf of the newly elected Board of Directors, I would like to thank the Student body for the excellent voter turnout. Your continued support and AD2 YOU AM involvement will make nextyearan even betteryear. I Jjjgf want you to remember that resumes are now being wVEfC/mwiIIEVEIC ■ accepted for the three appointed positions on the ) Board of Directors: WLUSU's NEW Tutorial Service ® needs Senior students who VP Student Activities have excelled in one or VP Finance Mfir several subjects, to provide VP Marketing **«: WmSj individual tutoring services.

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HOUSING INFO SESSION 7:30 p.m. Feb. 25/87 Rm. IEI Are your Applications available in the info centre, due Friday, February 27. Event is Saturday, March -to help those who are searching for DRINKING BUDDIES 7/1987. I accomodations for nest year (or something I Prize: opportunity to go on national T.V. A|± AR£ WELCOME , THINKING BUDDIES? I Sponsored by Advisory Council on Off- I Campus Housing (ACOCH) & First Year Council ( FYC ) The New Board of Directors in Action!

Sunday, February 22,1987 in Library Board Room, 7:00 p.m.

The Old 1986—87 Board in Action Sunday, March 1,1987 in Library Board Room at 7:00 p.m.

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Assignments are booked on a first come,first serve basis, SO BOOK EARLY!! NEWS THE CORD WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12. 1987 5 Effective business results achieved with harmony

Alex Greer causes "unchecked greed." As a employees by making them part business students present to spend with a free trade agreement with the result, claimed Stronach, western owners. "If we create a society of some time working in the factories United States, though trade should Frank Stronach, chairman and countries have been moving to the renters, then owners, we will move to try to understand matters from be encouraged. government-oriented social chief executive officer of the auto left with further towards socialism. the employees' perspective. "Fair trade not free trade" is parts giant Magna International, programs. "We need to create free people," In the question period Stronach Stronach's philosophy. addressed a luncheon of students, Stronach challenged the audience. lashed out at the media for what he The event was sponsored by the faculty and local area businessmen "We need to distribute capital to considered to be irresponsible re- Wilfrid Laurier University chapter of last Tuesday, February 3rd at the individuals." porting over business and govern- the International Association of Waterloo Inn. On this note Stronach closed his ment scandals. Students in Economics and Business talk with an admonition to the Stronach also said he disagrees Management (AIESEC). Stronach stressed that the forces of labour and management must be in harmony to produce effective results. "Without such harmony the Editors fired over Hansen jag economy is like a wagon train with no horses. Winnipeg (CUP) — Two editors of Manitoban Operations Committee "Magna is more than a company the University of Manitoba student (MOC), later fired Ehinger and fellow but a culture", said Stronach as he newspaper were fired after 100 angry news coordinator Michael Malegus. outlined his firm's well-known decen- students stormed its office to protest The Manitoban collective voted tralized organization, social goals a controversial front-page photo to fight the firings on grounds of and responsibilities. caption. editorial self-determination. A caption underneath a photo- Pegi Hayes, regional Hansen "(We try) to keep as small as graph of Rick Hansen on the Jan. 22 events organizer, had called for an possible," said Stronach. "There is a edition of The Manitoban read: advertising boycott of the paper but great danger to society when people "Hansen, fuck, again on the cover." later said she become a mere number." "overreacted." "It's like putting 'slut' under the "The caption didn't show much According to Stronach there are Queen's picture," said Wanda Felt, maturity," said Hayes, "but the three political-economic systems Cord photo by Alex Greer the Students' Architecture Society article on Rick are very good." which the twentieth-century world representative on the University of Other Hansen organizers said Stronach believes in corporate has attempted implement Manitoba Students' Union. 'they considered the incident "a to but openness and advocates that other each has failed one way or another. The SAS, which sponsored a Man conference Jan 26. prank" and thought the caption was businesses follow Magna's example in Motion rally at the university "The caption was irresponsible. "hilarious." Hansen himself has The first is communism or so- and develop their own Corporate earlier that week, organized an There was no excuse," said John refused to comment on the issue. cialism, and,"I (Stronach) would Charters of Rights. Furthermore, he occupation of Manitoban offices Ehinger, a Manitoban news coor- A motion to reinstate the fired have been a communist in Russia in has advised the federal and pro- the day the paper was published. Its dinator. editors Feb. 3 failed 15 to 17. After 1917 if I was a worker or a peasant vincial governments to change their members collected and burned 9,000 "The caption was never intended the vote, councillors asked the when the Czar had all the power." tax laws to encourage this develop- of 12,000 copies circulated. as an attack on Mr. Hansen," he Operations Committee to review The second system is the fascist ment — companies with such char- "We worked really hard organ- said. "It was intended as a criticism the matter again. dictatorship where the state regulates- ters would be taxed less than those izing Rick Hansen events on cam- of the media. The word 'fuck' was The committee is to address without. pus," said SAS member Margaret never needed to state that Doint." concerns that it made its decision to the economy in the interest of the White. "One word destroyed every- The Manitoban voted to sus- fire without the full complement of Stronach's alternative to the three plutocrats and cartels. Stronach thing we did." The editorial collective pend three staff members who three Manitoban staffers, three domination systems is the "fair denounced this system as being of The apologized to representatives, enterprise system." Manitoban worked on the issue. However, the students' union and "immoral." Hansen and its readers in a press paper's publishing board, The three students-at-large. By that the Magna chairman Third is the free enterprise sys- means private companies work to tem, whose main fault is that it better their relations with their t WRITERS i 112 NEWS m X Story meetings are held every Wednesday at 4:30 £ in the News Office. Be there or be a goof! £ NOW OPEN < >

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■ » <$»*&> 888-6181| THE CORD WEEKLY NEWS 6 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 Quebec student sets up food Sorbara comment poorly received by student brass

bank to help aid-less peers HAMILTON (CUP) - A recent Sorbara "cocky". Students may be comment by Ontario Colleges and privileged for their education, "but

— Universities Minister Greg Sorbara financially, no," Siskos said. Montreal (CUP) A slight delay in stomach is growling." he isn't worried about students Quebec bursary cheques has led a Some students have told Weekes has irritated student politicians. Pressed to revise contributions abusing the generosity ofthe service. as keynote speaker Concordia student to set up a food there are people who need food I Sorbara, to guidelines in the Ontario Student bank for starving students. more than students. But Weekes "I'm going on altruistic motives," an Ontario Federation of Students Assistance Program, Sorbara said Felix Weekes, founder of the disagrees. "Students are one of the he said. "If people abuse it, there's meeting at McMaster University, no changes will likely be made, Canadian Association for the most important groups in society. not much I can do about that, but said Ontario university students are although he said he would "look at Advancement of People, set up the They are the ones coming from the what I can do is give people that "blessed individuals ... a privileged the issue again." service after three food drives and real world and going into the real really need it the opportunity to use class in a privileged society." Jones said most students, espe- now has provisions for 50 students. world," he said. it." Kathy Jones, external commis- cially women, cannot raise the i sioner at Ryerson Polytechnical in money the government expects "Nutrition is the most important Boxes have been set up at both So far a total ofabout 15requests Toronto, said Sorbara "doesn't to towards the part of anything," said Weekes. McGill and Concordia campuses so for food have been made at the two them contribute cost understand the needs of students if of their "The government "You can want to do anything in the that students onlyhave to drop off a universities. "There is a lot of pride education. still thinks they're privileged." expects to contribute $1,200 world, but if you don't eat, forget it. note with theirname and number so involved. We have to look past he us to Garry You can't concentrate when your they can be contacted. Weekes said that," said Weekes. Siskos of McMaster called $1,500 and there's no way we can," she said. In a visit to WLU this week, Sorbara claimed to have been mis- understood. "I meant that students are privi- leged due to the way in which the provincial and federal governments invest in their future," Sorbara said. r z^SM Dream Sale

■ 112 ~iaß By Kevin Montgomery Dreams were bought for less than Uj MBM^yAiy/hjfyfli\°.b|ifewfalu»lit >, *j§ retail prices during AIESEC's KtaP R -* > "Dream Auction" on February 4th mJtgm AH 112 viflM in the Concourse. BjUKLK • MM Brick Beer and Jeff Burchill, WLUSU Vice President of University Affairs, were among the sixty-six packages auctioned off. The biggest individual package was a fifteen-day Eurorail pass. Other popular sellers were two weekend packages for the Walper Terrace and the Valhalla Inn. "It took a lot of work, but it was worth it," said Tom Currie, co- ordinator of the event. "Both finan- cially, and the number of people who came out, made it a success," said Currie. Money raised from the sale of the donated items will be used for AIESEC purposes such as admini- strative costs, business lunches, and for international AIESEC exchanges. "The beer sold the best, as well as the raisin bread," said George Micheals. The radio personality said he was paid for his volunteer services with a loaf of raisin bread. "Next year I want two loaves," he said. WLUSU SportsLounge

By Debbie Hurst

WLUSU's Sports Lounge was opened on Wednesday, February 4. The concept of Willison Lounge has been in discussion for approxi- mately two years and last Wed- nesday night the idea was put into practice when the lounge opened for business. The lounge is located in the I The The Fast, Free I Turret. It will be open every night from 8-12 pm. I Contest: Rules: Delivery ■ According to John Karr, WLUSU Business Manager, the lounge for 50 is Dominds Pizza will award 1. Carry-out orders and 4. The location and time WESTMOUNT ROAD students to drop in for a drink when ■ free, 30 large pizzas and all deliveries made of the party will be ft their favourite sports are being AA*O9QO*w ■ $50.00 cash for liquid from your area's convenient to both www w broadcast on the big screen. refreshments to the group Domino's Pizza store the winners and Ouf driyers carry less An effort was made to get funding purchasing the most will be counted if we Domino's Pizza. than $20.00. Rjn for major renovations of Willison pizzas are given your group's Limited delivery area Lounge from the students' union. I name and address. 5. The 30 pizzas will be ©1982 Domino's pizza, inc. Although the request was denied, I 2-item pizzas. The the lounge was opened. I 2. Any pizza over $10.00 winner will have the MWPM Presently the students' union has will be counted twice. choice of items. The Ejfl a satellite dish and brings in a sports pizzas do not have network (TSN). Before the lounge H I serving 3. The winning groups to be the same. ■ was converted to a separate bar, WLUSU lost money on name will be published LM it. in the local newspaper. IbSJuul "I just want to see the space used," said Karr. Karr expects that if people make use of the lounge, then a profit can be made. THE CORD WEEKLY NEWS THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 7 Ministers of education hold forum Toronto (CUP) — Faster than a strike an agenda for the much would co-sponsor and co-organize have yet been announced, to the Ontario Minister of Colleges and speeding bureaucrat, the Council of celebrated, and much delayed, the forum with the federal govern- chagrin of lobby groups. Universities. Ministers of Education has quietly national forum on post-secondary ment. "We have serious concerns about Sorbara said Crombie reassured the outcry for reform education. responded to In its Oct. 1 Speech from the the delays," said Matt Certosimo, ministers that Ottawa would not use to Canada's ailing post-secondary The Council was expected to set Throne, the Mulroney government chair of the Ontario Federation of the forum to try to usurp the at education system. the agenda for the forum this pledged to hold the forum, including Students. "Nothing at all was provinces' control over education, meeting meeting, was At its 50th in Toronto which attended by 19 all groups involved in post-secondary decided here." which is guaranteed in the country's it country's Feb. 3, the Council announced of the provincial ministers education, by early this year. How- Certosimo said, however, that constitution. has struck a committee which will responsible for education. However, ever, no details regarding the students are relieved that the two Some provinces, British Columbia another committee, which will the Council announced only that it agenda, date or place of the forum strike levels of government will at least be in particular, have been accused of meeting to discuss the issue. "Stu- siphoning federal transfer payments, planning and, in consultation, will dents have been pushing for this for intended for education and health advise and assist the university Pre-register years," he said. care, for other purposes. Crombie community in the areas of infor- The council's administration com- apparently has assured the prov- mittee will set up a planning com- inces that this issue would not be lines mittee for the forum, council chair discussed at the forum. toavoid Anthony Brummet announced. The Registrar's Office planning committee will co-ordinate H.K. Fisher, director general of the forum, which will probably be the council, said Crombie"was clear and emphatic Pre-registration will take place held in the fall. about his expecta- between February 23 and March 5. Brummet said students would not tions, but it was not a (province) bashing by any It allows returning students time to sit on the planning committee, means. Both sides choose their courses for the 1987-88 although Canadian Federation of have warmed to the idea of co- operative academic year, and alleviates long Students representative Anne Marie action." line-ups during the September regi- Turcotte said CFS has received But some participants in the stration period. "assurances" from Secretary of council meeting were frustrated with Instructions and materials will be State David Crombie and Youth a pre- occupation of federal and available February 16in the following Minister Jean Charest that students provincial jurisdictions. Gerald locations: Business and Economics would have some say in organizing McCarthy, deputy minister of edu- students are to go outside Room the forum. cation in Nova Scotia, said a better 3002; Music students are to consult the approval in principle of the mation analysis, integrated infor- Brummet expects the forum to funding arrangement should be the Faculty of Music; and Arts and renovation of on-campus student mation systems, and reporting sys- last from three to seven days, and found,regardless ofthe constitution. Science students are to go to the mailboxes beside the information tems. for as many as 500 people to "When young people want an Office of the Registrar. booth. This will be the new storage He will co-ordinate and direct the participate at the forum. He esti- education, when adults want re- Counselling sessions commence space for Wilf's. The present mail- university's financial services, physi- mated costs to range between training, they don't want a lecture February 23. A schedule is printed box area will be turned tocorkboard cal plant and planning, facilities $400,000 and $500,000. on the constitution," McCarthy said, on the instructions. covered with plexiglass, and will be engineering, budgeting, and infor- Secretary of State David Crombie, noting his remarks do not neces- Completed forms must be re- used for announcement space. mation and analytical services. whose office is expected to handle sarily represent those of his ministry. turned to the Office of the Registrar After very little deliberation, a much of the forum's logistics, met "And to say that the system has to no later than March 6. motion was passed to have $100 with ministers Feb. 2. Although no remain the same because of some allotted for the installation of a night details of the forum were discussed, preposterous constitutional clause microwave in the Niobe lounge. Career several ministers were "encouraged" is nothing less than idiotic." action Lastly, February 10'-12 is by the meeting. A federal-provincial consultative BOD BACCHUS Alcohol Awareness a success "Frankly, we were just feeling committee on student aid was also week. One of the planned events each other out, and deciding where borne out of the meeting, although By Kevin Klein By Dave was to have police in the Turret with McIntosh Mr. Crombie was coming from for the attitude of ministers towards a Breath Analyzer taking samples this forum," said Greg Sorbara, student aid angers Certosimo. WLUSU's February 10 presen- from students. This idea was re- The Arts & Science Career Night tation to Gregory Sorbara, was held Tuesday February 3 in the jected since it would leave the Turret 1 Provincial Minister of Colleges and and WLUSU open to a lawsuit if Paul Martin Centre. Students were H Universities, was previewed at last encouraged to seek guidance a i someone were to pass the test in the from r MEMgS Vffc meeting. Sunday's WLUSU board Turret and then blow over the legal select group of Laurier and non- iP Brian Thompson, President of limit on the road. Laurier graduates who have attained WLUSU, will be giving Sorbara A breathalyzer will be presented a place in the professional world. "Laurier's view" of underfunding. in the Concourse sometime during CharleneZietsma, Arts & Science WLUGSA, Wilfrid Laurier the week instead. Career Advisor for Placement & University's Graduate Student Career Services, who was respon- Association, asked Brian Thompson sible for career night, said there is to make a special note to Sorbara as little relationship between the to why WLUGSA was not repre- Berczi new careers graduates have chosen and sented at the meeting. the degrees they have received. Dr. Richard Muncaster, organizer WLU Zietsma stressed this is true for all of Sorbara's visit to WLU, refused VP post-secondary educational institu- to recognize WLUGSA as a repre- Dr. Andrew Berczi, Dean of tions. sentative body because the graduate Graduate Studies at Wilfrid Laurier The audience was very interested fell students' organization is not recog- University since 1979, has been in the statistics and was concerned jf« I nized in the operating agreement named Vice-President for Planning, with proposed career choices. /J] HOTEL between administration and Finance, and Information Services, Placement & Career Services was WATERLOO^, WLUSU. a new position effective Ju y 1. established to assist students in their Other WLUSU events included Berczi will be responsible for search for jobs and careers. ■■ ■■ ■ VALUABLE COUPON VALUABLE COUPON m I i LIVE! 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rough around the edgesso what? Icould to vote, the second highest in WLUSU regret that this is the only kind comment OSMP may have jolted see no better created in such a short ...even if OSMP joked hi6tory, up fromthe paltry 155whovoted this message includes. space of time. apathy in the Health plan referendum. Our No one can auestion the rights of oth- students to vote... students out of intent in the OSMP was first to get peo- ers to openly disagree with the aims of JoelD. Watson ple out to vote and second was to poke the OSMP candidates. But even I am The recent elections for WLUSU Yes-they were funny- and crude and funat the system. We would like to think compelled to respond to wild accusa- positions has come and went and con- ...but Cord should not sexist and racist and slanderous. But has that we have been successful in both tions that I am a slanderous non- gratulations must be given to all the anything ever roused WLU students aspects. An unprecedented amount of candidate. I pride myself to be a person winners. This years elections were dif- run anti—OSMP letters.. from their apathetic stance like the interest was generated in this election as with enough self-esteem to allow myself ferent from most because there was OSMP did? Everyone agrees that Apathy we ascribe it to our unorthodox cam- to be the subject of ridicule to spark competition for the positions and the I would like to comment on the three is the dread disease of the school; paigning style. We at least got people interest and debateon an organization of voter turnout was a record for recent articles that appeared in the Cord on WLUSU continually fights a valient bat- looking at the walls and thinking about importance. From the outset, 1felt that years. The reason forall of thisis clear to Thursday Feb. 5 concerning the OSMP tle to overcome this rampant (or is it the election. to politic in the traditional WLUSU anyone claiming to be conscious on this and their involvement in the WLUSU slumbering) giant of social disgrace. We The OSMP's second purpose was to fashion would constitute implied consent campus for the last two weeks; the General Section. all heard the campiagn promises that poke fun at the system and it is this that for the overall direction of the corpora- 0.5.M.P., love them or hate them made The main issue with which I would like "we will fight in the classrooms; we will has raised some hackles. I would like at tion. Any organization that has trouble the vote count last Thursdaynight a long to deal with concerns the decision of the fight in the Concourse; we will defend this point to apologize to Mary Ann getting more than ten to twenty percent one. responsible members of the Cord to ourenthusiam. We will never surrender!" Sharpe for the infamous herpes poster of its electorate out to the polls is doing Letters to the Cord of the last week print these editorials about the OSMP. How much trust does anyone place in which we even consider was in bad taste. something fundamentally wrong. Until were for the most part highly critical of It has always been my belief that these stirring allegations? We however standby theremaining pos- WLUSU politicians put aside their egos the O.S.M.P. for the type of campaign general elections in a democracy were At the risk of wrongly interpreting the ters. In their criticisms, our detractors and place themselves back into the run by this motley bunch. The letters not only to be free, open and corruption- motives behind the OSMP, I felt that take two stands. One is that our posters mainstream of life at Laurier, they willbe stated the indignation of certain indi- free, but also, fair and equitable. I'm sure they were not trying to degrade them- slandered (libeled?) other candidates. I ignored. viduals to the whole concept and met- Mr. K. Powers would agree with me. selves or the democratic creed; they have already partially addressed this The OSMP was an effective means of hods of the 0.5.M.P., what theyfailed to The articles that appeared in the Feb. were attempting to show the farcical concern. As for therest I have to saythat stirring up interest in WLUSU politics. realize however was that the jokewas on 5 edition of the Cord, coincidently the nature of the school election process, if if what we did was libel, then all political Our goal, my goal, was achieved. Given them. The campaign.may have insulted same date as the WLUSU General not that process in general. cartoonists and similar humourists are in time, the party will emerge as a barome- the sensitive feelings of these individuals Election, were exclusively anti-OSMP. The majorityof platformsconsisted of, big trouble. One of the primary rules of ter for student opinion on WLUSU's but that may have been the cost of the first editorial outrightly condemned "I can best represent YOUR interests. I politics is to discredit your opponent. If performance. shocking the student electorate awake OSMP for the nasty and negative impli- have the experience, the knowledge, the the other candidates gave us an oppor- As for the allegations of slander, I do to their owngovernment. There is an old cations that their democratic right to keenness of attitude. Vote for me be- tunity to poke fun at their platforms not believe that parodies of campaign political proverb that you cannot please contest an election might have. The cause 1 am the best." And Laurier's and/or posters, we took that opportun- slogans constitute sufficient, if any, everybody, this is especially true when second editorial, (if it can be called that) favourite — "I have the answer to ity. If that is libel then we are the ardent grounds for such a charge. In my opin- you are not concerned with treating further condemned OSMP for its sup- Apathy!" I got the feeling that these fer- sociopaths that Mr. Hain makes us out ion, the only demonstration of slander apathy with kid gloves. posed slanderous slogans. The third vant assertationsof good will were mixed to be. consisted of Allister Hain's letter and the WLUSU, as a student government is letter condemned the OSMP for their with the desire to wield some powerand Secondly, our critics have stated that Cord's gross exaggerations of Paul Mit- really misnomer, it acts and thinks like a "highschoolish" campaign propoganda. I to have some impressive resume ma- we are a threat to democracy as we chell'scommentsat the Open Forum for corporation silently running on its own am not questioning the right of these terial. could have possibly been elected. Our Presidential Candidates. As my first year course, its stock holders barely aware of individuals to hold such opinions and The OSMP did not follow the conven- intent was to satirize a system that took Political Science T.A. Allister, your opin- its existence. Today and forward to next have them printed in the Cord, as long tion — the posters and promises that itself far too seriously. If we had been ions have grown to mean as much to me year this will change, three O.S.M.P. as their editorials are published at the were blandly given and heard — and, as a elected I think that might have been an as anyone's at Laurier. However, I wonder members on the board plus closet appropriate time. result, their effectiveness was hotly important message to the "ruling elites". if your views were more based on the supporters as well will lead to a more I believe the personsresponsible at the debated. Who debated the merits of What 1 see in all three letters addressing perspective of a disillusioned supporter open government, serious but with a Cord who decided to print these anti- other candidates? Who remembered the OSMP last week were people who of afailing presidential campaign orupon grasp of the over-all scheme of things. OSMP articles neglected their respon- those monologues of accomplishments felt the status quo to be challenged by a the perspective of a person who truly What must be remembered about sibilitiesand duties to WLUSU, all of the (or did you tell your friends about new force. If the student body had missed the point (or maybe both). I student elections is that they are only candidates and the student body as a speeches of gibberish — and then tell of chosen to place us in office, who are believe that it is safe to make the student elections and the primary pur- whole. The appearance of these articles the serious note thatentered at the end)? these critics to say they couldn't simply assumption that the unusually high voter pose is to achieve results with less hassle in the Cord on the same date as the Who else elicited as many Cord-pulished because they happen to disagree with turnout was because of our efforts and and delay; it is not to surround the work- WLUSU General Election, in which all our ideas. This I say to Mssrs. Powers, not those of WLUSU. Pretty good for a ings in the aura of professionalism or to three articles were anti-OSMP, could The OSMP has given WLUSU a Hain, Bitsakakis is the stuff of demo- bunch of incompetent non-candidates, if become bogged down in the formal hardly be considered (except in Iron much-needed, all-round, pulic nose- cracy, which you have proved to have 1 may say so. structure and needless bureaucracy. Curtain countries) fair and equitable thumbing. But the students have been grave misunderstandings of. Not only is Allister, you know me as a serious per- Lets leave that sort of thing to Ottawa treatment of a political party contending delivered a kick as well. They did not democracy based on a well informed son with a conservative nature, so you and Queen's Park where it belongs. for office in a general election. allow for the usual laxadasical, "I-really- electorate, but also the freedom of cho- may be wondering why I did not discuss It is ironic that it took such a "subver- I, hereby, call for the persons respon- do-not-care" stance. How many voted ice and expression. Before you go put- WLUSU issues in a serious manner. sive" group to turn WLUSU politics sible for this negligient act to formally only to be sure that OSMP candidates ting barriers on the electoral process, Well, my idealistic view is that even around, after all, these people could only apologize to the OSMP and their can- did not get a seat? Or that they did? Let's take a good long look at the various total- though student elections are won on manage to "degrade" themselves. Per- didates. Further, I call upon the proper hope that this is the beginning of some- itarianand authoritarian systems in this catchy slogans, friendships, and unreas- haps if more people were less concerned authorities to investigate these persons' thing revolutionary in student and world. onable promises, when it comes right with the result, apathy and student decision and institute regulations and government attitudes. Lastly I would like to say that last Fri- down to it, elected student politicians government would be less of a problem. guidelines, if necessary to prevent this Or were they only trying to be funny? day night, the OSMPcooked the Cat. He should put aside their egos agendas and The O.S.M.P. candidates were willing to from reoccurring in the future. was very good with mustard. And if you work for the students. Until this occurs, devote their timeand effort to what wasa Penny Hobin believe that I have a bridge to sell you comedic election campaigns will be far "revolutionary" campaiqn. Ifit was alittle Mark Heckman more appropriate than "serious" ones. Paul Mitchell Given some people's curiosity to know OSMP President explains President of the Official my true views on WLUSU, I will tell you Scary Monster Party what I want to see from WLUSU next and defends year: Fiscal responsibility, long range WLU financial planning, community involve- As the president of the OSMP, I would So does another ment, open co-operative student govern- Student Publications like to take this opportunity to speak ment, and personnel willing to look for about our party seriously - at last say unsuccessful Monster.. ways to lower our student fees rather some - and attempt to answer some of thanraising them to cover poormanage the charges laid at the Scary Monsters rial decisions and plain waste. A final — Position Open Immediately last week. First of all to our critics who I would like to commence this letterby observation; next year's BOD and were applauding our defeat, we in the congratulating all those who were elected WLUSU executives look rather promis- OSMP like to see it as a victory. Last on Feb. 5/87.1, 112 orone, can not think ofa ing. We are all waiting to see if the prom- The WLU Student Publications Board of Thursday over 1400 students turned out finer group of people to lose out to. I ises are kept. Directors, is now accepting applications for Doug Woodburn the Photo Manager And so does a winning Duties include: Scary Monster director • inventory control This letter seeks to respond to several • assigning photo coverage criticisms directed towards the O.S.M.P. in last weeks letter section of the Cord. • supervision of staff First of all I would like to say that the O.S.M.P. at no time during the election • orders processing customer campaign used any poster containing • holding hours racial slurs, as was implied by several of office last weeks letters. Friday, February 13/87 at 4 pm Secondly, in response to Allister Hain Deadline: who called us "quacks" and implied that This position is open to all registered students Continued on page 9 of WLU and cross-registered students of U of W. Applications and more information are office, PETALS 'N POTS Inc. available at the Student Publications' FLOWER SHOP 2nd Floor Student Union Building

WLU Student Publications Annual Meeting Friday, February 27/87 4pm Room 2-112 (CTB) Election of the President and the Board of Directors will be held valentines

• 10% Discount to students 1 " * * '1, Open to all Students WLUSP gratefully acknowledges the"'7 65 University at Weber ■ ■ immunity support of Carling O'KeefeSSS 885-2180 THE CORD WEEKLY C O MM E N T THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 9

Although elections do not always yield I know we reformed our poster policy Point Two. Although I do not know all Continued from page 8 Another Monster, this the best result it does allow the voter the to be more lenientbut ludicrous I cannot there is to know about the Pill or no Pill we were some type of criminal organiza- opportunity to say "Ido not believe 'John believe. 1 sincerely hope your newly Health Plan my major concern is why tion all I can say is that he is grossly time a non-candidate Doe' is qualified for the position." Is this elected officers will investigate this mat- should I, a male, pay $16 for women of misinformed. Admittedly some O.S.M.P. what WLU students were saying when ter of obvious displeasure and clean up WLU to have access to birth control posters did parody those of other candi- If it had not be n for Allister Hain's 204 people cast spoiled ballots for the the act. Students ought to enjoy the pills. I feel that this is discriminatory. 1 dates and we make no apology for this, letter to the Editor (5 Feb. 87), I would position of V.P. University Affairs? This activities of their Students' Union and would completely support the plan if but since all O.S.M.P. posters were still be ignorant to the fact that I am a message goes unheard if the position is respect those who give of their time and some form of male contraceptive were clearly parody, they can in no way be criminal. My name is Bill Hrycay and 1 acclaimed. energy to make student life exciting. also offered. The argument that was considered slanderous. Perhaps Mr. confess that as a Scary Monster, I was Chris Bitsakakis, as a first year Gen- There is one more issue 1 wish to used on me was that the pill was more Hain would advocate prosecution for partially responsible for the posters eral Science student with "years of address. The evening I was here I walked effective than the condom. Fine, what any political cartoonist or comedian who which caused Mr. Hain anger. In his let- extensive involvement in politics on a up to the WLUSU offices. They were happens if my girlfriend is not a WLU portrays Brian Mulroney or David Peter- ter, Mr. Hain stated, "Slander (I assume very broad scope"(letter to the Editor: 5 closed. What! saw stunned me. Through student? Are we not trying to encourage son as a clown. At least this would keep he meant libel) is a criminal offense. This Feb. 87), I was perplexed as to why you the window glaring at me was a poster of parental planning in general? This leads our jails full. I hope Mr. Hain is not plan- is something that the Scary Monsters were unable to read between the lines the Prime Minister of Canada, the Rt. me to my last question, would the Pill ning a career in law. Furthermore, all shouldremember. Those who have been when you were analysing the antics of Hon. Brian Mulroney and much to my Plan allow me to acquire the pill for a posters for all candidates, the O.S.M.P hurt by the actions of the Scary Mons- the OSMP candidates. Mr. Bitsakakis, dismay it is marred by pinholes. The face non-student provided 1 pay the $16? included, were approved by the C.R.O ters have and should, in my opinion, perhaps, with your past political invol- is disrespectfully used as a dart board or the deputy C.R.O. Certain posters exercise their rights of prosecution vement you will be able to provide a solu- with darts poked in the poster. I couldn't cited by Mr. Hain which he considers against these criminals." tion to student apathy. believe my eyes, the wall of the VP Uni- UW student loses coat particularly slanderous were removed According to Kevin Powers, in his let- Rather than merely being intellectual versity Affairs donning such flagrant dis- at the Turret permanently (even though they were ter to the Editor (5 Feb. 87), "the OSMP critics of the system, the OSMP mem- regard for the Second highest officer in approved) by the O.S.M.P after recon- does not deserve votes or even the privi- bers decided to take a "non-conven- this land. I never thought I would come to sideration of their content. lege of running in the election and allow- tional" approach to solving a problem the defense of Tories but no wonder On the night of Friday, February 6, Thirdly, the O.S.M.Pfeels quite proud ing them to do so is a mockery to the within our university. For this 1 have no there are students participating in ridicu- four friends and I were at the TURRET. to be viewed by Kevin Powers as some integrity of the democratic process." Mr. apology. I believe that Miss Sharpe has lous campaign tactics. Being from U of W, where the music they sort of threatto the democratic process; Powers, I respectfully submit that your the maturity to view the offensive poster Perhaps this VP is not of the Conser- play at FED HALL tends to be somewhat would Mr. Powers wish to invoke the understanding of the democratic pro- within the context of the entire cam- vative persuasion but his personal beliefs obscure, I was glad to hear good old time War Measures act to control the evil cess is greatly lacking. The democratic paign; it is unfortunate others could not should not be so blatantly displayed in rock n' roll like Bob Seger, The Beatles, menace which is the O.S.M.P? Mr. process loses its integrity (if not its pur- do the same. Although apathy is not his office. Students should not be sub- and the Rolling Stones. We had a enjoy- Powers states that simplyby offering our pose) if candidates with different views dead, it is in remission. Work stillremains jected to it nor tolerate it. able time dancingand having drinks from names for consideration, the O.S.M.P. were not permitted to participate in the to be done. Interest increases aware- the shooter bar. All in all it was a very members affect the outcome of the elec- election. This point can be expanded on ness; with awareness apathy will be Kathy Horvath enjoyable evening .... that is until it was tion and the political futures of all candi- by asking any first year Political Science reduced. time to leave. dates. I wonder if Mr. Powers would student to compare democracy in the When we returned to our table, one of advocate a procedure by which himself, Soviet Union and in Canada. Mr. Pow- Bill Hrycay What about the Pill the girl's coats, a long black cloth coat or some other individual decided who ers, as a second year student in Honours referendum results? with white specks, and a yellow scarf, could and who could not stand as candi- Business, I am confident that you will P.S. Mr. Hain, given that you believe in was missing. Perhaps somebody accid- dates for the student bodies considera- conclude that different people have dif- "the fundamental laws of this society", entally mistook it for their own coat and tion in an election. This certainly sounds ferent views on what gives the demo- perhaps it would be more prudent to Last week I was in the History Lounge went home with it. However, if this was like the communist party to me. I would cratic process its integrity. In addition, it consider people innocent until proven when I overheard a conversation con- the case, then why was there no identical suggest that Mr. Powers arguments, and is my opinion that participation in elec- guilty. cerning among other things the Cord coat remaining after everyone had gone? not the O.S.M.P. are a bigger threat to tions is a right not merelya "privilege" as and the Health Plan. In fact there were no other coats left democracy at W.L.U. The O.S.M.P. you claim. And what My friend stated that he would like to behind. Surely the person didn't go home serves to prove that democracy is alive Mr. Powers, you state the"the demo- does a recent see several things changed or improved wearing two coats. 1 hope that the coat and well at W.L.U. and I would like to cratic system is based on a well-informed grad think of all this? in the Cord, particularly the news cov- was taken by mistake, and that whoever think the O.S.M.P. had something to do electorate selecting representatives." I erage; however he was quick to add that has it will turn it in to the WLUSU INFO with the fact that approx. 1300 students suggest you eitherdemonstrate a system What has happened to the students of since he did not have the time to become CENTRE, or elseit may mean that you'll cast ballots in this years student union which meets your standard or be realis- Laurier? What has the Students' Union involved he would keep his mouth shut. have to start padlocking your coats to elections. As I recall there was no need to tic and eliminate the word "well- done this past year to create such an Unfortunately our discussion was your table, or dancing with them on. In cast a ballot at all for most positions on informed." I, too, would prefer that the expression of mockery and disrespect interrupted before I could make my the meantime there is a very nice girl last years 8.0.D. electorate be well-informed; the voter, by a group of individuals? point. I have no doubts in my mind that walking around in the cold without a Finally, I would like to thank the sup- however, must first be aware that there I am a May 1986 grad who visited WLU the Cord would love input even if it is coat. porters of the O.S.M.P. and in particular is an election — not to mention the fact on Tuesday, February 3rd for Career critism. Think about this, if no one told those who voted for me personally. A that there must be an election. Fair. I was appalled to see the blatant you that you were doing something F. Wong large portion of the student body re- The primary objective of the Official disrespect for elected WLUSU officials wrong you would assume that it was cor- sponded favourably to the O.S.M.P. and Scary Monster Party (OSMP) was to as indicated by a collection of election rect. Same deal up on the second floor of the life it was trying to breathe back into reduce student apathy. I sincerely believe posters. the Student Union building. If no one More the electoral process at Laurier. As one that the actions of the OSMP members The sardonic style utilized is vulgar offers any critism as to how things are of your elected officials to next year's created an atmosphere which encour- and defamatory. It is shocking to see done they are not going to change. board, I will try to tap that same enthusi- aged 34% of the student body to partici- these magazine photos pasted on pos- This is not an appeal to the apathetic Letters on asm in the student body which the pate in this year's WLUSU elections. ters: a cat in a frying pan, aperson vomit- hordes of WLU. By all means if you want O.S.M.P. has been able to tap in the last This is in comparison to less than 4% ting, sitting on a toilet, rude gestures, and to sit on your ass do so. The point I want pages 10 few weeks. participation in the referendum on 13 sexual messages. What is wrong here? to make is that offering critism will give Paul Wilk Nov. 86 where 155 students voted (Cord: Why do students select a satirical revolt the Cord a good idea as to what the 20 Nov. 86). against their own government? students of WLU want or do not want. and 11...

WORRIED ABOUT THE HIGH Applications and platforms now being accepted COST OF GRADUATION? from candidates for the position of ">?>rryyyyryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy> ■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■a

Weekly Sooters has been taking quality grad portraits Cord for over 10 years. We do more graduates from Editor-in-Chief school than any other company locally and across Canada. That's a lot of happy, satisfied customers, (1987-88) at a reasonable price. Our basic grad portrait package starts at $39.95. Why so cheap?

1. We don't pay fees to the Student Association. 2. As one of Canada's largest portrait chains, our costs are lower and we can Duties and responsibilities include: pass that on to you. SUMMER PUBLICATIONS: Please consider Sooters for □ Edit and produce a wall calendar, student telephone directoryand The WLUer Student Handbook and Daily Planner. your quality grad portraits. □ Contract printers and organize volunteers so as to have publications available for distribution in September. This Special Low Package Offer THE CORD WEEKLY: □ Edit and oversee publication of a 5000-circulation weekly tabloid newspaper. Ends February 28,1987 □ Establish editorial policy in consultation with five-person editorial board. □ Supervise honoraried and volunteer staff. Sooter Studios Applications and platforms must be submitted to Roger Nault in the Cord Weekly offices by 2:30 p.m. on February 28,1987. Screening and election by Cord staff will Waterloo Town Square take place at 2:30 p.m. on March 6,1987. 886-1740 Any questions about this or any other Cord position? Phone or visit Matt in the Cord Offices. 884-2990

/ xa UeniT in Photography THE CORD WEEKLY 10 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 the COMMENT

CORDweekly

The Cord as a battlefield

In the last few weeks, the Cord has been swamped with letters to the editor. We are, of course, thrilled with so much response from readers, even when it shows us in a negative light. To encourage the free exchange of ideas among its readers, the Cord endeavours to print all letters we receive, whether we agree with the opinions or not. We will only withhold a letter that is, in our opinion, libellous or if it is largely irrelevent and just repeats what previous writers have said. Because the space for letters is limited, we will not print publicity letters advertising an event; they should be referred to the proper spaces (like the classified page or upcoming events section). We should point out that letters to the editor are the individual opinion of their authors and should in no way be interpreted as representing an editorial opinion of the Cord. There is a significant difference between a letter expressing one person's opinion and the editorials published in this space, which represent an acceptable opinion to The Cord Weekly and its staff. OSMP flawed but effective Currently, the Cord is being forced to examine its identity. The Scary Monsters are not "criminals." Most university newspapers have a written The Scary Monster Party ran a silly campaign with constitution that their operations and the intention of combating apathy among student News Comment By governs voters. What students should keep in mind is that decisions. The Cord does not. As it stands we originally they did not want to get elected. At the height Eric Beyer rely on precedent and democracy. Decisions are of the campaign, OSMP president Paul Mitchell said, and Mike Wert subject to approval from a majority of staff. Staff "Either people will love what we're doing or they'll hate members have contributed to a minimum number us, but one way or another, at least they'll be interested." and damaging. One thing the Monsters should consider of papers and attended at least one-third of our They did get attention; witness the recent letters is that by mocking their opponents they might frighten weekly staff meetings. sections of The Cord. The party wanted to make off future candidates. The Monsters may be encour- A constitution would essentially have our people more aware of WLUSU issues and of the aging student apathy. decision-making methods and policies engraved in candidates running for student government. Unfor- Way back in December the official treasurer of the OSMP said by stone. As we hammer away at the constitution, we tunately, the OSMP became the main WLUSU issue, that running tons of candidates, the and the whole perspective of the election was thrown main objective for the campaign was to avoid the are obliged to consider things like letters policy out the door. In fact, the issues that should have acclamations which occurred for directors in last year's more closely. differentiated the knowledgeable from the ignorant election. The joke campaign for the Monsters would There are a few things we know for sure, candidates became secondary in importance and end after election day, and each OSMP candidate though. Letters are for you, the student body, to focus. would drop out. Sometime between December and the start of the express your opinions and concerns. But a large What started out as a good idea soon became campaign Paul Mitchell decided to go all the controversial. way and a joke campaign became an amount of At the Concourse forum, the OSMP somewhat serious. number of letters creates incredible candidates used their platform time to deride the other The Scary Monsters did succeed at getting the work for editors, typists, and pasteup artists. For candidates. In concept, it is refreshing to parody students out to vote. This year the election turnout was this reason, we must remind our readers that student politics (fish rights, for example), but not when higher than in many past years. Last year the winning letters should not exceed 250 words, or they will the other candidates become the brunt of jokes. One presidential candidate received 369 votes with two to size consulting elects candidates for the ideas they represent, not for opponents. This year the winning candidate received be slashed down without the 456 votes with a total offour running. writer. their personal idiosyncrasies. Before the OSMP One letter to the editor claimed the Scary Monsters' arrived student union politics was getting stale. Now, about the Scary Monsters. The Cord is joke campaign was "criminal" and used slanderous What conclusion can be drawn? The OSMP brought willing to provide space this week to present a remarks. Were the Monsters trying to win by straying life to WLUSU politics. The Monsters are not number of arguments, both supporting and outside ethical boundaries? criminals." However, their display of "cheap-shot" condemning the OSMP and their actions. We will Had the Monsters felt so strongly about student politics at the candidate's forum undermined the apathy, they could have run a objective observance of the platforms. Monsters could run more on subject they serious but offbeat only letters this if have campaign. Perhaps some parody is healthy, but be derisive, and other candidates could not; that's something new to say about the issues. criticism concerning election campaigns is subjective where an injustice occurred. This approach will be used in similar situations in the future. The Cord letters page is an open forum. We Cord sports think winning is only thing consider it our job to keep it from deteriorating What is considered to be "athletic Cord. Now one might question how he Laurier Student Body our women's and into repetitive war of words. Instead it should be a success?" Today, we find that there are came to this very strong assumption men's badminton teams improved tre- battlefield for new ideas. two extremes to the definitional spec- when he never came out to support nor mendously from start to finish. Our trum. Such cliches as "It doesn't matterif even enquired about our team's show- women's team improved from winning Fire away. you win or lose, its how you play the ings at our monthly tournaments. How- only one match in our first tournament to game," and "winning isn't everything, its ever, at the conclusion of our season he win a total of seven matches at RMC the only thing" can be termed as defini- can claim it was "bad" according to our January 24th and 25th. It was not menti- tions of athletic success. final win-loss statistics, yet he has no idea oned however, that our second seeded Apparently, our sports editor and how well our team members improved player, Anita Debruyn progressed reporter adopt the later position as over the season. throughout the season to win her first implied by the headline, "BadBadminton To broaden the horizons of both, the two singles matches ever at RMC. In Season" in the Feb. sth issue of the sports editor, his department, and the addition, Sherri Chuter played up a seed to Editorial opinions areapproved by the Cord Editorial Board on behalf of Cord staff due an injury to our third seeded and are independent of the University, the Students' Union and the Student player, despite this she played remarka- Publications Board bly well. One must not forget our first seeded EDITORIAL BOARD were this player and coach, Sally Lichtenberg, Three letters withheld week for lack of who put in a lot of time, effort, and skill Matt Johnston, Editor-in-Chief Erika Sajnovic. News Editor space. They into this years team during practise and Eric Beyer, Associate News Editor Anne-Marie Tymec. Entertainment Editor were letters of thanks from Karen tournament play. Robert Furlong, Sports Editor Corl Ferguson, Production Manager Bird, Scott Piatkowski and Gesa Wisch, all Turning to the men's team they had a The Cord WeeWy is published during the fall and winter academic terms. Offices fairly good showing with close matches are located on the second floor of the Student Union Building at Wilfrid Laurler successful director candidates in last week's throughout the season. Bob Hewson University, 75 University Ave. W.. Waterloo. (519) 884-2990. The Cord is a member of and Jim Brindley competed in their very Canadian University Press and the Ontario Community Newspaper Association. election. first badminton season and should be Copyright ©1987, WLU Student Publications. No part of the Cord may be reproduced without the permission of the Editor. Continued on page 11 THE CORD WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 11 COMMENT

Except for the fact that WCRI gives a Continued from page 10 high preference to students, it has commended for their valiant efforts as nothing to do with anyof the universities. together they were successful in winning Letters Myself being a Laurier student, I match, deplore the fact that my own paper does Question a doubles in addition to Bob Hewson's individual win against RMC's to the not recoginze WCRI as being its own Fabio Corvaglia and Steve McLean independent entity. Many other Laurier played well all season. students belong to the co-operative and, I will admit that our team, as a whole, Editor like myself, are very proud of doing so. did not fair very well but progressive For your interest, we are now adding All letters must be double- 94 units (apartments) the form of Week improvement as a result early in the of morning of By Dave Wilmering and Erika Sajnovic practises at 6:30 am five days a week can spacedand include a student townhouses, that will accomodate ap- certainly be seen as dedication. As a number and telephone proximately 300 more students — Laur- result of this continuous hard work we number. Deadline for letters ier students included. With this addition, improved tremendously which more is Monday noon on WCRI, with its 900residents, will become at the the largest student idea of the ultimate romantic fantasy for importantly can be viewed as athletic week of publication. owned, built and What is your success. operated co-operative residence in Can- Valentine's Day? Therefore, I feel that it would have ada and the second largest in North been more appropriate to have com- financial position to do so than any other America. mented on over all improvement, an province. If this province is going to tie its In the future, I would suggest you element obviously ignored. As a final future to an educated population, then research more accurately the content of note, a bad review based on improper the government (any party) must be wil- the printed articles — especially the front facts and ignorance is hard to take but a ling to put the tax money into the hands page ones, and the ones dealing with bad review is even harder to accept with of students who need it. Raising tuition such important issues as student names spelled incorrectly. This action is and debt loads will only frustrate that housing. very insensitive and frustrating which goal. If you would like more information simply boils down to complete incom- Finally, Mr. Scearce does not ade- concerning Waterloo Co-operative Res- petency. (i.e. Debrayn-Debruyn, quately consider the financial situation idence Inc., please do not hesitate to Her! Chutes- Chut e r, Ella-EWec, which faces graduate students. Grads contact myself or the office located at Hughson-Hewson. already assume a heavy debt load, and 280 Phillip Street (884-3670). I should Steve Giustizia In conclusion, let us hope that the on top of this the years following gradua- also add thatthe simple fact of driving, or

— — 2nd Year Doodling remainder of Laurier's minor sporting tion are often the years when even walking but not flying by the place teams still involved in competition are greater debts must be assumed, whether would reveal a sign informing you that fairly evaluatedand reported. incontinued education, orforbasic living WCRI is "built, owned and operated by needs. students". Susan Eller No, Mr. Jones need not sell the farm to Claude Cantin put the kids through school. But neither Editor's note: We plead guilty with an should students have to put themselves explanation — the "reporter" was a in greater debt than they already are. Lust and love member of the badminton team. Rob Crocker "Sometimes I think I love you, but I know it's only lust." GANG OF FOUR "You mistook my lust for love, Writerresponds didn't you?" IMAGES IN VOGUE.

Down with debt My,my,my ... this seems to be pretty a Gosh, uh, I don't know. I To address James Smilsky's letter in topical issue doesn't it? Yes boys and While a great deal of words have been last week's Cord concerning my Jan. 15 girls, Valentine's Day is just two days would like to get rid of this wasted on the recent elections and the article on The Gruesomes, I would like to away, and have you got a plan in action wart on the end of my nose. antics of the Scary Monster Party (note put across the following points: on how to seduce that lust of yours? As how some of the more "democratic" 1) I did not make a "commit" in the most people know by now, love is a feel- folks would have banned them from run- ing that is hard to describe. There are M. Wort Entertainment section of The Cord, I Lucy Groupie ning) the more realistic concerns of stu- made a comment in the Entertainment alot of things to be said about love but Show dents were passed over, concerns such section of The Cord. we're not sure what they are, or who as university underfunding. 2) The band Spice can hardly be con- they're said by. Not everyone's been in The Jan. 29 Cord, in the Guest News sidered a "rock" band. Their brand of love but they have been in lust... and for Column, carried "Students should pull music can be much more appropriately those of you who haven't, we suggest own weight", by David Scearce. After labelled as a blend of reggae, soca, and you get your hormone levels checked finishing it I had to check again to see if it calypso. out. Now we would like to concentrate was indeed the Cord 1 was reading orthe 3) When I said that The Gruesomes on what we know best, LUST. Globe and Mail's Financial Report. "Is were the first real band to appear at the You've been lusting after someone for David Scearce a pseudonym for Conrad Turret this school year, I meant that they sometime now and Valentine's Day is Drinking champagne in a Black?", Iasked myself. "Is thisa student were the first recording artists (a.k.a. just two days away. If you're a serious heart-shaped Jacuzzi filled newspaper I'm reading?" For there was bands that put out records) to make an luster, you know that deadlines like this someone advocating that students appearance. Recording artists that won't interfere with your life. But if with bubble bath, with your should drop their "idealistic stance" and played the Turret last year included you're one of those people that dreams favorite man. assume greater debt loads. Images In Vogue, FM, The Shuffle Dem- hours on end through classes that the Now, before continuing, I must admit ons, and the Rebels. special lust will come to their senses, and Forgotten I apolog- Jill Kalbfleisch & Lizann that many of Scearce's suggestions for ize if my wording was and send you a card, then this article is for solving university underfunding are caused some confusion. you. Certainly, your lust has absolutely Flatt sound.Seeking out a wider base for fund- 4) There is no validity at all to Smils- no idea that you are madly in lust with 2nd Year Honours English ing, through corporate backing and ky's argument which connects past them. Maybe you've met this special alumni canvassing, is necessary not only events at the Turret with upcoming person but more than likely not. If you for solving funding problems but also for events at Wilf's and coming attractions have talked to this person you've said guaranteeing academic independence. to the Friday night movie series in IEI. something like, "Ya, that prof is a hard Universities should not be dangled on 5) The"Letters to the Editor" section marker," instead of, "I've watched you the economic strings of governments to of The Cord should not be permitted to walk into class everyday, and when I see the extent that they are constricted in be used as a forum topromote upcoming you I collapse." what they can offer. WLUSU events. There is already one What we now present to you are some However, raising tuitions, cancelling complete page in the newspaper devoted untraditional approaches to meet your grantsand increasing student loan debts to that singular purpose. lust. are not, in my eyes, acceptable solutions. 6) I suggest that Mr. Smilsky should 1.) If you want something, ask for it. Scearce's notion of 'personal financial stop watching so many James Dean Just go up and ask that person out on a responsibility' is as idealistic a notion as movies. The Business Director seems to "date. Flowers, chocolates, wine free tuition, perhaps more so given the be "a rebel without a cause." 2.) People have used their heads for and the rest is censored. real financial situation facing students billboards in the past, so why not shave and graduates. I wonder if Mr. Scearce Steve McLean the lust's initials on your head. has seriously considered the position of 3.) Send them a musical recording of Leda Monticelli those eighteen year olds he says should all your favourite songs, (i.e. "This is not 4th Year Wilfs "pay for themselves". After graduating a love song" PIL, "Pump it up" ELVIS high-school I worked for several years WCRI not UW COSTELLO, "Nice a Sleazy" before attending university and I know STRANGLERS, "Get it on" T. REX, the difficulties in finding jobs that pay I would like to clarify a misleading title "Let's go to bed" CURE) enough for day to day living, never mind of an article of the Cord Weekly of 4.) And we don't think it's in poor taste pay enough for education costs. Thursday, Februarys,l9B7 (last week's). to send a condom with a beer to some- Scearce also makes the point that all The article in question appears on the one at the Turret. students are not createdalike, especially front page of the paper and reads If you're a true lustful person who lusts in financial matters. Yet his suggestion "Council rejects proposal to waive lot everyday you're an artist. Just as profes- for eliminating the grant program and levies on UW co-op". sional drinkers leave the scene for ama- disregarding individual and parental 1 have been a member and resident of teur drinkers on New Year's Eve, you assets in effect contradicts this. Yes, the Waterloo Co-operative Residence should leave Valentine's Day for the O.S.A.P. standards forjudging need are (WCRI) for more than five years and romantic fools at heart. Oh, and for you Ice Fishing. faulty, and yes, loans and grants should always feel offended when people asso- hopeful people, studies indicate that lust

be made available to a greater number of ciate it with the University of Waterloo. leads to love ... sometimes. students. Ontario, on a per capita basis, WCRI has been built by students, is Tim Deweert spends less on education than several owned by the studentswho are members, Harry Harrison 3rd Year Business other provinces, yet is in a far better and is fully operated by its members. and Rob Madigan WLULA By Ron Shuttleworth

I don't think you can print that. Kelly Hilson Ist Year Honours Comp. THE CORD WEEKLY 12 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987

( WLU Announces Student Publications SUPER SPECIALS Positions Open for Next Year The WLU Student Publications Board of Directors, MONDAY- TUESDAY as publishers of the Cord Weekly, Keystone Yearbook, ALL YOU CAN EAT SOLE O 7Q WLU-er/Weekly Planner, Student Wall Calendar and Garden fresh salad, vegetable and choice of potato or rice. ■ m %M Student Directory; oversees the budgetary and policy-making of this semi-autonomous & areas HADDOCK CHIPS A QR organization. Although board members have no with Cole Slaw "W ■ V editorial power, they ensure that the staff and volunteers have the necessary resources to produce WEDNESDAY these publications. Specific duties include the hiring \ FULL POUND OF QUEEN CRAB LEGS 11 9R of staff and budget preparation. Vegetable and choice of potato or rice. I I ■Sm I# Minimum Time Commitment: 5 hours/week HALF POUND A QK with any meal The President of WLU Student Publications, in addition to fulfilling the role of a director, takes care of the daily THURSDAY - FRIDAY administration of the corporation which ranges from ALL YOU CAN EAT SHRIMP n -A holding Board of Directors' meetings to negotiating Breaded shrimp, garden fresh salad, vegetable and signing various contracts. The President also and choice of potato or rice. B J represents the corporation on the WLUSU Operations Management Board. All specials include a freshly baked sour dough loaf. Minimum Time Commitment: 30 hours/week. The successful candidate must reside in the K-W area over the summer months. This position receives substantial remuneration.

Fully licensed ila' iV Applications and more information are available at the I J King & Weber Student Publications' office ' \ ts '' Waterloo 2nd Floor Student Union Building ®■ rW I |«112 112 \)/ 22/— (iust south of Expressway) Deadline for applications is February 26/87 at 4 pm ■» SEAFOOD All positions are open to all registered students of 884-0110 } WLU and cross-registered students of U of W. j Applications ] | For The Position Of I j Don I Residence Halls 1 | 1987/88 | | =...are now being accepted. I I Application Forms and Job Descriptions I I are available in the Housing Office. I I Closing Deadline I I 4:30 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 25/87 1 I All applicants must attend mandatory meeting, I t 6 p.m. Thursday, Februaiy26 in P1025-27 112 THE CORD WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 13 Canada undressed distinct society. In Quebec federalism "The Patriot Game: National and separatism are debated over what is Dreams and Political Realities," By best for Quebec, not for Canada. "More Brimelow, (Key Porter, Peter 310 than they ever were, French Canadians pages, $24.95). of Quebec are on their own ..." wrote are what justify"Canadian content" laws historian and journalist Peter Desbar- in the media, foreign investment controls ates, to which Brimelow adds "and that and the National Energy Program. was four months before Quebec elected Brimelow finds the Pierre Berton kind its first separatist government." English- of Canadian nationalism in the same way Canada with all its bilingual and bicultural the little boy saw the Emperor's clothes programs can do nothing to change this

— as non-existent. Canada is not a reality. Economics is the sole justification nation based on an independent, distinct for Quebec to remain in Canada. But culture, only a political expression uni- Brimelow questions as to how long this ting two distinct nations divided on ethno- argument will last with the growing Fran- linguistic lines. One of them, English cophone entreprenurial class. Canada, is in turn divided into three or While Snider and Toronto-based Mac- five regional sub-components separated lean's sneers at The Patriot Game, by miles of prairies, rocks, mountains another newsmagazine in the other Can- and salt water. The much-hated Ameri- adian "fault line" welcomed it "with de- cans are separated by man-made boun- light." The Western Report (formerly daries and fresh water. The regional enti- The Alberta Report) notes that "the principal losers this Liberal-imposed Cord reporter Alex Greerreviews the ties of English Canada and the United in order... are western Canadians." book, explaining it as a response to Can- "Whether the blocks territory States are components of what Brimelow Quebec form of calls "greater English-speaking North needs concessions whereas the West ada and the Canadian Question, written constituting the Dominion Canada of America." Brimelow also dismisses Can- with a smaller population finds itself in 1891 by Goldwyn Smith who advo- can for ever be kept by political agen- adian anti-Americans as "imported raped, being forced to pay high costs for cated union with the United States. The cies united among themselves and American liberals.... The only difference Eastern manufactured goods and having contemporary criticism which greeted separate from their Continent, of which was Canadian to charge below world gas and oil prices The Patriot Game is analyzed and some geographically, economically, and with that what liberals de- nounced as American, American liberals to the rest of Canada. To top it off of Brimelow's major observations of the exception Quebec ethnologically, of Reaganite". Ottawa imposes the National Energy Canadian politics and societies, many of they are parts, is the Canadian denounced as Program which Brimelow suggests was which Greer feels are valid, are outlined question." Regarding The Patriot Game's chap-

ters on English/French relations in the "really a National Political Program ... in this fascinating review. Goldwyn Smith, 1891. Liberal era, Maclean's reviewer Snider subjugating the burgeoning politically misrepresents Brimelow as a 'conspiracy deviant West". new Canadian state did not meet the kook.'"English Canada's British heritage With a culturally divergent Quebec social and economic needs of its people. has been systematically subverted," and an economically divergent West, Forcing commerce in east/west direc- Snider quotes Brimelow, but adds that Brimelow can conclude only that separa- uare proud of being a 'True Grit' tions, between Ontario, Quebec, the the English-born Forbes editor finds the tism in either region is far from dead. The then this book will anger you. If you're Maritimes and the West instead of closer Quebeckers, Catholics and ethnic mino- PQ may be out but, according to Bri- NDP this book is not for your bedtime American markets was unnatural; Can- rities as the "culprits." Actually Brimelow melow, "the movement towards a nation- reading either. Even Tories will be irked ada's real destiny, according to Smith, states from the outset he respects the state has been the primary trend of Fran- by the scene with Joe Clark pleading was union with the United States. integrity of French Canadian national- cophone history ... minority trends may ignorance about economics when asked The Patriot Game does not advocate ism; the Roman Catholic Church is por- oscillate,... but the long run direction will about free trade, to say nothing of the the same solution for The Canadian trayed as a moderating influence against eventually reassert itself." As to western dismal picture of Brian Mulroney. Question but does follow-up where Francophone extremism. Rather the separatism Brimelow says it needs only But British-born business journalist Smith's classic left off. Brimelow begins "real culprits" are the British and Anglo- "a leader — and about another ten Peter Brimelow anticipated that The Pat- with an update and rehashing of Cana- Canadian establishments. The former years." riot Game would receive hostility in da's isolated population clusters, there- gave up the empire in the post-World It would be tragic if separatism did some quarters as his preface notes that fore agreeing with Smith's thesis about War II era which left the latter with a happen, since we have all been together he is about to deliver some "shocking Canada's achilles heel. Smith was critic- crisis situation in justifying Canada's for so long, but one has to recognize and unwelcome observations" about ized for being insenitive to the emotional existence. Liberalism emerged on the Canada for what it is. Brimelow writes Canadian political culture. From insignif- reality which held together Canada, or ashes of imperialism and carried with it that Canada could become a "second cant details, reviewer Norman Snider of rather English-Canada — its attitude of confederation's frailities and generates Switeriand, with a standard of living MacLean's contends that Brimelow is being "Greater Britain" beyond the seas. the sub-ideologies to hold together the higher than the U.S." and while he does "comically inept" and comes "close to As an anti-irnperialist Smith doubted the fault lines. not pontificate over Canada's future the racist sentiment." Brimelow himself is a strength and endurance of the Imperial Throughout Confederation'sfirst quar- Switeriand comparison is valid. Ethni- former business editor of MacLean's, loyalty, but Brimelow notes he "was ter century English and French Canada cally diverse Switeriand is held together

— former staffreporter with The Financial utterly wrong, as two world wars demon- were held together by the MacDonal- by a weak not strong — central Post, and now as the senior editor of strated." But what of the new post-war d alliance. "When this man (Mac- government. German, Italian and French Forbes, Brimelow took Snider's review Canada? Brimelow tries to answer this donald) is gone who will take his place? Swiss do not impose anything on each with a laugh when he spoke in Toronto question. Who else could make Orangemen vote other and their confederation has existed last October. Like it or not the central With the collapse of the British Empire for Papists, or induce half the members for about seven centuries. If Canada is to message of ThePatriot Game can not be since World War 11, Canada was left with of Ontario to help in levying on their pro- survive it perhaps could apply the Swiss ignored. an ideological vacuum to justify its exist- vince the necessary blackmail for model on a grander scale. Peter Brimelow, a graduate of Sussex ence. What emerged is what Brimelow Quebec?" were questions answered by The Patriot Game is written with a (8.A.) and Stanford (M.8.A.) Universi- loosely terms the "liberal ideology." Lib- Wilfrid Laurier, who forged an alliance of witty and journalistic style and can be ties, sees his work as an update of Gold- eralism is composed of many ideologies Ontario's Clear Grits and Quebec's easily understood. Whether one agrees wyn Smith's Canada and the Canadian which Brimelow argues are realpolitik Rouge. This was the foundation of Lib- with Brimelow or not, one can not ignore' Question which caused a similar stir in ploys aimed at maintaining Liberal Party eral dominance in twentieth century the observations he presents. While many 1891.Smith was an English historian who hegemony in Ottawa. Canada. The strategy, according to Bri- learned minds disagreed with Goldwyn left his position at Oxford for Cornelland One such ideology is Canadian na- melow, has been to gain all seats jn Smith in late Victorian Canada, his obser- eventually settled in Toronto. Smith saw tionalism. Many of us often take our French Canada and a significant amount vations were considered valid. While Canada as a land "rich by nature, but nationality for granted and many Cana- in a divided English Canada, mainly from rimelow has not gained the respectful poor by policy." Canada and the Cana- dians, especially those excersing influ- Ontario, a strategy which "requires con- disagreement as did his predecessor, one dian Question contended that the young ence on public opinion, accept it almost tinual concessions to Quebec" at the can predict that his book will be read a confederation was an artifical entity as religious faith that despite a common expense of the west and the east. hundred years from now. The only ques- which benefited only select groups of pol- language and some cultural pursuits Conspiracy did not produce conces- tion is whether The Patriot Game pre- iticians and businessmen within the Canadiansare completely different from sions but rather the reality of confedera- dicted the inevitabel, or the possible con- Toronto-Ottawa-Montreal triangle. The our neighbours to the south. Such claims tion. Quebec is, has, and will be always a sequence of the "Canadian Question". THE CORD WEEKLY CORD 14 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1987 THE WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 15 Happy Valentine's Day!!

BABYCAKES: I love you CURTIS: Roses are red, violets Danny Boy: Stick to spaghetti Dear Amayliyia: Have a great E-I-C: Happy Valentine's to a LISA Thanks for being a - B. Beyer: 'cause you're my special little are blue. I'm the luckiest girl, dinners mushy Mars bars just Valentine's Day you TREMEN- guy who's been tons of help this HEATHER: I think you're kind Mister Marvin wishes friend. Happy Valentines Day. you a happy V-day and asks Baby Boy on every day of the 'cause I got you! Thanks for aren't your style! Happy DOUS human being you. year. S.O.U.P. was a blast. of special! Happy Valentine's Anna that you would move to an year, including today. Happy sixteen wonderful months. Valentine's Day! Love, L. Let's do it again sometime. The Day, baby! Love ya, S.A. easier address to find. EntHead. Valentine's Day! Love your Love, Joan. Dave: You are truly the best shopping fiend. Monique: long LEMONs as arule are sour but I JSK. Dear I for another thing that ever happened to me! HAPPY VALENTINE'S to all you're think sweet! Happy — CORI: You're my hero. candlelight dinner with cham- Wendy XXOO ERIC: Life is bonspiel. , My Italian Tiger You drive I love you! a the wonderful women at 748 < Valentine's Day! Graphically BABE! Won'tyou be my Valen- Rockabilly, Woolco, and Wah pagne and roses. You mean a Remember that. Happy St. V's (soon to be of 7th H.) Love ya, me crazy someimes but I will yours. tine once again? Love ya. Ming. P.S. Love the way you great deal to me and I miss you. Dear Knife: I only have eyes for Day and I hope you get some "Shirley". M always love you. Your Tigger. — I K A dress shades, shoes, coat, Happy Valentine's Day Sweet- Lonely Sabre xxxxxxxooooooo Love, Mikey drawers. It's fun you! The silk scorves are no to have — see that there are no To all LISA and Jackie- To the zombie MATTKA How goes it oh socks, hair colour ... I I's. K.G.: to my favourite guy in heart A.C.A.C.: Valentine's awaiting my return. Love you piles. A. HAPPY V.D. ...ay S.T.A.L.L. strange one? Didn't think I'd Happy those who didn't get a Waterloo — Keep smiling and and the yodelling cowgirl, don't BARBARA LYNN: If we sur- Dave: So things didn't work out, forever and probably longer, Kisses, kisses, and more!! Love forget to typeset a note to my Day, my friend. Sugar-bear Valentine's keep those blue eyes sparkling. be such strangers. Happy Marvin: I can relate with the vive PSCI226 it'll be a miracle. CHREEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS: but her roommate still thinks Peanut butter legs Ent. Writers (especially Steve, me. xo cohort in craziness did 'cha? you're you're and Mike): Where's I miss your inspirational pep Valentines Day. Love ya, miss way ya feel — I'm there myself. I'm glad we're friends. Happy Just remember, the best. great! Chin up and have Kirk my — ANNE: A new one for a new ya. 748 Have a great V-day even if he Valentine's Day. Cori. Excepting me, of course. From a Happy Valentine's Day! Dudley: Thanx for a "tre- Valentine?signed, the best darn HUNNY BUNNY: Roses are talks. Luv Q.B. But hanging around parking type of relationship. No regrets won't take you out! Mike. for the True Love-God. mendoo" bus trip down to entertainmenteditor in the world. red, violets are blue, you're my garages millenia don't help. (or at least not many). Re- KELLY: Thanks for being such LA URA, Funny how life always M BRIAN AND JIM: You're fun, D.A.D. (the weirdo): Happy Toronto and back. You sure can little mushroom, and I LOVE Je te souhaite mille member the good of the past, a terrific roomie this year. Never looks so much better when we're Mile. Munro: you're dancing fools and you're CUTE LAV: I hope I can sleep Valentine's Day! Thanks for chug 'em and spill 'em! Just a "ERIK-A": Congrats. From YOU! Three great years. Love sourires et mille journees replis but look forward to the future as has school been so fun. Love together, I guess we '11 just have My Fishing Nut: How about you sex gods. What else could 3 on your warm waterbed and act being there. W.G. W new "friend"! GRIEF! Darlene here on in I hope we can work as you always, my 8888888. de soleil. Joyeux St. Valentin well. YFA (so there's no doubt) Christina. to stay that way. I love you and me taking a canoe ride in desperate women want? Love as a billygoat. Happy Valentine. a team. Your humble "CO". xox Babs. Kiddo. Bob ma copine. AMT. the 172 sex kittens. D.D.: Happy Valentine's Day Dave M: the distinctive ad rep Guelph Lake some hot after- ALAN: Hang in there, up in KELLY G. You've made it the noon? Love, the one who listens C.F.: How does it feel now that to a GREAT host. May our -you could sell ice cubes to an HAPPY Valentine's Day to the to wait My, my. don't think I could Peterpatch (don't let all that best ever. Love, Jamie. LK: Too bad we have I to fishing stories. my — J year your XOXO BERNSKI: To favourite ad you have a real live position paths cross often in the future! Eskimo. From the chick with newest members of the "Get until April 30th for our Valen- speak ze french to ya Mam, but English get to you). Remember: JANA and Linda: Why did it etc. manager. Your cheeriness you're starting to look the part. Love, S the distinctive voice and her Naked" club: Walter and his tines Day — JB I can speak another language I love you very much. Happy take us so long to find out that KAMLOOPS- it would make always makes me smile. Eric "B". friend, the p.m. chest and the guys from A3W. — yipyiyyipyipyipyipyipyipyip! Valentine's Day. Juliet. we make a good party team? my day ifyou called- thinking of MEZ: I want you. Love, the Looking forward to some heavy- D2W: Happy Valentine's and Love ya!! Have a great day! The typesetter Right on! Luv Deb. you- Maria. LORI: Happy Valentines Day! man of your dreams duty partying in Windsor. CRAIG CASS: Thanks for all have a good reading week - D.D.V.H.: All have to is ALISON: If a second lasts an I say Have dinner with me before its Happy Valentine's Day. Corski. your support. I really needed it. Spiderman 117, year, okay? CAP HEATHER: I love sheep. Madonna, oh luscious one, I'd eternity in time, Could you take D 2 next JANE (Spike): Roses are green, KRAZY AL: How about a too late, the Marxist Revolution Mastercharge: If you show me You're a really good friend. Andrew, xoxo never treat you "like a virgin" a minute to be my Valentine? violets are orange and so are Sicilian trim? From your fellow is getting close. Love Sless your card, I'll show you how to BELLY-BONE: Luv you. R.F. Happy Valentine's Day. Cori. Dan J.S.:I could "hardly" let Dear Lady Hawks (B-Ball): Be mine! Lustfully yours; D. Love Paul. Valentine's HAPPY Valentine's Day your shoes. Keep those hugs niche leaders, Joe, Nancy, and use it! I promise I'll be gentle, Day go by without Thanks for taking me under Fluter»Sweeney: I'd flibble with LYNN - A Happy Valentine's Wilmering coming, luv your partner in Mez. see ya'at dinner. Love, Whimpy BEEBEE, Naihoma! Nay fong wishing you a happy one. M.K. your wing on the 4th. Great luck Momma Deb. Love the gang. ANGELA, Barb and Holly: C.A.R.: Happy Valentine's Day ya anytime, ya just gotta ask. crime. Riddle from a friend: Who Mark: Calculations indicate that chow pay! Was it you? Still in the playoffs! Happy Valen- "It's alright to talk about the guzzles - Happy Valentine's day from to someone who's pretty special. Dear Lorna: Thanks for the KIRK, You're too cool. Thanx Brown Cows but loses you + me 2 people, in love, Mark: The results are in! You've hope you have a happy Valen- tine's Day - Rob HAPPY Anniversay Punky, ES. Friends forever. (?) flibbling..." Snug Tymec Jamie: are I for the beer. Anna. at squash?!? + passed your favourite roommate. & & Looking forward to our rendez- 2-gether 4-ever. Love always, according to C3. Happy tine's Day. L. L. Smirk. endless sleepless talks, that Love Punkin. thank God you're mine. Jeff. vous this weekend! N.M.B. often concern my problems. Sandra Valentine's Day! Teresa. P.S. Dear Dr. Blood Kitten: Your For Fred: Its a good thing there girl LYNN — A query from the You're a great roomie. Happy HEY DUDE! Maybe we should KAREN Wylie: To the who This is not a recording! BLOWFISH: You can drool on father says"I told not to do JEANETTE: — Here's to CARA-BEAR: is great you is 52 weeks in the year or we It won't be the drives me crazy in four classes. I typesetter I thought you told ANNA BANANA: me anytime! Happy Valentine's Life with Valentine's Day! hold Sociology study sessions Mark P.: You 're the cutest center soup, hippest, and freezing in lots of burn-outs with the Pony, god- might never play squash... Can same without you next year. really wish I could get up the me that you always won those spice in my apple ... Day to the best boyfriend a P.C. pie! in the games room tennis who's ever played football! Matt E: You have the nicest curling rinks. Hope we survive Love Cookie Monster. damnit!" Well, happy cruisin'! you forget something that many You ARE a great friend! Here's nerve to talk to you. squash games? Have a happy Valentine's Day!! — Chef: Teach anyone? Happy Happy D.D. eyes, have you're the Dear me your tricks ? Valentine's, wishing I would like to get to know could Keep looking huge! Signed, ** you the best in the next and CHYM chick on times Happy V. Day. Dave nc day! year, in the kite her and I'll be your sexy . you better. greatest! I love you! (smack Oli future! Your roomie Lynn. Douglas Keep L revenge. Happy Valentine's! eternal Valentine! All my love, KIRK Nielson: Mez, Kath: We may be white smack smack)! P.C. CORDIES: Thanks for all your Freather and Head: To one of smiling the pissa monster LADY: Dare to be ravished for Public Enemy 1. J.J. Valentine's Day to or but we do have the JAMAICAN Michael: still love you though help organizing, typing, and Dave W: Thanks for your love the nicest couples I know. That HAPPY JEFF- the man who wears M. Happy your Valentine's treat?Or would I I everyone at the Cord. You're will get you. Valentines rhythm. Just wait and see! really BEV: You're my Valentine laying out all this stuff. Happy and care. Happy V-Day! Love, is, when you're not playing Here's to a profitable summer-J. you rather split a box of don'tknow why at times. AMT: After February 5 live the niftiest group of people I've Day. That crazy production Friends forever, cookie because you're so edible. Valentine's!! - Sue. Dear "Universal's" Son: Sorry EAS cards with each other. Now, be chocolates...l'll eat the yukky our golden theatre at Laurier could never met. chick. Mikey: Sentimentality and treasure. From your Hungry Tim-bit. I missed at Taps last Thursday. nice to each other or I'll tell JOANNE Remember the 10th. ones! Tramp I Like Mike! Your be the same. Keep up the good cuteness strike! There is no darling, XXOO I'd like a rain check! Happy V- Dirt (Thompson): Happy V-Day, Chris to throw away his cards.. Forget the 13th. Wear it but if KILLER muffin to all tenants work. Eric "B ". The typesetter and classified co- escape! Happy Valentine's Day! Morning Sunshine — you lose it... Valentines on 397 Hazel, (especially cute BRAD: Day, you Powder Puff coach, little buddy. See you in the great Happy V.D.! Dave EVER LOVE GOD: Big talk, no Mokey ordinator wish to thank the & have photos — will sell. you! Smiles, "D" white north, is tonight. Miss you next week. I pajamas) Happy Valentine MARINA AMT: Thanxs for being my big (hopefully) Have action.... Love, the W.F. MUNRO: Happy fun skiing. S writer ofthe above.... THANKS! mean it. have a nice reading week. Valentine's Day! sister. Happy V-Day. Love Mom, Dad and David: Happy And thanks Dudley: When we rubbed noses, Moon someone for all the kisses. Graphically EAS. HAROLD: I love you! I'm also JOSIE: Always ready to give LITTLE I can Valentine's Day to my terrific I knew you were a winner! The Dearest Vic Happy Valen- count on to know and under- yours. Q: glad I win bets! Agnes. support and a fun time. Have a family. Thanks for all the roses were tasty, now how about Day tine's handsome!!! Luv, good valentines day. C&J stand. Someone I can count on support this year. Love, dinner?Happy Valentine's Day, to give a helping hand. Rita HAPPY heart day to Cori, Friends Christina MASCOT of the Cord: Here's sweetheart! Fredericha, Mattilda, Scoop- JO & Erin; roses are red, violets forever one more for ya! Keep up the D Dear Dumai Man: Consider this are happy good work. The typesetter. anne, the two Ericas, Annie, blue. You're the greatest Mike Wert: Your smile PS. Dave Cummings: We've fallen Valentine's wish: a bill for and Cordia. friends i ever knew. Happy LOVE to know you in the nude brightens my days. Happy Cori wants to know how to do DEAR ROB M: Happy Valen- in love you. $18.67 for the Constitutional G Valentines Day!-Josie Brian Thompson! You ooze sex Valentine's Day and remenber that earring trick. Do you give with When you slip tine's to my fav. Biologist. SW Cake. Love, the publisher GRAHAM: As long as I have into your of — you're appeal! Your secret admirer. that I' behind you. Cori seminars? kilt, we all wilt. Happy you, there is no need for HUEY LEWIS the >c WW Happy Valentine's cutest. just your JOANNE Valentines L Day, sesy legs... Chocolate. Happy Valentine's And I love V: special Day to girl CORRIE: You are a Dear Kitty d'chat: You're so Love, the captain and his crew Day, Hun! Love Margie, xxooox music! Will you be my Valen- the who can make b* — always friend. Thanks for babysitting cute and cudely, soft and quiet, D.I.S. Thank you for tine? me turn "red". Thanks for your when needed it. I'd do the Darlene being there. Happy Valentine's friendship. Best wishes, the 8.L.: "You should know how I me I affectionate and pure, yet you W.: Why worry GORDON: I guess it's not justa pal Day. Love, forever and a day. — dangerous feel by now!" Love, K.C. xox same for you anytime. Your still won't sleep with me, so will about "screwing" guy no. 15 day like any other day; it's HEY DAVE you should driver. XXOO Joan. you please my when no. 2 loves P. M.S. realize by now that it pays to be be Valentine. you the most! special because I'll be here to JOE R Happy V day. Sij'avais Love, Bear Danckert. Think about it!Love Erick on the typesetter's good side. spend it with you. I LOVE YOU. le temps...Ca serrait mer- BIF, To a great person, who is a Nice try though CORRIE & JOAN: Have an veilleux! S very special friend. Be my Valentine's Day. Dear Lynne: Roses are red, Doug, you stud: Take me to bed Valentine. Love Bucky & Caky. exciting In HUN: Love and Kisses for other words, let's party! J. violets are blue, life sure is great or lose me forever! I love you Valentine's Day. Roses and JOE, Vince and Tim: where

when I'm with you. Love and - would I be without you guys? more today then yesterday much more on the way. Love Stacey it BARB: I love your big brother! many kisses, what a life. Love, CMS Always Schmooky Well, I'd still be here, but CAROL: I really appreciate > Your (still!) Happy Valentine's Day xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox. wouldn't be as much fun! EW coming home to find food ready to you and yours! Dear Poor Sweet Cindy: Is there Thought you on Monday and Tuesday night. Dear Tim: Please be my JOHN EV. I'd let Valentine. Love, Tim. life for the gimpy on Valentine's Heather: Lots of love for know you're admired from afar Heather. Day? If there is, have good sur- a E« Valentine's! sure you (sometimes from close up!) too BERNIE (pretend you're H Make buy one. Get well soon. Love, Rob prised, 0.K.?), your smile and EULERITES: Thanks for the HOMEWORK BUDDY: Your a car for three... I want aride as bad you're spoken for?? Happy Dearest Wuffy: Happy Valen- numerous laughs, good cheer always brighten my CHRISTINE L: Thanks for late nights, reading skills should be greatly well as Fred! Love Dave Valentines Day! Shy girl. tine's Day to my all time — day. Keep up the good work!! being such a great and "wild" Dear Matula: I hope you have a crazy antics some crazier!! improved by the time you dig P-S. I'll make you a tape for favourite hugger! You still give — friend. Good luck in all you do. spontaneous events, Reading Week. JON: Happy Valentines Happy Valentine's! Sue. me the fuzzies". tremendous Valentine's Day! through these to find the one for hypnotic victim, "warm Love, memorable floor parties, and Day?????S Love the xxoo Teen XOX Love, Rob. P.S. You have the you. Good luck on Exams. most gorgeous eyes! unforgettable friendships. Love Heather. HEY BABY! I missed you last BOY WONDER: This has been Ya. Spandex Queen. weekend. Nina and I wanted to JUDY! Judy, Judy! Happy CAT: You make my heart purr tell a blockbuster movie. Unfor- Dear Bloomer: I love your smile Dave: Not a mushy Valentine HEATHER: Fed Hall, trips you that this Valentine's Valentines Day to the best- Happy ... L.Y.K.Y. Angela. Day will be the best ever. gettable love scenes!! and your sultry wit. I love your but just a friendship note. Good ENT—ED: May Valentine's without homework, lazy Satur- B.J.F. looking, most intimidating F.B. Day. Kiddo. xx partner guy could have! Valentine's hair with its Bruce Willis twist. luck with the president thing. Day bringchocolates, cards and days with or without cartoons a HESSIS, Juliet & 1 Chreees and Schmooka: you I love your personality, your Hope you get an office to your- and a futon, joy rides in a real Sherrie: Surprised? Your number bloody normal sized graphics! Hessie, what's for dinner? Thanx for being my make everyday Valentine's Day charm, your charisma, but best self and the best reason for car — these are some of the Juliet, fan...CW BILLY: no more What would I do around here. If it wasn't so nice, of all Mike, I'm in love with staying in Waterloo this things "stones"!Sherrie, walk bodyguard! we have to look forward much? Happy Joan Happy VD. Love Collin you? Happy V-Day! luv it would be sickening. Have a you. Love, the guy looking at summer. Anyone for nude ENT—ED: And whatever else to together. Valentine's Valentine's Day, without Happy roomies! Josie. (etc) and kisses, THE S.L.U.T. "love"ly day; Snarly Bear you in the mirror squash? Have a happy day. F you desire. McAsh. I love you. F.J. T. THE CORD WEEKLY 16 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987

PENNY H: Happy Valentine's Steve: Happy Birthday on To the paragon of manhood, To Dougie Bear: Valentine's Wish we could get together Valentine's Day. Your friend Happy Valentine's Day. May Day without you — how sad! I sometime!! Thinking of you, Sue Jeff this be the first of many. Hugs can hardly wait till March and and kisses and lots oflove, Your am desperate for October. Take Please remember that the type- Susan: Thanks for all the great Ittle Angel. care. You can do it — make me setter is very special to us and times. Happy Valentine's Day. proud! Lots of love Baby Cakes.

that he deserves a mushy Love Jeff To JR — You're such a big P.S. Happy Valentine's Day my Valentine too. We love ya Mike. STUD!!! But I love ya Anyways! Hand O. 2B P.S.S. Remember: N Sexy: Happy Valentine's Day Happy Valentine's, xxoo — RS don't slay any dragons!! Sweetheart. I love you, 8.8. NEWS GUY: Happy Valentines L&L Dusty xoxo P.S. Mushy To the Schmoo-ster — To a true To Josephine, Hessie, Sherrie Day. Looking forward to sweetheart (even if she does w Mushy and Ruthie: Happy Valentine's Will you be my Valentine Windsor so you'd better come! read the Valentines before they Day and have a great reading from Guess out!).. Happy this day forward til of Who? come Valentine's week; Have fun at work, Ruthie the end SWK— It's comforting to know Day. Love ya... Dave time (preferably longer). That we always — Juliet NOTRE CHERE Shari F. Nous have each other and would be you C.L. Love always always will. All my love — t'aimons enormement et To: Jane & Karen of B5 Your Lass _Q Betty To the dude in the beret and esperons tu nous aimes Hall; are red, que Q: Who's the CLASSiest Bouchaert Roses McGill tee; Windsor or bust eqalement. Le "French violets are blue, if I didn't have WLUSU SLAVE; Thanks Valentine of all? Swift—Heart: Happy Valen- baby! The driver of the red for Connection", V & E. you, I don't know what I'd do. being such a good sport. The A: Happy Valentine's Day, Sue Day! Pony. tine's And thanks for Love DBM window never looked NANCY (without an "e"): Too Wallace. Graphically yours letting me win at squash.. Dave. cleaner bad about the To The Best: Every moment nor did the Cords ever go faster. Turret, but maybe To you stupid good lookings! you is so special. I love you Happy Valentine's! Your fave next time! Hope you have a You've that LOVIN' with She's hot and she's the boss! lost sooooo much, can bet your Cordie Happy Valentine's. Love from FEELING, you Happy Valentine's Jen. We love but we love ya last Cherry Pez on it. T—Bear your Soc. Buddy. ya, baby!! Keep up die good anyway. Happy Valentine's! work. The MANIAC Luv LEO & Rose xoxoxoxo WHITE KNIGHT, Remember MARKETERS. To Jane: Sorry for framing you "Have no fear my lady. Teen: If / had a rainbow for with those harmless practical Together we shall endure you've jokes. We almost lost the winter's rage and soon shall Sugar-Putz (Johhny Midnite): every smile given me this Q year, my would be greatest Don Euler has ever discover summer's delight!" collection Happy Valentine's Day and complete! seen. Love "Master Key Love YOUR FAIR LADY — Thanks! Happy Rob Visions ofyou under our Happy Birthday too. I love you. Valentine's Roomie! Love Culprit" inflatable tree. Carrie and Joan — Macro Mini Mouse. P.S. Kewwy WLUSP BOD: To a great bunch Don't worry, I'll mail you a To Vic Baby: I love you. I need Rob - Suddenly things aren't so copy! of guys. Thanks for giving me a & Stacey, are you. I want you. Your Waterloo o great. Maybe meet To Ckris Roses chance. Happy Valentine's Day. I should 0000-OP-DWOOO — red, are Engineering brains are is that your Happy Violets blue, what more M.B.A. The Cross-Registered Kid. how you housemate? just as exciting as the do it? Happy V.D. Valentine's Day! E. Stormy: Thanks for all your could you ask for~~, than two C.N. Anne. Love Dave. mothering this year. I love you guys from the Sault? Love J 8c B Tower What do I get when I cross a JO Rog Baby: Thanks for being lots! Debbie To a very special Happy with a JO? Drunk! Just kidding there for me. You're the greatest artist, To My Handsome Cop-To-Be: Valentine's Day and here's to guys! I luv ya! Errm friend a girl could have. Happy & This is No. 4 Valentine, but SHARON, Mary, Anne many great times. Love Day. Love Cori more who's counting. me Valentine's Michelle: Happy Valentine's G.M.H. Remember from the girls next door! when you get stationed up north "WLU WLU WLU WLU" Ce (LINDSA Y preferably) que me rappelle de nos jambes! Tammy Love you're the sweetest girl always Tumbleweed Je t'aime beacoup et je veux ever the one Sue, I don'tknow what to say. I I've known and faire les Jeannot Lapins avec means me in guess you know how I feel, who more to this To Jane: Happy Valentine's Day toi. Gros bisous. V.D. P life than anything else. Love YOU ARE GREATEST! from everyone at THE Hug Bug Euler. PAUL: Well another year, And you smell nice too! WWAK another 1000 fights! But & You're wonderful, beautifuland To my at my Wood Driver: seriously, it's been the best. generous to a fault, I hope. Love? sweetheart U of Goo To Brkket — Thank-you for Let's keep it up, Love. Looking P.S. I was surprised! May our weekends only get all the love and forward to Ottawa. Loving you, longer and longer! Love always, happiness these past months. Wendy. Katie Our love is our strength. Your Stephan: & & Sailor John: Here's to smooooth Love Happiness forever Valentine, Jumper xo Pam and Diana: Happy sailing! Happy Valentine's Day Joy are ours to enjoy on this To the BOYS at 73 Columbia: Valentine's Day to two great from your Ist mate. V.L. xoxx> Valentine's Day and always. Although it's been a living hell To roommates. Love Karen. Love forever, Laura our METAL QUEENS: and you have no morals; we We'll RIOT, then X rock with you — Sherry: You were the highlight love anyway your and PAT in the Zoo - Somebody 'housemates' KICK some AXE, engage to a dismal badminton season. Susan, would you be my SODOM(y). X-tra special wishes to all thinks you're cute! Want to in From the Will you be my valentine and Valentine? Love Dave WLUSPers for a great V-day! know who? Happy Valentine's To the girls of BREAKFAST BLOWOUT engage in some off-court C—2: Thanks for (Stack and Klem) May you find whatever form of Day! — making my year practices with me sometime? S thanks for sharing your last at Laurier love you are looking for and you Jim song with me. It was really the best I ever could ilmagine. PETE: Valentines are one of a To Jenny the DON: Chocolates get loads of rest over reading special — so are you. Happy You're the greatest. Love kind and you sure are that. So are sweet but not as sweet as the week. After all, you still have to Valentine's Day ~~ S Marebear. I'll wish you the best and hope Silly ole bear: Here are words Oscar Meyer weiner you will come back for a few more teste on Feb. the 14th. Love months of this place — you'll to fulfill our quest and hope your from another song you won't Sokie: I know the way to your — Valentine is mine. Love pump. "Different eyes see To Lusty and Tits: Wait until ROGER (the —foot—long) need your strength. The recognize: heart... your stomach. Happy the letter; different things/ Different hearts next it's brutal! I'll typesetter Valentine's Day. M. remember you during our (now isn't that better than POKE: As the song says, "You beat on different strings./ But To our METAL Reading Week; Mac sucks! — QUEENS: xylophones Dave?) Mean More To Me..." What there are times for you and me We'll Rock and Fock all night / * * Wurst Lover's University Prez can I say ? You know how I feel. when all such things agree" long on Feb. the 14th. Love As always. Your valentine look forward to those times Mr. Stacker and Violent Phlem forever, Smurf. Wingert TO MY BIG TEDDY BEAR who's so huggable. 50... how Tim: Here's to starting over POOPSIE: Happy Valentine's many beaches are we going to Silly ole bearette: As do I, but this summer? Love your sexy (again). I hope we do it right Day! One, two, three gotcha this time. C. again! Love Sweetums. they seems few and far between playtoy. these days. (Typesetting these things ensures the last word T To my sweetheart, If I fall for PRODUCTION STAFF: no?) you, will you catch me? Be Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy mine?! Love from your L.H. Y To the special one: Happy the break. Thanks for all your Valentine's Day to the best help this year. Your new Steve Howard: I'm glad we're You will never win the great sibling ever!! Lots of love and To Ms. Tymec: Here's one you manager. friends. Happy Valentine's Day rummy competition! Give up. hugs, the favourite haven't read yet. Enjoy the and I hope to have you back on spirit But no matter what happens, I'll of the day — even if you do G.: It's over; want my squad real soon. Cori love you anyway. H. PETER I think it is overrated. (Bah to with your To Snuffles: You're just the nothing do Humbug in AMT nicest person ever. Loveable, February?) sledgehammer. Squirrel Eyes: Happy Valen- The typesetter u huggable, caring and very tine's Day to the best friend a U folks are great! Happy sweet. What more could one girl could have. You're the Valentine's to all WLUSP'ers! and Bam-Bam and ask for? Happy Valentine's Day. To Dave: Sorry, but I'd rather PEBBLES hippest even if you're preppy. Spanky and Buckwheat: You Love. have you mad at me than her. Guess Who? Sooooooo, your valentine stays make my hormones hop! Love as amended (BOD talk) — and schmacks, Lenny and Theresa, Deb and Lidia: Have Snarly-Moose: A challenge? a The typesetter Squiggy (alias the Sex Slipper). wonderful day and a great Anyday you think your man- enough. Give me time, this reading week! the woman in the To Matt: Hope you had a nice PERHAPS you think that this is should be good! basement day off on Sunday whilst we just a filler, and you would be z were ALL slaving away on ZOLTAN THE DESTROYER right! This ad is good for one of those Snookie Hater: Here's to these Valentines! The Staff We want the secret of the memories of the summer, red warm, loving hugs you seem to V Caramilk Bar or we will send try refrain from PENELOPE: I look forward to roses, pink champagne, video like. I'll to To AMT and RAF (esquire): Vlad: You make a good teddy Captain Klaver to your house! seeing you twice a week. It games, trivial pursuit and you. spoiling the moment by Happy Valentine's Day. I didn't bear. Will you be my Valentine? Happy Valentine's Day, but "zerbetting" makes my day! Mr. Hall Little Moon. forget you guys! LCF Love, KL beware! Cordies Anon. THE CORD WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 17 ENTERTAINMENT Smirnoff: More than just good vodka By Kirk Nielsen How did you feel doing the Lite beer commercials? Oh I felt very, very rich. It was a great experience to do the commercial. Making fun of the Russian way of life is how Recently you've become an American citizen. Do you comedian Yakov Smirnoff makes his living. Immigrating feel any different? to the United States in 1977, Smirnoff left the Soviet Oh yeah, now I hate foreigners. They come here and Union far behind. take our jobs. Smirnoff was successful in the Soviet Union but Have you ever played Canada before? never gained the popularity, exposure, or money he Oh yeah, I like Canada a lot. I played Montreal, I has achieved since being in America. He has appeared played Regina. I remember when my agent called me in four movies and done a beer commercial, and co- and told me I was going to play Regina. I never heard stars in the television sitcom What A Country! the name Regina and I said are you sure you want me to Smirnoff now lives in California and drives a vintage play there, sounds sexy! Rolls-Royce. He recently became an American citizen Do you like the weather in the United States better at the July 4th Statue of Liberty festivities. Smirnoff is than the Soviet Union? on a comedy tour which is bringing him to Kitchener I like Los Angeles weather. I love it. February 17th at the Centre in the Square. The Cord You don't miss the cold? Weekly called Smirnoff in Los Angeles and asked him No, no I don't, but I lived in the warm part of the a few questions. Soviet Union, we had temperature go up to four. Yakou, you were a comedian in the Soviet Union What sort of material are you going to be covering on before you immigrated to the United States? this tour? Yes. Weli I talk about being an American, I talk about Were you successful? being from Russia, I talk about things that come, to Very...made a lot of money. In the Soviet Union they everybody's mind and during my show people can ask don't picture people making money and people don't. I me any questions they want and I talk completely freely would make about four or five times more money than on any topic they pick. It's a freedom exercise. doctor or lawyer. But their lawyers don't make much What do you think about the Soviet Union today and because who are you going to defend? You're innocent about Mikhail Gorbachev? 'til you're proven guilty here, there you're guilty until Well, I have not a very popular opinion about this you're executed. That was kind ofa sign of success but situation. I believe that Gorbachev is just a very good otherwise it wasn't that much compared to what's PR person. I think Raisa Gorbachev looks good, that's happening here. one of his PR tricks. She looks better than anything we Could you make fun of anything you wanted in the * had before. When Chernenko's wife at the funeral Soviet Union? threw herself on the casket everyone shivered because You can do that once. a woman like that can wake up the dead very fast. Raisa What happens you do it twice? Gorbachev is like Nancy Reagan. She came to Kremlin, if Russian Comedian YakovSmirnoff will beappearing atthe Centre We 11... they book you a long time. starts redecorating, she took down iron curtain put up in the Square on Feb. 17th. Cord reporter Kirk Neilsen (aka Peter What was your firstjob whenyou got to America? And Venetian blinds. She asked Gorbachev to hang some Parker) spoke with him last week. did you have trouble learning the language? art on Berlin wall, next morning forty guys named Art I first started as bus boy and didn't speak English. I were hanging. When she asked for china everybody got was watching television to learn to speak and 1realized nervous. it was a Spanish station so I had to start all over again. What do you think of Ronald Reagan? Did you go to an English-speaking night class to learn seizure. And I thought I was being good and then people were saying 'Oh I love him, I think he's great. the language? you were killing' and I said no I wasn't killing. They said no, no it's an He makes no mistakes? Yeah...yeah I did for about a month and a half, where American expression. Oh yes he does, so as you, so as I, we're human. But I got my basic English and then after that talking a lot to Did you have trouble picking up the American slang, and did it change my feeling is that Americans and Canadians should Americans and trying to learn as much as I could. your comedy at all? look at overall picture and see how much good stuff he After being a bus boy what did you do? Well that was basically what I was going through, ya know, someone bringand if there are mistakes he should be responsible Then I became a bartender; that's where I started to says to me it's raining cats and dogs, I would come out and look where for them, but not killed for them. tell jokes. and say why? It was funny because you Americans take it for granted. Do you feel free living in America? Did people think you were funny? And I'd say if it's raining cats and dogs umbrellas wouldn't help. I don't believe that you can be totally free but I feel Well if they didn't I wouldn't get tips. Windshield wipers would be going 'oh no not Dobermans'. more and more like Americans do. They just don't see When did you decide you could be a comedian in How did you land your role for Moscow On The Hudson? the danger. They try to block it out. America and make money? Sexual favours. I was working the Comedy Store in Los Angeles and Would you ever go back to play the Soviet Union? I got my first taste of American audience about six Paul Mazursky came out and saw my act; then he called in about three or I don't think so at this point. I think I'm fine where I months after I arrived here. I hardly spoke English, but 1 four months and said you got a part. That was the beginning of my acting am; I don't think I want to take any chances. translated a couple of jokes and went on stage in the career. Are you planning to do any movies in the near future? Catskill mountains. They let me on stage in the You've done other movies? I definitely want to, but at this point nothing good afternoon programming what they had for senior I did Brewster's Millions. I did Heartburn with Meryl Streep and Jack came about and I'm not going to do anything I don't citizens and those were people in their early two Nicholson. like. I cherish my career too much. hundreds. They wouldn't laugh because their dentures What was your favourite part? You like doing stand-up? would fall out. So I start telling jokes and they smile, I think Heartburn. I mean Moscow On The Hudson was my favourite I love it! then one woman in the back was laughing real hard and because it was first but Heartburn because I got to work with those And you'll continue doing it? I thought I was being good then I realized she had wonderful people Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep. Oh absolutely. Cabaret showcases Idiots and Emotions

By Matthew Whitehead All four are aspiring to be Having had to endure through two and Anne-Marie Tymec professional musicians. Marc years of the group's existence, Scott attended Laurier last semester and Poll, the energy behind them, is The Turret was the scene for a is now studying the drumset at happy with their sound, but says hot night of jazz Monday evening. Berkeley in Boston, where guitarist that getting regular gigs is difficult Presided over by Dave Langlotz Dave wants to go. Paul is studying when you play the type of music from the Entertainment Connection, bass privately and Scott is a music they do. the cabaret started out slowly and student at WLU. Keeping band members together crescendoed to a fortissimo by 1:00 The band has a good balance of is also difficult. When they started, am. sound, as they churn out swing, the group consisted of Poll, Scott Starting the entertainment at 8:45 bop, latin-jazz and some contem- Anandale on drums, Dave Thierry was Mixty Motions, a quartet porary music. The emphasis, on keyboards and a bass player who featuring Scott Poll (band leader however, lies in traditional jazz, with was soon replaced. A couple of and clarinetist), Dave Thompson a lot of old-time favourites. Dave has players later, the combo has settled (guitar and composition), Paul also contributed some tunes. with the present personnel. Camrass (bass) and special guest After being together for several Mixty Motions is definitely a band Marc Atkinson (drums). Scott months, the group has become solid worth watching for. Keep an eye out Anandale, the regular drummer,was and tight. Gigs come intermittently for their upcoming trio gig at Wilf's. held up in Toronto. and most people like the combo. continued on page 18 Cord photo by Dave Wiimering IE NT E KIT aV lINME NT THE CORD WEEKLY 18 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12.1987 The Contact Lens Boutique An evening of Jazz

entertaining piece and clearly the The music they perform has a one in which the band's talents were variety of styles, from a funk-type best presented. It was a fitting finale fusion to ballads. When they do play to a very tight, clean show. other artists' material, they add their The final act came from last year's own touch, which is always a crowd Talent Night winners, Idiot Savant. pleaser. Made up of Andrew Tibbetts Idiot Savant's stage presence is (vocals), Andrea McColeman fantastic .Togo with the "hot" lyrics (keyboards), Drew Ness (bass), and excellent musicianship, Tibbetts Tony Bender (drums) and Dale presents steamy physical Regular Soft EWI Now QQJ Hancocks (guitar), the band is interpretations of his vocals. When extremely tight. They put a strong you go to one of their shows, you're emphasis on lyrics and play about never disappointed. • ask about our replacement lenses three quarters of their repertoire Where does the abundance of from the group's list of originals. talent come from? Tibbetts is The lyrics and music they write involved in other arts forms including and play are quite "off-the-wall drama, McColeman is a music CONTACT LENS BOUTIQUE Andrew composes a lot of tunes student, Ness is a liaison officer, 22 King Street South, Waterloo which are excitingly bizarre. Songs Bender is the jazz ensemble director and Hancocks is a business student, (Owner U. of W. Grad BSc) Cord photo by Dave Wilmering like Sexual Relations With Stars and 888-6980 888-6980 The Major Hints are creative in all at Laurier. Andrew, Tony, Drew continued from page 17 every aspect of lyrical content and and Andrea got together one day to The evening's second offering immaculate chord progressions. jam and decided to form a band. came from the WLU Jazz Ensemble. Dale was asked to join because of "Good for / what DR. DISC The group consists of 5 saxes, 4 his artistic guitar ability, and they aibya!" ||R||| „IS THE CURE! trombones, 5 trumpets, 1 drummer, haven't looked back since. J\ 1 percussionist, a bass player, guitar, Upcoming on Idiot Savant's -DR DISC keyboards and conductor Tony agenda is a February 26th date at lIIIIW Bender. The group auditioned in the Bombshelter, Wilf's in March KITCHENER'S late September and has been and future gigs to be announced. newest rehearsing forroughly three hours a Watch for this group and join the rak, R MUSIC STORE e anytime |p week ever since. It is composed of enthusiastic crowd who already wi, U students from all faculties. follow them. ISOWngStW. at I? I SSSr.Ont 4»o(A fhi Jazz Ensemble presented N2GIA6 MM A The musical mayhem of Idiot a clean, tight show. Savant closed the evening. on this page are key- The Ensembie played well boardist Andrea McColeman in together and featured both slower and singer Andrew Tibbetts a more serious moment. and more upbeat compositions. \ I Their first song was entitled by Dave Wilmering Phantasmagoria and the full-bodied Cord photo sound of the group was showcased. The second song You Gotta Try featured the saxophone section and 743-8315 especially Philßrunton and Matt Teeter. Nazareth Revisited The music slowed considerably with the third melody Warm By Tony Van Noggeren 5 $1 Has the Doc Gone Crazy? $1 j Breezes. This was the first of three songs in which were performed It has been several years Nazareth peak of their : solos since reached the : SAVE ONE DOLLAR from various sections of the popularity but on Monday February 2nd they proved their career isn't J offany item in the store with \ Ensemble. Warm Breezes was over yet. Although Nazareth now tours the bar circuit, they are still by Funk, a Buddy capable of drawing large crowds. Within one week they played at \ this coupon ; followed Slow least Rich composition featuring drums. four sold-out shows including this one at the Highlands in Cambridge, ! ! • one Per customer The fifth song, Stolen Moments, two in Detroit and one in Toronto. • expires Dec. 20/86 consisted of various solos with the The evening began with a set by a talentless Cambridge band who J J talents of Teeter and Br un ton as played for too long (after their first song they had already been on for too 150 King St. West focal point. long). 5 j The Jazz Ensemble closed with Nazareth opened their set with the title track of their soon-to-be- ; 743-8315 ; an original composition by Laurier released album Cinema. The crowd reaction to the next song, student Derek Bond called Face Of Razamanaz, showed what Nazareth was especially appreciated for: their An Angel. This was by far the most continued on page 20 - i SAN 746-41FRANCESCO^1 1 SAN FRANCESCO'S*

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pi77A - PANZEROTTI - SANDWICHES THE CORD WEEKLY IE NT E ICY AII NiHE NT THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 19 Winger, Russell obsessed in new movie

By Elizabeth Galvin terization is limited and seems too The characters never reveal their la ting mind. There is even a seedy restrictive. motives and their obsessions are little Hawaiian detective who is a If the makers of Black Widow At the film's beginning, we learn troubling because they seem un- junkie and a chauvinist named Bruce justified. wanted a new title, they could always that this woman mates and kills as a who believes that Alex's obsession surprise is own call it "Obsession." career. She is the black widow The twist at the end with the widow is due to her worth the without many The movie, which opened in personified. After we see Alex skill- wait. It is not its lack ofa love-life. There aren't problems though, as it is confusing. men in this Toronto last weekend, is about fully piece this together we are left in respectable parts for The other problem with the movie is Alexandra Barnes' relentless inves- suspense, waiting for something to movie. that though suspects tigation of another woman's obses- happen. This is where the movie even Renee (alias sion with marrying and killing rich drags a bit. her new friend Jennifer Bates Alex), incriminating is men. she still reveals The surprise twist evidence that conveniently helps Debra Winger gives a great perfor- worth the wait. is the black case. mance as the frumpy federal agent. Barnes Alex solve the Theresa Russell is rigid in her roles widow personified. This movie is interesting because as Catherine, Mariel and Renee, the two leading characters are The movie is suspense-filled and three very rich widows. It is difficult female. Both are strong, ambitious contains many surprises and a to tell whether this was due to The investigation leads Alex to and intelligent. These are not typical strange twist at the end that leaves director Bob Rafelson's insistence Hawaii and while we see two very female roles, nor does the movie you feeling satisfied. Debra Winger upon a reserved character, or intelligent women calculating and containany typical male roles. None fans will be impressed. This movie is Russell's inability to loosen up as an carrying out plans, nothing really of the men that the "black widow" currently playing at The Waterloo actress. Regardless, her charac- meaty happens for quite some time. seduces is a match for her calcu- Theatre. Fox stars in drama Silly moviefor silly people

By Mary Falloon By Darlene Weick administrator pops by. Tilings roll along from there, with a major storm leaving everyone at the hospital It's a short-staffed Light Day is the latest movie to feature Canadian superstar Michael Critical Condition is Richard Fryor's latest film. and in need of light. Pryor does some of airy, light, good handiwork on patients J. Fox. In one of the best performances of his career, Fox plays the comedy, rather like a piece of cotton candy: the and ends up even of the doing a leg cast that looks character of Joe Rasnick, who with his sister Patti (played by rocker and somewhat sticky; sticky in the sense that 3/4 more like an art deco maybe too sculpture. Joan Jett) fronts The Barbusters, a Cleveland bar band. one-liners work (and there are a lot of them, Interjected The plot centres around the strife between Patti and her mother and many). What isfunny is tremendously funny, what isn't, along the way is Flannigan, a Charles Manson type on the escape sneaking the loyalty of Joe to both his parents and his sister. Patti's goal in life is to just isn't. around the hospital. He and Pryor are involved a major fight make it as a rock star and when she gets a chance to join a band with a in at The main character, Lannihand (Pryor), tries for a the end with Pryor brighter future she takes it while Joe chooses to remain in Cleveland, imitating all his psycho friends from business deal with a loan shark and ends up sentenced the ward below, a a working at a factory and raising Patti's five-year-old son Benji. When Joe including guy who acts like dog and to one year in the local state pen. To get out of it, he likes to define his territory. and his father notice Joe's mother's deteriorating health, they have her Also involved is a white guy decides to act insane, but must prove it and this is hard who thinks he's black, a druggy, admitted to the hospital for tests. When it is determined that she is and a kidnapped work for Pryor. In the course of "acting" for a month, hospital being held ping terminally ill, Joe leaves to find Patti and bring her to their mother. It is administrator hostage with he manages to get caught up in the medical world pong paddles taped to his and forehead. here in the hospital that Patti and her mother break down the walls hands during a chance escape after hearing he has not All in not a an between them and forgive each other for their past disagreements about all this is bad movie but not excellent convinced the head shrink ofhis insanity. He decides to one either. It is a silly movie Patti's teenage pregnancy and her rock'n'roll lifestyle. for silly people and Richard pretend to be a doctor since he just happens to be in Pryor fans. Condition is playing The movie features a cameo appearance by The Fabulous Critical currently at the Slaughtery's office stealing his file when the new Frederick Twin Cinema. Thunderbirds and songs written by Bon Jovi, Joan Jett, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Bruce Springsteen, Motley Crue and Aerosmith. Although there are a few funny situations, this movie is a serious drama with a very mature theme. This theme was far too mature for the large number of children in the audience who had been brought by their parents to see their favounte teen idol. Overall, Light of Day was a very entertaining movie with an original plot which showcased the fine acting WLU talents of Michael J. Fox and Joan Jett. It captivated the attention of the audience from the beginning and maintained it throughout the film. Student Publications

| Visit The I Positions Open for Next Year NEW 1 I The WLU Student Publications Board of Directors, is now accepting applications for the following GOODWILL Student Publications', positions: 1 • Photo Manager

1 • Cord Photo Technician | THRIFT SHOP I • Graphic Arts Technician | • Cord Copy Editor | Fine Quality Used Clothing • Keystone Yearbook Editor • Keystone Photo Technician R BOOTS, SHOES, BOOKS, TOYS, HOUSEHOLD ITEMS & • Advertising Manager 8 • Systems Technician arid AT AFFORDABLE PRICES! R B SMALL APPLIANCES • Looton Manager • University Typesetting & Transparencies Manager • Treasurer 8 ******* ******* jfl OPENING rjj • Accounts Receivable Manager • Accounts Payable Manager All positions are open to all registered students of | WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18,10 A.M. R WLU and cross-registered students of U of W. 8 56 KING ST. N. (at Princess St.) B Deadline: Friday, March 6th at 4 pm » WATERLOO Interviews will be held during the weekend of J5 March 14-15/87 Applications and more information are B Bargains for our Customers are Jg available at the Student Publications' office, » Wages for our handicapped employees... H 2nd Fioor Student Union Building or call 884-2990 8 These positions require that you live in the K-W area for the summer months. THE CORD WEEKLY 20 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 E NT E EE AIINME NE Band still draws crowds WLU continued from page 18 Student i hits from the 19705. This was reinforced by the Ted Nugent. This band should be exercising Publications j frenzied response to classics such as This their strengths by playing more of their hits t Flight Tonight, Love Hurts, and Hair of the during their regular set and saving Love Hurts j Dog; the latter song featured vocalist Dan and Hair of the Dog for their encore. McCafferty playing bagpipes. Refusing to rely Regardless, Nazareth still provided a good j entirely on their past glories, the band also evening of rock'n'roll and another chance for played The Other Side of You and Let It All Hit many of their fans to see them one more time. Editorial Positions Open for Next Year the Fan from their forthcoming album. Both of these songs sounded very heavy and were welcomed by this audience. Concerts: McCafferty's voice sounds as raw, grittyand powerful as it always has and the band still Bob Seger has scheduled a seventh show for seems to enjoy playing live. The only disap- Joe Louis Arena; this one is March Bth. Bon Jovi added two more Detroit concerts The WLU Student Publications Board of Directors, is pointment is that Nazareth appear to be has to degenerating into "just another bar band". his tour: these will be May 26th and 27th in Joe now accepting applications for the following Their encore consisted of ZZ Top's Tush and Louis Arena. (He's already sold out Cobo Hall Cord Weekly, editorial positions: an instrumental medley of Deep Purple and for March 10th and 11th shows.) • News Editor • Associate News Editor • Sports Editor • Entertainment Editor • Production Manager

Applicants must have a written platform submitted to Roger Nault at the Student Publications offices by no later than noon March 9/87. Election of these editorial positions will be held at 3 pm, Friday, March 13th. All positions are open to all registered students of WLU and cross-registered students of U of W.

Applications and more information are Cord photo by Dave Wilmering available at the Student Publications' office, Guitar Jimmy Avon played to a small but enthusiastic crowd at the Turret 2nd Floor Student Union Building or call 884-2990 Wednesday, February 4. Change of Heart plays City

By Matthew Whitehead

Change of Heart is a Toronto-based band that has finally got its act together. Their recent album 50 FT. Up has done very well and was the number two song on CBKB's playlist for a month last year. The album by this rock quartet is upbeat, solid and well-conceived, especially for such a young band. Their live performance is justas convincing. Phillip Delia, who is involved with the club scene in Toronto, does not usually pay much attention to warm-up bands, but when SUMMER&jOUCH Change of Heart opened for Lyre last year, he listened. He says they rise above the doldrums of THE INTELLIGENT WAY TO A BEAUTIFULTAN regular rock bands. Their initial tape releases were rather poor, but the debut album brings their talent to the forefront. The striking vocals, insistent rhythm and guitarriffs will make the band popular with those who like Entertainment Quiz British rock. The compositions are original and well done. With a little Going to Florida? more maturity, this band should By Frank Zappa and The Backyard Escape become a force to be reckoned with Pack a Tan with Summer's Touch. in the future. 1. Name the only rock group to have had a number one Upside Down productions will be it help album in the 60s, 70s and 80s. featuring Change of Heart Saturday, It's safe and will 2. Who played the Broadway role in Neil Simon's February 21 at the City Hotel in Brighton Beach Memoirs? Waterloo. Flan to attend. prevent a nasty burrt, 3. Where the Buffalo Roam is based on which journalist's life? 4. With whom did Jack Nicholson discuss his Carnal Knowledge? Area Upcomings 5. Name the author of the controversial novel Tropic of Cancer. 6. Who directed Gene Hackman in The Conversation? 7. Who starred as the barber in That's My Mama? poor wretches who are 8. join For those Who did Fred Sanford say he was coming to when in city during Reading he felt a heart-attack coming stuck the on? Week, here are some local hap- 9. What were Klinger's last words on the final episode of M.A.S.H.? penings in the city: 10. Chitty-Chitty Bang? 1 Who wrote the book Bang Humanities Theatre: Ballet STUDENT RATES AVAILABLE. I Sovietski, Monday Feb. 23rd at8:00 pm. Tickets are 13.50/adults, Ask about our Bonus program. Fleming Lan 10. 12.00/students and seniors. taste" impeccable has "Madame 9. Elizabeth 8. Seagram Museum: An evening of Davis Clifton 7. British music and dance. Sunday Hours: Mon-Fri 9am-7pm. Coppola Ford Francis 6. Feb. 15th at 7:30 pm. Tickets are Miller Henry 5. $10.00 each. Sat 10am-2pm. Garfunkel Art 4. Thompson S. Hunter 3. Centre In The Square: Russian Broderick Matthew 2. comedian Yakov Smirnoff will Blues Moody The 1. perform Tuesday Feb. 17th at 8:00 65 University Ave. E Waterloo ANSWERS: pm. Ticket prices $15.50and $18.50. THE CORD WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 21

Intransigence

Take my hand, and love me, My hummingbird heart has fled For I cannot bring you harm. Between my steelbound ribs; Touch me and believe yourself Escaped through a chink of light For 1 am there. That opened one breathless night Talk to me and be at peace, Page When you broke; and called my name For when we are alone, Softly, and then again. The wisdom of your presence calls Arts Your fingertips brushed my lips And I return. Like ash from a cigarette.

Jim McKinnon It had pined too long in the dark, Awoke from a bitter nap To sip the rancid dew That seeped like acid through Cold, unyielding skin.

There was no light within — But sometimes wires snapped In a cascade of deadly sparks.

Above the neon night, Against an ochreous sky, A febrile shadow beat Wild wings in vain. One cry, brief and mad: I saw it plummet Like a broken hammer To the frozen asphalt below.

(i Screamed and Smashed a glass: you said i was Hysterical and Never Touch Me anymore — this is Quite Understandable.

so while i shake the house with Violent Femmes you fuck your girlfriend with the Predictable nose. and i Hope you're Happy now, because i wouldn't want to Complicate Your Life or anything like that)

I found the imprint of the dead thing yesterday. At a bus stop, between ground-in wads of Cord photo by Dave Wilmering pink gum and gob; wildflowers bloomed there in rare and tangled profusion. I picked a handful. The Unspoken Word I am bringing them home to you.

Timidly they danced, Prudence Bredlau Not knowing they were right

Growing together, They learned to feel each other's needs.

Words were never exchanged, Know There was no need.

Words spoken, a brief recital; Together they walked, but words did not matter then. Fingers intertwined. A smile like light illuminating... The smile smoothed the contours of the face. As they walked, A brow not knit, but reaching out to touch my eyes. The world smiled. Bathed in another's warm vicinity, like a warm spring glistening, bubbling from the Earth. Allan Lee Pure affection in a wonderful moment of acceptance that is known. Then distance— then knowing when to get out Need distance to savour, to think, to relive, In Moments Such As These a new option of a cold robotic choice. My Those eyes like a sweet drug to drink and experience. fingers trace the letters of these words Upon My soul, my house of cards wavers... your thigh. They lay as sunshine Warm a It lives to waver in those eyes. upon flower, softly touching, life Everything surrounds two glistening orbs like a carved Bringing to every line. wooden frame. They Her eyes are her, but all of her is her t00... print these words, "We are the soul

Of ... love, just jewels on an organic statue. ancient verse." And we do, With time's Another dimension is sought and taught in those eyes. immortal rhythm A poem write, each time that I touch you. Eric Beyer Jim McKinnon THE CORD WEEKLY 22 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 —'

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— studonts/soniors 1/2 pric« (pius surthar®§). Subject to availability. L A > THE CORD WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1987 23 SPORTS Hawks beat tight-checking Brock By Jeff Madigan Three minutes into the game, Paul Smith intercepted an errant The Wilfrid Laurier Golden pass and broke in alone but fired a Hawks struck for four unanswered wrist shot wide. Ten minutes later, goals in the final nine minutes to Joe Hrysko found himself all alone erase a 1-0 deficit and defeat the in front of the Badger net, but he Brock Badgers 4-1 Saturday night at was hung up by Schrapp's the Waterloo Arena. The win spectacular skate save. avenged a 5-3 loss in St. Catharines As the second period opened, earlier in the year. Laurier enjoyed a five-on-three Dave Aitchison, Tim Fedy, Greg manpower advantage for 1:07 but Puhalski, and Paul Smith scored for were unable tocreate a good scoring Launer while David Bell provided opportunity. Brock with their only tally. Brock had a few good chances on The Badgers play the type of their own five-on-three powerplay game their name implies. They are for 24 seconds, but were unable to experts at hooking, holding, and beat Hawk goaltender Chris otherwise impeding opponents' Luscombe. Effective penalty-killing progress. Three Hawks fell victim to by the forward unit of Peter Black these questionable tactics. and Bob Dean also helped Defenceman Steve Handy was Luscombe. butt-ended in the face at the end of The rest of the period resembled the first period and required six the first, as both teams remained stitches to close a cut on his jaw. bottled up and unable to generate Assistant captain Dave Aitchison any offense. Laurier held a 9-8 edge was hit on the head by a Badger's in shots for the period. stick and missed several shifts. In the third period, both teams Winger Joel Curtis received the opened up their attack as fatigue most serious injury, however, as a affected Brock's game plan. vicious slash broke his hand in four Four minutes into the final frame, Cord photo by Rob Furlong places. a Brock shot found its way through Hawk rookie Tim Fedy blasts the winning goal legs. Since there is no Sports Quiz this week, a maze Hawks coach Wayne Gowing was of players and bounced off between Brock goaltender Dennis Schrapp's what does the hand in this picture signify? not surprised at having to struggle the post. Laurier was not as for the victory. "Brock is not a bad fortunate four minutes later, as Bell's Schrapp's legs. Fedy and sped past the Brock dropped to 8-12-1. hockey team. They are very good in slapshot from the point beat With less than six minutes left, defense before depositing the puck Hawkey Talk: Greg Sliz their own end and they have good Luscombe high to the glove side. Brock was handed a golden behind Schrapp after a nifty deke to (shoulder), Peter Hellstrom (knee), goaltending. Brock piays a physical After that, however, it was all opportunity to tie the game when the left. and Shaun Reagan (knee) were out game and you have to show up Laurier as they mounted attack after Puhalski was sent off for hooking, of the line-up and did not play. when you play them. 1 liked what 1 attack, outshooting the Badgers 14 instead, Laurier killed off the penalty Asked if the continuous cheap Darren Wright and John Sheppard saw tonight, as our guys did show up 2 over the last 12 minutes. and as Puhalski stepped out of the shots got his team rolling, Handy sat out the game as did Doug and were prepared to pay the price," Aitchison tied the score when he penalty box, Hawk defenseman Eric said, "Anytime a team is not playing Marsden who is serving the first half he said. picked up a loose puck at the edge Calder fed him with a breakaway so well, you need something to of a two-game suspension. The first period featured tight, of the crease and banged it home. pass. Puhalski made no mistake as spark you. Sometimes it takes a Reagan's injury is more serious defensive hockey with Brock doing Puhalski and Tom Jackson picked he deked to the right to make the good, individual effort, or even a than expected and he could be out their outmost to stymie any Hawk up assists on the goal. score 3-1. fight to provide that spark. I think of action for up to a month. Sliz offence. Laurier outshot Brock 8-6. A minute and a half later, Laurier the cheap shots that we all took should be back on Thursday and it is Laurier had the better of the went ahead 2-1 as Mike Duffy sent Twenty-seven seconds later, were just what we needed to get unknown when Peter Hellstrom will scoring chances in the period but Fedy in alone on a breakaway. Fedy Laurier rounded out the scoring going and play the way we can." return. Hellstrom injured his knee in were unable to crack the armour of blasted a slapshot from the top of with an insurance goal by Paul With the win, Laurier's record the Toronto game and was to be Brock goaltender Dennis Schrapp. the right face-off circle between Smith. Smith received a pass from climbed to 13-4-4 while Brock examined on Monday. "Triple Towers" a power in 59- 33 victory

By Chris Starkey Prescott, Catherine "Stick" Foulon getting, we could, we11... blow them last night (Wednesday). Laurier After finishing their schedule, the and Sue Little, who contributed 17 away. Those last five minutes were needs to beat McMaster and have Lady Hawks will enjoy a 17-day It's showdown time! of the first-half points. A taller just heaven, being able to sit back the Marauders lose their Feb. 21 hiatus, a chance to get over mid- On the strength of victories over Laurier side dominated both the and let the subs get playing time." game against the 5-3 Brock Badgers winter colds and to heal nagging the Brock Badgers and the Western offensive and defensive boards all The Lady Hawks are assured of at to finish first. Should the Hawks injuries. The women will tip off in the Mustangs, the Lady Hawk basketball night, outrebounding Western 44-28. least third going into their last game lose, first will be out of reach, but OWIAA championship tourney for squad is assured of at least a third- During the chippy first few chance at displacing the Lady second will be the probable standing. the first time in history three place finish in the close OWIAA minutes of the second frame, the Hawks from the top two, and must Brock is the only other team with a weekends from now in Guelph. Fan West Division race. The Badgers teams exchanged two baskets each against the 7-1 McMaster Marauders win their last four games to do so. buses are expected to be arranged went down to defeat at home 61-56 when Laurier broke the game open, on Wednesday, and the Mustangs capitalizing on the shots from the were thrashed 59 33 in the Hawk paint they had been missing earlier. nest on Saturday. The Lady Hawks outscored their V-Ballplayoffhopes still alive Until this year, Western looked counterparts 13-2 in the early-half forward to Laurier matchups, surge, and with eight minutes By Serge Grenier The Athenas returned to narrow the score to 8-6 but pencilling in two points before tip- remaining went on another tear. inaccurate Waterloo attacking let the score go to 12-9 off. Earlier this year, however, the Their fast-break offence in high gear, While the previous week for the Laurier women's with Patti Smith serving. After a middle smash and a Lady Hawks made history, defeating the Lady Hawks rhymed off five volleyball team was nothing to write home about, this middle block by Ruth MacNeil, Smith aced at 14-9 to the 'Stangs in their own corral 69-62. unanswered baskets. last week was an entirely different story. The Hawks give the Hawks a 1-0 lead for the evening. With a 59-33 flogging of the Andrea Prescott led the cagers rose to the challenge of three games in six days, The second game seemed to copy the first game's Mustangs, the women showed that with 13 points, nine of them in the winning two of three including a major upset. scenario as the Hawks broke for an early 10-3 lead, perhaps a new dynasty is in the first half. The K-W product hauled On Tuesday they fell in fighting fashion to the taking advantage of forced Athena net violations. At making. down rebounds, recorded several Waterloo Athenas 3-1 at Waterloo. On Thursday they 10 4, the Athenas roared back to 10-9 off the same Despite a slow start by both blocked shots and also made some hosted the league's doormats, Brock, and defeated server in a sequence which featured three missed teams, the Lady Hawks jumped to a amazing feeds, especially from the them 3-1. And Saturday they peaked in stunning the Hawk attacks. At 11-9 Laurier, the Athenas tied the 6-2 lead, extending it to 18-8after 10 high to low post position. The ultra second-place Windsor Lancerettes3-2 at the Complex game on an out-of-bounds Allison McGee attack and a minutes of play. The squad had consistent Colleen Ryan had to keep their playoff hopes alive. Waterloo middle kill. After trading serves, Waterloo numerous excellent chances with another double-digit night, picking took a 12-11 lead on a McGee net attack. It was later inside shots, but more than too up 11 points. Kris Peel came back Waterloo 3 Laurier 1 stretched to 14-11 and finally to a 15-11 win on a missed many were missed — a dilemma from a horrendous start to pot 10 Ruth MacNeil attempt. that could cost Laurier in the close and Stick Foulon had a strong game The fifth-place Hawks, apparently sinking rapidly, The third gamewas the most lopsided of the evening, games they are accustomed to and underneath with nine. found a stimulating tonic in playing their crosstown with Waterloo grabbing an early 9-2 advantage on an will inevitably encounter in the Coach Gary Jeffries was definitely rivals, the third-place Athenas. The Hawks won the attacking spurt which included three aces. The closest playoffs. ecstatic over the convincing win, first 15-9 but lost the next three hard-fought battles the Hawks could get was 94 with a Cathy Hall ace and The Hawks took a 25-16 lead into especially the second-half outburst. 15-11, 15-4 and 15-13. a MacNeil soft middle hit. the dressing room, thanks largely to "We knew at halftijne that if we The Hawks came out firing in the first game, leaping At that point Waterloo held Laurier back with a the "Triple Towers", Andrea could convert the chances we were to an 8-3 lead with strong serving and middle hitting. Continued on page 26 THE CORD WEEKLY 24 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1987 SPORTS Warriors beat up on injured Hawks By Brad Lyon of the ball on an offensive rush, they factors against Waterloo was Galikowski more than I thought Demaree who was a surprising could not capitalize. Laurier missed Lorenzo Segato fouling out early in they would. They missed his tempo starter and capitalized on his The Waterloo Warriors ended a an almost incomprehensible number the second half. "We needed and his range. One key guy missing opportunity to play by leading the three-game regular-season losing of shots from both their outside another guard when Segato fouled can defuse an attack," said McCrae. Hawks with 15 points. Paul streak against the Golden Hawks shooters and their big men under out and we didn't have one," said According to Hawk coach DeSantis, who is getting better every men's cagers with an overwhelming the basket. coach Chris Coulthard. This lack of Coulthard, "We completely broke game, chipped in 12 points. 93-61 blowout on Saturday at It is disappointing that the Hawks depth will probably come back to down. We had no penetration Warrior high scorers were Rob Waterloo. were outplayed to such an extent in haunt the Hawks in future games. against the zone. We simply had the Froese with 26 points and Tom The Warriors put the game away the second half considering that Waterloo coach Don McCrae pants beat off us." Schneider with a season-high 22 in the second half after an evenly Paul Boyce, Waterloo's number one pinpointed the Hawk problem as the The one bright point for the points in probably his best game of played first half. For the first twenty scorer this season, went down with loss of Galikowski. "They missed Hawks was the play of Mike the season. minutes of the game, in fact, the a sprained ankle early in that half. Hawks looked poised to pull off The Hawks were simply unable to another upset against the highly capitalize when the opportunity touted Warriors. presented itself, and were outscored But Waterloo was simply 40-19 after Boyce's injury. Have to learn how to win overpowering in the second half. On a lighter note, the Hawks After their seven-point played a stellar first half. Laurier was By Brad Lyon losing end of an 85-78 score because minute scoring drought midway halftime lead to 11 points, the able to stay within a point of the of pure exhaustion. through the first half, allowing the Warriors went to work. At one Warriors until the last two minutes "We have to learn how to win." Lancers to open a 10-point lead. point, Laurier's inability to handle of the half. Then a late Waterloo Joe Syer's words in the aftermath Both teams came out of the Laurier whittled away at the lead for Waterloo's pressure offence allowed rally put them ahead by seven. of Laurier's fifth straight OUAA dressing rooms flying, and the first the remainder of the half, and at Waterloo to score seven consecutive In all fairness, injuries affected the regular-season defeat aptly sum up eight minutes of play saw the lead halftime trailed by seven, 46-37. points on foul shots. Hawks. Guard Rob Galikowski the Hawks' season thus far. change hands five times. Had it not The second half was much the play Waterloo also scored nine straight didn't dress for Laurier. He is Inconsistency has plagued the been for the stellar of Linas same as the first. Windsor used their Segato the points during a streak where both suffering from stress fractures to his basketball Hawks all season, as Azubalis and Lorenzo in fast break offence to perfection at the Hawks' defence and offence shins, and there is a question as to every time they play they seem to early part of the first half, Windsor times, only to be thwarted by a simply fell apart. Numerous Hawk whether he will return this season. discover a new way to lose. would have blown the game open. defence that shone in several vital giveaways on defence led to several With Galikowski out, the Hawks Wednesday evening as host to the Azubalis and Segato accounted for situations. Five minutes into the half Warrior baskets and when the are rather thin at guard in terms of Windsor Lancers was no different; 16 of the Hawks' first 18 points. the Hawks had pulled within one of Hawks managed to keep possession player depth. One of the major this time the Hawks came out on the The Hawks suffered a three the Lancers, thanks in large part to some superb rebounding and blocking by Syer, Azubalis and Segato. Windsor quickly regained its lead. SUMMER, KELUT Outstanding guard Paul Thomas THIS scored two consecutive baskets set up by Hawk miscues. Laurier trailed by this five-to-six- point margin until five minutes WILL HELP 7&000 remained, when the Hawks surged into a 76-76 tie on a basket by Segato after Paul DeSantis missed a layup. DeSantis played a superb STUDENTS WbRK game, coming off the bench early in the first half to replace Rob Galikowski who played sparingly on damaged shins. TOWARD TWO GOALS: But fatigue struck in the final two minutes. With the Hawks trailing by one, they were simply unable to capitalize on their numerous scoring opportunities. DeSantis missed several foul shots, as did other players. Windsor took advantage of the missed shots and ran several court long rushes to take home a seven-point victory. Even though the Hawks suffered another defeat in what is becoming an agonizingly long season, they should be impressed with their performance. They held a team that had averaged 92 points per game going in to Wednesday's contest to seven below their average, and did so with several regulars sitting on the bench. Galikowski, with his injury, and Brian Demaree were used sparingly. At times, as many as four non- regulars were on the floor. Joe Syer, who played probably his most effective game this season, scoring 10 points and adding 8 rebounds, lamented that the Hawks play so well sometimes and then so bad others. He admitted they are becoming a little more consistent, TUITION AND AIAN. though. "If we can get some confidence, we'll win some of the With Kelly Services you can make the most of summer. And still make tough ones." money for school. Coach Chris Coulthard echoed You'll earn tuition while you choose your own assignments: secretarial, Syer's sentiments. "It was a game marketing or light industrial work. You can take as many assignments as that could have been, but just So you can still spend entire days wasn't." you like, or hold them to a minimum. Coulthard added that the Hawks basking in the sun. turned the ball over too many times Work is almost always available, too. So Kelly is not only ideal for in the last few minutes, leading to vacations, it's a smart way to spend breaks year round. their demise. "We're not much And there's an extra benefit. Kelly provides temporary help to most of worse than other teams, (but) we hump." firms. the assignment you take can help you meet people just can't get over the Canada's major So Linas Azubalis led Hawk scorers who could play a big part in your future. with 20 points, while Lorenzo Segato Join the 70,000 other students who work with Kelly Services every year. chipped in 15 pointsand 7 rebounds. Just register at one of our local Kelly offices nationwide. There's one near The effectiveness of the bench was evident in the scoring. DeSantis your home or school. And it doesn't _ scored 15 points, including 9 of 12 cost a thing to register. Think {"J from the foul line, while Todd Smith about it. It's a terrific way to earn I in another job off the bench reopie tuition this summer-and still go IVLLJ swvs.ua. contributed 10 points and a game- back to school with a tan. SERVICES high 9 rebounds. SPORTS THE CORD WEEKLY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 25 Brock Badgers beaten in own burrow by By Rob Mann managed to come from behind and Catharines on February 4. game. down a Badger and shaken up. soundly defeat the Brock Badgers Unlike the previous gamebetween Ann Weber gave the Lady Hawks She sat out for a while but was soon 61-56 in a hard-fought, exciting game the two teams, the victory was their first lead of the game. The returned to action and ended up getting the final The Lady Hawk basketball team in the Badgers' own burrow of St. unquestionable and the officiating excitement grew as the lead changed basket for the Lady was sound. There was no doubt as hands four times in the final ten Hawks. Deservedly, she was named to who was the better team. The minutes. Catherine Foulon gave the O.V. player-of-the-game. Badgers, true to their name, are Laurier its final lead of the game and Coach Jeffries was extremely very tough opponents and give up then added to it with two from the proud of his squad and is confident few victories to visiting teams, which line to put the Lady Hawks up by that when they play up to their made the Lady Hawk win that much three. Laurier's offense forced potential, they are capable ofbeating sweeter. several fouls on the Badgers with anyone. Aside from the great After a slow start the Lady Hawks aggressive play and eventually the performance of Weber, Jeffries said, had trouble staying close to Brock Brock centre fouled out of the game. "Catherine (Foulon), Colleen as the Badgers pulled ahead 6-0 and With 1:02 left in the game, the (Ryan), and Sue (Little), off the held a seven-point lead for most of Lady Hawks had a five-point lead bench, played strong games." Bench the first half. A strong half-court and possession of the ball. The strength has been an important press frustrated the Laurier offense. Badgers were stunned at the goings- factor in the Lady Hawks' success Laurier coach Gary Jeffries called on and made very little attempt to and Jeffries pointed out that" Joan a timeout at 2:06 of the first half. steal the ball during the final minute (MacDonald), Kim (Fritzley), and Down by eight, the Lady Hawks so the Lady Hawks easily held on to Barb (Lockhart) didn't give up narrowed the Badger lead to five win it 61-56. Coach Jeffries let out an anything critical." At one point in with seven quick points, five of which ecstatic war whoop, obviously more the game there were four non- were free throws. Kris Feel put in than pleased with the women's starters out on the floor for the Lady five of these seven points but performance. Hawks. otherwise had an off game. The Ann Weber and Catherine Foulon With the win, there continued the score at the half was 35-30 for the were the high scorers for the Lady motivation to capture the OWIAA Badgers. The Lady Hawks were Hawks with 14 and 12 points West crown as the team still has a extremely impressive at the free respectively. Foulon and Colleen legitimate shot atfinishing first ahead throw line, shooting 10 for 12 (83%). Ryan were both four-for-four on the of the current leader McMaster. The second-half play of the line while Andrea Prescott shot five The Lady Hawks moved up to a Badgers changed little but the Lady for six and also had a strong game. more than respectable 7-3 record Hawks were on fire, holding them to Despite having the flu, Ann Weber going into their game against only 21 points in a great display of was the driving force behind the Western. Both Jeffriesand assistant defensive skill. Hie Lady Hawks team, playing tremendously coach Fred Nichols expressed were beating the Badgers to the ball throughout the game. Weber scored confidence that the Lady Hawks consistently, coming up with eight points in the final half as the could beat Western and are looking rebound after rebound and getting team out-scored the Badgers 31-21. forward to the upcoming final game seven steals which upset Brock's In the final minutes Weber was run against Mac. Cord photo by Peter Dyck Men win a nail-biter First period Blues By Scoop Furlong By Serge Grenier to tie the game but Harris-Lowe took charge bounced behind the net and out the other with his serving and led the Hawks to a five- side where McLaughlin picked it up and Despite point surge to lead 14-9. After seven outshooting the Blues 52-26 in deposited it onto the empty net. A sizable crowd survived an absolute nail- Toronto last Wednesday, Laurier's hockey biter last Thursday as Golden inconclusive rallies, a Guelph missed attack Byrne put Toronto ahead 4-2 at the 1:22 the Laurier Hawks were soundly defeated 7-4. Hawks men's volleyball team came back from from a Steve Moffat serve gave the Hawks the mark of the second period. Byrne picked up win a The loss dropped Laurier into fifth place a 2-0 deficit to defeat the Guelph Gryphons 15-9 and sent the match to fifth and arebound and stuffed it through Luscombe's deciding game. in the Ontario Universities Athletic legs. 3-2. Association. Guelph the first two 15-13 and 19-17 At this point, momentum was with the Toronto held the majority of play in the took The Hawks played an exceptional first but the Hawks seized the next three 15-12, Hawks, but Guelph was still playing extremely second period but it was the 12:25 mark that period. They dominated the Blues in every 15-9 and 15-10. well. saw the beginning of the end for Laurier. aspect of the game except one — goal The first game showed everyone in An early 6-5 Laurier lead was widened to Luscombe pursued a loose puck near the scoring. Despite owning corners attendance that neither 10-5 thanks in large part to two Harris-Lowe the and Hawk blueline. The puck ended up in the team came to roll outshooting Toronto 23-9, Don over and die. The Hawks led early 7-1, with blocks. corner and eventually in the net before a McLaughlin's second goal of the period with John Bald providing three points with The gap was narrowed to 12-10 but yet sprawling Luscombe could return to his three just 30 seconds to play put Toronto ahead to kills. another missed Guelph attack gave Laurier a crease. stay, 3-2. A Harris-Lowe out-of-bounds serve 13-10 lead. Three serves later, a Paul Shore Toronto widened their lead to 7-2 with Keith The difference in this game was Laurier's turned the serve block of a Guelph attack serve and a missed two more goals in the next four minutes. over to the Gryphons and early performance and goaltending. they fired smash after smash from all angles to Gryphon weak side attack gave Laurier the Byrne scored on another rebound and Chris Blues' goalie Kevin Hamlin, though not lead 9-7 losing the ball a 15-10 win and a 3-2 victory for the evening. Callaghan slid the puck under Luscombe's before on Jonas unbeatable, played excellently, whereas the Kaciulis kill. Needless to say, coach Don Smith was pad on a partial two-on-one break. pleased by the outcome. "We never gave up Hawks' Chris Luscombe struggled. Callaghan's goal marked the end of both After each team scored two points, Guelph Luscombe but we had to earn every point," he said. was eventually replaced by Rob Luscombe and Laurier. Rob Beatty took roared to 14-9 with domination of the middle period Smith gave Guelph full credit for their Beatty late in the second following over in the Laurier net and held the Blues game. goal. backcourt play which at times was Toronto's seventh scoreless for the remainder of the game. The Hawks came back to 14-11 on a missed The Hawks came flying in unbelievable. He also praised the work of out the first Five minutes into the third period a pair of Guelph pass and a Bald spike and later period. "We were totally veterans Steve Moffat ("when he's on his out of control," fights erupted at the same time. Greg tightened it to 14-13 on a Guelph net violation game, he is an incredible defensive player") said head coach Wayne Gowing. "We Fuhalski squared off with John Renzetti and a Scott Lee termination. Two kills later and Larry Rourke, who stated he was happy pressed hard, but didn't capitalize, so we while Doug Marsden met Mark Gobuty. though, Guelph took the first game 15-13. pressed harder just to get the win. which caused us to give Marsden, for being in the second altercation, It was Guelph's turn to grab the early lead away some It was the last regular-season game for both chances. (But) it was a good out received a two-game suspension. in the second game with crisp hitting and of control," clarified Gowing. players and they each put in superb Laurier scored two goals in the game's incredible backcourt defence. Terry McCutcheon said, "We just performances. Moffat was a one-man highlight were final three minutes to make the score Laurier recovered from an 11-10 deficit to film, with spectacular digs and crushing too discouraged after the first. We were all somewhat respectable. Tim Fedy knocked 13-11 a over them, but it just didn't happen." lead thanks to missed Guelph attack, terminations to go out in style. A typical play a rebound through Hamlin's legs and a Steve and a Rourke ace. Toronto drew first blood as McLaughlin Moffat kill occurred in the fourth when he leapt over Sparkes blasted a hard point shot to the top Guelph scored after just in tied it at 13 with a weak side kill, John Bald, who was down on all fours, and 1:27 the contest. corner. Laurier outshot Toronto 17-3 in the only to see further ties at 14, 15, 16 and 17. nearly crashed into his bench to clear the ball. McLaughlin picked up a Steve Handy give- period. With Guelph serving, Bald bumped a tough As for Rourke, it was the epitome of his away and blasted a shot by a screened Guelph attack into the net and two serves career, a steady and reliable middle game Luscombe to give the Blues the early lead. McLaughlin, with two goals and two later, a Guelph attack led to a four-hit Laurier both on defense and offence. The Hawks came right back with a assists, was named player of the game for return, giving the Gryphons a 19-17 victory After the Guelph victory on Thursday powerplay goal two minutes later. After a Toronto, while Eric Calder, with four assists, and a 2-0 match lead. night, the team left for Quebec City early flurry of scoring opportunities, Dave received Laurier honours. The Hawks came on strong early in the Friday morning to participate in the Quebec Aitchison knocked in arebound from a Brad third game,leading 8-2 with two pointscoming City Winter Carnival volleyball tournament. Sparkes point shot. Hawkey Talk: Shaun Reagan injured his off Moffat spikes. On Friday night, they lost 2-0 to the Ste. Laurier went ahead with another power- knee in the OUAA all-stars versus Team Guelph crept back to 8-7 and 9-8 before Foy senior squad. Early Saturday morning, play marker at the 11:00 mark. Eric Calder Canada last Monday night in Toronto. Peter scoring three points with a weak side smash, a they faced Sherbrooke without any warmup fed Terry McCutcheon who in turn set up Hellstrom also injured his knee against Harris-Lowe missed attempt and an ace to after a confusing search for the game site and Joel Curtis. Curtis's hard wrist shot from Toronto. Both players will probably miss the lead 11-9. lost 2-0. the hash marks put Laurier ahead 2-1. rest of the season. With Scott Lee serving, Laurier returned to Later on, they lost 2-0 to Essor, an alumni Toronto tied the game as defenceman Joel Curtis is playing excellent hockey a 13-11 lead on two Guelph net violations and team from Laval University and to the Quebec Mike Millotte was allowed to walk in from his and has been the Hawks' hottest scorer of a Rourke middle smash. Guelph closed it to Provincial Junior. Coach Don Smith was point position. His wrist shot from the face- late. The Blues are a beatable team. They rely 14-12 but a long rally begun by a Moffat serve impressed with the quick patterns shown by off dot beat Luscombe cleanly. on one "big line" and the goaltending of ended in a Guelph net attack, giving Laurier a the tournament teams and their back-row McLaughlin's second of the game late in Hamlin. 15-12 win and cutting the Gryphon lead to 2-1. defence. the period was disheartening and proved to Look for the Hawks to meet Waterloo in Powered by some acrobatic defence and Shin digs:The semi-final matchup between be the game winner. The Hawks were the first round of the play-offs. Eight teams scoring blocking, the Hawks took an early 6-1 the third-place Hawks and the second-place caught pressing in the Toronto zone which make the play-offs this year with first playing lead in game four. Western Mustangs is this Saturday at 2:00 at resulted in a two-on-one break. Though Jim eighth,- second playing seventh, etc. All At 9-6 Laurier. Guelph scored three times Thames Hall in London. Byrne's initial shot went wide, the puck series are best two out of three. THE CORD WEEKLY 26 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 SPORTS and scored three points on two weak side kills and an Allison McGee net violation. At 13-11, Windsor regained the serve and won it 15-11 to take a 2-1 lead. Cookie's team clicks Still more close action occurred in the fourth game, as Laurier gave Brown the serve though, as, after bringing the score to 1411 at 64 Windsor and took an 8-6 lead with two Continued from page 23 Laurier, Brock scored again four straight and MacNeil blocks as well as a middle kill and a strong middle game and won it 15-4on a Patti the regulars were put back in. A missed Brock Sue Brown ace. The lead was expanded to Wright out-of-bounds attack to take a 2-1 middle attack tied it at 15-15 but, with Brock 12-6 thanks to two McGee middle termina- lead. serving, a power spike and a net attack up the tions. With Cathy Hall serving, Edith Edinger In the fourth game the Hawks regrouped to weak side by McGee gave Brock a 17-15win brought the Hawks up to 14-6 with one kill give Waterloo an extremely tight contest. The and a 1-1 tie for the evening. and one block. At 14-7 Laurier, the Hawks Athenas tried to demoralize the Hawks by The regular starting six (McGee, MacNeil, scored their final point on a McGee ace to tie opening up 5-1 and 10-6 leads but the Hawks Patti Smith, Sue Kipfer, Sue Brown and the action at 2-2 and serve notice to Windsor came back to tie the game by forcing Athena Cathy Hall) started the third game and they would have to earn their win. misses. MacNeil broke a 10-10 deadlock with grabbed an early 5-0 lead. Exciting is certainly not a misnomer for the a middle spike which was countered by Brock missed numerous opportunities and fifth game. Neither team let a large gap Waterloo to tie it again at 11-11. the Hawks kept their composure throughout, develop early on. Both stayed within mutual A missed Athena attack and another cutting down on missed attacks and improving striking distance until the score was 8-8 and MacNeil spike opened up a 13-11 Hawk lead their erratic serve reception. The game finally the service was given to Sue Kipfer. but two missed Wright attacks restored a tie ended 15-3 with a McGee stuff block up the The four-year veteran, playing her last situation at 13-13. middle to give Laurier a 2-1 lead. home regular-season game, aced to bring the With Waterloo serving, Allison McGee The third game had set the tone for the score to 9-8 Laurier. At 13-8 Laurier, Kipfer missed two consecutive attacking oppor- fourth, as the Hawks took a 9-1 lead with aces aced again for a 14-8score. With the game on tunities, giving Waterloo a 15-13win and a 3-1 from MacNeil, McGee and rookie Penny the line, the retiring veteran had a chance for victory for the evening. Rivers. At 13-2 Brock surged for three points one last hurrah, just as in a Hollywood script. but that spurt was stopped by a net serve. At Regretfully, the Lancerettes would not co- Laurier 3 Brock 1 13-5 Laurier, with Patti Wright serving, poor operate, and spoiled the moment with a After three consecutive losses, the Lady digging and an out-of-bounds attack gave power kill. Hawks greeted the last-place Badgers with Laurier a 15-5 win and a 3-1 victory for the They narrowed the gulf to 14-12 with two open arms and the hopes of an easy win. It evening, and an end to their three-game losing weak side kills and two missed Laurier proved not to be that easy, as Laurier took streak. attacks. The Hawks stopped them momen- the first 15-11, lost the second 17-15and took tarily with a MacNeil smash but another the next two 15-3 and 15-5. Laurier 3 Windsor 2 Windsor weak side attack off Edinger re- While the first game was sloppy and seemed This was easily the most exciting of the Cord photo by Eric Beyer turned the ball to the Lancerettes. to lack intensity, it was nevertheless hard- week's three matches. The Lady Hawks Windsor. At 14-8 Windsor, due mostly to A weak side attack and an ace later, it was a upset the second-place Lancerettes3-2, The ball finally fought. At 6-5 Laurier, the Hawks cleared bit losing their passing game, the Hawks narrowed it to tied at 14-14. was surrendered of a pathway the first 15-13and by a serve. to lead 10-5 with the reliable the third 15-11 only tocome 14-11 with MacNeil serving and to 14-13 with net back to second trading possessions, serving of Sue Brown. The gap was closed to win the 15-10 and the fourth Hall serving until a weak side Windsor smash After service the 10-8 thanks to three missed Laurier oppor- 15-7 and topping it off by winning the fifth provided the Lancerettes with the serve. Hawks scored when Windsor couldn't return but 16-14. a attack. With Patti Smith tunities the Hawks roared back to 14-8. At They then won it 15-13 with a power ter- McGee serving, 14-11 Laurier there was a deadlock for seven The first game indicated that the Hawks mination. Windsor returned the ball for a middle attack rallies but an Allison McGee ace settled the were not intimidated by Windsor's second The second game featured more close but McGee successfully blocked it to get the victory issue and gave Laurier a 15-11 win. place in the standings. The Lancerettes, not action, with the Hawks cracking a 6-6 tie and point for a 16-14 win and a 3-2 to stun Momentum swung back and forth in the strong on power hits but reliant on fun- taking a 10-6 lead with three kills and a the observers and keep their playoff hopes second game. Brock had seized a 7-3 lead damentals, finesse and precision, were never Windsor violation. Laurier took a 14-9lead on alive. Laurier able to distance themselves from the Hawks. The playoff situation at press time reads when scored four straight points a Windsor net attack but surrendered the ball like this: Laurier, in fifth place, must win its which included a Ruth MacNeil ace. Both teams were coasting until a long rally, on a net violation. At 14-10, MacNeil obtained last game (against Western) and fourth-place The Hawks went up 14-8and coach Cookie at 8-6 Windsor with Ruth MacNeil serving, the serve for the Hawks on a weak side attack Guelph must lose all three of their games. Leach took this chance to give her bench picked up the pace and ended with a Cathy and won it 15-10with a middle termination to Laurier cannot finish in a tie; since the Lady some playing time. The move backfired, Hall weak side spike to bring the score to 8-7 tie the match at 1-1. Hawks lost both match ups versus the The Hawks, buoyed by their second-game Gryphons, they must finish ahead of Guelph performance, started the third game strongly to qualify for the playoffs. One of the Guelph with a 7-2 lead but some poor attack pre- games, however, is against last-place Brock, paration enabled Windsor to tighten the score making Hawk playoff hopes rather dim. I^VALENITNI^ at 8-7 Laurier. Floats and Serves: Cindy Novack missed The Hawks scored two more points to take SPECIAL! all three games and is out for the season with a R FRESH CUT 9 a 10-7 lead. The first came on a Sue Kipfer foot injury ... The home record for the team power spike, ending a very long rally which this season stands at 4-2 ... The Brock game FLOWERS 8 featured some tremendous digs, and the , provided rookies Kelly Cowan and Fenny js second on a Windsor net attack. Windsor tied Rivers their first opportunity to play before it at 10-10 but a MacNeil ace gave the Hawks Laurier fans ... The Western game is tonight an 11-10 lead. But Windsor came right back * Special Valentine's at 8:00 in London.

\ Come and visit us in our ji K brand new store v vft or a w^e selection of o Valentine's gifts and flowers, x x r 111 5 Quality silk and fresh x R arrangements at prices to suit O C> your budget, x I steaks seafood x (We were students TOO!) 0

£ A short walk x ■ HOULIGAN'S DINING LOUNGE /] || x from the University! C 384 King St. North I wyJ^ir^lll «. 11 I \(^)jims I 886-6660 jpi K\, FLOWERS & GIFTS C I BASH ™Li |ff| r> y Located in University Shops Plaza II > j& Between Phillip St.and U of W ￿< Jv 170 University West, Waterloo 884-3616 cj THE CORD WEEKLY SPORTS THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 27

Upcoming Games Hockey Scoreboard OUAA LAURIER at Western (Sat. Feb. 14, 2:00 p.m.) Standings GF W L T F A PTS OUAA Volleyball-West OWIAA Volleyball-West Western 20 16 2 2 123 53 34 Standings 4 Standings Waterloo 22 15 3 107 63 34 GP W L T F A PTS T F A PTS York 21 15 2 3 114 56 33 GP W L 21 15 4 2 Toronto 123 63 32 Waterloo 10 9 1 0 28 6 18 McMaster 10 9 1 0 29 3 18 21 13 4 4 121 72 30 11 LAURIER Western 10 8 2 0 26 16 Windsor 9 7 2 0 23 9 14 Windsor 19 7 7 5 87 82 19 LAURIER 10 7 3 0 22 18 14 12 20 8 Waterloo 9 6 3 0 19 12 Brock 12 1 88 100 17 Guelph 10 4 6 0 20 23 8 Guelph 9 5 0 15 17 10 20 7 2 11 4 McMaster 11 70 83 16 Brock 10 1 9 0 28 2 11 5 6 0 17 22 10 Guelph 20 6 13 1 73 113 13 McMaster 10 1 9 0 7 28 2 LAURIER 20 5 13 Western 9 1 8 0 8 25 2 Laurentian 2 94 134 12 Brock 9 0 9 0 4 27 0 Queen's 22 3 15 4 74 136 10 RMC 22 4 17 1 87 146 9 Results Ryerson 20 3 14 3 69 129 9 Waterloo 3, Brock 0 Results LAURIER 3, Guelph 2 1 Western McMaster 0 Waterloo 3, LAURIER Results 3, Windsor 3, Western 0 7, LAURIER 4 LAURIER 3, Brock 1 Toronto McMaster 3, Guelph 0 York 3, McMaster 1 Waterloo 1 Brock 9, RMC 5 Windsor 3, Waterloo 5, Toronto 5 LAURIER 3, Windsor 2 LAURIER 4, Brock 1 Flying Hawks Western 8, Laurentian 5 OUAA Guelph 8, Queen's 5 Basketball-West York 5, RMC 4 Standings Windsor McMaster 5, 5 W L T F A PTS Windsor 5, Ryerson 5 GF Western 9, Laurentian 2 Waterloo Guelph Windsor 8 6 2 0 706 674 12 6, 3 McMaster 9 5 4 0 671 622 10 Toronto 9, Queen's 3 Waterloo 9 5 4 0 683 639 10 Guelph 9 5 4 0 632 657 10 Upcoming Games Western 9 4 5 0 675 662 8 4 4 0 626 641 8 (Thurs. Brock 8 Western at LAURIER Feb. 12,7:30, Waterloo 8 1 7 0 570 668 2 Arena) LAURIER LAURIER at Waterloo (Sun. Feb. 15,2:30, Columbia Icefield) Results OWIAA Basketball-West Western 80, McMaster 64 Guelph 72, Waterloo 61 Standings Windsor 85, LAURIER 78 GP W L T F A FTS Western 78, Brock 65 Waterloo 93, LAURIER 61 1 McMaster 9 8 0 491 449 16 Guelph 84, McMaster 81 LAURIER 11 8 3 0 664 592 16 Brock 9 6 3 0 512 502 12 Upcoming Games Waterloo 10 5 5 0 544 519 10 Allison McGee Windsor 10 3 n 0 552 587 6 Steve Moffat LAURIER at Brock (Sat. Feb 14) Western 11 3 8 0 546 603 6 Volleyball Volleyball Western at LAURIER (Wed. Feb. 18) Guelph 10 2 8 0 518 575 4 LAURIER at Guelph (Sat. Feb. 21)

Results

McMaster 55, Western 53 Waterloo 69, Guelph 67 LAURIER 61, Brock 56 LAURIER 59, Western 33 McMaster 66, Guelph 51 Windsor 52, Waterloo 49 Brock 57, Windsor 53 I Applications are now being | \ accepted for the positions of: | Be\bur Own Boss Young people can get an interest free loan Student j to start up their own summer or year round business. Ask us how. CALLFREE Managers 1-800-387-0777 or visit your placement office. IT COULD PUT YOU IN BUSINESS. START UP is sponsored by the Ontario Ministry of Skills Development \ Of Wilfs and the Turret in co-operation with The Ontario Chamber of | Commerce and The Royal Bank of Canada. Ontario 3 Applications and resumes must be submitted to W.L.U. 5 of Skills vlinistry Development g Personnel M Sorbara ©GregoryMinister Ontario THE CORD WEEKLY 28 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12,1987 |FLUFFVS PIZZA & PASTA PLACE] I 170 University Ave. W. I I We Deliver! 746-1220 I

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