Index

ABCnews.com, 86 rise of in, abusive relationships, 29–30, 58–59 111–112 See also binge drinking academics AFL-CIO Department for improving, 65 Professional Employees, negative consequences of 26 drinking, 131–133 age of onset addiction depression and, 25 The Audit Test (quiz), life stages and, 1–2 134–137 See also pain drunkorexia and, 88–89 aging reasons for, 8–13 blood level and, 24 substituting one addiction physical pain of, 23–24 for another, 16 Al-Anon/Alateen, 200–202 See also ; alcohol recovery;COPYRIGHTED treatment blood MATERIAL alcohol level, 24, 39, adolescent girls 60, 85 alcoholism of, 17 calories in, 90–93 peers of, 64, 67, 143 as depressant, 11 relaxation techniques for, tolerance level for, 42, 96, 163 97–98

231

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Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), alcohol-level analyzers, 69 168–187 alcohol poisoning, 107 : The Alcohol Research & Health, Story of How More Than 100–101 One Hundred Men Have American Medical Association, Recovered from Alcoholism 57 (Big Book), 15, 168–169 anorexia, 85–86. See also author’s personal experience, drunkorexia 15 anti-depressants, 28 frequently asked questions anxiety about, 174–175 anxiety attacks, 10–13 history of, 168–169 mental pain and alcoholism, meetings, 170–172 26–28 method of, 169–170 self-medicating with alcohol, on “rigorous honesty,” 152 2 spirituality and, 34, Armstrong, Heather, 83 172–174 attention deficit hyperactivity sponsors, 149, 175–181 disorder (ADHD), Alcoholics Anonymous 123–124 (Alcoholics Anonymous), Audit Test, The (quiz), 15 134–137 Alcohol IQ (quiz), 5–6 alcoholism Babyonboard (blog), 74 age of onset, 1–2, 25 Bad Girls Club, 60 “borderline,” 174–175 barhopping as chronic, 16 emotional pain and as disease, 159 alcoholism, 28 explaining to children, finding alternatives to, 52, 194–195 54–55 as loss of control, 40 group drinking and, social drinking and, 77 51, 52 See also barhopping; binge lifestyle and, 50–51 drinking; closet drinkers; lifestyle of, 48–49 drunkorexia; gender recovery from, 150 issues; momtini mothers; role models and, 49–50 pain triggers for, 53–55

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beer, calories in, 91–92 recovery, 153 behavior contracts, 70–71 sponsors, 181 Being Sober (blog), 153 support, 64 Belkin, Lisa, 82 blood alcohol level Benson, Herbert, 163–164 aging and, 24 Big Book (Alcoholics alcohol absorption time and, Anonymous: The Story 60 of How More Than One duration of alcohol in body Hundred Men Have and, 39 Recovered from Alcoholism) eating while drinking, 85 (Alcoholics Anonymous), “borderline” alcoholism, 15, 168–169 174–175 binge drinking boredom, 31–32 barhopping characteristics Bradley, Alice, 83 compared to, 51 brain behavior contracts and, adolescent development and 70–71 binge drinking, 59–60 brain development and, disease, 100 59–60 brandy, calories in, 92 defined, 2 breakups, postrecovery, parents’ role in, 66–70 202–203 prevalence of, 2 breast cancer, 99 rise of, among adolescent tests, 69 girls, 58–59 bulimia, 85–86, 89–90. See also during spring break drunkorexia vacations, 56–58, 60–62 bullying triggers of, 62–66 responding to, 65–66 Biological , 85 social pain of, 31 bipolar disorder, 25–28 blogs caffeine, 165 for adolescents, 64 calories creating, 66 in alcohol, 90–93 for dealing with pain, 32 malnourishment, 101 drunkorexia, 87–88 nutrition needed for parenting, 4, 64, 73, 74, recovery, 164–166 82–84 See also drunkorexia

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car accidents, 98. See also Core Recovery Process (CRP) for compulsive cycle of pain, Celebrate Recovery, 45 22 Center for the Study of motivation and, 156 Addiction and Recovery, as recovery paradigm, 2 Texas Tech University, crises, as trigger points, 150– 18 152 Centers for Disease Control, 2 Cruz, Sharon Wegsheider, children 193–194 effect of alcoholism on, custody, of children, 124–127 192–195 empty nest syndrome and Dartmouth College, 58 closet drinking, 45 dating, without drinking, 53– losing custody of, 124–127 55. See also barhopping; stereotypes about alcoholism binge drinking and, 8 Day By Day, Recovery support groups for children Resources, 178–180 of addicts, 64, 200–204 depression See also family alcohol as depressant, 11 closet drinkers, 38–47 author’s experience with, characteristics of, 32, 38–40 11, 13 coming out, 41–45 mental pain and alcoholism, recovery for, 45–47, 150 25–28 cocktail culture recovery from, 150 barhopping and, 52 detoxification (detox) cocktail playdate guidelines, for closet drinking, 41 79–80 (See also momtini defined, 157 mothers) expectations for, 159 of momtini mothers, 72 treatment for, 15 coming out, 41–45 Dietary Guidelines (2010) compulsive behavior, 1 (U.S.D.A.), 164 coping mechanisms discussion groups (AA), 171 finding alternatives to divorce drinking, 4, 15, 41, 45–47, closet drinking and, 43–45 52, 54–55 emotional pain and recovery and, 161–167 alcoholism, 28

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postrecovery breakups, friends as, 149 202–203 husbands as, 195–197 Dooce (blog), 83 events, as trigger points, Dotsie, Elizabeth, 78 151–152 Doyle, Jennifer, 84 excuses, against quitting, Drinking: A Love Story 140–146, 188–192 (Knapp), 7 exercise drunk driving as alternative to drinking, 15, dangers of, 12 52, 81 by momtini mothers, 77–80 benefits of, 166, 183 physical consequences of drinking, 98, 110–114 Families Anonymous (FA), drunkorexia, 85–95 201–202 addiction and, 88–89 family, 188–209 calories in alcohol, 90–93 effect of alcoholism on, defined, 85–86 188–195 identifying, 93–95 family-of-origin pain, 28–29 purging of liquids, 89–90 husbands as enablers, treating, 95 195–197 women as marketing targets husbands as jealous, 203–204 and, 86–88 interventions by, 197–200 “dry” alcoholics, 44, 147 postrecovery breakups, 202–203 eating disorders. See powerlessness felt by, drunkorexia 204–209 education relational consequences, continuing/resuming, 46 115–120 improving grades, 65 treatment support by, negative consequences of 200–202 drinking and, 131–133 Family Heroes, children of emotional pain addicts as, 193 defined, 28–30 fear expectations for recovery, closet drinking and, 44 160–161 of family members, 204–209 empty nest syndrome, 45 momtini mothers and, enablers 76–77

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fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS)/ gratitude, 155, 186–187 fetal alcohol effects Griffioen, J. D., 73–74 (FAE), 100 guilt, 21 Finslippy (blog), 83 Gumbinner, Liz, 84 Fisher, Carrie, 7 Ford, Betty, 14 happiness, set point theory of, 43things.com (website), 146 154–155 fraternity parties, 58 heart disease, 98 Free Range Kids (blog), 83 [email protected] friends (blog), 64 finding supportive friends, Hilton, Paris, 50 149–150 (See also support holidays, as trigger points, networks) 151–152 relational consequences of Holloway, Natalee, 58 drinking and, 120–123 honesty, recovery and, 152– as trigger points, 151 154 functional alcoholics, 7–8, 39. hopelessness, 33–34 See also closet drinkers husbands as enablers, 195–197 gender issues as jealous, 203–204 gender of sponsors, 171–172 See also divorce; family physical consequences of hypomania, 27–28 drinking and, 97 self-blame and, 21 Identify Your Pain (quiz), spiritual pain and 34–37 alcoholism, 33 infertility, 100–101 See also women alcoholics Injury Prevention, 98 Gilbert, Melissa, 69 inpatients, defined, 157 gin, calories in, 92 intervention girls’ night out (sober), 80–81 defined, 157–158 goals by family, 197–200 excuses for not quitting, traditional, 3 140–146, 188–192 resilience, 138–140 Jackass, 59–60 See also recovery jealousy, of husbands, 203–204 grades, improving, 65 jobs

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negative consequences of statistics of, 51 drinking, 124–127 See also children; family socializing/drinking as Marshall, Shelly, 178–180 requirement for, 144 Martin, Father Joseph, 175 for teens, 68 Martyrs, husbands as, 196–197 Journal of Clinical Oncology, 99 Mascots, children of addicts as, Journal of Studies on Alcohol, 99 194 journals, 66 meals, sharing, 165 media, images in, 50 Kirkpatrick, Jeane, 47 medical treatment Knapp, Caroline, 7 author’s personal experience, 14–19 Lainey (blogger), 87–88 Center for the Study of laughter, benefits of, 167 Addiction and Recovery, liver disease, 13, 16, 100, Texas Tech University, 18 101–105 medication interactions, 98–99 Lohan, Lindsey, 50 meetings (AA), 171, 182. Lost Children, children of See also Alcoholics addicts as, 193 Anonymous (AA) lying, recovery and, 152–154 Mellor, Christine, 73 memoirs, of alcoholics, 7 Mad Men, 72 Memorial Sloane Kettering, 104 makeover, 46–47 memories, as trigger points, malnourishment, 101. See also 152 drunkorexia mental health Manson, JoAnn, 89 alcoholism and eating marketing disorders, 88–89 (See also to adolescent girls and drunkorexia) women, 59 anxiety, 2, 10–13, 26–28 drunkorexia and, 86–88 bipolar disorder, 25–28 marriage compulsive behavior, 1 divorce, 28, 43–45, 202–203 depression, 11, 13, 25–28, husbands as enablers, 195– 150 197 expectations for recovery, husbands as jealous, 161 203–204 mental pain, 25–28

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Mental Health America, 25 National Association of mentors Treatment Providers, 127 finding, 64–65 National Eating Disorders volunteering as, 52 Association (NEDA), See also sponsors 93–94 MetLife Foundation, 66 National Institute of Mom 101 (blog), 84 Alcoholism Abuse and Mommy Blog, 82 Addiction (NIAAA) momtini mothers, 72–84 aging, 23–24 expectations of perfection alcoholism and eating and, 80 disorders, 88 fear and, 76–77 infertility, 100–101 phrase origin, 72–73 physical consequences and prevalence of, 73–74 gender differences, 97 safety issues for, 77–80 women alcoholics, statistics, sober alternatives for, 79, 2 80–84 negative consequences social pain and alcoholism, academic, 131–133 32 binge drinking and , work-life balance and, 74–76 57–58 (See also binge Motherlode (blog), 82 drinking) Mothers for Social Drinking counseling alcoholics and, (blog), 73 114–115 motivation, for recovery, 156– guilt and shame, 21 157 legal, 124–127 Museum of Art, Rhode Island for momtini mothers, 77–80 School of Design, 52 physical, 97–114 “My Sobering Secret” relational, 115–124 (Babyonboard), 74 tips for staying sober, 185 mysobernotes.com (blog), 32 tolerance level for alcohol and, 96, 97–98 Nap Time Is the New Happy work, 127–130 Hour (Wilder-Taylor), 74 New York, 75 National Association of New York Times, 89, 94 Premenstrual Syndrome nicotine, 90 (NAPS), 24–25 nutrition

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malnourishment, 101 parties for recovery, 164–166 fraternity parties, 58 See also drunkorexia refusing drinks at, 63 sober, 55 online social networks, for Partnership for a Drug-Free support, 64. See also blogs America, 57, 66 Ornish, Dean, 163 partying. See barhopping; binge outpatients, defined, 158 drinking Overeaters Anonymous, 66 peer groups, seeking out, 64, 67, 143. See also pain, 20–37 adolescent girls; friends; compulsive behavior caused support networks by, 22–23 perfectionism, expectations of, Core Recovery Process 80 (CRP) for, 2–3, 22 personal fables, 67 emotional, 28–30 physical consequences, 97–114 Identify Your Pain (quiz), brain disease, 100 34–37 breast cancer, 99 inevitability of, 210 car accidents, 98 mental, 25–28 drunk driving, 98, 110–114 physical, 23–25 expectations for recovery, social, 31–33 158–160 spiritual, 33–34 fetal alcohol syndrome universal nature of, 20–21 (FAS)/fetal alcohol effects Parent, Family & Friends (FAE), 100 Network, 95 gender differences, 97 ParentDish (blog), 69, 73–74 heart disease, 98 Parent Hacks (blog), 83–84 infertility, 100–101 parenting liver disease, 100, 101–105 of adolescents, 66–70 malnourishment, 101 (See of adult children with also drunkorexia) drinking problems, 69–70 medication interactions, custody issues, 124–127 98–99 See also children; momtini physical assault, 105–110 mothers (See also violence) partial care, defined, 158 violent crime, 99, 105–110

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physical pain, 23–25 Core Recovery Process phytonutrients, 166 (CRP) as recovery places, as trigger point, 151– paradigm, 2 152, 182–183, 183 defined, 3 Playgroups Are Not for Children definitions for treatment (blog), 84 terms, 157–158 pocketsponsor.com (blog), difficulty of, 210–211 181 expectations for, 154–155, powerlessness, felt by family 158–161 members, 204–209 gratitude, 186–187 premenstrual syndrome helping others with, 185– (PMS), 24–25 186 privacy, of teens, 68, 69 honesty needed for, 152–154 processed foods, 165 lifestyle change for, 147–148 Provokers, husbands as, 196 motivation for, 156–157 pub crawl. See barhopping postrecovery breakups, purging, 85–86, 89–90 202–203 purpose sponsors for, 149 rediscovering, 45–46 success rates, 17 spiritual pain and support networks for, 149– alcoholism, 33–34 150 tips for staying sober, 181– quizzes 185 Alcohol IQ, 5–6 trigger points of, 150–152 The Audit Test, 134–137 See also Alcoholics Identify Your Pain, 34–37 Anonymous (AA); sponsors Rankin, Florence, 168 Recovery Comics, 167 rape, 99, 105–110. See also Recovery Connection, 95 violence refined foods, 165 recovery, 147–167 rehabilitation (rehab), defined, author’s personal experience, 158 14–19 relapse choosing life over liquor, barhopping and, 53–55 138–146 binge drinking and, 62–66 coping skills for, 161–167 recovery and, 150–152

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relational consequences, Schuler, Diane, 78 115–124 screen time, limiting, 68 with family, 115–120 self-blame, 21 with friends, 120–123 self-esteem, 41–45 relationships as trigger self-medicating points, 150–152 for anxiety, 2 See also family; friends; for physical pain, 23 marriage Senior, Jennifer, 75 relaxation techniques Serenity Prayer, 172 importance of, 162–163 set point theory, 154–155 meditation, 184–185 Sex and the City, 49–50 relaxation response, sexual harassment, 9–10 163–164 sexually explicit videos, 59 visualization, 184 shame Remuda Ranch, 95 closet drinking and, 40 Rescuers, husbands as, as negative consequence of 195–196 drinking, 21 resiliency significance, need for.See choosing life over liquor, purpose 138–140 singles. See barhopping; binge defined, 3 drinking; divorce developing, 211–212 Skenazy, Lenore, 83 Rhode Island School of Design, SMART Recovery, 125 52 Smashed: The Story of a “rigorous honesty,” 152 Drunken Girlhood Roberts, Melinda, 82 (Zailckas), 7 Roe, Purvi, 77 Smith, Bob, 168 role models, barhopping and, smoking 49–50 AA and, 174 rum, calories in, 92 dangers of, 90 running, 15 as trigger point, 152 Soberandsingle.com (website), safety. See negative 54 consequences Scapegoats, children of addicts barhopping alternatives, 52, as, 193 54–55

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sobriety (continued) stayathomemotherdom (blog), 4 binge drinking alternatives, Stop Bullying Now, 31 63–66, 67–68 sugar, 165 closet drinking alternatives, Summers, Melissa, 72–73 41, 45–47 support networks for momtini mothers, 79, husbands’ jealousy of, 80–84 203–204 postrecovery breakups, importance of, 16, 17 202–203 online, 64 (See also blogs) seeking out, 4, 15, 183–184 for rape victims, 110 tips for, 181–185 for recovery, 149–150 See also recovery sober, social, and supportive social drinking (three Ss), 41 barhopping and group tips for staying sober, 181– drinking, 51, 52 182 excuses for not drinking, 142 See also blogs in presence of children, 73, 77–80 (See also momtini teenagers. See adolescent girls mothers) Teens of Alcoholic Parents, 64 social pain, 31–33 tequila, calories in, 92 speaker meetings (AA), 171 Texas Tech University, 18 spiritual ideology Three-Martini Playdate: of Alcoholics Anonymous A Practical Guide to (AA), 172–174 Parenting, The (Mellor), 73 for recovery, 63 tissue tolerance, 98 spiritual pain, 33–34 tolerance level, for alcohol, 42, sponsors 96, 97–98 defined, 149 treatment finding, 175–180 average time of rehab stay, importance of, 17–18 22 working with, 180–181 cost of, 90 See also mentors defined, 158 sports events, for dates, 54–55 definitions for treatment spring break vacations, binge terms, 157–158 drinking during, 56–58, for drunkorexia, 95 60–62 expectations for, 160

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family support during, Wilder-Taylor, Stephanie, 74 200–202 Wild on E!, 61 for liver disease, 104–105 Wilson, Bill, 168 See also physical wine consequences; recovery calories in, 91 12stepmatch.com (website), 54 closet drinking, 40 wine coolers, 59 U.S. Department of Wishful Drinking (Fisher), 7 Agriculture, 164 withdrawal, 15, 158–160 women alcoholics van der Sloot, Joran, 58 Alcohol IQ (quiz), 5–6 vermouth, calories in, 92 as functional alcoholics, videos, sexually explicit, 59 7–8 (See also closet violence drinkers) binge drinking and, 57–58 high tolerance of, for violent crime and drinking, alcohol, 42, 96, 97–98 99, 105–110 prevalence of, 2 See also negative stereotypes, 8 consequences variation in, 1 vodka, calories in, 92 See also alcoholism; volunteering, 46, 52, 81–82 barhopping; binge drinking; drunkorexia; water, sobriety and, 181–185 momtini mothers weight gain, 85–95. See also Women for Sobriety (WFS), calories; drunkorexia 47 Weil, Andrew, 163 work-life balance wet t-shirt contests, 56–58, momtini mothers and, 60–62 74–76 whiskey, calories in, 92–93 for working mothers, 26 “Why Parents Hate Parenting” (New York), 75 Zailckas, Doren, 7

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